A Frozen Shoulder: Thawing my Resistance to my Inner Quality

Three days ago, I woke up with a frozen shoulder; I was unable to sleep the prior night or get out of bed. This has happened before, but this time, with the help of my amazing practitioner, Jenny Ellis, I really listened to the message being offered up. I came to understand the message along with fixing the actual physical pain. And this is what I discovered… Continue reading “A Frozen Shoulder: Thawing my Resistance to my Inner Quality”

How Breast Cancer Led Me To A New Way Of Living

I stood in front of the mirror and was drawn to my eyes… they were shining and so full of light that I stayed there for quite some time, mesmerised by the beauty they radiated and promised. The sheer sweetness and delicacy in my face reminded me of the beautiful little girl inside me – a sweet, moment… a soul-full moment… I was alive because I had discovered a new way of living.

4 years ago when I looked in the same mirror, my eyes reflected a dullness, a tiredness, sadness, struggle, a giving up and an ache, a longing to know that there had to be more to life than my painful existence. I tended to avoid looking deeply into my eyes because truth never hides when sought and the truth was painful – my eyes spoke volumes.

Jacqueline in the Bahamas aged 44

So what happened in the short space of 4 years? I changed… I changed my life, or it could be said that life changed me, and I was more than ready.

The diagnosis of breast cancer in July 2011 was a life changing event for me in a magnificent way, mainly because it was the catalyst of letting go of an old way of living (from my head) and beginning to live from my body – a whole new experience. From the intelligence of my body I knew which choices would truly support and that is why they were so successful and brought a new quality to my life.

What Were The Choices I Made?

My very first decision was to put myself first in my life.

My second decision was to give myself all the support my body and I needed.

My third decision was to combine medical treatment with complementary treatments in the form of Scared Esoteric Healing and Esoteric Chakra Puncture, modalities presented by Serge Benhayon of Universal Medicine.

From these three decisions, all other choices I made naturally unfolded… I made changes to my diet, sleep, exercise… but mainly I slowed down and in this slower pace it was clear to see what mattered and what didn’t. It was heaven to take all the rest and sleep my body needed at any time of the day… for as long as I needed.

It took me to develop breast cancer to break this life-long pattern of putting all others before myself, so ingrained and unconscious this habit had become. By doing so, by cutting this old energy of self-abuse, I was saying “No More!” to a lifestyle that led to my breast cancer and I was saying yes to a new way of living that was truly self-supporting. Without realizing this then, I was actually building a new foundation for my life that would not only greatly support me during treatment, but how I was going to move forward, that is, how I was going to live after treatment ended.

My second decision was born from the first and was very powerful because I turned my old pattern of being unable to receive or ask for support on its head to: “I need all the support that is available to guide me through a land I had never travelled before – breast cancer”.

My third decision was born from the second.  I just knew that the combination of both medicines (conventional and Esoteric Medicine) would provide all the support my body needed, addressing all the parts of me that desperately needed attention – the whole me and not just my right breast. This proved to be a very wise decision.

And in that very wise decision came a new insight, which was;

I had a significant part to play in my own recovery.

All of a sudden, there was me, there was my medical treatment and esoteric medicine; so much support for me. This feeling of so much support, something I had never had before, somehow comforted me on many levels, so much so that there was no way I could feel powerless, or feel like a victim, or go into ‘fight’ mode as is expected as soon as you get cancer. When I allowed the support I could let go of the struggle of having to do things on my own!

To Fight or To Surrender?

Had I not met Serge Benhayon and had his loving support, I too feel I would have taken on the fight, making it impossible to surrender – making it impossible to accept what I had created.

But as it was, not one bone in my body said, “I have to fight this cancer”. My whole life had been a battle and I was so done with the struggle, I had no fight left in me to either fight life or my breast cancer. The moment I gave up the ‘fight’ was the moment I could surrender, was the moment I allowed grace to enter… and this was the moment I could have all the support I could handle.

Now I have come to understand why I always felt a lack of support in my life was simply because I was not ready to take responsibility for my life or my choices. When I did take responsibility so much support was there for me, and having adequate support in place was crucial for me as it took away so much of my fear which initially had overwhelmed me, as fear had kept me in resistance to treatment.

The belief that we have to fight cancer, is a great distraction from truly seeing what learning is being offered to us by the cancer in our body, and what life style changes it is asking us to make.

For instance I have come to understand from what Serge Benhayon presents, that the breasts are the nurturing centres of the body, therefore my breast cancer was showing me the deep lack of self-nurturing I had for myself. I had no clue how to self-nurture, nor self-nourish, having always taken care of others first. I had to re-learn how to truly self-care and self-nurture, which flowed naturally when I started listening to my body and what it was communicating to me.

Life Is About Quality

Having surrendered and accepted my part in creating breast cancer my life took on a new quality. My quality of life changed because I was choosing to allow support, self-support, self-nurture, self-nourishment, which began a new relationship and reconnection with my body. Ah my body…

Truth never hides when sought, and truth can be painful. The painful truth for me was that I had given up on myself, then used many distractions not to feel this – not to feel how deeply disconnected and checked-out I was with my body. But, as I discovered: honouring myself reconnected me with my body and brought me back to truth and truth brought me back to myself and my sweetness…

Jaqueline McFadden - After Breast Cancer
Jacqueline aged 50 living with the sweetness of who she is

The beautiful, sweet little girl I had always been inside began to trust – trust herself, trust in people, trust in life, trust that her purpose in life was just to be herself, and with this knowing, she could let go of how serious, small and constricted her life had become, (her old way of living) and open to the grandness that life is, that she is, that we all are… This is such a sweet moment, a soul-full moment because I am alive; you just have to look into my eyes…

Jacqueline-Loving Life after Cancer
Jacqueline aged 50 radiant and loving life 4 years after being diagnosed with breast cancer

I am a Soul. We are all souls on this earth finding our way back home; self-love is the key.

‘True Power is in honouring who you truly are’.
Serge Benhayon.

I am forever grateful and deeply inspired by ‘The Way of the Livingness’, the loving reflection of Serge Benhayon, all the Benhayon family, and all the Universal Medicine practitioners who reflect this new way of living. A heart-full thank you to you all for all the loving support I have received in finding and living truth again.

By Jacqueline McFadden, The Netherlands

More groundbreaking articles by Jacqueline McFadden
 Breast Cancer – Prevention Has to be Better than a Cure  
“My life had been my own creation… including my breast cancer……”

Preventing Breast Cancer – Changing How We Feel About Our Bodies
“It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies. It is a billion, trillion, zillion times away from normal…”

You may also Enjoy reading:

Read Fiona McGovern’s deeply inspiring account of how she found herself in My Right Breast – Finding Me Beneath the Cancer  “I have found the reflection of how to be a woman! It was with me all along, waiting for me to reconnect to her…I have met me.”

Fiona’s writing continue in My Marriage of Conventional Medicine and Esoteric Medicine
“People say cancer is a fight. I don’t feel it is.  The battle for me was before, when I lived from ideals and beliefs, now I have reconnected to me there is no fight or battle, just a beautiful return to truth.”

Born to Care

The dictionary’s definition of caring is, someone that shows kindness and concern for others.

Could it be possible that this is a very narrow perspective on the true meaning of caring?

My willingness to care came in many guises and started at a very young age. With a Mum who was sometimes ill or in overwhelm, I often took on the role of mother for our family until she was well enough to resume her life. I took it upon myself to tend to and nurture the animals we had at home when they became ill and as I grew older, I would offer my services to some of my neighbours, by taking their babies out for a walk in the fine weather to get some fresh air! (This was a relatively common practice back in Ireland in the 1950s). Continue reading “Born to Care”

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, Only to Find it Was Already Within Me!

by Sharon Gavioli, Registered Nurse, Birth Educator, Counsellor, Brisbane, Australia

All my life I have had a knowing that life was about people and loving people. Despite this, as a young girl I learned that love meant that I should be good and put others’ needs before my own. This meant working hard to please my parents and friends. Throughout this, I felt a frustration at how I felt I had to be and at times would step out of line, which left me feeling bad that I had let another down. Then I would brush myself off and get back in the game in the pursuit of this love.

In my teenage years, I directed my quest for love in pursuing boys, hoping that a relationship would bring me the elusive love that I hadn’t quite found as a girl. After a few false starts, I found the man whom I was sure was going to bring me the love. Within a year of marriage, I started to feel disappointed and again frustrated that the love wasn’t pouring forth in our relationship. I tried to express this, but in the end decided that maybe having a baby would definitely be a sure winner to finally find that true love that I so longed for. Continue reading “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, Only to Find it Was Already Within Me!”

Lessons on Healing and Truth from Pinocchio

by Deborah Savran, United States

When I was a very young child my father owned a bookstore. Being in a literature-focussed family I was used to having and reading many picture books on my shelves. Of all the stories, none compared to that of Pinocchio. I wanted to read this book every day and night, and over years I drew and painted a plethora of Pinocchio-themed art, and even named my two favorite dolls Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket! I never lost my connection to this story. One of the lessons in it – that our body’s messages are never in truth ‘curse’, but instead can be blessings that help us return to truth – is something that I have finally come to understand.

Earlier this year I heard Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine, mention the story of Pinocchio and I started to feel that for me it was a story full of whole truths, and this brought me to tears. Of course! How much sense it made that as a young child I had so strongly aligned to this story – a story that talked about returning and choosing to be who we truly are; a story about taking responsibility and about how our choices transform our lives and those around us; about a person whose body would give him a big message via his nose growing when he was not being honest…   Continue reading “Lessons on Healing and Truth from Pinocchio”

Every Beautiful Woman

by Dr Lyndy Summerhaze, Crabbes Creek, NSW Australia

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago. I was window-shopping outside a jewellers / china shop. There were so many beautiful and colourful objects there, but when I looked at each individual item – there were actually none that I wanted. As I was leaving, I saw a life-size cardboard cut-out of a fashion model standing there – I didn’t want that either. So I walked away from it all, down the street.

As I was walking, in the dream, I remembered something Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine, had said to us some years ago whilst demonstrating a healing modality – the Energetic Facial Release. For those who may not be familiar with this healing technique, it is a release that can help deal with and clear emotions we hold within our face, such as sadness, frustration etc. It can rejuvenate the face to reveal a person’s natural radiant beauty, and can also have a profound healing effect on the whole body. What Serge said were words to the effect of – there is not one woman in the world who isn’t beautiful when connected to herself. Continue reading “Every Beautiful Woman”

Reflections on Women’s Health

Sara Williams’ seminal text on the state of Women’s Health.

In this article practitioner Sara Williams explores the state of Women’s Health through personal experience interwoven with historical references. Her reflections reveal the limited ways in which we have previously viewed this important aspect of our lives and documents an Esoteric perspective which may just herald a turning of the tide, the beginning of a new chapter in Women’s Health internationally.

by Sara Williams – International Co-ordinator for the Esoteric Breast Massage – Healing Modality / UK


Few would argue we have come a long way since the first female doctor of the modern era graduated from a medical school in 1849 (US). The concept of women’s health has come a long way in the last 50 years alone, as we witness more books published, more female voices on women’s health heard, more research conducted – with an expanded awareness in the field of Gynaecology and diseases such as breast and cervical cancers, less medicalisation, more humanising of women’s experience of medical care and more female medical professionals, including the first female dean of a major medical school in the US (albeit only in 2007). Continue reading “Reflections on Women’s Health”