Being pregnant was a joy and happened so much quicker than I had expected. I was in complete awe of my body and how everything interconnected and worked in a beautiful rhythm to create what was to be a little human being. It was incredible and made me appreciate my body and just how amazing it was to see myself grow and shift with each stage of the pregnancy, as early as it was. I knew I was pregnant the moment we had conceived and I also knew I was having a girl. It was as if all of my senses had become more aware and a great feeling of clarity came to the surface: my world had changed in many ways, and more would soon follow.
There is a lot of talk and discussion around feeling connected with our children during pregnancy while in utero, once they are born and for the many years of life ahead to come… What I’ve noticed of particular interest is how for many, we can feel disconnected from them and also hold many pictures of what connecting with them actually looks and feels like – for a woman and equally so for a man.
Two days ago, after a missed period in my menstrual cycle I took a pregnancy test that confirmed positive results. I’m pregnant!
Initially I didn’t believe my eyes! And yet when I looked deeply into those eyes in the bathroom mirror I recall feeling absolute love, joy and confirmation for what was ahead.
In this moment I immediately felt everything that this meant and would mean, how my life would change but mostly the huge responsibility that I was saying yes to (which I’ll explain more about) and this felt BIG.
The responsibility that comes with bringing a child into the world is no small thing. It affects every aspect of life – socially, physically, emotionally, psychologically and financially. For many women the experience of falling pregnant is welcomed, planned and embraced as a joyful life event, but when pregnancy is ‘unexpected’, as 50% of them are1, it comes with a mixture of emotions from shock, dread, surprise, fear and feelings of ‘what do I do now’?
I was pregnant ‘unexpectedly’ at 24 years old. I was well aware of how to, and how not to get pregnant, so no blame of insufficient sex education rests here. For me at the time life was ticking along; I was newly in a relationship with a man I was besotted with and although his feelings for me were not fully reciprocated, you could say we, ‘enjoyed ourselves’. The result being a night of passion where caution was thrown to the wind with us knowing I was likely to be ovulating. At the time I was not taking any oral contraception and that night having no other means of contraception available the choice was made to ‘carry on regardless’ throwing caution and implications to the wind in the moment…only to have them blow right back again after the moment had gone. Continue reading “An Unexpected Pregnancy: Making Truly Responsible Choices”
The first two trimesters – Letting go of Control and Perfection of pregnancy for me were a time of new beginnings, with the opportunity to feel what was in the way of me being able to more deeply embrace the womanly quality of stillness I naturally have. I found that during my first trimester my need for perfection was revealed, and after releasing as much of this need as I was able to, I began to see moving into my second trimester of pregnancy that it was about letting go of my need to control others and my environment.
So as I headed into my third trimester without this incessant quest for perfection or the overriding drive to control in order to ‘protect’ myself, what was being uncovered was my natural tenderness in being vulnerable.
Losing a baby through miscarriage can bring up so many feelings. When I miscarried my first child at only one month, a month that has left a lasting legacy to this day, the fact that it was so early didn’t really change the intensity of the emotion.
I remember feeling the profundity of the miracle of being pregnant; I felt very connected and still, and had the deep sense that we are so much more than our physicality. It was an amazing experience to feel so connected to this unborn child. I knew within days of conception that I was pregnant and that I was pregnant with a girl. I already knew her name. I could feel her beauty, her joy, her strength and her grace. When I was pregnant with her, whilst I was holding her preciously she was also doing the same for me. Throughout the pregnancy I was able to connect to and sustain my exquisite stillness that as a woman I naturally possess; I also felt more connected to everything around me. My senses were heightened and more receptive and everything looked and felt lighter, sharper, richer and more colourful.
Pregnancy is a time of new beginnings and not just because there is a new person growing and developing inside. The true beauty of pregnancy is that it offers the opportunity for a deep change to take place in the way we live as women. A change that is initiated from deep within and supported by all that is offered during pregnancy.
Pregnancy is a time for us, as women, to experience ourselves more deeply as the delicate, sensitive and nurturing women we naturally are.
I have had the opportunity to be pregnant twice and from these pregnancies I now have two amazing daughters. Each time I learnt a profound amount about how I was living as a woman leading up to each pregnancy and the changes that were needed as each one progressed.
I was the Perfect Modern time Woman.
Travelling the world, successful, different not mainstream, fun to be with, partying lifestyle, good-looking and with a job that had the purpose to change the structures we live in and make the world a better place. Yet at the same time I was bored with life and could not see its deeper meaning. Getting older, having a family and importantly raising kids seemed to be the sole purpose to life, but I already did this back in my early twenties supporting my sister in bringing up her daughter, my niece. The role of ‘mothering’ came easily to me and felt very natural; I just loved taking care of little kids and babies. I enjoyed their easiness and calmness. But the event of my years’ later miscarriage offered me a different view and opened me up to the possibility of what true mothering and motherhood was, and that this first stemmed from a way in which I treated and looked after myself. Continue reading “Miscarriage – The Blessing That Opened Me Up To True Motherhood”
This blog has been moved. Please click here to read this inspiring blog by Nicole Rickets on taking care of ourselves as women during pregnancy.
by Nicole Ricketts, Childcare Worker, Goonellabah, Australia
There are many ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ for a woman when she is pregnant, as we all know. For example, most doctors will recommend that you stop drinking alcohol (or at least cut back significantly) and stop smoking while pregnant. More and more women are now doing this, as we understand more about the effects these things have on ourselves and on the baby.
But then, what happens after the baby is born or perhaps after we stop breastfeeding? Continue reading “Why do We take ‘Better’ Care of Ourselves as Women, when We are Pregnant?”