HOT HOT Flushes – Embracing Menopause

by Bina Pattel, Age 51, London UK

What are hot flushes, who gets them and why?

I was out there looking for something – anything to take away what I thought was the worst thing ever, and to top it all off, they just didn’t stop.

My hot flushes have been around for about 3 years now. At first, I was convinced they would be gone in a few months; I noticed how much I reacted to them and this made it worse. Well, they are still around and how I react to them has changed for sure.

Stripping off my clothes and creating a drama got a bit boring as they were happening a lot and my laundry room was full of washing! Now I have accepted them as a part of my life. Wearing layers and never covering my neck with a scarf helps, especially on public transport.

I went to the GP who told me that HRT (hormone replacement therapy) is given in the form of a pill to suppress the hot flushes.  However, once I stopped taking them, the hot flushes would come back. The GP thought there was no point as she felt I was “managing” them well. I could not understand why any woman would want to delay something like this for a later date – better out than in, I say!

So the extent of my understanding was: we get hot flushes when our menstrual cycle stops and we go into the menopausal cycle. No more ovulation and bleeding every month. This can happen at any time, but generally in a woman’s late 40’s and over. But none of the above really got to the deeper meaning for me.

I wanted to get an understanding as to why these hot flushes were getting worse and weren’t going away!

So I remained open, and with the clarity and understanding I got from attending the Esoteric Developer’s Women’s Group – a monthly forum that made sense, I learned that: How I live as a woman on a daily basis DOES have an impact on my body. Well, this was revelation for me, to say the least.

Let’s rewind and laser this: THE WORD ‘WOMAN’ USED TO MAKE ME CRINGE.

I just preferred the last 3 letters and to hang out like I was a man. I remember being in meetings with a short skirt on and 400+ men. This was the norm for me… I Wanted To Prove That A Woman Can Do What A Man Can Do. This was the goal and this was the drive. Ugly but true.  At no point did I ever consider that my periods were getting very heavy and painful because my body was out of its natural rhythm. I carried on seeking solutions to keep going but without changing anything on the inside.

Words like STOP, REST, AND TAKE TIME OUT were for women who wanted to pamper and pander – definitely not for me.

Fast forward to 2008 – I had a tumour and hysterectomy. Even my surgeon emphasized I needed to stop now and really get some deep rest. But little did he know it would take over a year out of my life and that the pain was going to get worse until I really got to the Truth of why this happened. And no-one warned me about these super Hot Hot flushes.

To top it all off, my mum told me the other day (she is 73) that she still gets hot flushes. No surprise there, as my earlier years were just the same as hers – you keep working and never stop, you just work even more and keep pushing.

SO WHAT HAS CHANGED?  

Although conventional medicine can tell us what is happening in the body during a hot flush, it has not really presented the deeper answer as to why women get hot flushes. However, I feel I can say that I know without any doubt why my hot flushes continue based on how I have lived my life and the effects that has had on my body. The understandings of esoteric medicine and my personal life experiences have re-awakened this inner knowing.

The way I lived my life in total disregard to my body and myself as a woman is the core reason.  Living a very trashy life, not listening to my feelings and numbing myself with alcohol, lots of sugary foods, working hard with very little sleep, was the extent of my neglect of my body.

Today I can see clearly that the hot flushes are there for my body to come back into a natural balance from all the past un-natural way of living. 

I had too much motion/activity inside my body and now the adjustment with stillness is needed; I appreciate this.

When a hot flush comes on now (usually every few hours) I don’t react but instead have an understanding why they come on, and this has made a huge difference.  In fact, they really don’t bother me and I talk openly about them, as my face and neck are usually dripping – you would have to be Blind Freddy to not see it !

This blog may not be for you but if you know any young woman who is “on the go” so to speak, and keeps herself in a lot of motion and not stopping, then send this to her.

My tip for any woman is take time out daily to Stop. Truly stop. Make it a part of your daily routine so that you can begin to develop a connection with your body. Your body will always tell you what is really going on. This way you can feel and if you go with the feeling, you just can’t go wrong.

In Truth, we all have a natural rhythm and flow in our bodies. For me, it took a lot of pain to eventually stop and get to what now feels like a really great way to live every day and be free of pain.

This leads me to my next blog – The Full Moon cycle. Watch this space!

202 thoughts on “HOT HOT Flushes – Embracing Menopause

  1. “Your body will always tell you what is really going on.” Learning to read the messages that our body is communicating is a missing link in our education system.

  2. I love your tip ‘My tip for any woman is take time out daily to Stop. Truly stop. Make it a part of your daily routine so that you can begin to develop a connection with your body. Your body will always tell you what is really going on. This way you can feel and if you go with the feeling, you just can’t go wrong.’ and also love this discussion about what does being a woman feel like to .. to women! and also talking about hot flushes .. as similar to periods I never used to know that how we live our lives, our month etc, our periods/hot flushes are a reflection of this; until this was presented by Founder of Esoteric Women’s Health and Our Cycles App Natalie Benhayon. Like this should be really key information that all women and girls should know and have.

  3. I agree with the comment of ‘better out than in’ in reference to suppressing hot flushes with HRT. This highlights a fundamental awareness that is missing for most menopausal women. We don’t see hot flushes as something that is drawing out disharmony from the body, as a period clears the body each month. If we did see it as a healing, we might welcome them more and look at what we can do to support the healing they offer.

  4. Great blog Bina, you make it very clear why women get hot flushes and to me this makes absolute sense. Wanting to compete with men, proving we are as good as them if not better and pushing our bodies and harden ourselves to achieve this is totally against how a woman is meant to be, and when we work against the body no different to when we get sick, the body has to release the excess in what ever way it can.

  5. I love this approach very understanding for yourself – I will apply to my addictions — “When a hot flush comes on now (usually every few hours) I don’t react but instead have an understanding why they come on, and this has made a huge difference.” and listen to my body “Your body will always tell you what is really going on. This way you can feel and if you go with the feeling, you just can’t go wrong.”

  6. I agree, our body can teach us so much ,we just have to choose to connect with it and heed its wisdom, ‘Make it a part of your daily routine so that you can begin to develop a connection with your body. Your body will always tell you what is really going on. This way you can feel and if you go with the feeling, you just can’t go wrong.’

  7. I love reading the many different experiences women have with menopause. Like any other cycle in life it is a very personal unfolding that is for each woman to feel.

  8. I love your tip Bina, for every woman to take the time daily to truly stop and re-connect with the body. It is from this connection that we can feel how to move in rhythm and respect of the body.

  9. By embracing each cycle of life as we enter it, allows for the wisdom of the cycle we are under to imbue our body and expand our awareness. This in turn facilitates and supports us to live and express in full the universal wisdom of the cycle we are currently being governed by.

    1. I love what you write here Elizabeth, when we understand that life works in cycles and not the linear way we approach life at present, then it makes sense that the menopause is a cycle, just as having periods is a cycle, and we can make a choice to embody the cycle we are under or resist it and all the wisdom that comes with it. So to me it makes sense to fully embody and embrace each cycle we are under and enjoy its natural evolutionary path

  10. Thank you for sharing your journey with embracing menopause and your understanding of how your behaviour over the years has led to your ongoing hot flushes. It has never made sense to me to use medication to mask symptoms but without the knowing of why something is happening to us it is challenging to make the necessary changes. I have been gradually becoming more self loving over several years but can still default back to past behaviours – the difference is that the communication lines with my body are much clearer and so there is much less build up to clear when for example I drive my body to complete something when all the indications are that rest is what is needed.

  11. “In Truth, we all have a natural rhythm and flow in our bodies. For me, it took a lot of pain to eventually stop and get to what now feels like a really great way to live every day and be free of pain ” . . . yes I can relate to this. When I went through menopause many years ago now I didn’t suffer from hot flushes, in fact I never had one, but what I had was migraines, just a different flavour of pain and discomfort. It was my years of frustration at putting everyone else’s needs before my own catching up with me and my body was screaming “no more” in no uncertain terms.

  12. It is important for us to have a connection with our bodies so we can feel what is going on at all times, and then to listen to, and honour those feelings.

  13. There is no doubt in my mind that what is shared here is true. Hot flushes to me are essentially a gift. They allow me to release, very quickly a poison that I have allowed to enter my body. Be that through a self diminishing thought, a reaction to something, a need to defend or a lessening of my power. There is deep appreciation here. As the less I allow these old behaviors or thoughts, the less I experience the hot flushes.

  14. I like the word embracing in the title. We women learn to stand strong and make our way in life, which feels vey much like a fight to me. And the word embracing invites us to simply surrender to the natural rhythm of our bodies, inviting us to be and see and understand.

  15. How brilliant it is that we have a body that we inhabit, and in this case those of us in a woman’s body, and, yet how deep do we build a relationship with our body? How much do we learn the language of our own body and get a feel for why it has the sensations, aches, pains, hot flushes etc and what it is telling us? After all – these are purely ‘love letters’ from our body – they are not meant to be punitive.

    A couple of years ago I went through menopause having been peri-menopausal for 10 years. I had hot flushes twice, and have in the last year had blood tests for oestrogen, and other hormonal imbalances which have now balanced out. My body feels steadier than it has for a long time, due to the deeper level of care and attention, and honouring I give myself in life, and due to paying attention to what my body says.

    Rewind 20+ years and you would have found me with endometriosis, chronically excruciating periods, and living in the fast lane with no time to even pee, let alone to breath – paying no regard for my body – but being forever resentful at the aches and pains etc.

    Our health is in our hands, as is our wellbeing – and it is never too late to turn it around. The difference for me from 20+ years ago and now is palpable.And I could never have done it without beginning to build a relationship with my body.

  16. Really valuable presentation Bina, ‘Today I can see clearly that the hot flushes are there for my body to come back into a natural balance from all the past un-natural way of living.’ A lovely opportunity to make different choices and once again be in sync with our natural way of being.

  17. “When a hot flush comes on now (usually every few hours) I don’t react but instead have an understanding why they come on, and this has made a huge difference.” Wise words. Stop and feel – allow your body to feel. When I try to understand it becomes thinking and not feeling. Stopping opens me up to my body that can surrender. The more I do it the more confident I become.

  18. I love your tips Bina. Stopping and connecting to our bodies is really all we have to do as our body will tell us what we need.

  19. “How I live as a woman on a daily basis DOES have an impact on my body.” A call from our body to stop and appreciate all it means to be a woman.

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