Sixty (four), sassy & sexy (last one took a while)

I was born a woman, yet I had no idea what it truly meant to be a woman.  

I never even questioned it.  

Honouring myself was not ever considered, and with no reflection in my life from the family or school friends that there could be another way to be and live, I merrily walked a path of general disregard.  

As far as I was concerned, words like precious, tender, delicate and cherishing were for women who were weak and lacked drive. 

In fact, what was reflected to me was the opposite: that having drive and pushing my body was the acceptable norm. The hardness in my body was palpable and showed in everything I did. 

Through Universal Medicine I started to really consider and become more aware of my body. I could actually feel the things I was doing that were causing me pain. A lot of physical work with horses, and caring more about horses than I did about myself, had a detrimental impact on my delicate and sensitive body.  

As things changed within me, and I took greater care of myself, I recognised that my relationship with the horses had to change.  

I had to stop putting horses before myself.  

The horses went to a retirement home and that gave me a moment to stop and feel what I was doing to my body and how unsupportive horses first, I second, was. This had a knock-on effect on everything that I did, as well as on all life’s chambers; my relationships, my work and my family. 

It was a progressive thing: the more I let go of the hardness, the more aware I became of how I was living and the effects this had in every part of my life. It gave me the space to be more caring of myself, and to start to let go of the hardness and protection that I had used to get through life.  

The change in me enabled me to come to an even bigger realization, which is that over the years, and I mean thousands of years, we women have lost our way with regard to knowing who we are and what it actually means to be a woman.  

I registered how much we have let go of the principles and innate understanding of our true purpose in life. This purpose has always been about honouring our deep knowing of life in every way, living this innate knowing with understanding and respect for everything around us.  

Women also knew what the word Sacredness meant: a level of standard in every area of their lives that were commanded by the purity of their bodies, an inborn knowing from which they would live their lives and hold themselves in, unreservedly, unapologetically and unwaveringly so. They had an innate knowing of what was true for them. 

This is a far cry from how many women live today; dishonouring their body, pushing it to extremes and not listening to the messages that are naturally within. Qualities such as being fragile, sensitive, gentle, caring and loving, that should be our norm, are sadly not so frequently exhibited. Instead… 

  • we have made the ‘to-do list’ more important than how we treasure and look after our bodies. 
  • we care for everyone around us, but can be in total disregard to our body and to the detriment of our own health and wellbeing.  
  • we are all too accepting of what we know is not true, and rather than going within, we try to figure out who we are by looking outside ourselves through books or magazines, TV, social media and a whole myriad of advertising and external sources.  

We have moved so far away from what we are meant to be reflecting to the world – a woman in her livingness is a woman who lives from her inner heart, knows what is true for her and does not compromise her body or her health to please others. A woman living in this way inspires both men and women that there is a way to be that is loving, caring and true to oneself.  

When a woman is in her livingness, in other words, living who she truly is, there is a beauty, radiance and acceptance, that can’t be bought or shown to us by any media publication. It is something that is felt deep within and awakes every cell in another womanly body that says you too know this, you have this in you too.  

Accepting myself as a woman and learning what this means, has been a long journey and is a constant learning. It never stops because there is always another level to learn about myself, to connect more deeply to my innate tenderness and fragility and to re-learn to live from who I truly am: a delicate and precious woman which allows others to feel this too. 

There is true power, wisdom and purpose when we connect to our qualities and commit to making these the foundation for how we live in every moment of our day. 

Alison Valentine: a woman in her livingness

By Alison Valentine, UK; A super caring woman with a cheeky smile and a radar for truth, a wanna be Aston Martin driver on a shoe string budget and a countryside connoisseur of nature with the sky and the stars deeply in her heart.

For further inspiration… 

If you are rarely satisfied with how you look, you are one of many. But one woman shares her account on reversing that trend.

What happens when you meet a true female role model & you learn how amazing it is to return to the woman you always knew you were..

A Successful Woman

Attending a women’s group has been a great support and valuable learning for me; it is something I cherish and look forward to. Just before the last women’s group, I came across some old notes that I had written from a women’s group a few years back. On the top of the page I had written a question: what does it feel like to be a successful woman?  Continue reading “A Successful Woman”

The Choice to Appreciate and Self-Nourish

I recently attended an Esoteric ‘Well-being for Women’ group. These groups run worldwide and are designed to support women to re-connect to what we know to be true and to live from this quality in everyday life. We discussed something that is often considered the ‘norm’: the thoughts we allow, that can become an inner conversation. 

Does this support or hinder us and why do we allow it?

Continue reading “The Choice to Appreciate and Self-Nourish”

Dishonouring Choices, Self-Worth and Their Impact on Everyday Life

Millions of women are affected world-wide by a lack of self-worth – it is our modern-day plague. This lack of self-worth is one of the underlying reasons why many women make so many choices every day which are not only dishonouring of themselves, but can be deeply abusive; further cementing the false beliefs and negative self-talk that we are not worthy of love for ourselves or of being loved by others too. So, we could say that this is a critical topic to bring our attention and discussion to.

Continue reading “Dishonouring Choices, Self-Worth and Their Impact on Everyday Life”

Women – is There More of Us to Appreciate?

In a recent conversation with a female friend we were sharing our appreciation of another. This may sound like a normal, everyday thing to do, however there was something quite spectacular and revelatory about our conversation…

As we shared and reflected about this person we discovered that there was even more to appreciate. This person was making an ever-growing amount of choices in their life that were supporting them to feel (in their own words) more like themselves than ever before.

Continue reading “Women – is There More of Us to Appreciate?”

My Underwear Story – from Practical to Pretty!

As a child growing up there was not a lot of money coming into our household so I would wear hand me downs that my mother altered to fit me, and as for underwear, it was plain and practical.

Our home life was not a happy one in any way. I lived for the day that my father would finally see me for who I was, or even talk with me. There was never any sharing or chatting with each other, and as children my sister and I only seemed to be spoken to when we were judged to be in trouble. Even Mum and Dad very seldom spoke to each other. At school the children used to chatter away to each other, but for me I was always on the outside thinking that ‘no one wanted to hear what I had to say’, and my self confidence and self worth slowly diminished every day.

Continue reading “My Underwear Story – from Practical to Pretty!”

Feeling Amazing – it’s our Choice!

I recently participated in a 6 week Esoteric Yoga Program for Women at a significant point in my life – towards the end of my last pregnancy. I was blown away by all that the program unveiled for me, and the offer to go deeper to appreciate the amazingly powerful woman that I am. I noticed as I progressed through the program I was connecting more with an inner stillness.

This supported me to be more lovingly attentive and remain steady through each day and as situations came up.

The following is just one example of a situation that came up while on the program and what was revealed to me about making a choice to feel amazing.  

Continue reading “Feeling Amazing – it’s our Choice!”

A Woman’s True Beauty: The Strength in Fragility

Women – Are we living in a man’s world? We all know about boys having to be tough – “Boys don’t cry”, boys get given toys to confirm their future roles – trucks, footballs, fiction-hero’s, games of war….

We women may feel that we have to compete in this competitive male world, and many of us have tried to create an even playing field in our pursuit of equality for women – with the fight for the right to work, equal pay in the workforce, day-care for young children, female cricket and footy teams, promotions, baby bonuses and more. At the same time we have found ourselves often comparing with each other with regard to academic achievement, ideals of beauty, having more money or a successful career, being in relationships versus being single, and having kids.

Have we lost the precious qualities of true beauty and fragility in this battle for equality and respect?

Continue reading “A Woman’s True Beauty: The Strength in Fragility”

Discovering I have Ovaries and a Cervix

I first contemplated the possibility that I could have a connection with my own ovaries and cervix after I heard Natalie Benhayon present, and say as women we did not have to try to feel our ovaries, as we were women and we all have them!

So I started exploring if I could feel my ovaries. Initially, I began with just having a sense of where my ovaries were physically, putting my palms on them and just paying attention to the area. I did this five or six times a day for a couple of weeks.
Continue reading “Discovering I have Ovaries and a Cervix”

Menopause, Motherhood and Ageing: Discarding the Ideals and Discovering True Beauty

I recently became aware how the ideals of motherhood and related beliefs have an enormous longevity and persistence in women and girls of all ages, and can even affect how we enter and experience menopause.

I have observed girls and women from ages 12 to 50 make the possibility and reality of motherhood the focus of their lives: their sole purpose of being a woman. The number of women seeking fertility treatments has skyrocketed over the last two decades as the desire, and often desperation, to have a child kicks in, with the promise of motherhood and a complete family. In truth, and perhaps, surprisingly, this motherhood ideal continues after menopause.

Continue reading “Menopause, Motherhood and Ageing: Discarding the Ideals and Discovering True Beauty”