The Woman

by Shannon Everest, Australia

A woman belongs to herself.

She may have a husband or a partner that she loves dearly, but she doesn’t belong to this man.

She may have children, but she does not belong to these children; though she can express beautifully as a mother with her children, being firm, loving, tender and supportive.

She has a mother and father herself, and even though these parents conceived her, gave birth to her and raised her from young, she never, ever belonged to them, but always to herself.

She also might have brothers and sisters, but these siblings she grew up with, experienced the beginnings of life and had much childhood fun with, do not define her; she does not belong to them.

She will have lots of family, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, but she does not belong to these people.

She will have friendships with these connections being very dear and precious to her, but she does not belong to these connections; she belongs to herself.

She may be employed, but she does not belong to her employer, or to her fellow workmates or clients and patients or customers. Although she very much loves her work and all of the people she has the joy of meeting through her work, this does not define her. She does not belong to these roles.

A woman belongs to herself.

She may also have a pet, such as a dog, and even though she has a responsibility to this member of her family, to walk, to feed, to shelter and give it warmth, she does not belong to this pet.

The truth that a woman belongs to herselffirst, is the most intrinsic, innate truth and natural law I know myself. This truth is an absolute known to me, and I know it from living my life.

Yet everything in this world tells me otherwise.

Every relationship I have ever had at various times in my life, dares to say in some shape or form, that I belong to it and must therefore adhere to its rules.

These are rules that have not honoured the inner feelings that rest deep in my heart.

A natural law to me is that I belong to myself.

A rule would be that I belong to all of the relationships I have – before belonging to myself first.

The order of placing oneself first makes all the difference.

Rules are often expressions that to me occur without words, but rather in a silent body language that can be actually very loud! And often, to stand up and claim this natural law, and truth – that I am a woman and I belong to myself, creates calamity in others, because of all the roles we are so used to playing; all the needs we need met; the spaces that need filling…

But to stand up and to say ‘no’ to this old way of being offers the greatest of joys…

Reminding everyone who may have forgotten – that we belong to ourselves first.

1,182 thoughts on “The Woman

  1. “Every relationship I have ever had at various times in my life, dares to say in some shape or form, that I belong to it and must therefore adhere to its rules.” This is brilliant, so true to the unspoken rules I encounter in relationships and in other ways, One of my favourite all time blogs, it’s timeless in its truth.

  2. To have that sense of belonging first from within, to ourselves and with ourselves, is so important it is the foundation for all of our relationships and life .. after all who is with us 24/7 but ourselves. Awesome blog ❤️

  3. Yes it is extremely common in my experience to see women basically putting everyone else’s needs and demands ahead of their own needs and over-riding and harming their own bodies in the process.

  4. In some cultural traditions a woman belongs to the family and they own you. It is important to expose the harm caused and challenge any belief that does not allow a woman to be her own free and true self.

  5. ‘A woman belongs to herself’ a powerful statement, one rarely expressed and yet should be. I wonder how my life would have been had I been schooled to embrace this core responsibility from a young age.

  6. Perhaps the reason why we taken on so many roles is because we feel worthless without them. Because we have lost a connection to ourselves that is worth more than anything in this world.

  7. When a woman knows herself from her essence she connects to a universal truth and innate knowing and wisdom that is deeply felt by all and pulls everyone up to feel and reconnect to the truth of who we are in essence too.

  8. How empowering for women to know and understand that we have been programmed by ideals and beliefs to behave in a way that is not true for us.
    “A women belongs to herself ”

    1. The stillness I feel in my body is beautiful when I say those words to myself “A woman belongs to herself.”

  9. A beautiful reminder to come back to of who we are as women and the joy and expansiveness of this when claimed for ourselves.

  10. “We belong to ourselves first ” a real reflection of our love for ourselves first in our connection within and the true depth of ripples from this in our lives eveywhere is very beautiful to feel.

    1. It is very beautiful to feel and when we return to ourselves, the deeper we surrender within, the more we get to feel that there is no self but a oneness that connects us all to the grandness that we all are.

  11. ‘A woman belongs to herself.’ this takes away the pressure of the identifying ourselves with the roles we as women have, yes we work, yes we are a friend, a mother, a daughter but that’s something else than belonging and make ourselves lesser because of that. I belong to myself and everything I experience is there for me to stand on my own two feet and feel the wise woman I am.

  12. ‘Reminding everyone who may have forgotten – that we belong to ourselves first.’
    I just love this sentence. It frees my body just reading it.

  13. Thank you for reminding me of far far I have come since my first marriage where I was ‘given away’ by my father in the traditional way and how freely I stood as myself belonging to me when I married the second time in a decision I totally owned for myself as a woman. I also work for myself so no one owns me there either and rarely do they seek to do so. I own my own choices and decisions in every way.

  14. I belong to myself and everyone belong to themselves. How freeing is that and how much order it brings into life… no orders or expectations, but the potential of a respectful, equal and responsible encounter each time we relate with others.

    1. Yes Amparo, truly freeing. It’s as if the weight of shouldering false responsibilities falls away, replaced by a lightness that allows us to be who we are and allows others to be who they are with no expectations.

  15. “A women belongs to herself ” An amazing sharing on the truth of who we are as women in our natural innate sweetness power and authority and the livingness of this being the opposite to all the ideals beliefs and moulds we are cast to be.

  16. Bringing it back to my own relationship with myself is a sweet and unfolding journey, of which there is no end just more depth.

  17. “We belong to ourselves first” this blows away all the identification in the roles that we play through out life, and the giving away of ourselves in all the ways you have mentioned, when in fact the truth is, I belong to me I am a woman first and foremost.

    1. And when we accept who we are and return to ourselves, we get to feel that we are all deeply connected to each other and there is no ownership of who belongs to who or where we belong because it connects us to a deep knowing that we are all One, and not exclusive to one relationship, a family, community or race but connecting to the fact that we all belong to the entire universe.

      1. I love this chanly88 – when we accept our deepest connection to each other, there is no ownership or exclusivity. We are opens to be more of who we are, loving self and all others knowing we are all One.

      2. Thank you Chan for expanding the conversation, we belong equally to the everything God is.

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