by JK, England
While I was having a long bath this morning, I took the time to appreciate how different my body feels lately. When I washed my feet, the hard skin that used to be on the balls of my feet has completely gone, the skin on my legs and arms and body is very soft and gentle, and my hair feels much thicker, shinier and healthier than it ever has. What I also felt was how much I can feel inside my body, and how sensitive (in a great and tender way) my body is to many things, such as the temperature of my bath water (not too hot or too cold) and the products I use on my body (for example, the ‘organic’ shampoo and conditioner I used today felt harsh and unloving – so I have binned it). And how I love to give myself ample time to take a long bath when I feel to. Boy, have I come a long way!
Fifteen years ago I was a junior black-belt kick boxer. I also cycled up mountains, did 100’s of press-ups and sit-ups as part of my kickboxing training, and regularly went jogging. I was, at that time, an associate director of a large healthcare organisation – and I used to turn up for work with bruises and broken toes (from the kickboxing). For anyone who doesn’t know me, I’m just about 5 foot tall, and very slight in build; I’ve pretty much always been this build, give or take a few pounds. I used to train with 6 foot-plus men for kickboxing – very few women got to junior black belt. I had a busy working life, working 50 to 60 hours a week and driving a round trip of 60 miles a day. I used to get so tired I couldn’t sleep, so I would buy a curry from the local Indian take-away and eat it to make me sleepy enough to sleep. I also ate chocolate and drank green tea to ‘pep’ me up when I felt tired during the day.
To many I was successful, with a great job, plenty of money, great home, sporty car, ‘high levels of fitness’, and lots of friends, as well as always having a boyfriend or partner. I was though, suffering deeply inside – from constant worrying and anxiety attacks (one of which happened in a restaurant in the middle of a meal, whereby I had to be taken to the local Accident & Emergency Department). I also had painful periods, so much so that after taking tons of painkillers – and where nothing touched the pain, I would go into the local Accident & Emergency Department to see if they could do anything about the pain. I also had regular throat infections, rhinitis, occasional bouts of asthma, and hay fever.
Now… here I am in the bath, feeling how tender I feel. I love my sleep (I sleep well), all of my ailments have subsided, even the painful periods, and anxiety is rare for me now. As I appreciate myself in the bath, I ask myself – how did this happen? How did I change from the kickboxing, stoic, busy manager, who couldn’t sleep without something to send her to sleep, to who I am today? How did I get to this level of gentleness, self-kindness, tenderness, and stillness that I feel myself to be most days? What triggered me to start to make these changes?
Firstly, I was facing a crisis in my own health and realised I could not go on in the way I was living. From that, I was searching for support and through an herbalist I consulted, I was introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I had tried meditating and many other modalities, such as shiatsu – none of which had really changed how I felt, or changed my ailments. When I met Serge and other Universal Medicine Practitioners was when I first realised that it was possible to make real changes in my life. I realised this because Serge Benhayon and the others offered me true inspiration. I could feel that they had made many changes in their own lives and were today loving, tender, gentle, self-kind, and deeply self-honest: this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself. And so, gently over the last few years, I have made many small changes to the way I am living – whether they be dietary changes, or exercising by gently walking and swimming, or ensuring I have the rest and sleep that I need by adjusting my busy schedule to allow myself time to wind down at the end of the day, and also by taking a rest day at the weekends. And little by little, by making these changes, I have felt my body changing as the various ailments dissipate and melt away.
What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself. And, as I sit here now in the bath, I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt in my life. That is something to celebrate with a long bath!
Women in Livingness Blog 
JK always an inspiring read! What this has shown me today is the amount of pressures we can place on our body and not realise that these things may be behind symptoms in our body as we see it as ‘normal life’, particularly as that is what is reflected by everyone around us. A lot to consider in terms of listening more deeply to my body and seeing what else may be impacting me to change, to allow more self love and self care into my life. Thank you, great read!
Appreciation of the self-loving choices we make deepen the preciousness and tenderness that we feel in every choice we make.
If you Jane, have been able to make that 180 degrees turn, everyone can, as many and many more people are doing it by restoring self care in our lives. Self care is definitely the answer to a truly healthy life.
Self love is the medicine that our bodies need, and the disconnection from this love is what is responsible for all the woes humanity faces, taking the time out of our busy day to self nurture, feeling the changes that have come into our lives along with the appreciation that this brings.
This is a beautiful commitment to yourself, definitely important to appreciate yourself in this, ‘ What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself.’
When we are tender with ourselves in this way we value ourselves so much more, we appreciate and have a great respect for the body which allows us an ever deepening quality in our expression in the world.
When a child offers us tender moments we melt so why don’t we offer the same quality to ourselves?
It’s hard to believe now that you are the same person doing all of those things that would have required you to be very hard on yourself and others. It just goes to show how making self-loving choices can and does change our lives beyond measure.
I too once had a black belt – not in kickboxing but in karate. I got my black belt at the age of fifteen. Looking back I feel a huge sadness at what I did to my body. There was plenty of encouragement at the time and I was commended for my commitment and discipline, but there was nothing commendable at all about shutting off from my delicateness.
I was reminded here of the way I used to sit kneeling back on my heels when I was in Japan and how years of assuming this pose left areas on my feet with very hard skin. And other times when I have sat in meditation so long that I have had had pins and needles and even times when my legs have gone numb. Gradually over the years my skin has become soft again and now that I meditate for only short periods of time and usually sitting in a chair, with a conscious awareness of my posture, or even lying in bed, my body is feeling much more like it’s natural self again.
In a world where we are caught up in doing, doing, doing to feel like we are of value of any worth, we override the tenderness of who we are and the innate power that resides within us already. We are so much more that everything we think we have to be, and all this is simply just waiting for us to connect, explore and celebrate the incredible magnificence (which is out of this world) and everything that we are.
That preciousness we feel within ourselves cannot ever be compared to any of the lures in the physical world to be recognized. Absolutely no comparison, once I have felt this, there is no turning back but an unending process to discard all that has been accepted but is not true from the past to reveal truth.
The hardness of such lures of the physical world serves to numb the pain we feel from having turned away from our preciousness.
It is quite incredible just how sensitive and delicate our bodies are and what a joy to read how much you really celebrate and appreciate that within your self now. What a glorious sensitivity to nurture and one that is much more effective in guiding our way each day as opposed to kick boxing our way through life!
By letting of the protection and hardness, how beautiful to appreciate the tenderness you have now come to, Jane. Something definitely to celebrate… coming back to the true you.
It is a shocker to realise the level of hardness and protection we go into when we begin to allow more tenderness and self care into our lives. Without the marker of tenderness from others and a gradual re-building of it within me, I would have considered being tough (and sport like kick boxing) as normal life. In fact I considered it as so normal that I thought something was wrong with me for being so sensitive and I thought that I needed to toughen up to be in the world to cope. Instead I now realise that to be in the world, I need to honour my tenderness and sensitivity as my greatest strength.
Agree! I used to have to run on gravel roads in the cold dark mornings followed by sitting in a cold river on karate camps. Nowadays my feet barely touch a cold ground as I always have my ugg boots on hand.
That is very true Alexis, keep making loving choices, one loving choice at a time, and so we build a stronger foundation of love.
The only way to truly transform life is one loving choice at a time.
“In our essence we are all beautiful and it is from feeling this that our life and ourselves blossom and shines “. Living in connection to our essence is everything and reconnecting to this is our gift and celebration to ourselves and allows our vulnerability and preciousness to be felt. An amazing transformation and honouring of yourself shared here so beautifully Jane inspirational and so relatable to.
There is this beautiful part of every woman, as described in this article, that never goes away, no matter the facade we portray, no matter the accomplishments which later show themselves to be heartbreakingly empty, a woman’s enduring and ineffable beauty remains.
This is very inspiring- to feel that we can come from any point in life and when we truly want too, we can heal and bring a greater love to our lives.
Yes.. there is a relationship between being kind to ourselves and being honest. When we’re honest about where we’re at and what we need, we know instinctively what we need to start doing to take deeper care of ourselves, and it’s easier to put this into practice- just by allowing ourselves to feel and accept the truth of what are bodies are showing us about how we’ve been living.
Perhaps that is why we numb ourselves – to avoid the honesty. Because if we are deeply honest there are quite a few things we would likely not do. But one step at a time eventually gets you a very long way.
It is always great to confirm and appreciate where we have come to in our lives because of the loving choices we are making.
Every step is to be celebrated whether it was a time when we had less body awareness and care, to a time when there is more, every step of the way is to be celebrated for the wholeness of ourselves.
Awesome to hear about these changes, its hearing experiences like these that remind us of the amazing benefits there are to staying true and honouring ourselves.
You Jane are testimont to the fact that we can change external hardness that we have used in the past to keep people out and instead melt into our own tenderness allowing our openness for all to Benifit.
Wow Jane, I can not even imagine you as a black belt kick boxer! You have always felt to me to be such a sweet, caring and gentle woman in so many ways, and that was numerous years ago the last time we spoke. So, I can only imagine where you are now in your development of self-nurturing and honouring. Truly something grand to appreciate, and this blog definitely helped me let go of some self-critique regarding where I am currently at in my personal growth and start appreciating all those little changes that actually add up to quite large advancements when I allow myself to go there.
I too share an appreciation for the soft skin on my feet! Quite a transition from a man who has walked the streets bare-foot proud of the hardness that stopped me from feeling (pun intended!). Your story is amazing Jane – but the real gold comes from the appreciation that you are drinking in and blogs like this are so potent as reminders to us all to take our daily dose of the medicine of appreciation.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes”. How very empowering to know this and appreciate this. Definitely worth celebrating.
Yes the choice to make the changes on a small level consistently supports all to see that there is another way to live that is coming from our true expression as women.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” When we start with honesty and open up to the possibility of change, true healing can occur.
I really love this blog as it shows that no matter how far away from your true nature as a woman you go, you can (and will have to one day) return. It’s like there’s a rubber band around us that lets us go so far, but when we reach the end of the stretch we have to come back. I also really love this blog because it shows how simple and gradual the changes can be, and most of all that it is we who make these changes. We can be inspired and supported to change, but there is no magic pill or fairy god mother to fix us. And the beautiful thing is that making these choices is what re-builds the love we naturally have for ourselves anyway!
Fiona I loved what you shared here “ And the beautiful thing is that making these choices is what re-builds the love we naturally have for ourselves anyway!” because I got to feel that the activity of love doesn’t come from the decision to be loving but it comes instead from us making an infinite amount of loving choices.
So true that increasing our self love and worth doesn’t come from a one off decision but from the 100s of choices we make every single day to be loving and kind to ourselves, or not. All of these choices contribute to the overall quality of our lives and being. Sometimes it just takes one spark of inspiration, one point of reflection of a different way to live, to inspire us make one loving choice. When we allow ourselves to feel the effect of that choice, we can then feel inspired to start to make others.
I love these words of appreciation of how you made the amazing changes you document here that through ‘an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around’. Super inspiring and demonstrating that we can stray very far from our true path but there is always a way back.
The miracle comes from within us, the realization that we are love, and this body deserves exquisite tenderness and care, and we give it to ourselves. This starts to change everything.
It’s easy to be dismissive of the ‘little’ moments or actions that we make in our life but they all add up and are felt and lived by our body! What you share here reminds me how powerful consistency is in the quality that we bring to life and are with our body and to appreciate all the ‘little’ moments in the day that lead us into the ‘big’ ones.
Woah! Having known you for more than ten years I never knew this. It’s insane to me to think of you in a kick-boxing ring! I have just read another, much more recent, blog of yours on this site about your working relationship with another woman, in which there is a divine photo of you. So…gazillions of appreciation and respect for the journey that you have made back to the absolute sweetness and true power (not kick-power) that you are innately. Amazing Jane – you pack a punch of divinity!
Awesome testimonial Jane. It’s a joy to read how beautifully your body melted and received very grateful your new loving choices. Love also this time in the bath just for you, to appreciate, celebrate and enjoy how different your body feels today. Thanks for sharing.
This is a great testimony to the fact that we can turn the direction of our lives around at any moment. Although it may be a slow process, rather than an overnight job, making long-lasting changes to our lifestyle is something that is entirely possible. It also gets easier once we start to see, feel and appreciate the different quality that our different choices are bringing. Thanks for the inspiration this morning Jane.
What is success if we discount our bodies in the process? This is such a valid sharing and a hug reflection to women to deeply appreciate their bodies and celebrate the messages it gives us.
This is a great turnaround Jane! From one extreme to the complete polar opposite. Just goes to show just how far we can stray from being and expressing who we truly are.
I agree the only way to sustainable change is to embody the healing and different choice for ourselves. To be truly inspired that offers freedom to make choices ourselves.
It’s amazing that a point of questioning the course we are on in life can bring about such enormous change and yet when you go through this process as you have described it feels the most natural process of returning.
Just reading your paragraph on your state of well-being prior to Universal Medicine. Most would read that and say…”that’s normal, you can expect that as you get older.” or “I’ve always been like that”, so it’s seen as normal. The problem with normal is that we confuse it with what’s common. Just because something is common, does not actually mean that its normal.
It is super cool that you were able to stop and appreciate the enormous changes you h have gone through Jane and how your body was clearly rejoicing with the choices you had made.
Wow I know you Jane from the recent years but to imagine you with bruises and broken toes I find hard to believe. You are very connected to your body and treating it with respect and love that it must be exquisite to feel such beauty in you.
There is nothing more gorgeous than surrendering to being who we are in essence. It is healing for us all.
It is interesting to consider what we call success and at what expense? There can be no true success if it is achieved at the expense of our bodies. Inspiring sharing Jane and worthy of celebrating for sure.
There were many pursuits that I got engaged in when I was younger that totally disregarded the quality of my physique or physiology and then wondered why I had such painful periods, ill health and raging PMT. The more I have come to embrace my fragility as a woman, truly appreciate just how delicate my body is and express my inherent grace, the more my body has resurrected a solid foundation of health and vitality. Time to examine what is true for a woman’s body and what is not, in order for us to truly resolve many of the ills women are facing today.
A medicine that is truly universal will put us back in the driver’s seat and let us know that the keys were in our hand and our hand only all along.
Like a hangover from being brought up to clean our room, we seem to be fixated and obsessed with tidying things up. We focus on what’s wrong and out of place like it’s a great and unexpected disaster. Consequently we always seem to be upset and annoyed at life’s events. When will we see that this is not a wrestling match we can win, and that new things will always come up for us to face, and this isn’t as much a problem as an act of God’s grace? Then we can start to fine tune our true art in life and become a black belt in appreciation – just like you Jane.
What we choose is what we live. This blog shows clearly how every choice brings an outcome and when at first we don’t listen then the body will get louder and louder. Making these different choices also shows just how quickly the body responds to loving self care and how amazing our life can be. Thanks Jane.
How gorgeous it is to see how far you’ve come from these days Jane, absolutes magical.
What an amazing transformation Jane! This is something I have seen in many other women who are students of the Livingness. I have seen some women sho seem so set in their chosen false way to be a woman in life, transform into the graceful, nurturing beauties they are. This has been a great joy for me to observe and has confirmed the power of having true role models like Natalie and Miranda Benhayon.
It’s gorgeous to see the transformation in the students body year after year. As the time move on we return back to our true nature.
I appreciate all the changes that we all are making. From some years to now I’m really enjoying to see how my body tenderly responds to the way I treat it, the shine in my eyes that never was there before so bright, the lightness in my expression, the grace of my movements, the sense of space that I always have to make my life more loving and the support and true inspiration of all the amazing team of Universal Medicine.
Being willing to be honest and look at the choices we make and look at why we are making them then we have the opportunity to make different choices. So inspiring Jane and it has been a pleasure watching you since we meet at least 7 years ago and watch you melt into the natural tender woman you are.
It is so true that when we develop a deeper level of self care and self love the reward is in how we feel and there is little need to seek the recognition of black belts and the such.
What a gorgeous blog Jane – I absolutely love the way you describe ‘binning’ the shampoo, just like that, because it didn’t feel as lovely as you do today. How far you have come – from kicking other people to kicking habits and things that don’t honour your delicacy. Imagine a world where we award belts when we go to a new level of Love instead of brutality.
Thanks Jane , is it not shocking how much effort ,time and money we put in to damaging our body , then to learn , that somethings all I body needs is a bath , just lovely.
I can imagine that telling a black-belt kickboxer – right when you were in the thick of your training and ‘peak fitness’ – that there was a very different way to live, work and look after yourself wouldn’t be easy! But it’s important to present this because as you’ve shared Jane under the surface our drive to be extremely successful, strong or busy can affect our body and health drastically.
True Susie, if it is not presented then Jane, or anyone else, would go on in the belief that this was ‘fitness’ at the expense of their body and the wider understanding that Jane now brings here.
Sometimes life can feel like a battle, and this is why perhaps so many of us seek to train in sports that are combative at their core. The truth is however that this actually only contributes to the battle being there for everyone else too, it does not stop it or transform it at all, which ironically is what everyone actually wants – to be loved and to not have to fight.
I can relate to building myself up ready to fight the world, with martial arts and excessive exercising as a way of protection, and to even consider that within this body that I have abused for many years there is a delicateness waiting to be expressed and that if I allow it it feels very natural and delicious, and in this allowing that the protection dissolves.
Beautifully said Julie. No matter what we have experienced, said or done in the past, our natural delicateness is always there, in this still and untarnished space, deep down within us.
In one way it feels quite shocking how someone as slight as you was able do do what you did and override the harm it was doing to your body. On the other hand, what I did when I was younger was no different as I abused myself with excessive drink and partying in order to numb what I did not want to feel.
It feels like a reaction to our delicacy, when we try to shut it up by behaving in those tough ways. We do hurt ourselves, but the good thing is that no matter what, we remain delicate under that created surface and it is always at our hands to come back to our true nature.
‘What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.’ How often do I stop and appreciate that when I make choices that support growth and change that it was me that made them. I can easily appreciate that work is going well, that I had a day that just flowed, that I took the time to go and get support when I needed it and I do. What I almost never do is appreciate that I am where I am today because of all the amazing choices I have made. What I do is focus on where I went wrong, if I over spent on something or indulged in foods which I know my body cannot handle which then starts a subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) dialogue of self put-downs on repeat in my head. These comments are nothing like they used to be as I too am far gentler with myself but they are still there as I have not taken the time to truly appreciate that it was me who made all the steps to get where I am and it is me that can ultimately choose differently again.
IT is interesting how much it is become the norm for women to exercise to the extreme. These images of trim and taut figures, with next to no body fat, along with very muscular arms, these are all images we are now fed as to what we as women need to aspire to. but these images are taking women more and more away from their gentleness and tenderness. You sharing here Jane, explains that you don’t have to be hard and tough, that doesn’t support at all.
I can relate to how damaging these images spread out everywhere in media can be Raegan. They set up an standard to be achieved or copied but in most cases they are not real as are photoshopped to look “perfect”. I couldn’t find inspiration by seeing the models in young’s and women’s magazines, just struggling and disatisfaction with myself. By seeing the Women in Livingness magazine I find real women like us, making their life more loving and sharing the wonders that this choice have brought in to their life. The beauty in them is ours too as has nothing to do just with their physical appearance but the emanation from their deep connection with their true essence, which is equal for all.
I can relate to what you share Jane, I used to push and role kegs of beer round even thou I had the men there to do it I was strong and tough enough to do it. I had to brace myself and be super hard to be able to do that kind of work. These days you wouldn’t catch me pushing through trying to be strong, now a days I am learning more and more just how tender, sensitive and precious I really am.
It’s hard to know which comment to reply to here – all these amazing gems from gorgeous women who are returning to their true sacredness. It’s nectar to drink in and a joy to be part of and I have enormous appreciation of you all. In the world we live in, with the forces, ideals, beliefs and pressures for a woman to be a certain way, it is the life-line of humanity that there are women who are dedicating themselves to returning to their true essence. The path you tread is one that us men will gleefully follow.
I love that the changes you made were not from someone telling you what to do but rather that through being inspired you allowed yourself to trust what you felt and gave yourself permission to honour that… so that little by little your body has responded to the love and care and the ailments disappeared. This is the beauty of transformation and the power of the love you chose for yourself.
It is interesting Jane how we can change many things on the external but until we cherish ourselves on the inside first and then apply that to our bodies we are eternally uneasy.
Ah gosh Jane, I love reading your words, they bring a tear to my eye. How is it that we end up this way, that simply being kind to ourselves, like we would to a young boy or girl, has become a huge and special thing? Your words remind me that tenderness never stops but keeps going deeper with the care it’s born to share. Why do we ever stop and say ‘that’s enough’? This is the bit that is so wrong. I’m looking forward the day when we are all awarded honoury pink slippers to show we have reached an expert level in nurturing. If that came we would know it can not ever stop there but must keep evolving every day, step by step, with tender care.
Love it. Nurturing awards – beats a decathlon any day. I have many friends who at the age of 45-ish are pushing their bodies way, way harder than they ever did in their twenties…and on top of this there is a drive and competitiveness (usually with themselves – how crazy is that?) that means they are going to be even more deaf to what their bodies might be telling them. The world is crying out for permission, inspiration and leadership in how to embody the fragility, tenderness and sacredness of which you write Jane. Thank you.
Jane that certainly IS something to celebrate. It can be difficult to open our eyes to how sports or activities like kickboxing are affecting/damaging our body, because it’s exercise and a ‘stress relieving’ hobby… However, as is the same with a lot of sports, not everyone’s body is designed to take it, and although we might become exceptional at that sport our body could be crying out underneath the hardness and toughness we’ve developed.
I really do struggle to picture you as a kick boxer…. Testament to how far you have come with regard to your own evolution
It’s ironic that the things we do for fitness can actually contribute to us getting ill. Many of these types of sports and keep fit regimes are sold as the ultimate to good health, and yet here you were Jane experiencing ill health – it just goes to show that extreme exercise is as unhealthy as no exercise.
Appreciating the beautiful tender woman you are is a great way to kick the habit of trying to be tough.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” And hence you have claimed the real power of the Serge Benhayon’s presentations Jane, that we are in charge of our health, our lives and when truly understood, have the power to transform the quality of our daily choices and so experience the knock on effects of choosing to care deeply for our selves once more.
Physical workouts and exercise can be as addictive as anything else. We override what the body calls for naturally, and substitute it with exercise regimes that drive us, toughen our bodies and keep awake at night because of the nervous energy we are in.
Being a black belt kickboxer would have been seen as something to be proud of back then Jane – I’m sure you would have been told this. But the achievement of being a black belt had a massive price tag on your body. Today being International Womens Day, we need to look at what we celebrate as women. Is it the achievements and the seeming equality with men at whatever cost to our bodies, or is the true celebration when a women is not only connected to her essence, but living that – walking it in life.
I would like to comment on just one little snippet from your blog today and that is that you binned your organic shampoo and conditioner because they felt too harsh; what can I say other than congratulations for not being bound by ideals and beliefs. I am not for nor against organic products but surely, how they feel and whether they are supportive or not has to be the most important factor.
I agree Gabriele, tuning into how a product feels unleashes us from ideals that keep us bound to only looking at the physical ingredients but do not encourage us to feel the quality of energy that the product has been made in.
Similarly, I went through a period of trying different ‘organic’ or ‘free from products’ which were excellent quality but felt terrible on my hair so I didn’t use them despite spending quite a lot on them. Instead, I continued to find the one that I felt worked with my hair best and now I have a whopping great big bottle of it.
“Fifteen years ago I was a junior black-belt kick boxer. I also cycled up mountains, did 100’s of press-ups and sit-ups as part of my kickboxing training, and regularly went jogging”. . . . I find this very is hard to fathom Jane as I have always known you to be an extremely delicate and tender, graceful woman and I must have first met you 13years ago! It is always interesting that we are often the last to realize who what we are truly.
I love those words “Its amazing that delicateness, fragility and sensitivity support our body, health and wellbeing ” thank you Jane for sharing, these gorgeous feelings I am starting to allow my self to feel as i let go of the protection and become more self loving and self honest.
So true Jane that when we are with our bodies and in touch with the delicate nature of our being it is impossible to force the body to act in ways that do not honour this connection. Of course we can call in a force as I also once did too, yet in truth my body was not at ease with this.
‘When I surrender to my delicateness, and fragility I feel far more at ease with the world. Its amazing that delicateness, fragility and sensitivity support our body, health and wellbeing more than any hardened protection or kickboxing ever did.’ This is such an inspiring turnaround Jane. I rejected my own delicacy and fragility for years but in reconnecting back to them I am savouring them.
I often think about this blog Jane, I cannot believe you used to be a blackbelt kick boxer… what an amazing transformation.
Being gentle with myself has been profoundly life changing for me also, I can agree the ongoing aliments that I used to live with have as you said, subsided and I have a vitality and general joy that it undisturbed by life events. Gentleness is really something to explore, it is not weak, it is not shallow, it is not uncommitted. When we treat our bodies gently we say we are worth loving.
It really is the little changes that build on each other to make big changes. I am celebrating with you too Jane and appreciating the qualatituve differences these changes make and how much this can change how much we literally enjoy life.
Wow Jane, what a transformation and what an inspirational story! Achieving true health and wellbeing, feeling that you are you and “… the most tender, gentle, and most loving (you) have felt in (your) life” is truly something to celebrate.
I cannot imagine you and men over 6 feet tall practicing kick boxing together, you are so petite. It is nuts the things we do…. a few broken toes and ribs and we think this is fun. We have to be disconnected from our bodies to think this is okay.
Love it – from junior black-belt kick boxer to writing inspiring blogs in the bath, this is quite a turnaround Jane! It’s crazy how pushing our body to its physical limitations and beyond is championed as being healthy and fit when in this state all true intelligence is arrested and rendered naught due to the exhaustion and depletion of the body. Our physical form, the human body, is a vehicle of expression that is able to receive vast amounts of communication from a far greater intelligence than what we rely on to get by in this life but, and this is the set-up, it is very difficult if not near impossible to be able to receive this communication if we keep our body bludgeoned in the sense that it becomes deaf and mute to such wisdom. The key back to this understanding is though tenderness and honouring the body as the sacred temple of wisdom that it truly is when not imposed upon by a force that seeks to silence such a voice.
Health is a word that carries so many different meanings for all of us. When I was in my late teens heading into my twenties I would have been so inspired by the old Jane. I thought ‘health’ was all about fitness and going hard but I now have a very different view on health. I liken this to the way that I view intelligence, once upon a time, I thought that I wasn’t intelligent, I was influenced by the way that schools and Universities are focused only on the recall from the brain, the memory and regurgitating information. Now, intelligence for me involves all organs not one over active one, it’s a whole body experience. If I am really intelligent or accessing a steam of true intelligence, then it has to take all things into consideration. So now true health to me, has to embody both fitness and relationships, including the one with yourself. You might be thinking as you read this that,” I have a good relationship with myself”….but then you must quantify ‘good’ to me because just using Jane’s blog here as an example, having a bruised toe from kick boxing is quite intense, if someone had kicked my daughter so hard that they bruised their toe then I would not be happy, so why is that acceptable in our relationship with ourselves? We brush these things of as little things, like period pain but they are the body crying out to be herd. The woman inside begging us to stop pushing and trying so hard. I am so inspired by you Jane, you are a leader amongst woman and men.
Jane, it’s lovely to read of the transformation in your life and to know that this is something we all can do by responding to what our bodies are telling us and making simple changes by choosing to be more self-loving.
Beautiful to feel your appreciation for the loving changes that you have made Jane and so supportive for me to read today when I am recognising how hard I have been on myself and that taking time to celebrate how far we have come is totally worth it!
Our body shares back with us (and with everybody else) the quality of choices we make and the quality of energy we live in. Battered feet with bruises and painful calluses are the tell-tale sign of walking in tension and irritation, with disregard for the delicateness we are within. Painful periods tell their own powerful story of how the woman has been treating herself the month past – again, has the preciousness she naturally is, been the order of the day or has that (and therefore the woman herself) been cast aside as she pushed through the day in a way that ultimately pounded on her female body?
The transformation you share here Jane is amazing and at the same time completely normal, available to everyone. It is the natural end-result of deep self-honouring and loving choices – with our body always as our closest companion, our own tender child we would cherish so deeply and the ever so wise teacher we could have, all at the same time.
It was the title that really stood out to me Jane. I realised that I had my own form of ‘black belt kick boxer’ going on for most of my life which is the polar opposite to the exquisite tenderness I can feel is my natural way of being. Reading your blog has allowed me to feel deep appreciation for the choices I have made along the way that I can now drop the protection and take off the black belt.
Great how you celebrate and appreciate yourself Jane, and how you are today with yourself as opposed to a few years back, ‘with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around’, amazing.
Thank you Jane for sharing your turn around. As I read this blog I am getting flashbacks of my life before being introduced to the work of Universal Medicine Practioners. The hardness and ideal life that others thought I was living masked a very different picture behind closed doors. I too enjoy the simplicity of a bath that outweighs harming levels of working hours that left me heading to the many food fixes that would feed this cycle of behaviour time and time again.
How amazing are the changes that naturally begin to take place in our bodies and our then our lives when we begin to care for ourselves in a loving and honouring way? We don’t have to make lots of changes at once accompanied by a whole heap of expectations, but to simply make one self-loving choice, like bringing tenderness into the way we moisturise our bodies. Committing to this everyday will have a beautiful ripple effect that will begin to flow into other areas of our lives, bringing a quality to the way we live that most of us probably have not experienced before.
What is so beautifully inspiring about what you share here Jane is that you made conscious choices to change how you live and in ways that we all can bring to our own lives and ways of being. Tenderness and love are our return to our natural divine rhythm. Awesome thank you.
As I read your blog this morning I realised how important it is to focus on ourselves and take care of our body, and that this is something that we can go deeper and deeper with and how it can change our lives and the lives of others, by reflecting to them that life need not be harsh, hard work or a struggle and we don’t need to abuse or push ourselves to cope with it. Serge Benhayon was the reflection I needed too, to make real changes in my life, and although ongoing, the steps I am taking towards my true self are the true steps worth taking.
I love the way you appreciate yourself Jane. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story.
How painful ‘success’ can be! How do we gauge what ‘success’ is in life? When it is all about ‘doing’ at the expense of our body it is enormously detrimental to our health and well being This article offers a great expose of that Jane.
What I love Jane is that you were able to take a moment to appreciate how much you had changed since your kick boxing days, and the hard and driven life that you had before Universal Medicine. Appreciation is something that we could all do with more of in our lives, for me it is a marker to see how far I have come and to see what next steps I can take so that I don’t fall back into my old ways..
Ah… old ways – when I find myself going back into my old ways I take a moment to appreciate myself for whom I am and not what I do, even though the ‘doing’ part seems to creep it and I find it easier to appreciate others, I know that appreciation of myself is the key to building a foundation of love within me.
Gorgeous, yes something to truly celebrate indeed. It is such a celebration of how being kind, tender and self nurturing can have such an impact on us physically and an appreciation how, equally, the converse can be true.
It is remarkable taking a moment to stop and reflect on the choices we have been making that is supporting us to be All of who We Are. Ultimately over time the more we do something the more we find it easier to relax and be ourselves.
I agree Natalie as to how important taking those stop moment is – it’s like a personal stock take. Most of us spend so much time running ourselves down for what we haven’t done while totally overlooking the amazing things we have been doing and how awesome we actually are. It all comes down to self appreciation; it has the power to change our lives.
wow that was a bit scary to read about your black belt in one of the toughest martial arts. I have a female friend who was also a black belt in a martial art and is going through reclaiming her body and the hardness she wired in. I know other people who are black belts in mothering, working, not working, relationships etc etc. It is amazing how our lives change when we put that dedication and commitment to letting go of all this trying and identification and instead return to who we truly are as you have described.
This is super awesome Jane and certainly something to celebrate. We can transform our lives through how we are with ourselves and through focusing on quality over what we do and can achieve.
I am currently on Esoteric Massage level 2, and it’s been the most amazing experience – feeling underneath all the protection and hardness I am really a soft marshmallow.
It can be a way to use hardness and recklessness as a form of punishing oneself, out of criticism and self-judgement, but going deeper I am understanding that t is another form of not taking responsibility, because if we were to surrender to that innate delicateness and beauty we hold within we would be far more honouring of ourselves and all others, and feel more deeply, and know what is truly needed in each moment, rather than in our misery, ‘hurt’, or reaction choose to do.
Wow Jane, what a major tradition and it is so beautiful to read about how you changed from your ingrained hardness to self-love and tenderness.
Beautiful Jane! I can so relate to what you have expressed here.
I feel so sad to realise just how harsh I was on myself, with all the diets, exercise, weight lifting, toughness etc.
This is definitely a beautiful path to be on!
It is a totally different perspective of health care and wellbeing to be gentle and kind to ourselves and bodies rather than push and punish ourselves to achieve an ideal of extreme function.
I couldn’t agree more Jane, that the journey from hardness towards a through-and-through tenderness is worth celebrating every step of the way. Tenderness is a very misunderstood quality that in effect holds great strength in its exquisiteness.
What you have shared here Jane, is nothing short of a miracle, bold words sure, but what you’re describing is so huge. That you have been able to change what you have, live in a such a different way, self honouring and loving yourself, very inspiring.
So inspiring Jane to feel the gentle understanding and appreciation you now have with yourself, it’s extra ordinary how the body responds, even sings as we begin to make self care an intrinsic part of life.
That is an amazing transformation, thank you for this account.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” It truly is amazing to appreciate just how much we can change our lives by stopping to appreciate the beauty and connection we have with our bodies and what they share with us. Thank you Jane.
It is interesting to read how hard and tired your body became under such a relentless daily routine and practice. It then makes perfect sense that we then reach out for things like coffee, tea and sugar to allow us to keep it up until total depletion takes place.
A very beautiful read. Who would have thought that being gentle and then tender with yourself would produce such great change? But in truth it is the only thing that ever does.
Jane I love how you celebrate and appreciate yourself and the changes that you have made in your life, these changes are huge! and its great to reflect on them, I too have made many changes in my life and often take these for granted but they are amazing and it feels lovely to celebrate these.
It is an incredible example of how we can turn our lives around, it is literally amazing what you share here Jane, very inspiring.
An amazing transformation and something worth appreciating deeply Jane. What’s been shared here gives so much insight into how lifestyle-related illness and conditions can be turned around by making changes in how we are with ourselves on a moment to moment basis.
Jane I really love this blog. What you share about how your life has changed is truly miraculous but goes to show that this kind of change can be a reality for us all.
I once had a black belt in karate. My tenderness was so deeply hidden beneath hardness that I forgot I was even tender. As a teenager I had brusies up my shins, chilblains on my toes, sore fingers….yet there was pride in how tough I was. I was so disconnected from my body – I had to be otherwise it was too painful.
Amazing turnaround Jane, we have become so accustomed to the hardened competitive tough image for both men and women, that it is considered ‘natural’ and yet how much do we adore the tenderness, absolute delicateness of the newborn baby, and how much do we miss it when this quality gradually becomes eroded and masked in the rough and tumble of the world. But what if it is within us still all along, just requiring us to unfold and reclaim those innate qualities… and how would this change the nature of all our relationships..
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” Your appreciation of you feels key here to allowing in the truer you.
Truly inspirational Jane – often we struggle through our daily lives unaware that there is an amazing resource with us all the time that we can listen to, care for and nourish and that this is all we need – our amazing selves!
Having known you personally for some years, every time I come back to read this blog I smile – because the woman I am honoured to know is such a far cry from the hard woman you describe that is is hard to imagine! It is been an amazing journey for you, but it has been totally worth it because the woman you are today is totally amazing
All the things I tried along the way in my life and none of them brought the anywhere near knowing myself. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine taught me about the grandness and beauty of the true me, and how we are all that equally.
“I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt in my life.” This is very definitely worth celebrating Jane. What you are sharing is so foundational for us all to feel, that the push and strive brings a huge amount of ill-health from over-riding the wondrous bodies we have been gifted to care for. Your reflection of care is celebrated by all as we discover that more push and shove only achieves more pain and lost connection to our true self.
Thank you Jane for your righting that still holds true, if not expanded since, today. I loved the questions you posed to yourself: how did I get here? From the love of others such as Serge Benhayon showing how we can be ourselves in life, how we can be gentle, tender, still, light and joy-full. And at the same time recongising that that same strength and willingness to live in such a way is available to us as well. My life has changed because I chose to change it and have chosen to see such a reflection that change is possible. We never meet people by accident nor do they meet us by accident.
What an amazing transformation, shedding all those layers of hardness and the calluses to boot.
Isn’t it amazing how so many small changes add up to something so much bigger, where we can say we feel completely different within ourselves. Ultimate inspiration to not ignore those little changes asking to be made every day.
Yes Meg, I agree. I know that I get impatient with myself, I feel that because there are so many quick fixes in life that I can change the way I live overnight and to a greater or lesser degree that is possible as we can make a choice to do things differently, however when we consider that every moment is a choice to make that is either love or not then we realise just how many moments we need to remain committed to that initial choice to make changes to see a lasting change. The great thing is that the more you commit to those moments the more our foundation supports us to come back when we slip into old patterns and momentums which we know so well.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” Serge Benhayon presents another way, he offers the space to explore & understand what responsibility feels like in our bodies, and as Jane has shared it is life changing.
Throughout my life I have come to stop points where i have felt unable to continue a particular behaviour or pattern and made a big change, frequently these choices where made from a place of reaction and therefore had real longevity. It was not until i came to the ground breaking work of Universal medicine that i realised that these choices could not simply be compartmentalised from month to month/ year to year like a new year’s resolution, but that it is actually these small consistent shifts in our day to day living – this is where the magic truly lies.
“how much I can feel inside my body, and how sensitive (in a great and tender way) my body is to many things” Jane the welcoming of this sensitivity is a huge step, for i know i have spent many years overriding it, living from my head and leaving my body to follow, accepting that life could actually be impulsed by my body turns everything seemingly inside out.
I love this blog Jane. The contrast between how you use to live and how you live now is just huge. And the tenderness is tangible! I love your term ‘self-kindness’. It says and suggests so much, and it leaps off the page as something that is not ‘usual’ in our language today. It is amazing that a few simple changes and some kindness towards yourself can have such a huge effect.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” Appreciation is so important in our everyday interactions – celebrating you – something we can all do. It is our everyday choices that can bring change – or not – every small step counts.
Jane the changes you have made are inspiring. And what is great is that as you said it is you who made the choice to change and that is why the change has been so dramatic, consistent and long lasting.
Totally so much to celebrate here Jane! Meeting you and getting to know you, there are no signs at all of the tough, driven kickboxing woman that you speak of. Stories like yours need to be told and out for all to read as an amazing reflection of what we are not and what we most definitely are.
Even sharing what is behind needing and choosing to do something to our bodies like kickboxing or martial arts that very clearly harms us. I have noticed a substantial rise in children been put in these kinds of activities and especially young girls.
Wow Jane, you have made many changes from black belt boxing to being so tender and gentle with yourself and others. I loved the term “self-kind”, this is something we rarely read or hear as our relationship to ourselves is not really focussed on, yet being self-kind is truly a beautiful way to live.
I agree from my deepest of depths: what a joy it is to neither ‘fight’ nor ‘give up’ anymore. Both are behaviors of the same coin, just the different sides of it. And this coin buys me nothing but harm.
By connecting again to myself, to others and divinity I need no coins to buy me anything – I am everything.
This is deeply to appreciate. And yes, that’s definitely worth a celebrating bath.
As I know you now in person Jane, I cannot imagine you have been a black belt kick boxer in the past. What this blog shows me is that because be have lost the connection with who we truly are makes it possible to abuse our body beyond our imagination. And that is exactly what you see in the media and people you meet on the street . They are doing things to their bodies that does not respect the nature of our human bodies, all for recognition and reward, that while connected with our inner most could be easily found inside.
In coming back to this blog it highlights to me just how far so many of us live from who we truly are and how in trying to justify ourselves to the world we end up physically torturing ourselves to prove we are worthy and live life hard and in protection. What a lovely reflection you are offering here Jane; that we can come back from this to discover the gorgeous essence that was with us all along; to find joy and appreciation in the simple acts of nurturing ourselves with loving tender care.
Making huge changes like Jane has can only be done by taking full responsibility for everything that we choose for ourselves, and being really honest about what is and isn’t working for us. With many health conditions on the rise, the answers really lay with us as individuals, and not in finding cures or putting taxes on things like sugar…that’s just encouraging lack of responsibility in my eyes.
It’s remarkable how you’ve transformed your health Jane, and can now appreciate a soak in the bath as a gorgeous way to celebrate yourself…that’s sounds like a long way from the kick boxing queen that you were.
Jane knowing you now I would have never ever thought that you kick boxed! You have certainly come a long way. Interesting how we often ‘judge’ someone’s life by all of those external factors…money, house, car etc and think that person has it all, but their body is a wreck from how they have been living, and we don’t blink an eyelid at that. I am sure we will get that there is something not right with this one day.
From the understanding of how you live now you are almost unrecognisable from your past and this for me shows the state in which society finds itself – far from our true nature of brotherhood but only a series of simple step by step changes away from returning.
Lovely Jane, it is hard to believe that you were once such a woman of steel knowing you in your delicateness and tenderness. Yours is a great example of how tough we think we have to become to survive in this world but in truth can stand in our tender power instead enjoying life while being fully in it.
Thank you for sharing this Jane. I like how you point out that you appreciate that you are the one that has been making the changes. We can be inspired by others and seek advice but in the end we have to make the changes that we see need to be made, nobody can make us and nobody can make them for us. We hold all the power in our own hands when it comes to our life and bringing self-love to it is the most precious gift we can give ourselves.
The magic of small changes over a longer period of time is stunning. For me this was the key. I had tried lots of big changes in my life such as moving countries, entering a Yoga ashram etc. But these changes were never stable and didn’t last. Small changes instead practiced daily and consistently have brought real change that lasts.
I also really love your words Jane ” and as I sit here now in the bath I am the most tender, gentle and most loving I have felt in my life”.
A great blog to re read and see so much more than I did before the previous read Jane. Women often seem to have a need to prove themselves in the physical stakes by choosing to compete against men, and often we do very well, but to what effect on our more delicate bodies?
It makes no sense to compete with men in the physical, how did we get a place that we think it serves us or others in any way?
A very very lovely sharing. Thank You Jane.
“I could feel that they had made many changes in their own lives and were today loving, tender, gentle, self-kind, and deeply self-honest: this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself”- this really stood out for me. It sounds bizarre but true that we live as though we need a permission in everything and anything, and trusting our own feelings is something that we never get taught or encouraged, and that often is the last thing we do – we seek guidance, direction from experts, thinking there is the right answer somewhere out there. It is simply beautiful to meet someone who knows themselves and there is ease about the way they go about their way.
Yes, agreed Fumiyo. I was never taught to trust that what I felt or thought was something valuable and worth taking seriously. I grew up thinking that I was being responsible by looking up information in books or on the internet etc or by consulting professionals, attending workshops or consulting more ‘knowledgeable’ peers. I kept myself out of the picture and so grew very disconnected from myself. Through Serge Benhayon I have been learning that a great source of wisdom is right inside of myself. Opening myself up and discovering me is a project full of wonderment and endless information.
Jane I love the words that you have used here… ‘self patience’.This is a marker for all women that stops the self judgement that often over rides what is truly going on for us.
Even reading these two words together brings a sense of gentleness and deep nurturing to my body. A marriage made in heaven.
Appreciation is something I never used to make the time to do, berating myself was my usual way, but like you Jane I am now able to appreciate how far I have come and how all the hardness that was once in my body is no longer there. This is definitely worth a moment of appreciation and celebration.
Yes Alison, the changes you have made are worth deep appreciation and celebration. The reflection you bring is very needed as the norm today is one hardness and abuse.
Doing a U-turn from kick boxer to tenderness is like a movement between two extremes, yet you have shown how very possible it is with the insights and awareness offered by Women in Livingness.
As in your first paragraph Jane it is so beautiful to get to the point of reflecting and appreciating the journey thus far travelled. How those gentle, self nurturing, self-loving ways become (through choice) a part of your every day living ways. Such a huge contrast to those ‘hardening of the body choices’ punishing schedules, anxiety states
and painful periods beyond belief – amazing. To truly having such a beautiful connection with yourself (all of you) is time to celebrate indeed.
Your sharing Jane is a testament to the simple power of living love in our life. No matter what our background and our choices, we can all heal. There is truly nothing grander than being Love
I can really relate to a lot of what you have said here Jane, although I was definitely not a kickboxer. I went more the opposite way and did no exercise and preferred to hide in a cave. However, I had serious anxiety problems, massive hormonal imbalances, fatigue, insomnia etc. I also tried a whole range of alternative/complementary therapies to help get to the root of all that was wrong with me. The thing is that I always knew that all the problems I had were connected and that there was a way to find a true healing, which is why I never gave up trying different modalities out. And it wasn’t until I started having esoteric healing session that I realised I had found it. A year and a half on and I am certainly not over all of my problems, but I feel better, and look better, than I have ever done in my life.
What a beautiful blog Jane. I have only known you for about a year so I am a little surprised to hear you were a kickboxer. This is clearly because of how far you have become the real you, the sweet Jane that always brings a smile to my face. You are such a gorgeous tender woman, who has an inner strength which is nothing like the strength you would have needed back in the kickboxing days. This is testament to the fact that there is another way to find true strength that does not come from pushing ourselves to the limit.
Beautiful Jane, I love your sharing. And I love how you just throw away your shampoo the moment it does not feel supporting any longer.
Gorgeous Jane – ‘What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself. And, as I sit here now in the bath, I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt in my life. That is something to celebrate with a long bath!’
One of the things I got so clearly from your blog today Jane is all is not what it seems. How many successful, fit/healthy people are living lives on the outside but a mess on the inside? I know I used to be one and you have professed to have been one….I think the answer would be in the millions. I too thank God for Serge Benhayon who is inspiring us to live from the inside out and to know that our insides are actually pretty amazing.
Sarah – sadly we have put fitness on e pedestal and made it a way of proving to the world that we are doing OK. If someone goes to the gym, then they are OK. But no one check the quality. How many external behaviours can our body take to look the part before we have to stop and say ‘whats going on under the exterior I present to the world?’ Serge Benhayon has always presented the possibility that everything is energy and everything is because of energy, which leaves no stone unturned and has asked me to look beyond the actions and consider the quality of my movements. And from this, it makes sense to my body that true nurturing and health starts from within and how we are not what we do.
Today at work I felt the exquisite tenderness in one of my colleagues and it was so very beautiful. I felt so touched by his care, love and grace.
I had a moment this morning sitting in bed where I was trying to open a water bottle and it was very rough on my hands. So without thinking about it, I handed it to my husband to ask for his support. And after I asked him, I smiled, because not so long ago I would pride myself on people handing me things they could not open and it was my duty to open them. Jars, bottles, anything they found tough was my challenge – and i used to really struggle and strain my whole shoulders and arms and even cut my fingers just to make a point. So this morning I deeply appreciated the steps i have taken to let go of the control of doing it all – and welcome the tenderness my body naturally is. Thank you Jane for also sharing your beautiful experience.
“So this morning I deeply appreciated the steps i have taken to let go of the control of doing it all – and welcome the tenderness my body naturally is.” This is our way forward and hvmorden, you are the living reflection that is needed for women and men to find their way back to their tenderness too.
“self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself” gosh Jane, this is what needs to be bottled and taught in schools. This would allow to build understanding with oneself, let go of the hardness, the need to be perfect and bring a love to the process of learning and unfolding back to who we truly are.
Jane I felt exhausted jus treading all the things you did, I can’t imagine you kick-boxing with 6ft tall men. Knowing you now, a petite gentle and very loving person it seem difficult to believe that this was once what you used to do, it shows how far we can loose ourselves to become successful and ‘outshine’ others in life.
The world seems to tell us success is about all the things outside of ourselves – true success is the quality of our relationship with ourselves, I am learning and experiencing everyday that the more love I have for me the more there is for others it is simple and an age old concept but to live it rather than just read a quote on a page and know it is true is quite a remarkable experience.
The commitment to understanding and living this very simple practise is not a reflection of how hard it is to do as my life is becoming much more simple. However the complexity comes from how far we have stepped away from it and what we have taken on from around us and shoved in between. The first part of the journey has been realising what I am not to then accept who I truly am.
“If we were encouraged to develop and deepen our relationship with ourselves then there is less or no need to look outside of ourselves…” I love that Jane. What if we were encouraged to do this from a very early age, the world would certainly be a very different place. We would hold onto the innocence and playfulness we had as a child and when our bodies grew into the body of a woman (or a man for that matter) we would retain that innocence and not feel the need to look outside of ourselves anymore.
The amazing life changes that have unfolded due to people’s experiences with Universal Medicine and a choice to be self-loving is nothing short of one miracle after another. It is incredible to read the beautiful transformations that people have experienced and how they are now inspiring those around them.
“…this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself”. The power of reflection and inspiration is very strong. Re-learning the art of trusting what we are feeling is the greatest support system we have, from there all the little choices can be made, which actually have huge implications on the way in which we live. Before we know it a great transformation has occurred as you have beautifully shared.
There is so much in what you have shared here, the hardness and drive that we as women go into. Being the best at what we do, but in the process, leaving the quality of all that being a women represents. To turn that around, bring awareness to how one is living is a big commitment, but one that is forever rewarding. I have found that is it in all the little things, the building of self honouring, listening to what you instinctively feel and trusting that.
Absolutely Raegan – it is so important that we learn how to balance looking after ourselves and not putting too much pressure on our bodies by going into drive, but at the same time still doing things to the absolute best of our ability and being consistent with our focus and commitment to the community/whatever service we can bring.
‘I was, at that time, an associate director of a large healthcare organization – and I used to turn up for work with bruises and broken toes (from the kickboxing).’ So interesting that we can all be in positions of responsibility, representing something such as health and care and yet give an entirely different message through our life choices and resulting self-harm and injuries.
I love the depth of appreciation you share here Jane – you are celebrating yourself for who you are without all the roles and habits – but just as you are.
Being a martial arts black belt in the past, I can relate to the feeling of trying to be tough and let a role define me, rather than accepting the tender woman I naturally am. It took a long time to break the pattern of needing to be independent and defend myself. I can see how I took ‘independent’ to a whole new level and used it as a form of protection to shut the world out.
But as you share here, I too have been on a journey of letting go of the toughness that was not me, and letting who I am, and the sensitive, deeply caring woman naturally shine through.
It feels so very different now in my body – I am no longer on guard or in flight mode, I am much more content with who I am, knowing that I can continue to deepen the tenderness I naturally feel.
In the rush to be more , we forget who we are, and can never be content. I love your words Hannah – ‘ I am much more content with who I am, knowing that I can continue to deepen the tenderness I naturally feel.’.
What a great way to live and allow, forever deepening the tenderness and love we naturally are.
It seems that what is regarded of any value is increasingly linked to the outside world and often what is most highly awarded is that which is most superficial. As Rebecca Briant points out “no one would stop to consider you – how you feel and how the up keep of that way of life is effecting you and your body. That is what is so amazing about what Serge presents. He takes into account how you are when you do something, not just what your doing, so that it is less about how good life looks based on your actions, but how good it truly is underneath it all” Most of us don’t want to feel at this level for it exposes everything that we are doing to ourselves as being less than helpful to our quality of life and we don’t want to change But how awesome when we do take that choice and, as you show here Jane, our lives become ones that celebrate the gorgeousness of who we truly are underneath the hardness and the trying to be more.
“…our lives become ones that celebrate the gorgeousness of who we truly are underneath the hardness and the trying to be more…” I love this bit elainearthey, how true. Once we accept our gorgeous selves and truly begin to feel it, then there is no need to try anymore, it is enough to just be, and the hardness falls away to reveal the tenderness and vulnerability underneath.
Making that choice to feel what is in our lives that is unsupportive is in itself a huge strength that is worth celebrating. To be willing to look is us being honest and saying ‘thing’s aren’t right’ even if the outside world rewards our love-less ways there is something inside us saying ‘this is not right and I know this’. This is a strength that is greater than any amount of martial arts or rigidity we can create in the body can bring, there is no true strength in trying to hold all the lies all together in a picture of ‘success’.
So true Leigh and thank you for this has expanded my awareness this morning and allowed me to consider more deeply what is supportive.
I like you Jane used to do martial arts and at the time I thought I loved it, but looking at it from where I am today, I can clearly see how abusive it is to our bodies and obviously to others. I now get a clearer sense of what lengths I was willing to go to ignore what my body was telling me, especially as quite often I would get debilitating back ache for months but still want to train believing that it would help the situation. Until one day both of my legs gave way with sciatica and I was laid out on the couch for weeks. To go from that to wanting to have tenderness, gentleness and to observe my reactions in life which harden my body is a fair cry from the abuse I was willing to accept. What stands out are the things which we are willing to champion without ever asking ourselves how we truly feel.
I have come to really appreciate this blog. How we can celebrate ourselves for the amazing changes we have made and just how wonderfully we can change. To look at your past life, most would champion it as a high powered female making it in a man’s world and blitzing it kind of way. Yet here we are celebrating the fact that now you are deeply connected to yourself. This is love, warm, gorgeous, nurturing love.
Yes Amanda the changes for many women has been incredible and for Jane like many women to stand and celebrate their tender, gorgeous and nurturing love is something that should be truly celebrated.
Yes I agree Amanda, it is really great to reflect back on how one has lived and deeply appreciate the changes and transformations that have taken place as Jane has so beautifully expressed here. To really celebrate all that which is different and loving.
I hadn’t read this beautiful blog for a while but today it called me to read it again and I am so delighted that I have. It is a timely reminder to remember to appreciate and celebrate how far I have come in the last few years thanks to making many self loving changes in my life. As you say “This is love, warm gorgeous, nurturing love” – definitely something to continually celebrate.
Having known you now for many years jane, its hard to imagine you once being so hard with your body, especially considering how small you are, and how much care you now hold yourself in. Its interesting to consider that your level of physical fitness and achievements would be congratulated and award, help in high esteem, but no one would stop to consider you – how you feel and how the up keep of that way of life is effecting you and your body. That is what is so amazing about what serge presents. He takes into account how you are when you do something, not just what your doing, so that it is less about how good life looks based on your actions, but how good it truly is underneath it all
Its been a while since I last read this beautiful sharing. In the very first paragraph I clocked the word appreciate. How you were appreciating the changes in your body while taking your bath. This is such a wonderful thing we can do for ourselves and that is to really appreciate when we have made significant changes in our lives. For me this inspires more self loving acts to continue my journey forward and lots of bubbly baths.
I agree Mary. To see someone transform their life like that is a miracle and the truth of the matter is that it is not only Jane who has done it but hundreds of people, thanks to the support of Serge Benhayon. I myself will forever appreciate the support and presence of Serge Benhayon in my life.
Beautiful Marion, what an important part of life this is all too often do we start to make amazing changes and because we do not appreciate this taking place we fall backwards and sometimes at an even worse state. This is a huge and something to really act on constantly.
I too have found it to be so very important to appreciate the many wonderful changes, both big and small, I have made in my life instead of giving myself a hard time about the things I haven’t done. Falling backwards is so very easy if I start the self berating, but it is constant appreciation that holds me in a loving place that supports me to continue to learn and to evolve.
Yes its the appreciation that builds the foundation. Everything else becomes fillers that often fall apart in the long run.
Appreciation for ourselves is such a deep support we can give ourselves in our journey forward. When I stop and appreciate the effect on my body is instant, a beautiful feeling or surrendering and deep relaxation.
“Serge Benhayon and the others offered me true inspiration. I could feel that they had made many changes in their own lives and were today loving, tender, gentle, self-kind, and deeply self-honest: this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself.” Thank you Jane, I too have been inspired by Serge Benhayon and others to make loving changes for myself and can appreciate the tender rediscovery of the beautiful woman I am. There is a loving responsibility when I realise that I now inspire others to reflect on how they treat themselves.
It’s so simple yet feels revolutionary to begin to trust our own body as a guide to life. I am so glad I too have begun this turnaround in my life, my whole body has changed and I feel lighter in so many ways.
As do I Felicity, it has been an absolute JOY to reflect back on how I used to feel and how I used to live and see the enormous changes I have made and continue to make. I was just pondering recently how I too used to do Kick Boxing and Brazilian jiu jitsu (a martial arts) and how even at the time I never wanted to be there and never enjoyed it but did it to support and be with my partner at the time.
And that is to be simply a reflection – shining from our natural essence in our everyday interactions with people.
Revisiting this blog today, I felt the deepest and fullest surge of appreciation (no other way to describe it!) within my body from the reflection you bring here Jane and the complete turnaround in your life. This appreciation continued to deepen for myself and all the student community who are truly inspired by The Way of The Livingness, as presented by Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine and re-claiming the innate Grandness within.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself”.
The turnaround in your life is absolutely incredible Jane. Your story shows me that absolutely anyone can have harmony in their body if they choose it and the road to living in a tender body is actually quite simple. I am very inspired by all you have shared.
It’s really inspiring to read how gentle and tender you’ve become with yourself Jane after all those years of pushing yourself and yes we do have to appreciate ourselves for the changes we’re prepared to make – people can show us the way but we have to be prepared to take the steps.
Wow, Jane- what an incredible transformation you have achieved- so unbelievable!
This blog is so inspiring to learn how you went about it.
-“It is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself.
Wow Jane – such an amazing transformation and all credit to you for choosing to make changes in your life. “What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself. And, as I sit here now in the bath, I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt in my life.” You are a living example of true self-empowerment which is definitely worth celebrating.
I love what you share Jane about appreciation. If we do not have those moments to stop and observe how we are truly living we can get so sucked into being busy and the self care and self nurturing part of our lives gets well and truly left out. Surprising what a good soak in the bath can inspire.
Jane, your blog continues to remind me that the process of stopping to appreciate the changes we are making in looking after ourselves and honouring ourselves as women, is crucial in the process of us truly accepting and committing to living in a way that is more natural for our bodies.
This blog is turly inspiring. I know it takes time, dedication and commitment. Commitment to ones self and to life, but it’s so worth it!. If only all women took the time to truly self-care and self-nurture, the way that you have. What a beauty-full world this would be!
Jane your blog is written so joyfully appreciative and from a deeply loving space within you. It’s really wonderful to read the celebration for how your body feels to you now in comparison with how it felt before. It feels like you totally surrendered into the truth of you – i’m very inspired by your loving choices for true change.
Black belt kickboxing and broken toes, that is seriously hard-core and un-natural. What an amazing transformation back to a tender, caring, woman completely in touch with all the sacredness of the female gender. thank you for sharing Jane.
You show us here Jane how simple it is to kick old habits that box and bruise us when we take time to self-nurture.
What a delight to read this blog Jane and feel you bathe in your own loveliness. Just as you binned this harsh shampoo, you left behind the old heavy ways to return to a beautiful, nurturing and simple self-loving you. We all have this opportunity to take a moment to appreciate and savour ourselves.
And this is what is very needed Joseph that we take time to appreciate and confirm ourselves for all the amazing changes which we have made in our life. And Janes story is a beautiful example.
A delight indeed Joseph. I’m glad you mentioned the binning of the harsh shampoo because it gave me a second chance to stop and have an honest look at my initial thoughts of “Could I really do that – that would be wasteful”. On reflection I know deep down that this is only an old ideal and belief and in truth it just boils down to how much we value ourselves. Thank you Jane and Joseph.
Jane, I can feel your tenderness as you lie in the bath- it is so palpable. It is such a gift to have another opportunity to connect again to our innermost and all the tenderness and love that is there.
And I thought men worked hard to keep their bodies hard. There is no greater way to deny our own connection with the Soul than to maintain a body that is rigid and hard.
The transformation is so deep that knowing you from your ‘present’ life, I cannot even fathom to imagine you in your ‘previous’ one. It is an amazing beautiful feeling to claim absolute ownership of the deep change you have gone through.
An amazing transformation Jane that is a credit to your commitment to connecting and listening to your body, and making changes in your life which are truly supportive and honouring of your self.
Wow! What an amazing transformation you have gone through Jane- so inspiring.
By your dedication to self and willingness to listen to your body you have made amazing changes. This shows great love for self, and I’m sure so many others around you benefit by feeling the tenderness from you instead of hardness.
And I got to enjoy my bath this morning because Jane’s article inspired me so much to feel my delicateness and tenderness. My plan for today is to make space and little moments to reconnect to the yummy feeling I just had with myself.
This could be me who you are talking about, I absolutely know the hardness when fighting with men to train self-defence. And I was pushing hard to be part of something powerful. The driven thing was to get good in something so I get seen for being great. I am not tall and small in shape as you are too, Jane. I have always wanted to be recognised somehow. Thanks for showing how you have made your changes, this is so needed out in the world where women are so hard and tuff.
In this world we are not shown what it means to self-love and self-care on the contrary we are ‘trained’ from young to toughen up and and learn to cope with life and everything that comes towards us and we even champion such ‘successful’ lives as yours has been Jane. This is crazy but we do not see it as crazy we think it is normal. I didn’t know what it really meant to be truly self-loving with myself until I came to Universal Medicine. I didn’t know how to be truly loving with myself, in fact I hadn’t even considered it and I had to learn it, step by step, slowly letting go of the hardness and tightness I was so used to living with. And I very much agree with you Jane, the loveliness and tenderness I have now in my body is very worth celebrating. Thank you.
Thank you Jane and Esther inspiring me too to celebrate myself, there is always a opportunity for it, we don’t need to wait for a valentine, xmas, birthday. Every day is perfect for our celebration.
I have enjoyed re-visiting this blog today Jane. It feels like a ‘breath of fresh air’ has filled my body with the reading your words and feeling how the choices you have made that have supported you let go of the hardness of a super fit kick boxer to all that you are now – beautiful, tender, delicate, strong and powerful woman. The inspiration offered by Serge Benhayon’s presentations are beyond measure.
I like how you mentioned that we think we are successful fitting into the ideals of how you should be in life yet inside hurting and having to deal with a body that is not coping, all for an outside image. We have been sold a big lie.
Living the seemingly healthy life, yet the body is in complete stress. Its amazing how the world lives and does not put the two together, that possibly the way we are living is affecting our body. The harsh manner in which we treat it, through so called fitness is actually have a reverse affect on us.
Jane I reread your blog today, “What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” It is so important to truly appreciate the changes that we have made, and how much of a difference our choices have made and continue to make.
I do keep coming back to this blog Jane and reading with such inspiration. To read how you were in life and choices you made, the hardness, the numbing, all things that I too have felt within myself. To move to a totally different way of being, knowing in each moment we do have a choice to change things for ourselves.
That is certainly something to celebrate Jane. Such seemingly simple life choices make such huge differences to our quality of life. A complete turn around.
Yes simply getting off the treadmill and and making new choices can lead to huge changes in our life.
I love your anology of simply getting off the treadmill Gail. We just need to stop, look and listen.
Jane, your blog is an awesome, a great inspiration for all women showing how we can all reclaim back our natural and innermost beauty.
The love that you have chosen to bring into your life after being inspired by Serge and Universal Medicine is absolutely worth celebrating. With true commitment to listen to our bodies and make changes based on the connection we deepen with ourselves, it is phenomenal the extent to which people can turn their life around and into something that then inspires others.
The inspiration is simply us knowing, being and expressing from the amazing quality we have inside
From reading this it strikes me that we can be so entrenched in our own lives and the things affecting them that we are not able to see the possibilities to make real changes through our choices. This seems to lead to a greater drive to find the answers but just more disregard for ourselves in doing so, when it is the exact opposite which is required. Thank you for sharing this Jane and thank you to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and its practitioners for shining a light on a way of returning to a true way of living through bringing love and regard for ourselves, and in so doing others, in our daily choices.
The stark contrast between the way you lived and the hardness, to the tender deeply honoring way you refer to taking a long nurturing bath is very tangible, and shows us all the love-less unconscious way in which we drive our bodies, until they shout us, by stopping us in our tracks by illness, injury or dis-ease.
I felt the warmth and tender-ness you now have and are choosing in your life, and that has inspired me to melt away more of the levels of hardness and protection in own body and life, thank you for your love-filled blog Jane.
Beautifully expressed Thomas and I agree with every word – Jane has inspired me to do some melting also.
Jane your blog was incredible to read. To read the tenderness in your words and the levels of self care you go to now it seems imaginable that you chose to “kick box’. What resonated was your willingness to look honestly at what wasn’t working and from this take steps to make changes that has obviously transformed you. This is very inspiring to read.
Hear hear, loved reading this blog Jane, how you have turned your life around to reconnect to your amazing delicateness and who you truly are.
Thank you Jane for sharing your amazing turnaround, in choosing to treat your self with love, tenderness and gentleness as the beautiful woman you are. A real inspiration.
It is actually all about the quality we live that determines our true level of success.
Me again – I had to come back to say how amazing it would be to see photographs alongside this sharing. I can only imagine how physically different you must feel before and now. Celebrating your choices Jane – and who you are today.
Really totally remarkable Jane to be so different the old ways are actually imposible to imagine – I can relate from my own total life change (though with different elements). Thank God for Universal Medicine and thank Heaven for Serge and Natalie Benhayon and for Esoteric Women’s Health and the choices made to change – an know your tender, beautiful and delicate self.
Wow wow wow Jane – what a complete retransformation to come back to the incredibly delicate lady you are today – and who was always there – even under the black belt kick boxer. I say wow also because I have the joy of knowing you and absolutely cannot imagine or conceive of you kickboxing – unbelievable how we can get so far from our naturalest ways. A very gorgeous sharing.
Jane I really enjoyed re-reading your blog as it reminded me that it is up to each of us to make the choices in our life, we are the ones who can turn things around and choose to live differently. I am inspired by the fact that you have taken the time to get to know what is true for you, as it encourages me to trust what I know is true for me. Life is what we make it and I know that each day I choose to live more lovingly the more tender and loving I and my life become.
“I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt in my life” Wow this is priceless – something amazing to celebrate – so many gifts come from Universal Medicine presentations, and it is like passing them on to humanity when we truly live and appreciate those gifts and honour ourselves in the way described here.
You are so right Simon – this is priceless and something amazing to celebrate. I look forward to the day that I can claim that “I am the most tender, gentle and most loving I have felt in my life”.
Thank you Jane for sharing your transformational journey. It never stops to amaze me how what is ‘sold’ and perceived as being successful is so contrary to what actually brings us a true health and joy.
True Jonathan, we are sold many stories of health and I cannot see it working anywhere in the world no matter what country.
This really rings true for me too Jane, ‘When I met Serge and other Universal Medicine Practitioners was when I first realised that it was possible to make real changes in my life’. As a young woman I suffered with IBS, I went to see many doctors and when this didn’t work alternative therapists, none of these worked, it was when i started to see Universal Medicine practitioners and was inspired to truly take care of myself and make changes in my life that the digestive problems started to clear up naturally.
What an amazing transformation Jane, to think all the things you mentioned are absolutely championed in our society, the kick boxing, cycling up mountains, press-ups and sit-ups, regular jogging. If you are doing all of these things then you are ‘healthy’ and leading a ‘balanced’ lifestyle. But it is rarely discussed, what is the quality we are doing these things in, living in. Because yes I can relate, we can be ‘doing’ all this exercise, but still be suffering anxiety or depression, we can have lousy relationships and of course, not have a relationship with ourselves. Your transformation is truly inspiring.
So true Raegan, to be sporty and fit has nothing to offer comparing to truly nourishing the body with tenderness and gentle exercises or even having a bath is contributing to health in a big way. Gosh I was very much in that spin to prove that I am fit and fitting into the society and consciousness of the sportiness. I feel better with myself in not pushing myself anymore, but I am keeping up with regular exercising in the connection with my body, that feels very supporting and nurturing.
So true and some very pertinent points you raise here Raegan. We need to openly discuss, at every given opportunity each and every day, that the essential ingredient of leading a truly healthy and balanced lifestyle is the QUALITY we are doing things in – the way we are living.
This is a wonderful change around of your way of living Jane and so inspiring. I agree this is key to making changes, ‘Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself.’
Very inspiring Jane, how you changed your life by making more self-loving choices. Especially I like your choice of introducing a rest day at the weekends – that feels so good.
Such a great difference in the way you live your life. It would be great to see a before and after picture of you 🙂 To go from such a hard and driven way of living to a delicate way of living is pure incredible.
Yes agree with this – a picture tells a thousand words apparently; but one cannot deny that our faces tell a story that’s hard to misread.
Hi oliver, our faces certainly show us how we and also others have been living. It is amazing to start seeing so many people within the community of esoteric students appearing younger as they get older. This defies and goes against everything that we know. To know that we have an amazing well of vitality inside us that we can connect to and live from is amazing.
That’s so true, what you say here Jane, so many things are possible when we start truly loving, nurturing, and caring for ourselves and our bodies. True vitality, and effervescence comes back into a way of living, and true deep quality care!
Jane such a lovely blog I’m re reading it today, it makes a lot of sense when you say you have made many small changes, for me that feels key. As a result our whole life and body can change and, when we build those changes into our every day Livingness and keep them consistent, we are then able to add a few more, without overloading ourselves.
This is a great point Sally. Jane’s inspiring blog is showing us that by committing to oursleves bit by bit, we can make profound changes to our lives which result in profound and remarkable changes in our bodies. By using this gentle approach we do not get overwhelmed and can gradually introduce more and more changes.
What an amazing blog Jane, I can relate to what you shared. Having met you I find it hard to imagine you doing all that, let alone kick boxing! It goes to show that that hardness is the shell that covers the tenderness that’s our true expression of being a woman.
So true Natalie, I know Jane now for a while and the way she feels now is so delicate and precious but powerful in that and I like the way Jane dresses herself, she celebrates herself really.
Knowing you now Jane, its hard to imagine you putting yourself through all that unloving treatment, broken toes and all that training when now all you see is this gorgeous, loving gentle woman whose dedication to self and life is an inspiration for all.
What beautiful reflection Jane of your transformation. It’s even hard to imagine you as a kick boxer as the way you tell your story has so much gentleness to it. And a celebration definitely to claim YOU made the changes to the quality of your health, your lifestyle and returned to a deep and precious appreciation of yourself. Now you’re the inspiration. Thank you.
Yes Jane to read your transformation from of super fit driven woman and the hardness it implies to this delicate and tender being you are now is a great example of life choices and their consequences.
For the past year or so I have been working out with a personal trainer and have been aware to some extent of listening to my body when exercising and feeling what feels true to the body and where the mind wants to push. Mostly I have gotten a good handle on this and it feels great listening and adjusting. However, the one thing I always enjoyed and have not ‘given up’ was our little boxing exercises, myself with gloves and my trainer with paddle. It wasn’t a boxing match, it was arm exercises and I loved them, they always made me laugh too. I had pondered over the months if that was truly loving yet did not let go of it. Then, a few weeks ago, we trained outside and did the boxing for 15 minutes. At the end of it, as I stood there taking the gloves off – I saw a little tiny baby bird lying in the grass next to me, it had fallen out of the nest high up in the tree. As I saw it I immediately knew it was telling me that by exercising in this way, I was ‘killing’ the delicateness and tenderness within me. I shared this ‘reading’ with my trainer, and since then we now have dropped it and exchanged this part with something much more gentle yet equally as effective, and funnily, I don’t miss it at all.
What a beautiful story, it is great how we get these messages when we are open to them.
This story is remarkable Jane where you have shared the ability to identify so honestly what you have felt was harming and what brings us back to the true preciousness as a woman.
Karina, I love the little messages life brings to us. Sometimes we ignore them, but there are always more occasions popping up to help us consider, observe and take an other direction, or abandon all together certain facets of our lives that is not supportive.
I am glad I didn’t meet you in a dark alley all those years ago. But seriously what a transformation you have undertaken. It is a credit to your long term commitment Jane to become more and more true to yourself and therefore the same inspiration to others. Well done for simply going there and for your continued dedication to working on whatever holds you back.
I know Dean. How true is that. Although you were facing a health crisis Jane, there are so many people who just keep on going until they literally cannot take another step. That is worth celebrating, hugely, not just with a bath but in every moment.
Absolutely an inspiration Jane – to be honoured, celebrated and appreciated. .
Yes many people do keep soldiering on as they say, but Jane has shown that by truly taking the time to stop and listen to her bodies sharing’s so much truth and honesty can be learnt and honoured.
“Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself.” You are you own best friend Jane, its beautiful to hear how these small changes are there to support you to continuously honour yourself.
Jane I have known you for quite a few years now, and I have to say you are a constant inspiration to me. The very down to earth and practical way in which you have turned your health and your life around is awe-inspiring. Your dedication to not only yourself, but to others is palpable in what you have shared. It is an absolute joy to know you.
Jane I am re reading your blog this evening, today it has brought to my awareness how much of my life I lived in hardness, Kickboxing was not my thing, but mustering and handling cattle was. As I sit and feel where I am today as opposed to how I was then there is a marked difference in my body. While working hard I never felt any connection to my body, other than it having to do what I wanted it to do. I too was so exhausted some days that even on waking from sleep, I was unable to get up. This now does not happen in my life. I feel a connection to my body that is rich and honouring that truly supports me to care for it now. Much less telling it what to do and much more being guided by it.
Thanks Jane, I had not considered for a long time to plan a rest day on my days off. I still find that I am doing things and even though I might lie down and have a rest or a sleep, I had not considered having a rest day. This is something I feel would be good to stop and just do nothing. Thanks again.
The last paragraph says the most to me Jane, it was you who made all of this happen through your choices and the appreciation of how far you have come is beautiful. Being able to appreciate myself and how far I have come is easy when I get comments from other people, but not so easy for me to do for myself, although it has come a long way, I can feel that a deeper appreciation of the man I am know is needed. Thanks Jane, this is inspirational for me.
For me being tender is the ultimate form of being open and unreserved in the world, I often hold people, situations, relationships and humanity to ransom with the calculation that I can only be tender in certain situations but it is through allowing myself to be tender that I can truly feel myself expressing that no matter what you do or I will continue being me, and being love
This is lovely Oliver,
I too have felt the true power of Living, being tender with myself. It is impossible to not be as equally tender with others.
Most people would agree that the way the world is does not work, certainly if we are considering everyone equally. So perhaps tenderness is one way we can change how we are, as the process you describe Jane is a beautiful way to be more loving not just of yourself but also more open to others too. Tenderness inspires tenderness and I observe that in little boys who need to be shown that it is ok to cherish their natural gentleness and not succumb to the harshness that is our inbuilt survival mechanism.
A great blog Jane. So often what is seen as ‘healthy’ for us , is not what we think. If we push our body with exercise and work, as well meaning as it may seem, it is extremely hardening and harmful for the body.
Wow, Jane I would never have believed that such a transformation of lifestyle and health is possible had you not shared your amazing transformation to a beautiful, tender, loving woman that you are today. Very inspiring indeed.
Wow Jane, I relate deeply to your pre Universal Medicine life I found many parallels to my own. Thank you for the opportunity to revisit that place and again feel the level of loveless disregard I too was living in. Its great to take a moment to stop and deeply appreciate life now. From the hard drive behind calluses and broken toes to the gentle tenderness of a body full of love, this is a revelation for all.
Jane I enjoyed reading the lengths you will go to now to honour yourself with a self care routine. What a remarkable turn around from Kick Boxing to warm nurturing baths. Showing us that anything is possible.
Your sharing about your life with a change from a female black belt kick boxer to Tenderness should be printed and be read as a true success-story in every waiting room… Your life has been very successful in the eyes of society, but through your changes, there is so much wideness, tenderness, beauty and foundation to be felt – it is a true miracle and awesome to read and to feel and to be inspired of.
I agree Stefanie, stories like this needs to be shared, good thing it is in a blog. The transformation from a good idealistic life to the life you live now to some may think wasn’t your old life better. But when you scratch the surface of the anxiety. It is obvious that you have made a beautiful recovery.
‘What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes’ – it is indeed empowering when we realise that we are the ones that choose the way in which we can and do live. And the more we honor how we feel, honor our bodies the more we deepen our connection to ourselves. And the love we choose to connect to and live with blesses us in return with immense joy from within. I agree that this is worth appreciating and celebrating. Thank you Jane for this beautiful reminder of how powerful and equally important it is to stop and deeply appreciate the loving changes we have made for ourselves.
Yes Carola, beautiful to appreciate, and a reminder for every day! It can be so easy to become swept up in the what is needed to be done – in rush and rigour of the day. In appreciating who we truly are, so delicate and tender, there is the possibility of being that in every moment.
Amazing transformation Jane. I can relate to the body changes you have experience. When I become more tender with myself and continue to increase the depth of the connection and with the support of continual of sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners I now feel everything and spend a lot more time truly connected and continually deepening my connection to the amazing strength of the sweat delicate woman I am and living in the power of being me.
Wow Jane, this was intense to read. Whatever possesses us as human beings to treat our body as though it is simply a machine? When you sit back and look at it with fresh eyes, it is completely ludicrous that we think that punishing our body through extreme sport is actually worthwhile. When I was in high school I knew a girl who was a high level runner. It was also common knowledge that she stopped having periods, so intense was her training. As I understand it, this is not a rare occurrence for high level female athletes that there body starts to shut down in this way. Surely this is not healthy, and surely it makes sense that when our bodies respond in this way, they are showing us that they are not being treated with the respect they require.
This is awesomely inspiring for me to read..”that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself.”
It’s hard to imagine the life I lived before I made the choice to start listening to my body. It had to shake me up a bit to get me to listen but I soon figured out I had to address my fear that I was going to end up tougher and harder than the men. Thanks to Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health I have been inspired to make more loving choices for myself and my days are now filled with absolute joy as I learn to connect to a love that I know in my heart to be true. Your blog Jane reminds me there is much to appreciate. Thank you.
Wow Jane, what a story. I love how much appreciation you have found for yourself. I caught myself having a moment of appreciaton for just how far I have come the other day, and it felt great.
I have found Elodie, taking a moment to appreciate myself is so hugely supportive, and makes a huge difference in all my relationships as I easily appreciate everyone more. The more I do it the easier it is to feel.
This is an incredible story and in the way you were living, one many women will probably relate to. I know I can not that I took part in kick boxing but that I was living in absolute disconnection to my body and how it was being affected by the choices I was making and it was when I attended Universal Medicine events that I started to treat myself differently. Having read your blog, and knowing you now Jane and the size of your frame, it is unfathomable how you drove and lived in your body in the way you have shared. What is a miracle though and a gift for us all is that you made the choice to turn this around and return to being the beautiful, gentle and tender woman you are today! Thank you!
I also can relate to changes in my body, definitely having changed the types of period pain i get. I used to have seriously bad pain, but due to lifestyle changes, I really don’t get them at all anymore. If i do, i can look back at where i was, what had i been doing that previous month, how had i been with myself. So much more supportive.
i loved your ‘questions’ Jane – ‘how did this happen?’ A beautiful reaffirming read and inspiring. The shifts that have happened in my life have happened so quietly and gently make it hard to pinpoint any one moment. Being constantly self-aware and observing myself has enabled me to re-imprint the many ideals, beliefs, ways of moving, my breathing, thought processes that are happening all the time. To be vigilant in nominating my inclination to compare myself to others and label myself as less, to clock any moments of jealousy are a constant in my life. I am a student of myself – living and reminding myself always that it is Gods plan not mine and to trust that. Thank you for your blog it has encouraged much reflection and clarification.
Great to read about how you turned around a lifestyle that had you a slave to it instead of bathing in your own beauty! Universal Medicine doesn’t ask you to do anything but be responsible for your own choices and you are living proof of the benefits.
An extraordinary story Jane thank you for sharing your appreciation. Yes the changes you’ve made are remarkable and worth celebrating in and out of the bath 🙂 For me that is what inspires me the most. Appreciation can often be something that quite often gets missed, yet I can feel to do this I am cutting myself short. It feels to me that its in the appreciation for the great changes that are made that somehow solidifies them.
Wow Jane, security is such a ILL-lusion, we can look like we are doing so well; the boyfriend, the car, job, friends and money. Today from the bathtub i can feel your deep appreciation for yourself – its super inspiring.
100’s of press ups and sit-ups. I can hardly do 10 haha. Its amazing how we can return to being gentle and tender with ourselves and not having such huge expectations and then look back at how we used to be and go “that was so silly”, I sometimes think about that, how silly some f the things I did that I thought were improving me but really I didn’t feel enough as I was so always needed to better myself. Its so great to return to feeling enough without needing to achieve anything first. phew
Jane knowing you as the beautiful, tender, loving, powerful woman that you are who is so full of life and vivacious, it’s amazing to read about how you used to live without taking good care of yourself.
I love how you choose to be inspired by Serge Benhayon and others in the same way as you inspire others now, myself included. I also deeply appreciate how you came about making these loving choices by giving yourself permission to trust your own feelings and giving it a go to make changes for yourself.
This is really supportive to read as I am finding pockets of not trusting myself to handle staying with feelings when I can actually give myself permission to trust myself 100%.
Great to read this again Jane and it has prompted me to appreciate some lovely changes, inspired by you, that I have made since the last time I read it. The potential for the deepening of these qualities is limitless, so beautiful to feel that and allow for what is next.
I loved reading your blog Jane. Thanks for taking the time to share it. It was great to read that even tough it looked like you never really needed to ” turn your life around” – that actually all the things that looked like they were spot on actually weren’t it.
I bet you are enjoying things being so different – and I’d take a Bath over kicking and being kicked by someone any time!
I’m not sure who that woman was who did the black belt kick boxing but the woman you are today Jane is exactly the opposite. Extraordinarily tender, delicate and honouring of herself.
It is Shirley-Ann and Jane is one Women who just keeps on blossoming and is a continuous inspiration.
Jane it is very interesting to read how you allowed yourself to become the tender and even more gorgeous woman you are today. Indeed it does start with a choice first or a willingness to discard what we can feel is not us, and what is not allowing us to feel loving in our lives. It is so paradoxical that often the things we hold on to the tightest are the things doing us the greatest amount of harm. Thank you Jane for all you have expressed here.
Reading your article one word stood out for me. Tenderness. If you asked me years ago if I was tender or could feel tenderness within my body I probably would have laughed and would not have an idea of what you were talking about. From knowing Serge Benhayon and through attending Universal Medicine workshops, courses, presentations as well as seeing Universal Medicine Practitioners my life has, like your, completely turned around for the better. Over the last few days I have really been appreciating the tenderness in my hands even when placing them on a chair and the tenderness in my fingertips, body and being. So now if someone asked me about tenderness I would have so much to say because I feel this within me.
Dear Jane thank You for sharing this blog with us it inspires me to be more patient and trust in the process of these changes and I also noticed to work more on the appreciation of what I already changed. It seems when there is a new layer that I forget all the layers that I could already get rid off. So today reading your blog and connecting more to myself and letting me feel also the sadness that is there to be felt at the moment, that was also stored in my body, feels like a great support. Thank You. With love Nadine
Beautiful to read about your amazing transformation! Thank you Jane.
Amazing Jane,
Your dedication and commitment to really, honestly nurturing yourself is clearly felt and very inspirational, thank you.
Appreciating our tenderness is such a beautiful gift for ourselves but can be hard to do.
I too spent years trying to be someone I was not by pushing myself to be the fittest person, the one with a good figure, the best manager, an efficient wife and mother and all the while I was suppressing me and so all those people I worked with and my family did not get the real me for many years.
But now …..
I am feeling how tender and delicate I am and this is the real me and all those around me can feel this!
When women appreciate the gift they bring in their natural, gentle, nurturing way and honour this in all they do women will see a change not only in their health but their relationships, their vitality and their self worth. That will be something to truly celebrate.
Through an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest we really can unfold so much hardness and past choices to allow our true selves to blossom forth with tenderness and truth. Thank you Jane.
oh yeh! The level of self love that your explaining is absolutely amazing. The level of care and soothing that your body would be experiencing would wipe out any tension that you had from your working week. How our bodies long for this kind of self love and self care. Beautifully shared Jane.
What a transformation Jane and to celebrate it in a lovely bath, taking exquisite care of yourself is delightful. I like how you take time to express your gentleness in everything you do.
Reading this Jane is such a great reminder that you don’t have to exercise like a mad women to feel strong and empowered, that you can connect with yourself, be gentle, tender and honour yourself, these are such an amazing feeling to have and appreciate all the changes made in your life. Feels great.
Thanks Jane, truly remarkable change you have implemented in your life. To be brave enough to look at all of your choices, rather than hone in on one thing that you thought was the ‘problem’ . This is very rare and inspiring way to make a true change in ones life as a whole.
Its possible that society’s idea of a picture of health has become majorly distorted.
There is also a culture that champions woman pushing themselves beyond what they are physically designed to do. I still get the sense that some woman feel like they have to try measure up to men at everything. If you put it in prospective to me its like men feeling like they have to figure out a way to get pregnant and carry a child, there bodies are simply not designed to do that. If that was accomplished it does not celebrate the differences between the two sexes and appreciate the fact that men and woman have a huge amount to bring equally but that does not mean we bring it in the same way. Love your blog Jane.
Love your point Sarah, about celebrating the differences between men and women, the delicate and precious strength of a woman, gentle in her nurturing ways and the gorgeous, tender strength of a man, and the natural way his power protects and holds in support. An equality to appreciate in each other.
Perhaps the appreciation for another can only be truly felt if we hold appreciation for self, globally we struggle to apply this love to self.
This is so beautiful to read and feel Jane, it is incredible how we can live in a way that is so opposite to who we really are and convince ourselves that we are ‘ok’, it is beautiful that you made so many changes and now live in a much more loving, true, honest way. my story is similar to yours so i can very much relate to what you have written.
Yes indeed, that is so crazy that we are living in a way that is opposite to who we really are, so obvious a tender lady doing kickboxing – there must have much overwriting the signs of the body to be so obvious ignorant to the truth. I have done this self defence hard tuff women thing too. It feels so horrible now from the tender women I am today.
I love reading this Jane, such an amazing transition, and one which I relate to easily, both the earlier years and now.
My earlier years were spent working hard on a farm in often very cold and wet or windy weather, driving a big school bus on narrow rural roads and often having to change the huge tyres myself if they went flat, riding horses on terrifyingly steep country which frightened me enormously when I first moved there. Amongst this trying to be all things to all people. I hardened myself hugely to do these things and forgot completely my womanly body.
I know that I could have done some of these things in a much more loving and less hardening way if I had the awareness then that I have now, and some it would have been better to have asked for help with or not done at all. I too am a tiny woman but I lifted heavy sheep over fences at times and felt pretty proud that I had done it!
This of course had a tremendous toll on my body and I was in constant pain, with injuries and arthritis and eventually in deep resentment of my body for ‘letting me down’.
Like you Jane I am inhabiting my body in a completely different way and have so much respect and love for it now, feeling the delicacy of it and the tenderness of my touch when I care for me or another. I feel totally supported by my body now, which soaks up the care and nurturing it receives and delivers back 100 fold. Pain and arthritis completely gone. I love a nurturing bath too.
What a huge blessing it was (and still is) when we began to become aware of ourselves through the inspiration provided by Universal Medicine and the wonderful Women in Livingness.
mmm your making me feel like taking a bath!! What an amazing transformation… from being very hard and tough with your kick boxing to now being so tender, gentle and honouring your fragility. It’s gorgeous! and so inspiring. I was think how lovely it would be to live with you as I was reading this, keep up this amazing work – you will inspire so many women.
What an amazing turnaround Jane from a hardened black belt kick boxer to a tender, beautiful woman that you are now. I know what it must of been like because my boys were both junior black belt in karate. Very inspiring read.
Wow Jane – who would have thought you could have made such a turnaround in your life! But it is great testament to what can be achieved when we simply make different choices and the one you have made to now self-care and love yourself. I love how you say it has been YOU who has made these changes,with an openness to be honest. I am developing my self care also, and the importance in this development to be honest with where I am really at can be super challenging. Well done Jane …!
What I picked up from your comment Gina and from Jane’s article (thank you Jane) is that it is actually very easy to make different choices. We may think we already make the choices that are easiest, because they tend to be made automatically. Yet so much energy goes into, for example, not getting enough sleep and therefore having to have a lot of coffee the next day and what our body has to go through to detox; or into overeating or working and the energy it takes for the body to repair itself and revitalise. In understanding this the choice to be self caring and loving becomes more approachable because it is actually the choices that conserve energy and bring more health and wellbeing.
So true Simon, it is just really a matter of checking in with ones self to discern what is needed. And you said it beautifully clear and precise: “…the choice to be self caring and loving becomes more approachable because it is actually the choices that conserve energy and bring more health and wellbeing.”
You make it sound so simple Simon, and indeed it is. Making self-loving choices just needs a commitment and dedication to self-first and then humanity. Because when we heal, everyone heals and that’s very powerful, and this is where we all need to appreciate ourselves for what we bring to the world and if we are truly living in love then the possibilities for healing are endless.
And I find that there are levels of this so one thing at a time and this allows us to deal with things without being overwhelmed.
Maybe if we had asked Jane back when she were a kick boxer if she was well and healthy and caring for herself she would have answered yes, with a body too hard to really feel what it might have been trying to tell her for some time. Taking a stop and being honest with ourselves, as you say Gina, can be self challenging but life changing.
Yes gorgeous blog to read of how you went from hardness to gentleness and to celebrate the loveliness and the tenderness that you are. Very gorgeous. Thanks for the reminder that we are all lovely and tender and worth celebrating.
I think it was a wise choice to stop the kickboxing.
I love how this article shares that regardless of how far away we have walked from who we truly are, that when we make the choice to return, to step back through all that we have chosen, the doors open wide and we are supported all the way.
Jane, I can totally relate. I was once a black belt in karate, and I would train against men and I had to harden my body to deflect their kicks and punches. Your blog has brought up many memories of how hard you had to be, yet how upset I was feeling on the inside because this truely wasn’t me. You’ve made me aware and I to should appreciate how tender I have become.
Great to read Jane of the polar opposites of where you were at then and how you are now in relation to the deep care you have for yourself and your body.
A great blog Jane. Beautiful that you gave yourself the time to be aware of how far you have come back to yourself and how far away from yourself that you were.
I love how you have included patience in the qualities of self you appreciate as you turned your life around, Jane. It’s not a quality that is referenced very often and is certainly one I find I am needing to befriend. When we can feel where we are headed, oftentimes patience is shown the door – only to be re invited in after we’ve fallen down a couple of times because of its absence. At least, that is what I have observed within myself! So….patience, do please take a permanent seat in my lounge here…..
It was joy to feel how you have turned your life around to be a true refection of the tender, gentle amazing woman you are. It give me confirmation that this is possible for us all, thank you Jane for sharing you awesome story.
Such a contrast painted here. It’s wonderful to read about the changes one has made that are so genuinely felt; both by the reader and Jane.
What a beautiful celebration of how far you have come – a lovely bath and feeling your tenderness. When we live life in simplicity and enjoy simple pleasures we somehow do not need all the complications that life can bring when we live life in a hard way, that is only about proving who we are by the achievements in our life. We only need to appreciate how gorgeous it can feel to lay in the bath and connect to the beautiful women that we find within.
The sessions and support I receive from Serge Benhayon and all the Universal Medicine Practitioners is invaluable but I know that what is going to ultimately support true change to happen is wether I choose to integrate what I have learnt into my day to day livingness. This takes dedication and commitment on my behalf, I deeply appreciate that I have made these choices and turned my live around.
Lovely to read this . a) to appreciate how far I have come too. I had forgotten how hard my feet used to be and how dry my skin was before I started to really care for myself on a daily basis. b) I also am not sleeping well at the moment and this I know is up to me to change by looking more closely at how I could care for myself more. Thank you Jane for this simple support.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes” only we ourselves can make the commitment to change, I love this blog thank you
Magic, just magic, the appreciation and care for yourself is palpable. some choices to really appreciate Jane, nice work.
This is gorgeous to read Jane. I can feel from your story how much you have changed and how much you were throughly enjoying yourself in the bath!
What you have shared truly is something to appreciate. I loved your lines “What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself,” It is that dedication to healing and being honest which is key, i have felt this and deeply appreciate that about myself also. My story is similar, but different if that makes sense, i have my life story, with ailments and emotional issues as long as your arm, before being going along to Unimed presentations and practitioners. But now have such a deep amazing love for myself and others that i just didn’t think possible. Appreciation is something that i feel each day and have that as part of my daily rhythm as it is so important to feel that for ourselves.
I loved reading this blog again Jane and can relate to the martial arts, cycling across deserts, backpacking up and down mountain ranges and excessive exercise. When I look back it makes me wonder how I could put my body through all of that, what was I thinking? I am still finding my way back to being gentle an tender with myself but I know that I am nowhere near how I used to be and can feel the benefit everyday of not being rough with myself.
This is a very good question around wondering how we can put our bodies through this and it doesn’t just apply to sport but all aspects of life. I am left wondering therefore how intense is the discomfort in the body in the first place that leads us to these extreme ways to try and numb that and can see the absolute disregard in not addressing this initial discomfort and understand then why the body can end up in such a mess, whether through illness, disease or injury. I know the way I was living in extreme disregard was stopped with cancer and looking back wonder how did I carry on treating my body as I did?
From kick boxing and the lifestyle that you were living back then to the one you are living now is an amazing transformation Jane. Goes to show with commitment and dedication we can turn our lives around at any stage if we so choose.
I can’t imagine a young woman of 5ft kickboxing a man of 6ft, that must have taken a lot of energy to do that, no wonder you were exhausted Jane. The turn around you have made is such an inspiration your life feels much more gentle and loving now.
Love this Jane, Upon reading your journey through toughness to tenderness reminds me so much about how I would endure ocean swims through rough seas and believe if I can pick my way through the waves without fear even when it was icy cold. I convinced myself that I would survive anything ! the day would present me. Mind you some days I was so high and then there were days I was so bone tired and numb.
Thanks to my journey with Serge and Universal Medicine, through tenderness and many long warm baths later I can really appreciate this deeper connection with my self, life has become a celebration rather than a challenge.
I enjoyed reading your story Jane, in this age where women are supposed to match the men and be more and more physical it is great to read of a woman who is treating herself tenderly and inspiring other woman and men to be more gentle and loving also. While it is everyone free will to choose how they wish to live, the way you describe treating yourself seems far more attractive than having that intense push to always be looking for more.
“…with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around…” I love this Jane.
It is beautiful to note that we are not hapless beings being tossed around in an uncaring Universe, even though we may sometimes feel that way. We do have the choice to change our lives and it is through having inspiring examples, such as your gorgeous self, who present to the world that it is entirely possible to make true and lasting changes, and how glorious and amazing we ALL actually are.
Yes Jane, and our choices from moment to moment are ever evolving, once a moment has passed we can make the choice to evolve further or remain stuck on old patterns of behaviour – the choice is ours, and ours alone.
Gorgeous Jane – and no doubt you are now inspiring others with your self-love, care, honesty and tenderness 🙂
It is important that we are truthful about how our lives feel not how they look or whether they tick the boxes set up for us by a media driven society. To be nurturing and loving with ourselves is a blessing.
Looking like we have it all is a trick, an illusion that is really a trap to keep us from knowing an inner truth, keeping us too busy to stop and feel . The person who has it all is the one that knows their inner most essence. They carry that wherever they are and are never reliant on what others approve of or how things should look.
It is so beautiful that you have found this Jane, something that is eternally lasting is truly having it all.
Wow, I’m not really sure what to say. Your transformation is well worth writing about and sharing with the world. You had a very comfortable life on the surface, it would have been easy just to keep pushing through life the way you were but instead you decided to make some loving choices. Now your life has changed and your beauty is grand. Amazing….
Beautiful Jane, isn’t it interesting how we see the life you lived before you met Sege Benhayon is so much celebrated as being successful even though your body was telling you other wise. I know I did for long see people who live like that as successful but I now changed my feel of what true success means and I measure true success by how loving I am living with myself which is a work in progress, a very awesome one.
Boy, have you come a long way! Wow Jane you are awesome, to now writing all these inspiring and real blogs. It is great to read how by making these changes anyone can turn their lives around.
Celebrating the truly beautiful and tender women that I am used to be a foreign thing for me. Now it is coming more and more natural to me and there is so much to celebrate.
Wow Jane what you have shared is certainly something to celebrate and to inspire other women who are caught in a similar way of being.
Yes Sharon, but it is only ourselves that trap ourselves in that web of illusion, but knowing there is a way to free ourselves is empowering and powerful beyond measure.
Simply magic to read Jane! I can feel you have truly embodied the words you have written and this provides me with a lovely sense of support as I endeavour to be more gentle, patient and loving with myself.
This is so beautiful to read Jane, what amazing changes you have made in your life, definitely worth much appreciation, ‘What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.’
What a great bath Jane and what a great turnaround. Knowing you now I cannot even remotely imagine you kickboxing! Wow! When I recall the life I used to live full of compromise and disregard I am with you all the way when you say “What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for showing us the way.
I can relate too Kathleen of living a life full of compromise which was only ever at the expense of my self. Jane’s story is very inspirational and a practical description of how when we make self-loving choices based on regard and care for self first, that we can still participate fully in life and care for others.
Wow Jane what a turn around!!! I am fully inspired by you . . . Thank you so much for being so honest. You wrote: “What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” That is all I need to know.
Wow Jane, what a transformative process of from abuse to now love. Absolutely beautiful to see and feel just how the choice to start to deeply care for ourselves can shift the very essence of how we feel inside and live as a woman – soaking in all our glory, with bubbles or without (!) Awesome inspiration Jane.
So true Jane, it is us, step by step, choice by choice who has to make all the changes to experience the love that we have all been looking for.
‘Step by step, choice by choice’, such a gentle way of change. It really is that simple.
It really is possible to turn your body around, I have experienced this in a similar way to you Jane by making adjustments here and there to diet, sleep, and saying how I feel. This has changed how I feel dramatically, and as you say, helped me build a very solid relationship with myself.
What a lovely Transformation Jane. But what I want to know is, how can an indian take-away curry put you to sleep?
I just connected in this blog with just how much or body can be telling us we are not so ‘successful’ at looking after it, yet we still can ignore it and choose to drive ourselves from an ideal how to live. For me this is an ongoing truth that keeps presenting itself in so many different ways, so it feels supportive to read about in this blog site from many perspectives.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” This is great Jane what you say here is the best recipe for true healing.
The picture you painted Jane of how you were, is one that is often championed in the world today -“to have it all with work, cars, fitness, money, partners, friends”. But what you shared so honestly is that it is so often ‘just on the surface’ and below is where the real stuff is going on. I felt your blog ask me to reflect on that picture (and to explore the cost of this) and I can feel the urge to ‘get more real’ in life. I was chatting to someone recently that I did not know, and they responded quite frankly about a personal topic and gosh I loved it. It is so rare that people actually tell you what is really going on for them (drama kings & queens aside for a moment 😉 ). It felt much more real and when people (or I do that), I can often feel the relief in the air in that moment. I know when I started sharing with people that I suffered from anxiety – it opened a whole new conversation and one much more honest.
And then to read how you have done a complete 360 on your life and decided to look at what was ‘under the surface’ and with self-love, self-care and self-honesty take yourself from black belt boxer to the tender amazing gorgeous woman you are today – is deeply inspiring. It shows the world there is another way to be – we can paint another picture for ourselves.
Jane I love the way you have shared so honestly your experience. I too did the same with extreme weight exercise and now that I have become aware of the importance of listening to my body. I have found a greater appreciation of the tender woman inside.
Reading this blog again, which I’m just blown away by your transformation Jane, it shows that wherever we are at or whatever we have done in life it can be so simply turned around with a choice to start taking gentle care of self, love and be patient with the process.
Beautifully said Aimee, wherever we are at or whatever we have done in life can be so simply turned around. We always have a choice. Building from being gentle and caring towards ourselves to treating ourselves with the love that we are looking for, because we long for that love we have forgotten we are.
I had forgotten I was that love , Esther, but since being reminded, i am learning to express that love in self care for myself, which spiils out to others too. And whatever I have done in the past,that love means I don’t beat myself up for having got it wrong, but love the hurt and let it go..
Something that strikes me Jane is the deep tenderness you hold yourself in. I can’t imagine you being hard or abusive towards yourself as you describe in the earlier days. The changes you have made are profound, and show that you are finally living your Way in the World.
Agreed Kylie – it is difficult to imagine Jane being hard or abusive, as the changes she has made in her life are so profound… What she describes in her blog sounds like a completely different person to how she’s living today!
What a remarkable change around. Great to read and celebrate!
I agree great to read an a beautiful turnaround.,
From being a black belt myself – I know the hardness I called in to get to that stage.
I now, too no longer push my body to that level anymore, and in return, I feel much more gentle and aware of whats going on.
It has been a really interesting change for me to make, and be aware of how responsive my body is to me giving it a little more love.
How inspiring Jane of your transformation lived and how simple and profound the awareness felt in a lovely long bath, truly a celebration for all women.
. Great blog Jane I love this part. ‘What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself. And, as I sit here now in the bath, I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt in my life. That is something to celebrate with a long bath!’ It’s through your commitment and you taking responsibility for how you live that as resulted in the changes in your life and that is really worth appreciating and celebrating. No-one can do the work for us.
I too am struck by the sheer fact, no-one can do the work for us. We can surround ourselves with anyone we like, receive all sorts of support, but upon each reflection, each cross road, it comes down to our own choice every time.
Dear Jane I can so connect to what you are saying here, though my life has been a little different to yours, there are still parallels in it. I know what it is to come from a place of hardness, toughness, a place where many thought I had everything, yet I could still feel that something was missing in my life, this happened to be me. In all that I had and all that I was doing, all of it was about proving that I was worthy. As a wife, daughter, mother, employee, friend, this was absolutely exhausting. I too through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have been inspired to reconnect to my body and the love that is naturally there. The tenderness I now feel is so far away from the way I used to live. And is so beautiful to live with and to express from, the love a and care that I now truly feel for others is beautiful, and I can truly say something I had never felt before choosing to connect to myself.
Awesome Jane to hear of your turnaround from the simple loving choices you’ve made in honour of you. It’s deeply inspiring to read. I too am throwing out my organic conditioner, it’s too harsh on my hair and until I find something new, I’ve been using my son’s banana smelling detangler; remember scratch and sniff stickers? It feels so soft and easy and my hair smells amazing too!
What a beautiful confirmation of who you are and how loving you has led you to celebrate such gorgeous moments. This is a beautiful reminder of how loving and essential appreciation is.
Agree Carola ‘appreciation’ is a key ingredient in any self-nurturing program.
Your baths Jane sound like a true celebration of the beautiful, tender woman that you have re-connected with. It is always our choice, how we tend to ourselves, results in how we feel. If we make self-loving choices we then feel this in our body. Well done for the choices you have made and the way you now choose to live.
It is beautifully empowering Jane that the changes you are living now are all due to your own choices and actions. No magic wands – just loving choices. Love it, so simple, so true, and so important to share so everyone knows that the power to change lies within them.
This has been me experience also – no ‘magic wands’ but a simple willingness to be honest and take responsibility for my choices – something I realize now is not exclusive, but available to us all.
Yup, I feel like having a bath now! 😘😘
As a active boy then man, who played every type of sport that was available to me I can now feel the pressure that I placed on my self to perform. The amount of hardening that was in my body was a direct result of many hours of training where I shut down any feelings and pushed my body through a multitude of pain barriers. This had such a numbing effect that I was in total denial that my body still had any of the hardening. Then I became a new age softy who could talk the soft type self styled Buddhist language of love and this just buried the hardness even deeper. When I first started going to presentations by Serge Benhayon I was still in the arrogance or belief which made me think I had dealt with the hardening of my body. Ha ha I could not have been further from the truth, the new age rhetoric had only shifted the hardening and buried it even deeper into my body! Now I very much self nurture and pamper my body. Then look at the unresolved issues and deal with them. Thank you Jane great blog.
Jane this blog is a great reminder of how crazy we can treat ourselves when we don’t know how to remain connected to ourselves. Remembering how I used to be I’m reminded of the number of times I was ‘put down’ for showing natural grace, or self-care or self love – it simply was not the way to behave in the ‘blokey’ Aussie world of middle Australia.
Your blog Jane, reminds me of how I used to live, running, yoga ten times a week, partying all weekend, thinking I was living the high life until I realized how tense and anxious I was and deeply sad with how my life had turned out. Since taking the advice of the ageless wisdom through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I now know what makes me feel great and what doesn’t, I can make my own conscious decisions about how I live and taking responsibility for the consequences that result from my choices. It is a totally different, and fulfilling way to live. I am very grateful.
Jane: I loved your wisdom from the bath tub – so very inspirational, as is the turnaround in your life which, as you wrote, came about: “Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself. And what amazing changes you have made in your life as a result of living this way. I too know the magic that unfolded when I took the time to get out of my head and realised that I had a body that was suffering from a lack of love and caring attention, and made the choice to listen to what it was saying. And I too have the greatest appreciation for the loving support of Serge Benhayon and the wonderful team at Universal Medicine; an amazing group of people who have consistently presented the truth of life as they live it, as now you do.
Wow Jane such an inspiring article – so many gentle reminders here but the one that stood out for me today was when you expressed “An openness to be more honest with myself” if we do not have ‘honesty’ as the starting point I feel that we cannot work in a way which brings about a true healing. As you said “you turned things around” amazingly so.
I am so thankful Jane that we meet not kicking each other but hugging : ).
Good point Jane. Even with no martial art anymore since years, I know that I still can fight. I can fight with my words, with my view, in my thoughts and in the way I move. It is not longer so obvious and with that more tricky to let go of. For me forthrightness and awareness are strong and lovely tools here. And I realized that I have to learn more about my beauty and glory, have to claim it, so there is no longer any reason for a fight in any way. To be with each other with an open heart supports me as well, because in relationships and personal encounters I get a reflection of our all beauty and sweetness.
Thank you Jane I have a similar story although different picture in how I too use to push myself beyond my bodies capacity. In fact I wasn’t even aware that my body had a say in how I ran my life and use to push myself and my body to see how far I could go. In reading your experience I too felt and reflected upon my own changes and the appreciation of the respect, love and honouring I now have for myself and my body. It is exquisite, just as I am and for that I am deeply thankful for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
“I wasn’t even aware that my body had a say in how I ran my life..” I’m sure many of us can relate to this comment, I know I can, despite using my body to dance, do yoga, etc. I could hear it’s calls but I did not stop to appreciate the signs it was giving me. What a gift to have been shown how to truly listen to all that we are offered.
Wow, Jane I can hardly believe that you were the person you described.
What an amazing and positive change to feel relaxed and comfortable with yourself to just be you without all the madness.
We can still achieve so much but without the stress on the body. Good health is not good function in the body, as you so openly exposed.
Absolutely Gail, there is such a difference between caring for self so that the body functions and gets through what we need to do and the self-care Jane has developed which involves a deeper level of connection and appreciation. Definitely something to celebrate!!
I love how you appreciate yourself, thank you Jane.
Wow Jane, what a beautiful turn around, thank you for sharing. Truly inspiring and a great reminder of the ever deepening nurturing, love and care we can bring.
Yes I agree Tony, ticking all the boxes yet having poor health should tell us something isn’t right. I love how Jane made such a complete turn around easily when she began to approach her body in another way, treating it now with respect, tenderness and love. She now lives in full honour of her body, instead of using it as a weapon to wield against another. We all benefit from her willingness to offer others the same care and tenderness she offers herself.
Ticking all the boxes or kicking them?!! ; )) This is an amazing turnaround story and proof positive it can be done – all without losing a thing.
What a lovely feeling one gets reading your blog, great!, let´s celebrate our rediscovered gentleness, that we find when we check in and feel the body in the bath or during the day at work, what a great way to confirm that actually, yes, we are letting go of the hardness and allowing for more and more tenderness in our life.
The before and after is like chalk and cheese Jane, it’s hard to imagine they are one and the same person, albeit on the outside only. Kickboxing seems to me an unimaginably tough and violent sport, a long way off from a women feeling an organic shampoo was too abrasive for her! Well done!
Thank you for sharing your bathroom thoughts with us Jane. What an absolutely amazing metamorphosis ! It’s a bit like the ‘Incredible Hulk’ in Reverse! It reminds me of the person, who, when asked why they are hitting their head against a brick wall, replies, “because it’s lovely when I stop”! I remember from school when the phrase, ‘being fit enough to play’, meant not being too injured to play. It’s wonderful that your body has called ‘time’ on your extremely punishing activities and that you have listened and taken note. Lovely blog Jane!
As I re-read your blog this morning Jane I could not help but feeling how ignorant of my own delicateness and fragility I have been for so long, often overriding my own rhythms and forcing myself into the ‘doing’. Thank you for a very inspiring sharing.
Thank you Jane. I could feel it in every word, how tender, loving and self-appreciating you are with yourself. It melted me, and is very inspirational in the choices you have made with yourself included to change your life.
Jane what is so lovely from reading this article is that I got an overall sense of how much your life is now truly about taking care of you, and being connected to what you feel you need in each moment, to not only nurture you, but to ensure that you are able to express and be yourself to 100% potential in each moment. It wasn’t anything you said but a feeling in your words. I see how far you were lost in making life about what you do, what you complete and ticking the boxes to be successful and look the part to what ever ideal you had soled out to. But now you have left that race and started an amazing journey of making life about being connected. This was so deeply inspiring for me that in this very moment I got the opportunity to feel if I was writing this comment from a ‘doing’ of it being something I ‘should do’ – or actually sitting here deeply connected with myself, and expressing in an intimate way that share’s every part and death of me, in all it’s beauty – not just a surface layer of me to get the task done – which nobody really get’s me at all then. Thank you for inspiring such a powerful feeling.
I loved your deeply felt appreciation of this blog Danielle as I too got to feel a deeper connection with myself that I can share with others more fully. I can now begin to feel what it is like to be me more fully in everything I do and not just skim over the top but seemingly achieve more things.
Perfect Jane, such a celebration of the choices you are now making and the way your body is responding.
Wow, that’s a big ‘turn around’ Jane.
What particularly touched me was your putting together ‘self’ with ‘patience’ !
So I have resolved to ‘grow’ my ‘self-patience’, it feels like good medicine.
So worth celebrating Jane, the deep connection to that most most tender, gentle, and most loving being you are. Amazing story, that all appeared so ‘right’ from the outside looking in and at the same time dis-ease was underlying.
..dear Jane,
when I read the last paragraph of your blog I started to cry. Because I could suddenly feel my own power and that it has been me making choices to have come a long way from a self-destructive, suicidal and edgy living woman (more a man honestly) to a today making self-loving choices woman, claiming my truth, my femininity, my tenderness, my strength and my connection to love and god. Having read your blog made my day***
I love you for sharing this…
Thank you dearly.
It is so interesting what you have shared here, Jane. On the outside you looked very successful yet on the inside your body was telling you that all was not well. How easily we are fooled by outward appearance simply because we don’t pay enough attention to what lies beneath.
Jane, the preciousness with which you write and treat yourself with is so strongly felt reading this gorgeous blog. As I was reading it I was reflecting on the changes in my own body since I started to treat myself with deeper self-care and nurturing. I continue to be amazed at how tender my body looks and feels, how strong and shiny my hair is whereas some years ago it was straggly and lifeless. I continue to be amazed at how exquisite I feel when I wake up in the early hours of the morning, not lifeless or drained still from the day before as I used to be but fully vital ready to fully embrace the day after a deep nourishing rest. I continue to be amazed and at the same time it is normal, for this is the power of the livingness, of making truly self-loving choices as inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Hi jane,
It is so timely that I come across your blog. I have been feeling how much my body has been put through some rough things and that underneath there is a tenderness there waiting to be connected to and lived from. The tenderness and preciousness is incredible to feel and beautiful by way of my natural expression. When I feel this it’s very very cool but I feeling all the intense choices Iv made and how I am holding that still in my body. As time goes on I feel I too will continue to connect to the tenderness and presciousness and appriciate these qualities more and more, and let go of all the hardness and roughness I have lived up until this point.
I love re-reading this blog Jane – it is so inspiring to read how you have changed your life from super tough woman to super appreciative and tender woman in your life. Knowing you now, there is no clue you were once kick boxing and so forceful in your approach to life…..thank you for sharing the delicate, amazing and glorious woman you truly are.
What a great passage to read and what a great passage from exhaustion and toughness to having an appreciation of your own tenderness.
.
Your change from an idealised external “success” to what feels like inspiring true success and inner confidence was very beautiful to read about Jane.
Very true Bernadette, Jane really captures the movement from looking for success from her outward achievements in life to the deep loving appreciation of herself as a woman from the inside, very inspirational!
A truly inspirational story Jane, Thank you for sharing. It is an extraordinary difference between how you were fifteen years ago to today, based purely on choosing to be self loving and taking self care. Certainly this is true medicine for women’s health.
True medicine is exactly what Jane has shared, very well said Johanne.
Hi Jane, what you share is imbued with self love and care. Your story is inspiring and a pure joy to read. Thank-you.
I loved the way in which you describe how your body has changed from the feel of your hair to the skin on your body. All of these things can change with the choices we make and yet we tend to just think we have to put up with what we have been given.
I agree Tony, what we think is successful needs a good re-think. What Jane has today sounds amazing.
Surely what Jane has today (or doesn’t have, meaning no more ailments) is far more successful than how she used to run her life. Our health and well being should be top priority when we are determining if we are successful.
I too can relate to what you say in the beautiful blog Jane. “Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling I have made a deeper connection to myself.” A long bath with me is truly my favorite.
Thanks for sharing this Jane.
Your love, compassion and dedication can be deeply felt, you now live as a true inspiration to myself and many others.
Knowing the precious, tender woman you are today, it’s a bit hard to imagine you as a kick boxer – thank goodness for us all that you now prefer baths to boxing.
Thank you Jane. I also pushed myself in all sorts of training since I was 16, from street fighting kung fu to Shaolin, making myself as strong as possible, eventually getting a weapons licence becoming a private detective and starting a personal bodyguard business, not understanding that I was burying deeper and deeper the truly tender man that was always there.
Even when I started teaching sound and singing I had a course called the sword and the song where I taught men sword work and singing. The truth was I always felt I had to have a weapon in the house to feel safe, even if it was just a hunting bow and a sword or 2, and that theme continued until I meet Serge Benhayon and started attending Universal medicine courses. Even then it took quite a while to unravel the layers of fear and ingrained paranoia that a fighter takes for granted until I could truly know that I did not need weapons any more and the deep inner stillness and reconnection to my heart allowed the truly tender man that I am to emerge.
True success seems to be being open to true health and well being. What a relief and wonder it is to be inspired to make these important changes.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes” and “I am the most tender, gentle and most loving I have ever felt in my life”. How different your life is now Jane from trying to be a super woman to being a beautiful tender truly super woman. I love the appreciation you have come to acknowledge of yourself. Totally worth celebrating.
Thank you for sharing Jane, I can so relate to what you said. I too worked my body hard as a gardener. I now have taken the teachings of Universal Medicine and now am very tender with my body. And love a long bath,
Great blog Jane! Universal Medicine has completely changed my life too – very slowly I learnt to make different choices and introduce more care to my life – and it really has made a huge difference to how I feel within myself, and how I treat myself and others everyday.
Wow, you have come such a long way. I can totally relate to why you have said. I was once hard with my body, practice martial arts and even crazily returning to it 3 months after giving birth. having money, job etc but there was no love for me toward myself in the way I treated myself- I simply had no true appreciation for me so it was easy to mistreat myself and take part in things that did not support me truly. It sounds like you ticked all the boxes in life as I once did.
But now I appreciate, I nurture, I connect to my tenderness and celebrate being a woman, a strong, caring and loving woman who also enjoys a bath.
Wow – gorgeous comment. I am very inspired 🙂
Hello Jane, I know this was written sometime ago but what an amazing transformation this is. You are a powerhouse but in a different way these days I am glad to say. Thank you for sharing part of your life with us and how it use to be for you as a ‘woman’. I much prefer the you now and I am pleased I didn’t meet up with you back then, having a black belt and all. Your life is testament to the power of connection to yourself and what you truly feel. Thank you again.
Wow! That’s an amazing transformation. Very inspiring to see that if we choose we can have a body that feels tender & feel beauty inside.
I think it can be easy to forget to appreciate ourselves.
When we are in our busy lives.
But in those moments when we stop.
If we stopped and appreciated ourselves
We have to love ourselves to appreciate ourselves
And what a foundation to build from.
That’s a beautiful and inspiring blog Jane, thank you.
Its so inspiring to read how far you have come from what you have described… Before Universal Medicine it sounded quite destructive the way you were living in your body… not the essence of a woman at all. But It feels now you are connecting back to that essence of a woman and even your body is physically showing it now with your soft, smooth skin etc.
What a beautiful celebration of you Jane as you feel how lovely and tender you are. And what an amazing transformation from the driven, fitness crazy woman kick boxing with big burly men to the woman you are today (and have always been, but just not connected to that part of you in full).
Your self appreciation is very inspiring as is your transformation. I too had a black belt in karate and at age 12, I was sparring with 40 year old men and smashing my shins into theirs as part of the “toughening-up” program. It has been hard for me to revisit but now when I do I can feel the tender, hurt little girl I was. I was always tender, I just didn’t honour it.
I can relate to that, I had a brown belt in karate, I stopped started during school, college and university. I can feel now how hurt I was then, so was katate as a defence.
Whoa! Nikki, that is intense, but accepted as the normal thing to do. Toughen up and win the accolades, the next belt and the next, a perverse form of carrot we reward ourselves with as we beat ourselves with the harsh stick.
You could insert the word “study” in place of “karate” and it would apply – minus the physical misery, just another form of abuse with pushing and punishing to get rewards and accolades that are meant to make up for the suffering, but can never compensate for the loss of the tender woman.
I can relate to that too Rachel – I did the same thing with study. The pushing was all at the expense of the loss of a tender woman and this brings up such sadness.
It is interesting Jane and also interesting why so many participate in such sports. I showed my son some karate moves and it felt so horrible in my body. He asked me why I did karate when I was younger if it felt so horrible. And I realised I was not even there. In the beginning I hated it, in fact I never really wanted to go and I never enjoyed it. And I certainly never felt elated when I got my black belt. After getting my black belt I liked the recognition and I still do to this day I now realise. But I’m still at a loss as to why I stayed for so long….something for me to explore.
Junior black-belt kick boxer, no way. What a miraculous run around.
Great transformation thanks Jane
In knowing the woman you are today it is hard believe you lived the way you did in the past. A very inspiring read.
Yes Shannon, I agree with that. The same for many other students as well, people that have turned their lives around, from hardness with the world and themselves to a deep, open tenderness.
I love this – ” Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself.” This is such a great reminder to listen to the body again and reconnect, especially in times when I get a bit lost in the ‘outside’ of things… Thank you Jane.
Very true Karina – it is so easy to get lost ‘outside’ of ourselves. It’s so awesome that coming back and connecting to our body is our choice, and something we can do moment to moment.
Yes Amelia, and I am joy-full that this getting ‘lost outside’ is happening considerably less these days, in fact getting ‘lost’ is probably too strong a word now, more like just stepping of the path for a second… and the realisation coming in fast to step up again.
Beautifully said Amelia, many of us build a way of life that that doesn’t support our bodies and our bodies will show is this through illness, exhaustion, stress and anxiety.
But coming back from that is as simple as making different choices. Choosing to feel what your body needs (or doesn’t need) and honouring that feeling in every moment (without trying to be perfect about it).
Thank you Jane for reminding us that in coming into contact with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, we were simply being introduced to ourselves. The preciousness and tenderness that in my strivings to be very fit, hard in my body and competitive in sport and the fitness industry, was missed very dearly.
Its hard to imagine you as the kick boxer Jane, you have come such a long way and its so great how you totally appreciate the fact.
Lovely blog, thankyou for allowing me to feel your tender way (:
Absolutely awesome sharing Jane. So often it is indeed our ‘health crisis’s’ that makes us stop and review how we have been living and to make the necessary changes in our everyday livingness for us to lead a more fulfilling life. Often, in our heart we knew these changes were on the horizon and we should have been addressing them, but we had got so caught up in the momentum of life that we hadn’t quite got around to doing it. Just like you Jane, all of Universal Medicines modalities and presentations have without doubt supported me to make more honouring lifestyle choices for how I treat and care for my physical body and well being and live my every day. This has then flowed onto how I connect and care for others. We are all work in progress…
Thanks Jane for such a beautiful share of the changes from hardness to tenderness into a beautiful celebration of the gorgeous woman you are.
Agreed and fully felt Beverly.
I resisted reading this blog for a few months – but I am glad that I have now. I can still feel elements of the “old me”, busy, rushed, pushing hard coming back from time to time, making me forget the tenderness and gentleness that I love to feel about myself the most. I loved reading this blog Jane and reminded me of what I appreciate about myself too. thankyou
The number of jobs I achieved in a day used to be the most important thing but I’m slowly learning that it’s not the most important thing. Going about my day in connection with me is the most important thing. The false importance (busyness) I place on these jobs are the distraction to keep me away from me. Although they may still need to happen I take more care and gentleness with myself as I do them (or atleast am working on it)
Yes we do place far more importance on the doing. I too am beginning to realize that it is about the quality of my energy when going about my day and not about the jobs I can tick off!
Celebrating your tenderness and loveliness in a warm and gentle bath – what a wonderful way of being with you Jane, in full appreciation. Great sharing, thank you.
Such a powerful story Jane, thank you for sharing.
Great story Jane! Thanks so much for sharing your before and after. We love to look at the facade of ‘successful’, and overlook what that illusion of success is actually made up of, which is almost always a lot of hurt. This is a great reminder that just because people appear to have it all together, doesn’t mean they do, and therefore should not judge.
What I find particularly interesting is that you had a number of intense physical complaints while you lived the life of the ideal woman. Now where you take care of yourself and do things many people would consider indulgences, these physical complaints have gone away. Is there a connection?
Could it be that the body likes being taken care of rather than pummelled and then responds?
Jane you’ve certainly come a long way! It is so easy to stay ‘numb’ with all that hard, abusive activity. Unfortunately many people are still locked in this choice and don’t know there is another way. Or actually, they do know, it’s just that they deny it to themselves and keep on going, ‘business as usual’. I never considered myself to be self-abusive and hard, but after discovering my tenderness with Universal Medicine, I can now see and feel how hard I was actually living.
As we know the body is the marker of all truth, it is inspiring that so many people are listening to the message it is sending and reaping the amazing transformations.
To me this blog describes a miracle. The ‘old’ Jane on the surface was great but the actual facts of her health and mental health show a mess, so to turn around her life in such a way is a miracle. There is no doubt that if Jane continued to live in that hard way she was heading for a major health breakdown. It is incredible what we ask of the body because we have our mind as the driver rather than listening to what the body needs and wants.
Dear Jane, It is lovely to read how you love and appreciate your body. From hard and harsh to how you implemented changes.The self nurturing and regard is beautifully told. Thank you. I think I will be taking a bath very soon.
Wow Jane, never picked that one… the kick boxer I mean. I am amazed how many ways there is in life to ‘harden up’ …in fact its a motto for some. I have definitely shared a similar transition from my own form of Hardness to appreciating myself in a bath last night.
This evening I took a lovely long bath to relax and unwind from a hard day which allowed me to stop and bring myself back to me. I then stumbled up on your blog and took the time to moisturise and as I did I noticed how soft the skin at the tops of my arms felt and I started to appreciate how much has changed in the way I nurture myself. This is a lovely blog and often comes to my mind as a reminder or the profound impact self care has.
Thank you Jane for this beautiful blog. so lovely to read and inspiring.
Jane you are one of the power houses of this world, fortunately that power is no longer channeled into kick boxing. Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine you chose love and gentleness. Today you are gracing wherever you go and we are graced here in your writing too.
Plenty to celebrate indeed Jane. Truly, appreciating ourselves and our human body, rocking ourselves in our lovely arms like the precious beings that we are. Thank you Jane and all the people who posted.
It’s interesting that as women we allow ourselves to get hooked into thinking that competitive and aggressive sports are ok. It then becomes the norm to feel hard and aggressive and we take this into daily life. Coming back to our natural tenderness is a journey of discarding the hardness that we have adopted and accepted as normal. It is so beautiful to read of your return to tenderness Jane. You are a true inspiration to me.
So beautiful Jane, reading your blog made me smile knowing you now as this tender, loving powerhouse woman I cannot imagine you to be a kick boxer…. I can very much relate to the hardness you describe and the push and how beautiful it was to learn to surrender into my body and embrace my delicateness, fragility and tenderness.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around. Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself. And, as I sit here now in the bath, I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt ”
While reading these blogs in each and everyone I get a healing. My body is letting go.
Each story I read is the story I was meant to read. The healing was there waiting for me to choose it. Appreciation of all the choices that I now make for myself.
Very inspiring Jane, a confirmation for everyone that regardless of the disregard we can live in our lives, there is always a simple way back to our love and truth.
A beautiful transformation Jane, your tenderness just leapt off the page and I felt how wonderful it is to take time to appreciate ourselves, no matter where we are on our journey. Thank you for the inspiration.
Wow Jane what an inspiring journey a beautiful transformation.
An inspiring story Jane of how you have turned your life around by listening to the true tenderness in your body. I loved how you binned the shampoo as it felt harsh to your body. That level of awareness has inspired me to feel more deeply. I now look forward to my next bath.
Your story is one that is definitely worth celebrating.
I can really relate to this blog. As a man, I lived a very similar fast paced lifestyle, and was also permanently exhausted to the point where I could not even sleep properly. I was so wired. Bringing self love into my love,(and thanks to Serge Benhayon here for opening my eyes) and accepting that as a man I can allow myself also to be tender has ironically helped me to create a body that is actually truly capable of hard work, but without doing so at the expense of my body.
That is a profound revelation you draw Adam – that it is possible to have a body that can work hard but not to its detriment – all due to the foundation you have built. Simple but so true.
What a beautiful transformation you have had Jane.
Beautiful,
Amazing from such a rough background a level of tenderness and care can still be achieved.
Very inspiring to anyone who would be in that situation right now
And celebrate yourself you should Jane! I also had many ailments too many to list and was basically chasing my tail around trying to find solutions. My life has completely turned around into one of sustainable vitality and increasing joy every day. Ailments are falling by the wayside with dedication to my wellbeing as inspired by the teachings of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the associated practitioners.
Thanks for an inspirational story Jane. It shows what is possible when we listen to our body and connect to who we truly are.
Jane, your article made me want to go run a nice warm bath! But I also feel that it is clearly not just about taking a bath, but how you live all of your life now which is the most inspring. I appreciate how you let go of activities that you must have been very attached to and felt you ‘loved’ – like kick boxing and other high-impact exercise – once you became more honest with yourself as to what they were actually doing to your body.
Wow something to celebrate indeed Jane! Your tenderness exudes from your blog, and the changes you have chosen to make, are amazing and inspiring. I have also appreciated coming back to a gentleness with myself like I had as a little girl, from the hardened body I created. I could never imagine now putting my body in the situations I once did, like going co-pilot in racing cars and be hit at high speeds! I feel sad if I stump my toe now or hit the corner of a wall.
As I read your comments Jane I could feel the tenderness and love that came through your words. An amazing turn around in your life and all your own doing, congratulations!
Hi Jane
I love this blog because I can actually feel the delicious way you now self-care and self-nurture. Your changes are amazing and your appreciation of yourself is beautiful. I too feel the same way and now more then ever before celebrate the beautiful woman I am thanks to Serge & Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine. We have been inspired.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Jane. I love how you have honoured and appreciated how far you’ve come…
Jane your story is a remarkable example of how making self loving choices can transform not only the physical body but our experience of life. Thank you
Wow, Jane. What a transformation. I only know you as a gorgeous tender woman that you are now and it’s really hard to imagine you as a kickboxer.
I took up martial arts in my late 20’s, and my choice was the allegedly “gentle” Aikido.
It hurt my neck, my back and injured my right shoulder I could barely work. Kept going though. I would turn up to work with bruises all over my arms (very fine arms too I might add) looking like a person who was bring subjected to domestic violence.
Crazy!
As I toughened up to withstand to classes, what I did not notice was the fact that I was becoming desensitised across the board. I guess that is natural when you make your body hard to handle pain – you loose the delicacy and subtlety of every sense.
Now I will not allow anyone to touch me roughly or abruptly without passing comment.
Even being too rough with my fingertips on the keyboards stops me in my tracks. That tenderness took time to re-develop and the development is forever ongoing.
Esoteric Women’s Health was essential to this, and without Universal Medicine I cannot imagine what state I would be in today.
Thats a good point Rachel, looking back on when I used to do martial arts training I can now see how I was desensitising my body and I wasn’t even aware of it. Its quite sad that we feel we have to put our bodies through all of that physical pain in order to harden our bodies and achieve a false sense of secutity.
This is so very inspiring Jane. There is so much out there in the world telling women to push themselves at work, to thrash their bodies with intense exercise, to be this and do that – all the while the rates of anxiety, depression and women’s health issues are on the rise. Perhaps it is as simple as you have described – making small, loving changes to the way in which you do things – that can bring about acceptance of self and a feeling of ease and loveliness in our bodies.
You certainly have come a long way and it’s a joy to see. The water in the bath, not too hot and not too cold, simple and yet so loving – very often I will run a bath but not very often will go to the attention of getting the water to the exact temperature to how I am feeling on that day – I will from now on!
WoW! Jane what an inspiration you are. Thank you for sharing your journey and life changes. What a gorgeous reflection of love you are.
Jane, i love this sharing. Thank you.
I was once a highly driven person, reacted to life fairly easily, exercised 2 hours a day, did martial arts, worked and had grand mal seizures. My body was hard but thin and fit, my heart was hard and the way I related with myself and others was also hard. I totally understand everything you share here. Thankfully now, to the support and as you say ‘loving, tender, gentle, self-kind, and deeply self-honest:(people of the universal medicine student body, Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine) this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself’. my body too is now in its truer form- it is graceful, tender, sweet, strong and gentle.
There is absolutely no way I would have thought this beautiful caring loving women I know today could have been a black in kickboxing… Now thats is something to celebrate
It is so lovely to read of the changes you have made for yourself Jane. It is a 360″ turn from how you initially described your life and certainly worth appreciating and celebrating. There is a real power in this appreciation and I have experienced this myself of late. Sometimes I feel the next level of love I am asking of myself, and I may initially feel a little resistance to this, but when I stop to appreciate and celebrate how far I have come, I then open myself up to what is more. In doing this the resistance has nowhere to go as I welcome more love in my life. This is the never ending unfoldment of the love that is eternal within us.
Jane, this is a huge change. I remember, as a boy of 5-6 years, didn’t like the Judo-lessons I had. My older brother had done them and our parents thought, for me they were good, too. Their argument was ‘you will learn how to fall down the right way’ because of the Judo-roll. For me it was only a rough unpleasant kind of competition with other boys, which some used to really harm.
And those falls really hurt too.
Awesome Jane to hear how making small, honest and loving choices in your life can create such wonderful changes. Thank you for sharing.
It is amazing to consider the change that has occurred in Jane (and many other women with the support of Universal Medicine) and how simple the way to being gentle and tender can be. I also love that it is our super honest bodies that say, “You might have the job, the car, the partner etc but none of that matters when you are harming me and not being who you truly are”. Thank goodness for our bodies to remind us what true success is all about.
I love the body-wisdom you cite above Fiona. And the ‘progression’ from reminders about self harm to intimations of self love is simply beautiful.
Jane your sharing is a beautiful and inspiring example of how making a gradual yet ever-evolving commitment to feeling and honouring the real you rather than what the modern world dictates or sees as being fit or successful, has enabled you to re-embody, live and reflect to woman the true and amazing beauty they each possess.
Jane that is so lovely to read and feel the truth of your words. What an amazing turnaround you chose and the blessing that is now here for everyone from that choice.
I knew just by reading the title of this blog I was going to relate to what was being said. Jane you may have been slightly more extreme in your mountain riding choppy chop kicking days, yet non-the less pushing your body and not listening to it is pushing your body and not listening to it in any way that is achieved. And as you experienced it spoke to you loud and clear as it communicated all of the pains and ailments saying not so happy in here. I myself, used to be super into sports, gosh there was a time I even went to sleep with my new basketball boots as I was so obsessed. Growing up around boys I was always competing with in whatever sporting endeavours they were into, footy, cricket, triathlons. I got to a point where I pretty much dismissed myself as even being a girl/woman. I was often mistaken for a boy, and at the time was happy to look like one. Into my mid twenties my period stopped for a whole year. It was at this time, I was introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I had a session with him and simply told him about my non-existent period. I can’t remember the details of what he said, yet I can remember the strong feeling after, of wanting to feel like a woman and have my period again. I took time to consider why I had shut off to my undeniable feminine body, which consequently inhibited it to flow as it naturally should, literally, and that perhaps the way I was treating myself was way too rough. This dismissive way no longer felt like how I wanted to be and move through life. Miraculously my period came midday that day. From there into the following months if I ever skipped a period I again re-considered and re-adjusted the way I was being with myself. Self-loving choices has now allowed me to have regular pain free periods. So amazing. And to be honest initially I had to learn what being self-loving in the true sense even was or meant? The super support of the Universal Medicine practitioners was able to shed light in this area as they were living this self-care and self-love undeniably and unwaveringly so. It stood out like nothing else to be honest. I had never met people until this time that moved with such grace and tenderness, yet who also were also so very real, practical and hard working. Their way of living deeply inspired me in all areas of my life and allowed the tomboy girl who once squirmed at even the word woman, to transform into the now very beauty-full woman that has no issue with the word, for I now feel the word as simply who I truly am.
I loved re- reading this blog and seeing how you have chosen to transform your life Jane. Inspiring to read how making different choices allows us to change. Listening to my body more and more enables me to make changes too.
Thanks, Jane. It is lovely to re-visit this blog and feel how empowering it can be to make little changes day by day, that gradually bring better health, more vitality and greater joy all round.
Isn’t it interesting how the very thing that we learn (kick boxing, etc.) to protect us (self-defence) is actually not protecting us at all but hardening us and harming our bodies more.
wow Jane what a transformation you have made. Amazing!
“What I also felt was how much I can feel inside my body, and how sensitive (in a great and tender way) my body is to many things,” This blog is an expression of true transformation. Thankyou Jane. Children feel so much – as we all did – but we lose it along the way life is currently lived. A great reminder for me to take time to become aware of my own sensitivity and tenderness and return to the innocence and loveliness of me.
I love this blog Jane, it is so lovely to read of your transformation and acceptance of the tender woman that you are. It reminds me to drop my ‘inner kick boxer’ and surrender to my own loveliness.
The key message that stands our for me today as I re-read this article is the fact that you took small, gentle steps as you made changes to the way you were living. Sometimes we can make it a rule to not eat something, or a rigid discipline to exercise daily, and then feel bad if we break our own rules, but taking it gently, and paying attention to what our body is feeling means that the changes can be permanent, made through tender, self-loving choices, and not something we feel we ‘should’ do.
You have described your transformation from such hardness to such tenderness and it’s very much worth celebrating. The change in your choices is inspiring, thank you Jane
Thank you Jane for an inspirational article. I too lived in the illusion that I ‘had it all’ and then felt guilty that I had an underlying sadness and dissatisfaction with myself and how I was living.No longer. I have re-connected to the ‘all’ and have found that the ‘all’ I was missing was there within me all the time. Certainly something to celebrate.
How many more life crises does humanity have to experience before we all take notice of the fact that how we are living is not working – as a species, many of us are getting sicker and sicker as we live these stressed ‘successful’ lives. To me success is the joy I can see in your eyes – you’re probably still working a 60 hour week, but your vitality and vibrancy are there to be seen and felt by anyone who knows you.
I love how you write “all of my ailments have subsided, even the painful periods, and anxiety is rare for me now…” all because you chose to change your way of living, appreciating and loving yourself deeply. I too have felt a big change in myself since taking more care and becoming tender with myself. It feels amazing how many symptoms just melt away without any effort. Choosing self-responsibility rather than blame. How the NHS in the UK could benefit from this approach – staff and patients alike – they would save so much money!
‘Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself.’ To express what we feel is a beautiful way to honour our deeper selves and helps everyone to evolve. You are a shining example, Jane, of how humanity can choose to be and live.
What a turn around from the hard driven woman you were to the beautiful tender inspiring woman you are today Jane – just incredible! I was similar in that I used to practice karate and push myself physically to prove I was a toughie. Through my association with Universal Medicine and reading this wonderfully inspiring blog site I am learning to re-connect to the precious tender woman I am after becoming so lost in thinking I needed to be something else. I love your appreciation of yourself and the simple things you share in celebration of yourself – what a beautiful role model you are.
It’s gorgeous to read how you are celebrating yourself Jane and what better way than with a bath. Where it has become normal to celebrate by getting drunk celebrating ourselves through simple daily self-care is refreshing.
Love this Shevon – “celebrating ourselves through simple daily self-care is refreshing”. I find that if I celebrate or reward myself I often wake up the next morning in a state that I don’t want to celebrate, but by doing it this way you can stay feeling amazing in your day. Awesome
Thank you Jane for your honest, tender and expressive blog. I really connected to the quote that you wrote about Universal Medicine Practitioners “I could feel that they had made many changes in their own lives and were today loving, tender, gentle, self-kind, and deeply self-honest: this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself.” I had a similar experience when first heard Serge Benhayon talk and when I began to see Mary-Louise Myers, I felt that I was in a very safe place with someone who spoke the truth had taken responsibility for themselves and it was very inspiring to be around. I am taking responsibility for how I live and how I express and the ripples from these previous encounters are shared with others that I meet.
Jane, you are so beautiful and tender and your beauty shines out and radiates from within, its hard to imagine you any other way than the loving person you are now. What an inspiration to any women this blog is.
I enjoy coming back again and again to this article with the understanding that we can let ourselves fall so far away from ourselves that we live in a way that hurts our bodies so much. You are a great testament Jane to someone who is no longer hurting themselves in this way.
This is so inspiring Jane. I also struggle to picture the hard,stoic het up ball of anxiety that you describe. I have only known a deeply loving and gorgeously tender woman. The changes that you have made for you are deeply inspiring. You are testament to the power of building self-care and self-love in the body.Step by step replacing disregard and hardness with self regard and love. Your blog beautifully claims this for you. A definite cause for celebration.
I love the way you describe this transformation so simply, and beautifully ‘step by step replacing disregard and hardness with self regard and and love.’
What an amazing transformation from recognizing what your body was telling you, too the loving and tender person I know you as now.
Thank you for the reminder that it is in fact my choices that have led me to where I stand today, good and bad. And rather than just dismissing the good moments and choices as something that has just past by me and I was lucky to be there and experience, I can stop and appreciate that I chose to feel that way. And it is completely within my power to keep choosing to feel amazing.
A great article a true celebration of you.
I agree Amina, the tenderness you present is beautiful to feel Jane, and the image of you kick boxing is impossible to imagine.
Gorgeous Jane, this is such a celebration of you and your choices! Like you I have changed enormously in the past 11 years and I dread to think what I would be feeling like now if I hadn’t made the simple consistent steps to work with my body and honour it and my feelings. I know it would be very unhealthy and I wouldn’t feel any where near as amazing as I do today. Thanks to the inspiration constantly provided by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine practitioners.
Jane you are an inspiration to us all and have have come a long way with patience, consistency, dligence and love. Never trying to get there, but allowing your process to evolve. What a transformation! I too appreciate how far I’ve come, first I had to discard all that was was false in my life, then lovingly began to rebuild myself and my llife. Non of this would have been possible without the dedicated support of Serge Benyahon and Universal Medicine practitioners.
Thank you Jane. From knowing you now, I could never imagine you as a black level anxiety pot with broken toes! The gentle, loving person I see is a testament to how you have changed your life, for you and no one else.
Me and my black belt tae kwon doe victory are a similar story!
I love this Jane. Your love and appreciation for yourself shines through your words. What you say in the last paragraph – “Through my own willingness to listen to my body and express what I am feeling, I have made a deeper connection to myself” encapsulate what it is that you have done to turn yourself around. The beauty and the wonder of how you are now feeling is all due to this. Thank you for sharing your experience so beautifully.
I appreciate your honest and open article Jane.
“Self-patience and loving diligence” resounded in me. These are attributes I shall be including in my daily care from now on, and pass on by example to my children and grand children.
Yes Wendy, what a lovely way to pass on what you have learnt. Your children and grandchildren will benefit from having you as a role model.
Jane I love your description of appreciation here. It has inspired me to stop and appreciate myself more. I can really tell you deeply appreciate the changes you have made to your life. What struck me is how you described that in many ways you thought you had it all in terms of money, friendships and career etc but inside your body was telling you otherwise. I agree with other comments that there are many stories like yours which should be publicised more and used as a blueprint for improving our health
Wow Jane – what a turn around! I loved reading about your nurturing moments and how much you now care for yourself. You are so inspiring – thank you for sharing
Hi Jane, it was interesting how you describe your previous ideas of success being the material things – money, sporty car, great home, and yet, to see you now, as the amazing and tender woman that you are, to me that is success. In your work and in your home life you are an inspiring role model for both men and women, to live in a way that is truly self-nurturing and with a degree of self-care that can only result in increased health and vitality. I find the way you live and work a daily inspiration, and the smile you always greet me with whenever we meet lights up my day.
Making ‘many small changes along the way’ is the key to this wonderful transformation you have made. It can be daunting for people to make radical changes in their life but when it is done with simple loving choices by listening to what your body is telling you it becomes easier and easier to make those choices. Very inspirational Jane, thank you.
I agree Sandhya, it is the ‘many small changes’ that add up to the big picture which we sometimes forget or prefer not to adhere to. But without all the little pieces their is no complete set.
Very true Sandhya, those small changes are all about bridging. When we jump straight into a lifestyle change it is very hard to sustain so bridging makes a lot of sense as it gives our bodies time to adapt to the change and it will be easier to maintain.
I didn’t know you were a black belt kick boxer!! I’ve only ever known the exquisitely beautiful, self loving, tender Jane that I see today. Wow, how your body must’ve been pushed so hard, and all that hurt and illness from driving yourself. They are small changes you started with that grow, and you are living proof that the body loves it, thank you.
What a beautiful transformation, the title says it all! I agree with you that Serge Benhayon has shown us ways to make real changes in our lives and from that, what I have loved is being inspired too by those who have also made that deeper connection to themselves and changes to the way they live. To see these simple changes bring about such remarkable change in their bodies and in their lives is wonderful.
WOW what a long way you have come. That is Amazing how you can appreciate your own natural tenderness and let yourself be that. Very inspiring. Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Universal Medicine Practioners have been so inspiring for me and I have, and still, continue to learn so much from them. I was always searching for ‘something’ looking outside of myself, pushing myself in life or when it didn’t work going into giving up mode. I now have a deeper and more loving connection with me which is always showing me there is more to feel and be and I am starting to regain my commitment and love of life. Thank you for sharing your story.
Your story is very inspiring Jane. A beautiful example of how change is possible if we really want it. Ouch to the broken toes! Your love for yourself now feels really glorious.
I agree Rebecca an inspiring blog. Knowing the tenderness of you now Jane I cannot imagine you leaping around kick-boxing. A true inspiration for us all.
Jane, I love your exquisitely tender blog. And knowing you now as the beautiful self-honouring woman you are, I too cannot imagine that stoic kick-boxer, and that’s what’s really amazing, your story shows that no matter where we’ve been, we can make changes, as you so lovingly illustrate by being honest with ourselves and looking at what does and doesn’t work for us. And miracles can then happen as you show. I especially love how you describe your approach with an ‘ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself’ – that’s key to know and feel the possibilities in that and to keep coming back to the simplicity of that no matter what happens. You are a living proof of this, and you’ve inspired me again today with your blog, thank you.
This is a great comment Jane, ‘slowly chipping away each day, being open to experiment with new ways, and being honest about how things feel gradually over time I have realised the the old ways, habits and routines I had that were not supporting me have slipped away.’ It is these small continuous incremental steps that over time add up to such significant shifts. This is a huge reminder to me that it is with loving patience of myself that I too can make these changes. I have a choice to do so, every moment of every day.
Gorgeous Jane, what you share is my reality too, except my body presented with different forms of ill health. I am now continually learning ways to increasingly support, honour and be loving with myself.
Hi Jane, I love how your own desire to change is what inspired you make new choices, and from there you found people who could support the changes you wanted to make. This is gorgeous and inspiring.
Wow Jane, what an inspiring article and what a transformation. You show the extent we can change our lives by making small changes regularly and to trust what we are feeling in the process supports this.
I too am struggling to imagine the gentle, beautiful and delicate woman I know now training with men over 6ft tall as a kick boxer. Wow Jane, super inspiring.
I know Fiona it is pretty incredible transformation or rather a shedding of what was not true! Amazing, Jane is amazingly inspiring.
I agree Fiona and Vanessa – it is indeed an extraordinary transformation!
What a beautiful example of how the choice to make simple changes to our lives can lead to such an appreciation of who we really are.
Thank you Jane, this is so inspiring. I can feel the tenderness and loveliness as I read your words. One word caught me though and that was “stoic”. Someone recently commented on how stoic my mother was and I remember relating to this term myself when I was younger. I have been feeling that this stoicism has actually meant me “putting up” with things, people and situations and realise that, although I may have changed, there is still this way of being still lingering inside me. Now I see it more clearly and feel the yukkyness of it I know I can renounce it’s hold on me. Awesome.
Yes Jane, I notice that attitude at work a lot. For example people are praised for coming in when they are sick, and if people are off ill sometimes comments can be made suggesting that the individual cant ‘hack it.’ I know there is a lot of guilt associated with being off work ill and many will push through and come in when they are clearly not well.
Yes Jane, I really relate with being stoic, hard and keep going regardless of how I felt, and this was seen as success. Amazing how you have turned your life around with new understandings from Serge Benhayon and so now make loving and honouring choices, I am too choosing likewise. This needs celebrating.
Amazing Jane how much we can change by listening to our bodies. I too find it difficult to imagine you were ever a kick boxer knowing the delicate and gorgeous person you are now.
Jane, knowing you now I am in such appreciation of the mountains you have moved and the belts you have undone to return to the spectacular woman I know you as today. A gentle high five to you.
Beautiful Jane, it really is about honesty and small changes, lovely reminder.
Thanks Jane, on reading this blog I have decided to take even more care of myself. I seldom take baths, just a quick shower to get clean or if I do have a bath it’s just in and out. You have inspired me to up my level of self care. Oh and I’m sure glad I never crossed you in the past as if your commitment to kick boxing was anything like your commitment to life I wouldn’t have wanted a swift kick or a box from you.
Agreed Amina. Awesome article Jane, thank you.
Beautiful Jane, these days it is extremely difficult to imagine you kicking boxing anything! What a transformation! You truly are a very tender, loving and delicate woman in the truest sense and a beautiful reflection to the world.
I wonder Rowenar if you would have recognised me 35 years ago.. A twenty something, with a group of black women friends, took up Kateda an Indonesian martial arts. We willingly did 100 knuckle press ups on wooden floors, stood in rigid stances for up to 30 minutes body punched by instructors to test strength and had bricks broken on our backs and stomachs to be awarded our belts. Thankfully, a car accident rescued me from this madness. A timely stop. It would be decades before I learned to appreciate gentleness and fragility in women as a strength. Thank you Jane, I have not shared this with anyone until now.
Wow Kehinde – that’s amazing – when I see the gentle, tender woman you are today it is hard to imagine you indulging in that tough way of living. As Jane says, ‘our bodies are fragile and sensitive’. There tends to be a belief that toughening ourselves up is the way to survive but I feel that nurturing and caring for our bodies is a far more loving way to live.
Beautiful blog Jane – I love how you say at the very end that you “celebrate with a long bath”, this is great to hear because often celebrations come in the form of foods, such as chocolate/cake/other comfort foods. You are showing a different way of living that creates a more tender and loving body, and also a different way of celebrating – thank you
Love what you’re saying here about celebrating Jessica – it’s so true that celebrations can often come in the form of foods or drinks that actually do our bodies harm. Crazy that we celebrate by hurting ourselves!
Great point Fiona – it is really crazy!
I totally agree with you Fiona. I’ve also come to realise that I have also used food to avoid that lovely time of celebrating and appreciating myself. Doubly daft. Thank you for the wake-up call.
So true Fiona – it is totally crazy when you put it like that!
Great point Jessica and Fiona. Celebrating by having a bath instead of all the other typical ways we choose that can sometimes be harming to our bodies.
“What I appreciate in this is that it is me who has made all of these changes; that with an ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around.” Surely this needs to be on billboards around the around the world! When we are facing the biggest heath crisis as a community on this planet, to read another blog from Universal Medicine websites where a person has changed around their presenting health issues with lifestyle choices – the quality of your expression in all that you do. This needs to be in the newspapers, in MPs hands, as we do have the answers that are being looked for, and this costs nothing!
So very true, it really does need to be advertised, and as you say, it costs nothing, it’s about making truly loving choices. And the absolute beauty of it is that there is no dictation, it’s done at one’s own pace, with one’s own flavour.
I agree Vanessa, the changes that WE have made are nothing short of amazing and this should be shouted from the rooftops!!
Absolutely Tim. Miracles.
Absolutely Vanessa, it should advertised in all Doctor’s waiting rooms and every hospital – we can make enormous changes to our health from our choice of lifestyle and our choice to honour our bodies and Universal Medicine has enabled many, many people to just that. Definitely headline news.
Very true Vanessa and it is important for the world to know that we do not have to suffer with unnecessary illness and disease if we but ‘stop and take stock and change the way we are living’. Headline News indeed.
Jane’s appreciation of how she has changed her life is an inspiration. The changes were not forced, or imposed, they were totally her own choices, in her own time. I have made choices that have changed my life, but until I read this article, I have not fully appreciated that, notwithstanding the support from Universal Medicine, It was me who orchestrated the changes. Thankyou Jane.
Awesome Jane. I don’t have a bath where I live right now, so I sit down in the shower to have my bath experience. And enjoy other people’s baths when I house and pet sit for them.
Thats hilarious Natalie, I thought I was the only person who sat down sometimes in the shower!
I’m going to try that in the shower as I too don’t have a bath at present. Sometimes I really feel wouldn’t a lovely bath be so gorgeous. I then go more tenderly in putting myself to bed.
Jane what huge changes you have made over the years, truly inspirational. Knowing you now how you said you were seems like a totally different person. I love how you said since meeting Serge Benhayon and seeing Universal Medicine practitioners: “this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself”. It is the personal responsibility, that we indeed are free to make our own choices and changes in life which Universal Medicine has empowered me with as well, and wow what a difference this has made for my body, those around me and for all areas of my life.
This is lovely Jane, very inspiring. Like Carmel I can’t imagine you as a kick boxer but I can relate to what you are saying, as I also went down the road of marital arts on three different occasions in my life. I can feel your gentleness in the words you have written and know you to be so in person.
Knowing you as I do now, as the beautiful, tender and playful woman that you are, I can’t imagine you as a kick boxer, but I can imagine how hard you drove yourself to do so much. You are still ‘doing’ an amazing number of things, but this time with your heart and with absolute stillness, and that makes you an inspiring manager, colleague and friend.
Knowing you now Jane, it’s so hard to imagine you as you were, especially the kick boxing thing. You are truly an inspiration with how far you have come and how you continue to grow.
What an amazing journey you have undertaken, to come back to the beauty-full tender women you are today. You are a true inspiration Jane.
What a pleasure it is to read this post and to feel your self appreciation. It’s a beautiful reflection to remember all those small choices of change amount to a rather large change as time passes. To make the commitment with each small change guarantees the end result.
Wow what an inspiration you and the changes you have made are for the whole world 🙂
You can tell that what Jane writes in this beautiful blog is true: in this writing Jane shares how she has come to find tenderness, and that tenderness can be felt in every sentence. I could feel myself letting go as I read what Jane had written.
Such a beautiful timely reminder and inspiration Jane. And yes, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are deeply inspiring.
I love the reflection this shows of how we can take control of our lives when we take responsibility for our actions and where we are in our lives. Your honesty is inspiring Jane and allowed you to make the changes to a life that wasn’t supporting you.
I love the extremes cited here, proof that a leopard can change it’s spots, and proof that the simplistic of choices can make a world of difference.
…’proof that a leopard can change it’s spots’ – love that metaphor Jenny. It fits perfectly with a lot of the phenomenal changes the Students of The Way of The Livingness have made in their lives.
Thank you for sharing Jane, That is an amazing inspiration of the choices you’ve made, I never would have guessed about the kick-boxing knowing you today and over the recent years.
Jane, what a delightful story of your life. I enjoyed reading about all the loving choices and changes you have made in the recent years. This has not been just loving for you, but for loads more people, because now I and others who know you, can experience your gorgeous tenderness, playfulness, dedication and wisdom. I smiled when I read “as I sit here now in the bath, I am the most tender, gentle, and most loving I have felt in my life. That is something to celebrate with a long bath!” And all I could think was, “Yeah and this is only the beginning – with the loving choices you are ongoingly making who knows how glorious you will be and what you will be celebrating with your bath in a few years from now!”
Thank you Jane, simply beautiful!
Thank you Jane – I have heard some of your kick-boxing stories and what you put yourself and your body through. I have been fooled by the ‘no pain, no gain’ lie in the past also – crazy how we over-rule the best messenger of what is good for our bodies – the body itself!!
Thank you, Jane. You are an inspiration and to see you today it is difficult to imagine you as a black belt kick-boxer. As you say Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, “offered me true inspiration. I could feel that they had made many changes in their own lives and were today loving, tender, gentle, self-kind, and deeply self-honest: this gave me permission to trust my own feelings and to give it a go in making changes for myself.” That is so true. It is through their example I have felt the trust to let down my shield to allow to express from the tender man I truly am.
Beautifully expressed, and inspirationally simple, thank you.
Thank you Jane for sharing your unfoldment openly and with honesty. I can relate to so many parts of the journey especially around what success can be measured to be which in life today is usually in disregard to our body. Thank goodness your body alerted this to you through ill health. There’s definitely celebration in this and the amazing changes that can happen thereafter and it is beautiful to read as you are too 🙂
Fantastic article Jane. As a former martial artist I now look back and realise how numb I must have been and the lack of self-love required to continue the constant assault to my body.
I didn’t go into martial arts, dance or any of the activities people are encouraging their children to start up with from very young ages with the intention of getting a competitive edge on their peers. Participating in this type of extra curricular activities is the norm for most children nowadays.
Your comment so shows how much those tender young people must be pushing/punishing themselves and their bodies to toughen up and numb themselves to the obvious pain these activities incur. There’s such an OUCH in that on many levels for all concerned.
This is very empowering and inspiring for all women – to see we can all connect to this tenderness and preciousness in our body, and develop it, no matter where we have been and what we have done. It makes me want to go and enjoy myself in a long hot bath right now!
Thank you Jane, how beauty-full it is that you are able to share this with us. I love the fact that through honesty we can really understand what it is our bodies truly want.
Thanks for sharing this Jane. I can relate to what you said about the black belt tough chick as I have been encouraging this in the past. I used to train them, supported them medically and also dated some of them. Looking back it does not make sense and being the tender and loving women you are today is so much more you and more inspiring then any ‘belt of toughness and disregard’ you collected in the past.
So beautiful and honest Jane, thank you so much. I loved your appreciation of your “ever growing self-patience, a loving diligence and an openness to be more honest with myself, I have turned things around”. The loving choices you have made for yourself are so clearly shown now in the gentle tenderness of your body. It’s so clear that these changes in your life are not from the old ‘to do list’ but from a genuine honouring of your deep beauty and nurturing that all women have but have often forgotten.
Just reading the title makes one think: How is that possible? and then another question some might ask: Why would anyone want to do that – go from ‘kicking’ to tenderness? Many women (and men) may actually not make the connection that something like kick-boxing could be a contributing factor to our ailments. These days any sport seems to be considered ‘good for our health’ – as long as we move, kick, jog, punch, get breath-less, we are doing something ‘good’ – right?! But what if we STOP and feel – like you did Jane? What if our body knows that which doesn’t support the tenderness we naturally are? What if we were not designed to: kick, punch, do 300 press-ups and lift 50kg, and for some perhaps not even 5kg in one go? Could it be that we might wish to seek answers to many of our questions whilst like you Jane, we are in a yummy, sensational smelling, hot tub. 🙂
Jane, thank you so much for your beautiful post. I’m deeply inspired by you and by the way you take care and celebrate yourself. Reading your post gave me goose bumps as just last weekend I was having a peppermint foot soak (inspired by you!) and felt the skin in my feet was so soft (I too used to have hard skin on my feet) and I stopped to appreciate myself and YOU for the inspiration. THANK YOU!
A glorious expression and inspiration for self love and deep nurturing. Thank you for sharing you Jane. I agree with Sandra – feeling and knowing you only as the gorgeous woman that you reflect… certainly not as a kick boxer!
Wow Jane, I cannot imagine you as the kick boxer. I only know you as the wonderful gentle and tender woman that you are, and that can be felt so clearly from your article.
An awesome post Jane. The love and tenderness I feel whilst reading this is beauty-full. Thank you for sharing with us. Indeed something to celebrate.
Beautiful blog Jane – thank you for sharing ‘your bath’ with all of us.
Thank you Jane – a reminder for us all. How wonderful to take that loving moment in the bath to reflect how far you have come. A true inspiration.
Reading this ‘celebration of you’ Jane – from the love which you now honour yourself with, to the deep acceptance of how you once were, to the truly tender beauty of how your body now feels, to you… leaves me nothing but inspired. This quote I love: “And so, gently over the last few years, I have made many small changes to the way I am living…”. You have so beautifully described ‘another way’ to the hardness, the push, fatigue and more that so many of us as women suffer. A way of listening to our bodies, feeling what is right for us, and honouring this with the changes we feel to make – and this needn’t be overwhelming, just gentle steps… Simply awesome, delectable and joyous!
Jane, this blew me away. You are an inspiration. The momentum of all that ‘activity’ would have been huge. To stop, feel and look at it all for what it was / is… Amazing. Thank you for sharing.
The word ‘power’ comes to mind as I read this amazing blog. There was the incredible dynamo of the kick boxing, cycling, running, driving wind-up toy, and then the incredible willingness to turn and feel within and find the delicious and true power of the living woman that you are – how real and how glorious to be powering with the fuel of Love.
This was awesome to read Jane, as it supports us to listen more to our bodies, and a key point that you mention is then to express what it is we are feeling. I love the way you also talk about supporting the body, the example being if something no longer feels right to use on the body then throw it out and find something that does. Learning to honour our bodies as women is truly something to celebrate.
A truly amazing description of what is possible if and when we start to accept the invitation of our closest companion – our body – and respond to it by honouring its wisdom. Thank you Jane.
Jane, I do not personally know you, but wow what a transformation. I am so glad you now celebrate yourself and all you have achieved. My heart is also celebrating with you, thank you Jane.
What an inspiration to all women who live in that hard, driven way. And to feel so sensitively down to the chemicals you use on your body – advertisers will need to watch out as we women ignore their ‘attractive’ words and images and go for what we FEEL is great for us to use. Awesome Jane, thank you!
A really special piece, Jane, thankyou for sharing your gorgeous transformation.
And we all get to now enjoy your tenderness, gentleness and loving ways too.
Win:Win I reckon! Thank you for this lovely article Jane.
Beautiful Jane. Thankyou
you are awesome Jane….
Beautiful Jane thank you and beautifully expressed – it is easy to feel the transformation you describe. What strikes me most is that what you say illustrates the shift to a much deeper love, appreciation and fulfilment of yourself as a woman – and that your body is something YOU enjoy just by being in it as a result. Nothing you describe was about doing any of what you’ve done to please anybody else.
As i said…beautiful and very inspiring!