Sixty (four), sassy & sexy (last one took a while)

I was born a woman, yet I had no idea what it truly meant to be a woman.  

I never even questioned it.  

Honouring myself was not ever considered, and with no reflection in my life from the family or school friends that there could be another way to be and live, I merrily walked a path of general disregard.  

As far as I was concerned, words like precious, tender, delicate and cherishing were for women who were weak and lacked drive. 

In fact, what was reflected to me was the opposite: that having drive and pushing my body was the acceptable norm. The hardness in my body was palpable and showed in everything I did. 

Through Universal Medicine I started to really consider and become more aware of my body. I could actually feel the things I was doing that were causing me pain. A lot of physical work with horses, and caring more about horses than I did about myself, had a detrimental impact on my delicate and sensitive body.  

As things changed within me, and I took greater care of myself, I recognised that my relationship with the horses had to change.  

I had to stop putting horses before myself.  

The horses went to a retirement home and that gave me a moment to stop and feel what I was doing to my body and how unsupportive horses first, I second, was. This had a knock-on effect on everything that I did, as well as on all life’s chambers; my relationships, my work and my family. 

It was a progressive thing: the more I let go of the hardness, the more aware I became of how I was living and the effects this had in every part of my life. It gave me the space to be more caring of myself, and to start to let go of the hardness and protection that I had used to get through life.  

The change in me enabled me to come to an even bigger realization, which is that over the years, and I mean thousands of years, we women have lost our way with regard to knowing who we are and what it actually means to be a woman.  

I registered how much we have let go of the principles and innate understanding of our true purpose in life. This purpose has always been about honouring our deep knowing of life in every way, living this innate knowing with understanding and respect for everything around us.  

Women also knew what the word Sacredness meant: a level of standard in every area of their lives that were commanded by the purity of their bodies, an inborn knowing from which they would live their lives and hold themselves in, unreservedly, unapologetically and unwaveringly so. They had an innate knowing of what was true for them. 

This is a far cry from how many women live today; dishonouring their body, pushing it to extremes and not listening to the messages that are naturally within. Qualities such as being fragile, sensitive, gentle, caring and loving, that should be our norm, are sadly not so frequently exhibited. Instead… 

  • we have made the ‘to-do list’ more important than how we treasure and look after our bodies. 
  • we care for everyone around us, but can be in total disregard to our body and to the detriment of our own health and wellbeing.  
  • we are all too accepting of what we know is not true, and rather than going within, we try to figure out who we are by looking outside ourselves through books or magazines, TV, social media and a whole myriad of advertising and external sources.  

We have moved so far away from what we are meant to be reflecting to the world – a woman in her livingness is a woman who lives from her inner heart, knows what is true for her and does not compromise her body or her health to please others. A woman living in this way inspires both men and women that there is a way to be that is loving, caring and true to oneself.  

When a woman is in her livingness, in other words, living who she truly is, there is a beauty, radiance and acceptance, that can’t be bought or shown to us by any media publication. It is something that is felt deep within and awakes every cell in another womanly body that says you too know this, you have this in you too.  

Accepting myself as a woman and learning what this means, has been a long journey and is a constant learning. It never stops because there is always another level to learn about myself, to connect more deeply to my innate tenderness and fragility and to re-learn to live from who I truly am: a delicate and precious woman which allows others to feel this too. 

There is true power, wisdom and purpose when we connect to our qualities and commit to making these the foundation for how we live in every moment of our day. 

Alison Valentine: a woman in her livingness

By Alison Valentine, UK; A super caring woman with a cheeky smile and a radar for truth, a wanna be Aston Martin driver on a shoe string budget and a countryside connoisseur of nature with the sky and the stars deeply in her heart.

For further inspiration… 

If you are rarely satisfied with how you look, you are one of many. But one woman shares her account on reversing that trend.

What happens when you meet a true female role model & you learn how amazing it is to return to the woman you always knew you were..

Wearing a Cardigan of Protection

Recently, I have felt something changing within me, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I noticed that my cardigans seemed to be too big or not sitting well on the shoulders. They were like an oversized coat that no longer fitted my frame and I started to question whether it was my posture, or my weight. Both remained the same, but something else had changed. Yesterday the understanding came fully as I was booking in for my monthly Esoteric Breast Massage – a super supportive modality offered by women practitioners trained by Universal Medicine. Continue reading “Wearing a Cardigan of Protection”

Women are Magnificent

In my work as a midwife I have the awesome privilege to be with women when they can resource deeply their true magnificence.

Being pregnant and giving birth is a time in a woman’s life when she has a relationship with her body that is very real and full. A time when she can get to know herself and her true strength and qualities, as her body does some of the most amazing and miraculous things ever. Continue reading “Women are Magnificent”

A Successful Woman

Attending a women’s group has been a great support and valuable learning for me; it is something I cherish and look forward to. Just before the last women’s group, I came across some old notes that I had written from a women’s group a few years back. On the top of the page I had written a question: what does it feel like to be a successful woman?  Continue reading “A Successful Woman”

The true power of women – no more holding back

Is it enough to sit around and talk about the way that things are? Does this really change anything? At an Esoteric Women’s Health event – Wellbeing for Women – in Melbourne this question was posed. The women in this group had been coming together for over a year and discussing what was going on for women, what was going on for ourselves, and we were loving it. Ultimately we were exploring the phenomena of holding back the true power of women. Continue reading “The true power of women – no more holding back”

A Frozen Shoulder: Thawing my Resistance to my Inner Quality

Three days ago, I woke up with a frozen shoulder; I was unable to sleep the prior night or get out of bed. This has happened before, but this time, with the help of my amazing practitioner, Jenny Ellis, I really listened to the message being offered up. I came to understand the message along with fixing the actual physical pain. And this is what I discovered… Continue reading “A Frozen Shoulder: Thawing my Resistance to my Inner Quality”

Women, Ageing and ‘the shelf’

What does the shelf mean to you?

For us it is the thing that has us in its grip from an early age as women. There is an unspoken contract that says that by a certain age we need to be partnered up and having babies.

It is so embedded in our societies that when we choose not to abide by these rules we are required to explain ourselves.

So who made the shelf and what keeps it on the wall? Continue reading “Women, Ageing and ‘the shelf’”

‘Dating with Purpose’: The tragedy of our ‘Sugar Daddy’ habit

I recently saw a short clip of a video about a developing industry termed ‘Sugar Babies’. Women seeking a ‘Sugar Daddy’ has turned into big business, developing to such a degree that there are now dedicated websites with paid subscriptions, memberships, workshops and conferences held around the globe to offer ‘Sugar Babies’ the best advice on ‘dating’, developing their personal assets, and how to ask for an allowance from the ‘Sugar Daddies’ they meet.

Continue reading “‘Dating with Purpose’: The tragedy of our ‘Sugar Daddy’ habit”

Dishonouring Choices, Self-Worth and Their Impact on Everyday Life

Millions of women are affected world-wide by a lack of self-worth – it is our modern-day plague. This lack of self-worth is one of the underlying reasons why many women make so many choices every day which are not only dishonouring of themselves, but can be deeply abusive; further cementing the false beliefs and negative self-talk that we are not worthy of love for ourselves or of being loved by others too. So, we could say that this is a critical topic to bring our attention and discussion to.

Continue reading “Dishonouring Choices, Self-Worth and Their Impact on Everyday Life”