by Kathryn Fortuna, Inner Image Consultant, Bendigo, Australia
“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy”. (Yves Saint Laurent)
When I see your face…
I see so much more than just your features. I see your past, your worries, your thoughts, your fragility and your innermost beauty. I see and feel an energetic map of your lives etched across your face.
As a professional Makeup artist I have worked with faces for more than 25 years. The differences between them have been distinctive, yet I have loved every single one of them.
When I see your face, I see and feel your eyes. Your windows, your truth and often your hiding. I also feel your sadness, joy and hurt and so much more…
When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside. We all come in different forms and often the supposedly ‘plainest’ face can hold the most beautiful person beneath it. The classically beautiful face can sometimes hide a person who feels objectified, hurt and judged. When I look, I feel for your essence in there.
Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.
As an Inner Image consultant I have noticed that women will often apologise for how they look. They will sit down in front of me and say things like:
- I am sorry I look a mess today.
- I am sorry I am looking tired.
- I am sorry I have no makeup on.
- I am old and wrinkled, freckled, plain, tired etc.
- I am asked: what can you do with this old face?
The younger ladies will often have layers of makeup on to hide behind or feel that they may be looked at in judgement from me… they apologise also.
Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.
Women have spent their lives rubbing, pinching, applying creams, makeup, lotions, facials, hair dying, surgery, the list goes on – to have a ‘beautiful’ face.
We compare, compete and comply. With our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends.
“It’s an unspoken war on women, and we are the enemy”.
We are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life.
We are taught that we are better looking when we are young and as we age and wrinkle we lose this attractiveness. This is not true.
9 Reasons for Women to Smile
- Make no apology for how you look. Accept your own face the way it is. Without makeup.
- When you apply makeup – do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it.
- Know that you chose your looks for a reason.
- Start expressing your true thoughts about beauty with your friends – open up the opportunity to connect withOUT comparison.
- Accept your age, nationality and cultural features: if you feel to have surgery – instead spend the money on some loving counselling sessions to see why you choose to change your face.
- See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.
- Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful.
- Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.
- Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.
Show us your passion.
Women in Livingness Blog 
Open your eyes and feel the reflection of the love of your inner-most shining through you.
Letting go the ‘apologizing mode’ keeps us transparently beautiful in our acceptance and valuing of who we are
Thank you Kathryn, it’s a beautiful read. “Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” This is very supportive and something I can easily do each day, I already do take a few moments to see my myself in my eyes but instead of it being fleeting I can spend some more time with myself to go deeper in self love in these moments.
One of the most beautiful things is a women complelty unapologetic of how she looks dame a women is hot when she is in her power. No apologises needed.
Never be apologetic for feeling beautiful, never bring yourself down just because you’re standing out – for when we do that we close off to the beauty of our heart, we close off from the love in our veins and there is no pain greater than that.
And we don’t need to apologise either when we are not doing so well, just allow ourselves space and love whilst we work through things.
Good point, no apologies regarding anything are required.
If we want the world to change I feel we must start with ourselves first and that does mean reflecting back to all children our own ability to love ourselves first, this naturally supports others to feel their own love. You cannot tell someone to love themselves I know this doesn’t work from my own experience it is through the reflection of someone loving themselves so much that this love can be tangibly felt and then the desire to connect to the same love naturally develops.
At the moment we are teaching kids to love others but not themselves, many parents are truly decent in the way they love and care for their kids but the problem is as kids we role model on our parents (who do not self love), and we can become self sacrificing in the same unloving way to ourselves when we become adults. Either way, we are always role modeling.
The simple act of letting go of hardness means that our true delicacy and beauty gets the space it deserves to emerge.
Thank you for not accepting the apology and in so doing offering women a different approach. I have apologised so much for my very existence and have brought upon myself much self denigration, lack of worth and derision. Now at 52, against the rules, I feel more valuable, beautiful and real than I ever have before – a series of choices and huge thanks to women around me and the work of Universal Medicine.
Apologising for myself has been a major thorn in my side for a long time and I am pleased to be extracting this now since it is a form of self-denigration that is insidious and very detrimental.
To acknowledge and accept the responsibility for change is to be greatly welcomed and not feared. It is a responsibility to be embraced regardless of any outcome.
The face is a record of the past and how we are feeling right now. That’s why an energetic facial release is so powerful, as it can release many long held tensions and strains and release the inner beauty that we all have inside.
There is nothing more beautiful and honouring of a woman’s beauty than to have your make-up one or haircut by a practitioner who sees real beauty. The woman who cuts my hair sees exactly that, the beauty in my eyes and the delicateness in my complexion – she cuts my hair in accordance to that and I leave feeling beautiful every time.
Apologising for ourselves does not change anything – appreciating ourselves does.
Love the title of your article Kathyrn, we could make a habit of doing the same when we hear a woman putting herself down–’apology not accepted’…..and remind each other to look deep into our eyes in the mirror and truly see what is there.
Yes victoria picone, absolutely agree….we have a responsibility to each other. Our beauty lived is a blessing to everyone.,
This blog challenges the status quo – many women are ‘sorry’ for the way they look – how horrendous is that for the young generations to feel? We need more role models claimed and accepting of there light and beauty.
I have been doing this a lot more recently and it feels very gorgeous to accept and to see the absolute beauty of my face; ‘Make no apology for how you look. Accept your own face the way it is. Without makeup.’ I have observed that the more I accept my self and am caring and understanding of myself, the more beauty I see.
I agree – this is absolutely not true; ‘We are taught that we are better looking when we are young and as we age and wrinkle we lose this attractiveness. This is not true.’ I see an absolute beauty in the face of the elders that I know.
I would absolutely agree with this; ‘Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.’
It can easily be said that there is not a moment when a woman is not beautiful, simply because she is. But there will be many who disagree with this because they may feel that they do not fit the media agenda of what beauty is that is being poured out to us constantly. But we are powerful. We can see these images and say no to their damaging influence, so that no young girls are raised to be fed the same insidious ideals. This is perhaps the greater purpose of our responses to the media imagery – to stop it now so that no one else has to endure it, because are we not responsible for what our young are exposed to?
Excuses, excuses excuses – anyone would think that us women get off on putting ourselves down…..
When we claim and accept all the beauty inside nothing more is needed to bring to another – this is what I call ‘living with true purpose’.
“Apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” How true this is and how sad that we do not enjoy embrace and love every part of us in all of our godliness and heavenly expression we are. A beautiful sharing for all women to appreciate and love ourselves forever more.
The more we bring quality to each movement the more we offer another a different way of living and being.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” So true and something for us all to appreciate who we really are and the joy radiating through our eyes really does light up the world.
“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy” I can so easily see by how being afraid to speak from the place of passion and holding back we hold back our light love and truth from the world and we disempower ourselves in the process. Beauty shines through when we allow ourselves to be connected to our essence and not try and fit into any preconceived ideas about how we should or should not behave.
I had a conversation today about how much effort is spent on convincing us to buy stuff that we don’t really need, and how we’re already pretty amazing – it’s just that we don’t affirm or confirm that to and within ourselves. As women start waking up to how incredible and beautiful we really are, with or without make up, so the beauty industry will change – because the change will come from us, demanding products that celebrate and confirm who we are, instead of what we (mostly) currently have: accepting ourselves as less unless we have a particular look or style, and buying products to make that happen – fixing and improving, instead of celebrating and appreciating.
‘Fixing and improving, instead of celebrating and appreciating”. Can the beauty of God be improved on? I don’t think so. All we need to keep doing is to keep exposing more and more of the God within, revealing more and more of His divine nature and in that way ‘our’ beauty which is not our own just keeps deepening and deepening, until it reaches a point where it’s not even fathomable.
Coming back to this exquisite blog I suddenly realised the moments of apologising for how I am looking are virtually non-existent these days and that feels amazing. And following on from that realisation is the knowing that this is because I am re-learning to value myself more than I have ever done. And the deeper I value me the fewer the reasons I have for apologising, something that I choose to no longer have in my life. Why would I feel the need to apologise for the wonderful woman I am?
This is so true, so good to call it out and not accept women putting themselves down, ‘I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.’
The more we support each other and call out what is not loving for ourselves in the way we talk about ourselves the more we get to feel how much we actually do. What I have realised is that this can only come from a place where I am doing this with myself first and wow it happens a lot more than we care to realise.
Returning to your beautiful blog this morning Kathryn was just the healing I needed at this moment in time. Your wise words touched me deep inside and brought tears to my eyes with the loving reminder that I am more than what I focus on in the mirror. The deep tiredness that is present right now is so evident in every part of my face but as I read ‘smile reason number 9’ I took a moment to gaze into my eyes and there I was, the beautiful woman who does not need to apologise for anything.
I so love this blog, it is revolutionary, imagine how much money the beauty industry would lose if we all woke up to that fact that we are all absolute gorgeous right now. Of course they don’t want us to know!
It is deeply sad that we apologise for how we look. Bring on the celebration of our beauty – even when we have bags under our eyes or pimples, our beauty radiates beyond that.
It is a false perception that we have subscribed to as women, that our beauty is determined by the clothes we wear or the make-up we put on. Yet we so often feel that this is not enough, because it isn’t. The connection to who we are within is where our beauty lies, and when you observe a woman who walks in step with her connection to who she is, she emanates beauty, power and grace, which is always an inspiration for me and an opportunity to appreciate the same beauty that we all hold within.
Our beauty can be expressed through the clothes and make up we wear, but that is not what defines our beauty.
Lovely to come back to this blog today and feel all those demeaning apologies and how silly they are and then the reasons to shine. I love how we can inspire each other by living in our fullness, we can celebrate together our sexiness and our sacredness. We can bring joy where there was once mere happiness. We can let that joy emanate from deep within and bubble to the surface bringing a sparkle to the day or night.
It is so interesting how we can down play a compliment rather than stop to appreciate that the choices we have made in how we live and express from the body are a marker for others to be inspired.
Down playing a compliment is the accepted norm and almost what is expected. Accepting and confirming the compliment can take people by surprise.
Love your list of reasons to challenge the status quo and smile from our hearts. We definitely have a very good reason to take responsibility for our unloving behaviour as this will prevent it from infecting another generation.
Such a wonderful blog!! I’d been taught and had totally fallen for, ‘We are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life.’ I’d created a web of complication around it because I also reacted to it and fought this superficial notion whilst also desperate to be seen for being beautiful. I can feel really delicate and beautiful on the inside sometimes but when I see a myself in the mirror can have a shock at how I don’t see that, sometimes I do and go wow.
When I don’t fit the picture of what looks good I can berate myself. But I’m not accepting that now. Yes, I have made disregarding choices that can be seen in my face. Great, that brings an honesty. So though the energy I’ve chosen can be seen and felt that’s not a lifetime barring from reconnecting to the beauty within! It’s an invitation to accept and love myself through life and bring understanding to why I’ve made choices that didn’t honour me.
Thank you — I am feeling being called to stand up in the beauty I am. A very different call made than I have experienced in my younger years; which was always to become better and beautiful from the outside. It is profound to read such message and start applying it too.. We are supported, even though at times it can be challenging to get ourselves out of the negative spiral of behaviors, thoughts and patterns. But we can actually discard them step by step — as our love is much much stronger.
This is beautiful, and I know what you mean, ‘ I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.’
Yes, these smiles instantly warm me from the inside out. Such a joy to see the inner beauty of another and their whole being light up.
Literally every word in this blog is giving me permission to be me with everything there is right now (whether that is sadness or joy or something else) and to be transparent and share who I am with everyone else in the world.
Why is it that mostly women are using make up and men rarely to not came to mind in reading this blog. Is it so gender specific to look to a certain image we try to comply with? An image for men that does not need make up and an image for woman that need make-up to satisfy our needs? It is not that I do not appreciate when women apply make-up, I mostly love it, but the intention behind is important to be aware of. To me it matters if you apply make-up to celebrate your beauty or if you apply it to fit into the picture.
We can only celebrate ourselves with make up or clothes if we have a true sense of who we are because if we don’t then there’s nothing to celebrate.
Taking a moment to look deeply into our own eyes and connecting with our innermost beauty sounds like a great plan, ‘Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.’
Indeed Lorraine, the depth that I can see when looking in the mirror into my own eyes is sometimes unfathomable, but too also so well known as the essence I am from.
As women we are often apologising for how we look, or more to the point how we think others perceive the way we look, the more we are able to be ourselves, to know the true beauty we hold within the more we will realise that there is no need to apologise for ourselves.
Looking into our own eyes is highly recommended. It beams the love back into us and no matter how we look we remember who we are again. This brings connection to ourselves.
I am returning to this blog to confirm what I know inside me but don’t always acknowledge. Thank you Kathryn for the reminder that the light is always on within us.
To be open to really feel and connect to the qualities that we are within and to express and share this with others without diluting it in any way shape or form is super powerful and something that we can all work towards as being our normal. Celebrating another for the beauty that they are and be inspired whilst inspiring others.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” Beautiful to read too Kathryn – and one to remember on days when one feels less than.
I agree with you, apology not accepted when Women apologize for themselves. And yet I appreciate the honesty when women do this with me, that there is an openness to express what is felt.
It wasnt until someone pointed out to me, over 10 years ago now, how often I used to say sorry. Before then I had no idea. But what I came to realise is how little I valued myself then. It is beautiful to feel so connected to who we are, that apologising isn’t even a word in our dictionary. Claiming all that we are needs to be celebrated!
A woman who knows who she is shines so brightly from the inside out, her true beauty there for all to see. Nothing to do – just be.
This is an interesting comment coming from someone who is a top name in fashion and make-up “The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy”. (Yves Saint Laurent)’ On reflection that must be an awesome job to be a make-up artist because you work with so many people so intimately but more than this I love the fact that you see the true beauty in every single person you work with and it has nothing to do with how they look but more about who they are.
I had a moment once, when I felt my Angel within…. it was so beautiful, tender and delicate that I wondered why I would EVER denigrate, put myself down, or make myself less – this feeling didn’t last long however, but it confirmed to me that whether I am feeling it or not, it is there, within me, in fact, it IS me and confirmed that I am much more than I think I am. And so are we all.
I agree Kathryn, inside all of us there is a HUGE beauty which deserves no apology, only love and appreciation. It is only because we have disconnected from our essence, the Angel within that you call it, that we choose to not see or feel our beauty and choose instead to make ourselves less.
There is nothing to be sorry about. We are claiming back our worth and our precioisness. It is saying no to a default system of we are not enough and there is something wrong with us. No.
‘When you apply makeup – do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it.’ This statement alone is enough to change our relationship with ourselves… I love your 8 other points also… very powerful!
It seems to me after reading this great blog that the key to expressing our true beauty for all to see and feel is accepting and appreciating our unique features and bodies in a way that sees that there is a reason and purpose for how we look-as if we are all different pieces to a grand puzzle that when put together shows its Devine source. I also look forward to practicing the suggestion that Kathryn made of looking into our eyes everyday in a mirror and feel it would be just as powerful to deeply do the same with other people as I speak to them in a more connected way than I might usually do while speaking.
“Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.” This is so important one of the reasons we are currently in such a mess is because the status quo has not been challenged -we all just assume its normal to wish we look like someone else or had different features – as you say it is our responsibility to change this.
I have found looking into my own eyes to be a very powerful practice too, the acceptance of myself has deepened so much especially during times of challenges. And I see my love, and that is that allows me to carry on, to not give up, and to express fuller with less reservation day by day.
‘Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.’ this is beautiful and deeply responsible to choose a way of living now which is true to us to further support in future those who are affected by it.
Your list of reasons to smile are all the qualities we are born with. There is no comparison or jealousy just our essence that will always shine brightly.
Our essence fills every nook and cranny of the globe and when I feel this it makes things like comparison and jealousy, which I have generated my whole life seem utterly ridiculous.
Thank-you Kathryn for standing up and calling out this collective apology.
Over these past years your insight has stayed with me, i have had many instances where the amazingness that i have felt on the inside has bubbled out into my skin, my hair, make-up, skirts, jeans and I have walked, moved with a renewed confidence that says “I make zero apology for being me”.
As women we are taught to wear a mask and to fear the removal of it. This has been yet another way the ‘shadows’ have moved in and tried to hide the inner light. No baby is born with this condition in place. It is acquired as we progress in life by looking to the other women around us and calibrating ourselves, at a very young age, to that which we see being reflected. It is indeed time to break the cycle and never apologise for our innate divinity. This period of darkness is fast approaching an end. The Soul’s love and light will reign here on Earth once again.
I love this blog. It comes from the absolute known of what beauty in a woman is, and that it has nothing to do with the physicality and everything to do with the inner most essence that when cherished and celebrated shines through the physicality.
Gosh, I can’t imagine what it’s like sitting in the make up chair and having you really honour the person in front of you. The usual response would be for a make up artist to assess the canvas before them and then apply a form of strategy to get the look they were after. Here, you offer a completely different approach, a long lost approach that is all about connection first. Amazing.
This is beautiful Kathyrn as so many women reject their looks or try to change them to fit into a ‘picture’. The industry I work in has employed many young women recently and it has been interesting how many have told me they regularly have botox and some are only in their early 20’s. It is awesome you are working with women and supporting them to accept and appreciate themselves and to not treat themselves as being less anymore.
What I have found really beautiful to observe is that when we feel who we are and connect to that through our daily movements, the beauty we emanate is then seen and felt outwardly so and you cannot but look at yourself and marvel in the mirror. Our reflection then reflects the beauty of all and that is truly worth another gaze into the mirror.
It is so true, that there is a myth about being beautiful when you are young and how this fades in to the distance as age and time makes its mark on the body. And I suppose this is symptomatic of how beauty is perceived, but mostly i reckon it is a reflection of how a person has been living as to whether they feel beautiful or not. So the sum total of all our movements creates the beauty we each walk with every day.
‘See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense’ I will practice this one as accepting and see myself as the Angel is not always there and that’s when I contract and make myself lesser to fit in and hide the natural beauty I am with all kind excuses why it is not safe to come out. I am learning to feel in my body if it is truly not safe or a hurt I still carry and label this situation with.
In the past I had been very judgemental and would see people for how they looked. Since connecting with myself on a deeper level I have been able to see others from this place also. We are all incredible beautiful and when I see people through the eyes of there Soul the physical doesn’t even come into the equation.
Just making the choice of appreciating instead of judging ourselves does really make a huge difference in our face and what we express from there on
I can see the energetic map is etched across our faces, and there is an acceptance of ourselves with that. For sure I have frowned many times to get the frown lines I have. But I can also see the laughter lines, and I know our beauty always comes from within.
I too have noticed that when people are connected to there Soul and smile from here you can’t help but fall in love with them, they are so open, warm and the depth that you feel within them is very powerful.
I agree – it is a feeling of familiarity that we recognise from deep within.
Reading this comment I could feel a level of tension dissolve from my face. A layer of the mask dropped away.
I can never be reminded of this to many times. Over the recent times what I have really noticed is with the deeper connection with myself and accepting and enjoying how lovely this really is has brought a huge dose of humbleness as well. Like I don’t feel I need to go out and prove anything, that it simple just is happening and that I am not going to compromise on this for anyone.
I love this blog. It is so common to receive multiple messages everyday that feed the belief that we are not enough, those moments when we feel amazing don’t count and it is neither okay nor safe to shine. This article in contrast, beautifully and profoundly reclaims and confirms the love and power that is every woman.
The more I allow myself to see how much I have been apologetic for been an amazing woman and living a life of contraction the more I see how far I have gone from my truth. I have always felt to my very core a sense of a powerful being within, it just so happens that I am a woman in this life. So to claim this and start to connect to pure divine purpose of who I am is one that I am super keen to have a look at and start to accept who I am.
This has been a revelation to be able to walk and be claiming the Woman that I am and not to be ashamed of it. To be not apologetic for how powerful she is and that this is who I am. This is massive and I didn’t even truly appreciate that I was capping myself in such a way.
Each woman is a potential ‘BOOM, HERE I AM’ and yet most of us are walking apologies for the space we occupy and although this may feel harsh it isn’t, it comes from my lived understanding of how most of us live and equally my lived understanding of who all of us are.
Make no apology for who you are .. i love it.
‘Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.’ Number 8 is a big point and one we can all live to inspire future generations.
We as women notoriously apologise for who we are. So apology not accepted. Until it becomes the norm again, for women to truly access the abundance of love we are made of.
I love how you are not allowing women to play small and talk ourselves down Kathryn. It can be such an easy habit to fall into, especially with society’s views on ageing that we can take on with increasing wrinkles or expecting ourselves to look perfect. Instead, when we appreciate our beauty, our essence shines through whatever the outside looks like.
One thing that I have really started to become aware of is how much I would contract and hold back how amazing I was feeling because not wanting to have to be apologetic to others for making them feel uncomfortable. This has been a massive one for me and still I feel the contraction come in now and again, a pattern that feels so comfortable and secure but ultimately crushes my being and beauty to make others feel comfortable. Today I am learning to not be ashamed of the gorgeous woman that I am and without trying to prove or show anyone this but by simple claiming and confirming this in all that I do, well at least to the best of my ability which is becoming stronger and stronger day by day.
Many women have not escaped the feeling of being lesser without our face on. I know I used to never leave the house unless I had makeup on. But now it’s with a different appreciation of the beauty I am that shines naturally in my eyes, make up has become a choice not a necessity.
This is such a wonderfully inspiring, exposing and empowering blog. Imagine if instead of sympathising, agreeing and colluding with one another when we put ourselves down in the numerous ways we can do, we responded just like this blog does. Not accepting any less than the expression of the glory within every one of us.
I always grew up with a belief that I was not beautiful and I would always apologise even for my presence alone. It is great to read this, after much healing I now deeply appreciate myself as a woman. I know my beauty and because I accept this within myself it also radiates on the outside too now.
“Make no apology for how you look” this would make a fantastic headline for all womens magazines.
It will be so cool when we start to live without apology for ourselves.
I love what you have shared Kathryn, just reading your blog brings up so much joy in me in being a woman, the tips you offer are so important for young girls growing up and infact women everywhere thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom.
Showing ones passion, our real selves and smiling from the outside in is something that all women can live by. Living in a way that is not apologising for who she is, what she feels and looks like.
The 9 Point Guide to Successful Womanhood!
I love coming back to this blog and feel the love you have for yourself and all women. I agree an apology is not accepted but although I won’t say it out loud anymore, I still sometimes hear an apology in myself, it’s time to renounce this ‘not good enough’ and smile my big smile everyday.
I sat down at the hairdressers today and apologised for the state of my hair, I could see the reflection of myself in the mirror when i said this and I remembered this blog. I readjusted myself and realised there was absolutely nothing to apologise for, I am amazing just the way I am.
This is from four years ago yet it feels so fresh – I love the nine tips on how to enjoy our beauty – simple and true, especially 7: Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful.
and 8: Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.
“We are taught that we are better looking when we are young and as we age and wrinkle we lose this attractiveness. This is not true.” I agree its absolutely not true, I look beautiful and younger as I am aging, my wrinkles are a part of my beauty.
To share these very wise words – “when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” – with our young women would be such a precious gift for them; a gift that has the potential to change their future lives. In today’s society the programming of girls begins at a very early age with the destructive belief that their beauty is on the outside, confirmed day after day by the many forms of media our world is swamped with; media that has a lot to answer for as to the plummeting self-worth amongst our innately beautiful young girls as they make their way along the path to womanhood.
Beauty is so so misused, bastardized and twirled upside down away the truth. Hence, we need to come back to the true meaning – not the obvious so called ‘accepted’ form of beauty that is so absolutely false and diminishing of the true beauty in all women.
I actually feel more beautiful the older I get – so powerful is developing the connection to our innate sacredness.
Thank you Kathryn these points for reason to smile would also support men . While reading your writing , I remembered a past girlfriend who would be ashamed for me to see her without make up , so as our relationship developed I asked her what was her problem with wanting make up on all the time , she said she just did not want me to see her with out the make up . So I explained it made no difference to me , she got up set with me , and I then explained if I was blind what would she do .
Great to read this again as I got to feel that currently I do not apply make-up to celebrate my face. I don’t apply it to mask my face either but definitely do not apply it to celebrate me and all that I am. I am looking forward to changing this 💕
I had the same Vicky, I love doing my make-up in the morning, to give myself this loving attention but celebrate? Something to change and feel how this will make my day as I am pretty sure it will.
The moment we disconnect from ourselves we can’t see our true beauty or another’s.
How crazy it is that we feel we have to apologise about our looks whether it is our hair that day, our skin, the size of our nose when we are all so beautiful on the inside.
How sad that we have been sold the lie that beauty is only skin deep. If we buy into that lie we are missing the beauty that is a million times greater – our beauty shining out from the inside.
Imagine if we looked at each other and instead of compare, see the inner beauty in the other and know that it is in us too. We could use each other to be inspired to be the more we are, through each other’s reflections.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” Beautiful. If we all knew this deep inside, the world would look very different.
I just love this Kathryn… gorgeously appreciative, deeply empowering and a stunning reminder of what so many of us forget yet shouldn’t.
Samantha I agree, this is a deeply empowering blog and great reminder of what we forget the beauty and power within us.
“We are taught that we are better looking when we are young and as we age and wrinkle we lose this attractiveness. This is not true.” What a true statement, yes we are very much taught that being young is everything, we aren’t taught however, just how amazing it is to grow into your skin, to really honour one’s wisdom, that you can actually tap into at any age, not just when one gets older.
Lovely what you share about seeing the essence of a woman when you meet them, it is worth us really pondering that ourselves when we looking into the mirror, well before we start making judgements on what does not like right or could be improved. We can be our harshest critics. Ready for some self-love, over here, enough self bashing.
“I see so much more than just your features. I see your past, your worries, your thoughts, your fragility and your innermost beauty. I see and feel an energetic map of your lives etched across your face.” This is a powerful sentence Kathryn. There is much we can take from it, and acknowledge that everything we have ever lived can be read from our faces, regardless of how much make up we use to try to cover it up. By accepting we are enough just as we are allows a fragility and tenderness to be seen, that is a true reflection of who we are.
‘Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.’ Thank you for the clarity you are offering here Kathryn. I remember an elder lady at the hairdressers coming down the stairs quite slowly because of a knee or hip condition. She was lovely and sweet but in the space of 10 minutes she had apologised twice for herself, and in that self denigration she was in total denial of everything that she was and everything she had lived and brought to society.
Its such an amazing feeling when you get to a point in your life where you don’t feel you need to apologies or the thoughts dont even cross your mind because you have the dedicated time to a relationship of being with yourself and accepting that this is actually really awesome.
‘Apology not accepted’ is a great stop to realising that true beauty shines out from deep within our eyes and can be felt when we choose to let people in to feel who we truly are.
Such wise words, it is in understanding how to allow ourselves to fall in love with and commit to ourselves, this is the first and essential step to move beyond focusing on our shortcomings and hurts to build foundations for true relationship with us and certainly not accept apologies, but stand proud in our authority as a woman.
I am observing more and more that the more we accept, appreciate, honour and love ourselves the more beautiful we become and that true beauty has nothing to do with physical appearance.
Reading your sharing inspires me to see the angel within me, to accept myself the way I am, to celebrate myself everyday. Thank you.
Yes we as women are always apologising, for who we are, what we do and how we are in the world. It is about time that we claimed more of who we are and not apologise for that. There is so much we have to offer, each and every one of us.
“We are taught that we are better looking when we are young and as we age and wrinkle we lose this attractiveness. This is not true.” – Yes not true, as I am finding out for myself too. I have realised that I feel very amazing and beautiful now whereas I never felt that when I was younger,
Yes Jane me too, I forgot about it and it was so good to read it again today – it just made me appreciate how far I have come with all these issues mentioned above, and there is a little bit to go yet still 😉
This is it – “…when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” Makes no sense right? How much judging do we do to list all these apologies for our appearance etc? Starting to re-connect to our true being and the amazing beautiful beings we all are will make such a huge difference to the way we live and our well-being too.
It is interesting and very exposing how we can instantly go into some from of apology for ourselves and that we are not good enough. It starts at such a young age and it only gets progressively worse. Cutting this belief and mindset is something that needs consistent love and connection to who we truly are within. This beauty exceeds anything beyond the physical.
Thank you for this loving call to accept and appreciate ourselves just as we are and reflect that to the world and halt the self-abusive cycles that we have been caught up in for so long. Already smiling for all the reasons you have listed and more and choosing to celebrate me in all my beauty.
Imagine if women appreciated each other and shared in this way all of the time… How could comparison and jealousy exist!?
It couldn’t and it would be so awesome – true connections by all …
I love the list of 9 reasons for women to smile, especially no 8 ‘Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle’.
I feel we under estimate the reflection we give to our daughters as women, and our own lack of self worth gets in the way – is it any wonder they grow up not being confirmed, and do not know who they are.
Kathryn, this has given me much to ponder on as I have found myself making excuses for my appearance at times too. But the more I claim myself as a woman the more I am appreciating myself, and the less those negative thoughts are allowed to take hold. Our faces tell a thousand stories but our eyes always tell the truth, great sharing thank-you.
Our apology is not accepted. Hence, we got no reason to be small or live in a way that is not powerful or loving. As you are giving us an example Kathryn, no longer accept it to go the small road – when we are actually very unique and beautiful when we connect to ourselves. Crazy really, but a very loving thing to do so and appreciate that love you bring and hold within. Like you express – offers others to choose being aware of their true beauty, not one imaginary or illusionary stuff (that only deviates us away from what true beauty is) and we know the difference very well. Hence only Our choice will undo the lies.
What an amazing job and opportunity to relate to those you work with in this way. The purpose behind our choices reveals so much about how we feel about ourselves and this is not to be underestimated.
We often shy away from our vulnerability as women, I know I thought it was a weakness in the past. But I feel differently now , by claiming my sensitivity and vulnerability, I have fewer need for apologies. We can attempt to hide, but there is a better way to be by claiming ourselves.
I like this too – having fewer needs for apologies, all due to connecting to who we truly are and living from that connectedness too.
Beautiful writing, and isn’t it true that we can see peoples lives, their fears and their experiences on their face. We can’t hide the life we lead, and we have a possibility to support another to embrace themselves, accept all they are. I love that ability that is there for us all to read what is shown on another persons face and to help them appreciate the beauty that is innately there in all of us.
I Love your point “2 – When you apply makeup – do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it.” this is so simple and so true, makeup is a form to enhance the joy and beauty on our face.
This is lovely and confirming to return to and read again, Kathryn. It is really important to make a moment daily to connect to our innermost selves, and feel the passion. We may want to have our hair done nicely, we may want to look after our skin, of course these things are important, but the innermost spark is the most important of all.
It is interesting how as women we have come to feel the need to apologise for our appearance when we are not wearing make up or in comfy clothing, as if to appear normal, fresh and unaltered is something to be sorry for, or that our appearance is so unsightly that we need to excuse ourselves. Has our society become so focused on appearance that to simply be yourself, clean faced and not made up is seen as an afront. Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable when I leave the house with no make up and not having done my hair, but at the same time I remind myself that what makes me beatiful is there and visible with or without changing my physical appearance.
Love reading this again and the power that is delivered here. We have so much to gain as a woman who claims who they are in full. The world is missing out if we hold this back,
Thank you Kathryn, this is a gorgeous reminder of who we truly are.
Such a delicate blog. We are all beautiful!
Kathryn, this blog is one of many that has stayed with me.
Recently i was supported to identify and nominate some childhood hurts that i have been wearing for much of my life, although it was painful, I came to the understanding that I have made it my job for much of my life to cover up and apologise for the jealousy and resentment that was directed towards me.
Once i had clarity on this, I met up with those involved and as i dressed to see them i realised that part of this cover up had been to always dress myself down, to react & calibrate to what i felt – suddenly your blog came to me and i looked myself in the mirror and told myself that today i would make no apology for myself but would dress as the beautiful woman that i now felt myself to be – it was an amazing day, a break with these years of apology and a re-claiming of myself as an adult and a celebration of myself as a woman.
THANK-YOU.
Adele, it is so good what you share, time to stop identifying ourselves with the feelings of not feeling/being good enough. But simply starting to confirm all the beauty that is there. What a wonderful reflection they have when they meet you as a person in the make-up,modeling industry, big thumbs up!
I have never thought about the pain classically beautiful people must experience through being objectified. It must be so deep because we look at them and think “you’re gorgeous, why would you be sad”, selfishly denying them the space of feeling what they feel…
I have read your blog already a few times and each time something different is there for me to reflect on. This time it is; ‘See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.’ I have not always been able to accept the love I could see in my face but nowadays it starts to make sense and I embrace being an Angel more and more. In fact I love being an Angel.
My husband told me I looked beautiful today, I had no makeup on and was having a “bad hair day” I was all tired, I almost disagreed with him, I stopped myself because I realised what I was doing, I was apologising, I was not accepting the love that was offered, I took a breath, felt the tension and then said, thank you. I am glad that you do not accept apology in your line of work, for in that you truly love women, just for being them. Thank you for your sweet article, each time I read it, it breaks little more protection down in me.
As we get older our bodies change, this is a natural process that will happen to all of us.
This cycle of our life is actually one to be celebrated not dreaded like many women have a tendency to do. It is a time where our natural beauty comes further to the forefront as we age gracefully when we accept our self more fully. The uncertainty we often feel in our younger years drops away and our lived experience can be hugely supportive to family and community
“when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough” i know for me saying sorry was a very common occurrence in my life. In fact I still do say it a little to often, so you line above really stood out for me. To bring greater awareness to when I am saying sorry and what it can actually mean.
I LOVE reading this. Such a beautiful reminder for me to see me. To see all that I have experienced and to see deeper, to see the love that I am regardless of what’s gone on, what I’ve chosen and what I’m choosing. To see me – and not wait to be seen!
This is a beautiful sharing, and yes, ‘I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like,’ this is true, our essence shines through.
I just absolutely love the 8th point. “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.”
The fact that so many of us apologise for ourselves or put ourselves down is such an indicment on how loveless our homes and systems are, so that far from encouraging each other to live claimed in who we are, we feel the need to excuse the fact that we are present or feeling that we always have to be looking our best or feeling vital. Thanks for shining a light on this Kathryn and for supporting all the women you have met through your work how to start seeing what is truly there and the enormity of what is there to love and appreciate.
I just love this line “When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside.” The angel is within us all, do we stop and connect deeper to see the angel in our selves and others? The angel is always there, beautiful, gentle and tender angel reflecting to us our true essence.
What a powerful blog in supporting woman to feel how truly amazing they are. These pointers are truly a gift for every woman I read. These are a blessing and a gift card for all.
‘Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance’ – Thank you Kathryn. This blog is so beautiful to come back too, it holds the truth we can so often fail to feel within when we lose ourselves in the world. Deeply appreciated.
To stop apologising for ourselves we need to ask ourselves WHY do we feel the need to apologise for ourselves. It is that we feel less than another or less within ourselves due to the fact that we have lost touched with our inner essence. I know that my inner essence does not ever need to apologise, but because I am not connected to it, I often find myself putting myself less and not appreciating who I am. So….. having come to this awareness it is my duty to myself, and my responsibility, to begin to appreciate my beauty on the inside and re-claim it on the outside with no apology necessary.
Yesterday i thought of this blog as i stepped out in front of people i have spent much of my life shrinking amongst – I made no apology for my high heeled boots, my divine lace shirt, my pampered body, my steady walk, my carefully made up face – I felt beautiful and for the first time ever i was not going to hold back, calibrate & choose to be the small one history has written. A heartfelt thank-you for these words; Apology not accepted.
There is so much here and it is fantastic to bring this topic alive and expose it for what it is. We hang onto the perpetual cycle of abuse and not wanting to see that we are way more than we want to see. A game of lack of self worth – your point no. 8 ‘Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.’ – is exactly the truth and how this is going to change. We have to stop this self indulgence and comparison and connect deep within as women and feel the beauty that is strong and untouchable inside. When we allow ourselves to feel this we can’t deny how beautiful we really are.
Watching a video of someone just 4 weeks from her death recently I could palpably feel and see the essence of beauty and grace that was there, even though the body was in decay. To understand and live the fact that true beauty comes from a vitality that is generated from an inner connection is to understand where are from and who we are.
Such a gorgeous invitation to women and one that is much needed. This line particuarly stood out – “teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first”. If we dont do that – in all aspects of our lives – it is empty words. Telling someone to do something that we are not doing for ourselves. It is so much more power-full when it comes from your own lived experience and authority.
I feel seen, held and understood in your sharing Kathryn. Thank you for including everybody in your insights and experiences. We learn from each other everyday.
We as women are forever apologising for who we are. Its like there is an inbuilt mechanism that we have switched on that comes to the surface all the time, ensuring that we don’t back ourselves and put ourselves first. This is a choice we have made, it is in understanding this that we can then turn these choices around.
I love reading this blog because it is unashamedly confirming of every woman and the beauty she holds within. It’s a ‘classic’ as they say!
What a beautiful sharing for all women full of love and understanding. ” Over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” So true and such a great awareness to love ourselves and appreciate who we are with no apologies.
Every woman should read this. It is so full of love and acceptance. This is what we need more of in our lives.
It is quite incredible how often women will apologise for themselves about something or other, and you list is no exception Kathryn. I used to apologise for myself all the time but never realised it until someone pointed it out to me. Its as though we are apologising for simply existing. So to be able to claim back the fact that we are worthy of being alive, and that what we have to say has a relevance is huge for many women, and your 9 reasons for us to smile are a beautiful confirmation of this.
Nowadays if a shop assistant apologies when an item is not in stock. I tell them I will accept the apology from them on behalf of the company, but if the company has not organised their supply chain then I don’t regard it as the assistant’s ‘fault’, they can not sell what they do not have.
It is interesting to watch the change as what I have expressed sinks in.
Kathryn, I love your 9 Reasons for Women to Smile, just reading them made me smile. This warrants being printed off and stuck on the side of my bedside cabinet to remind myself everyday how beautiful I am. I especially like the part about teaching our young daughters to love themselves, how amazing it would be to nip in the bud, so to speak, any form of negative self talk about our appearance, allowing young girls to grow up claiming their beauty without the apologetic hindrance that many women have grown up with.
Agreed Kathryn, no need for apologies! And masses of room for appreciation and celebration.
True Jenny, and how we can support other women and appreciate and confirm each other more as well.
Returning to this blog again, it is so beautiful to read, so claiming for ALL WOMAN to accept and connect to their inner beauty within them first and then outer will reflect this. Through having sessions with Kathryn, you have inspired me to connect to my inner beauty and see the angel inside me (Angelic Monadic one at that), and constantly appreciate me in every way. Thank you Kathryn, definitely no apology accepted within me.
As a woman I often make excuses when I am uncomfortable about a compliment, I don’t aplogise but it feels like it is the same energy. Yesterday someone pointed out that they like my bathing suit, it was a man and I knew that they meant they liked my body in it too, I was a little uncomfortable and so the first thing I said was it was last season’s but its done me well. Looking back it felt like a funny way to answer, regardless what we feel is coming to us, as a woman I want to be able to stand up in my beauty and say, yeah I know I am beautiful.
A compliment should never be used to bolster oneself but more to confirm and consolidate the appreciation that is already there.
I agree but when we are dipping in and out of being solid in who we are, it can be tricky to read and respond to complements that come with a certain flavor.
Great claiming Sarah and now you have nominated this you can stand even more in your true beauty and power 💕
Thank you Kathryn once again for the loving reminder to take with me next time I look in the mirror, to “See the Angel within”. I have not been looking for her much lately; in fact I have actually missed her, so it’s definitely time to re-connect, starting with a smile and then looking into her glorious eyes.
“… often the supposedly ‘plainest’ face can hold the most beautiful person beneath it”. This is so true and when a person who is un-appreciative and non-expressive of their beauty is ‘brought-out’ in the way you share Kathryn, it is true beauty to behold and a gift to that person and humanity by what they are then able to bring to the world.
‘When I look, I feel for your essence in there.’ This is such a beautiful statement Kathryn. We need to get over the paradigm that beauty is only in the configuration of eyes, cheekbones and shape. Beauty lies in the essence of a person which is then either allowed to show through the body and face, or held in and hidden. Our choice then becomes how much of our essence we allow ourselves to live, and how much of our essence we allow ourselves to express.
‘Show us your passion’ – I like that Kathryn, for how many women consider themselves beautiful and consciously take time to honour that beauty? Your article is a wake up call to all women, me included (!) to take the time to appreciate who we are on the inside and not to dismiss ourselves by apologising for ourselves, which seems such a deeply ingrained habit and one that can be difficult to break, that is until we become aware of this constant putting ourselves down and begin to love our reflection and what is held underneath the surface, that is then reflected on the surface!
How gorgeous to have a session with such a beauty therapist. I wonder if women apologise for their looks, in part because they do not value their inner beauty but because we expect to be judged and ‘dressed-down’ by other women. To be held in such honouring of our inner beauty and to be seen as equal is a great blessing for women.
Our eyes are the most transparent part of our body. They reveal the wear of our life and the depth of our soul.
And a true smile comes from our eyes. ‘Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful…’
This is really gorgeous Kathryn, and I love that you introduced yourself as someone who has worked with faces and people for over 25 years rather than with makeup, because as you’ve shared it’s all about the woman rather than what is put on over the top. Our expression through clothes and makeup only reflects how we are inside.
Apology not accepted. Your loving response to our shrinking away from our glory Kathryn is so counter cultural. Until it becomes the norm again, we will never truly access the abundance of love we are made of.
When I read your blog a year or so ago I was greatly inspired to accept my face as it is. I’d been told all my life that I was ‘handsome’ a ‘compliment’ I’d reacted against all my life. I wanted to be told I was beautiful and pretty and yet I choose a lot of doing and being hard and defended. I even cut all my hair off at some point and was mistaken for a man. I associated handsome with being tarnished unwanted. The beauty I knew I was holding deep within went unseen and this saddened me that I’d not embraced it. I went around apologetic for my features that I felt were strong and masculine. So to appreciate looking in the mirror and not feeling apologetic for my features but openly accepting them and being open to feeling the purpose they hold is wonderful. Reading this blog again confirms he inspiration to deepen my appreciation of me even when it jarrs with all the preconceived notions I’ve held about what beauty is.
So much better to look through the words, and find the essence of someone in their eyes – when they have that sparkle its the most beautiful thing on earth!
Around 8 months ago my friend helped me rearrange my bedroom and put a stool underneath my mirror on my dressing table to get ready in the morning. Each morning, rather than rush getting ready standing up, I now sit down and spend time looking into my eyes. I see so much depth and clarity, an inner beauty that has nothing to do with my features it is a sparkle and emanation that shines bringhtly for all to see. It is in this connection with me that I feel my innate beauty shine.
I have been noticing how much I apologise for being me and been clocking each moment that I make myself less. I’ve been quite amazed how much I still allow this in my life as I have made huge changes with the thoughts I allow myself to think but this game I play is subtle and deeply harmful and requires consistent loving correction.
Your blog reminds me how often as women we give our power away and do not claim our power, strength and beauty. Why do we apologise so much for the amazingness that we are? Your blog makes it so clear that we, ourselves, are the ones holding it back, and it simply doesn’t make sense when every part of the world around us needs that amazingness.
It actually hurts and is saddening to feel, and be on the receiving end of how much we ” compare, compete and comply with our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends.” in terms of how we look, our face, body, clothes, hair, the way we walk, eat and carry ourselves. This can and often goes into adult hood as well, and can still be felt in work places where woman are jealous of another or others, which can often be played out into underhand remarks, comments or even just simply looks, often masked by a niceness, whilst underneath it all they hold a sadness or resentment towards a woman who is embracing her beauty and loves herself, which is in effect jealousy and inner rage at the choices this person has made to love themselves.
It’s a constant source of fascination, the myriad of ways we denigrate ourselves and others, even down to a judgemental body scan, we do without realising it. Looking deeper at the essence, feeling the person within is the connection we all are looking for and you will find a Soul mate.
This is such a great blog. I particularly love your list of ‘reasons to smile’ Kathryn, and absolutley agree with ever one of them. As I learn to accept myself for who I am and what I bring, and not for what I do, or have or have not done, I grow from an inner confidence that allows me to be myself whoever I am with. This is such a liberating feeling, to not get anxious in certain company, or not think about what I will say or do, becasue living from this place of truth only requires me to be. When I live from that place I know I will know what to do.
I love this blog!! Yes we have to stop apologizing for who we are and what we bring!
It is time to break the cycle of seeking superficial beauty as a sense of acceptance in the world. That is just had work and very draining to be looking outside of ourselves trying to fit into an image of what we perceive society wants from us. When we keep it simple and re-connect with the core of who we are and feel the warmth of the love that is deep within us all and appreciated the emanation of our love, our love, appreciation and understanding of others grows.
It is sad that at this moment in time so many women are unhappy with the way they look. World wide women suffer from their own judgement. Each one of us is so beautiful yet we do not foster and embrace this we instead use comparison and criticism to bring us down. The hugeness of this craziness is not yet fully accepted.
This blog presents something profound. The fact that women have to have ‘perfect’ faces is not just a sign of lack of self worth that has to be compensated via make up; it is also a clear sign of the war at place between women. So, how women are with each other does not help women to just be. On the contrary, it keep women in a world governed by images.
I hear women say, “oh I’m silly, stupid, clumsy” etc and I used to say these things out loud about myself, and within the internal dialogue, which many can relate to. Who is going to love us if we can not love ourselves, be gentle, be kind and understanding, with ourselves, and so these ripples will go out, it starts with knowing we are worth it.
I love this blog, as I too have been apologising for a long time in my life, for who I am, to others, in situations I didn’t need to, when passing someone in the street and they’d bump into me and ‘i would apologise’….go figure!! Over time I realised it was due to my own self worth, what and how i viewed myself. This is now very different, through the love, wisdom and teachings of the ageless wisdom from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, my life is completely transformed.
No amount of make-up or changing my appearance on the outside changed the way I felt on the inside. It was only when I truly began to make the choice to appreciate myself and connect to myself as a woman, did my eyes start to truly shine out from within confirming my inner beauty, and it was only then did I feel like celebrating myself just for being me and all negative self-talk evaporated into thin air, because I realised that too was a choice and I am worth more than that.
The other day I had my makeup done by a young guy who was working for a large department store in London and what surprised me was how comfortable I was with all of my marks and wrinkles, whereas previously I would never have gone near a makeup artist – definitely no apologies needed.
‘EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.’ – very beautiful Kathryn.
I do not apologise for being me.
For being my age and feeling amazing.
For being direct, honest and expressive.
For asking questions when I do not understand.
For being a big bomb of joy and can’t resist in sharing.
For being out in the open shining as well as for supporting behind the scenes for others to shine.
I do not apologise for being a woman.
This fully claimed self-acceptance must surely be the best lotion, potion and makeup secret ever presented to women, what a great summary and guide.
The more I accept myself and my own beauty (which I had denied for many years) the more I am able to see and feel the exquisiteness of other women and that we are equal, no different, and yet uniquely ourselves in that beauty. This has been a revelation.
This is so gorgeous and well worth coming back to after a while. I can relate to this in as much as when I do a face massage every single person is beautiful and no matter what their age, they always look young.
I love reading this blog as it is so confirming of what I know to be true that beauty is very much from within and then radiates out.
Acceptance and Appreciation are the beginning steps to allowing that true inner beauty we all hold inside, to start to unfold and emanate out.. and when we first connect to our inner essence, we know we do indeed hold that beauty within, equally with all others.
“7.Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.
8.Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” These are very powerful directives worth instilling, what a change they could make to our quality of life.
Beauty comes from within, never from outside ourselves. It is the light that we have shining out seeking the glorious soul in our every being.
I always feel true beauty is in the eyes, and in the fully accepted features of our bodies, this shines out, it is the inner knowing that shows true beauty.
We know this and yet still struggle to live it – but step by step and expressed my more and more people, the tanker will turn.
When we are full of love for ourselves we feel a need for the outside world to see us a certain way to fit in and belong in society and live up to the pictures ideals and beliefs about ourselves as women we feel complete as the beautiful woman we already are.
“When I see your face, I see and feel your eyes. Your windows, your truth and often your hiding. I also feel your sadness, joy and hurt and so much more…” Kathryn this is such a beautiful blog and one that will continue to inspire women for years to come. We are so good at putting ourselves down when in company, and when we’re alone we just override what we really feel inside. To have a reflection such as you confirming that all our beauty is there already for all to see, regardless of what we wear, how we do our hair or the make up we put on our face is a true blessing.
The more I develop my relationship with me, the more I know how beautiful I really am! And the more I feel and see the beauty in everyone else!
Kathryn, this is so essential for all women to read time and time again. “When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside.” What a confirmation for just how beautiful we all are from the inside out.
beautifully written form an expert in the field – I love seeing the beauty in the faces of women and men I see in the street every day – there is never not something beautiful about a person be it physical or not – and more often than not, beauty is so much more than just the physical – people fall in love with naked souls far more than they do with naked bodies.
We spend so long focusing and obsessing on the outer picture that we see. And when it doesn’t fit into the box we’d like it to, it’s like we give up and resign ourselves to a life of feeling ugly. Never do we look at the image and picture we have inside and this it seems is powerfully affecting all we see and do. So I am grateful to read there are now Inner Image Consultants like you Kathryn to help people realise these pictures are blockages in the way of embracing and loving our true beauty.
Kathryn -such a beauty-full blog appreciating and honouring woman, the essence of who we are, each and everyone of us.
What stood our for me today was this loving gesture: “Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.”
I have read this before and found it beautiful, but until today I had read it as though you were talking to other women – not me. Today is the first time I have read the ‘9 reasons for women to smile’ and realised you are talking to me – that there is so much in here for me – that there is inspiration for me here and work to be done. Loving work but work that requires dedication all the same.
We are all beautifull no matter what age, race, culture, scars etc. Recently I have been giving Energetic Facial Releases (as presented by Universal Medicine in Sacred Esoteric Healing) voluntarily at events; and it is such a gift to do these, every time it is like I fall in love with who the person truly is when I am giving the treatment. We definietly need to accept and appreciate ourselves more.
“We compare, compete and comply. With our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends”… it is very unfortunate that this is often the case, mostly unconscious of course, but nevertheless true, and what a shame, considering we are all angelic beings together on this planet, all yearning for love and not knowing where to look. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge one another and look deeply into each others eyes, without apologies or excuses and just accept each other for who we are, BEAUTY-FULL.
Reason number 10, ‘Smile your big smile’ because it gladdens the heart of another.
Can I add another reason for women to smile no. 10. When I shower, wash, dry off, dress and groom I do all by how I feel how much I care and nurture myself. I trust and keep honouring the quality I am feeling.
When I dress in this way I always end up impressing myself with the finished product – Me!
“We are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life.” So much is judged from an outer view on what success is when success is how much love you allow in and how much you express out to all equally. I heard as Souls we all look the same. So what’s the difference – the quality of expression.
Thanks Kathryn for going deeper than the layers of skin
A truly beautiful blog, ideals of beauty seem to conjure up a lot of negativity – judgment, self criticism, self doubt, comparison, jealousy etc. What your blog highlighted to me is how rare it is for women to speak to other women the way you have expressed here – yet what you have shared feels so natural and normal. This is a true beauty revolution which stems from love, love for ourselves and love for each other. There is also a truth to the word “beauty” which is expressed here – living on the surface of ourselves is simply not enough, as who we are is deep, full, and beyond the physical. Let’s get on with celebrating ourselves and everyone around us for the true beauty we all emanate.
This article is so powerful and it’s empowering to feel its truth. I’ve always felt the need to apologize not just for my facial features, my body but for all my expression. How very sad and such a disservice to humanity to not be in connection with my beauty, appreciating this gorgeousness in all its glory for all to experience also. So those moments when I’m critical I can just stop and reconnect to my essence. Judgement has no place. Even if I can feel its yucky energy I’ve allowed into my body focusing on the love that I am, it will leave.
What if we all stopped the conversation when some one said ‘sorry’ for this or that, and a took the conversation deeper? Much would be revealed.
What an awesome invitation and reminder of the essence of who I am being not what I look like!
I love the quote you offered at the beginning, that essentially it is easier to work on beautifying our exterior than it is to accept the innate beauty within.
You are right Adam, we have forgotten our innate nature and the beauty of our essence, and instead will go to any measure to beautify our outside appearance. But no amount of make-up, cosmetic surgery, botox or such like will connect us to what we already hold within, and accepting that seems to be what we are avoiding.
Simply looking into the eyes of someone who knows and loves themselves can be an inspiration all in itself… Because there is such beauty being reflected back.
As a woman I can relate to this, I have spent much of my life apologising for my presence, I never considered myself beautiful but only ever looked at what was wrong with me. I now realise that I hold much beauty and I am now starting to get more comfortable in allowing this to be expressed outwardly.
Proof that in connection everything becomes medicine, even beauty tips!
“We are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life.” Just as a baby is only considered happy if it smiles, societies definition of joy and success is outside of who we truly are and what we truly feel – it requires for us to be more of everything happier, prettier, livelier, smarter to be noticed and seen.
Once again it is the connection with ourselves and with others that will confirm that there is nothing we need to change but everything there to enhance.
Both the permission and the absoluteness of refusing to accept the apology is hugely powerful.
What an amazing sharing of the beauty of all women that we so often do not see ourselves as we are constantly comparing and judging against what we are taught and reflected to us. Truly looking into our eyes and our smile from within is who we are and it is through appreciation that allows us to shine our own gloriousness to the world . To not want to hide under make up and ourselves and instead wear it to bring out and enhance our own innate beauty instead lovingly.
As a beauty advisor I experience women apologising to me every day for the way they look. The pressure women put on themselves to look perfect is huge. I love meeting them for the person they are and relating to them in a way that does not focus on the makeup but focuses on how they are feeling. When we have established a deeper connection the makeup then becomes a bit of fun that we can have a playful time with, and not the absolute necessity that they have believed it to be.
Thank you Kathryn for busting through many diminishing behaviours and beliefs that we can be seemingly stuck in… When we let these go the beauty that we innately are naturally shines through.
How ‘refreshing’ it is Chrissie – the way you are supporting yourself and other women to understand ‘hot flushes’. This will be such a very welcome ‘change of life’ and attitude for women all over the world. It is well over due that women can feel what is truly available when menopause starts – it is an opening up of a deeper connection with ourselves not a loss or endurance test but a choice of loving connecting.
I spent years apologising for myself. It still sneaks in from time to time, but mostly it feels gorgeous to claim who I am, and to appreciate my own beauty with others. I have realised that I do have a place in this world, that other people are interested in what I have to say and want to listen, and that I am as beautiful now as I was when I was a baby. My appearance has changed, but nothing has changed on the inside, and this is my true beauty, the same as it is for everyone else.
Wow thank you for the tips Kathryn; I will definitely do a few of these when I look in the mirror whilst doing my make up or getting ready. What fantastic advice, never have I read such gorgeous advice on beauty than here. Thank you
You show brilliantly Kathryn how we can all apologise for having the temerity to be here, to be living, to be a breathing human being. It is as if we have on some deep level done something wrong, that we have chosen something ‘bad’ to have aged and changed from the young baby we once were. But what your words remind me of is that this essence never truly goes – we are not designed to be ageless or without challenging scenarios, but we are simply here with every cell, to be Love.
This is such a great line: “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.” As mothers so many of us project onto our daughters what we ‘want them to be’ because of our own lack of self worth, whereas by truly valuing ourselves our daughters will very naturally learn to love themselves for who they are and not for what they look like.
I love this blog. It is so refreshing to be reminded that even on days when we do not feel so great, we do not have to hide behind a layer of makeup, as all the beauty we need is already within us. We just have to remember to stay connected to that which is true.
What great reasons to smile! Connecting to and accepting our own unique beauty which has nothing to do with how we look on the outside but yet which naturally allows our inner beauty to emanate out.
This is so beautiful Kathryn, I feel like once I accept my face as part of a divine plan, part of housing the amazing being I am, it all begins to make sense. When you describe the war on women as this telling us we are not good enough, instead of seeing it for that, we joined in. How crazy. This for me is totally in the past. I will no longer subscribe to that nonsense, I will be the woman I feel I am.
This is beautiful Kathryn, ‘When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside.’ Often we are just prepared to look at the surface level…looking a little deeper doesn’t take much and the inner beauty can be seen and felt even if the exterior is masking it in the moment. Inner beauty cannot be masked no matter how hard we try to conceal it.
Lovely and absolutely true quote “The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy”.
‘When you apply makeup – do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it.’ Wow we would have a loving make -up revolution if we followed even this one gorgeous beauty tip!
“It’s an unspoken war on women, and we are the enemy”. To see the essence within like you do Kathryn is a gift by reflection to the client, and a sad fact that we all can’t appreciate we all share equally the same inner beauty, this shows in our eyes and smile and it’s who you are…. to be in appreciation of your unique expression of this beauty.
Kathryn, we are so similar in the fact that we deal with people apologising for the way they look. For me it is teeth that are the focus.
When people tell me how awful their teeth are I remind them of the truth, that it is the eyes through which we connect to each other, and that the beauty of our smile is not made of parts, but the reflection of our essence through our face and our whole body, for all to enjoy.
I read a comment a few days ago that stopped me in my tracks. I can’t remember it word for word but it spoke about a woman who knows her own beauty. I thought “Wow, imagine that”. An older woman I know came to mind and the grace and ease with which she moves through the world. She knows her own beauty. When we don’t embrace or know our own beauty there is an unsettlement and almost anxiety in us. In contrast, in the women I know who do know there own beauty have such stillness.
Very inspiring Kathryn. Lately I have been taking the time to look at myself when sitting down at my dressing table in a different way than usual. I used to look at myself to see how I looked, check my hair, my makeup but not to truly see myself. I have been making the effort to spend a few minutes just looking at me and seeing my beauty from within. Thoughts come in of what looks “wrong” but I’m learning to dismiss them and to see and be in the presence of my beauty more and more.
YEAH – lets claim it girls.
I am not sorry that I am so beautiful,
not sorry that I reflect heaven on earth,
not sorry about bringing grace into this living and
not sorry at all to be the amazing joyful, sexy women I am.
I express this all for you, to remember us all where we are coming from.
Please join me & Inspire me to express even more! Lets rock this planet.
Such a beautiful blog Kathryn. I enjoyed a lot reading it. It’s true that we have to stop this unspoken war on women just accepting, connecting and embracing the everlasting beauty that resides within ourselves. When I connect I can see my beautynes with or without make up. My eyes bright and I smile looking at me in the mirror. Then I feel the joy and I celebrate the connection with myself and with all the women in this world.
Coming back to this blog makes me smile inside and out. I love the confirmation for all women to know that they are beautiful. And I love your reasons to smile and to just pick one this day. ‘Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful.’
Allowing ourselves to get distracted by the many images portrayed in woman’s magazines, tv. high street advertising etc etc…certainly put it out there that we as women had to comply to a certain ‘look’ and get the latest ‘make-up’, clothes, shoes ….anything outside of ourselves that would define actually what beauty looked like. Yes previously I fell for that illusionary tale too. Just look into the eyes and, as you share with us Kathryn true beauty is there for all to see just shining away.
Always a lovely blog to come back to. It opens us up to seeing the truth of who we are on the inside and outside. Our journey shown on our face, is an exquisite map of where we have been, and changing over the years for all to see.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” This comment is so true the beauty we all emanate when we are present and connected with our essence is absolute true beauty.
“We are taught that we are better looking when we are young and as we age and wrinkle we lose this attractiveness. This is not true.” I absolutely love this statement and I can feel how true it is. When I feel what beautiful is it is clear that there is no age associated with it.
In reading this again today – what a joy. It reminded me of a relative who would rush indoors if anyone unexpectedly called round to put on her lippy (lipstick). This was her style of presenting herself to most people in her life. Her comfort blanket so to speak but the apologies would flow just in the many ways that you share with us Kathryn.
“…when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough…” this is such a great statement to remember.
I love everything about this blog Kathryn, your poetic expression, your passion, your love and your message. But today what strikes me is something I can personality relate to and that is no. 9 on your list of Reasons to Smile: “Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” I do this is it is totally divine, inspiring and confirming to see the gorgeous me looking back at me as opposed to simply a reflection of a physical face I used to think was never up to the societal standards of classic beauty. That true beauty is beheld in our eyes and we can see that when we look deeply into our own is definitely reason to smile, and a thing to deeply appreciate and unapologetically celebrate.
So true, Jeanette, what a gorgeous way to appreciate ourselves by simply feeling the depth in our eyes looking in the mirror. It’s impossible not to smile.
I know right gillrandall. I challenge anybody to look deeply into their own eyes and, see their essence looking back at them and not smile 🙂
So true, It is impossible not to smile. Our eyes communicate even more with us then, truly beautiful.
Thank you Kathryn this is so beautiful to read and feel into. This is an article that needs to be out there for all women of every age to read and discover the real true beautiful essence that lives within all, just waiting to be discovered.
‘The differences between them have been distinctive, yet I have loved every single one of them.’ What a beautiful thing to say and even more so to true feel that way. To see the beauty in each and every person without getting distracted by images or expectations is a true gift to have and something worth practicing.
Oh Sandra that’s a beautiful way to appreciate the Angel within, and then share that tenderness … I look forward to meeting you!
Since reading this last I have surrendered to a deeper loving acceptance of my unique expression it’s been a process of facing the layers of protection I have put in front of me. In the healing of removing these I am able to deepened my self love … I particularly love 6. See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense. Oh actually 1 to 9 are all really gorgeous reminders.
Kathryn, I’m going to do this right now, this morning before I go out, it will be the medicine I can give myself to bring me back to appreciating me… “Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance”, thank you for the inspiration and timely reminder… and then when I am talking to others I will look at them with the same tenderness that I allowed for myself 🙂
Kathryn, I love your article, it really makes me smile and appreciate myself and all other women and makes me aware of how very uniquely beautiful we all are. I love this too, ‘Start expressing your true thoughts about beauty with your friends – open up the opportunity to connect withOUT comparison.’ i can feel with my friends how we look very different; colouring, face shapes, features, but that all of us are gorgeous in our own unique way, lovely to feel and appreciate this.
This is so true and to really embrace each other for what each of us bring is something that we have found so very difficult. To truly appreciate and adore each other really comes from us having this with ourselves first and then we can see the magnificent beauty in all of us. This allows NO room for any comparison what so ever because it literally can not exist.
This is a beautiful reminder of how precious we are – connected in essence and loving self means we love all others. This is the beauty of who we are.
How beautiful it is to begin to allow the depth of our beauty to be felt. We are all so precious.
By re-reading this lovely blog what got me this time was the sentence: “See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense” – and I found me with tears in my (angel-) eyes. What a joy to reconnect to who I am and see what is there to be seen!
And always has been Shirley-Ann. Exquisite blog Kathryn and one that gets to the heart of what true beauty is.
To know we are never alone we always have our Angel within that is our precious, tender inner beauty. How could you not accept and appreciate this gift from God.
Yes Shirley-Ann, it is indeed! And she had never gone away, from each and everyone of us. What a delight to reconnect with this angelic quality that we all have and to see ourselves for who we truly are. Thankyou for your gorgeous blog Kathryn.
That is easily the most valuable beauty advice and list of beauty tips anywhere in the world.
Absolutely agree with this Gabriele. What Kathryn has written here is pure gold.
I agree Gabriele- the internet is plastered with beauty advice and all of it saying “you are not enough as you are and here is a way to fix that”. Kathryn Fortuna writes from an embodied knowingness, with an understanding of true beauty and the perils of seeing beauty as something skin deep. I suspect KathrynFortuna could write a whole book about this and the world sorely needs to hear it.
and I would certainly buy a copy and leave it out for all to read.
I so agree Gabrielle because it asks you to see the true beauty of self and to not apologise for being the beautiful, unique and amazing person you are. Our beauty is not skin deep but comes from us seeing the true beauty we each hold within.
That is so true Gabriele and is also wonderful that you don’t have to pay for it!
“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy” – this is such an interesting quote you have picked out Kathryn, as it is so true. When that passion is there, makeup need only be an enhancement instead of a covering-up
Reading this blog and your great reminder to look in our own eyes in the mirror and appreciate ourselves reminded me of the period in my youth where I had such horrible acne that I did not want anyone to see me or even go in public, and I would try anything to make it go away. But the amazing thing I realised just now is how I would many times look in the mirror in my eyes and feel that there was an inner pureness and beauty there that the acne could not distort or mask, and I appreciated that. But later when my complexion cleared completely, I did not take the time to notice that as much. Perhaps it is time to appreciate that inner essence in myself and others more often. Also, I can feel how maybe the acne was a way for me to hide from the world that I felt was so cruel and mean, and did not want to share my Light with people for fear of being attacked like the others I had observed. I thank you Kathryn for helping me to understand this more deeply.
Kathryn, this is a confirmation about the love I am and you see in every face. Thank you.
…”Make no apology for how you look…” This is pivotal, as the pressure and expectation in society is all but upon how we look, and from this shallow point of view, much judgment and comparison is found. Yet how wrong can these judgments be once you get to know someone… The way we look, carry ourselves, express, has everything based upon how we feel and the relationship we have with ourselves.
It is so rare to hear women talk about themselves without putting themselves down. It is so lovely to read blogs like this one that celebrate women for who they are in essence.
I have witnessed women state that they feel more beautiful on the inside after altering their looks with plastic surgery. This seemed ridiculous to me, but reflects an attitude that people will do anything to feel better and not address why they feel bad in the frist place. And it is surely the case that one becomes compulsively addicted to more surgery or tattoos etc. because of never addressing the cause. On the other hand I have seen many women at Universal Medicine courses change so amazingly through seeking understanding on why they are holding issues around poor self worth and low self esteem. Those changes are permanent and wonderfully inspiring. They look younger, clearer, more radiant and the brilliance and depth of the light in their eyes is so gorgeous.
Its been a while since I last read this amazing sharing from you Kathryn – one of those offerings that shares so much that I am reflecting on and processing at different periods in my life. Today my inner smile just expanded again as I read “Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful”. 🙂
It was so timely to return to this most beautifully supportive blog today, and the message that stood out for me this time was: “When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside.” These words brought me to tears as I could feel how often I have gone into judgment when looking at myself in the mirror seeing only the perceived “imperfections” and not the beauty that was shining through; and of course then there is the similar judgment of others. Today I will take these words with me and I know that I will be seeing many angels reflecting their inner and outer beauty to me, and one of those angels will be me.
It is very beautiful to read how you, a professional make-up artist, hold a person in their essence. I have often felt intimidated by those professional men and women in beauty/fashion industry and assumed they would be tutting at how I looked and what I was not doing right according to their standard. You are totally breaking the consciousness of that industry. Hooray!!!!
Your comment Fumiyo brought up a momentus moment for me to reflect upon whilst in a well known fashion house in London (a few years ago). Whilst looking at the products. A young man approached and he’d obviously ‘judged’ me by my outer appearance and said I think madam is in the wrong apartment. Yes quite a red faced moment but I held myself steady and responded “no I just think your prices are too high”! (no apology that day) another indication of how society lives on ‘looks’. So agree with you Fumiyo, Kathryn is certainly breaking the consciousness of that industry.
Kathryn returning to this blog regularly is like having a loving facial, a reminder of the divinity bursting for loving expression from within. Today I rest with inspiration 8: ‘Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.’ So beautiful, thank you Kathryn for this drop from heaven which I take into my day and express with a sparkle in my lovely eyes.
Kathryn, I love to return to this blog because I think I’ve nailed this one, and then something crops up and I’m back in the old pattern of apologising for myself again. It shows what a deep insidious thread the lack of self worth is, I imagine everyone else is perfect and I’m below the mark. Connecting to knowing my own greatness that my essence is divine and my physical body is a only a small part of me destroys the illusion that beauty is skin deep, beauty comes from within.
gillrandall I can relate to the insidious thread of lack of self-worth that for me seems to be there waiting for me to lose sight of who I am really, and can take hold like a rampant virus until arrested again. This blog is a great antidote to that ill-ease, and reminds me that yes, I am the angel within and therein lies an undeniable beauty yearning to express itself.
‘Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.’ If we take the time to just study ourselves a little we can learn so much. That seems like such a simple statement yet it is profound. We can see the tired, the sad etc etched into the surface, but look a little deeper and WOW in the depths there is an innermost beauty and wisdom and it lives untouched in all of us.
What I realised reading your super supportive blog Kathryn is how much the world relies heavily on our outer looks, this still counts for more than the beauty we carry within us. This is why I like your point 8. “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle”
It has taken me many years to learn that I do not have to constantly apologize for myself. Apologizing for ourselves seems to be second nature to some women and it is very freeing not to be doing this any more.
Yes I relate to this too Elizabeth, I used to do this all the time and the more I have returned to my self the less I have felt the need to apologise, very liberating indeed.
And the beauty of your reflection is not only breaking the consciousness on the outside: but – and to me this is the big bang: on the inside. That we start looking at ourselves with love, see the amazing woman we are looking in the mirror and not the nose with spots, the eyes with wrinkles or hair too thin. That we start seeing us. That’s an act of love*
I agree christinahecke, breaking the consciousness that has kept us in a cage is necessary to free us from the shackles of self-loathing which have kept us way from loving ourselves. I have only just realised the true meaning of self-nurturing, and to self nurture does not mean to criticize or shy away from looking at ourselves in the mirror and acknowledge who we truly are. We won’t accept our glory until we begin to feel it on the inside and this is simply done by committing to loving every aspect of ourselves, including our pimples, warts and all!
Yes Christina I am with you. Truly seeing ourselves is the ultimate act of love. Because from there we emanate. 🙂
I find its the same when looking at other people as well… do we get distracted by the surface… blemishes, emotions displayed or even a ‘pretty face’ or do we give ourselves the time and space to see within? When we do we see so much more of the other person.
Your words are spot on, Kathryn! It’s very honoring, deeply loving and great acceptance to feel reading your blog: I work in the film industry and have been on many make up artists chairs – no one ever said words like this! This should be a teaching base on make up artists education. That it’s not about making you more beautiful, not about hiding wrinkles and not about bettering your look. It is simply – when using make up at all – to support your look that day you wish it to be* Really inspiring!
‘When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside.’ and even when I couldn’t see this myself to have someone else see it and support with with choices and letting go of behaviors that did not support me living with that understanding was simply life changing. Thank you to all the universal medicine students and practitioners who are living with a commitment to expressing this everyday.
Perhaps the reason we view beauty as only skin deep is because we have yet to reconnect to our essence and believe that is who we are – just the physical. By claiming ourselves as divine we know our physical body is temporary. It makes sense then that I would naturally connect to the essence I am in the mirror if I live from that connection and claimed place. Otherwise, it’s a pretty big signal I’m viewing myself as much, much less!
Yes Melinda this is very interesting. Because we view ourselves as the shell and not the being within we then almost ignore our divinity and celebrate the outer. It’s like adoring the box without opening it to find the diamond inside. Once we open the box and discover the diamond we then seem to appreciate the whole package a lot more. 🙂
Shells are made to be cracked open to reveal the seed inside, the seed in our case being the ‘Angel’ . TIme to spread our wings and claim our divine right to walk in the world in all our glory and bring gold to each loving footstep. I have stopped apologising for myself and have become very aware of how much people, especially women, choose to self-criticise, and I realise how destructive that can be as it adds to their already heavy burdens from the busyness and impositions from others that they allow in their lives. Wings are symbolic of course of the love that surrounds us and is inside us, so let’s continue to spread our wings and hold every human being in love, and let them feel their own Angel within.
Very beautiful Sandra. Thank you.
It is so important what you share here. it is never about how somebody looks like. We have always the opportunity to look through the mask of a person and connect to the inner beauty of the other person. It is always our choice. And when a real connection between two people happens, life starts to become joyful.
So true and beautifully expressed thank you alexander1207
True beauty lives in our hearts and our bodies, and shines out of our eyes, radiating for all the world to see the depth in connection that we choose to be.
So true cjames2012, and it’s a beauty that is timeless and shared by all. This beauty unites, and does not separate. Inner beauty is a true reflection, not a false one.
Very true cjames2012, when we connect to our essence we can feel the beauty and essence in everyone, without exception, irrespective of how much they try and hide it.
For a long time we have been sold this beauty lie. It feels so great to be breaking away from this and coming back to the real meaning of beauty. The more I allow the acceptance of the way I look, the more joyful I become and the more this shines from my face. That’s beautiful.
Yes very beautiful Amanda, what you have shared really is. I agree, we have been sold a lie, one that impacts us as women when we are very young, through school, magazines, billboards, tv. We are not taught about acceptance, that the way each of us look is beautiful. We really do need to seek and feel that for ourselves. Be able to look in the mirror and say….I am beautiful.
Yes no more comparing, competing and complying – Just be our beautiful selves.
I am with you Marion, and no more sorry for how we look. The key word is appreciation!
I have found that in order to truly feel ones own beauty from the inside, you do have to look at what it is that holds you back from feeling that love within. It doesn’t just appear one day from saying things to yourself in the mirror. It is a process and discovery of allowing, feeling, healing hurts and acceptance. These begin to create space for appreciation. Appreciation is something that I am still allowing into my life more and more. It hasn’t been a natural way of being just yet. But I keep bringing that into my life, my choices, this does allow me to feel deeply differently about myself and then how i see and view others.
Reagan, this is beautiful to hear and I am on a similar path. I agree, appreciation is a process of allowance, letting go, surrendering , being fragile and healing past hurts.
I agree raegankcairney, our ability to feel our own beauty just does not happen out of nowhere. For me it has been a process of learning to discard what I had taken on about myself that simply was not true and then to accept how utterly divine I am.
Beuatifully said raegankcairney – it is amazing how things can change when we choose to allow space for appreciation.
Knowing that our true inner beauty simply shines out of our eyes brings such a different and loving perspective to the way we live , ( and really takes the pressure off ..! ..:-)
This tight and narrow definition of beauty keeps us trapped in a game where we don’t measure up. Whereas the truth of our matter is we are timeless, gorgeous and divine. Its just the the thoughts that make us want to apologise that are ugly, deformed and not needed in life. When I find myself getting them this blog and your words Kathryn inspire me to come back and give myself a great big hug and understand that our beauty is so much more than those narrow lies would have me settle for.
What a beautiful blog Kathryn, thank you for writing it. There’s nothing like a person smiling from that well of joy that they know they are, it’s contagious because we know we have that same love inside us. Your job must bring you great joy Kathryn as you witness on people’s face’s their beauty rising up from within them.
I so love this blog, every time I read it it makes me smile 🙂
“When you apply makeup – do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it.” How beautiful is this statement? We normally try to mask our features and cover up, but to apply make-up as a celebration completely changes the game!
….and if we pause for a moment of honesty it is easy to feel which attitude we are applying make-up with.
This self-depreciation and criticism is a disease that absolutely infects men too. I have had a stringent strain of this virus myself. When I read your words Kathryn today I feel our absolute and true power to stop and say ‘no I don’t accept these harming thoughts – my beauty is bountiful, its in every fibre in me, its a light that shines effortlessly bright, without me needing to do or achieve’. “The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion” said Yves, but from what I can see and feel the most beautiful makeup of every human being is Love. An essential part of our natural makeup.
‘Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.’ Well said – so often we apologise because of imposed ideals or beliefs about how things should be. Simply allowing ourselves to express who we truly are needs no apology…ever.
“EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.”, within the soul lies the true beauty and as we allow ourselves to connect to our soul, the beauty naturally emanates out. The soul is pure and untouched full of love and light, the essence Is felt as we allow our connection to our soul.
Re-reading this awesome sharing again today, reason 8 really stood out for me. “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle”. This is a ‘cracker’ this I feel is the key to breaking old familiar traditions, hand me down patterns and old behaviours that so impress and ingrain into our younger generation.
What a great list and one to come back to when I need a pep talk. It’s so true that as women we comply with outer so-called benchmarks of beauty and fashion and spend way too much energy in comparing and competing with other women instead of appreciating our differences and honouring when someone looks amazing. I agree that it’s up to us to break the mould on this and to talk to each other without comparison and more importantly without apology or lack of self-worth, so that women in the generations that follow can truly accept, embrace and enjoy their very own natural, innate beauty of whatever variety has come their way.
When I was growing up I would apologise to everyone and everything about how I looked I even felt sorry for the mirror having to look back at me! Low self worth and low self esteem was a poison I drunk regularly. I had the perfect excuse as it was the drug I could find anywhere everywhere. What I realise now is that I was creating the issue that it was all an excuse for not owning up and claiming the love that I am. Looking around at today’s society many women are still choosing to be less and a lot of this is to do with us not having true role models who genuinely love and and deeply appreciate themselves. This is where Women in Livingness is brining fundamental change, role models such as Sara Williams and Natalie Benahayon are showing us there is another way, and that way is to celebrate every nook and cranny of who we are and leave low self worth and low self esteem way way behind.
For so much of life we seem to spend our days attempting to hold on to a beauty of Youth and days gone, yet what we do not see is that this flows not from creams or magazines but a quality of natural innocence and zest. Its this effortless child-like joy we miss. As you illustrate Kathryn, it’s living this that brings real beauty back.
Its an interesting phrase ‘effortless child-like joy’. I can’t think of any reason, other than our own impositions why we can’t have an effortless adult-like joy if we just put down the stick and stop beating ourselves up!
Kathryn, I love your list of ‘9 reasons to smile’. As women we can spend so much time for apologising for how we look instead of claiming our innermost beauty and letting that shine out, regardless of whether or not we are wearing makeup or have freshly washed hair. I woman who loves herself deeply will simply emanate her glorious self.
Absolutely Sandra ” a women who loves herself deeply will simply emanate her glorious self” , as she claims and connects to inner beauty that shines outs.
I absolutely love this blog and what it means when you say “Apology Not Accepted.” You’re absolutely right, the moment we apologise for anything about ourselves, we are saying we are not good enough and that then magnifies in our bodies and we go on to keep saying it and keep believing it. Through the teachings of Universal Medicine, I have begun to realise that we must appreciate ourselves more, even for the little things, for the little things are what make up the big picture. Every moment that I make a loving choice, I appreciate it and that now magnifies in my body, so every day I am appreciating myself more and more. I recently had a n interview where I was asked what I see when I look in the mirror and I truly felt to say….”Beauty and Grace”! I celebrate and appreciate that I found Universal Medicine every day. Whoop Whoop!!!
That is the key Belinda Jones – to appreciate every loving choice we express rather than focus on beating ourselves up for the not so loving choices. A little light just flickered in my awareness about how our thoughts magnify in our body and either exponentially expand us or exponentially enslave us in self-doubt and worthlessness.
Gorgeous Belinda. Thank you for sharing you and your beauty and grace 🙂
Love what you say here Belinda Jones, “Beauty and Grace” claimed as your own. Whop whoop!!! Congratulations.
Thanks Kathryn for your amazing sharing. It is really time not to make any excuses, not to hold back, not to keep myself small due to some false beliefs and ideas I have about myself. It is important to honor what I really am – a delicate, tender and vulnerable man.
Beautifully said alexander1207. It is as equally relevant and important for men to honour themselves in this way too, and the more you connect to your inner beauty the more the false ideals and beliefs of what you have been led to believe it means to be a man will fal away and your beautiful inner essence will shine out, just as it idid when you were a little boy.
Coming back to your blog Kathryn is so uplifting, a great way to start the day with a reminder to smile my true smile and not be afraid to show who I am on the inside. Thank you.
I have done this, apologised for looking messy or not coming as prepared as I would have liked, it was almost as though I would say it before some else did. There is much that has changed in my life, I no longer berate or criticise myself as I once did and I also along side this honour myself more, so I natural am more prepared and ready for life. It is significant to be aware of how often we are self critical and don’t appreciate the innate beauty we have.
What you have shared Kathryn is so affirming for women and I love reading and feeling it. To understand the energy behind how we dress or put makeup on is so freeing in that we can choose to cover up or express our gorgeousness- totally different expressions.
Looking into my mirror every day is such a clue to how I’ve prepared for going to bed and lived my day the previous day. When that natural sparkle smiles back at me I know that all of me is present and open to that love eminating from within. Such a joy to return to your sharing Kathryn – thank you.
Kathryn – what a great reminder for us all in appreciating ourselves more.
“Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.”
And ‘Know that you chose your looks for a reason.’ and appreciate this fact I would say. I can feel such love for myself when I look into my eyes and see my wrinkles and the loveliness I can read from my face. It is not always there but when I do make the time it is delightful.
Kathryn I love the line..”when you smile from the deepest part of yourself. I have often noticed that in women when they are celebrating a precious moment with themselves or another. There is no amount of make up that can hold back the pure beauty in that moment.
Such moments are not limited by age or gender. Its pure gold when the beauty of our true selves shines forth.
To smile a smile ‘from the deepest part of themselves’ their soul – is so magical and joyful to feel. No make up required.
Marion, as I read your comment -smiling a smile from the deepest part of ourself – our soul, I feel such loving and warm expansion in my body which ultimately made me naturally smile, from within out, so beautiful to feel and claim!
Yes it is joyful and magical to feel Marion. It is only because we have disconnected from our inner essence that we don’t feel our inner beauty, therefore we have a responsibility to show the world how beautiful we are by deepening that connection with ourselves and let them feel the depth of our eyes and let go once and for all any ideals and beliefs around what it is to BE beautiful, when are ARE innately beautiful.
I can feel your huge smile from the deepest part of you, smiling at me Marion as I read your comment. Thankyou. I will take that with me and hold you in my heart tonight.
Love this comment Marion – a deep whole being smile. There is no denying or reducing the joy of being soul full.
Absolutely Marion Hawes, and if we then add a little make-up we can knock their socks off because we would be applying it through a deep love and appreciation for ourselves to reflect our beauty outwards, because we really feel it on the inside, and not use it to cover a multitude of flaws, and make-up then becomes an enhancement to our already glorious selves and not a mask or a cover up.
And what one truly gets to feel when being the recipient of that smile is so awesome, and of course smiling from that place is such joy, it is like a warm gentle wave touching every particle, and we can see how it transforms people in that moment.
Wow, loved this. Just stunning to read. This should be in every beauty magazine ever printed – on the first page. It time to stop hiding our beauty and celebrating it instead.
agreed Samantha. So many women are trapped by the ideal of what it is to be beautiful, and as a result spend many, many years in the misery of not being able to appreciate their own reflection.
Many lifetimes can be wasted when we are not in the true love and appreciation of ourselves, and I have been no exception to that! Realising that I have spent years walking around in an aura of misery and self-judgement was a big ouch for me, so then I had the option to stay like that and waste more time, or change my way of being and make the choice, not to mention the responsibility, to open up and let love in, then I can let others in too and that is beginning to feel to lovely and so more ME. I always wondered who the real me was, and now I am beginning to feel it I even have to hold onto my own hat 🙂 !
And many many dollars Adam to try and change things from the outside.
This here is so true Adam. While we are trapped in the ideal the years role on and we sometimes never connect to our own inner beauty. I see this all the time where I work and it affects everyone. We have a responsibility to know our own natural beauty and share it with the world.
You make a point Adam that is worth understanding, being ‘trapped by the ideal’ is a very accurate description for how women deny themselves their own beauty. I remember feeling surprised to read of a super model sharing in a magazine the parts of her body she dislikes, even though the industry scrutinizes how she looks, being a supermodel in this industry one would think should be enough to validate one’s beauty. Yet this model still found another ideal to measure herself against. When a woman lives her life trying to live up to the ideal of what it is to be beautiful without connecting to her inner beauty she suppresses her real power. This is why I especially love Kathryn Fortuna’s last beauty tip about looking into one’s own eyes with love and acceptance.
Yes, in every women’s magazine, front cover, and everything else written and printed that follows not to be any less honouring of women.
I so agree Samantha, why is it that we don’t see any of this in magazines. How amazing would it be to have a magazine to have this on the front page!! Beauty being more than ‘looking good’.
Why is the onus put so much on the outer appearance I wonder. Could it be that we have forgotten who we are and we are afraid to connect to it because we will feel what we have been missing all along, and that would hurt. It doesn’t make sense to me that something so stupendous such as the love and beauty that we are, can be kept buried for so long. But that is what we, as an entire human race, have chosen to do, hence the pain of the world. But there is light at the end of the tunnel for all of us and Women in Livingness and other sites associated with Universal Medicine are paving the way for us, and you never know, the more of us who begin to connect to our true beauty, maybe this will be reflected in the media because more people will be asking the question “how DOES she look so good for her age, whatever she is doing I want some of that…” ~ little to they realise that they have this too, just got to tap into it and let it out!
Very true Sam – this article goes against the norm of how women talk about themselves and see themselves pitted against ideals of what a woman should and shouldn’t be.
How refreshing to celebrate woman and to fully accept every aspect of who we are and what we bring.
Yes Samantha – it is time that we as women see that we are good enough just as who we are and let go of all the ‘role models’ telling us who we need to be.
I so agree Samantha, holding beauty to be more than what is currently being presented in magazines. Celebrating our beauty being more than just putting different sized models on the cover, but looking more deeply at how we build true relationships with ourselves, deeply appreciate and honour who we are. These should be the headlines on our magazines.
I agree Samantha “It time to stop hiding our beauty and celebrating it instead” – and between those both: realizing it.
‘Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful.’ There is no reason to apologise for how and who we are, beauty has no shape nor form it is a quality of deep love and contendetness with oneself expressed through any shape or form.
Esther that is very true, a smile from love is a deeply beautiful experience to receive.
So true estherandras, it is only just now that I have stopped apologising for myself that I have realised just how much I have apologied for myself in the past. I have now become much more aware of how much others apologise for themselves, it seems such a habit, but habits can be broken and once it is realised that to apologise for yourself is a dishonouring of the awesomeness that we are we can put a stop to it forever !
We are basically trained from little onwards to not feel good about ourselves as everything is always about how well we do things and what we achieve. It is always about getting somewhere instead of being cherished and loved for the fullness and beauty that we are and that comes with everything that we do. So yes, we need to re-train ourselves to not apologise and to accept and appreciate all that is there already, the awesomeness, as you say Sandra, that we are.
Wow! Esther, truth expressed with true passion. “beauty has no shape nor form it is a quality of deep love and contentedness with oneself expressed through any shape or form.”
Yes I agree Mary, when truth is expressed in this way you can feel the depth of it “beauty has no shape nor form it is a quality of deep love and contentedness with oneself expressed through any shape or form.”It is as Kathryn says in her blog, “Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.”
This is so true Esther ” beauty has no shape nor form it is a quality of deep love”. This is a most beautiful message and one that all women need to know and understand; one that will change the idea of what true beauty is if taught to all girls, and boys, from a very early age.
Beauty seems to be at the whim of fashion anyway, and who dictates fashion, WE DO! My feeling is that for aeons humanity has lost it’s connection to that deep love and contentment ~ ironic really, considering it has not gone anywhere, we have chosen to disconnect from it and focus on the outside appearance which can never be perfect.
An Inner Image consultant sounds intriguing but feels beautiful. It just does not play ball with projecting something the inside does not emanate. It looks at you and connects to your inner beauty and reads what do you do with it. It connects to you in deep stillness, helping to share yourself with the world in celebration of how you truly are.
Connecting to our femaleness allows the beauty to shine out from within, then we all become our own inner image consultant!
What a great point Sandra, that when we connect to our own inner beauty, we become our own inner image consultant! I’m up for that!!
Yes Sandra and this here is the true intention of this amazing work. To support each and every person to feel the power they have within to be their own Inner Image Consultant. Because in truth there is no one more suited than ourselves 🙂
Eduardo, this morning I will venture forth with these words in my head… “It connects to you in deep stillness, helping to share yourself with the world in celebration of how you truly are”… seeing as we all come from the same source and we are connected by a web or ocean of energy, it is therefore impossible to keep myself to myself, so I will reflect the beauty I feel inside to others, as trying to hide it is just selfish and irresponsible, it’s time to let the inner me out 🙂
Smiling as I was re-reading this great blog again today – Your 9 reasons Kathryn for women to smile should be attached to every single bottle of lotion/potion that is bought to be applied to our bodies. It could be if chosen that ‘stop moment’ to feel the true reasons behind the purchase.
Yes Marion we could ALL often do with that STOP moment before the purchase.
Does this purchase honour me or not? Claiming this first would make the purchase so much more meaning-full.
“Does this purchase honour me or not?”
I’m going to ask myself this question for EVERY purchase I ever make (including makeup, lotions, etc), as well as put the 9 reasons up on my fridge … thank you Kathryn 🙂
‘When I see your face, I see and feel your eyes. Your windows, your truth and often your hiding. I also feel your sadness, joy and hurt and so much more…’ I love how you speak about ‘windows’ My eyes as windows, clear and clean, open and welcoming the light coming out and coming in.
“Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful.” This sentence says so much, and holds us all equally beautiful, thank you Kathryn.
Thank you Kathryn for connecting to the beauty we all are just as we are, to be in the hands of another who see’s you truly allows that beauty to shine ever brighter.
This is such a significant point about how women compare, compete and comply “It’s an unspoken war on women, and we are the enemy”. It is rarely spoken about but often felt.
Apologising for how we look is not only absurd, it is a highly manipulative game we play with ourselves that keeps us small and insignificant.” Accepting ourselves, and the natural beauty we hold inside, allows our true beauty to shine.
Yes Sally so very true. Self Acceptance on every level is so important. Then the natural beauty can simply shine out.
Kathryn I loved reading your blog, our face reflects each and every choice we make, and by accepting those choices we have made, and by allowing ourselves to make other choices, we are able to lift the shutters from our eyes, and reveal the beauty we hold within.
Thank you Kathryn for a great blog, it leaves me with a big smile, for the beauty we all have living inside of us, just waiting to be connected to, to shine out through our eyes and face .
I love your blog Kathryn, It is so true that there is a deep beauty in each of us, in our eyes and our face, I have come to enjoy looking at myself, and find this amazing. I am starting to have a deep appreciation of myself, the beauty is in the eyes and the way I can express myself with my face and body.
This article should be included on the syllabus for all beauty/ hairdressing training courses through out the world.
What you state hear is fundamental when it comes to women’s beauty.
I so agree Raegan, we can be deeply affected by the belief we need to always be ‘nice’ and so become apologetic to keep the status quo. Time now to claim ourselves in all our strength, beauty, wisdom, tenderness and divinity. Bring on the new status quo!
Making the choice to not apologise is a big one, we as women are constantly saying sorry for all the wrong reasons, to be liked, not to rock the boat, the appease someone, it is time to let go of the ‘sorry’ mentality and stand strong, empowered and loving.
Yes to rocking the boat, yes to letting go of the ‘sorry’ mentality and a huge yes to smiling from our inner most because we see and feel our own beauty.
True, Raegan the ‘sorry’ mentality is rife. Standing strong, empowered and loving can definitely rock the boat, but everyone looses if we choose to stay small and apologetic. The other isn’t challenged to feel the truth and their own amazingness and we hurt ourselves by not being all of who we are.
So true Rachel. I have invested heavily in not rocking the boat in the past and it definitely serves no one! When I speak out it can feel uncomfortable at first but it is amazing what can come from it – relationships grow and deepen. I now say no to the sorry card … who or what does it serve?
Your right Raegan, standing strong, empowered and loving is the only way to overcome the ‘sorry’ mentality. I came to realise in the end, that the biggest sorry, and the reason I kept continually apologising for myself, was that I was actually sorry for even existing .
A very powerful choice to not apologise ourselves. Absolutely Reagan, it is time to let go of the ‘sorry’ mentality and stand strong, empowered and loving.
I have a picture of Leonardo da Vinci in my bedroom of of a huge angel. When i go to bed and wake up i look at the angel and see me.
All my life i resisted to really use make up, with the excuse i don’t really know how to apply make-up. But their was more underneath is rejecting the beautiful women that i am and sharing my beauty with the world. Last year i did some make up workshops and started to use make up more and more. The moment i apply make up i feel my beauty from within starts shining as if with help of the make up i give my inner beauty the permission to express more. Amazing…
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.“ This message is so important to hear for all women. As in our society beauty is defined by the physical body not what you emanate from within. But true beauty is what we shine from within.
I loved rereading your beautiful expression Kathryn. Today I am going to prepare myself for the day in true celebration of the beauty I am 🙂
Gorgeous to reread this Kathryn and I loved your 9 reasons for women to smile,especially number 8 – .’Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle’. Deep words of wisdom….
I feel so loved when reading your article and how you meet every little part in the face with your presence, Kathryn.
I had to re-read this blog. There is not an ounce of wiggle room – we are beautiful and we know we deserve to be treated as beautiful beings no matter what we look like. We are so apologetic for that inner beauty that cannot be hidden no matter what we do. This is what we need to stop apologising for.
“Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” Beautiful starting the day with reading your inspiring blog, Kathryn. I connect with my eyes several times a day and it brings me back to focus and connect, each time i do i welcome my beautiful being with in- “the Angel within” and therefore deepen my commitment to life.
This is such a lovely blog and I can feel your love for all women in not accepting their apologies and asking them to appreciate their true beauty from inside first.
I LOVE this blog – it is so common for women to apologise for their appearance. I find it really uncomfortable when I am not feeling like I look ‘crash hot’, and so when I see people I feel like to break the tension/awkwardness I need to excuse myself in some way.
Brilliant blog Kathryn. I love the super powerful 9 reasons to smile and claim our divine beauty within and this one stood out for me – ‘Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.’. As whether we have children or not we are always reflecting a quality to them all. It is so important that our children get to feel that there is another way, that who they already are within is so precious, beautiful and enough. It is so inspiring when you see a woman walking in love with who she truly is as for me it reflects that I too have this same joyful beauty within to celebrate.
Kathryn, this is gorgeous! I love what you share particularly about feeling your own beauty before you apply makeup. The other day I had had a day in the garden and training the dogs so I was wearing trackydacks and had not put on any makeup, and instead that morning I just had simply brushed my hair and applied by facial cream and smiled at myself in the mirror. Then I had to duck out to the supermarket to pick up a few items. As it happened I ran into someone I knew and they commented that I looked unwell (though I was feeling pretty fine!) – I realised that they had not seen me without makeup before, but rather than say so, I apologised by saying I may have been a little tired. I was uncomfortable about just being me. And I also felt uncomfortable that this person was not in appreciation of how beautiful I felt, even though I was not dressed nor made-up. It made me ponder on how it is that we as women sometimes do things such as put make up on, so as to keep up an image. Hence why I so enjoyed reading your blog and the simplicity of using makeup as a celebration of the beauty that is there.
I love the title of your sharing “Apology not accepted.” It is really time not to make any excuses any more and to step up as a man or woman and to claim ourselves. That feels awesome – to reflect each others light.
Simply beautiful Karthryn, your blog got me in touch with the love I have for women and all their beauty. Reading it made me want to shine with all my beauty so all may do the same.
Shine ON beautiful KIMweston2 so that the world may do the same 🙂
The lack of self worth is so deeply ingrained in so many women and men. And it is really time to stop and to address this vicious circle of self doubt and to honour us, what we are really are – very precious and pure love.
Alexander1207 I agree. We are so precious why is it we insist on doubting ourselves?
It is really a global epidemic Kathryn. And I agree Alexander it is men and women who suffer from lack of self worth. Everyone, in different degrees. Probably there are what I call dark forces at play. But would loving and adoring ourselves be a total transformation on the earth at all levels? It would actually be a completely different world.
What a beautiful portrayal of true beauty.
This blog I will show to my daughters but I recognise what you said Kathryn when you wrote Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle. I love me on the inside but have struggled with the outside. It’s time to fully love all of me. I also love how you suggested taking some time each day to look into our own eyes. I have started doing this.
What a beautiful message you give in this blog, and so needed. No apologies for how you look, appreciate yourself, love the way you reflect in the mirror, and we do have a responsibility towards other women and our children and future generations. To break the cycle of insistent habit of underestimate and undervalue oneself. Great list of tips you give.
Yes Juliamandos and how amazing does this responsibility feel? Its an opportunity to deeply cherish and adore ourselves and in doing so we also provide an inspirational platform for the future generations to choose to appreciate themselves also.
When I have the temptation to undervalue myself and choose to feel low and not appreciative, to have this purpose really helps me to stand up and not get myself in the way of really adoring myself. Because it is not just for me, it is for everybody else. It gives a whole new dimension to self love.
Yes a great message Kathryn – ‘ I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul.
I have the same feeling – it is so important to break this vicious circle of blaming ourselves for being not good enough. It is time to confirm and appreciate our inner beauty, the love we are.
I love this blog Kathryn – beauty consultant who sees straight into the soul of her clients.
Tonight it is point 8 that stands out – the breaking of a cycle. I had some photos taken recently and I looked so tired and bloated in them…just like my mum. Oh boy! There was a pattern exposed. My mother was a beautiful woman who struggled with her looks. She did not, and perhaps I ought to say would not, love herself as she was. consequently her health suffered. So as I looked at these photos, and the thoughts of how “bad” I looked arose, I stopped myself, and remembered that beautiful woman who denied herself the joy of her own beauty and power.
The cycle stops right here and right now. That is the choice that I make.
Rachel thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Once we start to get honest with our patterns we can begin to make changes and only then can the cycle stop. Feeling beautiful is a deeply loving choice.
What you are talking about here Kathryn is taking self-acceptance to a whole new level.
Being self-loving like you really mean it.
Seeing the beauty in yourself and others without competition.
Kathryn, you have a way that is irresistible, everyone wants to follow.
Thank you Bernie. I am simply sharing the beautiful truth. We deserve to love ourselves in every single way. 🙂
I have resisted reading this blog for over 2 years. I have seen it many times, and moved on to read another. Today I felt to read it. My tears started to roll almost as soon as I did, and when I came to the bit where Kathryn writes, ‘ your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough’, I began to understand why I had not wanted to read it, and why it is important that I now have. It seems to me that before we can stop apologising for our appearance, we first have to accept just how feel about that part of us, and what this says about how we feel about our selves generally. If we are willing to feel the depths of the self loathing we have allowed ( if indeed we have), from there we can begin to say no to it, and let it go. There are many slogans and articles that simply advocate claiming and proclaiming our beauty (and this blog differs from those), but if that beauty is not truly felt from within, proclaiming it will in fact just build on the loathing that is felt. There will be a voice inside that can, when it chooses, ‘ whisper ‘no you are not, no you are not’. We must first say no to that which is not beauty, to the part of us which is full of self judgement and loathing, so that when we claim our beauty, we do so from a deep knowing of it.
Yes Natasha that is s great point how the barriers of comparison come down between women when we are honouring of ourselves and accept our true beauty – as we have no need to look outside of ourselves and use some external marker or belief to judge and evaluate our beauty and indeed worth on.
Kathryn I love your absolute delight in all that our face can share. When I look into someone’s eyes it always feels like they are speaking to me, in a language that knows no boundaries.
Beatiful expressed Vicky “When I look into someone’s eyes it always feels like they are speaking to me, in a language that knows no boundaries.’ The endless depth of the eyes.
A beautiful offering to all women across the world – thank you. To add, that when we honour and accept ourselves it lets others around us in – for it is often the case that those around us see and feel our beauty more than we are ourselves willing to accept. Very often because of our own self-judgement we don’t accept the grace and confirmation when others see and feel us for who we truly are – as a result we keep others just at arms length because we are hurting and in protection. From this understanding, when we love and honour ourselves we are providing a very supportive foundation for the relationships in our lives to be confirmed and deepen.
Sarah I love what you have shared here. It is so true that when we accept ourselves it allows all the women around us to bring down the barriers of comparison and thoughts of playing less.
Wow Sarah, how true this is. To keep oneself in protection and arrogance in not allowing the appreciation in but being attached to one’ s own negative selftalk and judgement.
I love your comment Sarah. Our own self-judgement is so damaging, as it does stop us from appreciating the grace and beauty that we are, and by choosing this we do keep people away. How different out relatioships would be if we fully embraced who we truly are, and as you say we would then provide “a very supportive foundation for the relationships in our lives to be confirmed and deepened.”
I have been looking into my own eyes in the mirror every morning lately and it is an awesome practise to add to my morning routine. It allows me a moment to stop and to truly appreciate how absolutely amazing I am. A great way to honour who we are by seeing our true reflection shining back at us. Thank you Kathryn.
“When I look, I feel for your essence in there.” Imagine if we all did this – absolutely Divine!
Wow! That’s one of the best kicks up the butt I’ve ever felt – so full of love – I will gladly line up for seconds! Thank you Kathryn.
Tamara I love your humor, I’ll be standing right next to you for another.
How strange that we feel the need to apologise for who we are. There is no perfection and one sees only what one is, from the confidence of being which they live by.
True – it makes little sense to apologise for being amazing, loving and expressing truth simply because others may be living less than who they are.
My confidence is built from how I live – when I don’t create the space to have a loving relationship with myself throughout the day. I don’t feel confident or beautiful at all… but the key is this lack of worth is a self-created cycle. I know this because I can easily connect to a beauty within every woman and man that I know, it is in us all.
These days I take more time to look into my own eyes. I used to wash my hands in such a rush, I barely noticed my reflection in the bathroom mirrors in front of me. If I did notice them, I used it solely as an opportunity to criticise myself for how tired, run down or messy I looked. Now I enjoy what I see – not matter what the physical reflection – because it is me and there is so much in my eyes to love and appreciate.
yes i too really enjoy looking in the mirror nowadays for a few reasons. i no longer self criticise naturally, I am so delighted with my ever increasing beauty and gentle expressions. i know as the years go by, looking in the mirror will only get more satisfying too
Great point Felicity! Isn’t it lovely to feel that because of the choices we are making, the physical signs of ageing are not what we are going to focus on and may barely notice in the face of the clarity and truth in our eyes and the power and strength of love in what is in front of us.
Felicity and Simone I notice that the more I look in my eyes I appreciate the woman looking out at me and the more I appreciate the woman I am the more I look into my eyes with immense appreciation. It’s a cycle of LOVE and its AGEless. 🙂
Coming back to this blog today I was appreciating how beautiful it is when we smile from our hearts, when we show our true selves there is a beauty that shines so brightly no matter whether they have classically good looks or not.
Kathryn, reading this today I felt myself unravel from the tightly bound way I had lived part of my day today. I was able to feel the innermost of my beauty from reading your words, so I can only imagine what it must be like to work with you. Divine preciousness, is what I can feel. What you, and Esoteric Women’s Health, offer women is nothing short of life-changing and so this blog should be shared everywhere.
Reading your blog again today Kathryn, what stood out was – “Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” I have really come to appreciate this and see it now all around me in every day life. And it is so gorgeous when people truly have a heart-felt smile that comes really from deep within – everyone just shines brightly then.
I couldn’t agree more – each of us is beautiful to the core and this is to be deeply appreciated. Why then do we not all accept our inherent beauty and express our natural grace?
I enjoyed reading your comment above Karina in response to Kathryn’s gorgeous blog – and your words in relation to emanating with “a heart-felt smile” made me recall how I felt recently when mixing with a group of people that I had not met before, and felt the true me emanating from within, enjoying the opportunity to share my love and joy in the moment while celebrating in the gorgeous surrounds, in a park by a tranquil body of water, magnificent trees, and kookaburras laughing. I knew that nobody cared that I had patches of large brown age spots on my face and my body – these indications perhaps of mis-spent choices of the past did not stop my feeling of being totally embraced by the field of love I felt all around me – and that I could sense was an awesome opportunity to reflect in those moments.
Very true Karina – no matter how somebody looks physically, I start to see the beauty in every person and this is just wonderful.
Why is it that women generally spend a lot of time apologising and it’s usually for the way we look. So many women put so much pressure on themselves about having to look perfect whatever that looks likes. It is lovely to meet more who are accepting of themselves and appreciate their inner natural beauty.
Yes Margaret all this apologising around the world happening day after day for the way we look? It seems crazy and yet its happening all the time.
However now, thanks to Esoteric Women’s Health and Universal Medicine, we are meeting more and more women that accept and appreciate their own beauty. This is deeply healing for all.
I agree and this is not gender-specific, men also put too much pressure on themselves. Your last sentence stands out for me “It is lovely to meet more who are accepting of themselves and appreciate their inner natural beauty.”
It certainly isn’t gender specific generally speaking men seem to be as lost as women and don’t know what is expected of them by women anymore as women get harder men feel they need to be harder than women so take steroids and with the trends to look young a lot of me are also using botox and losing their naturally gently tender selves.
Seeing somebody age who is content with their looks is the most beautiful sight to behold – it makes you understand that wrinkles are nothing but a sign of age and can even enhance your mimic and you, if they came to a body that was held in love and appreciation.
Well said Michael, in growing older I can truly say I have never though that any woman has got any less beautiful for some there are women that I watch really come into their own beauty even at the old age they are
Michael this is so beautiful. When beauty shines from the inside out wrinkles become just signs of age as you say and are beautiful in themselves.
Well said about the wrinkles . They are loving strokes of beauty lived from within shown to all on the outside.
I have observed too Michael, that when a woman has connected to their own sense of who they are, then the beauty shines out no matter what age. They bring back the reflection of the stillness, sacredness and wisdom that has almost been lost in today’s world – but when a woman has reconnected back to this and lives in this way, then it is uplifting and inspiring to be in their presence.
There wouldn’t be too many women that have escaped the feeling of being lesser without our face on, in my case it’s always been eyebrows and mascara and now in my latter years it’s a bit of lipstick to brighten up the face. But now it’s with a different appreciation of the beauty I am that shines naturally in my eyes, make up has become a choice not a necessity.
Awesome Merrilee ‘make up has become a choice not a necessity.’ This is GOLD 🙂
Absolutely makeup is a choice not a necessity. It is beautiful that we have a choice to wear makeup if we choose, and not because we have to look a particular way, not to cover or hide behind it. It’s great that more and more women like to share there true beauty.
An amazing blog Kathryn, it’s hard to know where to start the praise, I love all of it.
Me to Nick, this is a fantastic article. Imagine how many beauty traineeships teach about making the client beautiful on the outside when this article has nailed it and got to the truth of the matter – we are all equally beautiful and as women it is time for us to claim it.
So true Samantha – we are all the same on the inside – beautiful, joyful, delicate, tender and fragile.
Kathryn, I am aware of the pressure coming from inside me as well as externally to look young. I am really starting to appreciate the beauty in my greying hair, my unmade up face and I can feel the depth in my eyes when I look in the mirror. Now that I am starting to feel and appreciate ME I am less affected by what is outside and the feelings from my innermost are more loving and totally accepting of ME!
Well said Anne. Ageing or Maturing brings a Beauty that is so honestly exquisite. This beautiful blog has helped me to celebrate that and my own uniqueness. Thank you Kathryn.
Studying with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and now working as a Practitioner of Universal Medicine therapies, I love when a client finishes a session with one of the body work modalities and what you see as the client opens their eyes is the delicate face of beauty, clarity, knowing. It comes from deep within as the client has reconnected with their innermost and shed the mask of hardness, intensity, judgement, and returned to the light of who they are.
I am revisiting your blog Kathryn and the idea that stands out for me this time is that it is time to break the cycle and it is. It is time to pass on the true acceptance of how I look and see the beauty in my own face not all the faults and things I would like to be different. Why do I want them to be different? Where did that narrow idea of what is beautiful come from. It did not come from deep inside me, so that is where I will be going to decide what is truly beautiful from now on. I will deeply feel this and this is what the women and girls around me will feel, not insecurity and wishing to be young, but a woman, joyful, secure and loving being with them.
I’m struck by the fact that people assume a make-up artist is employed to take away inperfections and scrutinise their face. But actually such close observation is done with such love it blows away any apprehension that to be truly seen is going to highlight ills when actually that’s when we see the true beauty within. I am reminded that pretending not to be aware about things is only kidding myself as I’ll not see the beauty past any superficial blemishes.
‘I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.’ That feels so true and has been also an observation of mine that a true smile makes everyone look beautiful.
Kathryn, Point 3.Know that you chose your looks for a reason. Is a very interesting point, one that I need to ponder on to fully understand the depth of your statement. Point 2 is a great reminder for me to put my makeup on to celebrate my beautiful face, in fact I need to stop saying ‘put’ my makeup on and start saying ‘apply’ my makeup, the word apply feels more tender and loving than ‘put’.
Absolutely lindellparlour, the word apply feels so much more delicate. When I translate both words in my own language I can also feel the difference. And this also changes the way I feel about applying my make-up, this can be a more delicate process to honor my natural beauty
Smiling as I return again to this beautifully shared blog. It reminded me today of exactly how many people I meet, friends, family etc who often apologise for the state of their hair, clothes and yes the bags under their eyes and, not very many actually celebrate the beauty or the amazingness of themselves. I was also like that once and your blog is a wonderful reminder and serves us all into claiming our inner beauty. With or without make-up.
Thank you Kathryn this is beautiful and an inspiration to read and appreciate myself and all women for our profound beauty from within and to honour this truly. Your professional observations stands for a lot of what is really going on and how we feel about ourselves and the hiding and lack of self worth underneath the makeup and false happiness.This is a very supportive blog that brings understanding and love and a deep honouring for ourselves.
Oh, wow, you are simply and profoundly an Angel Kathryn Fortuna ~ thank you for feeling deeply into the profession you have chosen, offering and sharing true healing for everybody.
Simply looking in my eyes connects to my inner beauty and my divinity instantly. I love that, when I look I see the depth of who I am and my body relaxes.
I never imagined i would love my make up bag as much as i do today.
I cherish my make up ritual and the opportunity this provides for me to be present and still. The quality of each brush and order of every detail is perfect for me.
Thank you, the title itself is a powerful statement. I am beginning to feel the gross-ness in constantly apologising, asking ‘if this or that is Okay’ or holding myself submissive. I am beginning to claim more and more that – this is me. I am a woman in this world, and these are my choices. And luckily supported by the inspiration of many who are claiming themselves more and more and now live the fact that they are awesome: “I am awesome (Equally to you)- deal with it”. I am beginning to claim this more. There is no more ducking and weaving.
How beautiful and inspiring the way you are claiming yourself Arianne, and how you are exposing the falsity. I just love your comment Arianne – really gorgeous and powerful. And absolutely, no more ducking or weaving. Anyone committing to living from a place of true love will shine bright, very very bright, and more and more, and those not choosing to live love for themselves will just have to “deal with it”….until they make that choice.
Yes Arianne, there is fast becoming nowhere to go but to claim this in full… unless we choose the slippery slope to a very hard, self-indulgent and unsatisfying life.
Oh dear, I am guilty of expressing to beauty therapists, hairdressers and sometimes to myself: ‘what can you do with this old face?’ Your blog Kathryn has reminded me that as I am now entering my 7th decade I am learning to look in the mirror and feel the full beauty within, instead of seeing ‘the old face’! I am learning to look at myself with more wisdom, to love and embrace the reflection in the mirror and free myself from the apologies I had been making for growing old! Yes, I am growing older, but I am doing it with Grace, Love, Respect, Appreciation, and a great sense of Nurturing the real ME I now see shining through my stunning eyes. A great note to end on: ‘Feeling our full beauty within ourselves instead of apologising is great reflection for all women to feel’.
Wow Ruth and aren’t we all blessed to have you fully embracing your beauty and ageing with such grace and appreciation.
You are pioneering the way forth for younger women who desperately need to know that …yes as we age we can still remain true to oursleves and that true beauty is in fact ageless. ✨
Now in my late 60’s, I often make comments about the joy of ageing when I am at the hairdresser’s, dentist’s and the gym, often with shocked looks on the younger women’s faces. It leads to some interesting observations about being nice, fitting in and following fashion trends (or not)
The magic of God never fails to inspire. I was having a moment of lacking my awesomeness, my amazingness and this perfect blog found it’s way to me. Thank you Kathryn for allowing and providing this awesome constellation. I have used the way I look after myself as a way to play myself down. I am a gorgeous woman and attracted too much attention when I did get dressed up – sexual attention from men and jealousy from women. So it felt ‘safer’ to just keep myself plain, overweight and unkept – an easy place to hide. I am now enjoying the process of letting my inner beauty out again because I have learnt that there is no safety in hiding. The safety comes from living with your full glory and confidence, when it actually isn’t a safety at all when we realise there is nothing we need to protect ourselves from when love is our way. We can get this by deeply accepting everything about ourselves – every fault and imperfection – because this is perfect too.
Kathryn, I find your following sentence absolutely amazing, revealing and powerful ” Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” It is time indeed for us as women to realise, expose, talk more about, support ourself and each other to cut this pattern of apologising from a place of feeling not good enough. I totally love your blog – thank you.
Thank you Alexandra. Yes we apologise so much don’t we?
It is time to get honest about why we do it, when we do it and what’s behind it.
Apologising for not being good enough or for the choices we are making? Let’s all dig deeper and support each other to rise from the issues that hold us back from feeling our true essence.
Absolutely Alexandra, it is time we open up conversation amongst women and begin talking about the way we’ve allowed things to be and it’s impact on us every single day. I love this top blog, it’s an absolute cracker.
Your article Kathryn describes a level of depth at which we can meet/see anyone we encounter or are with that is absolutely gorgeous, or rather should actually be the norm .
When we apologise or justify how we look or do not look, it is so disempowering and dismissive of our natural gorgeousness inside. I have come to know that we all equally have it, and that we express it just as gorgeously as another, but in our own beautiful way.
Kathryn thank you, you’ve given us 9 great reasons to smile, and may I say we would all do well to keep a copy close to revisit every day, then I feel sure before not too long we’d come up with another 9.…..and another.…..and……
Yes agree Barbara, revisiting this blog and those 9 reasons daily would go a long way to turning the tide on our self-critique and lack of appreciation.
I so enjoy coming back to your blog Kathryn it is jammed pack full of behaviours that we use to mask our true beauty. I had not realised how much we apologise for the way we look but it is true if we don’t like something about ourselves we start to make excuses apologise and high light our weaknesses.rather than accepting with grace the beauty we carry that is so much deeper than our looks. “Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like” I love this line, it is so true a smile says it all.
Kathryn I have loved revisiting this blog and enjoyed it just as much as the first time. It brings tears to my eyes to think what we have accepted as women, myself very much included, and our consequent inability to celebrate the exquisite beauty and preciousness that we are. To invest heavily in the outer beauty, to compensate for a supposed lack of ‘beauty’ by being clever, accomplished or successful, or to hide ourselves in being drab, unkept, uncared for, dishonoring ourselves in behaviour, discounting ourselves at every turn, being hard on ourselves for not being ‘perfect’ (according to what and who?!)…and the list goes on, are all the same thing when viewed from the fact that in our essence, we are all the same, and all equally beautiful when that is what is expressed in whatever it is we choose to do, and whatever the outer package we have.
I too never tire of this blog. To feel within myself, times when I forget to appreciate what lives within me and compensate in other ways is not at all nice to feel in my body, it takes me to hardness and away from the delicate tenderness that I am. In that I know there is much more within.
Yes Jenny, it’s easy to forget to appreciate when we’ve become so accustomed to self-deprecation. Re-learning to know who we are and to appreciate that always is definitely a development for most of us. When I think of all the negative thoughts l’ll have in a day, the sneaky little ones in between doing this or that… the subtle but consistent undermining of this is actually huge in it’s impact. When the possibility is to fill all these gaps with something confirming and appreciative of what’s true…
Beautifully said Jenny. This part of investments and being hard to myself I know very well. In the past I was my own enemy. I’m very grateful, that with the help of UM practitioners I’m loving myself more and more, it is now an amazing journey back to my essence – love.
Yes Alexander, l’m very appreciative too of the incredible support offered through Universal Medicine and the amazing UM practitioners I see. I don’t even want to imagine what my life would have been like without them.
Thank you for this amazing article, Kathryn. You have touched me deep within. ‘Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.’ and ‘Know that you chose your looks for a reason.’
It is actually amazing how much we as women apologise. I know I used to all the time, even when it wasn’t a situation i needed to. It was me coming from a place where i wasn’t seeing myself as an equal, relating to a lack of self worth. I became a lot more aware of this, along with building more of a connection and relationship with myself, in doing this, I found i wasn’t needing to apologise as much. This felt a lot more empowering and loving.
A beautiful appreciation of true beauty and how each woman can find, celebrate and live hers.
Thank you Kathryn Fortuna.
It is a great reflection on how easy we have allowed our selves to apologise for how we look, rather than look at and feel what’s going on inside our body. Our body talks to us all the time, we know the answers already. So your right to say we just need to accept ourselves for who we are and how we feel without putting ourselves down. Question ourselves why are we apologising for being us?
As many men have said there’s so much here that relates to men. We all put on a mask – but if we allow others in and don’t hold back or apologise we will see the inner beauty that is in everyone around us and also allow them to see the inner beauty that is in us.
Absolutely Kathryn, ‘We compare, compete and comply. With our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends. ‘ If we as woman truly look at this and feel the horredousness of it, we can take another choice,
I first felt sad upon reading many women apologise for how they are looking; but then I felt delight when you wrote ‘Apology Not Accepted’! It shows me how unhappy many women are with themselves, their looks being jsut one part of themselves.
Kathryn I loved reading your article it made so much sense, it also touched me deeply how we as women can be so judgmental on just a glance of another’s face, yet we have the opportunity to connect with each other on a far deeper level, from what is being shown or enhanced from the inside out.
This – quite simply – Rocks!
And should be shared with every woman on the planet – and also every man on the planet because deep down we also now that what we find really beautful is what you are talking about. Not the empty Image we are told (bombarded with) is what we are supposed to find attractive.
And you – Simon Asquith – totally rock! it’s awesome to read a man’s perspective in these comments – really appreciate it!
Simon you ROCK and this is so true. We are all fed the lies and both Men & Women are so deeply beautiful when we are connected to our true essence.
Is it time for the Men to stand up and claim their true inner beauty too? WOw that’s something I want to read. 😉
” … EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves … ”
totally relate to this line and I love making a point to connect with the real part of every person (as much as they will ‘agree’ to), and they cannot help but smile :))
Thank you Kathryn. Sitting here today I can feel how rudely imposed on we have been our whole lives by the outside world of what beauty is. We are deceived to think it is a picture, or an image, as opposed to a quality or a feeling. We are told ‘true beauty is on the inside’, but how many people really truly feel this way? What you bring as an Inner Image consultant is so powerful, and so very needed – for everyone! Please – keep writing!
Thank you Amelia. This is so true. We are told beauty comes from within but we are shown that it is an image or picture rather than a feeling. What a scam and how confusing.
Let’s all get writing and turn this lie on its head 🙂
Kathryn, it is so true that our eyes tell a thousand words.
‘9 reasons for women to smile’ are also 9 very good reasons for me as a man to smile. As a man, my self-worth issues may play out a bit different but, in essence, there is actually no difference, so some of the 9 tips might be wonderful for me as well.
And you are giving me another reason to smile, Alex, as I feel the tenderness you hold yourself in as a man.
Great comment Alex, in essence there actually is no difference, we all have self worth issues, and we are all beautiful, man or woman. Keep smiling Alex.
I love to re-read this blog Kathryn. It confirms to me who I am and where I am from. I notice I have stopped apologising about myself recently. I can start the story in my head, and then STOP, no I’m not thinking or saying that. It is true, when we do that, we are saying we are not enough. And this is false. So the next step is to not think it at all, even for a second.
Yes Gillrandall there is often a process that occurs.
First the willingness to get super honest. Than the awareness that we are in fact apologising… and why?
Then the moment when we catch ourselves and make a change in the self talk…
Pretty soon we won’t do it at all 🙂
Changing the cycle is something I have so far managed to do with my daughter who is 6, when she started writing down in her daily book how she feels the first thing she wrote was “i feel precious” and then “i feel wonderful” as well as sad or cross, then at xmas times she walked past me saying “i am so pretty” with nothing more than it was a matter of fact. I was amazed by all of these statements from her and I am learning from her how to be very much ok in my body and love the outer unashamedly. It is very freeing to allow this acceptance of your own inner and outer beauty.
Vanessa what you’ve shared here is huge. It is uncomfortable when someone around us is unashamedly accepting and loving of themselves in this way. It is usually referred to as being ‘up yourself’ or other similarly derogatory terms, and is always designed to pull that person ‘back down’… but to what is the question. Well, to exactly what Kathryn has shared and highlighted. It is easy to stay hidden or unclaimed in our own gorgeousness when nobody around us does either… an unspoken deal. To allow our children to grow up to NOT let go of their own amazingness is quite something and you are spot on, starts first with you. It is also very beautiful that you can allow her to be teaching and inspiring you as well, and makes perfect sense that she can when she has not yet given herself away to the pressures of those around us to ‘play the game’ and succumb.
That is beautiful Vanessa and Jenny. My 5 year old daughter does this too and this is really a blessing for the whole family. She can come downstairs with sparkling eyes being all bubbly and say; look mum how beautiful I am today. Not needing to be confirmed, but surely claiming it. And she can say this also about every member of the family without any need for a certain response or anything. I always felt how she could see the beauty in everyone, because she can see the beauty in herself. Reading your comment Vanessa actually allows me to deeply appreciate this and see the opportunity we get to learn this from her.
To be able to say at 6 that you feel precious and be able to write it unashamedly and claimed is gorgeous and testament to the turn around from how many of us have been brought up in the past Vanessa, I know when I was 6 I would not have even heard the word precious said, and certainly not in its true meaning. For a child to be able to write how they feel without any holding back is a wonderful gift and something that can be cherished and nurtured and built upon, thank you for sharing Vanessa.
I loved reading this comment about your daughter and you Vanessa and how lovely that you are allowing yourself to learn from her. It reminded me also of being a little girl and how I learned very early on it was not okay to celebrate the gorgeous and beautiful me and how crushing that was – it was considered vanity, a big no-no at the time. So I now celebrate and feel the expansion of the way you are bringing up your daughter which re-inprints it for all of us, and I feel the joy of knowing of so many young girls who are supported in loving themselves and being unafraid to show it. This is such a natural way to be and this will build such a strong foundation before they encounter the school yard.
Well Kathryn, it is amazing (and crazy!) how much we as women apologies for ourselves, our appearance, our bodies and our looks… apologise for who we are. It makes no sense really, but yet it happens everywhere. I know for me that I have used my own body to hide or dull down my gorgeous natural glow for a long time, there wasn’t a logical explanation for it until I began to be aware of the jealousy that is directed when we do shine brightly and have confidence. The truth is though, that we all ache deeply when we apologise and divulge in low self-worth, not only do we hide it from ourselves but from everyone else who deserves the reflection so they too can one day choose to not hide their true beauty too.
I can relate to what you say Cheriseholt, about hiding and dulling down. I can feel all gorgeous and lovely but than when I feel the tension of what is coming towards me from others, I can start walking different, less me. Even though I am working on it, it can still creep in. But you are right, whenever I hold back I hurt myself and there is a reflection missed for another.
“Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” Wonderful advice for both women and men.
Spot on Peter, this essence of what Kathryn is highlighting applies equally for men, even though the way it plays out may be slightly different.
There are two points that stood out for me in thous most beautiful and inspiring of blogs today (I do keep returning to this one for a dose of its lovely medicine)
Point one: “Make no apology for how you look”. This is something I am struggling with right now. More often than ever before I can see my beauty, but all too often when I look at my face I see the residue of illness – there is a puffiness under my eyes and my chin. Sometimes that is all I can see. This is so strange. My face has not changed, but the way I see myself has. This is especially the case when I am feeling tired, have been affected by something or someone, or I am feeling down on myself. it shows me that my eyes are under an influence, and that my perceptions can be affected to an incredible degree.
This brings me to point 8: ” You have a responsibility to change the cycle.” Can you imagine if we taught our young women (and men) this fact? That what you sees is affected by how you are feeling? And that when you are honest about the feeling what you see changes? Body image disorders would be healed in a generation – but for that to change those of us who are older need to learn look at ourselves with more wisdom, to love and embrace what we see, free of the influences that have held us in a state of apology for so long. Thus our eyes become not just the window that allows others to see our soul, but the window through which it looks out to the world, all seeing and unjudging.
The definition of beauty we are sold in society from a very young age have got it so wrong. It’s nothing to do with our looks and this blog is so true when it says that as women we need to come together and talk about the fake and unattainable representation of what it means to be a beautiful women. And start discussing where our true beauty truly is, that everyone has it!
Thank you Danielle. It is time to come together and discuss where our true beauty comes from and that we ALL have it.
Continuing along the trail that we are led to believe…. That true beauty has anything to do with the outer layer must be exposed and understood for what it truly is…. A lie.
When we feel beautiful it’s comes from a stillness deep within and it expresses in every breath and movement that we make. The outer layer will benefit sure, but it’s not the cause. ✨
I love your passion to take this to humanity. Every person deserves to know that they’re truly beautiful and that we don’t need to look or it or prove it, it’s all there.
”Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” This made me nearly cry. It feels so rich to have someone say this, finaly stepping up and say NO. We can no longer accept appology. We can not accept denial of true beauty any further. We need to claim the truth of what beauty really means – all being uniquely devine. No need for make-up, certain close, jewerly or ideals & believes. Just raw beauty. We can not apologize for that.
Bam.. Show us your passion. Gorgeous and true. Well and direct said. Needed as such. No longer we need to emphasis the lies – just for us to claim what true beauty is, back.
‘We are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life.’ What a lie this is and one we all know is false and yet we cling to this belief.
Yes Sally such a lie and we all respond to this belief living our lives feeling that the answers to success are found in superficial factors.
It’s so deeply ingrained we pass it on to our children.
True success in life I would say would be…
An open loving heart and the joy of true connection with self and others.
The other thing that we pass on to our children, is how to not invest in the superficial looks but actually go the opposite way and hide, dull and give up on our bodies. So that we think we are not enjoining in the monstrosity of the lies but when we are actually bringing to it the same superficial face, just in another way. Here’s to living out true beauty not having to ‘fit in’ and not having to hide away.
Your blog is a great support for us all to become aware and accept that it is in no way normal nor should it be in any way normal to criticise ourselves as much as we do. It is unbelievable how much we diminish ourselves on a daily basis by all the judging thoughts we let in. Apology not accepted. Deep appreciation absolutely welcome.
I agree Esther we do diminish oursleves daily and often the world around us encourages this. Deep appreciation is that only way to truly decrease the criticism and build a strong foundation of love.
The power and pivotal importance of appreciation – real connected genuine appreciation – cannot be overstated. Isn’t it incredible how the diminishing of ourselves can even be encouraged in the world..playing ourselves down is so widely accepted – but not with you dear Kathryn – I really treasure and often remember this blog, and you Kathryn so lovingly not accepting our shrinking or apologising. Truly precious.
Agree Esther, Kathryn’s blog is so confirming and universally embracing of the deep, gorgeous, amazing beauty in every one of us. It makes my heart expand and my inner beauty dance just reading it. Yes, we must beware of any diminishing thoughts particularly any subtle ones that creep into our daily living, and whenever we look at ourselves in the mirror. Absolutely not accepted and appreciation builds the strength to do this.
Yes Josephine, when we allow those “diminishing thoughts” in they reduce us to feel so small and unimportant or insignificant, not allowing us to know how gorgeous we are, but appreciation is the antidote for these thoughts and when used consistently it cleans out the residue that is left in our body from the energy of the thoughts and replaces it with a self acceptance that only leaves room for more love.
Very beautiful Katherine and so true. Our beauty is in allowing our souls to shine out.
Yes Gwen, just like sunshine, bringing light, warmth, nourishment and life for all once again.
When i was younger I was always never happy with my face (and rest of my body), but particularly my face. I wouldn’t ever leave the house without makeup on, I didn’t like my freckles, I always always had mascara on, as I didn’t feel I could be seen if I didn’t. Coming of age and getting into my 20s and 30s, the critical view of myself did not change at all, I was still looking at the outside of myself, wishing and wanting it to be different. I have more recently began to feel myself deeply within who i am and what i bring. This has been process and with the help of Universal Medicine practitioners and attending presentations, I have learned what it means to ‘really’ connect with me and view who i am from the inside and bring that out into all that I do and with whom i interact. It is a much more loving way to live that’s for sure.
Thank you Raegan. The process of feeling ourselves more deeply and what we bring is lifelong. I too appreciate Universal Medicine Practitioners. They are leading the way through inspiration.
Just beautiful to read your sharing again, and appreciate what a gift it is. Thank you for your sharing on how when we smile our smile from the heart we are all beautiful. I couldn’t agree more, Look in the mirror and truly observe the inner beauty that shines through your eyes.
Beautiful, to feel the love in the headline “Apology not Accepted”, through reading your blog Kathryn. The love and awareness for the inner beauty of everyone person on this globe. How zany is the daily, monthly, yearly, life-long… effort of creating a pretty look compared to the allowing of the inner beauty to just get emanated – as your “9 reasons for women to smile”, supports to be. I love your blog(s) about the inner beauty of everyone to be a true r-evolution.
Thank you Stefanie. These blogs are written with much love and appreciation for all of us. Our Inner beauty is to be celebrated. 😊😊
Hi stefaniekoenig25, I too can feel the love in the headline as you say. When women apologise for how they are on the outside and even apologise for their emotional reactions from the inside, they are in effect saying, “I’m not acceptable the way I am, or for how I feel, so it’s ok, you can dismiss me”. Women will always have a natural, sacred beauty held within their body waiting for them to simply accept and reconnect to, and even when what’s being presented is mistaken for being who they are, we can deeply appreciate our own inner and outer beauty reminding them of their true loveliness.
Feeling our full beauty within ourselves instead of apologising is great reflection for all women to feel, who we meet in our daily lives. That’s true passion, thank you Kathryn.
6 months ago, I had some photos done and what I saw was a full reading of where I was at; and it was confronting! I saw how very beautiful I am and yet I haven’t lived in the knowing of this and so there was still a part of me trying to be seen and liked by the camera. I have recently moved and have taken the time to lovingly go back through my past, through old photos over my life and see the same thread running through – the tenderness, the gorgeous naiveite and true beauty and yet not honouring this beautiful little girl, young woman or adult woman. Your experience and wisdom is well received, beautiful Kathryn. I have been taking the time to linger at my reflection and gaze into my eyes, with full acceptance of my body, my face and myself, exactly as I am. And it feels amazing. Perhaps there is a blog in how it feels 😉
Hi Emma
Your comment has touched me deeply and is so beautiful, as you are. I can feel how you are claiming yourself in every way.
Yes please a blog about how that feels would be well received. 🙂
Absolutely there is a blog there, emmadanchin. “Your experience and wisdom is well received, beautiful” Emma, and your beauty is resonating out through my computer and allowing me to feel and appreciate my own beauty. Go for it! I can’t wait to read it
Thank you Emma for your deeply felt comment. A blog on how it feels would be great to read.
I love this line “I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted”. As women we spend a considerable amount of time apologizing for this, that and the other thing. What a relief it is to know that there are women out there who refuse to accept our apology but are more than willing to accept us claiming our own beauty and love in full.
I love coming back to this blog, and totally agree with Elizabeth, we all apologise far too much, sorry has become over-used- sorry to be in the way, sorry to make inadvertent contact, sorry to disturb, interrupt, want to be alone, don’t feel good etc. Kathryn’s blog is a beautiful inspiring read, and has made me use ‘sorry’ less, and not accept it from another- unless they’ve just smashed my favourite vase!
“to know that there are women out there who refuse to accept our apology but are more than willing to accept us claiming our own beauty and love in full” – beautifully put Elizabeth – what is offered here is such a gift for us all.
I love this Elizabeth, that there are women ‘who refuse to accept our apology but are more than willing to accept us claiming our own beauty and love in full.’ How great that there are women who do not agree when we say we are not enough, instead they help us claim our beauty.
This is a beautiful blog, thank you Kathyrn, I particularly love the words… “apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologize, you are saying you are not good enough” … You’ve hit the nail on the head here. This is great to be aware of.
Kathryn I know how deeply this apology runs through women worldwide – you are right it is a silent and deadly self imposed war on women. It is not acceptable nor normal that women today are apologising for themselves, for the way they look. Truly we have an epidemic of self loathing and lack of self worth on our hands, if as Serge Benhayon presents we were to correlate our behavioural patterns with our wellbeing then we can begin to address this deeply entrenched apology.
There was a time when self acceptance and self appreciation where not in my vocabulary, not present in my day, indeed my body. Indeed Gill how different life can feel when we bring these gems into our day.
I know the feeling lucindag there was a time in my life when self acceptance and self appreciation where not in my vocabulary too. Actually back then I didn’t have much of an idea what a feeling felt like either.
Totally Lucinda, never ceases to de-light me when I see the knock on effect in others around me.
Today I am deeply touched by the following line you wrote Kathryn. “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.”
Classically Beautiful – I love these two words in this blog. As I breathe them in deeply I feel all of the Grace and Stillness I am and share with all other Amazing women. Thank you Kathryn for being the bearer of one of today’s healing moment – In Love 🙂
Letting the mirror smile at me everyday…..
Reading this again has made my day Kathryn. Reminding me to see and feel my angel reflecting the beauty I am. No more apologies, it’s so simple, to love and accept myself every day.
What an absolutely brilliant post, thank you! Point number 5 … “instead spend the money on some loving counselling sessions to see why you choose to change your face”… certainly will iron out any forehead wrinkles and support that connection back to the natural beauty that’s within.. money well spent.
… when you feel great, you can’t help but look great.
“EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.”- so true. And when we look deep inside the eyes of another, we feel the love of where we all come from.
To start to love ourselves again redefining our whole paradigm of self love, bringing us back to our truth and our heart, is a great foundation for our return home
When reading this blog over and over again I feel everytime so greater healing in this piece. I am looking forward to show all of my passion and invite others to do the same ! I will start practising now and go to work.
Hi Kathryn, I have so enjoyed reading your article – there is much to ponder on within your expression – thank you.
Beautiful blog Kathryn. I’m especially relating to taking a moment to look into our own eyes and appreciate who we are.
Thank you Kathryn. I love your 9 Reasons for Women to Smile.
We chose our looks for a reason – wow. Huge to reflect on this. Thank you
You have nailed it in this blog Kathyrn about how women apologise for not looking good or a certain way, or are they really apologising for the fact that they have not spent enough time on themselves because they have been too busy looking after others…. I was one of those women in the past…. This is a super article and a great support for many women to recognise how important it is to put ourselves first in our lives and to ‘give’ time and space to take care of ourselves….
Hi Jacmcfadden04 its interesting isn’t it?
Where does the apology come from?
It can’t be just for not looking good. We are wiser than that.
It could come from placing others before us and therefore loosing sight of our responsibility to care deeply for our selves each and every day.
Therefore does tthe apology simply come from the choices we have made to care or not care for our precious selves?
This is one of my favourite blogs to return to, because I can still occasionally find myself apologising for something about myself. When I do, I think of your story, and smile my unique quirky smile to return to myself inside.
Your words are like the best ever divine facial Kathryn! I have been looking at my face and seeing the history there, and the eyes looking back at me are now very loving. Why did I choose this face? I will ponder some more on this question next time I am looking in the mirror.
What you offer all woman is so beautiful Kathryn … You have definitely chosen the right profession and what a blessing to sit in front of a mirror with you. I feel like I have done this just by reading your blog.
I have just revisited this divine blog and am again melted by the beauty and wisdom presented, and the quality of the comments that follow. Today I walk away with the commitment to spend a moment looking deeply into my eyes because I realise I have developed a way of seeing myself in the mirror which focuses on the external.
Hartanne60 thank you for your commitment to spending a moment looking deeply into your own extradoinary eyes.
The external verses the eternal. 😊 ✨
I love the power and the love in the choice to not play ball with the self depreciation of an other, and the statement “apology not accepted”. Kathryn you have exposed so many attitudes and beliefs that women have been caught in and the list of Reasons for Women to Smile is priceless. Thank you.
I love this point “never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful”. As women we get caught up in needing to look a certain way and if we don’t look like the image in our heads that we consider beautiful then we feel like failures. I have spent too many years denying my beauty simply because I do not look like Ingrid Bergman! What a waste of time that was.
Elizabeth the limitations we place on ourselves to look like others simply denies ourselves and the world our unique expression. The sooner we accept our own ‘look’ the more joy we will experience having chosen that face and all that it shares with the world. Then we celebrate rather than apologise.😊
People have an exquisite beauty, and lucky you Kathryn that you get to see this everyday! Your clients must be blessed, to have someone who talks to the inner them, their precious being that lives inside, and sometimes hurt, sometimes shy, but never the less truly amazing in their core. What you are sharing is true beauty.
Harryjwhite I have felt blessed by the true beauty of others. And not only while I work with them but in every moment of the day. The supermarket, petrol station, walking in the street. We are extraordinarily beautiful and we can all feel it in each other when we feel it first in ourselves.
I was speaking to a customer on the phone yesterday and I couldn’t help but notice how many times she said the word sorry. It was almost like an internal recording that then came into everything that she shared. It made me feel, what was she really sorry about? We hold such a deep beauty and power in who we are, in our stillness and sacredness as women. Deep down we know when we are not reflecting this. Is this what we are really sorry about, holding this back and allowing the lie to continue?
Yes Vicky what is it that we are sorry about?
Our looks?
Getting in the way?
Speaking up?
…Or holding back our true beauty and perpetuating the lie?
Could it be that more we connect to the stillness … The less we are inclined to apologise?
Yes, I feel you are on to something here,Vicky and Kathryn.
You helped me realize too that I have been a major apologist, basically for ‘taking up space’, but through building a more loving relationship with myself there is nothing to apologise for.
There is ample space for everyone to claim and more as we live in a massive universe, and it is constantly expanding, a perfect example and reflection constantly showing us we can do the same. Without apology.
“When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside. We all come in different forms and often the supposedly ‘plainest’ face can hold the most beautiful person beneath it. The classically beautiful face can sometimes hide a person who feels objectified, hurt and judged. When I look, I feel for your essence in there.”
What a wonderful summation of the faces in the world; regardless of how it looks, beneath the skin and eyes, the portals to our soul, everyone shares the very same essence.
Yes Oliver beneath the shell we are all exactly the same. When we connect we can feel it and when we are disconnected we only see the shell. ✨
So true Kathryn we can see our history in our faces and in our eyes, every aspect and choice is there. “9. Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” I know that if I allow myself to be quiet and look into my own eyes, I start to see the beauty – that I had forgotten or rejected a moment before.
Thank you Rosannabianchini for choosing to see what has been there for eons. It’s worth remembering isn’t it? ✨
Apology not Accepted is brilliant Kathryn I love it. Let women get away with any form a self-harshness amounts to abuse by the presenter and the listener if they don’t respond with truth. What you present about women’s true beauty and where it lives with-in is what every women should know like the back of her hand.
After having read your blog once, I truly changed how I looked at me in the mirror.. I enjoy your blog even more now, it really makes me ponder because my life used to be always about how I and other people look. Your blog is medicine for me. Surely coming back again.
Yes Amita. Accepting our inner beauty brings the Angel within out to play 🙂
The game of apology, blame, guilt and self loathing…soooo very, very tiring and one played by men and women a like. Thanks for the reminder not to make excuses for how I am in any moment, nor apoligies for my beatuy…
Just beautiful, very inspiring blog, thank you. We all have an angel within us, we need to accept our beauty, looks and the angel within.
‘Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.’ So very true Kathryn. Thank you.
I love this…..as i know when i was younger, i was always apologising to people, in situations, in relationships, at work, and it was always diminishing who i was, what i brought to the table. This line was so true…..”Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” I didn’t every think i was good enough, i was always feeling like i needed to prove something. But now, i have such a loving view of myself and truly understand what i bring, i know that i have a connection to myself that is unique and my expression is wonderful and amazing and worth celebrating. This has taken some time to connect to and is a daily choice. But so very worth it.
I love that when I return to your blog. I find new meaning.’See the Angel within you. Your face makes loving sense. ‘ Our faces tell a huge story and I am learning to read how mine still varies at times. I am loving seeing the Angel in everyone else too in their faces.
To love self deeply is what it is all about. To be met in the essence and truth of who you are is an amazing thing. We are all beautiful – Thank you Kathryn for the ‘Beauty’, ‘Love’ and ‘Stillness’ you bring in these amazing words. It is a healing in itself to read and experience.
How very refreshing to read this Kathryn – thank you!
In a recent session with one of the Universal Medicine practitioners, I was reminded to develop a relationship with my own eyes. I have heard this before but it never really sunk in, per-se. I realised that I have developed a way of looking at myself in the mirror over the years and confirming to myself that I look tired. I focus on the dark circles under my eyes. This is of course confirmed when I see my mother, as she exclaims out loud – “you look tired”. I have never disagreed.
So, I am learning to re-focus, not on the wrinkles, or the dark circles, but the fact they (my eyes) are so big and round and beautiful, and the lashes are so long and fine, and the whites are so white, and the colour is a lovely grey blue which changes from day to day. But most importantly, when I look into my eyes, and truly accept what I see (without judgement), I see so much more than me. I feel a sense of oneness and a connection to the Universe. How incredible is that?!
I am also appreciating other people’s eyes too. I love the different array of colours and shapes. It’s actually fun to stop and look into someone’s eyes and really appreciate what they bring.
This blog is a must read for all women. Developing a healthy relationship with ourselves should be taught and celebrated from a very young age.
Thank you Linda for your reminder to refocus – very timely as I am ‘playing’ with using more eye make up
This is truly the most gorgeous blog. What a sacred space for me to visit today and read these gorgeous words. I could really feel your joy Kathryn in expressing this truth. Beauty as a concept in this world feels like it’s at a very primitive level. It’s very shallow and empty and for an exclusive few. What you have written is so deep, encompasses everyone, including children and men, and feels like it’s something that could go on forever – true beauty has limitless depth, it just can keep expanding, expressing and reflecting at deeper levels.
Kathryn, I could read your words every day… When we smile from who we are, we light the world so that others can see the gold on offer and know that such treasure lies within us always.
I love your ‘show us your passion’ list. The list should be displayed wherever they sell cosmetics with the disclaimer that these products are to only be used to enhance the true inner beauty that is already inside you.
I love the point about breaking the cycle and my daughter is confirmation that I am breaking a cycle of lack of worth when at xmas she walked past me saying to herself ‘I am so pretty’ there was not an ounce of boasting or ra ra just her simply stating a fact of how she felt. I was amazed and so pleased that this is how she sees herself. With my deepening appreciation and connection to my inner beauty this will only strengthen in us both.
This is a great example of breaking the cycle. Your appreciation has meant that she is free of the judgement that children will often take on from their parents. Lack of self worth is contagious but so is our appreciation to our inner beauty.
When we love ourselves then our children love themselves ….its only natural 🙂
Great example Vanessa and this is the only way that we are going to break this cycle for the next generation when we stop our self-criticism, self-doubt and lack of self worth and bring deep appreciation of the enormous beauty that we are. Then there is true role models for the next generation to be inspired by.
I absolutely love this blog, it takes the way we have treated ourselves and other women, exposes how much pressure we have put on ourselves and each other to look a certain way. Of course our true beauty is in who we are, how did we become so tricked by what is on the outside? How did this become the measure of us being enough? How have we let the media get away with telling us this for so long? Time to change this, definitely time for us to be showing our baby daughters and every woman we meet that the power of a woman is who she is, not how she looks. And boy are we powerful when we know who we are.
I love to put makeup on for me, but there was a time when I use to put it on for others. I have so much joy now as I apply makeup as I know it’s for myself and not to please another.
Anita the choice to apply makeup in honour of yourself is so powerful that the joy you feel becomes a gift for others anyhow. 😊😊
When I put my makeup on each day I look deeply into my own eyes and see my true beauty reflecting back to me. I take this time to also connect to my tenderness and I then bring this quality into my day.
I can relate to this too Mary-Louise, I have started to really see the beauty of and depth in my eyes and I am loving what I see. I also am now able to bring this beauty and depth to my day and to interactions I have with others.
Mary-Louise I loved your comment in response to Kathryn’s beauty-full article and pondered on when I choose to have such a loving appreciation of who I am – truly. At times this appreciation is present, but not necessarily when I look in the mirror. Your words “I take this time to also connect to my tenderness and I then bring this quality into my day” are so power-full – thank you.
This is so gorgeous Kathryn and I can hear myself apologising for me as well. Never again as I am beautiful just how I am. Thank you for reminding me.
Simply beautiful thank you
I really loved reading the list of “reasons for women to smile”. Accepting and appreciating ourselves as we are. If we care deeply for ourselves then it will always some shining through. “Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance”.
“See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.” – I love this line. Every woman is so divinely beautiful regardless of her looks, size, shape. I have been enjoying feeling this in all the women I meet, to see beyond the exterior, to feel the beauty that is innate within us all. I have found do be able to feel this, I need to be deeply still within myself and accept myself. With the acceptance of me, I can then accept another.
This is so true Donna. Self acceptance is so powerful because it offers us a gateway to connecting more deeply with ourselves and therefore with others. It frees us from comparison and criticism and releases us from jealousy.
The deeper the acceptance….the appreciation builds …. there and then the Angel Within is recognized.
This is something I can definitely vouch for. The more I accept me as I am and enjoy me without asking or expecting me to be different the more joy and beauty I feel in my body — and that’s what I see in the mirror. To celebrate and appreciate ourselves as women and beautiful young girls in all our innocence and sweetness, not holding any of that back is true inspiration when I see it — of how every single one of us should be living.
I have found this to be true too Donna. And love the way it allows me to celebrate other women in their individual beautiful expressions, as well as my own.
Thank you Donna, if I can accept myself more and more it is then very easy to accept others for who they are.
At the moment I am working with homeless people obviously including women. Many women who live in insecure, inappropriate and temporary accommodation, still put on their make up every day despite their feelings of despair. Sometimes I notice the make covers a bruise or two but most of the time, I feel the make up is a statement something like, ‘my situation is not who I am, I love getting dressed up, I love looking ‘nice’ and I’m trying to prove to the world that I am worth more’. I met one woman this week and commented on how lovely her dress what a feel she had for style and colour. She melted and smiled and went on to tell me about how she loves clothes and dressing up. When I proposed to her that her story was not who she is, she looked me in the eye and I could feel our souls connect. Without a word there was a resounding ‘yes’ in her body. Her face held all the beauty one could imagine – being met for who we are. Thank you Kathryn for the invitation to reflect here before meeting more beautiful women today!
You are an extraordinary woman Bernadette, as is Kathryn.
All any of us really yearn for is to be seen for who we truly are, past the stories, beyond the mistakes and though the so called flaws we accumulate through life.
That is what I love about this blog and this comment – there are people committed to seeing the truth of the woman or man that stands in front of them, the beauty of a human being in all of their vulnerability, that remains untouched no matter what else has gone on in life.
Our story is not who we are. This is so true Bernadetteglass and Rachel. The true beauty of all men and women is found deep within and remains untouched and pure forever.
When we let go of comparing, competing, judgement,hurt and fear we can see the beauty before us in every man and woman. And most of all …
The more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others. ✨
So true Rachel about seeing beyond the stories, mistakes and flaws. As it would present as a confirmation, today I met a woman who shared about her life revolving around smoking the drug Ice, prostituting to support her habit and being obsessed with needing a man to ward off the loneliness that haunts her. Amongst the conversation, this gorgeous 46year old woman shared that she makes a point of putting on make up and making her hair look nice so that she can feel better about herself. It struck me that no matter what is happening for us, what hole we have dug, we absolutely know that feeling ‘better’ is ALWAYS about ‘missing’ that part of us that knows the truth that we are precious and complete. It is completely accepting and surrendering to this truth that is the key to unlocking the prison that has us looking outside ourselves (to the abusive boyfriend or for a comment on how lovely I look) instead of standing in the light and strength of our own innate beauty. We are always, already enough. My work confirms this every day.
Life is so very simple when we know this. And in knowing it ourselves, others can know it too. I often smile when I think of children being raised this way, with nothing to recover because they have always known they are beautiful. Regardless of the fact that most of us did not have this from young, we can have it now, in reading these words and looking in our mirror with eyes attuned by love, and true compassion.
When truth is presented I melt into my body, Rachel this is what has just occurred now.
Rachel this makes me melt – beyond the mistakes, past stories and so called flaws. When we free ourselves from all of these then we stand there in our natural beauty, the beauty of a human being in all of our vulnerabitiy. Aaah I can breath with ease as I have felt this to be true and and awesome reminder to just be who I am.
wow I loved reading what you have shared here too Bernadette, a poignant relaying. Our stories are not who we are. When we meet another for who they are we are immediately delivered their beauty, and ours is reflected back to us.
Beautifully expressed Jeanette, we are ‘immediately delivered their beauty and ours reflected back to us’. If we truly appreciated this, then life is made so much more simple and the angst of comparison and judgement are seen for what they are – major disconnection from this truth. We have the key here to the ills in our society. Thanks Jeanette
I love coming back to this article as it washes away any self doubt or harshness I may have about myself as my body surrenders to accepting the beauty I hold as a woman. I also have loved reading the comments between Bernadette and Rachel sharing about women’s lives and how no matter what the story may be we are all desperately seeking for the same thing, to be met by each other. It is very sad to feel just how much judgement, comparison and jealousy get in the way of this.
“The true beauty of all men and women is found deep within and remains untouched and pure forever.” I love this sentence Kathryn.
everyone has a story but that is not who we are and it is amazing to connect with the authentic person and offer them a opportunity to feel their own pure love.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.”-
so true, and we all carry a unique quality that is priceless when embodied.
Unfortunately, like what Suzanne shares jealousy is the key destroyer of woman truly appreciating their own beauty and going into comparison.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.”-
so true, and we all carry a unique quality that is priceless when embodied.
Unfortunately, like what Suzanne shares jealousy is the key destroyer of woman truly appreciating their own beauty and not going into comparison.
I have come to realise that apologising for our imperfections is a great distractor from feeling the full impact jealousy is having on all of us. The magnitude of our light (beauty) is glorious and I am only just beginning to realise how much I have transformed myself into something I am not, which makes me feel ugly and unworthy. It’s time to call jealously out and feel the force that is incredibly destructive to the true beauty industry.
I do believe that reading this blog and all the comments should be on the curriculum for anyone studying beauty therapy and hairdressing.
You have got to the very heart of what matters this blog offers us all a great healing so we can feel the true meaning of beauty.
It is our responsibility as women to reflect to all women our own self appreciation and acceptance to all women within our family, in the work place walking down the street, shopping centres’ everywhere we go and in every interaction we have by truly expressing the delicate, fragile, beautiful women we are and not enjoining in thoughts or conversations of comparison, jealousy and judgment.
Inner beauty can only be imagined when it is covered in a mask of makeup. Women have their makeup and men have their walls to hide from the world who we truly are. have we all bought into what the world conceders beauty? This has always been a shallow view point on what the outside should look like. Without walls and built up protection our true beauty is there for all to see.
I love re-reading this blog – and it just occured to me that it is no wonder the ladies appologise, as we are so so used to being judged and compared on our outer…and most women at the make up counter might generally not live with themselves from the inner beauty first, and so our experience is one generally of bracing ourselves to be judged. What a huge huge huge gift to have someone like you Kathryn, not look just ‘AT us’ but as Sarah says a few comments back, ‘INTO us’. A potentially life changing moment!
I love the way you have honoured women with this blog Kathryn. When a woman is being her natural self it is so lovely to see and feel the emanating beauty that is just there. In fact that is true for men and children as also.
Thank you Kathryn. I love your 9 pointers to get real about accepting how beautiful we are and appreciating that beauty in all.
Why does this extreme unspoken war between and on women exist? When I feel this from a man’s perspective I feel I had something to do with it, or I did in the past. I chased that ultimate physical beauty out of need to satisfy and stimulate my senses – not love.
It’s only now since meeting my wife and potential love I felt, that feeling I was not able to ignore. The more I honoured that potential feeling and the next expression of love the more love that was there.
Wow Rik, your comment offers another slant and level of responsibility for the “extreme unspoken war between and on women”. It must be awful (without even realising it) for guys to chase the ultimate object, the sum of various parts that should be a certain way. So so so so so much is missed this way, all the radiant inner beauty and the warmth of a woman could be totally overlooked whist the focus is on the parts that tick the boxes. This would be an amazing expose of a blog to have the male perspective on the harm of selling the notion of ‘perfect’ photoshopped, unattainable looks, in media, and every message we are fed from young. There is a fair bit written on how much this harms women, but boy and golly it harms guys so deeply as well and needs to be exposed with the kind of honesty you bring to your comment. Imagine the difference in the conversations between guys if the mould was broken of – ‘did you see “that” (body part)’ – to ‘wow, did you feel the power and grace of that lass, chock full of self worth and brimming with true divine sexiness’..to ‘wow, I just saw an angel in that womans eyes’. A paradigm shift that will only come about from a whole lot of honesty from both men and women about whats not working and why, plus women claiming and living from their inner lovliness and men seeing the difference. Women and men working together for the benefit of all.
Yes Karin. I feel like the more we accept that we made our own choices and that our faces are an expression that we have chosen in this life the more we feel responsible for what it is we share with the world.
Every face has a story and a purpose.
We could ask… Why this face?
We all look so different yet we are all the same within. ✨
I love this blog for all the many expressions of appreciation of the inner beauty within. And I love it too for how I’m called to ponder on things I’d never have given focus to but which I feel are revealing of greater depths of appreciation and understanding.
‘See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.’ I’ve always been fascinated by faces – how much faces can change from day to day and I’m puzzled by why I choose my face. So coming to a loving understanding feels really profound.
Living and working London using public transport for my commute I get to see hundreds of different people daily. I love to look a peoples faces to see their real beauty. The best part is because 98% are on the phone, reading, sleeping or plugged into the headphones…and no one is looking a anyone. Their contraction allows almost an artists examination of their faces. I enjoy looking past the no make-up, the tired lined with life faces. There is beauty in everyone… its as plain see if you just look.
It is right there to see isn’t…. Often once we are connected to own beauty.
What I see as beautiful has totally transformed over the years, how a woman,man or child allows themselves to fully be in their innate grace is what feels beautiful to me now. I used to see beauty a a physical attribute that was displayed on TV’s magazines etc. Now quite often when I look at the images of people I used to see as beautiful because of their physical appearance, I see a deep sadness in their eyes, a sadness they aren’t enough. I can see their beauty but I see it in their essence not in their looks.
So true Toni. The beauty is always in the essence of a person. The sadness we see in people’s eyes exists because they are not connected to their own beauty which is just a breath away.
Very honouring blog Kathryn, thank you. I love the 9 reasons for woman to smile, all of us women could have this stuck to our bathroom mirrors, just to remind us of our beauty… and the Angel within.
A truly powerful article.
Thankyou Kathryn, what you share is just pure inspiration and divinity for us all!
Wow.
I have not really spent much time on this blog – mainly because I am a man. I am blown away by what is being offered to women and ESPECIALLY MEN in these pages. So beautiful and real and it delivers to us the depth and honesty that has dissapeared from the way we talk to each other.
This is really really beautiful.
Thank you!
I often felt this as I grow up, “It’s an unspoken war on women, and we are the enemy”. We sabotage ourselves, I feel this to be true and I see how this plays out in relationships. It is powerful to know that we as woman can choose another way.
‘Know that you chose your looks for a reason’
This is a huge one for me.
I know that I have worn make up in a certain way to tick the box of looking pretty so that I will get by in the world. Being physically beautiful breeds a habit of people letting you get away with more.
So I know I factored this into my beauty regime. Thats brilliant to expose and see how manipulative the whole ‘beautiful’ thing can be – and how deeply rooted it is on the physical.
It can be very confronting for woman to sit down and get there makeup done in front of a mirror with the another woman that is looking right at them and right into them. Some would argue that we as woman do our make up every day in a mirror but we have many tricks up our sleeves and find ways to ‘not really look at ourselves’ at these times. I know for myself I do a mirror face, I do the same face when a camera comes out. I have been told many times that I look ridiculous when pulling this face and that I look much more beautiful when I am being my natural self. This is a face I developed as a protection a longtime ago designed to cover my teeth and geared around not smiling so that all the lines on my face are not visible. Others tricks include eye blurring when looking in mirror so you look like a glossy character off ” The Bold and The Beautiful”.
Or a classic and more popular one is rushing so you don’t have time to look or just switching off and robotically applying lipstick as a part of the daily routine etc.
So the apologies begin when they are with you Kate as they are confronted with all they have been running from. Your advice is sound and if we slow down when we have a moment in the mirror with ourselves then we will learn to enjoy it. The things we “don’t like” are usually a way have been living reflecting back to us”
We make it about our nose or a pimple but when we are truly feeling great within ourselves those things don’t matter. You watch children in a mirror and they are so inquisitive and will play for hours if you let them. If we bring more appreciation to others and ourselves in daily life and in all the little moments we will more likely find it easier in the Face OFF Salon moments or getting our make up done. My feeling is we will ace it and soak up our own refection.
I Love this Sarah, — can so relate to those mirror games. Ouch. Now I’m well up for the other version of ‘ace it and soak up our own refection’, and re-realised that this needs more practice, more acceptance, and more allowing – more celebrating – MORE MIRRORS!! ha ha
‘mirror face’ – I know that one. It’s so true what you say here Sarah that we end up not seeing ourselves at all. We try to be a better version of ourselves based on the ideals we have taken on from all the unrealistic and unattainable expectations of society at large. When I look sidelong at myself I am scanning and judging – do I pass the mirror test today or not? Often, particularly if I am tired, it is not, so how then am I walking out into my day? nothing less than a beautiful woman who will not accept this, is in total denial and has just been devastated by the judgement unleashed on her. The self-abuse we mete out to ourselves in the name of beauty is shocking.
“Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” This is invaluable advice not just for women but also men – it is such a beautiful thing to do.
Thanks Katherine for an awesome article exposing the sabotage programs that woman and men too can run ,when they let other stuff rather than the true beauty they are get in the way. As we evolve and learn to love and accept ourselves and others we can then reflect that to all then our children can learn about the true beauty that lies within each one of us . Rather than looking outwards to the world and its deliberate false reflections of what beauty is , that only creates misery through comparison and jealousy of what we don’t have rather all we that we do. I always remember when I am in self doubt that the light shines out not in. So we only have to look deeper within and not outward for the world to confirm us , as it is well set up to clobber us if we allow it by making ourselves smaller or lessor through comparison with another . The ultimate set up that keeps feeding it self back by the law of attraction.
‘ I always remember when I am in self doubt that the light shines out not in.’ Thank YOU Greg. So True. 🙂
I thoroughly enjoyed your sharing Kathryn, and this response from Greg, ‘I always remember when I am in self doubt that the light shines out not in’, an awesome and true point.
So true Greg, “the light shines out, not in” and in not letting it shine through us, how many people are we depriving of our the all of us?
From reading this beautiful article I catch myself now looking in a mirror more often and yes smiling at the reflection looking back at me. For too long I would always see the lines, the spots and the sadness in the eyes and another hair that had grown on my chin – not looking past the surface. Now its a smile that I look at coming from deep within – and I love that feeling and what I see. As my eyes tell a different story to me now. Thank you Kathryn.
Kathryn, thank you for writing this – the way we treat ourselves and each other around looks is crazy. Our looks are our looks, all so unique and all so deeply beautiful when we shine our real selves out. I grew up feeling so ugly because I didn’t fit the picture perfect look of a woman. This has to change… I am so beautiful and cannot believe the way I used to treat myself… which was perpetuated by the boys at school asking me about my weight or why I was different to the prettier girls. Crushing. And so unnecessary. Live our beauty and teach our girls the same is sound advice, very beautiful blog.
Thank you Kate…..and to know that little girls are feeling ‘ugly’ because they don’t fit into the ‘picture perfect’ is crazy isn’t it?
OUR beauty both inner and external is magnificent and to be celebrated every single day.
The more we claim it… the more the girls know it within themselves and in turn the more we will naturally change the way the boys percieve us.
We end the cycle 🙂
Kathryn, this is wonderful. I love your “9 reasons for women to smile”.
I am intrigued by one reason, ‘know that you chose your looks for a reason’.
i will ponder on that one deeply.
I am also going to practise ‘Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.’
I find the idea of it daunting! This reaction makes me realise how i avoid looking at myself. Which is why I probably have never chosen to wear makeup, because i would i have to spend too long looking at myself in the mirror.
I realise from your loving observations how much i have avoided myself because i have not wanted to see or ‘be faced with’ (haha, pun initially not intended!) how much i dislike my face, or how much i don’t like myself.
My avoidance of looking at my face particularly has been the loudest self proclamation that i am not worthy enough. I don’t want to really look because I have been sure that i will be scared by what i will see. In the past, i have only noticed the negative things about my face: my tiredness, my baggy eyes, my uncertainty, my lack of loveliness etc. I am also aware of judging myself against others’ faces! and how my face ‘ should’ look! I know this sounds crazy because thinking that is absurd.
Gosh, comparison is a deep, dark hole! So i guess i fell in to another one, of completely avoiding myself instead, not looking at all!
Perhaps that is why i have made myself so busy with life, and also, an ‘aha moment’, why i have always put way more energy into dressing. In fact, i reflect that I am pretty obsessive about clothes and dressing my self ( i have always loved to express my style, just not through attention to my face!)
I am in the process of letting go a lot of this hardness and loathing i have had of and for my Self. Your lovely words are so supportive of me, and all of us women to‘ see our innermost beauty”.
I realise as i write that I have been looking and seeing can be two quite different activities of sight.
True Seeing is more objective, receiving the image of what is ‘ truly there’, whereas looking feels like a filtering through which one sees, because you are looking for something in particular. In my case, i have looked at myself for the fault, the flaw from a critical mind, and feeling that there is something ‘wrong with me’.
Thank you for your guiding loving words, Kathryn! I realise that the love is in me and always has been, i just have to let it out and let it be!
It has taken me a while to get to this place of self acceptance: Letting my Self be who I am.
From here, I can then really start to SEE and appreciate my unique , BEAUTIFUL ME. There, I have said it! i didn’t think i would ever be able to put those two words together.
Michelle I am deeply touched by your honesty and I know that you are not alone when it comes to truly claiming your beautiful face.
In your eyes you have the universe and all the love you could ever imagine. Starting there is a great place. 🙂
Your comment about seeing and looking is awesome;
‘True Seeing is more objective, receiving the image of what is ‘ truly there’, whereas looking feels like a filtering through which one sees, because you are looking for something in particular.’
Self Acceptance is PowerFULL. Claim your beauty Michelle. You are inspirational.
I deliberately turned to this blog tonight Kathryn. I have been in a struggle lately with my face, seeing only that I look rather tired and bloated when I stand or sit before the mirror. The urge to apologise is strong, but I am not going to fall back into that old way of doing things. 🙂
What struck me was your point about our face making loving sense. When I look at my face, and when I let go of the ideas what It should look like, or what I hope it might look like or the wishing that it looked like someone else’s face….really, where do these thoughts come from!?….I see the perfect face.
It is the face through which my essence makes itself felt on this earth.
What if were to live every moment knowing that?
How differently would I treat myself?
And would living in such a way put an end to those apologies forever?
This is something that I am setting out to explore, a living experiment if you will, living that fact that I am beautiful, first and foremost.
Inspired by you and the many beautiful women I know who have made the Livingness their way.
Rachel YOUR face is the face through which your essence makes itself FELT on earth. Yes your face is the face of an ANGel. 🙂
And yes we can ALL sometimes look tired and bloated and we age and we change BUT the sparkle in our eyes keeps getting shinier as we expand. YOUR eyes are magnificent. GO take a look. 🙂
A smile that comes from within is the most awesome and beautiful smile. If only we could smile at ourselves more and truly appreciate ourselves in full without society’s huge expectations on us. The change will slowly take place when we let go of the illusion of what beauty is. Beauty comes from within, from our essence and this is then reflected to others.
Kathryn, I find myself reading your blog again and again and each time something more is revealed. These past few days I have been observing how much energy and focus goes into all our so called faults along with the pressure to get it right, feeding that inner critique as if were normal ! So what if I begin to focus on all the beautiful things about myself which is so obvious, how brilliant, and beautiful it is to observe that inner critique fading away into the past.
Beautiful Kathryn thank you so much for this amazing love letter. For me your 9 Reasons for Women to Smile has to be printed in a woman’s magazine so that every woman in the world could read them . . .
Kathryn thanks for great blog on appreciating every wrinkle and line. I stood across from my mother yesterday and we were chatting. I noticed that I took a moment to appreciate that all her lines and wrinkles were reflecting beautifully in the sun as we were walking. The shine on her face made me want to hug her and tell her how much I loved her. Inner beauty shines through no matter what your face looks like.
I managed to catch someone yesterday apologising, because I had recently re-read your article, it reminded me and we laughed at how crazy it was to be apologising for your existence.
Thank you…such a beautiful blog, I am having a big smile on my face.
So true Kathryn, “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle”. It is something that can be changed and the power is that from that point onwards into generations on, it will be changed.
Agree Rosanna, these are my favourite lines from Kathryn’s blog, even though I have no children of my own. What is expressed in these two simple sentences is not only for mothers with their daughters but for all of us whenever we engage with a child be they a girl or a boy.
That’s gorgeous Anne, of course; teaching little boys to love and accept themselves too.
Yes so true. The responsiblity to love and accept our reflection includes all women and men and every boy and girl. Everyone is beautiful. 🙂
Great stance: ‘apology not accepted’. May we all just accept ourselves instead of meandering around the world in discontent.
We do have a responsibility to stop the cycle and to truly see ourselves as the wonder that we all uniquely are.
I am bought to tears by the beauty of this blog.
Indeed this is a healing for women, for all.
There is no apology for who we are.
There is grace and beauty in accepting ourselves as we are.
Make makeup – hair – jewellery – an absolute celebration of how you feel on the inside.
How i would love to have a make up session with you Kathryn!
Beautiful Lucindag
Take a moment the next time you gaze lovingly into the mirror and I will too and there we can have the session together. We are a reflection of each other.
With love
K
Thank you Kathryn , up until three year ago that is when I started applying makeup and only recently I felt the joy in applying the makeup. I appreciate the time I spend looking in the mirror and the gentle strokes of the brush as it touches my face.
Yes Deborah the time we take to apply make-up gently and care-fully to our faces is a gift. A moment of appreciation. ✨
It is amazing looking back how I used to apply make up with a reference to looking good meant that I felt good -actually I only portrayed that – it just covered up and buried what I truly felt. I understand this now – it took a while! Now when I gently apply my creams, look in the mirror the reflection has changed – it is a loving gesture to myself to honour and nurture what I feel is presenting the truth of how I really feel. To express that is now another choice that I choose to work on. Thank you Kathryn I am always inspired when I return to read this awesome blog.
I can still find I’m apologising for something about myself, and when I realise I have, I return to your lovely article and feel into ‘my apology is not accepted’. I AM good enough, thank you for the reminder Kathryn.
Within the lines, ‘Know that you chose your looks for a reason’ i feel there is much to appreciate. Firstly, if I choose them then it doesn’t make sense that I berate looking as I do! And it also means there must be reasons for choosing them that I can understand appreciate.
Great blog highlighting the beauty we are all made of. No matter what the exterior surface looks like our inner being is amazing, magnificent and beautifull, it is all in the expression.
Since reading this article a couple of years ago I must say how it has impacted me. I am now far more aware of apologising for how I look, which is something I would find myself doing almost daily. Great article Kathryn and one of those ones that I would love every women all over the world to read so that they too appreciate the glory within.
Thank you for sharing Samantha. Isn’t awareness a powerful thing?
I have also noticed that we apologise for many other things including asking questions, being in the way and moving past people. Situations where we have a moment with another person that may be confronting.
We seem to react to world with a great lack of self worth. Why is this and how can we support oursleves and others to feel more at ease in different situations? Is it time to connect more deeply?
Imagine then the fun we could have rather then somehow feeling we are in the way and insignificant.
I have installed a ‘sorry’ alert button now to get me to stop every time I feel (or don’t feel and that’s the problem) a ‘sorry’ coming on as in apologising for being me
I love this blog Kathryn, it inspires me to see me more fully and to appreciate the beauty in the eyes that look back at me in my mirror. This blog is a great gift to all women.
This article is absolutely beautiful Kathryn, I can really relate to what you have written, when I used to go to the hairdressers I would apologise for my knotty hair and feel embarrassed about myself, I love what you have written here, ‘When I see your face I see the angel living inside.
Yes Rebecca it is almost like your knotty hair some how reflected your inner beauty when in fact the knotty hair was something that gave you and the hairdresser an opportunity to sit together and tenderly comb out.
We apologise if think we have given someone a task, taken up time or even made them uncomfortable in any way. We rob them the joy of our company by focusing on the outer. ✨
I love your response Kathryn. When we focus our attention on what we perceive to be the inconvenience we have created, we so rob the other of the joy of our company and the simple beauty of connection with another.
It’s pretty common among women – the way we have taken on the concern that we are an inconvenience when something caring is done for us…. We are actually pushing away other people’s love by denying them the opportunity to show it in caring for us. How crazy – magnifying lack of love. I learned this once when I’d injured my foot and had to keep it up above my body for a week. Three lovely women whom I hardly knew appeared on my doorstep with meals, guitars and lots of love, to care for me in every way. They gave so fully and unreservedly from their hearts, and I realized at last that it is loving to let people love you in their own way, to accept it, let them in, feel the gratitude without feeling like a burden. We all were so joyful in this process, and became great friends.
Thank you Jane for sharing.
It can be quite shocking when we notice how often we apologise. Imagine if we replaced the words ‘I am sorry’ with ‘I am not good enough’ which is what we are truly expressing. It would then become painfully clear that we are actually putting oursleves down and being extremely self critical.
Then when we could feel that we are about to apologise we could replace it with ‘I am enough’. I am okay. The healing would begin. ✨
Just keep coming back to this powerful blog Kathryn. Today with my computer sitting on my dressing table with my reflection there to observe as I read I see a delicate Angel sitting steady in her warm open hearted heavenly glow, tangible in her open face and shining in her timeless eyes….with no apology. Love this blog and what is on offer to connect with.
This is very beautiful Kate. I can feel the delicate beauty that you are gazing out through your timeless eyes. No apologies to be found ✨
Yep, now I’m wanting a make up session with you Kathryn to play with expressing the lovliness that is there to be seen and connected back to. The quality you hold ladies in just feels so heavenly, everyone must leave with such a sparkle in their eye when you’re looking deep within each and every lady to the precious sweetness within.
Thank you Kathryn. Your blog has really left me pondering more about how I see and feel myself, not only in a physical sense, my face and outer body, but how much can I feel “the Angel within”. Looking in a mirror several times daily has become more about confirming, for many of us, our outer appearance more than really about what we see and feel behind our physical features. Somehow I feel a mirror may not be our best reflector or friend. Maybe we could do away with our bathroom/bedroom mirrors just for a while until we have more understanding on why we look in them in the first place. Are we just confirming our outer without feeling our inner? Or have we connected with our true womanly beauty and the “Angel within” and the mirror is for us to enjoy her reflection.
Great Point Elizabeth. The mirrors can either reinforce our need to visually confirm our external features or once we are connected with the Angel Within, provide us an opportunity to deeply connect to the exquisite beauty of our eyes and the feeling of our bodies.
I agree, so often I look in a mirror to check how I look, but without really looking at all of me, just the clothes or the hair. Memo to self ‘when looking in the mirror connect with that Angel within, look into her eyes, smile and say hello gorgeous. Then check the hemline!’
LOVE this article. As I was reading through I could feel the power of my love and self-acceptance firing up. What you say here is so true – ‘Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.’ Thank you Kathryn for reflecting to us all the truth of where a woman’s beauty lies equally for all; within, and when we connect to our essence it’s immeasurable.
So many cosmetics available, makeovers, magazines, fashion models all telling women how to look, yet underneath it all there is this true beauty – a sacred connection – in all women… and it hardly gets a mention in the beauty industry. It’s all about looks, and not about letting out the beautiful person inside.
Great point Dean. Imagine if the beauty industry began to focus on and present that this ‘sacred connection’ is where the appreciation of true beauty begins and that when this is felt we know that we are already enough…. That you can then confirm this connection, to our beauty within, by how you; look after and care yourself, feel to wear your hair, apply your make-up and how you feel to dress. All coming from an honoring of our Love from within, all from you, for you. A real expression of true beauty.
Where is there a beauty salon like that!
That is exactly how it is Dean and this championing of the exterior has created a world where by most Woman have no really sense of true Self-Worth and live in complete comparison and judgement that it is stopping us from being who we naturally are – Gorgeous, precious, beautiful Sacred Women.
Yeah it’s quite scary really how far we have gone in focusing on appearances – when inside everyone is a beauty and a glory that is out of this world gorgeous.
Dean you are so right. The beauty industry is like a massive treadmill dangling elusive promises. There is this cream and that lotion. 1000’s of brands vie for our dollars, and allegiance. The promises are abundant, fuelled on hope and the delivery questionable.
By why is there such a market in the first place? Why have we fallen for it at all?
You have hit the nail firmly on the head with your comments about true beauty, connection to our innate sacredness and the fact that both have been left out of the picture for so long.
Women in Livingness is the only website and group that is addressing this lack of awareness through direct inspiration. I have so much gratitude and appreciation that I have a place to turn my eyes to see women living their sacredness…really living it.
Thank you god there are a few role models starting to lead the way.
Re-reading this article, this phrase “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.” shows me what a huge responsibility we have as mothers.
Not only as mothers but as women to support other women in their own self-appreciation and acceptance by not enjoining in comparison and judgement and apologising for who we are.
I agree Jenny, the breadth of possibility is so beautifully enormous – by simply accepting and loving our own reflections we have the ability to inspire others to choose the same and with this we ‘change the cycle’.
Yes, the moment we apologise for ourselves, we diminish everything about us, all of our greatness to a speck of ‘I’m sorry that I exist’… The magnitude of who we are needs no apology or excusing. It’s crazy we have become comfortable with this way of existing together as women – apologising, reducing, comparing, measuring, shrinking ourselves – instead of celebrating ourselves and each other… now what would that look like?
Hear Hear Jenny.
Hear hear Jenny. Its about saying whats truth, while also starting firming what is not.
This sentence struck me too Gill. Truly accepting and loving ourselves first is the beginning of change and reflecting to others. Imagine if every woman accepted herself, warts and all! We would loosen up and celebrate, obtain support when needed without self judgement and have SO much more energy to commit to life. It is our responsibility to love ourselves..
I agree with you Gillrandall, what a responsibility it is for us to change the cycle by teaching our baby daughters (and why not also our sons), to love their reflection by accepting and loving my own first. I was brought up to ‘think’ it was vain to look at myself in the mirror. It is no wonder that I did not love myself before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Until then, I had never REALLY looked myself full in the face in the mirror. Now I love to do so, and I adore the reflection I see.
The beauty that shines from us when we are being our true selves is heavenly.
So true Jenny … Heavenly ✨
Very true Jenny, it is just heavenly!
This is so true Jenny and when a woman smiles from this place, particular facial features don’t matter because what comes through is that divine inner beauty which is so gorgeous to see.
From the moment we are born, our smiles are divine. That this light can appear diminished or dimmed in anyway is indicative of the level of darkness our eyes have become accustomed to. Fortunately, all that is needed to rectify this is a simple choice to blind the world with our Heavenly smiles once more.
What a lovely reminder to accept myself wholey & completely for how I am and to embrace differences so thank you Kathyrn.
Kathryn your beautiful blog highlights how accepting and cherishing our own beauty can conquer comparison with others. Because we are all full of beauty.
On a couple of occasions I have had my makeup applied by someone else and didn’t enjoy the experience and couldn’t wait to remove the makeup, but reading your blog and knowing that there is someone out there who sees the women for who they truly are is awesome – this is setting a new standard for your industry. I also loved the fact that you point out not to apologise for our faces but be accepting of our features.
Thank you Kathryn for your beautiful article – it quite pulls me up as I know I am learning that I am letting go of the belief that an apology spoken, or unspoken is due as the ‘billboard displaying previous disregard’ is etched, yet it is only a belief and I am discovering that like a cleansing wipe on a polished nail it can be lovingly erased.
So so beautiful and deeply touching. Abounding in lessons that we are so so much more than skin deep. Not only do you so lovefully deliver unreserved permission to accept and celebrate our inner beauty however it is wrapped, you bring an accountability that it is our responsibility to do so to break the cycle.
Exquisite. “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.” I love how you have exposed how we teach by reflection – how can we expect our daughters to love ourselves if we don’t reflect how to truly do it? Then the words become empty. I just love how you have expressed the importance and healing to accept our inner beauty and exquisite tenderness.
I accept you not accepting my apology and thank you for the reminder to celebrate every part of my face. I had just stood in front of the mirror and looked into my eyes and saw the real me. I started to judge my face and turned away from the mirror and sat down at the computer to read your blog, a very timely reminder that I am beautiful and to accept that!
Wow can you image a world where all make up artists held their subjects with such love. You know the truth of all our beauty and by you not accepting anything less you inspire women from all around to surrender and accept that beauty for themselves.
“Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.” – The more I do this on a daily basis the more I feel this deep within, so lovely to start the day in this way.
What an absolute top article to read, Thank you. I feel to print it out and put it up in my bathroom mirror as a reminder to feel the inner gorgeous essence we so naturally are, and to see this reflected back at me in the mirror every morning. What a gift to all women your words are ☺
Kathryn I can now spot an unnecessary apology on its way, stop it in its tracks and accept myself as I am in that moment.
Beautiful blog Kathryn, I love the nine reasons, especially nr. 8 and 9.
I loved rereading your blog Kathryn, thank you for your beautiful expression
Your blog confirms what I know yet sometimes forget
This is an awesome blog Kathryn. I think it is something that should be put up on a poster in every make up and surgery location as pre treatment reading. I am especially drawn to your words ‘… EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul…’. Thank you.
Whilst reading your inspirational journey Kathryn I was reflecting on a client and friend who just turned 98 a few days back on a warm and balmy afternoon .There she stood in only a bikini brief, with her wild and frizzy long white hair, her beautiful beaming face and ageless sparkling eyes, she said hullo, its too hot to wear clothes today ! and we laughed a lot as women do, celebrating ourselves in all glory.
No apologies here…
As I return again to this most beautiful blog – when you shared “Everyone is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves” you just want to join in and participate in that joy and celebrate. Thank you Kathryn. and yes I am smiling from within.
Sitting and reading this I couldn’t help but be drawn to the curves and features of my face and even though not in front of a mirror I could see the lines, feel how I have lived and appreciate that I am the only person in the world that can wear my face. You can’t package and sell it so that others can apply it, it can only be seen by others when i allow them to see it – all of it.
Kathryn thanks for such a powerful blog. I so often hear the apology comments from women about the way they look and the levels of comparison they go to with another. Your blog has supported me to remember to connect to the inner beauty I hear in the words of so many dearly loved friends.
“Kathryn, when we accept our true beauty that comes from our essence,
We don’t need make up to make our faces glow, they just naturally glow
from within.
Wow Kathryn – it is such a blessing to know that these words are written by someone who works as a makeup artist. The few times I have had makeup applied professionally the makeup artists all spoke of ‘turd polishing’ doing the best they could with the awful faces they were expected to transform – I was also afraid they were comparing my face to poo! It is rare to find someone who so clearly reflects the truth about beauty in the beauty industry. I would love to have my makeup applied by you – I am sure your clients feel very safe and cherished as you work.
I like your job title – inner image consultant and the way in which you describe the job that you do.. seeing and feeling what is deep within each person rather than just accepting what’s on the surface layer – this is often the layer that we ‘put up’ to keep people from seeing the preciousness underneath.
‘See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.’ Thank you for this invitation Kathryn. It is the most beautiful invitation I have ever received from one woman to another. And already in just simply considering the possibility of this, it feels like some layers of ‘protection’ have already dropped away from my face. Thank you.
This blog made me start the day with a BIG smile. Smile and passion are the best make up anyone can apply on their face and show the world.
It’s interesting how often we as women apologise for our state, be it looks, behaviour etc. We are all beautiful in who we are and we just need to celebrate that unique beauty that we bring into this world. There is beauty in everyone, it’s in the smile and the eyes say it all .. I love your title and even more reading your blog Kathryn.
These words are stunning… “When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside. We all come in different forms and often the supposedly ‘plainest’ face can hold the most beautiful person beneath it.” I was on a train yesterday and sitting opposite me was a woman who was oversized and in an exhausted sleep. I shocked myself by making an instant judgement on her. When she woke up, in a split moment, her open face shone. She was stunningly beautiful and I was struck by her gentleness, honesty and humour just by saying hello. Ouch… perhaps it is so easy to judge others because I judge myself so… if I let go of judgement of myself then those thoughts about others won’t be able to come in! Deeply accepting the angel within me is the way to go and I will be able to see the angel in others immediately without a layer of impost first.
Love this Rachel. Honest and revealing. I too love the line – “When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside”.
Reading your 9 reasons for women to smile – I’m smiling and nodding as I read through each and every example . A beautiful sharing thank you Kathryn.
A woman’ true beauty does come from inside us first , I know I can feel as sexy in a pair of jeans as I do in heels or a dress, even my pj’s when I feel amazing inside. What’s on the outside is a reflection of that, my face glows, there’s a huge smile and a playful, cheeky and sexy spring in my step.
What a simply loving blog – I love the essence of this writing. I have been feeling point 6 today.. feeling the angel within me:) And feeling when I was taking of my make-up how beauty-full I am and how that sweet angel within myself is starting to make more and more sense. I never thought I would be feeling like this.. or would say this. But truly – I am even more gorgeous without make-up and this time it makes truly sense:)
Thank you Kathryn and also everyone that writes on here!
Hi Kathryn, I loved this and the true beauty we all are within.
I reread your blog and feel the amazingness in me with and without make-up. It is not about to ‘make up’ my face but to bring out the natural beauty in it through make up.
I love the power of this blog, apology not accepted to anyone for not seeing their natural beauty and living it. The way it relates to woman is a great learning for me. I see the same apology in men, in their hardness and fixed way of living and relating to each other. No different underneath, but just as unacceptable.
Thank you Simon. It is so important we bring awareness to the way men feel and live in the world also. Why don’t they see their their extraordinary beauty?
I love to return to this blog to confirm what I know inside, and then read comments about how lovely a woman is with messy hair and no make up. It breaks all the images that I can feel the need to conform to sometimes, from the outside of me, but know definitely that they are all rubbish! And as I age, with all the wrinkles etc that that brings, it’s lovely to reconnect to knowing it’s absolutely irrelevant to my beauty within.
Great reminder that when I put on make-up, it is to celebrate me.
… and when not putting on make up also perhaps?
Kathryn, what you say makes a lot of sense. All my life, when I loved somebody, I loved all of her, including her “imperfections”. It is hard to put into words but my beloved looks beautiful when her hair is messy or when there is something in her teeth, with or without makeup and it has always been like that.
Ah wow Christoph, I can really feel the love in your comment “It is hard to put into words but my beloved looks beautiful when her hair is messy or when there is something in her teeth, with or without makeup and it has always been like that.”
Thank you for expressing so beautifully.
I loved reading this again Kathryn. The piece that spoke to me this time was “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.” – so profoundly simple.
Beautiful blog. Some ideal breakers in there too, especially wonderful for the women in the world.
Today a friend of mine looking in the mirror said: “I look so old”, and I got trapped in the usual comment, not being true: “I am the one who looks old”. After that I realized that I was competing for the one who looks the worst!! Who does that help? no one. I will call her and say: “Really, you look much more beautiful than 20 years ago, yes, with wrinkles but more gentle than ever before, and me too”. We as women need to confirm each other in our beauty and not fall into the common places that do not enhance our true beauty and help it come out. Thank you for confirming all of us with your blog.
Juliamanbos isn’t it interesting how we will compare ourselves with another even if the comment is negative.
When we truly confirm each other in our natural beauty we confirm it within ourselves also. Appreciating each other is extremely enjoyable and a vital part of us all healing together.
Thank you Kathryn, I felt the truth of appreciating each other, but with your comment I realize there is more, it is actually as you say, extremely enjoyable and healing to do so. More of that in our lives, I can feel the opening and expansion already!
This was so beautifully written and I truly can walk away from reading this and appreciate my innermost beauty with love and self acceptance. I’ve never been one to wear makeup because for most of my life I’ve been more of a tomboy. And I felt silly for wearing it if I did. But its interesting that in the last few days (before I came across your blog) I’ve felt to start trying to wear it again, not to cover myself up but to bring out my true beauty as a woman. Thank you writing this blog. I have a smile on my face 🙂
Thank you Kathyrn. Indeed in all the women in the modeling industry that I come across in my work as a fashion stylist, there is not one single woman that I haven’t found beautiful–outward beauty is a reflection but not the cause of true beauty, which already is within us all, and just waiting for us to express it so it can freely emerge. And thank you for reminding us all Kathryn that any apologetic take on how truly beautiful we are, is going to keep this true beauty locked up, so we are sharing less of ourselves. We may be intimidated sometimes of how truly beautiful we are, and feel unsure how expressing our beauty fully may cause another to feel, but if we too hide our own beauty, women as a whole would never know how truly amazing we are, and how long can we keep on being dishonest to ourselves?
Hi 1heart1love1earth
You are so right. We keep the true beauty locked away with all the apologising.
What are we truly afraid of?
Our own inner beauty and power? Reflecting it in another?
Perhaps it is rejection we fear?
How long can we continue the self-dishonesty?
Much to consider and more to claim. 🙂
This is so beauty-filled Kathryn – I feel very humbled reading your blog. Your line…. “We compare, compete and comply. With our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends. It’s an unspoken war on women, and we are the enemy” Is so powerful, thank you for exposing what every women has felt but not dared to express. As you say every women is deeply beautiful in her unique way, if this was claimed there would be no need for a war on women. So lets end this and as Kathryn says “See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.” Thank you Kathryn.
Thank you Caroline.
As we begin to connect to our own essence one by one the weapons of comparison and judgement are placed down to rest.
In the darkness of this unspoken war we are seeing many lights switching on.
Slowly slowly the healing begins….
Beautifully said Caroline – and so true. We can end this by simply seeing the Angel within.
Kathryn as I read your blog this time I felt as a man that we do the same things – at least I have felt for me that same worry that I am not handsome enough, my face doesn’t fit – what do others think about it? The truth is of late I have been spending time looking into my eyes and feeling me to my essence and accepting every part of me – this has been confronting and I am learning not to make an apology for who I am at all.
Yes Lee I agree. Men also live in a world of competition and comparison and their beauty is often judged on the strength of their jawline and the thickness of their hair. Its crazy stuff.
When I meet a man that is connected to himself his eyes are all I see. The rest are just the details of a chosen face for this life. Lovely but not the focus.
Self acceptance is key and very attractive.
Thankyou Katherine for sharing such brilliant inspiration in this beautifully simple blog that offers the truth and power of just being the emanations of the innermost to reveal a radiant beautiful woman .
Katherine, this article is an inspiration for all women – and men as well. We would all do well to remember that when we smile ‘EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like’. How different would the world be today if smiling at each other first before engaging in any other way became the norm.
Yes Anne, so true – before any words – smile with your heart – every meeting with others would have such a different starting point,
Agreed Anne – this does apply to every man as well as every woman. It is sad that we live in so many ways that stop us celebrating and appreciating ourselves and each other. Lets start by smiling at ourselves and seeing that which lays deep within and as a result see what lies within another. Change has to start somewhere, lets start with ourselves.
That’s gorgeous Caroline – let’s start by smiling at ourselves. I don’t know that I’ve stopped to literally do this in the mirror to see how my face lights up or my eyes sparkle – I know they do but I need to see it and appreciate the beauty I am.
Each time I read this incredible blog I go deeper. Deeper into those parts of me I still might feel aren’t quite enough and deeper still into the layers of beauty that have been lying dormant underneath them. This beautiful piece of writing takes me to the depth if my fragility and inner most essence; I melt into who I truly am.
Kathryn, this is so beautiful, I keep coming back to it. Thank you.
WOW… What an amazing blog. I can feel, particularly in the young ladies that I know, that they can cover up themselves to fit the mould that you must have makeup to be accepted in the world. Can be hard to see it that way.
Yes Ben the truth is women often use make-up as a mask or ‘cover-up’ to fit the mould of acceptance in the world and yet the true acceptance lies within them.
The power of a fresh faced young woman who feels and knows her own beauty is heavenly. Then when she does wear make-up it is not to cover up but to celebrate that beauty.
I have loved revisiting your blog Kathryn and this is such a celebration of all women of all ages. Enough apologising indeed, let’s just shine who we are unconditionally, let’s dare showing our face with all our choices to-date and let’s be passionate about loving ourselves and the unique-ness we bring to the world.
Yes, we are all unique, sad that so many of the lauded beauties of today seem to have had that unique – ness airbrushed out, and much of the shine too. Lets glow girls!
I have loved re-visiting your delightful blog Kathryn and once again it has made me smile. After reading it the first time I printed out “9 reasons for a Woman to smile” and put it on the wall in my kitchen and by my desk at work, and each day I stop to read one or two points, as I notice others doing when they are in my kitchen and at my desk. Today’s was number 6 – “See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.” Such precious words, and yes, I am finally allowing myself to see the Angel within me and as a result, my face is slowly starting to make sense.
I loved your blog Kathryn, very inspiring and whilst reading it I was able to connect to the beauty within – so precious and tender
A great reminder that our inner divine beauty is within us all,when we allow ourselves to go deep within.
Ingrid it is awesome that you have printed the 9 reasons up and shared them. There’s such a power in claiming who we are isn’t there?
Thank you for sharing the love. 🙂
What a blessing Kathryn, having people like you doing the job that you do. Focusing on our inner beauty.
Very true ^, amazing to have this sort of care in the make up industry.
Kathryn, this is wonderful. I love your “9 reasons for women to smile”.
I am intrigued by one reason, ‘know that you chose your looks for a reason’.
i will ponder on that one deeply.
I am also going to practise ‘Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.’
I find the idea of it daunting! This reaction makes me realise how i avoid looking at myself. Which is why I probably have never chosen to wear makeup, because i would i have to spend too long looking at myself in the mirror.
I realise from your loving observations how much i have avoided myself because i have not wanted to see or ‘be faced with’ (haha, pun initially not intended!) how much i dislike my face, or how much i don’t like myself.
My avoidance of looking at my face particularly has been the loudest self proclamation that i am not worthy enough. I don’t want to really look because I have been sure that i will be scared by what i will see. In the past, i have only noticed the negative things about my face: my tiredness, my baggy eyes, my uncertainty, my lack of loveliness etc. I have despaired when i look at myself and compared my face to the made up ,photoshopped, model faces that are everywhere
Gosh, comparison is a deep, dark hole! So i guess i fell in to another one, of completely avoiding myself instead, not looking at all!
Perhaps that is why i have made myself so busy with life, and also, an ‘aha moment’, why i have always put way more energy into dressing. In fact, i reflect that I am pretty obsessive about clothes and dressing my self ( i have always loved to express my style, just not through attention to my face!)
I am in the process of letting go a lot of this hardness and loathing i have had of and for my Self. Your lovely words are so supportive of me, and all of us women to see our innermost beauty. Your words support me to see my unique face and self that has nothing to do with comparing with others. I have more self love now and I am able to allow myself to recognize and appreciate my good and lovely qualities
I realise as i write that looking and seeing are two quite different activities of sight.
Seeing is far more objective, seeing what is ‘ truly there’, whereas looking feels like a filtering through which one sees, because you are looking for something in particular. In my case, i have ‘looked’ for the negative.
Thank you for your guiding loving words, Kathryn!. I realise that the love is there and always has been, i just have to let it out and let it be.
It has taken me a while to get to this place of self acceptance: Letting my Self be who I am.
From here, I can then really start to SEE and appreciate my unique , BEAUTIFUL ME. There, I have said it! i didn’t think i would ever be able to put those two words together.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like”, great words Kathryn, and thank you for the reminder that beauty does come from within. The Mona Lisa is an example of that, not a classic beauty but there is something special about her that everybody feels, and loves, and it comes from the inside.
Beautifully expressed Kathryn. I was really pleased to be drawn to reading your blog again and be reminded of how apologizing for how one looks is really saying I’m not good enough. I feel the love and tenderness coming through the words every time I read them.
Such a gorgeous, healing blog Kathryn. Reading all the lovely comments too is confirmation of how beautiful we know we are when we connect to our beauty from the inside first.
As I read this blog I started to smile and as I read on that smile just got wider and brighter and I could feel it coming from within. Amazing blog, thank you
We do have such a responsibility to change the cycle….to start honouring ourselves as women and the beauty that we truly are. It is up to each and every one of us women to start seeing our beauty and honouring it.What a gift you are to these women, I can feel how much effect you would have by holding them in this love. Thank you.
I loved reading the wisdom in this blog. Although I am deepening my love and appreciation for myself – I feel there is always more of me to embrace and adore.
‘Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.’ – Thank you for the reminder!
Self acceptance is powerful and very beautiful.
Very true Kathryn. The more we can accept ourselves exactly as we are the more our true inner beauty can shine. It is the best beauty regime there is!
Yes, so healing as well for self, as well for others.
i have recently noticed as i have consciously chosen to love being easy in my ‘own skin’ , how great i feel, my outlook on life and everyone is generous, spacious, alive, celebratory, fun! and allows others to connect to their own wonderful qualities.
Thank you once again Kathryn for your love-ing qualities.
I read this for the second time and I love it even more- you really remember myself again, to look and celebrate myself in looking in the mirror instead of searching what is not perfect. We so often look deep into others eyes, why not look at oneselves that deeply. Thanks for supporting me in looking at me even more differently through this blog again.
I totally agree with “Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like”. No make up can stand up to a smile from a place of love. Look at the way children smile.
Thank you Kathryn, Even though i have read this only recently, i really felt like reading it again. It is so nurturing, and just makes me surrender – Just as gold the second time…and definitely more to come!
I also have read this beautiful blog a second time and I feel so celebrated as a woman. The appreciation of one’s face is so felt.
I have just read your blog for the second time Kathryn and see so much more than I did the first time. So beautiful and confirming of us as women, to look into our own eyes and see the Angel within, to smile our deep Soul smile and know that we are beautiful . What a great job you have looking into the Souls of so many and having the opportunity to change the way women view themselves with your “Apology not Accepted.” Thank you Kathryn.
I’m so delighted with how you explain why the apology is not accepted- for years and years I apologised constantly for not being good enough in so many areas, or so I thought. I am so glad I have turned this pattern around. I am so worth it, the concept of putting make up on to celebrate how beautiful you are, rather than cover up ” flaws” is awesome, yet again showing a way forward.
Yes Felicity so many of us have apologised for our feelings of inadequacy for so long…. But the more we wake up to the way we have been choosing to live and fully embrace our gorgeousness the less we feel to apologise. The tide is turning. And we all inspire each other 😊😊
Kathryn this is an amazing blog! So much love and wisdom here. I love your mention of the angel within each and everyone of us. You expressed in a way that takes beauty back to its home, that deep place within us where our essence resides, and as that radiates out our true beauty is visible to all, to be adored, cherished and appreciated in all its outwardly, unique forms, with absolutely no apology!
Kate this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your beauty and all its power from the deepest place within. 😊
A beautiful article to wake up to every morning Kathryn – thank you.
Yes Marion, and take that appreciation to the day.
I love this article ~ so glorious. Thank you Kathryn.
Attractive features are very different to beauty. I have attractive features, I will not always have them, nor have I always had them but I will always have my beauty. I treasure my beauty and it can never be taken from me.
rebeccalpoole this is so true. Attractive features and beauty are two different things.
One is what is compared to and often judged from the outside world, a part of our physical body that will change as we age.
The other is a quality that is felt and expressed from within that can NEVER be challenged or taken. It is eternal.
This is such a beautiful article, thank you. I love to gaze into my eyes throughout the day and can feel how strongly I can either accept myself or hold judgement for the array of apologies and imperfections that can present .. but I can see that they are all choices I have made and there are so many more choices still to make, my eyes reflect how beautiful I know myself to be from the inside and when I walk around or do my next thing with this knowing I have a deepening sense of confidence within me and a new level of willingness to understand further who I am .. and how much more beauty there is to me – more than I can fathom.
Cherise what you have shared with us here is beautiful. Knowing our inner beauty certainly does deepen our confidence. Your willingness to understand that there is more then we can fathom is powerful. There are no limits to what we can rediscover ✨
I have noticed that as women we not only apologize for our looks we are more than likely to apologize for, well, just about anything. This is often our opening line to another woman in the supermarket or a store when we think that we may be in their way. Most of us apologize on a regular basis for our mere existence. So I am loving your stating ….”Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accept.” Thank you for sharing your insights Kathryn.
I agree Kathleen. We apologise for almost anything! Not only is it unnecessary but it then forces the other person to accept the apology. All day long… Day after day… No wonder we are all so exhausted.
Exactly Kathryn. Any way the best apology is unsaid. You simply correct the behaviour you are apologizing for.
I like that – ‘apology is not accepted’. And yes I agree, why are women apologising for who they are. We have all fallen for what beauty supposedly is – but it’s all been a lie. What the movies, magazines and tv shows have portrayed is completely false. Women are already beautiful without all those ideas. The were born that way.
Your love and appreciation for others shines here Kathryn and you share a perspective that we can all now choose for ourselves. No more apologies! Thank you
Could not agree more. Beauty is always in the eyes.
This is gorgeous reminding women to have permission to be ourselves and see our own inner beauty and not apologise for who we are….
I love this blog so much. You have totally given women back the opportunity to feel and connect to their true inner beauty, the beauty that is there behind the physical appearance. Awesome blog Kathryn.
To accept that our true worth has got nothing to do with the way we look is like a great big shiny welcoming door back to our true beauty.
Our most beautiful face is our natural face. To look into your eyes and see your soul, this is true beauty. The way you said that “the plainest face can hold the most beautiful person beneath it” felt so true to me.
Harryjwhite i agree. The natural face we have is so beautiful in its unique way. Self acceptance is vital. Then any makeup applied can be done so with respect and care.
Thank you Kathryn for a beautiful invitation to see beyond what we see. By the end of reading all I could feel was the warmth and tenderness of inside and any concerns of how the face looks had faded away.
I loved reading your article Kathryn. I am noticing what a difference it makes when I stop, look deeply into my eyes and just allow – I see my innermost beauty sparkling from my eyes- so so beautiful – to truly appreciate,& feel the real me.
Then when I apply makeup I definitely feel I am honouring the loving, gorgeous woman that I am.
This is gorgeous Loretta and very true. When we take a moment to connect to our eyes first then we will apply makeup in a more honouring and gentle way.
As I was reading this blog I was saying yep! that’s true, yep! that’s how it is – smiling inside at how I used to be with make up – wanting to look good or hide behind or to attract the wrong sort of attention – put thick mascara on – which caused my eyes to go red. Looking in the mirror then I was not seeing/feeling the amazing person that I know myself to be today. With or without make-up. Great article Kathryn thank you.
Thank you, Kathryn for a truly beautiful blog.
I love this: “EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.”
and also this:
“Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance.”
Beautiful advice indeed.
Thank you Kathryn I love this blog, it is so confirming of the deep beauty of myself and all women.
This is an awesome read Kathryn – thank you for exposing the apology. The words ‘Apology not accepted’ cut through all the ideals and beliefs we have about ourselves as women – there are no more excuses now, no more competing and comparing but feeling, honouring and celebrating the beauty that is within us all equally so.
Thank you Kathryn, as a man I can relate to living my life apologizing for everything, it was an indication of how I felt about about myself and not being what I thought others wanted me to be. I now have changed that way of being, and take time to look into my eyes and see the tenderness and true beauty inside of me.
In the dictionary;
apology
əˈpɒlədʒi/
‘a regretful acknowledgement of an offence or failure.’
So the message is….’Sorry if I have offended you’. Ouch. It stings doesn’t it? It is like we know deep down that we are not connecting with our true beauty and we feel regret or even shame.
Do we feel that we have failed others in some way… or …could it be ourselves we are apologising to?
Why apologise? Because we don’t fit into a mold or because we are not perfect?
Or could it be that we have not been truly loving and appreciating the gorgeous women that we are?
And…if we are apologising at the beauty counter for not being ‘beautiful’ enough then … where else in our lives are we apologising?
Awesome Kathryn, so true thank you! I have apologised all my life – and felt the shame here, and a knowing that ultimately I have been apologising to myself, for not being who I truly am. Time to look at this with new eyes, with my eyes – and realise the fact that this has been a choice, and now I have the power inside me to make a different one.
I love the questions you ask here Kathryn…
– And yes I feel that one of the main reasons we apologise is because we compare against a picture that we have been sold that is so focused on the outer instead of connecting to the true beauty within that never leaves us.
So true Marika – that old chestnut of focusing on the outer instead of the inner! Great blog Kathryn and a great reminder to be who we are, no apologies accepted.
Yes Marika and Lorraine I agree. The comparisons are what separates us. When we focus on the external image we can’t help but notice our differences and the competing begins. It’s simply unnecessary and creates feelings of insecurity and self doubt.
Thank you Kathryn for not accepting the apologies that you have heard. It is an amazing healing to feel that someone accepts you for who you are, not what you look like, and even more than that, what you don’t look like. It can also be uncomfortable to feel this acceptance as it is a reminder of how much we have not accepted ourselves and from this we are given the opportunity to feel the pressure we have placed on ourselves to be someone different to who we truly are – which results in us burying our true beauty. To allow the true beauty to shine out from within is truly inspirational and so very natural.
It’s true- as women we are so apologetic about how we look at times and I can feel that this is definitely coming from a sense of lacking ‘something’. That something is connection to who we truly are as women, something we have forgotten and something we are not reflecting to each other these days. Yet as you have pointed out Kathryn, we are all so beautiful, we all have an inner beauty that is busting to come out and I feel your blog is so inspiring and supportive with this.
I have returned to this blog because I feel deeply appreciated and confirmed for being ‘me’, just me. A lovely reminder of how easily we can be pulled away from that appreciation, but it is not necessary; ‘there is nothing wrong with us’ as Natalie Benhayon said recently. There is nowhere else to go, no need to go anywhere but to accept deeply who we are. The power of those words is life changing
Wow, it is so true as women we make so many apologies of why we don’t conform or fit into societies idea what a “beautiful women” should look like.
Thank you, this is amazing. For the “9 Reasons for Women to Smile”- serving back to us that we are enough and “Apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” An article to always come back to and learn from.
Not only do you say you are not good enough for apologising, not completely stop anyone from showing that to you as well.
It is so true Kathryn, as a man I feel the beauty of all women and the sacredness they bring. The ‘most’ attractive women is one who is comfortable with herself and loving herself, it shines out for all to see, irrespective of so called looks.
That’s lovely Kathryn, lovely to read about honouring how beautiful we all truly are. I know when women start to let go of the mask, the habitual expression that has become ingrained in the muscles of the face, it can actually be quite scary, it is as if one is letting go of a protection, even if one knows that that has not really been protecting one all.
I have heard many times, when the mask is just starting to be let go of, “oh I must look so boring,” . But then there is the possibility and the opportunity for true beauty to emerge and be there, and this is Grace and Beauty, “as it is, as it truly is.”
I am going to take this great advice and stop apologising for being me!
“We compare, compete and comply” all unnecessarily so … We are all equally beautiful in our own unique way.
This is gorgeous Kathryn. Thank you for seeing and honouring our angel within – a beauty that transforms the physical parameters it expresses through.
A woman who is in touch with her innermost beauty and appreciates her face just the way it is.. will always be ever so naturally beautiful and attractive.
Such a beautiful and true sharing. Thank you. I love the point you make that by us loving our own beauty we help break the cycle for the next generation of girls.
Thank you Laura. Yes breaking the self loathing cycle and apologetic behaviour and developing an inspirational understanding of our natural beauty is important. Imagine young girls and young women turning to the older generation to see confident, claimed elders who feel gorgeous as they age not tired old and insignificant. Imagine feeling inspired to age not dreading the thought.
Kathryn I am left smiling from deep within, and feeling my own innermost beauty even more just from reading your blog. I truly wonder how I ever felt the ‘ugliness’ I did feel as a teenager. I now as a grown woman entering menopause feel so lovely, sexy, sassy and deeply full of beauty. I have claimed ‘me’ and the self acceptance and freedom I feel is truly a gift that all women deserve to give themselves.
Kathy, I love this blog more each time I read it. Its so great to celebrate not just our own beauty, but that of all women, all ages, too. Thank you.
Maryloureedis I agree. Self acceptance and freedom is a gift that all women deserve to give themselves.
It is a natural right and responsibility to claim our innermost besuty and celebrate it.
Mary-Lou thank you for claiming you and all the gorgeousness that this brings to your own life and the world. ✨
Deeply beauty-full, exposes an all too often accepted trend with modern woman and one that is most definitely not one worth adopting. The question so becomes, are you as a woman prepared to accept just how stunning and deeply beauty-full you are inside so much so the gorgeousness on the outside is just keeping up with how much you really are shining within. Or are you as a woman looking for anything or everything that will make-up (pun intended) for the glory that is otherwise there within you?
Kathryn, what a beautiful line you have there: “Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.” That line could well be posted over every woman’s mirror until she is complete acceptance of her true beauty. I’m going to start with myself…Thank you!
Hi Kathryn, I loved reading your article and the experience you share from your professional life. I have been known to apologize in the situations you describe. I reflect now and truly wonder about that. A new favourite past time of recent times is to look deeply into my eyes more often. I am glad to find this practise on your list of recommended activities that will enhance my relationship with myself. Just last week at work I have felt that I have connected more closely with my patients by consciously holding their gaze and seeking to see the angel within. Thank-you for your affirming blog.
Hey Kathryn, your ‘9 Reasons for Women to Smile’ should be a program for all off us every day…. the ‘making-me-smile-program’ : )
i find it so confirming to return to this article Kathryn. I know I used to be constantly apologising for myself, (oops, sorry for getting in your way, sorry for not being smart enough. In Uk , we can say sorry for even existing). I love to spend a few moments each day looking into my eyes every morning, and seeing the reflection that comes back. It’s a great marker to see myself, my inner beauty and feel where I am and I’m encouraging other women to do the same.
Inner and outer amazing beautiful Kathryn your blog is a heard opener for every woman in the world. So thank you for writing without comparing and being in competition that is so needed under us woman and therefore so healing. As you have written let us change the cycle.
What you have written is so gorgeous Kathryn. I love how you can see the unique beauty in everyone’s faces. No judgement or comparison there.
It was lovely to return to you blog. I felt very supported when I read ‘spend a moment of each day staring into your own eyes- to see your innermost beauty with love and self acceptance’. This feels so gorgeous to do to feel the reflection of myself, and I shall repeat it often, thank you.
I feel you’ve really captured what society imposes on us to believe as we grow up, only to discover that these impositions have made us heavy with burdens that are completely false. All who choose to express love shine beauty, for it all comes from within.
Hello Kathryn, I wonder if we stopped and felt for ourselves what that ‘apology’ was all about. Why are we apologising and who is it to?
I live with and see many women in my businesses. I interact with them and I am careful how I treat them. I bring all the care and respect to them I have for my young daughter. I realise I have a part in this ‘apology’, not that it is my fault or that I need to carry it, but a part none the less. It is not about changing something or building them up, it is about care, respect and appreciation for what I am seeing. I realise that if I am not seeing them for all they are then that is me and it has nothing to do with how they are or how they look. The beauty in all women is always there and it is my choice how I will look it.
What you have described here is the true beauty that a man is Raymond – it is in his choice to see the true beauty in each and every woman.
And we as women feel it, and bloom in the presence of a man who treats us with such care, respect and appreciation.
I so love what you have said about the way you regard all women, with same care and delicacy you give to your daughter. You have set a benchmark for men and women alike: for men to let go of the false rules of what makes a woman worthy, and for women in respect to how they will allow themselves to be treated by men.
If we grasp the depth of what you are offering here we stop playing games with each other and we allow the flourishing of the beauty we all are.
Really beautiful comments Raymond and Rachel. It’s true that as a woman when I feel a man who meets me from all that I am, I bloom…This is because I feel safe to be me with the care, respect and appreciation that is offered. Sometimes I can feel intimidated by the hardness and aggressiveness that some men (and women) sometimes bring and I go into protection. The learning for me is to keep expressing from my innate tenderness and beauty no matter what the other person is bringing.
Kathryn what your share is truly a beautiful gift to all women. We are all truly beautiful no matter what we look like or how we perceive ourselves. Little girls remind us of this and today I choose not to apologise and let me true beauty out!
I used to put make up on to try to be more sexy and beautiful. Now if I put makeup on, it is more about how I feel, rather than making myself look a certain way. I love the colours, the textures of the brushes and products. It is about fun and I know I am already beautiful.
Wow Kathryn, stunning blog! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and passion!
What a gorgeous blog Kathryn! I too have felt that our faces reveal all our inner journey with ourselves and that whatever mask we may choose to put on that day will not fool anyone. So why do I still choose this way sometimes – because I want to hide the pain and not let people into my life and to see how unloving I can be with myself. Today I will put on my makeup with honesty and celebrate. I will allow the world to see me as I am – a beautiful woman. Thank you for the inspiration.
I love this article and wish that someone had’ve said it to me like this when I was a young girl. In fact when I was young I did have people say ‘love yourself’ but it didn’t mean a lot and when asked further as to how people didn’t have the answers. Here this feels practical and real as to how I can move forward to accept and let out my beauty, and not hide it away. I specifically love this point. “Start expressing your true thoughts about beauty with your friends – open up the opportunity to connect withOUT comparison.” I feel how meeting women equally, and seeing and accepting and celebrating their beauty will allow me to feel my own beauty.
Thank you Kathryn this blog should come as a gift when buying any beauty item, how awesome would it be to be encouraged like this to see our own inner beauty instead of being bombarded from everywhere telling us we need to look better. I love how you say an apology is not accepted, far to many women say sorry for how we look. I nearly caught myself saying it the other day it is shocking when we realise how ingrained some of these beliefs are around how we should look. You have brought it right home to us exactly how it is. Thank you Kathryn.
You are absolutely right I do have a responsibility to change the cycle. As I learn to accept and love my own reflection, I am now enjoying celebrating me, something I had never truly done before. Thank you Kathryn.
I love looking into my eyes and seeing the true beauty that’s shines out from me! A great blog Katherine, expressed beautifully
Kathryn,
Since reading your blog, everytime I go to apologise, I stop myself as I can feel that
I’m saying I was not good enough. I used to say sorry all the time.
I also felt how to sit in front of a mirror and really look into my eyes is something that I avoid, even when putting on makeup. But as I read what you said I could feel how just sitting and looking into my eyes would bring appreciation.
After reading this blog I took myself off to the mirror to have a look in my eyes.
Even though I apply make up whilst looking in a mirror every day I realised I only look in one eye at a time. As I kept looking at myself I noticed that this is what I always do, look from one eye to the other all be it a subtle shift.
As I practised looking at myself straight in the eyes an amazing feeling of ‘letting myself out’ began to bubble. I understood on a deeper level something that I’d previously read – “beauty has nothing to do with how I look on the outside.”
True beauty allows us to see ourselves and everyone else with eyes that see the inside before we focus on the outside.
Kathryn, I love how you write with such authority, Apology Not Accepted. There is no room here for any woman, or indeed man, to not believe they are beautiful no matter what.
It is a sad fact that beauty is seen as skin deep by society, and our worth can be measured by this. If this simple piece of writing halts that sad belief for even one woman, that is worth celebrating for sure. Thank you for your unique angle.
A beautiful inspiring article, thank you. I also appreciate the honouring of every man’s beauty as another moment to debase the superficiality of how we judge what is and isn’t beautiful in society today, and how targeted that is to women and dismissive it is to men.
A beautiful reminder to women to deeply connect with who we are and shine that love as brightly as we can. No amount of makeup, surgery or enhancements will ever replace the absolute stunning reflection of a truly sexy and confident woman smiling and filling a room with her grace and power.
Lovely,
Lets see women shine in their own natural beauty
I love what you have written particularly “Start expressing your true thoughts about beauty with your friends – open up the opportunity to connect withOUT comparison.”
It’s amazing how the relationships with my female friends have begun to slowly transform over the years as I have started to share my true thoughts and how much the relationships have deepened as we have given each other the space to speak openly about what is really happening in our lives without comparison.
This is so lovely Kathryn – it makes me ask loud and clear why would I/anyone apologies for being who they are? What is that awful feeling of not being enough for ourselves and anyone else? Where does that awful feeling come from? I’ve discovered it comes from years of looking outside to everything and everyone else for acceptance and approval. As you lovingly share it’s inside that the acceptance and approval comes from. Truly living this lets that awful feeling move right on by.
I love what you say about talking about True Beauty with other women – without comparison. How often do we get together and celebrate how beautiful we are without the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’? And how often do we express to one another how beautiful we feel if we really feel it. This I feel is a game-changer, and one that I am going to start embracing. Thank you Kathryn.
Yesterday I spoke with my daughter on make-up and how she is with applying it and why sometimes it feels different to other days. It is amazing to feel how much, even in someone so young, is constantly bombarding each and every woman to question and down-grade how they truly feel about themselves. As a man I had been trained over many years to see ‘beauty’ yet over time have realised this to be false – the beauty I see is first felt and each and every woman is beautiful; deeply, wonderfully, beautiful.
Thank you Lee, your comments about feeling the beauty of women first and seeing the beauty in all women feels deeply respectful and honouring. Such openness and curiousity to another’s experience allows a deeper understanding and level of intimacy.
Thank you Kathryn, this blog is so needed to counter the ever growing practices out there to look beautiful… when in truth we already are. I am definitely not saying I feel this everyday, I can say I love seeing different changes in my body and face as I grow older and there is a real beauty in that… but it is a work in progress with my face at times. This has definitely inspired me – “Make no apology for how you look. Accept your own face the way it is. Without makeup.”
Gorgeous Kathryn. As a hairstylist I hear so many ways women are harmful to themselves when the sit in my chair in front of the mirror . And often have to turn them away from the mirror. And how reflection of self is actually the most beautiful feeling in the world ,to love and accept ourselves in full. Looking into into your own eyes is an amazing soulful connection.
A message that is too often over looked, that women are beautiful from the inside out.
The anicient plague of constant perfection of beautifulcation has dominated what it is to be a women for ages.
Really love this blog speaking from the simple practice of a makeup artist who is supposed to be caught up in the murk of perfection, speaking and saying hey your beautiful and I see you.
Kathryn what a loving call to account to all women to say no more. No more comparison, self-judgement or self criticism. That you will accept only the true embracing of ourselves and accept nothing less from us all either. The true beauty and grace that we all are and our responsibility to ourselves and future generations to stop accepting anything less than our grandness.
It really is about that, isn’t it, accepting ourselves in full for the women that we are.
I smiled hugely as I was reading this blog, yet the content spoke of a tragedy. But in its words and in the conviction “apology not accepted” was great awareness and confidence that there is another way and that it begins with saying no, not acceptable. Awesome.
Great post! Thanks Kathryn for your perspective as a Make Up Artist. Thank you for not accepting our apologies when it concerns our lack of self acceptance!
I love this blog Kathryn, I have read it out to a group of teenage girls I was working with on a self esteem program. When I read it they were silent, they were silent because they could feel the truth of what you shared. It is so rare for teenage girls to have true role models that confirm the beauty of who they so naturally are. Sharing this was like saying – remember who you truly are. Thank you Kathryn
This is superb Marcia. Reading this to a group of young women is a gift. Forever they will have the opportunity to draw on this understanding of beauty, and what makes them so beautiful.
All young women deserve this.
How beautiful are we when we express from a deeper connection to ourselves?
How amazing is it to look into the eyes of a claimed woman?
How gorgeous are we as we age? We are extraordinary.
I am inspired every day by the comments on this blog that actually take it to a deeper level. Part 2 is on its way.
Thank you Kathyrn for this beautiful blog and reminder that we are extraordinary. I remember being a confused emotional and reactive teenager wanting to hide my body and beauty from the world. The most inspiring moment was when I looked into the eyes of a middle aged woman who was deeply content in herself- when she smiled at me she welcomed me into all that she was – I felt at ease and at home.That was when I felt the true beauty of someone is way deeper than the external features of the face or body.
Its so true…our face speaks so much of how we feel about ourself…like you say Kathryn, the ‘energetic map’. Shifting the focus from seeing our so called ‘faults’ to appreciating our inner loveliness is such a game changer. Thankyou Kathryn for inspiring women to appreciate what naturally is so very beautiful – their essence.
Dear Kathryn,
I have read and commented your blog already, but reading it again – as in the way I change – the way I read it changes. And I’m today very inspired to not apologize, but to see my beauty and show my passion*
I love the way you put this Christina, beauty is so fluid in the way it shines in and through us.
This is absolutely gorgeous this blog!!! You nailed it in many ways ! An awesome reminder when you get caught in the superficiality and not being connected with yourself.
What a great blog. I smiled all the way. I love your playfully written message to not apologise for having ‘bad hair days’ when in truth we are all beautiful.
I love to re-read this blog. In our culture we spend too much time apologising for not being ‘perfect’ and not enough time celebrating being uniquely beautiful. It made me smile too, lips eyes,nose,cheeks, wrinkles, they all make me who I am, tell the story of my life, and that I am happy in my beautiful skin.
This is a beautiful reminder Kathryn. Having a much younger partner I have in recent times often been concerned about my ageing appearance, for fear that at some point she will no longer find me attractive. I see the beauty in others when I look deeply into them and have many examples around me of beautiful men and women who show me that true beauty radiates from within, but too often I do not take the time to look at myself in that way. Thanks again you said it so well.
Gorgeous 1timrobinson.
Age never seems to matter when we are truly connected to the beauty within. We are eternal and our eyes remind us of this every day. ✨
Thankyou Kathryn, for the reminder that we are all Angels inside, and that my face is the perfect vehicle for my Soul to express all that I am, and simply smile from ME!
This is awesome: the new ‘how to’ manual for loving how you look!
Yes Dianne starting from within inside of judging and comparing the outside. 😊
I LOVE this Kathryn! Apologies not accepted feels so loving and inviting of every woman to reflect more on the truth of who we really are!
Your blog made me ponder on the phenomenon of how when you meet someone new and their looks may not be that appealing to you at first glance, but the more you get to know them over time the more beautiful they begin to look? What you write is so true, beauty comes from our essence, it is not skin deep, and we all have a beautiful essence.
Its so true Kathryn, beauty is in the eyes, the windows to our Soul. It shines out for all to see, it is unmistakeable when you see it, it something you can feel in another.
Inspired by this blog I have started to look into my own eyes for a moment before and during applying my makeup. It is a lovely thing to do, I really start to enjoy this time with me more and I love to look into my eyes. It makes me see how cheeky and playful I am inside and it supports me to let my playfulness out in my daily life.
Apart from applying the make up part, I have started to do that as well Lieke. I have never been able to just look into my eyes before but the more my confidence grows in myself, the more I allow myself to be the ‘real me’, it gets easier to look into my eyes and see me for who I truly am, a tender, gentle, beautiful and joyful man.
This is so lovely and isn’t it interesting how the more we connect to our own amazing eyes the easier it is to see into others.
Love this blog. I have loved watching women, particularly my wife, become more beautiful as they age. As they become more accepting of who they are and more claimed in their femininity their beauty then radiates from within. When I was young I thought that the only people who said beauty comes from within were ugly people. Now, having met some truly amazing and beautiful women I know that beauty does truly come from within. Thank you for sharing this Kathryn.
Yes I love this blog too, I agree , when a woman apologies for how she looks, we can look more deeply at what is being said, because it really is as Kathryn points out, that a woman thinks she is not good enough. Time to address that.
I love your comment Lee, how beautiful it is to hear a man express such genuine appreciation for his wife as well as other women with total respect for both. Thank you, I feel honoured on behalf of all women.
Me too Lee – yours was the first comment I saw after reading Kathryn’s beautiful blog. To feel your words about how you see your wife is just gorgeous. Beauty has often been connected to youth, but as I and other women around me are ageing, there is a timeless beauty that shines through that I see in us all – wrinkles and all!
Your comment feels so honouring of all women Lee, thank you.
Yes awesome Lee. True beauty is ageless.
A truly beautiful blog Kathryn – thank you. What a deeply healing experience you offer all women who come to have a treatment with you. You can be my beauty therapist anytime 🙂
This is a very supportive blog for women. Maybe a woman’s face as it is naturally (without the make-up done to cover up) is exactly what other people need to see to be reminded of the truth.
As a beauty advisor I often receive this statement too when women sit down in my chair. It feels awful. It feels like such an insult to the woman herself but it also feels like an insult to me too as it is effectively saying that I cannot see anything in this woman that is beautiful. The things that are bothering her are not bothering me, and I am there to help her enhance her natural beauty. I can see her natural beauty, so why is she apologising?
Hi Rebecca
Thank you for sharing. Apologies feel awful don’t they? When you can see and feel her natural beauty THAT is what you choose to align with … nothing more and nothing less.
What a beautiful reminder to appreciate ourselves. I also could feel the sadness of where I didn’t appreciate me. It is very important… for us all to see and feel the beautiful women we all are.
A very straight forward loving blog. The self judgement sits so deeply in us woman, so what you say really needs to be printed on the front page of every newspaper.
I will now go and look into my eyes in the mirror.
Thank you Kathryn for this beautiful reminder. I am celebrating my gorgeous face more and more everyday. One point you made really struck me “know that you chose your looks for a reason.” That is truly amazing, to think that we chose our looks and yet we still choose to compare and down play how absolutely amazing we all are in beautifully unique ways.
I love this blog! Every time I read it I feel deeper still the healing that comes with what you share Kathryn, to deeply cherish, celebrate and accept our inner beauty and let ourselves see how this can shine through our faces. This article is a true woman’s ‘manifesto’ — every woman and young girl should read this.
Dear Kathryn, this was lovely to have come from someone in the beauty industry. That you see the beauty in all womans’ faces. I would be comfortable with you looking at me.
Smiling with you Kathryn, and with all women and men.
Thank you Kathryn for sharing some of your understanding and wisdom about true beauty – this is no small thing when the beauty industry is so fixed on glamour, youth and only seeing beauty as skin deep. I like your job title “Inner Image Consultant’ – couldn’t we do with more of these.
I have also become aware, through reading so many beautiful blogs on Women in Livingness, that I have started to look at myself differently when I do not wear make-up. And reading your blog Kathryn, I have realised that the little bit of make up I wear around the eyes, does enhance the beauty-fullness that actually is already there. Thank you for sharing your experiences, in fact I have printed the “9 reasons for Women to smile” to remember and reflect every time my eyes fall onto it,
Beauty-Filled Blog Kathryn, and I can truly feel that there is an absence of judgement when you look into someone’s eyes! A blessing indeed.
Self acceptance is key to feeling claimed and beautiful. There is no apology there.
I absolutely love your blog Kathryn. Thank you so much for writing. It is so true. Women are always beautiful women, girls are always beautiful girls, it doesn’t matter what we put on top to enhance it. The beauty is inherently there in all of us.
Thank you Kathryn for such beautiful blog. I am amazed how much our faces can tell about us. I feel a much deeper appreciation of faces and the depth of beauty they can bring.
Thank you Kathryn,
Your article was a great reminder about my inner beauty and taking the time to enhance this not to make it different or cover it up.
It also gave me something to think about when others are making excuses to me, not to get caught up in it and offer a reflection to them.
That is well said Sherryllgee, offering a reflection so they also can start to see their true beauty, instead of getting caught up in an excuse about how they look. Thank you, great comment.
What an inspiring, empowering article for women. We have created a war with each other, comparing and competing for crumbs of attention. Some of us try to hide our beauty and loveliness, apologetic for any discomfort it may cause for other women. We all know that comparing is not true for us, equality and appreciation of each other is what we all yearn for and the freedom to let that inner beauty out. I love your practical steps to accepting our beauty – without any apologies!
Thank you Fiona. How right you are. Competing and comparing for crumbs of attention…. When here we are ALL so incredibly beautiful in our own expression. We have been UNseen for so long. Now we choose to see oursleves and at last the tide turns ✨✨
this blog is gorgeous! thank you for writing this as a woman it really reminds me I am already beautiful, others see it in me but it’s important for me to see it in me!
No Apology for my beauty 🙂
I was actually looking into the mirror yesterday while standing in the elevator and I looked into my eyes and I went like wow, they looked so bright and beautiful. I was really looking into my own eyes and not checking myself out how I looked. What a huge difference!
Beautiful! I love the appreciation for you!
Kathryn this is a beautiful article. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience. There is much that touched and inspired me here. Wouldn’t it be grand if it was a prerequisite to having cosmetic surgery to have counselling first before making a decision to go head or not? Perhaps cosmetic surgery figures would decrease each year over the current increasing trend year on year. Yes for “EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” so true as our beauty emanates from within.
I love what you have written here Kathryn, I have written out the 9 Reasons for Women to Smile as a reminder of my true and inner beauty. Thank you for this inspirational blog.
As I read this blog I feel a deep sadness for the times I have not accepted and truly loved the gorgeous woman that I am. Kathryn thank you for reminding me about true beauty.
Kathryn I LOVE your blog. It is so beauty-full and made me smile. Fortunately I re-dis-covered my inner beauty already a while ago. Since then I put make-up on not because otherwise I wouldn´t be pretty but to celebrate and confirm the beauty that is already there. Nowadays I use the mirror as a marker: When I look in the mirror and don´t like what I see I immediately know that I am not really connected to myself. Whereas when I am truly with me and feeling myself I see the lovely details: my sparkling eyes, my bright smile, laughter lines telling from my joy-full life… And that´s like a miraculous cure because it magnifies my beauty. 🙂
Karin I love what you have said here about the mirror. It is the marker. When we are not connected we LOOK and when we are connected we SEE and FEEL the beauty that we truly are ✨
Thankyou for this inspiring blog, it is so true how much we apologise for ourselves.
It’s really just another way of chasing a ‘yes’ from others when we get a reply like ‘nonsense you look fine’ or ‘oh me too’.
No more playing down – embrace your true beauty and unashamedly love the skin you’re in! 😀
THAT is beautiful.
I was deeply touched by reading your blog Kathryn . . . wow there is a woman writing for women without any comparison that is so wunderbar – thank you so much for this.
My mom was a hairdresser and so she looked always perfect with her make up, her hairstyle and dresses and she would say that she loved this. For me it was always that she put on a mask to do her job and hide behind it. Because of this I choose to not wear any Make up at all because I don’t want to hide me and make myself prettier.
Since two years now this opinion has changed. It was your point 2 “When you apply makeup – do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it” that made this change of view inside of me. It is now such a joy to put the Make up on and I have to say even if I am 53 years old I am looking amazing sexy!!!!
Esteraltmiks thank you for celebrating your face and this is what it is all about. We are all so beautiful and when we allow oursleves to feel this then the application of a little makeup becomes very honouring.
53 and sexy? Absolutely ✨✨
A beautiful blog Kathryn Thank you! I loved reading every part of it.
Kathryn – the love you are and share with humanity just pours out of the words you have written. I cried when I read your blog because it is so true, so beautiful, and I can strongly feel your deep understanding of what beauty really is – and how you have reflected that to so many women in the work you do – and for that I am deeply grateful.
Deborahsavran thank you for your appreciation. I do love humanity and we are so very beautiful in every way. I have had the privilege of connecting with so many people. Sharing this felt like the next step 😊
I love this blog Kathryn… Raw, true , powerful, tender and deeply moving
How beautiful Kathryn, it really is true how you can see the real beauty in each and every one of us, especially when we just let out who we truly are.
“Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough!
I will remember these words every time I go to apologise
Me too missspringclean…I will also remember the words if you apologise your saying your not good enough.
It would so easy to blame my mom about that she did not give me that lovely mirror. And she could blame her mom and so on…this “looking into the past” brings an understanding – which is good. But to get what I wish to have, I have to bring it.
This is truly a beautiful blog. I think it’s important that we not only feel ourselves to be beautiful but acknowledge out loud the beauty in others much more often.
Yes Kathy I agree. Acknowledging another’s beauty out loud is so important. Why hold back something that we can feel and see?
What a beautiful reminder to meet oneself with this lovely presence everyday.
This blog reminds me of the joy I feel when I see a women smile with all her heart. There is no amount of makeup that can show this to the world. Priceless!
Love this Kathryn. Would love to jump on a plane and have a session with you. I have not liked my body my entire life, have hid it for fear a rejection. Today I went to the public swimming pool and swam in a pair of swimmers that did not hide my body, This is a first for me. I have two daughters aged 15 and 5 and loved how you shared “8.Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.”
This blog reminds me of when I see another women laugh with her whole face and all I feel is her inner beauty shining through. No amount of makeup can show this to the world. Priceless!
Beautiful blog…to remind us we are enough and we are all beautiful.
It is crazy that we see ourselves differently to how we see our sisters in life – we so easily accept them but not ourselves as beautiful. I do appreciate myself so much more and this is with the help of the practitioners building my self-love.
Thank you this is beautiful, its true we give it all away in our eyes and faces so why then do I think I can hide certain things about myself? The truth is I can not it is all right there.
What a beautiful reminder that we are all beautiful and we need to stop and appreciate this.
That list of 9 reasons to smile is worth hanging on my bathroom mirror! It’s crazy how much pressure we as women put on ourselves based on looks, – I can relate to that. It’s like my looks have defined who I am instead of who I am inside, in my essence. Quite absurd to think about, really. I have actually started NOT apologizing when not having makeup on, and instead try (yes try) to truly feel good enough.
What I love is the 9 reasons to make a women smile, and most of all not to make an apology for who I am. Thank you.
Kathryn this made me melt. As I was reading this I felt like a layer of warmth came over my heart and gave it a big cuddle. Similarly my body felt the same but in feeling so was also asked to stop for a moment to feel how much I have been my very own worst enemy- and that hurts. Such simple comments that we make about ourselves everyday, that have become a ‘norm’ and way of making others feel better, or worse to stop ourselves truly feeling how beautiful, and precious and gorgeous and stunning we are- inside and out- every woman, every person in their own way. You have inspired me to be more aware, to watch and feel the moments I try to make excuses, say things to apologise for being me… I don’t want this to be apart of my norm any more, nor my friends, my family or the many thousands of others around the world. Its time for me, for us to no longer allow this- and as you perfectly say ‘apology is not accepted’
Yes Brianna I agree. Enough is enough. It is an opportunity for us ALL to become more responsible for accepting oursleves and inner beauty and expressing, without apology, our glory✨
Thank you, Kathryn for this wonderfully touching, beautifully unapologetic blog.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” This is so beautifully expressed and so very true, thank you Kathryn.
So beautiful, Kathryn and so strong and powerfully expressed! No more apologies just embracing our true beauty!
Awesome blog, it blows me away just how much we apologize for the way we look. Its like we are apologizing for being ourselves which might mean we feel tired, sad, vulnerable or joyful and playful but the fact is that women shouldn’t need to apologize for just being themselves.
Yes I agree Madeline. It great to feel more deeply into why we apologise.
For not being good enough?
Not being the same?
Or perhaps for the unloving choices we having been making?
The more honest we are the easier it is to let go of the apologising. 🔥
What a great reminder that we are all beautiful, and to appreciate and celebrate this fact – without apology!
Yes, I agree – a brilliant reminder Angela. I was just connecting with a friend on Skype the other day whom I hadn’t seen for nearly 20 years,and as I saw myself in the camera I felt myself tending to my hair and nearly! apologised – and just caught myself in time – and just laughed and saw the whole beautiful me in that moment.
Karina how gorgeous that you caught yourself and just laughed. We almost apologise for apologising! Thank you for sharing your beautiful self and your playfulness. 😊
I completely love this blog! It stimulated me to look at the way I look at myself so much more than I had been and I am learning to not accept any form of apology I may make about myself, whether I make it just to me or to others, in order to not further pollute the world with something that is patently not true. Also, I see daily in other women the proof that each are so very beautiful in their own way (in their eyes and in their smiles) and henceforth, intend to say so and celebrate the fact whenever I get the opportunity.
I was deeply moved by your blog Kathryn, so much that I read it three times and sat with it for half an hour. If all little girls were raised to appreciate their inner beauty, the world would be in a very different place. I only began to appreciate and enjoy my physical appearance in my late 30s and after reading your blog I know that now is the time to deepen my love for my self even more. No more apologies … here here.
All I have to say is a woman who knows her own true worth is a beauty-full woman indeed, and their eyes say it all.
I absolutely loved reading your blog Kathryn, I was transfixed to your words, thank-you. So many beautiful pearls of wisdom in there I’m going to read and re-read!
Kathryn there is so much to love about your article but one of my favourite lines is ‘Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like’ because I had the same thought the other day when my neighbours teenage son (who isn’t usually much of a smiler), beamed at me and my heart melted
thank you for this beautiful article. This is a good courage maker for all of us!
I love your writing Kathryn, it’s beautiful. Can feel authority in your words – Apology not accepted. Thank you.
What a gorgeous and quirky reminder of the beauty that we all are! This blog is also a great reminder for me of going deeper in accepting my own beauty and allowing it to shine out no holding back. Thank you Kathryn!
Wow Kathyrn, your blog has really moved me, the beauty you see in all is felt and so beautiful and inspirational. I love the points that you have listed for us to consider at the end of this article and reading these has led to a deeper appreciation of myself and every other woman. I have very few eyebrows and unless I am ‘putting them on each day’ I feel less beautiful. Your blog has led me to ponder why this is so. Thank you.
Beautiful Kathryn, just wanted to say how amazingly beautiful you are at being able to see all these women you meet in such a loving way. The unspoken war on women and we are the enemy, that is powerful. Thanks for sharing.
It is a work in progress for me to not apologise when I have a flair up of rosacea on my face. Most of the time the apology is silent, it’s shame, and when i feel like this I hold back who i really am because i don’t feel likeable, It’s I think that is all people will be able to see and I just feel so ugly. I am not ugly though, far from it, and I am one loving, powerful, incredible, creative, funny, caring woman. Your right Kathryn, there is no apology needed and I am going to cut it like a knife the next time i feel this way.
Thank you for sharing this Kate. I recognise the silent apology that can become a foundation for me to make myself invisible. Not only can I be more aware such apologies coming from an other, but I can also be more aware of them when they are silently doing their damage from within me, and choose to not play ball with any of it.
Wise, wise words from a woman who you would expect the opposite from. Rather than hear about tips on how to cover our flaws, we hear about letting ourselves shine through our smiles. A divine read and timely reminder to connect and be with me.
This is an amazing blog Kathryn – so true. I love the 9 reasons for women to smile especially point no. 3 – ‘Know that you chose your looks for a reason’ the words brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.
How open and loving you see the world, Kathryn. This opens up my face, too – and how beautiful the world will be once we carry that openness wherever we go.
I love how you say apology not accepted. It is so true, we need to stop apologising how we look, stop comparing us with others and simply start accepting and loving our features, faces, bodies. I do agree, there is deep beauty in all the faces. It is very exquisite and extraordinary to be able to see people in their true beauty.
I am working in a shop selling natural cosmetics. Yesterday a woman went in and said about her hair: this is my “I-am-a-mother-of-an-ill-child-look” and I smiled. Even though she made a joke, it was an apologizing about how she was looking (and the child and its ill condition was taken a bit responsible for her “bad look” as well). It was a beautiful woman saying this – not celebrating herself at all. With me smiling and taking this “Apologize” (accepting it) I supported this non-celebrating. Now, after reading this blog I will be more aware what I am agreeing with. And Rachel, I like to add to “It is very exquisite and extraordinary to be able to see people in their true beauty” – it is a training as well! So I claim here: I will be more aware what I agree with and I will train in the support of celebrating beauty everywhere.
I am with you Sandra. I have found myself agreeing to the “self putdown” that people fall into, with a laugh or a smile. It is a form of politeness that heals no one. Thanks for naming this and confirming how important it is to stop agreeing with the loveless words.
Such a deep level of acceptance to confirm our exquisite radiance and heavenly beauty and to know we are full of worth.
This is just gorgeous Kathryn. The other day I chose not to wear make up and I found myself excusing myself to a friend ‘don’t mind me – I’m not wearing any make up today’… And with that was a feeling of not being acceptable, or enough, because I wasn’t wearing make up. I remembered this blog, having read it before, and took some time to feel into the truth of who I am – feeling in full that I am not my face, or my body, and that true beauty radiates from within… and that I am equally as beautiful (inside and out) without make up.
I loved this blog, especially the list at the end. For number 5, it makes sense to have ‘loving counselling sessions’ to see why you don’t like yourself and want to change something. I’m now wondering why no one has thought of it before. It’s just so normal for women to feel their lack of worth and change who they are to fit in. Getting surgery is seen as a normal thing in society no one stops to ask. How you have explained it though identifies that something is wrong. I like that. Then number 8, teaching your daughters is a must. I guarantee every mother’s answer to the question ‘do you want your daughter to grow up loving herself?’ would be a yes and the answer to ‘Do you want your daughter to grow up self-conscious and not feeling good about herself?’ would be a no. Yet we accept it for ourselves. The thing is, you can’t teach your daughter to love the skin she is in if you do not love yours. She is going to see and feel the way you act and then not know how to act another way.
Wonderful points Emily. Especially love the last 2 lines. Of course! Thanks for getting this out on the table.
Thank you, Kathryn – not something I would have expected from the average make-up artist when the whole industry seems to be about covering up, bettering, disguising, undoing, patching up and imposing its hollow ideals.
Kathryn I had tears in my eyes when I read your absolute love of women. No more apologies from me. My deepest apprecation.
What a beautiful freeing up of my life. To be free of the constraints of self judgement and comparison. My whole self, not just my face, feels better already.
This is such a gorgeous article to read. Love, tenderness and appreciation pours out of it. How wonderfully supportive it is to not accept someone’s apology when they are denying their true beauty through that and instead letting them be inspired by the love and appreciation you reflect back. Very inspiring and healing. Thank you.
Kathryn, what a truly truthful message you have given we as woman. I have many times apologised for the way I look especially since I have become older . It is so true that we all have much beauty inside and often on the outside that we don’t see , our smile our eyes and our very being. Thank you.
What a great article made me smile
Yes – apology definitely not accepted. And yes – all of us as women have that deep beauty within us. This is something I’ve been and am still allowing myself to feel more fully within me… The judgments we can make of ourselves run deep. Its truly beautiful that every woman has her own unique face and looks – that’s to be celebrated…Thank you for this blog Kathryn…
Kathryn, you offer the greatest gift here – or perhaps I could call it a ‘reminder’ – that we are all ‘enough’. Why keep fighting this fact, when by celebrating what true beauty really is, and that it is within us all, there is so much actual beauty and joy to be experienced within and in our interactions with others.
Your words are precious and priceless.. those of a true beauty consultant, for they speak of the true nature of what beauty really is.
Thank-you.
Recently I was at the supermarket and I was looking at the woman who was working as a cashier. She was incredibly beautiful – but it wasn’t her looks I was noticing, it was her joy and her grace that caught my attention. As I stood there feeling her, she looked up and gave me this beautiful smile. At that moment I felt how we as women can remind each other of how truly beautiful we all are and celebrate that. When we looked at each other that day we were celebrating the beauty of all women and boy did it feel amazing.
Vicky, I can’t ‘see you’ right now, but from your words I am feeling the beauty of you and the light it brings to my own eyes…
Just going to show that we can connect to this, even just by thinking of/feeling another.
Truly beautiful, thank-you.
That is beautiful, Vicky – a great confirmation that it is not our looks but our innermost natural beauty that truly makes us beauty-full.
I simply love your nine reasons for a women to smile! I get my hair and make-up done by professionals every time I work and most of them just put the make-up on painting out the picture they have. I’d love to sit on your chair to experience the difference.
That was great I really enjoyed it, I realised how critical I have been of my wonkie smile and not recognising that when I smile from the depth of my soul its not even wonkie !!
Love this article, so would my 14yr old son. He recently asked me why so many teenage girls wear foundation, to the point that quite a few actually look orange. He couldn’t understand why they would feel the need to make themselves look ‘ridiculous’ when they are already so beautiful.
Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough. This sentence touched me, it is so true.
To come to say such an sentence to somebody you have to look in your mirror with disrespectful feelings about yourself. Then there is a question:
Where does it come from?
Those apologies don’t really offer apologies, but they are just some words being put out there in anticipation of being judged, to protect ourselves from a potential hurt, like saying ‘I’m telling you that I know I am not good enough, and look how small I am already, and you cannot make me any smaller’ and it is not just about how women look. Oh, wait, I think we call that ‘being humble’ in our (Japanese) culture and often praised as a virtue.
What a wonderful post. I want to book in immediately with both my daughters who are still young enough and unchanged enough to love how they look. I want to come with my mother and my friends. I have never stared into my own eyes…yes I have looked at them to apply makeup or critically access how tired they are but never to appreciate them or get to know them…
When I am connected with myself and look in the mirror I see and feel how beautiful and precious I am. When I do not see and feel this beauty and preciousness, I know that I am not connected and have allowed outside negative thoughts to creep. This is always a sign for me to re-connect.
Thank you marylouisemyers you have nailed it. It is all about our connection. 🙂
“We are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life.” I was caught up in this as I was a child, I always felt because I was not as pretty as my friends I would be left behind, A fear that stuck with me for a long time.
Beautiful Amita we are encouraged to compare our selves from a very young age aren’t we? The feeling of being ‘left behind’ is sadly common.
There you were feeling that you were not as pretty as your friends when deep within you was all of heaven coming out through your eyes. Your unique external beauty was for you to claim and celebrate but instead you felt compared and afraid of being left. It’s such an illusion isn’t it?
I can read this blog again and again, and it’s a big one to be shared with every woman and young girl on this planet. Kathryn, you express here straight from heaven for us all as women to remember the true beauty that is within us, and not seek that beauty from outside of ourselves which leaves us every single time we do this as believing we are not enough.
Thank you beautiful Katerina yes this expression is from heaven and for us all to remember. Our true beauty within us is to be felt, claimed, seen and shared with the world.
Thank you Kathryn, for seeing ‘me’ in a world that attempts to dictate who, what, and how I am to be. Today I claim all of me – The Beautiful Woman I am.
Thank you Kathryn this is a truly beautiful expression for all women. It’s interesting as I read the article I could feel how there have been things that I have accepted about myself – no issue. Others I continue to baulk on. When I read your article it confirms that every single part of me (and everyone) is worth it and that there is no need to baulk or wait.
Thank you Kathryn,
I am starting honour and love all my features and wrinkles as an expression of the beautiful essence inside me. I love the way you stress that our beauty comes from radiating our inner essence and no matter what we look like on the outside, we are all beautiful when we express from this place.
A most beautiful blog from a most beautiful woman; one that rings true for me on so many levels and, one I will print out and place somewhere where I am reminded constantly of the beautiful woman I am. Thank you Kathryn – I appreciate that you will not accept my apology for being any lesser that this beautiful woman.
What a beautiful blog, thankyou so much for sharing. By the title I was not sure what to expect but it was lovely. This is something I have been learning is to stop apologing for being me. And it has been an amazing journey
“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is LOVE but cosmetics are easier to buy”. Thank you Zofia this is the truth.
The more that I self-care, self-love and truly appreciate the Divine Woman that I am I find the deeper I go with others. Looking into my own eyes and feeling ALL that I feel without judgement or protection than in turn allows me to look deeper into your eyes and see the gorgeous person that you truly are. We are all extraordinarily beautiful on so many levels and love is indeed the greatest emanation.
How perfect that I should read your blog just now Kathryn. I have always felt uncomfortable when looking at photos of myself (mirrors I avoid – sort of look at myself without looking, if you understand what I mean). Recently I had photos taken and although my odd face was there I also looked beyond that and noticed the beauty of the light in my eyes … so thank you for not allowing us to apologise for the way we look … and encouraging us to simply accept and appreciate who we truly are.
hartanne60 the beauty of the light in your eyes is breathtaking and if we all appreciated this about ourselves when we gazed in the mirror… what an amazing world it would be. 🙂
Beautifully written blog Kathryn, thank you for expressing so clearly,I just love the ‘9 reasons for a woman to smile’ – something to remind myself of every day now and not accepting anything less.
Kathryn what a great job you have, and what a great service you provide – seeing beyond the look of a person and reflecting back to your clients the truth of the love that’s inside them, and accentuating this. I love the tips, and, having read your wonderful blog, it feels appropriate to me to tweak just one word on the very valid and indicative reality of our society, comment that YSL made: “The most beautiful makeup of a woman is LOVE but cosmetics are easier to buy”.
Zofia – great tweaking of this quote. The word ‘passion’ in the original quote has sexual and emotional overtones and has its origins in the Latin root pati which means ‘suffer’ . LOVE is a far more appropriate word for this blog.
Gorgeous writing. Gorgeous words. Could you imagine if every beautician/consultant that every women in the world went to, felt the same way you do and supported women to connect to any of those 9 points you raised. Oh my. How amazing would that be.
I was having some eye make up put on my one of those people in the middle of a shopping mall, and he asked me…”now which is your worse eye?”….and I was like “woah, what did you ask me? do you seriously ask women this” and he replied yes and I think he was equally shocked that I challenged this.
We had the most amazing conversation after this where I shared how important it is that we no longer continue the myth that there is something wrong with our eyes/faces etc… that need ‘fixing’ up and that he could simply ask the women which eye they would like to start with.
We both learnt so much from this conversation – I to call this out when I hear it and for him to realise that what he says can have an impact and not just to follow the script. And this was done in a very lighthearted way so we both enjoyed each other as we explored the topic. It was a great moment.
Now it is my turn to whoa Sarah! I would love to have witnessed that conversation with the young man. You have really given him something there…a true blessing with your wise counsel.
Kathryn, you have really initiated a great conversation with this blog, one that is rippling out into the world.
Yes Rachel isn’t it amazing how we can initiate a great conversation and expose so many old beliefs by simple expressing the truth.
Sarah you are awesome. Calling it out like this is what is needed to awaken our ‘beauty’ consultants of the world and their clientèle.
Every single time we express with love …the heavy ugly conciousness of the beauty industry…. cracks apart a little more.
Imagine a world where the client is greeted and seated and honoured and celebrated for their sparkling eyes and heavenly smile. Not fixed up because something is wrong with them.
Lovely Kathryn that you do not accept the apologies of the women coming to you for doing their make up. Indeed by doing that you would confirm the disrespect they portray for themselves. It must be be a blessing for the women that have a consult with you as you only confirm the beauty that radiates from the angel within.
Thank you Nvanhaastrecht yes the blessing is felt by us both as we are a reflection of each other. 🙂 🙂
Apology not accepted, so true. I have also made apologies about my looks and see it happen around me. When somebody makes a compliment to me or if I make a compliment to another woman, always these apologies. Not accepting it anymore 🙂
I have noticed this also Eleonora. When a sincere compliment is rejected and the person blocks it with apologies, the complimenter can often feel dismissed and even hurt.
Allowing others to appreciate us is so important. But it must come from us first. When we appreciate ourselves then we are more inclined to opens our hearts and feel the truth of the compliment 🙂
It’s an amazing feeling to put down the big ‘I’m not good enough because of the way I look’ stick. It’s really heavy! Putting it down there is a beautiful lightness that can be felt – a chance to stop and feel the truth in what you have expressed Kathryn, that we are all – that I am – deeply beautiful no matter what.
Thank you Kathryn for reminding us that we were born to be uniquely ourselves and not apologise for this.
All the time spent trying to disguise the beautiful face we have been given. The face that we show the world, our family, friends, people we pass in the street,the moments, the joy, the sadness, all etched on it. The warm smile when we greet another says so much more then the colour of our lipstick on that smile. We can never hide what we are feeling. Let’s use our makeup to highlight the unique features of our faces, that say to the world this is me.
Thanks Kathryn, it took me almost 50 years to look in the mirror and smile back at myself, because I love what I see and feel. As I learn to love myself more deeply, what I see in the mirror looks more and more lovely..
I love the part where you write when you put on make up, it is to celebrate yourself. And yes, smile your biggest smile and with that we show to the world who we truly are. I will take with me the staring in my eyes everyday to say a big Hello to me and then give me my biggest Smile 🙂
Just shared this article with a girl who does not like her hair, she talks often about others silky straight hair, this constant not feeling we are enough and worth celebrating as we are runs deep and starts early! Time to call time on this vicious cycle.
This blog really highlights that the current accepted way to be for woman is to constantly be bringing yourself down. The apologies that you wrote about feel so familiar but are so awful. Why should we as woman not think of ourselves as beautiful? Actually the world would be such a different place if we all would start to love ourselves and truly see that we are all beautiful!
Such a beautiful article. A call from a deep love for humanity. Time to feel and live the beauty and divinity equal in all.
our essence transcends any physical feature be it disfigured or classically beautiful becomes irrelevant when our essence is felt.
Today I’m choosing to practice number – 7. Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful.
Love this blog Kathryn. A great reminder of how important it is to appreciate ourselves.
And gorgeous for men to read too. Not enough of us see our innermost beauty, so same goes.
Looking in a mirror and seeing deep into my eyes I can feel the true me reflected back to me and feel the beautiful delicate woman that has always been there waiting for me to notice. By becoming aware of the beauty within me I am able to see the same beauty in others.
This is a very powerful blog and although I have read it before different things stood out for me this time and one thing in particular was when you wrote “apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough” – I love this line. How many times as women have we apologised for not looking our best, especially when going to the hairdressers. One example came to mind, apologising for not washing my hair when going to the hairdressers, knowing that they will have to wash it anyway. Thank you for sharing.
I am finding the line, ‘Know that you chose your looks for a reason,’ really interesting. I looked at my face the other day in mirrors where I could see 360 way around. I wondered why I had the features I do. growing up I thought a particular colouring and features were celebrated and I didn’t see my looks represented so I thought my features didn’t rate high enough to register – in the past I even choose a long-term partner who usually preferred the other look which was an awful thing I did to myself as I kept myself unsettled by thinking it would be easier for him to fall out of being attracted to me in favour of his preferred look!
What I am appreciating about this line is how it supports me to accept my looks. I’m not 100% sure how but the fact that they are my looks chosen by me somehow says to me that it’s up to me to accept them and not compare myself to those around me. It’s like I’m re-claiming my looks because they belong to me not to someone else’s judgement of them. My love and acceptance of myself counts.
I just read through this again for maybe the fifth time… It’s still as inspiring as the first time. Thank you again, Kathryn
this article and comments is simply powerful and bursting at the seems to share and talk about… Thank you Woman in Livingness for this opportunity to share and inspire, deeply appreciated and much needed.
I love your 9 reasons to smile = so true. Thank you Kathryn “When I see your face, I see the Angel living inside” A great reminder to us all that there is always an undeniable beauty inside.
I loved re-reading your blog Kathryn, as I can see how much you enjoy celebrating women in your every day life (your job, with friends/family) – it is so needed for someone to do that, as I read yesterday that 97% of women will have a self-criticising thought on any particular day. This number shocked me, but at the same time it wasn’t ‘over the top’ as I thought back to how much I used to criticise my own body, saying that ‘I need to lose weight’ and that I wasn’t beautiful etc. Thank you so much for showing a different way of how we can feel differently about our own beauty as well as communicate it differently to others around us – to stop the cycle of self-abuse within our friends and across generations.
Yes this blog is truly beautiful. A ‘classic’ on this site. It shines with the message of acceptance – self-acceptance and acceptance of others. We are all beautiful when we shine from our soul.
Amen, to that Rebecca!
Just beautiful to read this blog again, thank you for reminding us that every woman is as precious as gold.
Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.I absolutely love this line ,it is a subject we all need to explore more deeply.
I love this blog. It can not get dated however many time you read it.
Today the part that jumped up at me was:
“EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.”
The nine reasons to smile are a definite must on my dressing table for a daily read and reminder. Thank you Kathryn 🙂
It is so true how judging we can be as women towards ourselves and each other, causing a deep hurt. I love the way you have shown that we can accept our outer image for whatever it appears to look like, because it is always a reflection of the inner beauty that lives and is a part of us all.
Kathryn this is a truly beautiful blog, I am reminded of the moment a wise man told me that ‘what I see in the mirror is what I feel’ – I cried because i knew with every cell in my body how true this was. You have re-ignited this simple act of looking in the mirror, with a grand opportunity to open up an honest conversation with your soul – here there are no apologies only a absolute knowing that you are enough.
Loved re-reading your blog Kathryn, there is so much depth and honouring in your words. I am learning that appreciation is the key and then I no longer feel the need to apologise for who I am and that I am enough just being me.. It is so easy to dis-miss ourselves, write ourselves off as women yet we are such precious and glorious beings. I am slowly learning to appreciate myself and that any form of apology is no longer acceptable. Number 6 “See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.” I love this line because there was a time in my life when I would have not been able to accept this or even understand what it meant…….the more I get to know the real me the woman that has been hiding I can see that my face makes complete sense and there is no feeling or need to change it in any way……my face is me and the beauty lies within, the Angel I had dismissed for so long.
This is so beautiful, Kathryn. Your love of yourself and of others shines through your writing. I feel uplifted and inspired by reading your blog.
Thank you for your words. There is such a need on all women to appreciate deeply our beauty, it is so common to undermine oneself, it is so easy to see the beauty in others but not yourself as a woman! I have come from being convinced of my ugliness to starting to value myself and realizing that it all depends on how connected I am to myself inside, and then recently to appreciating myself. That is why I love your words and will remember to “never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful”.
This is a very special quote and it really resonated with me “See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.” Look and accept, love and share what we feel and see, I am learning to do this. Eyes are glorious, I love to look into peoples eyes and when there is a connection it feels amazing.
Gorgeous blog – thankyou Kathryn. “Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” I too have noticed this even more recently, at Universal Medicine presentations, where women are reflecting their inner beauty outwardly now for all to see.
I now really enjoy applying make-up to celebrate my face in all it’s beauty rather than seeing it as something I need to do to look a certain way or ‘make-up’ for a perceived lack of beauty. This is such great blog and so supportive for all women, thank you Kathryn.
I love this play on words Fiona with ‘make up’ – it really made me stop and wonder … when we wear make up what are we really making up? ….is it the real us or someone we want to be?
Gorgeous Kathryn, “we are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life”. This is eye-opening, as we if we are open to seeing this, we can trace this social education back to barbie dolls’ ‘ideal figure’ for example, or how in adverts in the media women are shown with touched up features to fit this image – the imposition of an ‘ideal’ image of sexiness/attractiveness, which in actual fact is at best unrealistic, is the source of a lot of people being self-conscious if they perceive that they don’t comply with society’s definition of beauty – how absurd, when everyone is beautiful in their own way as you have presented – and this coming from a makeup artist, someone whose job it is commonly seen to ‘fix’ how people look or ‘make them look beautiful’. Incredible
That phrase seems to sum up where we go wrong… “we are taught from birth that if we look pretty, attractive and sexy according to society’s definition, that there lies the answer to a successful life”. And yet how many women who tick all the above boxes are not content and happy within themselves. Surely life’s definition of success shouldn’t be how beautiful we look, or how big our houses are and what our pay packets are like? Success should be defined by the quality of love we hold, express and radiate.
Exactly – good point Rachel, in that even when a woman/person seems to fill all the ‘tick boxes’ for being successful in life, they still may not see themselves this way – always looking to improving their image
A truly lovely article to read over no over
Agreed Beverley such a joy to read again and again.
Love it, its a joy to read every time. It reminds me that no matter what i LOOK like, there is a gorgeous woman ready to shine out.
What a BEAUTIFUL blog and an amazing read… I have to share it with others! Thanks for writing.
I feel the same Rachel.
That’s lovely ““The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy”. (Yves Saint Laurent)
I would go further to say not passion but the deep wisdom and stillness that lies in all.
Awesome blog Kathryn, I love it when you write: Well, I am here to say to you that your apology is not accepted. Because in truth, when you apologise, you are saying you are not good enough.
Let’s stop looking at what we don’t like about our faces and focus on the beauty especially in our eyes.
I love all your points particularly 8 and 9. We do have the responsibility to show that it is very simple to be who we are naturally are from young. The cycle needs to be changed and introducing self worth and self love has turned my life around and how I feel about myself. I want to share this with all woman and girls worldwide.
This is a much needed article and something that the world needs to know about. Every single person in this world deserves to have this level of relationship with themselves and thus by giving ourselves moments where we stop and consider how we are living so that we can reflect and then make changes.
Women spend a lot of time apologising, even when there is no need. On receiving compliments, some dismiss them with “O this old thing – it was a sale bargain”, or similar – rather than honouring themselves and the giver of said compliment. Embarrassment in accepting compliments about their beauty is rife. I love your comment “EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” Yes – we are all beautiful, and the more we feel and accept this, the more it becomes visible on the outside.
True Sue, I wonder at what point in my life did I start to apologise for being me. I know as a young child I felt the joy of me. I know as a much older woman i am beginning to feel that joy again. And those middle lost years have faded away, been let go of, in the appreciation of who I am now.
Yes Sue, I agree. The more we feel and accept this the more it just shines out.
I accept the challenge to look into my eyes every day and love and accept my inner beauty
I love this Kathryn….. It’s almost like we don’t want to shine sometimes… I feel sometime I can apologise for the way I look almost fishing for compliments to make me feel better, which is just yuk. I know I am the only one that can make me feel better by appreciating me, warts and all.
This is a lovely read second time round. A great reminder for the world to smile more.
Second, third, the smile just gets broader, Thank you Kathryn.
Thank you Kathryn. I am going to practice no. 9. “Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance”.
“Often over the years I have noticed that EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.” Thank you Kathryn so many lies we have been told as women about how and what we should look like. This totally dismisses the amazing natural beauty that is in each one of us. When we connect to who we are we shine for all to see and that is true beauty.
Yes Samantha connecting to who we are and smiling from that place is so confirming and gorgeous.
I loved number 7 About the smile. I find it beautiful seeing all women smiling from who they truly are and you can feel the joy in them.
it is true and the joy is magnetic when you allow.
Wow, this is a big one. A couple of years ago I started looking at myself in the mirror and actually looking into my own eyes instead of doing my ‘mirror face’ in judgement. That progressed into actually saying hello – connecting deeply with my own self. I have not done this as consistently as I could and this blog is a reminder of how beautiful it is and how that is there for me all the time – inspiring. “See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.” – so powerful. Yes. THANK YOU.
Very true Jenifer, it is amazing how far away we have become as a society to look at ourselves in the mirror without actually seeing how truly beautiful we are. We have be bombard with so much of the what we should does and how we should look that we have lost what it is to just be ourselves and enjoy that, with no expectation on ourselves just moments with ourselves that we take with us all day long.
That is powerful Jenifer, I agree with Amina as well – I do not look at myself in the mirror and simply see how beautiful I am, instead I often find myself drawn to imperfections – all outer external looks rather than looking deeply into my eyes. Something I will bring more focus to now when I look in the mirror.
yes it is insane when you stop and look at what is going on and that we don’t appreciate our own beauty but instead analysis and pick apart what we don’t like about ourselves that doesn’t meet the expectations of what the world has created us to be. Even writing that I can feel the heavy pressures of it all… So to choose to stop and feel the gorgeous, tender, precious beautiful woman that I am and then look at myself in the mirror and see that pouring out of me – all those pressures can not be seen or felt because in my connection to how amazing I feel there is no room for them.
Its not just not seeing the beauty but also about not wanting to connect and feel how we are living, I know I actively avoided mirrors for this reason, now I too can have no problem looking into my gorgeous eyes.
Yes Jenifer seeing the Angel within …. consistently is so powerful.
I absolutely love this blog Kathryn, it has power and love that increases for me each time I read it.
Simply beautiful blog Kathryn for everyone to read is a must. I agree a smile from within is deeply touching and shows everyones true beauty as does the depth in our eyes.If we could only all see this for ourselves there would be no self doubt or apologies necessary.Thank you for your sharing
Thank you Tricia and Everyone for all your loving and inspiring comments.
The opportunity we ALL have to let go of what is not true … to then let the Angel within shine through … is daily.
Very true. We definitely as women apologise too much. Every woman is beautiful we simply have to allow ourselves to see it for ourselves.
Yes this is true Meg, see and feel.
yes it is true that all Woman are beautiful – but until you see that beauty in oneself how can you see it in another first. Learning to see my exquisite beauty has changed my life completely.
A truly confirming article
Just for a moment, imagine that there are no mirrors and the only reflection is in the eyes of others in how they see you. Would we all see only the true person before us? I feel we would see the amazingness of everyone, everywhere. We have mirrors, but we can start by seeing the amazingness of everyone, everywhere, because we know the beauty in the world is in all of us.
I just love number 7 – ‘Smile your big smile from who you truly are and never apologise for being uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful.’ A super blog that reminds me to treasure and celebrate my uniqueness.
I feel there are many layers to unfold from this article because as we find a layer of apology and expose that, others then become apparent to understand as well. A very supportive and healing piece for people to read.
A lovely article truly confirming we are. All beautiful
This is the most beautiful and confirming article. Can’t help smiling from deep within me. Words to be read by all women young and old often.
In the past Kathryn, I would not have understood what you meant, or at least not believed it. As you say society’s definition of beauty has a deep and lasting effect on us from very young. So I feel that many women reject the idea that their beauty comes from within, and will dismiss it if it is suggested to them. So when you say we can be role models for our children by living the beauty that we are from inside of us, that is a role model for any person at any age. Seeing the inner beauty of other women helps me to find my own, and when I live that then others can see it and wonder, and ask how this came to be and feel inspired to change too.
Kathryn – what a wonderful blog to come back to and read again – how easily I forget your wise words! It’s a great and very valid point you make when you observe that our apologies as women come from us not feeling enough or good enough. I recognise this in me so much! It’s so debilitating in many ways to feel this and I know that it’s up to me to change this pattern of apologising for simply being me. Reading your blog is a great and much needed reminder for me – thank you
Kathryn, it is so true what you share, “We compare, compete and comply. With our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends”. This has been such a norm for us women as we have grown up and I am so much aware how it has caused a lot of upsets, hurts and pain amongst all of my family and friends. Often never spoken about and just buried inside in the fear of rejection or reaction.
Katherine, since reading your blog I have been taking step 9 into my day. To take the time to look in the mirror into my own eyes and accept whatever I see is becoming very healing as part of my self-acceptance. What you say is true. The more and more I take time to accept and appreciate what I see the more joy and beauty is reflected back at me through those eyes. Thank you Katherine.
What a glorious article and why an apology is not accepted.
Such a lovely article a real joy to read
Thank you Kathryn – some very simple and supportive tips here. As a woman I became used to covering up with makeup. My skin was not great around 16/17 – and so I learnt how to create a disguise. Sometimes I would even stay in my room all day because I was so terrified of my family seeing my face the way it was. But what that means is it totally kept me hidden from the world.
And at that stage, I had all but neglected my inner beauty.
So it’s refreshing to read this blog now, as I sit here as a 28yr old woman, and appreciate whats inside. And also cut this myth of age = ugly. Again – purely aesthetic in its accusations.
I love your article especially the mention of make up. It’s never been something I have really embraced – there was a part of me that wanted to be accepted warts and all. I had never really accepted my own face and felt I used make up to hide this fact so I always felt slightly false. I love your line regarding the application of make up to, ‘do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it.’ Next time I apply it I shall remember this and really celebrate my face. Thank you
Such a lovely blog Kathryn thank you. ” When I look I feel your essence in there “. We all have this innate beauty within. I find the more I connect to the beauty within the more I see and feel it in others.
Thank you Kathryn for a lovely reminder of the beauty we all hold within. I loved No 8 on the 9 reasons to smile, “Teach your baby daughters to love their own reflection by accepting and loving your own first. You have a responsibility to change the cycle.” so very true.
This is a deeply touching article, thank you Kathryn for sharing your observations and inspiration on how we can be with ourselves. It touches so deeply as every word is so true, we are all gorgeous when we smile from within.
I agree Vanessa we are all gorgeous when we smile from within, we light up and radiate a beauty that is more than skin deep.
It is crazy Mary, there can be such joy, and fun, when we celebrate each other as beautiful women. Go girls- we’re gorgeous!
I keep coming back to Number 6 ‘See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.’ and knowing that by seeing the Angel within ourselves first and then within others, we can begin to change the world.
I absolutely love this article thank you so much for sharing it
Kathryn I love your blog. Love it. It’s so so true about people’s faces. They change completely when they let their inner beauty shine out and that’s what others feel and respond to – not the perfect dress or nose. What a beautifully powerful reminder to not apologize because, even on dull days when I feel a little overcast, I am still beautiful – a few clouds may have just got in the way but I am still there shining.
This is so gorgeous. A gift to everyone who reads it. Our constant need to apologise, especially the stream of apologies that come forth from so many women, indicates that there is something deeply wrong with how we are being raised. What a difference it would make if we were to celebrate how we look every day instead of being sorry for not living up to some unobtainable ideal!
I love this blog. I love its power. I love the notion of “apology not accepted”. It got me thinking about the wider scope of this. Not just within our appearances. How often does any sentence, encounter, inter-action start with the same. An apology. An instant reduction of our self. An instant inequality imposed on the exchange. Which is also a very subtle attack/defence mechanism. “If I get the first apology out then they can’t come at me!” Wouldn’t it be gorgeous if, EVERYWHERE, we stopped apologising. I mean how often do you hear people apologising for stuff that wasn’t even their fault, that they could do nothing about!! When I hear that I have started to reply with “Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault, it’s fine”. And it makes such a difference. You can see them immediately relax back in to themselves. That is just one small example. But it is everywhere. And it is all fed by exactly what you are high-lighting in this brilliant blog. So, yes, I am right with you. Less apologies. More of the gorgeousness that we all already and always are.
I agree Otto. Not exclusive to but in the Asian culture, apology is something that is used culturally almost before anything. But these apologies do not feel apologetic. They are a protection and a stubbornness to not be in our fullness. These apologies feel rather arrogant! When I hear such apologies and respond with “don’t apologise” sometimes the response can be violent, as a lifetime of cultural identification is being questioned.
Thank you Kathryn, lovely article. As a teenager I remember the day when my aunt gave me some self tan lotion because she was not using it any longer. It went a bit orange on my face. When it went off, I could not bare having my skin looking so white and started using my mum’s foundation for a good four months, people were giving really odd look and laughing at me. I never felt so embarrassed but kept putting it on. One day we had a theater at college and saw a guy wearing foundation like I was and I could see that it looked really strange and started to understand quite a few things after this.
What a great blog, thank you! It is extraordinary how much we women have apologised for almost everything – for coming through the door, for being in the way, for the state of our houses, and yes, for just about everything about our appearance. It turns that around when we learn to appreciate ourselves and how beautiful that you can feel the essence within, noticing that ‘EVERYONE is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves… their soul… no matter what they look like.’
I work on a beauty counter and experience a lot of these comments from women. It feels like there is an epidemic of ‘not being good enough’. It feels very sad that women are so unhappy with the way they look and so desperate to stay looking young that they will literally buy almost anything that’s on the market that gives them a glimmer of hope. It seems it is the emptiness and desperation that keeps them from feeling and acknowledging their true beauty.
Your first paragraph of what you see in a woman’s face is so profound, Kathryn. It’s made me look in the mirror in much more detail at my own face, and study other people’s faces too. It’s so true, sometimes I can see hope in my face, sometimes judgement of myself. I always used to be critical when looking at my face, but now I make a point of looking into my eyes first and foremost to find what’s happening. It’s an interesting journey, thank you.
There is a lot of truth in this Gill, we see what we want to see and if we have a negative self image then we will see that image when we look. The beauty industry for women should support women to see themselves as beautiful and not hold them to the ransom of a set look.
That’s true Gill – our eyes can tell powerful stories.
“Apology not accepted.” This would stop anyone in their tracks if given in response to one of those comments we loosely throw away, like “I look a mess today”. As you say why would you be apologizing for who you are and the way you look, we need to learn to embrace the beauty we behold. Secondly, if there was an element of truth to why you looked less ‘you’ today than yesterday, how honouring to be able to share and appreciate why this is so and be able to look back and pin point what happened along the way and led you to take a little less care of yourself than normal. Either way is both loving and supportive.
That second part is amazing, rather than saying sorry in the ‘I am less’ manner by approaching it in this way it opens up the support to be more. ‘I am apologising (either in feeling or verbally), what part of me is feeling less today?’ and if so ‘I can choose to work towards not feeling that way. How do I feel is the best way to not feel less?’ opening up the experimentation to being with ourselves differently.
The simple proposal to apply your make up to compliment your face and everything that you are, rather than mask what you want to hide, makes my heart sing. It feels so expansive and is such a different way of looking at the cosmetics industry and what is on offer to us than that which we have grown accustomed to. Gorgeous.
Yes, imagine if the products were designed, manufactured, packaged and promoted all to support a woman to compliment her face and all that she is…that would be a True Beauty industry.
I love this 9 reasons for women to smile, Kathryn thank you. Acceptance has been a huge issue for me, but I can see and feel my innermost beauty when I smile a smile from within, and love to feel it from others too.
Awesome blog Kathryn, I love your line ‘ everyone is beautiful when they smile from the deepest part of themselves…their soul’. It really doesn’t matter whether you are good looking or not, young or old, wrinkly or smooth, when you smile from your soul the beauty just shines out, so you are right, apologies are not accepted.
Well said Tim
Beautifully said Tim
So true. Beautifully expressed Tim.
A smile from deep within, it is so great to see and feel the beauty in everyone, and to bring that understanding and appreciation to people Kathryn is such a gift. It feels like there is the start of a movement to bring back appreciation to ourselves just as we are, and not be beholden to the industries that try and shape and define who we are and how we should be, look and act.
The change will come when I, we and women worldwide choose not to compare and compete with each other.
Begin to honour our innermost beauty with love and self acceptance as we are.
Then, following generations will learn by our example.
Agreed Kathryn, time to show our passion !
‘The change will come when I, we and women worldwide choose not to compare and compete with each other.’ – Agreed Wendy, and we all have equal responsibility in changing this.
Thank you Kathryn – I enjoy re-reading this blog over and over. The key for true healing is in our acceptance.
I love points – “9 Reasons for Women to Smile.” and “Show us your passion.”
Kathryn, I can really relate to the changing way I have applied my makeup over the years…”When you apply makeup – do it to celebrate your beautiful face, not to mask it”. I remember as a young teenage school girl how I started to rely on my makeup to feel complete. It gave me confidence and made me believe I looked ok with it on, in other words; I believed I did not look lovely without it and that I had less confidence without wearing makeup. In fact even at that early age (or should I say especially at that early age) I did not want to leave the house unless I had applied makeup. Over time and more recently as I have begun to appreciate myself for more than just my looks and what I can achieve, I am able to have a different relationship with wearing make up, where applying it confirms my beauty rather than supposedly creating it.
Thank you Kathryn for telling all women to stand up and be the amazing and beautiful person they have always been. The phrase I hear daily is “sorry” on the phone, on the street and work, from people I don’t know. I like to respond to them ‘never be sorry’ I get a lot of strange looks, but if I can plant a seed in just one person a day?…..
Loved this SJ, sorry is a word we use far too often!
Very true Catherine, I really love coming back to this blog. Very inspiring indeed.
It is such a beautiful touchstone to come back to.
I loved reading this Kathryn, it made me smile. There is nothing more lovely than when someone genuinely smiles at you from inside, with no sense of holding back.
So true Julie, a smile from deep within radiates such joy.
Thank you Kathryn. I love the quote by Yves Saint Laurent and your step 5. I know I always feel my beauty when I allow my passion for life to shine. I will take this into my day :0)
This is a beautiful blog and gorgeous to read Kathryn – thank you for reminding us of our innate beauty and that we are so much more
Thank you Kathryn for sharing some beautiful insights, and for not accepting women, with or without makeup, for anything less than we all are – Beautiful!
Thank you Kathryn. When I was younger and had horrible acne, felt ashamed, and like crawling into a closet to avoid any contact with people, I would look into my eyes sometimes for a long time, and there I would see how nothing can take away that inner beauty coming from my eyes. It made the acne look…well…..superficial!
Such a wonderful moment of recognition Michael – you had a moment of choosing what you actually saw when you looked at yourself. Do you let your eyes stay “stuck” on the surface problem, or go deep to the beautiful, radiant man inside? You made the choice to look deeply, and by sharing that you offer us all, as Kathryn has done with this blog, an opportunity to look deeper to the beauty we truly are.
I felt the same Michael, with my own acne. It was as if when I looked at that, my eyes were invisible, but when I looked into my eyes – my acne was invisible. Now it’s as simple as choosing which one gets my focus 🙂
I love what you say, Kathryn, about the smile, and then the 9 reasons to smile. As I read them I start to smile and appreciate myself, and the smile comes from deep inside. It seems very simple. I often look in the mirror in the morning I think I look a mess and have critical thoughts, but now I do Sacred Movement ( which supports us to reconnect to the quality of Sacredness that all women hold innately within, as presented by Natalie Benhayon) every morning in front of the mirror and start to see my face change, and by the end I am smiling at myself! And the smile is in my whole body, every cell.
Beautiful blog Kathryn. It brings a big smile to my face when I feel the truth you share in….”9 Reasons for Women to Smile”.
Thank you Kathryn for your really lovely sharing of our natural beauty from with in reflected in our eyes, my eyes, everyone’s eyes reaching the depths of our soul, Heaven and God within us all.
Connecting to ourselves by loving ourself, our face, our eyes and all we see if we allow this, is true beauty to be celebrated cherished and adored. I agree there is no apology for this just acceptance of our smile from within.
That we are all beautiful when we smile from who we are is so true. We give so much attention and focus on how our faces and bodies look on the outside without realising that what’s going on inside is showing as well – all our hurts, worries, emotions are written all over our faces. Rather than giving our power away to some ideal from the world, perhaps we are better off dealing with our issues and therefore letting our natural beauty shine through?
Yes Andrew, all that is underneath is more and more apparent to me all the time. I feel it more, now, than what is presented on the surface.
If we deal with our hurts we wont feel the need to try to make it all about the surface…because our inner beauty will be so much bigger than any superficial screen.
I know this to be true as I can feel and see it happening in myself and Kathryn and many others!
Yes I agree Joabillings dealing with our hurts is key. Then the inner beauty that is so much grander then we realise can be felt and shared. There will be no apology then. 😊
This is so true Andrew. Our faces reveal absolutely what is going on within.
I absolutely love this blog. It really put into perspective for me how much importance as women we put on our looks, and the sadness in many women about getting old and the ugliness they feel. I agree with you: everyone is beautiful, and such apologies should not be accepted. Deeply touching – thank you.
I agree Meg, I love this blog too. I put my hand up and say I have looked in the mirror and seen lines appear seemingly overnight, not always loving the face that looks back at me, but this article puts it all into perspective and yes, it is deeply touching. Thank you Kathryn.
Very true Meg, this is a great article and one that really high-lights how much we as women have to celebrate just with ourselves, and how using something playful like make-up is a great way to enjoy this connection.
Well Said Kathryn and Meg, everyone is beautiful.
Meg I agree, everyone is beautiful and such apologies should not be accepted.
I do too Meg. I’m not sorry about what I look like, wrinkles and all, because this is who I am, and I love that when I look in the mirror I see my beloved friend
So beautiful Catherine.This level of self acceptance is so important. Why don’t we all see oursleves as our own ‘beloved friend’?
Yes Mary I agree. it’s one thing to feel attractive when we are younger and another to age with grace and feel beautiful as we get older. It’s all about our choices along the way.
An older woman who knows her inner beauty and is not afraid to express this beauty is powerful, sexy and deeply inspiring. ✨
Thank you Kathryn, for claiming the beauty we all have within. This blog reminds me of the song “Smile From Who You Are” by Glorious Music which, like this, is a testament to the deep love and light that shines out from every face when we accept ourselves for who we are and what we bring to the world.
Yes Janet this song you mention ‘smile from who you are’ by Glorious Music is so very beautiful. Self acceptance is key. ✨
….a smile from within says so much more than what we may accept on first appearance. Thank you for not accepting the face we put out to the world and feeling the deeper woman within.
What a gorgeous, inspiring blog. The rhythm and pace was lovely to experience and so much clarity. Indeed let us look into our own eyes everyday and be loving and gentle with ourselves and celebrate the true wonder that we are. I am enjoying wearing makeup occasionally to celebrate and be playful. Thank you for this confirming, supportive and celebratory blog.
And me.
Wow – this is full power Kathryn. I just love the way you say NO to accepting anything less, and give such a strong encouragement for women to love their faces just the way they are. I was also touched by your encouragement to look into our own eyes for a few moments each day – I don’t do that nearly as often as I could.
Thanks Simonwilliams8 I encourage all Women to love their faces. Our eyes are like stars and connecting with them at least once a day is our way to feel the greater plan and our own unique expression.
Wow, so beautifully well said. Beauty IS more than skin deep. Reading your article has just given me a 10th reason to smile, from inside.
Thank you for your great article Kathryn, its so easy to relate to and showing another way to see ourselves, delightful.
As I started to read your blog this evening, I felt the tension and anxiety in my face melt away. I love the 9 reasons for women to smile and have pondered on many of them at different times. What a pleasure to read them all again.
This is poetry Kathryn, not just because of your beautiful expression, but because of the truth you are offering all women. You have called out the apology…the apology that we even exist.
This ought to be published in a women’s magazine, shared with the world, so that more women can start the claim the angel within.
So so true Rachel, I completely agree.
So true Kathryn that when we smile from our ‘angel within’ we are all beautiful. Our faces light up and there is an ease and openness about that laugh and smile. This was such a timely reminder. Thank you.
I found your blog truly beautiful. Often we as women can’t see the beauty we are and, like you said, apologise for it. It is beautiful that you are in a profession which allows you to help women, who might be coming to you for make up to hide or fit in society, see their natural, innate beauty and work from there. Thank you.
Kathryn, I have just re-read your beautiful blog again and I am smiling from within. It is simply gorgeous to read and re-read thank you.
This is a beautiful blog that is simple yet very inspiring. I have never worn make up and felt I was not woman enough over the years because of it. Fast forward today I Know who I am and Make no apology. We should definitely celebrate our beauty as women😊
Love it Kathryn 😄
Thank you Kathryn this is such a Joy to read. The truth of your words is so refreshing. We are bombarded with so many false and destructive concepts of beauty. As Ariana says your words offer true medicine for all women, and men. An article I Will read again and again. Divine ❤
Wow! This is a truly beautiful blog Kathryn – an absolute blessing to read. Apologising for the way we look and trying to mask our faces with makeup is something that happens much too often with women nowadays… This kind of blog would be a complete game changer if publicised in magazines or shown to girls at school/women in their workplaces. Can you imagine if this was the next feature article in Vogue or Marie Clare… It would change people lives!
I so agree with you Susie Williams that if this blog could be publicised in magazines or girls at school and women in workplaces, it would be a complete game changer.
I know if I had come across this during my ‘got to have plastic surgery’ days I would have had something to ponder on.
Thank You Kathryn for writing and sharing – how blessed women are to know you and to read this once again is a true blessing.
An absolutely stunning blog, I cried throughout reading it and now I can’t stop smiling.
Slowly I am learning to accept that I am ”uniquely, strangely, oddly, classically beautiful”. This blog is a wonderfully clear statement that I am beauty-full in my own style, no one can do beauty like me yet everyone’s beauty is equally amazing. Thank you.
Leighoflight no one can do beauty like you! This is gorgeous and I agree. We all do our own unique external beauty so well and this is to be celebrated and cherished. Thank you.
Thank you Kathryn, what an awesome blog. I love what you share, and can feel how we’ve been held hostage to our ideas of how we need to look or be, rather than celebrating and accepting the amazingness we are, and we truly are amazing – your no 6 “See the Angel within you. Your face will begin to make loving sense.” I never truly considered that, and it makes so much sense.
What a whopper of a blog!
It just goes to show how the person with the harshest, lowest, most critical opinion of our appearances is quite often ourselves. I remember in my teens I would use the thickest concealers and foundations (which were really more like skin coloured paint!) to desperately cover everything I thought was wrong with my face.
I had an experience where I just didn’t feel like wearing make-up one day – so despite what I thought people may think or say… I went to work bare-faced and feeling naked. The best part – the day went really well. Nothing I feared would happen did, and nothing was any different. When I got home that day I felt relieved that I didn’t have to wear my usual ‘face’ – and it saved me some time not having to take it all off!
Thank you for putting it so simply Kathryn, everything you’ve shared just makes sense!
This is awesome Cheryl. You allowed yourself the opportunity to remove the mask and in doing so freed yourself from your own self made prison. We are our own critics and the first step is self acceptance. Then the magic begins. We begin to feel the beauty within and no longer feel to mask it. We start to celebrate our own natural beauty ✨
Thank You Kathryn for bringing out this blog which is making sense.
I have been to professional make-up artists including one who worked with our Royal family. What happened was there was no connection to me and what I felt or asked for. They did what they thought would be good to get my ‘professional photos’ and I was reminded that some of my features would be airbrushed and no one would notice so not to get stressed about it. All I remember was the whole experience left me feeling even more empty and self critical and I had bought loads of make up that I never ever used.
Looking back at those photos today was the eyes – it was like I was not there and the Truth is I wasn’t.
I was checked out and living in a fantasy world and spending vast amounts of money in hope to change my face and make me feel better insided. It did not work.
I now wear make up when I feel to and its not everyday.
At last I can now sit at the hairdressers and not squirm but look deep into my eyes and love what I see and feel. My eyes have clarity and depth and beauty I used to long for. The whites of my eyes are whiter than white and I get loads of compliments about this and realised this has come from the way I now feel about myself after making new choices to deeply love and care for myself.
Your clients are lucky to know you and have you as their inner image consultant.
Thank You Kathryn for this powerfull blog. I Love it.
Thank you beautiful Bina for sharing your experience with a professional makeup artist. Often if the artist is not first connected to there own inner beauty then they struggle to see the beauty in others. When they look at there model or client they see someone that they need to fix and help rather then honour and celebrate. Had the artist first connected with themselves and then with you the feeling may have been very different that day.
What can we do? How can we change this attitude?
The more we have claimed our beauty the more we can find the opportunity to speak up and express how we feel. Then we can begin to break the behaviour.
This is incredible – I urge you to send it to all of the fashion and women’s magazines out there, it commands a place right there next to all the advertising and ‘fixers’ we seek. It is beautiful and every woman deserves the opportunity to read and connect to all that is shared.
I agree, it would be fantastic to see this as a feature in women’s magazines
I’m with you all the way Kathryn – so true and all your 9 points are a must for all woman and men
So simple, so clear, I loved your writing. Thank you Kathryn for sharing this gem.
Loved this Kathryn. Your clarity and depth is awesome. Very well timed. Thank you.
Amazing blog Kathryn, amazing and absolute truth in the words you share. As Marcia and a few others have said, this is to be sent to mothers, daughters, female work colleagues, girlfriends – all women. It’s so beautiful. I’ll keep coming back to reading this. Thank you so much.
Yes thank you Katerina. We can share the message in this blog with everyone that we connect with simply by claiming ourselves first. Then we inspire others. It’s as easy as that ✨
I love the truth you have shared with us all Kathryn. This piece needs to be shared and circulated in a big way! Thank you.
ABSOLUTELY!
This is exquisite, Kathryn. May we all truly see the beauty of the angel within and let ourselves shine un-apologetically.
What a gift to be able to sit with this blog this morning. Thank you for not accepting our apologies and reminding us all of how beautiful we are.
This is a beautiful blog Kathyrn… thank you for sharing your beauty with us.
Thank you Kathryn for connecting to your ‘inner-most beauty’ and sharing this beautiful reflection with us all. It is such a joy to read this… I look forward to sharing it with other women in my life and reading it often myself as a beautiful reminder of the innate beauty that is within us ALL…
Thank you Kathryn. How affirming for us all that you who have studied so many faces, see what you do. I enjoy each and every face that people show me in life and even in the little thumbnail photos on this blog site. The faces say so much more than just names.
Judith how interesting are the faces in photos? They say so much and have a such powerful story. Not always joyful. Not always clear. You can feel it in the eyes. Face gazing is a way we can lovingly read each other and feel where we are at. It allows for more understanding of others and a deeper appreciation for the person in the photo.
Thank you Kathryn – a delicious and scrumptious read! A reminder to us all to truly look, see and feel the beauty within ourselves and in doing we cannot but see the beauty in others.
Yes Eunice a true reflection ✨
Thanks Kathryn, beautifully written.
I have noticed how these days men too are increasingly judging themselves and their appearances. What you have so lovingly and beautifully written is true for everyone – men and women. Breaking this self-critical cycle supports us all – men and women. The more we recognise our own beauty the more we see the true beauty in others and are able to reflect it back to them. Thank you for such a precious reminder.
Yes Nicola I agree. It is the same for men, women and even children. So many of us are self critical. We seem to compare and so then starts the judgement. Recognising our own beauty is key to seeing it in others. A beauty full reflection. ✨
Very Beautiful Kathryn, a joy to read! Thank you.
Thank you Kathryn, there are tears in my eyes as I write – I have so often spoken and acted from a position of not feeling Good Enough. Thank you for reminding me to see and feel the angel within.
Kathryn, this is so very beautiful and honouring of all women. I felt my heart soften and any judgement I have for myself fall away as I read your blog. Deep within me I feel a beauty that doesn’t need to be recognised or accepted in any way by others. All women I feel have this as at the core of their essence.
Paulina you are so right. This beauty within needs nothing and is actually the same quality within us all. Extraordinary. ✨
Beautiful Kathryn – so much beauty in your post, I cried. Thank you for reminding us to connect to our inner beauty and celebrate the love inside. You are so correct, when we smile from who we truly are, even the plainest face is transformed into the most wonderful being in the world.
I love your post Kathryn… thank you so much. It also brought tears to my eyes to feel the beauty and truth in your words. Beauty is so much more than what meets the eye. Self-acceptance from within, no matter what we look like is key.
Ariana I agree with you. Self acceptance is not more or less than who we are but simply ALL of who we are. Beautiful 😊
Yes, We are Beautifullll!!! Thank you so much for this strong reminder and supporting words. To appreciate ourselves and see our beauty is so powerful and lovely.
thankyou Kathryn this is so beautyfull with a big smile Fiona
I was touched by what your wrote Kathryn. Particularly no.9 “Spend a moment each day staring into your own eyes – see your innermost beauty with love and self-acceptance”. It’s that light that lives within every one of us that your words remind me to cherish.
Yes Joseph the light that lives in each one of us is our true beauty. The face and body are simply housing for this light and have an expiry date. However if we do not honour the house then we begin to apologise. There must be a balance of acceptance and appreciation.✨
A wow from me too Kathryn, we forget that it doesn’t matter what we look like, when we shine from within our beauty radiates out. I no longer look at the mirror and judge myself,when I look tired, I just say I look tired and know that there is something in my life that I can look at.
Loved no 6 ‘See the Angel within you your face will begin to make loving sense’…..when I look in the mirror I will remind myself of these loving words.
This is stunningly gorgeous, I feel the Love and the way you hold and cherish all women in their beauty Kathryn, and I have to 100% agree, ALL women are so very beautiful when they smile from deep within, nothing compares to this type of raw beauty.
A smile from deep within and shared ignites the recognition we have with another person. It simply confirms a knowingness that we are all divinely connected.
Kathryn – this is amazing! Thank you.
I just returned from a shopping trip and the young woman at Coles had the most divine smile; she was quite gorgeous. Half of her face had some severe deformities but it was her smile and her eyes that I saw, not the difference between the two sides of her face. So yes, I witnessed first hand today of what you lovingly expressed. Thank you s x
What you have shared is amazing Sarah, the beauty and connection you must have brought to that woman by seeing her beauty and not the deformities is enormous, especially if she might be used to being seeing for nothing but her deformities. We could possibly bring this to people who do not believe in their own beauty, by seeing it and accepting it in ourselves first, and then in them.
I’m smiling at me & you 🙂
Wow Kathryn thanks on behalf of all women…this brings tears to my eyes. What a fabulous re-write of the way things have always been…but don’t need to be anymore.
Absolutely Jenny.