From Exhaustion to Amazing Woman

For many years I used to sit up late at night, watching TV whilst indulging in some sweets or junk food, thinking this is ‘me-time’. Considering that I was always a natural early morning person, I used to push through when I felt tired in the evening, choosing to override that feeling and just prop myself up with some sweet foods to stay awake and watch another late night movie I thought I could not miss. Interestingly, most mornings I could hardly remember what I had watched the night before …

My first ‘wake-up’ call was in my early forties, when I then felt so tired that I finally took myself off to the doctor to find out that I had developed a thyroid condition. I still didn’t stop there and pushed myself further, as I had no idea how to live differently, ending up with Chronic Fatigue.

This really stopped me in my tracks – literally – as I was feeling very depleted for over a year: I could not manage to get out of bed before 9am most days and needed to rest during the day.

Through coming across Universal Medicine and attending courses and workshops, I met a very young woman called Natalie Benhayon. Through presentations by Natalie on what it actually means to be a woman, and how far away we have moved from our innate naturally nurturing, self-loving and self-honouring ways, I started to appreciate being a woman and wanting to express that more – in how I was treating myself, how I was viewing myself and how I was dressing even. It was a slow process of becoming more and more aware of how disconnected I had been living to the woman I am.

What I also learnt is that living in such disconnection and running around from one thing to the next, as I was, was draining and depleting my body.

esther-auf-der-maur-after-photo-hands-on-face
Esther today

I so appreciate the understanding that Esoteric Women’s Health and Women in Livingness have brought to me. My approach to life and to being a woman has totally changed, as I have learned to live in a way that is more supportive of my body. This means, for example staying present with what I am doing at any given time, giving myself enough space to not constantly be ‘running late’, giving myself a few small stops, to come back to my body instead of letting my mind run the show.

At a recent workshop on exhaustion, presented by Women in Livingness, real women shared their experiences of how they too had run themselves into exhaustion, what they have learned, and how they have changed things around with simple means, such as:

  • starting to choose to be more aware of what they feel and then acting on that
  • saying ‘no’ when they feel to.

Here I learned that there is a different way to live, a true place within us to live life from. When we choose to live from that place, we don’t feel the need to escape from whatever the external situation may be and seek respite, because we truly take loving care of ourselves whilst going about our normal everyday tasks.

From here I am deepening my learning about how it feels to:

  • listen to my body, and to what it is telling me
  • give myself a stop when needed
  • prepare lovingly for a regenerating night’s sleep by winding down and not getting drawn into intense conversations for example, and
  • treating myself tenderly as the precious woman I am.

There is nothing better than to celebrate our own essence and to foster our connection, firstly with ourselves by truly looking after ourselves, and then to live that quality with another. By really seeing and appreciating ourselves and each other we can support one another to start to come out of hiding and not hold back from being the amazing women we all naturally are.

There was no magic cure, elixir or herbal remedy or tablet that could heal the disregarding way I had been living. Re-connecting with myself and others on a deeper level, by stopping to simply connect to how my body feels, has facilitated the healing of the deep exhaustion.

By Esther auf der Maur, Gold Coast, Australia

For Further Inspiration …

Is there another way to achieve gender equality, without fighting for it? And why are we so uncomfortable in our own skin?

Are you dating exhaustion, married to it, even?!

Bringing change through new levels of honesty.

681 thoughts on “From Exhaustion to Amazing Woman

  1. When most of the worlds and current trends show us that on average it goes ” from amazing girl to exhausted women – you and we are turning this trend on its head and instead it turning back around “from exhaustion to feeling amazing ” – the way it should be.

  2. “…… starting to choose to be more aware of what they feel and then acting on that
    saying ‘no’ when they feel to.” These two points are pure gold. Learning to say no was a key point in me finding more time for myself and learning to connect more deeply.

  3. “What I also learnt is that living in such disconnection and running around from one thing to the next, as I was, was draining and depleting my body.” So many women live like this, especially around having children. Coming back to ourselves is the greatest gift we can give, as its all there inside of us if we stay still enough to listen.

  4. Its hard to feel amazing when we feel exhausted! All the more reason to be super loving with ourselves. Its simple mathematics – look deeply after yourself = feeling amazing.

  5. “re-connecting with myself and others on a deeper level, by stopping to simply connect to how my body feels, has facilitated the healing of the deep exhaustion.

    This is absolutely massive Esther – wow on many levels – an absolute inspiration to us all.

  6. Highlighting that is it just a simple case of reconnecting is something that has been a theme for me this morning with what I have been reading. Typing this and on reflection it is important to know how to reconnect as you could say to someone ‘you just have to reconnect’ and they might be like ‘huh, well how do I do that?’ So having or knowing people in your life that steadily and consistently live this will support as well as other tools such as The Gentle Breath Meditation http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free

  7. The gold of this cannot be underestimated – ‘treating myself tenderly as the precious woman I am.’ For the deeper we are able to take this the more we are able to be ourselves.

  8. “There was no magic cure, elixir or herbal remedy or tablet that could heal the disregarding way I had been living. ” True, in the end our life style and choices we make throughout our life catch up with us, it is something we can’t avoid, the healing is in what we do with what is being offered to us, do we lovingly take note of our body’s signs or dismiss and carry on regardless of what is being shown to us.

  9. Our body has to speak louder and louder until the time comes when we sit up and listen. The ‘honesty’ we think we have been living becomes the true honesty we are then faced with. It is at that point that we realise there is a difference.

  10. This is so relevant for many of us, especially as today we can literally run ourselves into the ground with all we ‘have to do’ and then reach for props such as sugar etc. (we all have our own flavour) to keep us going, but as discussed here often our bodies bring us to a complete stop and even if they don’t, do we really want to continue living in this way? A way which in fact depletes us. Would we not want to live with our vitality, engaged with ourselves and others in the world? I can attest to the difference it makes to live more deeply connected to myself and how in doing so I’ve gained a new lease on life … there is definitely another way and we deserve to live it.

  11. Its funny how when we are stuck in a rut of not evolving and being somewhat abusive with ourselves we can say everything is fine, then when we do manage to get ourselves out of it it is so much clearer how much disregard we where in.
    Often we don’t want to admit our life is stagnant – therefore absolute honesty is always the first healing ingredient required. Honesty is the force that starts the ball rolling.

    1. Yes and it can all start with baby steps – just making one different choice at a time. Otherwise it can seem all very overwhelming when we are at rock bottom.

  12. It is a beautiful blessing when we are diagnosed with an illness or disease; we are given a stop moment to deeply reflect on the way we have been living and how it was impacting our life. We are also given an opportunity to change our behaviours and habits to loving ones where we learn to place ourselves and our needs as priority before anything which is on the outside calling for attention.

  13. Exhaustion is so normal these days it is actually quite rare when you meet someone who is vital, healthy and full of energy. Awesome blog that shows us that this does not have to be our normal.

    1. So true Sam, and exhaustion is affecting young children too. Naturally we would want to ask why are we so exhausted as a race and what is really going on?

  14. Esther, after reading your awesome blog, I started to wonder what other conditions are curable due to listening to our body, embracing self-care, self-nurture and changing our lifestyle? I’d say a lot and some very difficult conditions may be easily healed due to lifestyle choices/changes, I feel this is something so worthwhile studying and looking into, and your example is brilliant.

  15. I don’t always find it easy to stop when it is needed, there is a part of me that says you need to finish this first otherwise you are not worth the job or something like that. This part of me feels seperate to my body as when I tune in to my body it gives me a very clear message to stop. The more I honour my body the easier it is to do so and don’t give that other part of me a chance to overrule what my body is telling me.

    1. The part that wants to override is the part that is attached to time. The body is connected to space and knows there is an order that needs to be honoured not a time line that needs to be obeyed.

  16. Watching late night tv, or a movie, and thinking that is “me” time, I recognize it all to well, and it so common that an evening spend this way is seemingly great. But the question we don’t ask: how are we living that we need this “me” time? We should live with joy, playfulness, love, not that life bring us that, but because that is the core of who we are, and we bring that in everything we do. And we can feel that core, if choose to connect to that core, that inner beauty we all have.

  17. At the moment I am really enjoying introducing a little project into every day – things like exploring how tender I am with myself in the way I move, type, sit; how present I stay in my body in conversations; does my day feel spacious or full of thoughts… and as long as I do this with curiosity and not criticism, it simply means I get to know and understand myself and humanity better.

  18. “I would prop myself up with some sweet foods to stay awake and watch another late-night movie I thought I could not miss. Interestingly, most mornings I could hardly remember what I had watched the night before”. This is a fabulous observation and one I have also had. The drive or need to watch something that makes not the slightest positive change in your life, is similar to the drive to eat snacks even though I am full. It is the feeling of emptiness seeking to be filled or numbed, rather than being about TV or food.

  19. Anything we do in disconnection from our essence creates disharmony within our body, which will later manifest as an illness or a disease.

  20. Taking responsibility for the choices and movements we make have big impacts on our body, through these choices we are able to heal our bodies and miracles can happen.

  21. In our disconnection to who we are, who we truly are in essence, we are left to the devise of our mind which never regards the truth of our bodies or the truth of who we are. As such we find we live with a loss of sense of who we are and our purpose in life. In our return to our connection to our body and being we soon realise and can feel how the more we honor this connection the more we live guided by an inner-wisdom that knows all too well what support us to live who we are and what does not.

    1. It is clear that disconnecting from ourselves is the first stage of disease and that staying connected to ourselves, building that connection so that it is sure and steady whatever happens around us, is a simple and joyful responsibility that makes everything make so much more sense.

  22. ‘There is nothing better than to celebrate our own essence and to foster our connection, firstly with ourselves by truly looking after ourselves, and then to live that quality with another. ‘ I realise my discontentment with life starts and can end with my lack of connection to my essence. Coming back to myself, ignoring the fear that I won’t get everything done done, is really lovely and I get so much more complete this way too.

  23. Once we realise that it is through our choice that we heal our body then miracles happen. We change knowing that change is possible through our willingness to re-imprint and take responsibility for the choices/movements we make.

    1. If everyone on this planet had this understanding, I think our illness and disease rates would be dramatically lower than what it is now.

  24. “There was no magic cure, elixir or herbal remedy or tablet that could heal the disregarding way I had been living.” And that is the truth, we have to live the love within – that is the ‘magic’ remedy, that is, WE are our magic remedy, it’s down to us.

  25. Presentations and workshops with Universal Medicine and Women in Livingness offer the opportunity to understand and feel how amazing it is to be and live as the woman you are.

  26. ‘..treating myself tenderly as the precious woman I am.’ This is a gem Esther, inspiring us all to understand how important it is to treat ourselves with tenderness. All too often we tend to think we need to compete with each other, with full of hardness and pushing our delicateness and tenderness away. When we listen to our body, it will show us how deeply precious we all are.

  27. Without connection with ourselves, anything with do is empty of who we truly are and therein lies the path to depletion and exhaustion.

    1. SO true Jenny, I used to feel exhausted and I didn’t know why, sometimes it was related to food but most of the time it was related to how I was with myself and therefore with others. I find taking on emotions and reacting to life is the fastest way to deplete and exhaust my body.

    2. Yes, when we’re not feeling that innate connection to ourselves, not registering what we’re feeling, then we have no idea when that moment is to naturally stop one thing, and move to the next. Instead we end up following the dictates of our minds – what we’ve decided we’ll do, instead of what feels natural and needs to be done, at that particular moment in time. From there, it’s very easy to override what we feel and to completely exhaust, deplete and drain the body.

  28. Treating ourselves with tenderness and in appreciation of the precious beings that we are is vital. Not only is it supportive of our own energy levels, but it provides the foundation for our relationships with others too. If we are this way with ourselves, then we will be this way with others too.

    1. Yes, I agree with what you share Richard, it is also inspiring for others and helps them see that they too can be this way.

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