As a child growing up there was not a lot of money coming into our household so I would wear hand me downs that my mother altered to fit me, and as for underwear, it was plain and practical.
Our home life was not a happy one in any way. I lived for the day that my father would finally see me for who I was, or even talk with me. There was never any sharing or chatting with each other, and as children my sister and I only seemed to be spoken to when we were judged to be in trouble. Even Mum and Dad very seldom spoke to each other. At school the children used to chatter away to each other, but for me I was always on the outside thinking that ‘no one wanted to hear what I had to say’, and my self confidence and self worth slowly diminished every day.
Mum knew how unhappy I was and got me away from home after I turned 16 years of age to stay with my aunty, then she and my younger sister followed 12 months later. In those days when a woman left her marriage she was not entitled to any share of the marital home, plus there was no government support or benefits in any way. Mum then had to find a housekeeping job where she could live-in so as to have my younger sister live with her while she finished school. There was very little money for anything extra after food, especially not for clothes and definitely not for underwear. Everything we wore was simple, and practical, usually second-hand, and definitely not pretty.
When I started work at 17 years of age I did not have nice clothes like other girls and I always felt so embarrassed, but in time I gradually saved up enough money to buy the cheapest clothes for sale at the local department store.
At that time it was so wonderful to be able to buy myself something new to wear, but it was still plain and practical.
Well this probably doesn’t sound very exciting at all, as we women always need to buy underwear, clothes and shoes, but for me it was. As I had never learned to communicate with anyone to get any advice about anything, including clothes and other personal items, I just did the best I could with the little money I was receiving each fortnight.
I got married at 21 and the struggles of having very little money continued. I used to make clothes for my three children and me unless I could find something second-hand, often having to alter them before they could be worn. I used to make sure my children were clothed first and I would get what was left over.
When my marriage ended 40 years later my self esteem and confidence was non-existent, even more so as the marriage had not been happy, and at times very abusive, so I did not think that I deserved to have nice things. I always thought that lovely underwear and lovely clothes were for other women, not me. Having the plain, old fashioned, practical sort had become my normal as a child and had continued to be so as the years went by.
Two years after my marriage ended I was shopping with a friend when she suddenly stopped outside a beautiful lingerie shop and said,
“COME ON IN HERE, TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO BUY YOUR SELF SOME NICE UNDERWEAR!!”
‘Oh dear’ I thought, me having pretty underwear, that is for other women. But she persisted and in we went. I was feeling totally out of my depth and bewildered, just wanting to turn around and walk out, but as my friend was so persistent I chose to stay and let her help me sort out some very pretty looking underwear.
It probably sounds silly but after I paid for them I burst into tears, as in my 64 years, I had never had anything so beautiful.
Buying beautiful underwear continued from that day but my every day clothes were still plain and rather boring. A few years later another friend looked closely at me and what I was wearing, and said “You are not an old woman” – I was in my mid 70’s at the time! – “You need to get out of your old woman’s fashion and get into more modern clothes.” As we both worked at an ‘Op’ shop (secondhand opportunity shop) she would go along a rack and she would pull something out. My immediate response would be, “Oh I can’t wear that.”, but her reply would be “TRY IT”. When I did, gosh it did look nice and sometimes I even managed a wow; she definitely knew what suited me.
This was the beginning of a whole new way of dressing for me and over a period of time I have been able to gradually update my clothing. I have loved throwing out the old and replacing it with something new – in fact, now I love opening my wardrobe door to be greeted by my wonderful and colourful clothes; but not only do they look beautiful in my wardrobe, they look and feel beautiful on me as well, and as for my underwear drawer, I love opening that too.
These days when I look in the mirror I can finally see the beautiful woman who is smiling back at me. For most of my life I used to hide behind an artificial smile, some people used to say that I was always smiling, but I really wasn’t, I was hiding my pain. Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!
So for women who do not know, or think that they do not deserve pretty underwear, just know that YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.
Over the last 10 years, thanks to the presentations and support of Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, I have come to know that I am an amazing and beautiful woman. I am now feeling so much better about my body than I have ever done, and at 86 I can honestly say that this is the best I have ever felt in my life; and I’m still wearing pretty underwear!
By Dorothy Carlile, aged 86, Tauranga, New Zealand
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Huge huge respect to you Dorothy you are more than inspiring.
Dorothy you are magnificent! Really you are incredible and I feel very inspired by what you have written here. Thank you Dorothy.
Crazy how as children we rarely consider what goes on in other people’s homes. Our society has taught us to see with our eyes & never question what goes on behind closed doors. As a result, we see a child who doesn’t fit the picture & tease, bully & abuse them. However, if we opened up our eyes to see that things at home may be different & difficult for them, our approach may also be different.
Beautiful to re-read this post. “This was the beginning of a whole new way of dressing for me and over a period of time I have been able to gradually update my clothing.” So we are never too old to buy beautiful things for ourselves……
Self-acceptance and self-appreciation is not a mind thing, it is a surrendering to the body, an allowing of what is already there, it is a response and acknowledgment of the grandness already there.
Dorothy it is so gorgeous to hear after all these years you can see and appreciate the absolute beauty of who you are ✨❤️
When we buy things that truly honour us we are actually saying yes to Gods love.
Dorothy what you show to us all is that it is never too late to start to appreciate how beautiful we are and that we are worth so much more than we allow ourselves to feel.
“My Underwear Story – from Practical to Pretty!” – there is nothing more deflating than making something that can otherwise be beautiful or pretty into something that’s purely functional.
To know that we can find our beauty are any age is precious and reading this blog today Dorothy brought great joy as I can feel your joy in finding you and your beauty, underwear and all, and sharing that with all of us – thank you.
I was so inspired by this very practical blog by Dorothy, that I reorganised my underwear drawer, throwing out the ones I had been hanging on to for way too long – those saggy ones – and replaced them with some new, very pretty and lacy ones. These days it is a joy to open this drawer as it is one drawer that reminds me of the beautiful and very appreciated woman I am.
Yes, its great to have a clear-out of old things that really no longer belong in our lives – and to replace them with beautiful articles.
This is a gorgeous sharing Dorothy. Every women definitely deserves beautiful clothes to express the beauty they naturally are.
I am big on matching underwear and it also needs to feel amazing and look great. I wear it to support me and my body, a celebration. I love this article and I love the celebration in it.
When we stop minimising what we bring in life when living in connection and bring attention and appreciation to our qualities our inner beauty is allowed to shine.
Pretty and delicate underwear, beautiful clothes supports us to confirm the delicateness and the beauty we are on the inside, just like your smile is like a testimonial for everything you live from the inside out.
Appreciation for ourselves, who we are what we bring, the curves we have is so essential, we are not brought up to do this but we feel lacking and not complete if we do not learn to do this.
It has taken well into my 60’s, but finally I have come to truly appreciate my curves and no longer hide them under layers of loose clothing. And I have found, that the more I appreciate me the more I love to show my curves to the world; what a long-time coming, turn around in my life, this has been.
Beautiful I can feel the lived acceptance and appreciation in your words. Our beauty shines from within and our curves and natural shapes express something to be shared not hidden by distorting ourselves with energetic choices, emotions, food or ill fitting clothes…it is also something that I am walking, back to accepting the power that is there to be lived as a woman.
These words brought the biggest smile to my face, a smile that bubbled up from the inside carried on the truth that was being presented. “Love really can turn any situation around.” So very, very true and Dorothy definitely shows how this is absolutely possible, at any age. We don’t have to stay stuck in a love-less life; that can all change if we make our next choice a loving one.
“Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!” I can remember thinking that plain and boring underwear was sensible as no one saw it, but now I realise that wearing beautiful and delicate underwear is a foundation of how I feel about myself.
Yes Mary it feels very lovely to be wearing something so pretty just for yourself.
Yes, it makes such a difference when we wear beautiful underwear. No-one else can see it but I feel special when i do so – more sexy and feminine.
Turn around at any age is the joy of the wisdom we can all tap in to.
This is great to hear that you now accept your beauty and is worth celebrating, ‘thanks to the presentations and support of Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, I have come to know that I am an amazing and beautiful woman.’
Very inspiring. To hjde our light under a bushel, as my father used to say, does no one any favours. Thank you for sharing this gorgeous photo of a sparkling eyed and vibrant woman with clothes to echo her aliveness.
Dorothy I love how you have gone from practical to pretty with your underwear, it’s a beautiful way to confirm and appreciate yourself – I am feeling inspired to buy some more for myself.
Dorothy this is such a joy to read, it’s very heartwarming because you have shared all of who you are in the blog, and it’s easy to feel how very loveable you are! You’ve also given me more inspiration to look at how I also may hold back from buying pretty underwear. I currently have upgraded all my bras and they are lovely to look at, but I haven’t really allowed myself pretty underwear and not anything that matches my bras. It’s wonderful to do these things, and also for the love of ourselves.
It is so beautiful to confirm our delicacy in the clothes and underwear that we wear.
“thanks to the presentations and support of Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, I have come to know that I am an amazing and beautiful woman.” This is so true and so many women are starting to feel the same too and know i am. Inspirational and a joy to read and appreciate beautiful underwear and all it is really reflecting in the honouring of ourselves.
I agree an amazing testimony to self appreciation and the inspiration of being open to the inspiration of others who have walked the path back to self love.
I recently brought some really pretty and delicate knickers and when I came to place them in my underwear drawer Dorothy, I thought of you and this very inspirational blog. They looked so lovely sitting in my drawer, a stark contrast to the days of very plain and boring knickers that were simply for wearing and definitely not for appreciating, both in the drawer and when I put them on. So, thank you once again Dorothy for the inspirational woman that you are.
Totally inspiring Dorothy to feel how empowering it is to honor ourselves at every stage in our lives and that this just continues to deepen and enrichen our lives. And to see that it’s never too late to begin and ‘to continue.
Dorothy in a world where lack of self worth is everywhere you look it’s incredibly heart warming to read that at 86 you love being who you are more than ever, it’s ultimate proof that we can change how we feel about ourselves at any age.
It was lovely to read how you now have a fresh wardrobe of clothes and underwear that you really love, and what a difference it makes to how you feel.
How awesome at age 86 to be feeling more beautiful and lovely than you ever have done before in your life. This totally turns all our preconceptions and judgments about ageing on their head, as you’ve shown that our relationship with growing older can be a very beautiful unfolding, and not the miserable process that it is so often made out to be and that we have products to try to stop or escape from.
‘My immediate response would be, “Oh I can’t wear that.”, but her reply would be “TRY IT”. When I did, gosh it did look nice and sometimes I even managed a wow’ Beautiful to confirm who you are with clothes that match your beauty beauty and what a lovely support of your friends, inspiring you to appreciate what you saw/see in the mirror.
There is nothing better than the days when my underwear and bra match – not because anyone else will see them but simple for that moment in the morning of feeling beautiful and confident in myself as i get dressed
‘Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!’ We know beauty comes from within and seeing your sweet face and the sparkle in your eyes on the picture no doubt your smile comes from deep inside and what you are wearing including your underwear is confirming your amazing beauty, thank you so much for sharing Dorothy, you are a role model for ageing women.
Dorothy, I can so relate to the artificial smile, the one that you painted on whenever you went out, and the one that was so exhausting to keep up. I can remember that it actually hurt my face and now I realise the whole of my body was suffering too from the endless pretence that everything was just fine. It is clear to see from your photo that your smile now comes from deep within and twinkles out of your eyes; there’s definitely nothing artificial about it in any way.
I get the sense Dorothy, that even in your “plain and practical” clothes, you were still lovely. And I expect that everyone around you could feel this too.
Shami, a gorgeous and pertinent observation! Dorothy, how glorious, therefore that you can now feel, savour and appreciate everything about yourself that others have always seen and loved in you.
“I only seemed to be spoken to when we were judged to be in trouble. Even Mum and Dad very seldom spoke to each other”. This reminds me of a discussion we had at a women in livingness event presented with Annette and Gabe. We were asked to look at our role models and the messages we received a s kids about intimacy – meaning how warm, loving and caring interactions were between people. The relationship described here would set the woman up to be shut down, non-expressive, even though that is her true nature. It just shows me how important it is to be role modelling intimacy everywhere, for all the people who have also grown up with various versions of this way of relating.
It is a wonderful way to express love for ourselves by buying ourselves gorgeous beautiful things to wear that feel lovely on the skin. When we wear them we feel the appreciation of a special purchase that was just for us.
So gorgeous to read Dorothy thank you for sharing your life’s experience, age is no limit to finding the beauty of who we are and letting that shine through as your photo definitely shows.
Yesterday I saw a frail elderly lady sitting on a bench in the supermarket applying red lip stick. What a gorgeous confirmation that the celebration of beauty we all hold is ageless.
My underwear story – from not love to love.
Age is just a number and is no barrier to wearing beautiful clothes to feel and express the innate beauty of who you are.
Yes, we can express beauty and even power at any age including with our clothes.
It’s beautiful having friends that encourage and inspire you to truly honour and cherish yourself and your expression more.
Never is it too late to bring more care and love in every angle of our life.
Well said Inma and never does it have to stop in our deepening of living this way.
‘These days when I look in the mirror I can finally see the beautiful woman who is smiling back at me.’ How wonderful being able to see you beautiful Dorothy. Not so many men and women in this world feels content with themselves but you shows how this is possible. It is very real and has nothing to do with fit in the perfect picture of what a woman should look like. It comes from within and I feel very greatful for the support that I receive everyday from Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon who reminds me this absolut fact.
Such a gorgeous sharing to read Dorothy. By reading you I got inspired to bring more love in to my wardrobe. These days I found myself wearing something practical but without caring and loving myself so much. As you said we are very beautiful from inside out and we deserve honouring this fact by appreciating deeply ourselves. Thanks for inviting me to celebrate who I am by bringing more light and playfullness not just in the way I clothe myself but how I live in every moment of my day.
We have so very much to appreciate, I have found that when we appreciate we keep things real, we are less likely to live in delusion or lose ourselves in our own spin if we appreciate the simple daily things that life brings.
Reading your great blog again Dorothy, after reading another great blog on ‘Frugality’ recently has made me realise how many of pr generation were in some way affected by the climate of post World War II. It was the end of the depression and in some places there were even coupons being still used. So the frugality and practicality thing did have a ‘necessity’ about it at some level. But I can feel reading these blogs that there was something even stronger, a consciousness that glued itself nicely to these circumstances to make a whole religion of it! It is so good to become aware of this and move out of it.
Buying beautiful underwear can be very connected to self-worth and to let yourself feel that you are that delicate, beautiful and worth it can bring up tears. I have been buying beautiful lingerie lately and it feels fabulous as a woman to step out of the plain and practical mode I have been in most of my life.
Matching, beautiful and supportive with no hard bits pushing in, that show I like to wear underwear, it feels great to be prepared and cared for on all levels, it is not about what people see, but how I feel. I love what you share in this article.
Just love how you finally claimed the gorgeous woman that you are and in the process I am sure that you have inspired many other women to know that it is never too late to make such self-loving and self-honouring changes in their lives.
Exactly, Dorothy is a role model for us all of how to be ‘old’. We can choose at any age to be more caring and loving for ourselves regardless of what we have ‘picked up’ along the way.
I really love this story, I think my grandmother would have related to it growing up and then raising kids in similar times. You can feel the preciousness and sacredness that you have come to feel in yourself and know that you are worth.
Thank you for sharing Dorothy , what lovely friends you have.
I agree John…Love how they encouraged Dorothy to buy new lovely clothes for her. It felt very supportive to read and brought me to appreciate the people in my life who see me as the precious woman I am.
We do not have any issues. If we do they has been created and brought into our lives through our choice even when we are children. I can relate to not being heard as a child and this became very evident recently when at the age of 47 I spoke and felt ignored, dismissed and energetically imposed upon. It brought back memories of when I was a child but it didn’t stop me from speaking up. I did feel some reaction in my body but I couldn’t help but feel appreciation for allowing myself to sense what was actually going on in the moment and begin to make loving movements towards myself as a woman. I can only build on from that offering to learn and deepen my understanding of myself and others from the reflection in that moment that was constellated so beautifully.
I have in the last couple of years or so begun to buy myself not only gorgeous underwear, but very comfortable. I was in the sensible undies brigade, which meant that what I bought was pretty basic. I still like my sensible undies, those that feel super comfortable to wear, but I now buy undies with a bit of lace, gorgeous colours and really soft material. No elastic rubbing in sight!! I feel that my choice in underwear now is a confirmation for how I feel about myself – lovely gorgeous and sexy. Rather than the underwear making me feel that way.
I love re reading this blog Dorothy, I love just looking at your photo – it warms my heart to see such a beautiful self accepting claimed open women.
I can feel the joy you are sharing with us Dorothy, you show it is never too late to start enjoying life and celebrating the beautiful gorgeous elder that you are
I can easily remember the days of practical underwear brought for longevity and not because they looked pretty. I can also remember that clothes for the children came first, whether I brought, sewed or knitted them. I can also remember the day when I decided that it was time to start to buy pretty underwear, and since that day, like Dorothy, I love opening my underwear draw; the colours, the patterns and the delicate lace always makes me smile.
Dorothy, you inspire me. We are all so beautiful inside and the joy you experienced when you opened yourself up and shared with us in this blog has really inspired me to to take this to a deeper level in my own personal life and then to every aspect, because how can that not be shared?!
By you saying yes to your own worth you are allowing all women to also say yes, thank you for that Dorothy. It’s never about just us and what we think we can allow ourselves or not.
Dorothy this is just gorgeous to hear how you changed and embraced new underwear, new clothes and saw the beauty in you .. it blows any excuse out of the water that we are too old .. we never are, thank you for reminding me, and I love the picture of you, can’t believe you’re 86.
Dorothy, I just had to come back to your blog and gorgeous picture, as every time I do it makes my day.
I love rereading your words Dorothy. Definitely worth celebrating the loveliness of you.
Pretty gorgeous Dorothy! Outer or under wear – every thing we wear is an opportunity to shine.
Dorothy, your smile and your words make my heart sing each time I visit this page. The garments we wear either showcase our beauty or mask it. This is true right down to the underwear we choose to wear even though no one else sees it. It all is an expression either from our inner most self or the part of us that seeks to disguise it.
Whenever I am needing a little inspiration in my life I come back to this beautiful blog and it doesn’t take too long to feel the joy starting to rise. We often go through life taking so much of what we have for granted whereas others around us as struggling simply to make it through each day with the little they have. Dorothy, you show so clearly that it is never too late to say no to the way we have lived for a little or a long time and then make the choice to embrace the amazing life that is ours to naturally live.
“So for women who do not know, or think that they do not deserve pretty underwear, just know that YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.” What a wonderful front page this would be on a womans magazine Dorothy, along with your beautiful photograph! So inspiring for all woman, everywhere.
“…. at 86 I can honestly say that this is the best I have ever felt in my life; and I’m still wearing pretty underwear!.” And I bet not many 86 year olds can say that Dorothy! You are an inspiration.
Yes I agree, how many 86 year olds consider their underwear to be functional?! How many 36/46/56 year olds? the list is potentially endless …. tumbleweed moment!
I sometimes talk to people about their plans for a new car. I regularly find that there are much better cars available in their budget than they thought. I wonder if this is similar to Dorothy’s story in that we can often do much better than we think and make much more loving choices.
I so agree with you, Dorothy, the feeling of beautiful underwear is such a confirmation of the sacredness and beauty that is inside us. I just love the delicateness of the laces, colors, shapes and materials. Even though during the day no one can see it, I know what I am wearing in celebration of me.
What a gorgeous sharing. We are so worth it. Women can deeply celebrate their bodies and it helps us reflect to the world and confirm Withinh ourselves the strength and beauty we all carry.
This is such a delightful story of transformation and a strong reminder that it is never too late to appreciate our own inner beauty
“Over the last 10 years, thanks to the presentations and support of Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, I have come to know that I am an amazing and beautiful woman. I am now feeling so much better about my body than I have ever done, and at 86 I can honestly say that this is the best I have ever felt in my life; and I’m still wearing pretty underwear!” – Dorothy at age 86 years your commitment, evolving in self-love and self-possession is hugely inspiring — awesome too feeling your deep appreciation and love for Serge and Natalie and age being no barrier in receiving the joy of wisdom!
You are such an inspiration Dorothy! There are many out there walking in the shadows you once did living confined to the belief that they are are mother, daughter, wife etc and here you are at your age reflecting what a true woman can look like. A beautiful reflection indeed.
I always love reading this very inspirational blog as, once read I then head off to check out my underwear drawer. Right now, it’s a joy to open the drawer but a few weeks ago that was not the case as I had been putting off replacing some of my old knickers for way too long; did I not think that I deserved new ones? I will have to ponder on that.
I love the fact that your pretty underwear is being worn just for you, and just because you can. With no hidden agenda or manipulation towards anyone else. You being beautiful simply because you that is who you are.
My life story – from beautiful to beautiful and knowing it. Beautiful.
Dorothy, it is so beautiful to feel through your words that our true beauty never withers nor dies, it simply gets pushed to the side when we adopt garments that disguise it instead of showcasing it. In any moment at any age we have the power to turn this completely on its head as you have – totally inspiring, thank you.
It’s never too late to offer to ourselves the best. Yes, we deserve it. In fact, every moment is the right moment to start loving ourselves from inside out or viceversa!
What might have been a necessity at first can easily become a habit; furthermore, it might suit us to hide our beauty and innate preciousness – hiding becomes an old comfortable garment then and we will always find the clothing to match that posture, or does it find us? Irresistibly cheap and oh, so handy.
Those “artificial smiles” might convince others that we are always smiling but if we connect to ourselves it is so easy to feel the impact that they are having on our body.. There is of course the physical impact of the uncomfortableness behind the force to make the smile, but then inside, if we are honest with ourselves, we can feel the dishonesty behind it. In stark and glorious contrast, a smile from our inner-heart requires no effort as it is simply a true expression of the beautiful woman we are.
There is never a time when it is not a great time to wear pretty underwear, because it is so confirming of all of our sweet and beautiful qualities as women that we each can bring to the world – no matter our age or the path we have lived.
Dorothy, I just have to keep coming back to this gorgeous blog and look at your beautiful face, it lights me up every time.
Such a gorgeous sharing.. so many at this age are done with life and don’t have the urge to grow and learn and make changes, super inspiring to feel your openess to change.
Perhaps we are turning the corner as women when we regularly bring what is gorgeous and beautiful in to the practical elements of daily life.
A beautiful confirmation Dorothy of the love you and then honouring that love with the movements to match. Simply stunning thank you.
Yes I agree Kelly, a beautiful reminder for us all.
When you were in your 70’s and your friend mentioned about getting out of old lady fashion I don’t feel it’s our age that makes us ‘old’ or ‘young’ – nor is it the physical age of our bodies because I look at your picture and it is beautifully radiant and it doesn’t have that dull, heavy feeling that has been associated with ‘being old’. If anything your redefining what it means to be in ‘old age’ which is pretty cool and inspiring to the younger generations such as myself.
This is a beautiful sharing Dorothy and you are a great inspiration for young and old. You show us clearly that there is no age barrier on beauty and having lovely clothes to celebrate that beauty within and without!
Dorothy, it is an absolute delight to read your story and to know that it is possible for anyone, whatever their age to change the way they feel about themselves and then celebrate it with what they choose to wear, both on the outsdie and underneath their clothes! Its so inspiring, thank you.
You look gorgeous Dorothy, how amazing it is when we dress to celebrate the wonderful women we are – Super inspiring.
Thank you Dorothy , this is such an inspiring story , for people to know , one can always make the choice to re-connect with their beauty no matter how long they have lived . The beauty is always there waiting.
Simply gorgeous Dorothy, because your article is so simple (why do we imagine that things have to be so complicated) and because you are gorgeous.. as are we all if we just take a moment to feel what is innately there on the inside.
What we choose to wear from the very finest detail can have a huge effect on how we feel. Yesterday I got dressed in back pants and a pink top – a lovely outfit, but as i looked in the mirror I felt myself being dragged down. I knew i hadn’t dressed to support myself. I didn’t even have to think about it – I knew the colour and the outfit that was needed and when I changed I felt how that choice confirmed what I was feeling within me. It is so important to honour ourselves as women with how we dress – it can confirm how we are feeling and bring this out – or it can drag us down so that we feel less than how we are.
I know exactly what you mean Katerina. Earlier this week I was about to leave home and couldn’t until I had changed my socks. The ones I were wearing didn’t feel right and sure I could have left thinking they’ll be fine but I knew they were going to have an impact on how I was for the rest of the day. We know precisely what we need when we truly listen.
Still one of my favourite blogs that makes me smile in deep appreciation of not only it never being too late to stop and recognize your beauty and embrace it in full, but of the gorgeous people that come into our lives and support us to see and honour our gorgeousness when for whatever reason we haven’t been.
I love this sharing Dorothy, I am so pleased you found your way into that beautiful shop and bought yourself exactly what you deserved, there is nothing so lovely than really beautiful lace underwear.
I don’t know of many women in their 80’s who are such an inspiration as Dorothy is. The way she has turned her life around and now is feeling more alive that she has ever been certainly makes growing older not something to fear but to embrace.
“So for women who do not know, or think that they do not deserve pretty underwear, just know that YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.”
Telling it like it is Dorothy – Thank you -your amazing and I just love your inspiration.
Dorothy, your blog is deeply profound and shows that no matter where we’ve been, or what our age we can start anew and begin to deeply appreciate ourselves, and how and where that can lead is often surprising. I love that you had the perfect helpers turn up too! I have also been blessed with amazing support from friends to step out of my old comfortable habits of wearing ill fitting and often ugly clothes, and it’s utterly changed my life. Thank you for sharing your oh so beautiful story and yourself here.
I am inspired every time I read this blog. We can come up with all sorts of excuses and justifications but the truth is they are created to cover up the lack of love for ourselves. The sad thing about it is that we make those justifications as priority when in truth it is the love for ourselves we crave and miss the most.
Each time I read this I am deeply grateful. Practical has been my moto in life, yet at times I broke out and bought pretty, often though I would taint this with guilt, this I no longer do, I haven’t lost my practical way, but I now buy clothes that I absolutely love, anything else is left in the store. To have such a grand role model as Dorothy to inspire women of all ages to dress how we really want to is wonderful as it exposes many ideals we have around clothing and aging.
At the end of the day it is not what we wear but how we wear it that is the most important and I can tell Dorothy that if you were still wearing that ‘practical’ underwear you would still be shining that beautiful light of yours; the light of an elder woman who is claiming the amazingness that she is
Poverty consciousness and struggle are deeply ingrained in previous generations, especially those who lived through the depression.
I still find this thinking affects the choices that people make, which then affects their kids and then their kids if we do not stop the cycle. For women it seems to make them feel guilty about buying anything pretty or unnecessary for themselves. Part of being a woman is celebrating our inner beauty, which cannot be there if we are still held in struggle and sacrifice.
What I find interesting about this poverty mentality is that it happens even with those who have the money. So it certainly has nothing to do with money and everything to do with self-worth, our true energetic currency.
I totally agree as I’ve experienced exactly this. Even when I have had money available to me, if there was no valuing of myself or a sense of my own worth then I felt inside very poor and having to struggle through life when all the while I had a savings account I dared not touch because if I did it would never be re-filled. Of course it wouldn’t if I was never depositing into the self-worth bank!
Coming back to this blog, I am touched by the sweetness, support and strength in confirming that we all deserve pretty underwear; as a celebration and every day reminder of the true beauty we are within.
Yes me too, every time I read this blog of Dorothy’s I am touched. It reminds us of our precious and delicate nature, and the beauty of celebrating it.
What we can and can’t wear is also another picture that we adhere to, rather than what feels great and honours us as beautiful women from the inside out.
What a wonderful role model you are for older women Dorothy; in fact all women. So many women as they get older feel that they need to dress for their age, dressing down their natural beauty simply to fit in with societal beliefs. Thank goodness there are women like you that are smashing these old and very confining pictures and showing that age is just a number; it’s how you feel on the inside that sparkles out of your eyes.
Dorothy, I love coming back to this absolutely gorgeous blog and seeing and feeling you and what you have chosen for yourself. So very beautiful.
The truth of a woman is within her essence and age does not even come into it. Every woman’s beauty and grace is timeless and divine, and your gorgeous blog reflects this so beautifully Dorothy.
“It probably sounds silly but after I paid for them I burst into tears, as in my 64 years, I had never had anything so beautiful” – Dorothy re-reading your post again today, it touches so deeply…the transitioning of yourself through life is like a history lesson in sharing with us how things were for you [and many other women too]. From where you’ve come from to where you are today is a complete joy matched by the smile on your face in the photo. Gorgeous.
Natalie Benhayon shows us that great wisdom does not only come through the elder generation. She is a young woman in her twenties who supports woman of all ages, on any subject matter or issue they may have, about any aspect of their life Her wisdom is endless and ageless.
I love that Dorothy has shown us that there is no age limit when it comes to buying pretty underwear and that there is also no age limit to making changes in our lives. So many as they age have this deeply ingrained belief that they can’t change and stay stuck in situations that are not supporting of them; a conversation with Dorothy would definitely help to dismantle this non-serving belief!
So inspiring, it is never too late to deepen the relationship we have with ourselves, getting more honest and letting go of the imposing beliefs that we have allowed to colour our lives, reconnecting to what is true for us and ultimately true for all.
“….. just know that YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.” I love this claiming for all women. Many of my bras no longer serve, so I shall go searching for comfortable – and pretty – bras very soon.
Dorothy, I love coming back to your blog and seeing your beautiful photo. It is perfect timing too for I am going clothes shopping with my 21 year old son today and I am feeling inspired by your sharing. Thank you.
I just love the fact that you have come to this realisation, you are super inspiring for women all ages.
I will never ever look at my underwear in the same way ever again.
I have been feeling recently how important it is to wear underwear that not only looks lovely but feels lovely too. I have a number of bras that just don’t fit me that well and for some time I have been wearing them and dismissing this fact. All the more reason for me to find the time to go underwear shopping.
It’s such a confirmation and honouring moment to to buy nice pieces of underwear and or clothes to celebrate who we are. Thank you Dorothy for sharing your story as it shows that at any stage we can make a new step to treasure and love who we are.
I love the feeling of choosing to put on something that perfectly compliments how my body feels, the way I see clothes is it’s a bit like our clothes are what our body would say if it could speak, so choosing the right colour, the right texture and fit is a natural part of our daily expression.
This blog is testimony to the fact that in societies all over the world, where little girls are growing up in to women, there is a serious lack of self appreciation that is being passed on from generation to generation. But it is very gorgeous to read how no matter what has happened, no matter the life experiences, it is always possible to re-ignite this self appreciation once again and to make it our every day way of living,.
I love what you are sharing here Dorothy. So inspiring and so playful. It really is never too late to change anything about how we treat ourselves in any aspect of life, regardelss of our age, size or body shape.
You have the most gorgeous face Dorothy, which reflects so beautifully the honouring and playful choices you are now making for yourself, to show off your gorgeousness and natural beauty.
I love it, the complete reversal of how and why to dress ourselves with care and respect. Instead of dressing well to be acknowledged for our beauty, youth or style, dressing to express our inner beauty to the outside world.
What a beautiful caring and supportive blog that is so grounding and lovely to come back to as it touches on so much for all women and the joyusness it shares and the knowing that it is never to late to honour ourselves in every way and pretty underwear is a start to so much more.
It is so easy to get caught up in being practical with our underwear but at times it is lovely to splash out and treat ourselves, and to feel that we are worth it.
I really love coming back to read this blog, it is just so delightful and a reminder that it is never too late to really honour oneself, to take care and to allow ourselves to buy what we have always wanted.
I simply love this article. It shows me that never does our joy and girlie fun disappear, we may at times live like it has, but it is always there deep inside and loves any moment we let it be in our lives.
Yes… and when we do let the joy out from ‘deep inside’ it expands endlessly beyond the confines of our bodies. It is super simple – all we have to do is let go and pretty underwear is a great prompt to remember this!
You are totally inspiring Dorothy. Feeling the gorgeous appreciation you have for yourself is so beautiful and paves the way for others.
It has been amazing reading all these wonderful comments and to hear about everyone’s experiences. What an incredible journey this has been. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
And you deserve every one of them, Dorothy, you are worth it! Your article has inspired me to stop and pause when I get dressed in the morning to observe how I am feeling that day by which undies I have chosen to put on. There is a direct correlation with the two.
That’s gorgeous Dorothy ‘what an amazing journey this has been, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world’.
Such a stunning photo where the inner beauty and natural playfulness shines through in your eyes and your clothes.
Dorothy, I was brought up in a similar era where commodities were scarce and you always bought things that were practical not pretty. Even when I started to buy myself pretty dresses I never thought to buy pretty underwear because it was not seen. However, I did not realise that this was laying a foundation of disregard in that I was putting it on with an attitude that was less than loving and even if I put something beautiful on top the energy of the underwear would lower the vibration.
The ways we choose to honour ourselves make all the difference, underwear, a warm pair of socks, a fluffy towel etc…all of this and so much more, how we place them on our bodies makes all the difference to how we feel about ourselves.
Building the sense that we do deserve care, in this case pretty underwear, is the beginning of a relationship with ourselves founded on a cherishing and honour that can inspire a rebalance of the disregard we have come to accept as normal.
It is amazing to read about your life and all the changes it has gone though, all the challenges and the great strengths that you have together with a tender sweetness that is so gorgeous.
Reading this again is just beautiful. It has inspired me to look at my underwear drawer and reconsider what is in it. I seem to have a collection that is more ‘sexy’ rather than beautiful and supportive and it feels pretty yucky to me now – as if I have outgrown it all. So tomorrow I am going to shop for underwear that can really support me and also express the delicate female I feel I am starting to show to the world.
So true we all do deserve to know the truth that we are beautiful and that we all can be loving and caring of ourselves in a way that really supports this, and this can include lovely underwear etc. Lets enjoy and celebrate who we are.
“when I look in the mirror I can finally see the beautiful woman who is smiling back at me. For most of my life I used to hide behind an artificial smile, some people used to say that I was always smiling, but I really wasn’t, I was hiding my pain. Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!” Amazing Dorothy so beautiful to see for all women to love and appreciate themselves for who we truly are and to live this .
I have been understanding how I have been unconsciously (and at time consciously) choosing to repeat patterns that keeps me feeling less connected and less expressive of the immense love, delicateness and power I feel within me. Clothes are definitely one such area. Gorgeous reading how you have been breaking such patterns and deepening your experience of being an amazing and beautiful woman.
My journey to appreciation. The arrival is beautiful as shown in this blog.
‘Over the last 10 years, thanks to the presentations and support of Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, I have come to know that I am an amazing and beautiful woman. I am now feeling so much better about my body than I have ever done, and at 86 I can honestly say that this is the best I have ever felt in my life; and I’m still wearing pretty underwear!’ Dorothy I love the sweetness and warmth in this blog and the presentation that it is never too late to appreciate all that you are as a woman. Simply gorgeous.
Dorothy, thank you for sharing deeply your moving transformation and testimonial of how empowering it is to re-claim our self-worth through appreciating the exquisite beauty we all naturally are within. You have highlighted so brilliantly that when we live in connection to our inner-beauty our lives are enriched beyond measure and to no end. Your story has touched and inspired me deeply.
Thank you for sharing your journey from practical to pretty not just with your underwear but with your whole being. So inspiring on many levels and your photo reflects this so perfectly.
When we break a lifetime behaviour pattern like you have described here Dorothy it is very powerful and very freeing and a deeply inspiring reflection for us all. The world changes when we allow more of ourselves out.
I have loved coming back to read this delightful story of how you have lived and what you have claimed for yourself. Something like owning new underwear to most people is quite insignificant, but reading your story, making the purchases you did, no matter what age you do so, can be such a claiming of oneself. Very beautiful.
Dorothy this sharing tells of so much more that the title suggest – you are claiming the beautiful woman you are. Thank you for showing how such small choices can have such amazing outcomes.
This is so beautiful Dorothy, a living testament to the fact there is never a time nor a circumstance that makes it too late or too difficult to embrace our beauty.
I absolutely agree Rachel – well said. What Dorothy has shared is powerful confirmation for all, of the eternal divine beauty we naturally are within that is forever ready to be embraced and lived.
I love how you raise here the fact that feeling pretty is an innate part of womanliness and how it is not a sign of weakness or of being submissive, but just merely an expression of how light and delicate a woman can be.
Such a beautiful celebration of you Dorothy! – something we can all be inspired by.
Recently a friend was given a very expensive jacket to sell on behalf of another friend. She felt the jacket was for me but knew it was a lot for me to pay for a jacket. This friend loves me deeply and she couldn’t not show me the jacket and give me the option of buying it. We were both hoping I wouldn’t like it as that would have been much better for my finances. She came over and I put the jacket on. I tried so hard not to like it but I could not ignore how I felt in the jacket. It had nothing to do with how it looked, even though it looked amazing – it was simply the quality and what happened when me and the jacket came together. I bought the jacket and love it!
There is a beauty within us all and when we connect with it and allow it to come out, the reflection we see in the mirror confirms our natural beauty and preciousness.
When we move from self-denial to appreciating ourselves and are then able to express this appreciation in our clothing – it is one of the nicest processes I have come across in my life!
I’ve been asked a few times why I wear pretty underwear when no one sees it – what’s the point? There is so much point – it’s for me! I love the way I feel in my underwear (and all my clothes). There is nothing to show, it is only for me.
I just love coming back to this blog and seeing your beautiful photo Dorethy, your sharing is profound and very inspiring for us all to let go of old ways of being that do not show our amazing light.
Allowing ourselves to feel the joy of new pretty underwear is innate within all women as is so much more and it is amazing to allow this beauty to be felt for ourselves and when we don’t it feels like something is missing and that is our appreciation of our quality and connection to all we are.
What an absolutely delightful, inspiring and wonderful story. Thank you so much Dorothy for sharing this with us. What you used to feel about yourself and throughout your life, to claim buying underwear that makes you feel amazing, but also your clothes, is just so beautiful and such an inspiration, that it doesn’t matter what age you are, you can always connect with yourself and feel beautiful.
Can we ever be too sweet, respectful and caring of ourselves? I am coming to understand that the answer to this question is no as I realise the impact of my taking care of and honouring myself on the quality of my work, relationship and outlook on life.
I just love your story Dorothy. This is probably true of so many women. We get stuck in a rut with our clothes and our underwear and never think outside the box. Good for you for stepping out and making the changes. It feels so gorgeous and so worth while.
Absolutely, do we need to honour, cherish, and appreciate the true woman within us all, for how absolutely divine, graceful and lovely we all are, and what better way than through sexy matching lingerie to reflect all of that and help us feel our innate delicateness.
I loved that your friends encouraged you to update your bras and clothing. They could feel your essence and knew that your cloths and underwear needed to reflect the true you. These women are true friends, ones to be appreciated and valued.
There is nothing more lovely and confirm than putting on beautiful underwear and enjoying ourselves in this way for no other reason than to appreciate the delicate preciousness of ourselves.
I agree. Taking care choosing and wearing beautiful underwear is like a feedback loop that reminds me of the tenderness I am. This has an impact on everything in my day and brings that same tenderness to the way I work, speak with people, drive, cook etc.
“……from practical to pretty.” I sometimes observe myselve going into function also with my clothes. The practical sense of clothes is very common. Your sharing offers to expand one’s view to let go of ideals and belief and do what feels true and supportive and not practical and functional.
It is never too late to make changes…… how blessed are we that we can continue to evolve no matter what age or stage we are at in life. I loved reading your blog Dorothy, what an inspiration you are to all women, no matter how young or older.
This is beautiful, this part about thinking that nice clothes and things are for other women. I think this sometimes too, and wonder when I will be grown up and look like all the women I see on the way to work each morning. But then I realise that it is actually quite easy to buy nice things, the right things, the fashionable things, but true confidence comes form the inside, it is priceless, and our clothes can confirm this feeling, from the inside out, and that is the most precious way to dress ourselves – in appreciation of who we are.
What I love Dorothy is that at an age when many women have given up on themselves you are right there deepening your relationship with yourself. Very inspiring indeed.
I love this blog. This is very inspiring. We have choices till our last breath and it is never to late to change an ill pattern running within us. Evolution is on offer 24/7.
One thing I had to work on to let go of was that I was worth putting on lovely underwear for myself not just for my partner.
This is indeed a big shift and I agree that I really notice a difference when the intention in buying pretty underwear is in celebration of me.
I had a very similar upbringing, my father rarely spoke to me and I considered this normal growing up as this was all I knew. This then affected the way I communicated with men in general and if any man spoke to me, I did not discern, I was just grateful that they talked to me and would engage with them. It was only once I started building a sense of worth and value that I would be more discerning as to who I talked to and who I did not.
I loved hearing about how your friend supported you to consider a new way of dressing, one that helped you break out of the ‘old women consciousness’ and be free to wear whatever you truly felt celebrated and expressed you and not to hold back just because of your age or having a picture about what you were ‘allowed’ to wear!
As someone who just bought a really beautiful and supportive bra yesterday it has shown me the importance of spending money and time on myself when it truly feels supportive. And in buying that bra I know that I will feel the support it offers every time I wear it. That far outweighs what I paid for it.
Amazing and inspiring Dorothy that at 86 yrs you consider yourself beautiful and yet when you were young you did not. You are living proof that beauty is felt on the inside and reflected on the outside.
Brilliant insight Sandra!
The label of ‘plain and practical’ is not just about underwear. It is like a curse that women have hanging over them, telling them how to appear and behave. Anything else is immodest, vane, slutty etc and not to be pursued for fear of judgment. These feelings encase the loveliness that we naturally are. Luckily becoming aware of them and seeing them for the false, imposing layer they are is very easy, especially with the support of other women who have broken free of this bind.
Dorothy this is absolutely gorgeous to read. So inspired by you opening your clothing drawers, wardrobe and have your loving choices there to wear and shine in the world. Absolutely awesome!!!
At 86 years young, Dorothy, you are absolute proof for us all that it is never too late to make changes for ourselves. You feel absolute sweetness and light in your expression of your journey.
You are so right Gill; it is never too late to begin to make changes in our lives and Dorothy is a shining example of exactly this. I see so many older women who appear to be so accepting of being stuck in their lives and making any changes seems just way too hard; a conversation with Dorothy would certainly turn this around.
From hardship and dismissal of delicacy to a celebration of the sweetness, grace and beauty you are… this is an inspiring article.
Feeling our worth and to having beautiful underwear is something that many woman can struggle with. Even if you have some when you are wearing it there is a apart of you that doesnt feel you should be because you are not that delicate or beautiful. To be able to break this is such a freeing experience.
When I bought my first pair of matching lacy underpants I remember thinking this was very extravagant as I was so used to wearing cheap nickers from Kmart. Now I see my matching underwear as the norm and could not have it any other way.
Love your sharing Dorothy, thankyou. I have bought myself beautiful underwear, but have saved it for special occasions, and then rarely worn it. Re-reading your blog inspires me that every day can be special, because I’m in it.
A most beautiful sharing and thank you for doing so Dorothy.
I love your sharing in the end, we are all very worth lovely things not because they would make us better or as a reward but because we are so beautiful inside. Love it. And very true.
Dorothy this is my second read, it warms my heart to read of women finding the beauty within and blossoming into self love like you have. Very inspiring message as well.
This is gorgeous Dorothy, you show that we are never too old, or too young to appreciate ourselves; that we are worth taking the time over in celebration and loving us!
“Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!” – Dorothy your smile in your photo makes my face lift too : ) The power of living what’s inside, and letting that be, show, shine, has the power to inspire, change, and transform.
I remember that I kept really old and too small underwear from when I was young, and would wear them when I ran out of everything else. One day I stopped and looked at the old undies in my draw and knew I needed to throw them out – why was I keeping them? For me this was the start of a more loving approach to my underwear, rather than just a functional one.
Dorothy this is such a beautiful and humbling blog and I love how you have over the years changed your life at a time when many would be by now ill or for some be in a home. You are moving in the opposite direction to what is the ‘norm’ in our elderly years . You are an inspiration to us all.
When we choose to honour and hold ourselves in the love that we are, there is a divine beauty and grace that is felt by all.
My heart was smiling from side to side as I read your gorgeous blog. There is nothing more beautiful than the transformation that occurs when someone allows themselves to appreciate how exquisitely beautiful they actually are …. “Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!” Thank you, Dorothy, for sharing your journey home, to very gorgeous you.
I do love this blog Dorothy, to embrace yourself as a woman worthy of beautiful things is a great thing to do at any age… and if reincarnation is true, then it’s never too late to make these sort of changes. Next life you’ll only accept beautiful underwear from the very start… and have no idea why!
Super to read this blog again today Dorothy, you are such an inspiration. As a woman when we begin to feel our true self-worth, so many changes then take place and it can be as simple as buying some pretty underwear which then can have ripple effects in other areas of our life.
It is interesting how as young women we learn to sacrifice ourselves and what makes us feel valuable and pretty for the sake of others – so that they may feel what we are not allowed to. But actually this doesn’t make any sense. Because in actuality no one gets to feel valuable and pretty if everyone is carrying on like this. This is one of the greatest lessons that Natalie and Serge Benhayon share with everyone – that true value and self-honouring actually contributes to everyone as it actually spreads this quality out, it is not selfish and it is not indulgent to feel beautiful, it is actually very sensible and responsible to do so.
Awesome sharing Dorothy – love your story and your new experiences. It is such a great reflection on how we feel and treat ourselves. I love that you got yourself some truly lovely things just for you.
How gorgeous Dorothy and how delightful…”These days when I look in the mirror I can finally see the beautiful woman who is smiling back at me.” And the truth is, that beauty has always been there – from the day we were born… its only our choice to not see or feel it that has kept it hidden from our eyes – even though others may see it as clear as day!
I’m sure many women will relate to this Dorothy… “For most of my life I used to hide behind an artificial smile, some people used to say that I was always smiling, but I really wasn’t, I was hiding my pain.” How ingrained is it for women to ‘keep smiling, keeping on,” overriding how we feel, and our needs, to care for everyone else first. But in fact the exact opposite is true – when we bring loving care to ourselves first only then are we able to offer that true care to others.
What a beauty-full read- Dorothy, so honest and down to earth. I too could relate to this, not feeling my worth so I would make do with practical underwear, and only felt I deserved pretty underwear for a special occasion- Birthday, Mother’s Day or Xmas.
But I am indeed worthy of pretty underwear.
This is one of my all time favourite reads, and never fails to offer me a reflection. I especially enjoy the way it is written – so down to earth.
‘When I started work at 17 years of age I did not have nice clothes like other girls and I always felt so embarrassed’. I have been pondering on the shame we feel when it looks like on the surface we don’t fit in or have lives that look like other people’s and yet underneath we are all feeling the same and are all trying to put on a mask to hide our insecurities. In hiding our insecurities we offer a false picture to the world saying we have it sussed, when all we are really doing is perpetuating the illusion that everything is ok – not really offering truth to anyone. It is so clear how much we need to support our kids growing up to appreciate the innate essence they carry so that they can walk into any situation knowing they are of equal worth no matter what the outer may look like and to claim it so that others may be inspired by the truth of it.
Thank you Dorothy for sharing such a beautiful and inspiring story. I too used to wear plain and practical underwear tending to spend my money and give my attention to clothes that I could be seen in. Yes, I dressed for the outside as I was always conscious about what others thought of me. I never considered purchasing clothes for me let alone pretty underwear until a few years ago when I purchased some pretty bras and knickers to match. It felt great because I was buying for me but no matter how many pretty bras and knickers I have in my drawer it is how I feel about myself on the inside that matters and the pretty underwear is a confirming of this.
Dorothy your entire story and journey highlights the strength and power we do have as women to make a change towards love and how deeply we know this, and equally too just how much as women we can and do ignore or suppress this call, our feeling or intuition to not know true love in our life, causing grief.
Totally inspiring ✨
It is quite an insight for me to know that expressing love is not age related – not at all, whether it is for others or for ourselves.
Having beautiful underwear really does make a difference. It feels like a celebration to put on beautiful underwear. Taking the time and space to find beautiful underwear and making sure it fits very well and does not itch or cause irritation is a very nurturing thing to do. Again you would not think it would make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself yet I found it does.
Looking at the photo it is hard to believe you are 86 years old, this blog and your photo are an inspiration to us all. It is not about age, it is about connection to our being and if we have that, like you do, we feel ageless and the only thing that ages is our body.
Wow Dorothy what a stunning story… and what a transformation from the first 64 years of your life. Well done, it is not easy to turn around such entrenched lack of self-worth. Thank goodness for Esoteric Women’s Health and the Women in Livingness events I agree, I also would be in my own version of that lack if not for attending.
A gorgeous sharing! I love how you have been open to change. And that it didn’t stop at your underwear but also extended to your clothes. It is funny how we can grow up following trends of what our parents did without feeling what is true for ourselves.
There is a theme here in this blog that I can also see running through so many women’s lives – including my own. And that is to give to others before we give to ourselves. A way of living that ultimately leaves us feeling depleted. How gorgeous then to have women who are able to stand up and show their deeply personal and tender self-care as well as being valuable diligent and productive members of society.
There is a playfulness in this article that belies the neglect and denial of your early years. I love it when something this significant and important is shared so lightly and practically. Thank you
I felt that too Matilda and love it as well, it takes the harshness out of what was and lets the joy flow in the playfulness.
To get reminded how amazing we are and that we have deserved love and appreciation also in how we dress is very confirming and empowering.
This is so beautiful and empowering to read as the true power of Women is to realize that we are all deserving, we are all the shining self worth and depth of sacredness by birth, so let’s get on with it and live it out.
You are super inspiring Dorothy. There are plenty of us who are set in our ways who may never take the plunge like you did to find a new way of dressing. We get caught up in the comfort of knowing what works and then simply stay with it. It takes courage to step outside of our comfort zone, especially at the age of 86! I’m inspired!
Dorothy this is such an inspirational story and each time I read it I am inspired even more by the fact that no matter how challenging life was for you, you didn’t give up and finally the practical has become pretty – you certainly deserve it.
Yes it is never too late to start to truly love and value ourselves and this can forever deepen 💕
Super gorgeous Dorothy, what an inspiration you are to many women. One is never to old to feel and express how divine they are.
Beautiful pieces of underwear equally includes how they are cut, where the seams and edgings are and how they feel to wear.
Yes… when we honour what feels great for our bodies, we are loved back, all day long, by the care we take over our underwear.
Indeed, so awful when things nick and pinch… not much love there then 😉
Having beautiful underwear is amazing but what I have come to realise is the way that I put it on and who I am putting it on for makes the world of difference. To be able to put it on and feel that delicate and pretty on the inside and having them there to confirm this is leaps and bounds to where I used to be with my underwear.
Yes, I can really relate to this Natalie. To put on gorgeous underwear, knowing and feeling how gorgeous and truly sexy you are is a million miles away from wearing it to make you feel sexy or to satisfy another.
The difference is so distinct – and if women do this just because they feel this inner beauty and love instead of buying sexy underwear to wear for another makes such a huge difference, as with the former they wear it for the pure reflection of joy.
Agreed Natalie, it’s the connection to our inner delicacy and fragility that is essential here that is then celebrated through our choice of underwear and how we dress ourselves in it. And Dorthy proves to us all that it is never too late to claim it.
Feeling ‘delicate and pretty on the inside’ would sound abhorrent to most women, as they would equate it with being weak and vulnerable and for most of my adult life I would have agreed with them. However now, knowing how delicate and pretty feels on the inside, I am in no doubt that this is our natural way of feeling and when someone is being themselves there is a very natural strength that comes with that.
Dorothy, this is a key comment that plays out in a lot of women’s lives: “When my marriage ended 40 years later my self esteem and confidence was non-existent, even more so as the marriage had not been happy, and at times very abusive, so I did not think that I deserved to have nice things.” – So many of us as women have low self esteem and lack of self value so that when things like a relationship ends we then feel we have no foundation of self love to stand upon. In addition having been in relationships where we have not been respected and loved, has only confirmed our lack of self worth. But what you have also shared is that it is never too late to change this, that we can begin in small steps to re-build what we know to be a true relationship with ourselves as women – one that is loving, tender, caring respectful and beautiful. Your underwear story is a simple but very powerful instigator of change! Thank you so much for your candid and gorgeous sharing!
I can remember the plain and practical underwear too, Dorothy, growing up. My sister and I got so excited one Christmas when we both got a pair of matching vest and long johns in red with white lace around the edges. I have a vivid memory or us dancing around the bedroom in pure delight. Every little girl growing up, loves to be feel special so I understand how you must have felt at having to ‘make do and mend’ as they say, but never too late to treat ourselves is it, and appreciate ourselves by buying supportive as well as pretty underwear.
Every time I read this blog Dorothy my face erupts with joy. It is so well and honesty expressed and so gorgeous to feel how you naturally came to reclaim yourself again.
I agree and the photograph is an absolute show stopper… your smile made me giggle this morning, Dorothy, thank you.
From beautiful on the inside to beautiful on the inside and the outside.
Dorothy just re-reading you post again, and realising how the childhood you experienced is what many of us also experience albeit to varying degrees — the absence of love at home, with and between one’s parents/siblings, makes for a very starched, practical and cold outlook on life.. and that with the choice to admit and see this, that your entire world can change.. and blossom as yours has.
You are amazing, Dorothy, and this picture of you sais it all.
“So for women who do not know, or think that they do not deserve pretty underwear, just know that YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.” What beautiful wise words Dorothy, words that are worthy to have splashed across the front cover world wide of every women’s magazine.
Hear Hear – exactly so, so every woman gets this 🙂
Absolutely Samantha. How amazing would it be to see these words even on bilboards or London buses, or even posters on the underground! Every women totally deserves to be told this and then to know it for themselves.
There is so much very pretty underwear on the market these days, it has become much more of a thing, more fashion lead than practical garment… so in this sense I find with all the gorgeous laces and different cuts, I pay more attention to exactly what it is that feels lovely, comfortable and reflects my expression as a beautiful, delicate woman.
This blog is deeply loving Dorothy and a beautiful reflection for us all. So much judgement can be placed on others around the way they look and dress when underneath is a heart that beats the same as you and me. This has shown how the simplest thing we do in holding ourselves lovingly or purchasing something in the deepest of loving intention can open us up for all to see. You are glowing Dorothy, thank you for sharing your life and choices with us.
and ‘underneath a heart that beats the same for you and me’ is the energy of love, common to every-one and every-thing.
Well said – exactly so, all as one.
And the beautiful reflection that is offered to the sales assistant when something is purchased in the deepest loving intention is very worth appreciating.
Yes so true and deeply felt by others too – isn’t it just so good that with such simple things a big felt difference can be made …
To be able to appreciate and allow ourselves to have lovely underwear is something that I always put on the ‘I can’t afford it list’ but in reality it was the fact that I felt I didn’t deserve anything so special and for it to be a daily thing. Coming to realise that this is a load of nonsense and that I am worth this because I am this is a transformation.
Yes, the same is true for men – underwear is less of an issue but just changing the way we dress can make a big difference to our well-being and to how we present ourselves and it can be quite joyful.
Love your comment Christoph – really nice to comment on such a ‘female’ issue and bringing in the male side too, sharing the joy.
A truly beautiful and inspiring transformation Dorothy!
I’ve discovered my wardrobe is a haven or hiding hole – storing either my beliefs or self worth. I only have to be open when I open the doors to read what value I hold myself in by what is hanging on the rack and what I choose to wear. Having lovely things is one thing – giving myself permission to wear them and shine is another.
For every woman that knows she is worth carefully chosen underwear, all women everywhere are invited to appreciate their worth.
Smacks out of the park expressions “a leopard can never change its spots”, “too old for change”, “can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. Love, love, love the inspiration of this blog – the absolute gold of what the Way of the Livingness can bring to all of our lives. Thank you for this exquisite sharing and your amazing transparency and tenderness.
Oh my, oh my – this is so beautiful. The birth of a butterfly.
What I find amazing for how long we are ready to accept a shortage of money in our life.
As dementia becomes a growing problem in society as we age, you show us a great example of an antidote to this, Dorothy, to not get stuck in the past and check out, but to continue engaging in life, embrace our own worth and beauty and check in. We most definitely are worth it.
Learning to love ourselves and appreciate and value who we are hugely important. It changes everything in life if we know and accept our own worth.
With thanks to your blog Dorthy I realise that other day that even stepping into a boutique style shop has been a huge step up in my own self appreciation. I never used to feel worthy of stepping inside such places that seemed exclusive, expensive and luxurious, these places were always for other women but not me. What a graceful marker of how much the Esoteric Women’s Health presentations by Natalie and Serge Benhayon can shift these deep seated self loathing attitudes. It’s not about buying expensive clothes, it’s about feeling worthy of the quality these places represent.
How wonderful it is Dorothy that you have finally come to know and appreciate the beautiful woman that you are, and always have been. I know that by sharing this story you have inspired many women, me included, to know that it is never too late to make loving changes in our lives, and to acknowledge the powerful ripple effect that ensues is so very important.
I love the way that you have linked the ‘no-esteem’, the unhappiness, and the struggle you we’re experiencing in life to the fact that you never had any pretty underwear, Dorothy. It is amazing how everything in our lives reflects the way that we are living. How wonderful to exiting that misery into the realm of true self-esteem and love.
What touches me in your sharing, Dorothy, is that by aging you do not loose one ounce of beauty and joy, actually you can gain joy and beauty by understanding who you truly are on a deeper level and expressing this in your movements, your clothes, how you communicate and talk.
Having clothing and or undewear that you love and that feels great on is a true confirmation of loving care that we can offer ourselves and lays a solid foundation for our self esteem too. Thank you Dorothy this is magic to read.
Every little thing we do reflects how we are with ourselves and Dorothy, your underwear story is very familiar to me as I was brought up in a similar consciousness where practical came before pretty and the little money we had was mostly spent on food. Yet, even when I could afford ‘pretty’ I still chose the ‘practical’ which showed that I was owned by that consciousness. It’s this that is not pretty.
Dorothy, you said that you ‘had never learned to communicate with anyone to get any advice about things.’ That was certainly a thing of those times – we thought we had to battle on by ourselves. How lovely that you allowed someone to support you. We often think we are alone and have to do all ourselves and our stubborn independence can keep us isolated but it is our choice to let that go and let people into our hearts, as you did.
I have come to realise and appreciate that accepting support and care from others is a huge part of our relationships – a willingness to surrender to another – really amazing.
Having stood and looked at some very expensive lingerie yesterday I can appreciate what an awesome step it is to take, ‘splashing out’ on expensive, beautiful underwear when every thing in your life has told you to be sparse and functional with your resources. Honouring your body with delicately made lingerie that befits what you feel inside is a true inspiration Dorothy, thank you for sharing this very intimate part of your personal relationship with your self and your body.
Thank you Dorothy, you have such a great way of calling out femininity for what is and what it is not. It makes me feel like permission has been given to live all the gorgeousness that I feel inside.
Dorothy, I absolutely loved reading your article, how gorgeous to be aware of and feeling your beauty at 86, ‘at 86 I can honestly say that this is the best I have ever felt in my life,’ you are a true role model for women, showing that no matter what age we are we all deserve to wear pretty things and to feel beautiful,’YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.’ Gorgeous, thank you.
“This was the beginning of a whole new way of dressing for me and over a period of time I have been able to gradually update my clothing. I have loved throwing out the old and replacing it with something new…” – me too Dorothy, the more i embrace myself and the loving changes i’ve made in this, the more i find myself gravitating towards de-cluttering, loving feeling the shift in energy and sparkle of – change.
The friendship offered from one woman to another can be so confirming – over the last few years I have had several friends encourage me to try on figure-hugging dresses that I wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing and yet, once on, they looked perfect and I have loved wearing them. Now, I have discovered those Op shops (they are better quality in Australia than England) and have been having fun experimenting with really skinny dresses that don’t cost a fortune, but that look amazing on my now slim figure.
The clothes we choose to wear can say so much about how we feel about ourselves, so it is lovely to read how you started to feel that you deserve to have clothes that equal your loveliness.
Dorothy I just have to keep coming back to this blog because I feel so much joy from feeling your surrender back to your gorgeous and sexy self and how you are so loving expressing that with yourself now. Such a delight, to feel.
“Oh dear’ I thought, me having pretty underwear, that is for other women. But she persisted and in we went. I was feeling totally out of my depth and bewildered, just wanting to turn around and walk out…” Dorothy knowing that you did not walk out, but continued with what your friend suggested and appreciated yourself lights up my day…! You are inspiration to all women, of all ages where you make age redundant, and the cherishing of the woman, wholly employable.
Amazing how the little things add up in life. Things that we put up with, get on with and after a while don’t notice anymore but are actually defining and degrading our self worth.
This has really inspired me to look at my underwear. I came at it from the other way. I always wanted underwear that was sexy for men to see and would have a non sexy pile too. But in that – I can feel how none of my underwear supports me anymore and now that I have had a baby and am staring to finish breast feeding – it feels like the perfect time to do a stocktake and be honest about my underwear 🙂
Such a gorgeous blog Dorothy, and very empowering for all women to buy things that celebrate their beauty and grace rather than hide it. You are amazing!
Beautiful story Dorothy. I too am in my seniors years and I’m starting to feel I deserve beautiful things. With more opening and transparency come the need to brighten up my wardrobe and do away with the drab and boring.
When we feel fabulous as a woman, and dress that fabulousness, there is nothing dry or boring/practical, but everything fresh and…sexy!
I love what you have said here Zofia. Everything comes alive!
It is so lovely when we offer ourselves a gift, be it under wear or a gentle touch as we get dressed, it does not have to be stuff, but stuff and things can be a celebration of what we already are. I love matching underwear, feels great to be prepared and caring of myself in this way.
I like lovelies from time to time. Earned them as I went through life! I can relate!
Dorethy re-reading this blog this morning has brought a tear to my eye, it is so beautiful to hear how you now appreciate yourself for the beautiful lady you are. Thank you so much for sharing. At 86 you are an inspiration to women of all ages.
Femininity never grows old or tired, it never gives up or gets boring. That is what this blog has shown to me: that our deep sense of self love which can be expressed at any point in our lives, is always there, waiting.
Shami I agree, what this blog has really highlighted for me is that our femaleness is an ever present quality that is there to be connected to always. Femaleness is the same for all women and all men, it never changes, it is a constant in life, it is us that blink in and out.
Dorothy your blog is inspirational. Self worth is major in how we carry ourselves through life and the choices we make in the wake of ‘choices’ that are made by those around us especially our parents. The level of self worth I claimed as a child growing up was zero and this played a huge part in the choices I made to gain recognition by being good or being a victim. We can choose to ‘Mask’ this lack of self worth or we can choose to claim what is innate within – the ‘love we are’. Everything that comes after that is an honouring of that truth. Your picture is beautiful and your smile and eyes confirm that you are open to sharing what you have claimed for everyone. Thank you.
Christine it took me until my mid forties to understand that the driving force for the majority of my decisions and ways of being was an entrenched case of lack of self worth. It came as quite a surprise as I had always thought that I held my self in fairly high regard and yet I didn’t have to probe very deep to discover that my seemingly good opinion of myself stood shakily on a well dug and fertilised bed of lack of self worth that I had tended since my school days.
A true friend indeed who insisted you buy yourself some beautiful underwear.! What a wonderful gift they gave you that day.
‘It probably sounds silly but after I paid for them I burst into tears, as in my 64 years, I had never had anything so beautiful.’ This does not sound silly at all Dorothy. What a beautiful tender, moment you are sharing with us all here.
The sweetness of the appreciation in this article is so palpable and inspiring. Thank you, Dorothy.
‘Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!’ What a true beauty secret Dorothy, thank you for sharing. And your picture says it all – you are gorgeous.
I always think why is it that we baulk (and i include myself here) at the price of some underwear under the notion of it not being seen so the price should be lower, versus the price of a new dress/item of outer clothing that is seen, and the higher price being alright. It shows how much as women we do tend to treat ourselves always in parts – seen and unseen, and with this put a price on it, and on ourselves too.
yes Zofia, perhaps they are not called ‘foundation garments’ for nothing 🙂 How gorgeous it is to feel well supported by beautiful underwear. Whatever we wear over it need not be more expensive either as when the foundation is well set the outer cover will naturally appear and feel so too. What value do we place on our whole being rather than the tendency to isolate ourselves in to parts and price as you say.
I love re-reading this Dorothy, you are such an inspiration and living proof that it is never to late to cherish and adore your self and show the world just how gorgeous you are.
I love the support you received from your friends, coupled with your willngness to change, that led you to trying on new underwear and clothes and i love that you have connected to your beauty and that “these days when I look in the mirror I can finally see the beautiful woman who is smiling back at me”
‘ Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!’ Gorgeous Dorothy, there is no balm like true joy .
i so enjoy returning to reading this Dorothy, there’s a beautiful sweetness I can feel how you are cherishing yourself. Your expression reflects how you are appreciating your journey that you are worth having pretty underwear for yourself.
Beautiful can be very practical, especially done with discernment and the practicalness can even amplify the beauty as it can be an expression of love to be also practical.
Dorothy you are completely adorable and a true inspiration with what sounds like some really awesome friends who obviously love you dearly. What I got from reading your blog the second time round and what it highlighted to me is just how important relationships are as they can define what we feel about ourselves, particularly when little and growing up ‘but for me I was always on the outside thinking that ‘no one wanted to hear what I had to say’, and my self confidence and self worth slowly diminished every day.’ We are currently not taught much about relationships when growing up, yet we constantly have these and they are forever changing the moment we come into this world. Every single day of our life throughout our entire life we cannot escape the relationships we have with families, friends, school, communities, teachers, work, university … basically the world. One of the greatest gifts I have learnt from both Serge and Natalie Benhayon is not only learning more about the importance of the relationships we have with everyone, including the quality of them, but just how fundamental the relationship we have with ourself is .. because if we do not truly love ourselves how can we love another? It is an absolute joy to read how much the relationship you have with yourself has changed.
Every girl and every woman deserves to wear beautiful underwear. Beautiful sharing.
The more i’ve connected to myself as a woman, the more i find myself with joy in selecting bras no longer on basic functionality, but more delicate in design, different fits and fabrics for different clothes, for different days of the week, and also during my cycle. My breasts constantly change as i do, reflecting the quality of relationship i’m having and enjoying with myself.
And how lovely it is for us as women to be able to share on this topic so intimately here, I love what you say Zofia about “different fits and fabrics for different clothes, for different days of the week, and also during my cycle”. This feels very nurturing and honouring.
Agreed Zofia, these days I too am allowing myself to purchase bras that suit the occasion, or for that special dress, or just because it’s really pretty. A true reflection of the deeper relationship I am building with myself as a woman.
“some people used to say that I was always smiling, but I really wasn’t, I was hiding my pain.” it is ‘putting on a brave face’ – we know we are absolutely sweet and deeply gorgeous but the cover-up smile hides that this has never been confirmed, so we just plump for ‘nice’, and ‘pleasant’ instead.
How inspiring to know that we are never too old to celebrate how we feel by choosing to wear beautiful underwear that no one else may even know we are wearing, but which we feel so gorgeous in.
Thank you for the warm beauty and youthfull exuberance you always emanate Dorothy.
It is amazing how something so small, a seemingly insignificant thing, can represent a choice to take more care and more deeply look after yourself.
Connecting to my essence as a woman yesterday through sacred movement I felt so incredibly beautiful and self appreciative that it would have felt like an abuse to have put anything on that did not support this feeling!
I remember being brought up to be frugal and practical. I took that into my adult life where everything was functional. How it looked was secondary and that went for my clothes too. I also remember having what we called ‘best wear’ which was saved for special occasions. Recently I have been taking my best wear out and wearing it for my everyday. There has been a change in how I see myself, and part of that is feeling deserving and giving myself permission to have and wear nice things all of the time.
We have so many ideas around age that get in the way of us enjoying our lives fully. All the ‘shoulds’ or ‘should nots’ are really quite crippling. I am looking forward to continuing to wear nice things and your blog has been a real inspiration Dorothy.
What a life changing moment purchasing the pretty underwear was for you Dorothy, to finally cross that bridge with ‘I am worth it” written on it. It’s not about spending money, it’s about the choice to treasure our selves and celebrate our delicate fragility. And when we do, what a beautiful gift we bring to the world.
Dorothy, I love that at the age of 86 you felt to write such an honest blog to be shared on the World Wide Web, that’s quite something you know.
I know that what I wear can make a big difference to how I feel, it’s a big part of our expression, and when we truly express ourselves it’s lovely not just for us but for everyone around us too.
“For most of my life I used to hide behind an artificial smile, some people used to say that I was always smiling, but I really wasn’t, I was hiding my pain.” I had one of those smiles slapped on my face too Dorothy, I know exactly what you mean. It is testament to the immense healing power of Serge and Natalie Benhayon’s life work that so many of us, you and me included, can offer a genuine smile to the world again, a smile that unreservedly radiates the joy of living from our eyes and the whole of our bodies.
Society is not designed to encourage or support us to take care of ourself, let alone cherishing ourself. Conversations and inspiring stories like these are gems reminding us that we are the ones to start turning this tide round.
This blog represents all women in so many ways, with the sweetest example of how we can express our sense of value and worth through our clothing. And, how we can change our sense of value and worth simply through self-love which then affects the clothing choices we make – and not the other way around!
I saw a 70 year old woman the other day ‘strutting’ her beauty and vitality in some gorgeous lycra tights. We need more role models like yourself Dorothy who are not shy to showing their natural beauty and power.
Such a gorgeous sharing here Dorothy, you inspire us all. Thank-you.
Your wonderful friend made a very good point about dressing like an old woman. It isn’t about age as I have met some much younger women who already dress like ‘old women’ (and act like it too). I now know many gorgeous older women who dress with the vibrancy and beauty they feel inside. Seeing these role models I know I don’t have to end up with a purple rinse, neat perm and dull, shapeless clothes.
Something a friend shared with me recently about my hair looking like a Nanna’s was absolutely invaluable. I had not really noticed that my hair was looking quite as bad as it was but once she had pointed it out, it was impossible to deny. I am so grateful for the loving and honest way that she shared what she did because as a result I have had my hair cut and coloured and it has radically changed both the way that I look and feel.
I loved this story and could relate to this poverty consciousness and ideal of sacrifice as a woman. It doesn’t sound silly at all to cry when you finally allow yourself to buy beautiful things. After a lifetime of making do and believing that lovely clothes are only for ‘other women’ it is a big step to realise you are one of these other women, who equally deserves to feel and treat yourself as beautiful.
Dorothy, thank you for this beautiful blog. I love the fact that at 86 you are enjoying your beauty more than ever. What an inspiration for women of all ages.
There is a wonderful release when we realise we can let go of our old childhood patterns and behaviours that don’t have to stay with us our whole lifetimes. I remember the time of austerity where everything was very utility and practical and there was no space to allow anyone to treat themselves, that was felt to be indulgent and decadent. Knowing we are worth it too Dorothy, through pretty undies and our own knowing inside is our gold to hold onto.
It is one of the most beautiful things to feel and experience – the joy and delight of another woman re-discovering herself and the amazing beauty that she is. For every woman that goes on this journey back to herself she inspires countless other women to do the same.
The sparkle in your eyes says it all Dorothy. What a glorious example of the real gifts that Natalie and Serge Benhayon offer us in their presentations and workshops, the gift of knowing who we truly are and celebrating our exquisite essence everyday. Thank you for sharing such a deeply moving personal journey.
I love re-reading your joy-full blog this morning Dorothy – what an inspiration you offer to women of all ages to love and appreciate themselves deeply and confirm this with enjoying wearing pretty underwear. You are so totally cool!
I feel a huge appreciation for you Dorothy that you have had the courage to grow throughout your life and despite a few setbacks and blows, you have grown into a beautiful woman who knows her worth. That is a huge development to show us all that we can have rough times but we come out stronger in the end. And you have the honesty to write and share it for people to read too.
What beautiful friends you have too Dorothy and reading your gorgeous blog this morning I felt moments of appreciation for my friends who have been catalysts for change for me. I love how we can all support and inspire each other
What a huge turn around to accomplish Dorothy. It can be so easy to just continue in the same groove and just think that these things apply to everyone else but not our selves. Making the effort to climb out of the groove can be so challenging, because it means that we have to look at, take responsibility for and potentially change everything in our lives. You are such a gorgeous example of what happens when we are bold enough to try.
Dorothy- such a beautiful story! It touched my heart. I realized that even today I hold back shining the beauty-full woman I am because of lack of self worth.
But after reading your inspiring blog- I feel to go shopping for some pretty underwear too, because I so deserve it.
We are more dazzling and precious than any diamond that has ever existed and yet we voluntarily cover ourselves in rags.
What you share is so very appreciated Dorothy – thank you. Childhood situations can leave quite an imprint on the choices made to care for ourselves through our life. From my experience and understanding self-worth is a big part in the decisions I make. “Hanging onto” old/ or just not required clothes is a biggie – even if there is no real reason. I am worth a new fresh T shirt or lovely knickers or whatever it is and let go of any holding back with old anything.
“Oh dear’ I thought, me having pretty underwear, that is for other women.” Gosh, how many times have I had that thought too! Thankfully, Natalie Benhayon’s presentations have changed all that and now I choose pretty things too, in honour of how gorgeous I feel inside. What an immense gift Natalie’s presentations are.
i do see the power when women decide not to be owned by their previous lack of self worth- they step out of it, and offer themselves what is there to be had, now that nothing is telling them they don’t deserve it in the first place. Self worth is something we can build every single day and it is something we can feel operating silently within us in so many interactions of life, it makes sense to work on it every single day then doesnt it.
“It probably sounds silly but after I paid for them I burst into tears, as in my 64 years, I had never had anything so beautiful.” – no, it doesn’t sound silly at all Dorothy. I feel your humbleness and appreciation of yourself for buying yourself lovely underwear. Very lovely indeed.
Dorothy you have inspired me. Why stick with practical when we can have pretty? Everything we choose for ourselves has an effect on the way we feel.
I cannot believe you are 86 Dorothy. You must have found the fountain of youth and it was there all the time, loving yourself enough to buy beautiful underwear to cherish the woman you are.
What a beautiful account of your journey back to a much truer and gorgeous version of yourself Dorothy. Your story is a great inspiration for many a mature woman, to know, you may be older in years, but that gorgeous and sacred essence of you as a woman, never dies, and is worth celebrating in every way.
It is great to have friends who can nudge us to see something that we cannot see ourselves at that moment.
I wonder how many women bought pretty undies, not for themselves but for their partners or at the start of a new relationship. Another example of negating self.
“As a child growing up there was not a lot of money coming into our household so I would wear hand me downs that my mother altered to fit me, and as for underwear, it was plain and practical” – funny how much of what we see in childhood does quietly shape how we treat ourselves later even if the same condition [e.g. having not a lot of money] does not apply… for instance i always remember going with my mum to buy her underwear at a factory outlet that did lovely designer silk lingerie at cheap prices. If it was not on offer, it wouldn’t be bought., simple as that. And later on found myself in the same pattern with a lot of things even when i had the money, only ever buying especially underwear – when it was in the sale or discounted, i.e that paying full price wasn’t worth it aka i wasn’t worth it. Great to break the cycle! And equally great to enjoy items feeling how much you’re worth regardless of the price tag : )
The clothes we wear do not define our beauty but they do support us to feel gorgeous.
Your article was so beautiful Dorothy it brought me to tears, inspiring to see you claiming the beautiful woman you are and have always been, showing it is never too late to connect to the power of love within our bodies and claim its healing. Just gorgeous thank you.
You are inspirational Dorothy! Wow what a tender, delicate and sensitive post. I will appreciate the clothes I wear with a fresh perspective from this moment.
Thank you so very much for sharing this story Dorothy, It is in many ways ageless women not valuing and celebrating themselves and their bodies is a growing issue and concern.
It is so deeply touching to read this account of your life, Dorothy, and to feel your joy in now having a loving and honouring relationship with yourself. You are an inspiring example for all of us, of someone who has never given up on love regardless of how tough life seems to be.
Dorothy reading about your school life caused me to reflect on how, at school, if a child was shy or lacked confidence then they were not supported by the other kids but would often be ostracised and picked on for being different. My word we’ve mutated so far from our original nature, our true nature of being love with everyone and everything. It is not a child’s fault that they are unable to be love with another when what they have been shown by others is self defensive separative behaviour.
Every woman’s underwear drawer tells a story about the woman whose underwear it is, as does her car, as does her make up, as does her jewellery, as do her food choices, as does her choice of partner, as does her cutlery drawer, as do her pets, as do her hobbies, as does her desk, as does her handbag, as does her bathroom routine. Every-thing is a reflection of ourselves, otherwise how would we know who we are?
Love this Alexis!
Why is it as women that so many of us not only settle for second best but actually feel uncomfortable with taking more than the dregs? The old ‘burnt sausage’ adage sums so many of us up but why is it that so many of us would dutifully serve ourselves the burnt sausage whilst everyone else gets the perfectly cooked ones? Our lack of self worth runs deep, very very deep indeed and we can rant all we like about women’s rights but until we feel worthy of more then nothing will truly change.
Brilliantly said as always Alexis, you are such a wordsmith,
our lack of self worth does indeed run deep and we do need to support ourselves to go so much deeper so that it things can shift for once and for all.
‘Our lack of self worth runs deep, very very deep indeed and we can rant all we like about women’s rights but until we feel worthy of more then nothing will truly change.’ A very pertinent statement. We can demand equality, demand the right to choose whether we allow ‘artistic’ photos of our bodies, demand to be heard and so on but until we value ourselves to the core, society will continue to dismiss us as we ourselves do, making it all about the outer and pictures and identification through these, whilst on the surface claiming that it is the fault of everyone around us that women’s lot in life is so poor! When we start to self nurture and self love it becomes really clear what is acceptable or not and from a place of empowerment we can say yes or no with ease, simplicity and grace.
So true Alexis, until we make the choice to address our dismal lack of self worth, how can we make a noise in the world about how other people regard us. It’s time to out the ‘burnt sausage syndrome’ and see ourselves for the precious, gorgeous beings we truly are, from the inside out.
Rowena the sad thing is that I think more women would fight to eat the burnt sausage than would fight to eat the perfectly cooked one. What a clear reflection of the state of women’s self worth this is that most of us see it as part of our duty to have the worst or last of everything.
I was moved when I read you burst into tears – that moment of breaking through years of holding back, not seeing all of you or feeling yourself worthy of wearing pretty underwear.. It confirmed to me how much we all hold back, the inner angst we suffer when we don’t not allow ourselves to feel our true worth and beauty and how joyful it is to feel it for the first time.
What stays with me is when you burst into tears after buying your first set of pretty undies and broke through years of holding back, of not seeing all of you or feeling your sheer worth released in an instant. Truly awesome to read and inspiring for all women.
Yes this is an inspiration and invitation to us all. An amazingly sweet, open and unifying article. Thank you, Dorothy.
Dorothy with the lovely sparkling eyes, buying pretty underwear and clothes for yourself is acceptance and appreciation of your true inner-beauty and worth. This is pure gold. Often its the little things we do for ourselves that say so much.
Yes indeed, Kehinde. Every moment that we claim our innate beauty and divinity is a drop of pure gold that has the power to change everything.
“Two years after my marriage ended I was shopping with a friend when she suddenly stopped outside a beautiful lingerie shop and said, “COME ON IN HERE, TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO BUY YOUR SELF SOME NICE UNDERWEAR!!” – Dorothy you have one gorgeous and truly supportive friend here, and the fact that you openly went along with her suggestion shows the present level of trust and openness you have both as women, and the beauty of women relating with each other towards their own expansion and glory.
Yes, what great friends and credit to the relationship they built between them that Dorothy trusted there was only love in the opportunity.
Agree in full Lucy, its one thing to say “buy some new clothes” and quite another for it to be said with the love and joy and support it obviously was. I do so love this way forward in women’s friendships where women support each other to be more, and that is the basis and substance of the relationship.
I remember having to wear hand-me-downs and I absolutely hated it, so I started to earn money from very young. It wasn’t enough to pay for clothing but it showed that I wouldn’t accept what was happening.
I cried in this article, just beautiful Dorthy. What an inspiration for women everywhere, its never too late to claim your beauty. I can’t even imagine having an up bringing like you have had, well done for finding your way back to the true you.
This is another reminder of how it is one life, which is about bringing quality and integrity to every part, even down to our underwear.
We really are all absolutely gorgeous and graceful in our own natural essence as a woman, and so complete within our divine sacredness. This fact should be an absolute known for all women, and yet it is not.
Absolutely beautiful Dorothy what an amazing change to appreciating your beauty and honouring who you are . Dressing in beautiful underwear and cloths feels so delicate and inspiring thank you and it goes to show it is never too late to change and honour ourselves lovingly and live this every day.
What shines through in this blog is your openness, to doing things differently, to the support of friends in nudging you to widen your choices and to re-defining and supporting yourself whatever your numerical age. Your beauty is ageless and an awesome reflection to all women that it is never too late to reconnect to our inner beauty.
I’m now asking myself, how much of my wardrobe is practical and how much of it is pretty and honours me?
Its an awesome shift Dorothy, to move from the functional, practical approach to life and undies, into a graceful appreciation of yourself and how you choose to dress, enjoying beautiful underwear and stylish clothes that truly honour who you are. You are a true inspiration for us all.
I love the fact of your age but to feel the energy is as if you would be in your teens and learning to live the beauty you are. This is amazing and very supportive.
It is truly beautiful when we see, honour and choose to live the depth of the love and grace within us, and also when we see, honour and choose to support an other to live the glory that is within them.
It is interesting how I have found my wardrobe to change a fair bit over time, and I am not talking here about the cycles in fashion in a given year or a given season. I mean that depending on how I have been feeling in life, I have purchased certain clothes or styles that then may or may not correspond to how I feel later. For example if I am not feeling very confident or just feeling down, my choices for clothes are completely different to when I am feeling beautiful or feel very much confident with myself. And so there are times when I look into my wardrobe and ask myself “What possessed me to buy that piece of clothing! It really does not do me justice!” – and this is always a refreshing thing to admit, because it lets me realise how important it is what I wear as a reflection and reminder of how beautiful I actually am. So Dorothy, your gorgeous underwear story is a great reminder for me of how we so are worth beautiful clothes right down to our undies that not many people will see and this allows us to celebrate ourselves in more ways than we realise!
I was also brought up in a family where we made our own clothes and had to wear hand-me-downs which did not always fit well – practical and often plain. Then as a young woman I wore striking and unusual clothes in bright colours but it was often in an attempt to draw attention to myself. And I did, but it was the wrong kind of attention so then later on I wore clothes to cover up my figure so that I wouldn’t be harassed by sexual advances. I was wearing my clothes for others not just because I felt good in them. So, it’s not so much what we wear but how we wear it. A plain dress can look stunning on a woman who puts it on in celebration of her beauty and walks in connection with this.
Dear Dorothy, what a sweet story. How lovely that you now appreciate your beauty as a woman and celebrate it. It shows how it’s never too late for us to make loving changes in the way we live
One of the many things that I love about your story Dorothy is that you made the choice to listen to your two friends and not the choice to walk away and live the way you always had. It’s a great example of the fact that in every moment we have a choice to turn one way or the other and in your case you chose to walk back towards you, and what a gorgeous woman you found waiting there for you.
Dorothy, you are so beautiful and definitely deserve beautiful clothes and underwear. I am inspired myself again to put some effort into finding pretty underwear as it has gone a little plain with the time and I agree it is fine but I deserve something that is very lovely down to the bottom (pun intended) of my underwear.
Dorothy, your choice to buy beautiful clothes and underwear is just a reflection of how beautiful you feel on the inside. And what a great reflection that is to all women everywhere, whatever age they are.
It is sad how parents can sometimes crush a child and leave them lacking in confidence and feelings of inadequacy. In most cases I am sure that they don’t do it on purpose and it is a legacy from their own upbringing. From such shaky beginnings it is lovely to see how you have turned your life around, and with the support of a true friend bought yourself some well deserved underwear to grace your new found womanliness.
“I am now feeling so much better about my body than I have ever done, and at 86 I can honestly say that this is the best I have ever felt in my life; and I’m still wearing pretty underwear!” Two points to say here: one, you do not look 86 years old Dorothy and two, this is an incredible statement to make, one that confirms beyond all question the immense importance of the work of Serge Benhayon and his daughter Natalie. Our self worth is not dependent on money, it helps of course if we have some to spend on ourselves, it really arises from connecting to our inner preciousness. Once we honour this we then have the fun and magic of discovering those items of clothing that reflect our delicate beauty, whether they be homemade, second hand or brand new.
It is very beautiful to feel the love and delicacy in your story Dorothy, and your friends ave picked this up and supported you in dressing the way you are to reflect your delicacy and beauty in the clothes.
Dorothy, money may be tight but your beauty isn’t. At all.
A pearl Christoph, and spot on!
So inspiring Dorothy- I could feel the hardship you went through, and I too could relate to aspects of that growing up. I used to get hand me down clothing from my older sister to wear, but I would look forward to my mother making us a new piece of clothing for Christmas. And when it came to underwear it was always plain, and bought when “on special”. However, with greater understanding of the times I appreciate what was given to us. It is a choice to feel the beauty within us and then feel impulsed to let it out and shine reflected by what we choose to wear.
Thank-you for sharing your gorgeous story Dorothy, it made me smile inside and out.
I certainly remember that underwear was functional and often the last thing we spent any money on because no-one ever saw it. There was always the joke of what would happen if you had an accident and you were caught out because you had your old undies on at the hospital. Wearing pretty undies makes us feel pretty and special because we are worth it, I’m glad we got there Dorothy .
I can so relate to you sharing this Dorothy ‘At school the children used to chatter away to each other, but for me I was always on the outside thinking that ‘no one wanted to hear what I had to say’, and my self confidence and self worth slowly diminished every day… my childhood was pretty lonesome too, even though I had two sisters and a brother. So it is heart warming that you have turned your life around, accepted and appreciate your worth as a beautiful woman and have chosen to reflect how you feel with pretty undies, just for you. I have always felt that I chose to wear plain and baggy clothing, certainly nothing that ever expressed my personality or sexiness, so waking up to reality and realising that we CAN shine is awesome, with no more holding back.
I love reading this because although the hardship side of things was evident through your life Dorothy, there is also a lot of joy shared of how your life is today and how you feel about yourself. It is interesting that how we feel about ourselves then reflects back into our choice of clothing i.e are we hiding or shining.
For generations women that have held back in honouring the beautiful, nurturing precious Beings they are and given first to others in their lives. From my own observations I am learning that it is so important to model for our younger ones the many small ways that love can be expressed toward ourselves. When women start to hold this as their foundation others will also reconnect to the truth of who they are – this feel so important.
I don’t think it sounds silly at all Dorothy that you burst into tears after paying for your beautiful, pretty new undies. It is a huge gift to yourself, that brings with it the shattering of long held beliefs that you are last in line or not worth ‘pretty’, it’s very joyful, I would have cried too in this re-cognition of my lovely self!
Thank you Dorothy, I whole-heartedly agree, we all deserve to have pretty underwear to celebrate our inner delicacy and beauty. What I really appreciate of myself these days, thanks to all the esoteric healing I have received, is how I not only wear it, but how carefully I look after it, so that is remains just as gorgeous and lovely as the day it was purchased. It’s become a real marker of how much I now care for and cherish myself as a consequence of Serge and Natalie Benhayon’s exemplary presentations.
I so agree Rowena, how we care for our clothes, how we wash and fold them and neatly put them away, makes all the difference to how they feel when we wear them, you could say it is a direct reflection of how we treat and care for our bodies and how much we love ourselves.
The reflection that this blog offers is priceless – a role model very much needed in our day and age.
What an incredible testament to you, Dorothy, and to every woman. What an inspiring read… thank you. I will review my underwear drawer this morning and open up to the possibility of prettier and prettier.
Isn’t it a question of how deeply we treasure ourselves – and how much do I treasure this amazing woman I am every single day of my life?
So much more than an underwear story – the embracing of inner worth – of delicacy – of the beauty felt from within – of self acceptance and of letting ourselves appreciate – to love and be loved. Truly precious.
Oh Dorothy – when I got to the line – “These days when I look in the mirror I can finally see the beautiful woman who is smiling back at me.” – I shed a few tears feeling that you had finally looked into your eyes and let yourself see and let out that incredibly beautiful spark you are. Very touching.
Buying new lacy or pretty underwear is a real joy for me and I have a regular shop and make of underwear that I like. It’s so much fun going there to see if there are new styles that I can buy for myself and I have quite a few pairs now, whereas go back pre 8 years ago and my underwear choices were quite boring and plain. It really is all about how you feel within yourself and about yourself and how you wish to express that loveliness and beauty you feel within.
Sometimes even just trying something on can seem like too big a step let along buying something we feel celebrates the woman that we are. But recently I experienced that the resistance to even just trying on a style of dress I felt I would love to ware but have held back from was so exhausting! Compared to how settled and gorgeous I felt just going for it (with a nudge of encouragement from another) and trying on a dress. It is a real drain on us to not celebrate ourselves.
That is so true Leigh – holding back our expression, whether it is by the way we move, talk or dress etc. is utterly draining.
I have been immensely inspired by Natalie Benhayon about how we can choose our clothes to reflect and confirm the beauty we are inside. It is gorgeous reading the unfolding journey of discovery of that here.
Dorothy your relationship with clothes and underwear makes perfect sense when you look at the circumstances in which you grew up. The funny thing is though that I grew up in an affluent family that didn’t have to worry about money and yet from a very young age I have had a spendthrift mentality. As a teenager I used to wear the bras that my Mum threw out, not because I overly liked them or even that they fitted me well but that I couldn’t bear them being thrown out when there was so much ‘wear left in them’. This for me confirms what I sense deep within my body and that is that we are born many times over and bring certain traits and characteristics with us from one life to the next.
Dorothy, i love looking at your photo, the joy in your eyes and cheeks are so cheeky; their emanating love entirely irresistible!
I was recently at a Well-being for Women Forum run by Spherical Living. The space was offered for us a large group of women to explore our thoughts, attitudes and experiences associated with age. It was a profound moment of realisation of the many beliefs that can run our life and also how we can be deeply inspiring to one another when we choose to honestly reflect and share our experiences. This website is full of such inspiration as is this gorgeous blog. Thank you.
I understand what you mean Dorothy about pretty underwear being way down on the priory list… I was in a department store recently and looked at the pretty undies, and then at the price and thought, nah I’ll wait until the old ones have worn out… or maybe I will replace the well worn out one’s one by one, budget allowing, which will then feel like a real treat! Thank-you for sharing, you are a very inspiring woman.
I used to wear lovely underwear for a partner because that was what you did! Now I wear lovely underwear for me first.
Me too Sandra. I am currently without a partner but would never dream of wearing anything but beautiful underwear. Have always loved gorgeous underwear right from the start. My mother got me my first rather practical bra, but I discovered through my best friend that there were pretty bras with rosebuds embroidered on them, so thenceforth after that, it was all glorious underwear for me.
As the producer of a more practical kind of underwear for women I will have to put in a bid for underpants that may not look as pretty, but support and honour the body. Equally valuable for us women, and far more loving than shapewear! For ladies who are interested visit http://www.hummingbirdpie.com : ))
I was only looking at this website myself recently Victoria, and as far as I am concerned, anything that supports our precious body in such a nurturing way deserves the label of pretty! Well done for such an innovate product, they look super comfortable!
Dorothy your photo speaks of your newfound joy and love of life, you are ageless, alive and your story is deeply inspiring for all women.
Your story is truly inspirational and it is because you chose pretty underwear to confirm what you had already established and felt from within, that you are an amazing, worthy and beautiful woman. It is only when we make purchases to deliver a notion of beauty and worthiness to us that they don’t deliver what we expect – they might make us feel better short-term, but nothing has truly changed on the inside and sooner or later we are back in the same starting blocks.
Dorothy what your sharing has really highlighted for me is the fact that all women, regardless of ethnicity, religion or age, share the same energetic quality. It’s the one pool of energy from which we are all from, which really emphasises how unnatural and destructive it is for women to be competitive with one another.
“When my marriage ended 40 years later my self esteem and confidence was non-existent, even more so as the marriage had not been happy, and at times very abusive, so I did not think that I deserved to have nice things” – after such a foundation, 40 years of marriage, wow Dorothy not many women would take this decision, and shows what inner-strength you found, and the resilience you have in re-finding love, to celebrating it today with lovely underwear, lovely clothes and – the loveliness of yourself at age 86, AMAZING!
Dorothy, you are such a delight, reading your blog I’m beaming as I feel your journey to being and knowing you are beautiful and living that in your life. You look amazing and are such an inspiration and now I see how we can be and celebrate our beauty in our 80’s – something to look forward to, thank you.
Yes I agree Monica, Dorothy is a huge inspiration and clear evidence that we have a great deal to celebrate as we get older, as proven by the twinkle in her eye and delightful beauty so evident in her photo.
Dorothy, this blog also reminds me of how much we can deny ourselves as women (mainly due to lack of self worth) and how healing it can be to give ourselves permission to do something/buy something etc.
About 2 years ago I finally purchased a dressing table with a mirror. I had never had one before, and had actually never even let myself consider getting one (it just felt too far away from my reach and then this would have meant that I had to admit really being a woman!)…Anyways when I finally had the table in place, I sat down at the table and cried. It felt like such a special thing to have this table but it also felt like I had broken some kind of a pact – something like a make up table is not what would have been classified as an absolute necessity – because of my practical upbringing, it would have been seen as a waste of money in addition to being a very frivolous choice – something to shake your head at instead of celebrating it! But it was like I was finally allowed to admit that had always wanted one – not because I was hugely into make up etc, but more so because of how it does stand as a symbol of how every women deserves to take some time to love themselves up…this is what it gave me permission to do more of, and of course I am learning to deepen this continuously now! Thank you again Dorothy – how wonderful is it to deeply appreciate ourselves and the steps we take in embracing the woman within!
Beautiful Henrietta, I see the dressing table like a throne, full permission to honour and appreciate oneself in this way is super powerful – as Dorothy cried when she purchased her first proper lingerie and you as you sat at your dressing table – knowing we are worth it is a mighty feeling.
Dorothy, this is absolutely gorgeous as a sharing – well done to stepping it up with the undies and even more so to sharing it to inspire other women too! I must say that I too have had a very practical underwear approach wearing simple plain cotton undies most of my life, and had only one or two off lace underwear that I would save for the ‘special occasion’ about once or twice per year (note that this was never an occasion that was special because of me not to celebrate me!)… but over the last year or two I have actually bit the bullet and spent some money on lace underwear (even though it was not my birthday nor Christmas!) which I absolutely LOVE now and just like you, Dorothy, it is a daily reminder for me of how lovely I actually am and that it is simply about embracing this deeper each day!
I agree Henrietta, isnt it funny that we often save clothes, make up, perfume, underwear, shoes for special occasions rather than celebrating ourselves when we feel to
Spot on Rebecca – So many times ‘special’ clothes sit in the cupboard waiting to be used, but then almost get forgotten! I recall as a 12 year old I had a very special dress that I loved and I got to wear for Christmas. And then back in the cupboard it went, and I thought that the best thing was to save it for next Christmas. You can imagine my disappointment a year later when it was too small for me to wear!!! And then how I wished I had just worn it so much more often! I have had that happen as an adult too, where I save a special dress and then when I have pulled it out, it has mildew stains and smell on it from the humidity which cannot be removed! Again a loss from trying to hide my beauty in stead of celebrating it!
Well said Henrietta – I have also experienced when I have not dressed up or worn what I really felt to wear, holding back for what every reason and gone to an event, dinner or out to the shops and seen another woman who has not held back and I get to feel the disappointment of not wearing something that makes me feel great, which we can do every single day
The loveliness of this post is something I keep wanting to come back to. It is so gentle and warm. Its simplicity and sphericalness is very beholding and sweet. Thank you again Dorothy.
I love your cheekiness and playfulness Dorothy. It is very inspiring to read that no matter what our age, we can return and rediscover all those natural qualities we truly are. By the way those eyes just radiate beauty and grace.
It warmed my cockles no end reading this blog and I love love love that you have discovered your true beauty and starting to live it in your 80’s. You are never too old to change, you are a true inspiration.
To feel the loving appreciation you are holding yourself with is truly inspirational, thank you for sharing this with us All. We are so worthy of appreciating ourselves in the simplest of ways, even when our environment isn’t readily supporting this, at some point we can choose it for ourselves.
This is a gorgeous blog. I have always been pulled to pretty underwear no matter who is there to see it – and I really feel the difference in my body when I put on underwear that supports me. I get to appreciate myself a little more. Then that sexiness is felt and I can express this rather than using underwear to look sexy.
You sum it up beautifully in your final paragraph Dorothy where you say that the way you feel about yourself is the best ever…that’s what is important in your blog. The pretty underwear is a reflection and a celebration of how you feel about yourself.
I often wonder why many of us live in a way that we have little money. Depending on your circumstances, it can be harder or easier to improve one’s earnings capacity but in most cases the opportunity is there if we only look. That question then is why so many of us don’t look.
This was a joy and touching to read, reading your blog and seeing your truly gorgeous photo was also deeply humbling. And a gentle reminder to me to buy some pretty underwear and this has been long over due.
Buying cute, new underwear is just like tidying office drawers or going through old stuff in the attic – incredibly satisfying and a huge confidence boost; feeling like you’re looking after every part of the house/yourself and totally on it!
It’s incredible how many of us feel like our parents didn’t want to know us, or connect with us. I am so glad I have let go of the hurt I was in from years of feeling I wasn’t good enough because I didn’t meet the ideals I needed to, in my perception.
Now I don’t feel that at all, I feel blessed that I have cleared the hurt I was carrying.
Many women cling onto their style of dressing for protection. The inner voice, like yours was, says ” I can’t possibly dress like that I would feel so exposed and conspicuous” and “I don’t dress like that, it’s not my style”. It is obvious from your life story Dorothy, that your style came from necessity and upbringing and wasn’t really the true you. Thank God for friends who encourage us to find that “true us” and let it shine out in expression through the clothes we wear., and of course other ways as well. It all comes together, the confidence, the claiming of self, the smile, the ability to experiment and be playful. You are a true inspiration for all women but especially for older women, showing them it is possible to change, even in your 70’s and 80’s.
How can anyone resist the beautiful and unfolding woman that is Dorothy Carlisle? You are certainly showing us all that it is never too late to change Dorothy – I love the honesty and tender way that your words explore who you are as a woman – and reveal that we all have this essence that is forever within when we allow ourselves the opportunity to open our hearts and become willing to change.
An absolute joy to read. Thank you Dorothy, reading of your beautiful transformation I felt warmed from the inside out. Inspirational for us all.
I love the amazing claiming of yourself Dorothy – from the heading of the blog and all the way. It is easy to feel that your words are lived in full and that there is a deep appreciation of yourself and who you truly are. Very inspirational.
Agreed Eva – the feeling of deep appreciation for the beauty that now shines is tangible in this touching sharing.
Absolutely love this blog. After reading this for the first time my daughter and I were out shopping and both agreed that we felt very inspired by what you had written Dorothy, and decided to try on dresses that we wished we could wear but never felt confident enough to do so, and it was a great experience and we learned a lot about ourselves and the beliefs we were holding onto. Big thank you.
Dorothy your beauty is ageless.
Everything is reflecting us back to ourselves, including our underwear.
Dorothy you are precious beyond belief.
What a gorgeous photo of you Dorothy and what an inspiration you are for all women showing that at 86 we are still learning about ourselves. Thankyou for sharing so openly your story.
These are life changing moments when we give ourselves permission to have or do something previously denied. You have openly shared so much of yourself in this blog Dorothy and its very endearing.
Dorothy, when i look back and review my own underwear choices over the years, their styles or types, materials, amount of support for the breast, colours, shapes, silhouettes – i can definitely observe and say that these choices have changed and transformed the more i’ve changed and transformed as a woman towards an accepting of myself and also my female body. When they was no attention to such celebration, underwear choices were rather boring, mundane, non-descript, functional and very much a reflection of how i saw myself in life and lived it too!
A smile that comes from deep inside has to be the very best face lift one could possibly have!!!! I love this as it does lift the face in the lightest, brightest possible way. Well claimed Dorothy. I was looking at a young woman the other day who had had a lot of Botox around her forehead and in her lips. When she was irritated with her very young and nagging child you could feel her irritation but her face could not change due to the Botox. I was amazed at just how cemented her face was.I would prefer a ‘Dorothy face lift’ any day as not only is it beautiful it also comes with so much joy . . . the joy of knowing who you truly are beyond the physical.
What an inspiration you are Dorothy. For women who have just realised that age is no barrier to what we wear, if we cant wear what we love to now when will we ? There are many things that I love jewellery, and clothes that sit in my wardrobe waiting for the right occasion for me to wear them! But the right occasion is now if I feel to wear them!
What I love so much about this piece of writing, is the way you walk us through your life, so that we may observe and without judgement relate to your experiences, which for all women is very precious.
This is delightful turn around and one that many of us can be inspired about. It is not so much about the underwear itself or any other belongings, but the fact that we feel we don’t deserve something. We can be our own harshest enemy, yet when we choose to open up even a little we can be pleasantly surprised as beautifully shown in this blog.
Dorothy, I was deeply touched reading your story. This is a true ‘rags to riches’ tale, the rags being the lack of self-worth that consumed you and the riches being the true wealth and beauty you found within that you were then able to accept, appreciate, celebrate and share. You have inspired us all, thank you 💛.
Such a gorgeous story showing that age is no barrier to change.
I love returning to this blog Dorothy and celebrate that through a simple choice you re-connected and claimed who you truly are and have always been. In your own words – ‘I have come to know that I am an amazing and beautiful woman’. The power of self care and self love is life changing and what it brings to the world as a reflection changes more that just one life. Thanks Dorothy.
I love this blog, Dorothy. You are an inspiration for all women, of all ages. You go girlfriend!
Thank you Dorothy for this inspiring blog – Out with the old and on with the new – a beautiful analogy for life and releasing all the old emotional patterns and living in a new and natural way.
“I have loved throwing out the old and replacing it with something new – in fact, now I love opening my wardrobe door to be greeted by my wonderful and colourful clothes…”
Love reading this, showing us all that we are all worth what is showing our inner beauty out.
Deeply inspiring Dorothy. I find myself making excuses for not buying beautiful underwear, usually due to prioritising other things – after all I have basic everyday underwear so there’s no need right? Wrong! It feels important to be expressing ourselves fully in whatever we wear so what am I really communicating to myself if i always prioritise other things over the clothes I wear right next to my precious body. If I’m wearing cheap and practical, underwear ‘that will do’, then am I not saying to myself I am not worth spending money on beautiful underwear?
I do the same thing Lucy, I too prioritise other things over buying new clothes or nice underwear that I wear close to my body and lately I have been feeling to splash out, but still I haven’t… such an ingrained pattern of mine to go into, the ones I have will do….. ! But the counter is to ask myself, but do they really support me now – no they don’t is the answer! Today I am going shopping!
Isn’t it gorgeous when our friends support us in doing what is so uplifting and inspiring for us and when we are able to say yes to what we really know we want but have not allowed ourselves to do before? I love your openness and connection to your own true beauty Dorothy, it is a gift to us all.
Dorothy you are a total inspiration! To be 86 and writing about pretty underwear is just so gorgeous and shows us that it doesn’t matter what age we are, we always have a choice to feel and be beautiful.
What a beautiful transformation Dorothy. Feeling sexy and supporting that with what we wear, is for women of all ages. I love how you are shattering the commonly held beliefs of what it is to be an older woman.
What a turn around Dorothy. If we have had a whole life of wearing practical clothes it is really quite a moment when we open ourselves to the possibility of wearing pretty clothes. I can feel your joy in the process and a sense of valuing yourself in a new way. Thank you for sharing.
WOW Dorothy you are a real inspiration and a role model showing how precious, delicate and beautiful each woman is regardless if they are old or young. Your blog made it even more adorable for me to get older as you have showed me that we are never to old to change ourself or our styling – how wonderful is that!
Dorothy you have inspired me to take a long look at my underwear drawer. I too love opening it and seeing all the colours, patterns and the bits of delicate lace, a far cry from the days when I was almost embarrassed to open it as what greeted me was definitely not pretty. I feel a pretty underwear shop coming on – thanks for the inspiration.
We all need friends like yours who can call us up when we are selling ourself short and nudge us to expressing and living all that we are. This is a great gift we can each offer to others in our lives.
I love your ‘wonderful and natural face lift’ Dorothy; nothing quite beats a smile from a woman who knows her own beauty. Thank you for sharing ❤
Yes, that is true – the means for looking after yourself more, to be more loving towards oneself and others are pretty much always physically available at any moment like in this beautiful story about clothing.
What a beautiful expression of love this blog is.
It is glorious when a woman comes to truly value herself.
Spot on Lyndy – nothing can replace us valuing ourselves first and foremost, and the cool thing is that it does not end here as the valuing will have a ripple effect all around to everyone around us!
We need more of our elders to reflect their true beauty and wisdom for all to see and feel… even the young are inspired by this – they need this reflection too.
Paula it’s so true what you say. It’s no wonder that women dread getting older, there are so few ‘Dorothy’s’ to reflect to the rest of us the unbridled beauty of an older woman in her true glory.
I agree Paula, we need more reflections of older men and women not with drawring from society, but continuing to grow and deepen their love.
I agree Ariana, no matter our experiance of life, there is always space to make choices that honor and deeply care for us.
Beauty shining from the inside out… and reflected in what you are wearing Dorothy. Inspirational for all women of all ages.
And there is no stopping it. This beauty from within is an always emanating spark… that is greatly enhanced by the honouring and sweetness of knowing we are worth pretty underwear!
This reveals we are worth respecting, valuing and honouring at any age – it is never too late for change.
Thank you Dorothy, you are a total inspiration and proof that we have a choice let go of anything that holds us back, and shine as the beautiful woman we are.
You prove Dorothy that it’s never too late to make loving changes for ourselves, and how that makes you feel and look so different. Age is a strange thing, it makes us think in a line from young to old, rather than understanding the process is a circle of life and death and life again repeating itself continuously.
I agree Gill – there is no invisible line that is crossed where you become to old to love yourself or buy pretty things, for as you say life is a cycle, one in which we can constantly learn and grow and change.
Thank you Dorothy, for this beautiful down-to-earth real blog.
I can totally understand that you would shed tears of joy once you allowed yourself to buy what you truly deserved.
Your beauty and grace shines out of your photo. Your story is hugely inspiring, as how many people do not feel they deserve ‘beautiful underwear’ and all that symbolises? What imbues the inspiration in your story is the simple, open-hearted way you tell it.
I can relate to what you say here about not wanting to spend money on myself to buy nice clothes that fit me well which I used to do more in the past. I don’t do it as much anymore but still squirm a bit when spending money on something really lovely for myself even if I really need it e.g. clothes. So more to develop there and look at in terms of self worth building!
Thank you for sharing so openly your story Dorothy. It is amazing how if we get told by the world often enough that we are not worth much then after a while we start to believe it and low self- worth sets in.
Dorothy I just loved reading about your life this morning, what an inspiration you are. Reading your blog I just realised I was a single parent for many years and from that I am still careful with money only spending on the practicals which feels rather limiting now. I feel to buy some lovely new underwear….Keep shining Dorothy!
‘So for women who do not know, or think that they do not deserve pretty underwear, just know that YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.’ I love the wisdom and the discovery that we are all special and deserve to be celebrated!
What shines through your blog is your gentleness and grace Dorothy, and your appreciation for things that many of us would take for granted. “It probably sounds silly but after I paid for them I burst into tears, as in my 64 years, I had never had anything so beautiful.” This really made me stop and appreciate my life Dorothy, thank you.
Most people are buying stuff to fill the emptiness and add something from outside to what is missing inside. You don´t fill a void with clothes but support yourself to express and bring to life what was dormant inside for most of your life thus the outer becomes an extension and confirmation of the inner.
I love that you are changing the way you dress and care for yourself at your age. Many believe that once you are older, you are set in your ways and that is just how it is. You are an inspiration Dorothy. Keep it up!
What a beautiful photo Dorothy. Your eyes shine like the heavens – never have I seen eyes so shiny in one of your age. And that dress and pearls look fresh and lovely on you. I love that it is a joy for you to look into your wardrobe and pick what you will wear. No more plain and functional for you!
So sweetly touching Dorothy, yes indeed you do deserve pretty things, no matter what life shows us, your inner beauty can’t be denied,
With much love
Felicity
Dorothy this is so beautiful. You have made me smile 🙂
Just gorgeous to read this and also to see the photo of you. I used to wear clothes that did not make much of myself ( I used to hide), some times I ‘dressed up’ but used to leave that for what I called ‘special’ occasions. Now everyday is important and so my clothes reflect that, not that they are all really expensive, but they are chosen with care, to support and celebrate my beauty inside and out.
Too right Susan, I’ve just come across an awesome website, http://www.hummingbirdpie.com, check it out for uber practical, supportive ‘longerpants’, soft, comfortable undies for women that come in lots of colours and look so pretty. I may just treat myself, and no I’m not on commission, just felt to share 😉
Thank you for sharing your story, so simple but also very relevant. These small acts of love towards oursevles are part of developing that relationship, one where we provide ourselves all the love and fullfillment we need
The simplicity in which you have lived and the little money you have had in your life and how you have come to make wise and loving use of it is super inspiring. Many who earn more undervalue what they earn simply because they undervalue themselves.
I can’t help but smile when I scroll down and see your lovely photo Dorothy. A women who has claimed herself and her beauty, inside and out, is one women nearer to all of us claiming ourselves as women, and returning to our true divinity and sacredness once again. Thank-you.
Dorothy what I love about what you are sharing is that you have found a joy in life and an appreciation of your obvious gorgeousness and that it is never too late to start appreciating oneself! Thank you so much for sharing your gorgeousness here, I so loved reading this blog.
I loved reading this too Michelle, in fact I keep coming back to it, as Dorothy’s story inspires me to realise that however much I may delay the connection to myself as a women, there is always another day and another moment to re-connect to my beauty and sacredness, and that age is absolutely no barrier to feeling and looking great and reflecting that back to others.
You have moved so much in this lifetime to feel worthy enough to have the pretty underwear for yourself. It is great to appreciate this. well done Dorothy, the joy is palpable. Then.. ‘what’s next?’ The opportunity is there for us all to continually grow.
I agree Gill, there is much joy in Dorothy’s story and her reflection is something to be appreciated. What my underwear draw tells me I don’t know! Pretty much all black and some white, practical and plain… maybe that’s how I see myself, so time for a re-think – I feel!
Dorothy, the dress in the photo is beautiful
Indeed it is! Colourful, feminine and pretty – and could it be the radiance of the wearer that is shining through the clothing that is the real beauty.
Dorothy, it is very plain to feel from reading this how very much you deserve to look after yourself. I found your story most humbling and beautiful to read. Great to hear you now understand how deserving of love you are, and what a great place to start with underwear and other clothing.
That’s the crux of the matter somewhat, especially for me, appreciating and knowing that we deserve to be the love that we are, both feeling it on the inside and then emanating it out to others to feel on the outside. Of course, we are not going to parade around in our underwear, unless we’re superman of course, but if we feel lovely on all levels, then that loveliness shines through all the layers, including that one we call ‘skin’.
Thank you Dorothy you are just gorgeous! What an inspiration you are to all women- I now am off to the underwear shop!
Not forgetting Dorothy that you have also bought yourself now a beautiful chest of draws to nestle your beautiful underwear in. Support all round for yourself and for your home which is also reflecting your beauty as a welcoming nest.
I love the thought of underwear being nestled in a nest tucked away in a chest of drawers, it makes them sound so precious, doesn’t it, like little treasures. Me, I keep my bras in the airing cupboard, and before I put one on I warm it up on the radiator, now that IS nurturing and feels so delicious. Far from the days when they used to get tangled in a draw and washed until they fell to pieces and turned a lighter shade of grey (pun intended), now I treat them with more respect, just like I do my body.
Just these days someone recommended me to look at how I dress, if it is actually appreciative of who I am today or if I hold onto what I know and am familiar with, ie the picture I have of myself for decades. It got me pondering and feeling into it. There is some resistance to change and question the comfort of familiarity but why hold onto something that is not serving any longer in a truly cherishing and valuing way, neither myself nor the people I meet? It straight down comes to self-worth and responsibility.
This was a heart warming blog to read. I too used to be very practical. I would happily spend lots of money on the home or the children, but would feel it wasteful to spend money on myself for nice things like underwear. Not any more. Its inspiring how you share that its never to late change the relationship we have with ourselves and see how beautiful and worth it we are.
Like you Debra, I used to spend as little as I could on undies, putting everyone else’s needs first, and usually buying them from the supermarket – they never fit properly and were sometimes quite uncomfortable. One day my partner gave me £50, quite a lot in those days, and I bought a lovely lacy bra and knickers set in red, it felt so indulgent I am still boring everyone with the story! But I wore that bra until it (almost) fell to pieces, but I always felt special wearing it and after that I made the choice to pay a little more and have my bras fitted and bought undies that actually fit in all the right places! And I agree, we are so worth it.
I know what you mean about hiding “behind an artificial smile” Dorothy, as that is exactly what I used to do too, because if I was smiling no one was going to ask how I was, the smile was saying it all. If only they had been able to feel what my body was saying – as it definitely wasn’t smiling much of the time! Today when I smile it comes from deep inside me and expresses the joy I am feeling in that moment, so very different from the artificial and dishonest smiles of the past.
Such a lovely story Dorothy. Very inspiring. You are never too old to honour the woman within by dressing how you feel- beauty-full! And indeed I can feel your true smile – gorgeous- no botox required.
A smile from the inside out, showering little blessings to us all.
Dorothy, I love how you moved beyond a lifetime of being practical to having beautiful things for you, how you allowed yourself to be taken by the hand by your friend to buy those beautiful things, and how you went there and began to explore this for you, what worked for you and showed the beauty you naturally are.
Dear Dorothy, what an incredible inspiration you are. To be celebrating yourself so gloriously at 86 is just incredible, you look more like 66! Thankyou for your openness and sharing your story.
Dorothy I’ve loved this story from practical to pretty. In fact underwear was a great place to start to build confidence and the knowing that you were worth buying and wearing pretty things. It seems like the underwear was the bridge to openly wearing lovely clothes that reflect your reclaimed beauty.
Wow this is just beautiful to read. A reminder that age does not matter – it is never ever to late to love ourselves. This is just so gorgeous as I can feel the deep appreciation you now hold for yourself as a woman Dorothy, and the honesty you share here is so refreshing.
I love reading about women really celebrating how gorgeous they really are, in our essence we are glorious and when that is connected to we can’t help but shine brightly. Why wouldn’t we want to dress in a way that confirms this beauty.
Dorothy what i adore about this post is that in a relatively short space of time, and with the active choice to self-love and care – that you’ve been able to wipe out almost 80 odd years of a life held in such poor frugality to now one of true richness…that keeps expanding. Start as you mean to go on, as the saying goes! This is so fantastic.
Thank you Dorothy for such a touching story. At 36, I’m beginning to uncover the beauty within and am discovering the joys of wearing clothing that compliments and supports my beauty, from the inside out!
What wonderful story Dorothy, of the way we can go around and around for years in a certain reduced way of living and then choose to exit that age. Very inspiring. I so agree that the smile from who you are is the greatest face-lift anyone could ever have – no Botox needed – and it lifts the whole world around you: ‘ Now my smile comes from deep inside of me and in turn that makes my face so much softer and younger looking; a most wonderful and natural face lift!’
This story simply shows that beauty has nothing to do with age or outside appearances but the beauty we feel within ourself and which others are then able to feel and appreciate too. And how wonderful that because you value and honour yourself part of your self-care regime now includes buying pretty underwear and clothing. Thank-you Dorothy for sharing your inspiring story.
Wow Dorothy! That’s incredible! Thank you for realising just how worth it you are and the fact that you are an elder makes no difference what so ever! It is never too late to start to love yourself. Go you!
Dorothy, your humility and deep appreciation can be felt and the depth of innate beauty residing in each of us just waiting to be claimed is so clear. Whilst it may feel like it has taken many years for your beauty to show on the outside, I can feel that it has been bubbling away on the inside waiting to be exposed. This has been so beautiful to share in and touches many others who have or are living with similar current limitations. Such a simple choice to buy some pretty underwear has brought such precious outcomes from within.
Thank you Dorothy for sharing your story, it warmed my heart deeply, as i felt the depth of the woman you have embraced and yes you so deserve to be the woman you are. Very inspiring, the beauty, grace and love that as woman is, is timeless and ageless.
What a lovely story – goes to show you’re never too old to try new things, particularly when it comes down to loving yourself. And it’s also awesome that I’m reading a blog post on here written by an 86 year-old, very inspiring.
Beautiful Dorothy and mind breaking. Feeling your growth and honesty about your clothing, but merely so your way of being in life, is very very beautiful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all.
Very inspiring Dorothy to see your gorgeous face shining so brightly, and to know that opening your underwear draw and wardrobe is still a joy for you now.
I was very touched by your story as it is similar to my mums – coming from an older generation where it was common to have very little, can create very ingrained ideas around what we are worth. Something as simple an seemingly insignificant as underwear gets pushed to the bottom of the pile of what is important, and yet if possible, spending a small amount more and getting something that is more than just practical but also pretty, confortable and personal to you. I love to wear particular pairs of underwear, knowing no one but me will see them.
There are so many pictures and unspoken rules about what we can or can’t do at a certain age. We can choose whatever we want to and it is so beautiful that your friend encouraged you to make this loving change for yourself and how you have enjoyed. What else is there for re-imprinting in your life Dorothy? We can do anything.
A delightful-ending story Dorothy. Is this how it is? The more awareness we have the more likely we are to make a better choice. Life becomes less harsh because we choose it so. We always have a choice and that is the level of richness we allow from our hearts. We are all rich equally so.
It is gorgeous reading about people turning round restrictive thoughts and beliefs of a life-time with the support and encouragement of friends. It is such a great testament to the fact that we always have that spark within us just waiting for our choice to re-ignite it and also that each of us can have a huge impact on others through the reflection of how we live ourself and the loving confirmation we offer.
Dear Dorothy this is pure inspiration and breaking conciousnous and believes its so beautyfull. I started using tights havent so much just recently more and more and love the ones with the stars on it 🙂 I remember my grandma in the elderly home and once supported her in getting dressed with her tights and now I know why she loved them so much. So agree with you that its time to feel and express our beauty and claim that we deserve it and thats OK to en-joy it well ourselves. Love your blog. Thanks for sharing. With love Nadine
We can sometimes get so used to plain and simple and that that is fine and enough even though we might now have the money to buy something new, that we keep at the plain and simple. So a great friend like you have is very welcome and needed at times to shake us out of something that does not fit us anymore, literally and figuratively.
This was beautiful to read Dorothy how from practical and functional to accepting and really enjoying that you are totally worth clothing that reflects how beautiful you are.
This is such a beautiful story, Dorothy, to be shared far and wide, as it is something we can all relate to as women in the process of learning to love and cherish ourselves.
I am 60 next month so a lot younger than you, but I too only in the last years started feeling great about my body and wearing and enjoying gorgeous clothes. Like you I absolutely love opening my wardrobe, delight in all my beautiful clothes and thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon have come to re-connect to the powerful, beautiful, wise and precious woman that I am.
Your story is very inspiring Dorothy and shows that age is not relevant when it comes to living a full life and emanating our inner beauty.
I love how your friend took you by your hand and simply went shopping with you, helping you to get out of the belief that you didn’t deserve beautiful things.
Dorothy, I just loved reading your blog – what an inspiration you are to all, let alone the Ageing Fraternity. The thing that struck me most I feel is the tenderness by which all the responses and comments to your blog reflected – and it seems to me that the love and the tenderness that is innately within you and expressed so joyfully was being reflected right back to you without disruption or separation.
This is honest, open and beautiful Dorothy. As you have made the choices to drop away the old and the practical, you have also been dropping away the hurt, pain and beliefs that are not who you are. You are free to shine and shining is what you are.
How awesome is it Dorothy to know that even at age 86 you are actually enjoying you and your body and expressing that through your lingerie. I absolutely love it. Go Dorothy.
I love the sense of celebration I get from reading this blog, a celebration of the women you are and a celebration of all women. Its very confirming to read.
amazing and truly heartfelt blog – thankyou.
Dorothy reading your blog again today, I was reminded about a young colleague at work yesterday, that came up to me and said that a customer had just said to her that a she had a beautiful smile, and she was having a hard time accepting this, and it made her feel very uncomfortable. She has just come back to work after having an operation for sever endometriosis. She is 20 years old, young and beautiful yet she couldn’t accept the compliment because she doesn’t value and appreciate herself and what she brings. Until we can feel the beauty that lies within us all I feel the many women’s ailments that we have today will continue to rise.
In dressing ourselves with pretty and delicate clothes we honour the fact that we are equal delicate and pretty from the inside first.
Very inspiring blog which shows us it is never too late to change and how irrelevant age is when it comes to re-connecting to our inner beauty. And when we do, we inspire so many others to, as you have Dorothy
beautiful sharing – how we can get stuck in self-perpetuating cycles that become like our very own self-imposed prison. all it takes is a moment of awareness though and we can see the walls of that prison lit up, and the open door we can walk out of any moment we choose.
I just love reading your story Dorothy… it is inspiring. We are so worth treasuring as women and celebrating the fact. There is a sparkle in you eye that shows the loveliness you have re-connected to. Thank you.
Thank you Dorothy for sharing your life story and how it impacted on your clothing choices and how you felt about yourself. I am sure many women could relate to your experiences. When I was growing up money was tight and Mum would make simple dresses for herself out of pretty coloured material, and when the dress was no good it would be turned into pillow cases. I also had to wear op shop clothes as a girl and was teased and bullied about it. Only recently during a Chakra-Puncture session I realised I still held in my body the feelings of awkwardness and not fitting in associated around those second hand clothes. I am still learning to not dress down but to dress to how I feel, and also to allow myself to celebrate the beauty within by dressing in what I would normally consider my best clothing.
“I am now feeling so much better about my body than I have ever done, and at 86 I can honestly say that this is the best I have ever felt in my life; and I’m still wearing pretty underwear!” – wah, what happens when you live from the inside-out Dorothy : )) …you get to wear gorgeous underwear to match the glorious outer wear!!!
So gorgeous to read Dorothy, I can feel the joy in you choosing to see yourself as the beauty you are, and by buying clothing that reflects you. Once I became a mother my whole outlook and perception of what I should or should’nt wear was pretty full-on. I had beliefs that I could not look sexy and especially not wear lingerie, pretty lacey bras or underpants. Everything needed to be practical and mummy society approved. Crazy looking back on it now since I gave that belief up and have gorgeous lingerie.
What an amazing, inspiring story. Thank you, Dorothy. When we do not appreciate ourselves for who we truly are as the starting point, we pretty much set our life up to confirm that lack of self-love, self-worth reflecting back at us – but it is never too late to reverse that.
What a beautiful sharing and very inspiring for others. How lovely that you allowed yourself to feel that beauty in you, began to appreciate yourself. It is easy for women to give up on themselves as they get older, I know of so many. But what you have shared will definitely inspire others.
‘YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS, just like me.’ These words really touched me as I still slip into the belief that new underwear is a luxury and not a necessary so it will just have to wait. I feel like you have given me a nudge to create the space and budget to go shopping. Perhaps I should take a friend with me too.
How totally inspiring Dorothy! This is a story to be told far and wide (Have you contacted the Joy of Ageing Esoterically website?) I love how you have awakened to your great beauty through the help of your wise friends, of Serge and Natalie Behayon and, most importantly, your own choice to go there. I have to say that, personally, pretty underwear and clothes have been most important to me ever since I could toddle on two legs. I will never forget my first really lovely bra with tiny blue rosebuds embroidered on them bought from the upstairs section of the one department store at that time in Lismore. Huge excitement. Even when having a hard time economically I still get beautiful and expensive underwear!
It’s a real joy to read how you feel about yourself now Dorothy and how your relationship with clothes and your expression has changed, thank you!
Dorothy you well and truly illustrate the saying ‘It’s never too late to learn’. Many people have given up by their 50s and 60s (or perhaps even earlier) claiming they’ll ‘never change’. Self-development is clearly possible at any age or stage, if the heart and mind are in sync and willing.
You are gorgeous Dorothy, what an incredible and valuable story you have shared. love the dress you are wearing in the photograph, it is so vibrant and full of colour and I can just imagine that the rest of your wardrobe being equally so. You are an inspiration to many; you are not your typical 86 year old lady.
Dorothy you are just gorgeous – thank you for sharing your story. And you are right, all women need to feel free to reflect the natural beauty they are – locating that felt sense of beauty and self-worth is the key!
“Now my smile comes from deep inside me”. How gorgeous is that Dorothy, thank you for all that you have written, a true inspiration for me and for all.
Dorothy, your story is so sweet and touched my heart, it also made me laugh out loud when you realised that at the age of 70+ you were certainly NOT an old woman when your friend retorted ‘“You need to get out of your old woman’s fashion and get into more modern clothes.” Friends are precious aren’t they, especially when they tell the truth! You look gorgeous and are a wonderful inspiration to us all as women that it is never too late to realise how beautiful and precious we are and that we all deserve beautiful undies and clothing that reflect how beautiful we are on the inside.
Dearest Dorothy,
Wow what a beautiful story written by an even more beautiful woman! I loved reading every word. You are so inspiring! Having read this I now know that it is never too later to change anything ever! The changes you have made in your life is testimony to this and an inspiration to us all.
Wow Dorothy, what an amazing sharing. Thank you so much! I love how your eyes sparkle and the joy expressed in your blog is touching me deeply, a true celebration of the beautiful woman you are and a true support for all women to live their beauty inside out.
I love this story Dorothy, I grew up sailing around the world and we never had much money. People would feel sorry for us at times and I remember someone bought me a pair of shoe and a dress in Israel but most of all, our clothes were hand me downs and as you say practical. I also had a strong belief that you only wear cotton knickers as they last longer so it was not until I was in my thirties until I got my first pair of lace knickers and I love them. It was only in the last 7 years that I started to buy new clothes for myself and that was a massive change and then taking it to a whole new level and buying quality rather than just the cheapest. It really does feel lovely to know that I am worth it. It really does feel great to not be stuck in an old belief that all I can afford is the second hand shops or I am saving the environment by wearing someone else’s hand me downs.
Wow, it is never too late to start valuing and appreciating oneself ! It is in the little and everyday things that we either develop a lack or an abundance of self-worth and value. That makes it a very applicable and self.lovong task to practise and celebrate.
It’s a very brave thing, to put yourself into the world in this way in so many ways. I love this article for so many reasons and appreciate that a woman of this era would come out and support everyone like this. It is amazing to see what we carry from our childhood and how the world isn’t or doesn’t equip us to deal with any of it, let alone let it go. Universal Medicine supports here and brings freedom, true freedom to us in the form of how we feel otherwise we just continue to go around and around in circles repeating and playing out the same behaviours. This article clearly shows how much we take on from others and don’t stand in what we feel, the truth of it.
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. As I read it, it made me realise again how important it is to be open with everyone we meet for we never know what they have been through. That when we stay open we are then able to see the truth in another and how important it is that we look beyond the external behaviours and bring understanding and get to know them.
Yes MW, that is such a great point, to stay open, we do not know where others have been but there is always a beauty and love in them even if they don’t live it, and to be with another knowing that it is there always, and that it’s for us to show the beauty we are no matter what.
This has brought tears of appreciation to my eyes – thank you for sharing Dorothy. We are so very worth the ‘pretty’ choices for ourselves, the choices that show we deeply care about the quality of how our worthiness is lived in our everyday lives.
I have noticed that the care, appreciation and love I hold myself in sets a wonderful foundation from which I can express the truth of my heart more fully. Thank you for sharing your experience of expanding relationship with yourself reflected in your choice of underwear and clothes.
This is gorgeous to feel how you have accepted you are so lovely, inside and out Dorothy. I remember ‘hand me downs’ from my sister, and didn’t think I minded them, but do also remember feeling special when I did get a new dress. These days I can treat myself to some lovely undies too but I can still save them for special occasions. I will be more aware of that and wear them more often to celebrate our loveliness inside and out, thank you.
Dorothy, I love this. Thank you for sharing. I think it is quite common for women to not wear clothes that celebrate their beauty and I was once the same. These days I have so much fun getting dressed – picking the colours, the fabric the style…even down to my selection of bras and knickers. I have a great time in my wardrobe.
It’s terrible that it is any other way Nikki. There is a normality around women choosing to dress down and not show their beauty or sexiness… or the opposite, much focus on desired body parts being out on show and dressed to be the main focus, while the rest of the body is ignored or loathed for not meeting expectations. How glorious there are women claiming who they are by getting to know themselves and reflecting what all women naturally are.
Totally agree Mary, Natalie Benhayon is a perfect example of a woman who expresses all that she is with no reservation.
This just goes to show that at every age we can be asking ourselves, are we dressing to hide or are we dressing to confirm and inspire?
I am blessed to read your experiences and learnings here Dorothy. It is so gorgeous to see the changes made in you and your clothes and feel the woman you are now. It is very inspiring and highlights that there is a lot we can hide behind when it comes to the way we dress and the hurts, pains and issues we still hold onto.
Reading this made me smile Dorothy, your story is very inspiring and a reminder to celebrate and appreciate our beauty no matter what age we are.
“COME ON IN HERE, TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO BUY YOUR SELF SOME NICE UNDERWEAR!!” – I just love this, everyone should have a friend like that.
Gosh – I love it. I used to buy beautiful things and then save them and never use them – how crazy! Every woman is beautiful and every woman deserves to celebrate that beauty, the way we dress and what we own is not everything, but it’s a great way to confirm and celebrate the beauty that is busting out from inside us.
Hello Meg, I can relate to this too, and I am gradually changing to allow myself to wear my best clothing as an everyday routine. There is no switching off the beauty within so I am learning to dress in honour of it and it feels lovely.
Yeah – it’s an amazing feeling to treasure every day and every moment as amazing, rather than reserve it for “special occasions.” Everyday deserves our everything.
Thank you for sharing your innate and natural beauty with us all Dorothy 🙂
Your dress is gorgeous too by the way!
Absolutely gorgeous Dorothy… your words “YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS” are deeply touching and your story so very inspiring.
Dorothy,
you were absolutely beautiful to me from the first time I met you, as you were.
The underwear is just icing on the cake. Whoops, what have I said? Cake!!
You know what I mean . . . keep on keeping on gorgeous Dorothy
Thank you Dorothy such a joy to read. This is showing we can change how we feel about ourselves whatever has happened to us.
Yes and at any age, sometimes I get the sense that older women give up on themselves and give up on change but it’s never too late.
Wow Dorothy thank you so much for sharing your story. It is a delight to feel how you enjoy wearing the beautiful underwear and clothes and to see those sparkling eyes reflecting the gorgeous woman you are. Thank you Susan
Thank you Dorothy for such a lovely blog. You do look very beautiful and remarkable at 86 yrs young.
A beautiful sharing on the very real lifestyle that many women live caught in. The amazing thing is that beautiful clothing and undergarments don’t necessarily cost any more than the practical boring ones. The only thing that thwarts us buying them is our beliefs about ourselves.
Dorothy, you never stop to amaze me – you are a true inspiration, as are Serge Benhayon and his daughter Natalie for all of us. Just goes to show that life is a continual opportunity to learn and expand.
This blog made me cry. It is so beautiful.
Thank you, Dorothy, for your beautiful sharing. You are living proof that age is just a number when we feel gorgeous inside and out.
This is touching me Dorothy! Never to late to claim back our worth and preciousness, even with a background that make it hard to even consider the possibility! And how great to have some friends who support us here.
It is sad to hear what you experienced in your childhood and for any child or person to not feel beautiful, precious and cherished. We have a long way to come as a species to return to our essence of love and joy.
Dorothy you are an absolute inspiration to all women, your frankness and honesty make your experience super accessible. It seems that despite your lack of confidence, your sadness you have some wonderful friends around you, including a true role model in the lived ways of Serge Benhayon and his family.
Your sharing is beautiful and deeply touching Dorothy and shows how we are NEVER too old or too young to re-discover the preciousness and beauty we all share.
Gorgeous Dorothy. Although not many people (if any) will ever see inside your underwear drawer to appreciate the colours and fabrics you’ve chosen, it feels so amazing to look after ourselves in this way and know that we’re wearing these beautiful garments.
Dorothy, this is the most beautiful and awesome sharing – it brought tears to my eyes.
What a powerful blog, confirming that true inner beauty is there in all women, and it is never ‘too late’ to bring it out for the world to see and enjoy. I love how you are enjoying your gorgeous underwear and new clothes. Thank you:)
Absolutely gorgeous sharing Dorothy, I loved this line “a most wonderful and natural face lift!” and the overall feeling of being freed from an internal dampening down of your light. A great example of it is never too late to shine.
A lovely blog Dorothy and it’s so inspiring to read how you are now embracing and honouring the beautiful woman you are.
This is so super sweet, and especially when you turn and talk to all of us women, the love that you express in that moment towards us is monumental.
I am smiling back at you, Dorothy, and appreciating the light you bring to the world and to all of us who are lucky enough to regularly spend time with you.
What a beautiful woman you are Dorothy and what a very beautiful sharing that is very touching and so supportive for all women and especially the knowing that it is never to late to change and allow appreciate and love for oneself. The amazing women you are shines out in your photo with the depth of beauty and radiance you are and your story is one that is very different from the lives of many youngsters today and really offers such appreciation for the love we all are.
Dorothy, you are a testament to the fact that no matter how high the level of abuse we may have received in our lives we are all deep down beautiful worthy women. Thank you for sharing your story.
The radiance and lovliness that is felt and seen in your photo is felt throughout this blog. Thank you Dorothy, this is a blog to return to 🙂
Thank you Dorothy for this beautiful blog and inspiring women to accept that we are all beautiful from inside out no matter what size, age or skin colour. We are all equally beautiful and definitely deserve everything to support us to reflect and celebrate our beauty.
This is an incredible blog Dorothy and a joy to read, it just goes to show the world you are never too old to change.
“These days when I look in the mirror I can finally see the beautiful woman who is smiling back at me” A beautiful sharing Dorothy, thankyou. What a gift for all women – to know we are never too old to feel the beauty within and without.
What a journey!! This shows very clearly how a low self-esteem affects us by making draw an imaginary circle where we place ourselves and how difficult is even to fathom to move outside of it. The self-assigned place is not our true place though. So, long life to the beautiful underwear!!
Such a heart warming and very inspiring story Dorothy, one that I know will inspire other women who haven’t yet considered that pretty underwear is for them. As you have so beautifully demonstrated, pretty underwear is for us all, no matter what age.
You are gorgeous and look fabulous, Dorothy. Thank you sharing such a lovely story.
Lovely to read this blog and the changes that have occurred within yourself Dorothy to get to a point where you know you are worth having beautiful clothes, and can now see the inner beauty, but it also highlights the ingrained beliefs we hold as women regards feeling worthless which also reflects back to the world and other women. The other thing that also stands out clearly from reading this is that it does not matter what age we are, men or women, it is never too late to honour ourselves.
“a most wonderful and natural face lift!” How we feel inside and on the underneath is reflected in how we shine out to the world.
What a gorgeous blog Dorothy, what shone through for me in your words is how gentle sensitive and delicate you are, and that in your elder years you are able to honour and celebrate this. I just love how you appreciate things that many of us take for granted.
Thank you Dorothy for your open sharing and that it is never too late for pretty underwear and that we deserve to dress ourselves in a way that shows our beauty and preciousness at any age.
This is a very heart warming and inspiring blog ….makes me look forward to growing old.
And that is a very pretty dress by the way!
Beautiful to hear Dorothy, it is those little things that are not little at all but makes your day.
It would seem that we are emerging from centuries of denying our innate beauty as women… Stories such as yours Dorothy lead the way for us all in the knowing that we need not repeat the denial and suffering of the generations gone before – our love is here to embrace in full today, to learn to cherish and hold dearly, that all women may once again know this in themselves.
I remember an older relative who would keep the ‘pretty things’ (e.g. gorgeous velvet slippers with a little heel on them…) on a shelf – no matter what we (those around her) said, it was nigh impossible for her to appreciate herself in this way and honour that she was, if it may be plainly said, ‘worth it’ and wear them!
The deeper patterns can be so ingrained, and yet offer a doorway to so much more, if we are willing to walk through it.
Beautiful, Victoria. Dorothy certainly walked through a doorway of self appreciation, and it seems she has never looked back!
Gosh this is absolutely gorgeous Dorothy – and poignant and touching all at once. When you say that “YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND DESERVE TO HAVE LOVELY THINGS”, it is felt to the bone – words from a woman who has re-found the beauty within herself, and shies not from the reclamation of her gorgeous and inspiring presence in this world.
Thank-you.
Very inspiring Dorothy. Your choice to allow yourself be even more lovely has reflected to me that I can allow myself to be that deeper too. Recently I had allowed myself to take care of my skin even more, and walked into a beauty salon after almost 30 years of resistance. It was so lovely to touch my face and feel it can be this soft and moisturized.
Awesome Dorothy!!! You are living proof that vitality, joy and gorgeousness does not need to be lost with age. You’ve still got it.
Absolutely Jeanette and absolutely gorgeous indeed. I am blown away by Dorothy’s blog and feel deeply inspired. We are all gorgeous and it is a blessing when we see someone celebrate their natural beauty.
Dorothy, i just LOVE your post, it’s so touching and heartfelt…i was with you as you were in the lingerie shop (!!!) What a gorgeous story and inspiration feeling the loving quality you now hold yourself with from before, and especially after all these years too, wow.
Dorothy what an inspiration you are for all women. I love hearing your experiences and about the growth you have experienced.
How beautiful. Your story truly opens eyes in regards to how we judge people based on what they wear. We go around criticising people for having a poor taste, not sticking with the latest fashion, however we never stop to consider that these people may be struggling.
True Viktoria, it also pulls the curtain on todays throw away, consumerist lifestyles.
This is a great point – I immediately thought of someone I know and never considered her story or why she dresses the way she does.
Dorothy I just loved this – it brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes feeling the joy you experienced loving you in the way you deserve. It is never to late to honour you in every way you can and treat yourself accordingly. Gorgeous!
Dorothy, it’s such a joy to read this blog and hear your journey to knowing you are a beautiful woman. And to know that a woman can be this way at 86 is truly inspiring, no matter how old we are it’s never too late to be our beautiful selves. Thank you for sharing with such honesty how it has been for you and for showing us your beauty.
Wow Dorothy! Your article has brought tears to my eyes – what a stunning reflection you have offered to women, that it is NEVER too late and to never stop celebrating themselves and their own beauty.
It’s so lovely to feel and appreciate our loveliness within by making choices to confirm and reflect how we feel on the inside about ourselves outwardly so. Thank you Dorothy.
Aaah Dorothy, your words here have given me a smile so big. A beautiful reminder that wherever we go the true ‘underwear’ we bring is the care, warmth and Love we have for ourselves. This comes first before any clothes, but boy we are allowed and should actively buy things that celebrate and honour how brilliant we are. Bravo to you and this story of beautiful delicates.
Dorothy this is such a beautiful sharing. How absolutely radiant and lovely you are. I can see the joy and the care you take in dressing yourself as it’s written all over your face.