Every woman wants to feel safe to be themselves within a group of women; we secretly crave to have a deeper level of intimacy with each other. The Esoteric Women’s Health Well-being for Women group in Melbourne on Sunday 17th March offered just that – the topic discussed was anxiety and stress. Continue reading “Well-Being for Women Melbourne – the Impact of Anxiety and Stress “
Three days ago, I woke up with a frozen shoulder; I was unable to sleep the prior night or get out of bed. This has happened before, but this time, with the help of my amazing practitioner, Jenny Ellis, I really listened to the message being offered up. I came to understand the message along with fixing the actual physical pain. And this is what I discovered… Continue reading “A Frozen Shoulder: Thawing my Resistance to my Inner Quality”
From a very young age the only relationship I had with my breasts was one laced with despair, discomfort and shame. Having developed breasts from a young age I spent most of my life trying to hide their size and wishing they were not so large, as I didn’t like the attention that they attracted, particularly from boys and later on men.
It wasn’t until I had a breast cancer diagnosis in 2008 and being faced with surgery did the relationship I had with my breasts change.
The first change in relationship was that it was now based on fear – the fear of losing my breasts, the very breasts that I had for such a long time ignored and condemned. All of a sudden they were not so bad after all.
I developed breast cancer five years ago and I knew it was a ‘wake up call’ for me to change my ways. I had spent most of my life focused on helping other people instead of first caring for myself by living in a way that is loving and honouring of me.
Focusing mainly on others proved to be detrimental to my own body. I had been disregarding of how I was living. By being constantly on the go, propelled by the nervous energy that seemed to be energizing but in fact was extremely exhaustive. At the time, I didn’t feel the degree to which I was exhausted and how tired I was as I hadn’t been focusing on how my body really felt.
Could it be that our body’s intelligence knows what is true and what is not and therefore brings to our awareness behaviours that do not support our health and wellbeing? Could it be that all illness and disease is our body’s way of healing aspects of ourselves that are not true? This is certainly my experience with breast cancer. Through cancer I have found out that my body had another reality about life. Continue reading “Breast Cancer – How and Why?”
When was the last time you stood in front of a mirror, naked, and looked at your breasts?
When was the last time you stood in front of a mirror, naked, and looked at your breasts, absolutely without any judgement?
When was the last time you washed and moisturised your breasts with the tenderness, equal if not greater to holding a newborn baby?
When did you last care for your breasts the way you care for your face?
It is well worth stopping and pondering on these questions…
So, how do we see our breasts?
In 2008 I had breast cancer at the ripe age of 33, and now every year I choose to have both a mammogram and ultrasound as part of my overall breast care program.
Over the past couple of years I have become more aware of how I am as I go into having my mammograms. I realized that for the first few years, I would pretty much check out so as to not to feel what was really taking place – which is that your breasts are being squished several times uncomfortably between two glass plates!
I stood in front of the mirror and was drawn to my eyes… they were shining and so full of light that I stayed there for quite some time, mesmerised by the beauty they radiated and promised. The sheer sweetness and delicacy in my face reminded me of the beautiful little girl inside me – a sweet, moment… a soul-full moment… I was alive because I had discovered a new way of living.
4 years ago when I looked in the same mirror, my eyes reflected a dullness, a tiredness, sadness, struggle, a giving up and an ache, a longing to know that there had to be more to life than my painful existence. I tended to avoid looking deeply into my eyes because truth never hides when sought and the truth was painful – my eyes spoke volumes.
Jacqueline in the Bahamas aged 44
So what happened in the short space of 4 years? I changed… I changed my life, or it could be said that life changed me, and I was more than ready.
The diagnosis of breast cancer in July 2011 was a life changing event for me in a magnificent way, mainly because it was the catalyst of letting go of an old way of living (from my head) and beginning to live from my body – a whole new experience. From the intelligence of my body I knew which choices would truly support and that is why they were so successful and brought a new quality to my life.
What Were The Choices I Made?
My very first decision was to put myself first in my life.
My second decision was to give myself all the support my body and I needed.
My third decision was to combine medical treatment with complementary treatments in the form of Scared Esoteric Healing and Esoteric Chakra Puncture, modalities presented by Serge Benhayon of Universal Medicine.
From these three decisions, all other choices I made naturally unfolded… I made changes to my diet, sleep, exercise… but mainly I slowed down and in this slower pace it was clear to see what mattered and what didn’t. It was heaven to take all the rest and sleep my body needed at any time of the day… for as long as I needed.
It took me to develop breast cancer to break this life-long pattern of putting all others before myself, so ingrained and unconscious this habit had become. By doing so, by cutting this old energy of self-abuse, I was saying “No More!” to a lifestyle that led to my breast cancer and I was saying yes to a new way of living that was truly self-supporting. Without realizing this then, I was actually building a new foundation for my life that would not only greatly support me during treatment, but how I was going to move forward, that is, how I was going to live after treatment ended.
My second decision was born from the first and was very powerful because I turned my old pattern of being unable to receive or ask for support on its head to: “I need all the support that is available to guide me through a land I had never travelled before – breast cancer”.
My third decision was born from the second. I just knew that the combination of both medicines (conventional and Esoteric Medicine) would provide all the support my body needed, addressing all the parts of me that desperately needed attention – the whole me and not just my right breast. This proved to be a very wise decision.
And in that very wise decision came a new insight, which was;
I had a significant part to play in my own recovery.
All of a sudden, there was me, there was my medical treatment and esoteric medicine; so much support for me. This feeling of so much support, something I had never had before, somehow comforted me on many levels, so much so that there was no way I could feel powerless, or feel like a victim, or go into ‘fight’ mode as is expected as soon as you get cancer. When I allowed the support I could let go of the struggle of having to do things on my own!
To Fight or To Surrender?
Had I not met Serge Benhayon and had his loving support, I too feel I would have taken on the fight, making it impossible to surrender – making it impossible to accept what I had created.
But as it was, not one bone in my body said, “I have to fight this cancer”. My whole life had been a battle and I was so done with the struggle, I had no fight left in me to either fight life or my breast cancer. The moment I gave up the ‘fight’ was the moment I could surrender, was the moment I allowed grace to enter… and this was the moment I could have all the support I could handle.
Now I have come to understand why I always felt a lack of support in my life was simply because I was not ready to take responsibility for my life or my choices. When I did take responsibility so much support was there for me, and having adequate support in place was crucial for me as it took away so much of my fear which initially had overwhelmed me, as fear had kept me in resistance to treatment.
The belief that we have to fight cancer, is a great distraction from truly seeing what learning is being offered to us by the cancer in our body, and what life style changes it is asking us to make.
For instance I have come to understand from what Serge Benhayon presents, that the breasts are the nurturing centres of the body, therefore my breast cancer was showing me the deep lack of self-nurturing I had for myself. I had no clue how to self-nurture, nor self-nourish, having always taken care of others first. I had to re-learn how to truly self-care and self-nurture, which flowed naturally when I started listening to my body and what it was communicating to me.
Life Is About Quality
Having surrendered and accepted my part in creating breast cancer my life took on a new quality. My quality of life changed because I was choosing to allow support, self-support, self-nurture, self-nourishment, which began a new relationship and reconnection with my body. Ah my body…
Truth never hides when sought, and truth can be painful. The painful truth for me was that I had given up on myself, then used many distractions not to feel this – not to feel how deeply disconnected and checked-out I was with my body. But, as I discovered: honouring myself reconnected me with my body and brought me back to truth and truth brought me back to myself and my sweetness…
The beautiful, sweet little girl I had always been inside began to trust – trust herself, trust in people, trust in life, trust that her purpose in life was just to be herself, and with this knowing, she could let go of how serious, small and constricted her life had become, (her old way of living) and open to the grandness that life is, that she is, that we all are… This is such a sweet moment, a soul-full moment because I am alive; you just have to look into my eyes…
I am a Soul. We are all souls on this earth finding our way back home; self-love is the key.
‘True Power is in honouring who you truly are’.
I am forever grateful and deeply inspired by ‘The Way of the Livingness’, the loving reflection of Serge Benhayon, all the Benhayon family, and all the Universal Medicine practitioners who reflect this new way of living. A heart-full thank you to you all for all the loving support I have received in finding and living truth again.
By Jacqueline McFadden, The Netherlands
More groundbreaking articles by Jacqueline McFadden Breast Cancer – Prevention Has to be Better than a Cure “My life had been my own creation… including my breast cancer……”
Preventing Breast Cancer – Changing How We Feel About Our Bodies
“It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies. It is a billion, trillion, zillion times away from normal…”
You may also Enjoy reading:
Read Fiona McGovern’s deeply inspiring account of how she found herself in My Right Breast – Finding Me Beneath the Cancer “I have found the reflection of how to be a woman! It was with me all along, waiting for me to reconnect to her…I have met me.”
Fiona’s writing continue in My Marriage of Conventional Medicine and Esoteric Medicine
“People say cancer is a fight. I don’t feel it is. The battle for me was before, when I lived from ideals and beliefs, now I have reconnected to me there is no fight or battle, just a beautiful return to truth.”
I am a 43 year-young woman and for most of my life I have had no relationship with my menstrual cycle. At some point, I found out that there was such a thing as ‘menstruation’ and at the age of 14, wearing white pants on that particular day (how convenient…), it started for me in the toilet at school. I had my first menstruation and I had no idea what to do. I felt awkward and embarrassed, especially because it was on a day that my father picked me up and suggested we go for a long walk with the dogs. That was the longest walk of my life. I asked my two older sisters for support and I was introduced into the world of sanitary pads. And having my monthly period.
And so my life continued…
At the age of 16 I had my first boyfriend and my mother suggested taking the pill. Not because I had difficulties with my period, but for birth control. After that, for many years to follow, and having several relationships, I took the pill, had my monthly ‘fake’ menstruation, put in a tampon (so much more convenient than those big sanitary towel ‘mattresses’), and I lived my life; A life without any connection to my cycle, my body, my uterus, my ovaries, my breasts, my menstruation, my ovulation – in other words, to the fact that I was a woman, with a menstrual cycle.
I never took a moment to ask myself what it actually means to be a woman, let alone what it means to live as a woman.
Having lived through breast cancer I now truly know that ‘prevention is better than a cure’, and the way forward in terms of preventing breast cancer and indeed all illness and disease has to be; changing how we feel about our bodies and embracing, acknowledging and appreciating how very precious and tender yet powerful they truly are. Honesty is the first step. Having discovered for myself the powerful medicine honesty is, I can share from my own experience with breast cancer and say without any hesitation:
I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.
A powerful statement, powerful in its honesty, and which had a powerful, remarkable impact on my treatment and recovery. By all considerations I was a healthy woman, I did lots of yoga, and did not smoke, rarely drank and was not overweight. So how did I create my own illness?
In the media there has been a lot of coverage on breast cancer, mastectomy and the ‘very few choices’ a woman has when diagnosed. It feels there is no time like now to look at how prevention is better than a cure and how more choices become available when we come back to honesty, and truly listen to our bodies.
A simple question perhaps we should address is:
What do we women need to change in order to prevent a diagnosis of breast cancer in the first place, so that we never have to face the possibility of a mastectomy, or taking drugs like Tamoxifen to prevent a mastectomy (not forgetting that there are side effects that come with this drug)?
Where do we begin? The answer appears obvious….