My Third Trimester of Pregnancy & Giving Birth – Surrendering to Being Vulnerable as a Woman

The first two trimesters – Letting go of Control and Perfection of pregnancy for me were a time of new beginnings, with the opportunity to feel what was in the way of me being able to more deeply embrace the womanly quality of stillness I naturally have. I found that during my first trimester my need for perfection was revealed, and after releasing as much of this need as I was able to, I began to see moving into my second trimester of pregnancy that it was about letting go of my need to control others and my environment.

So as I headed into my third trimester without this incessant quest for perfection or the overriding drive to control in order to ‘protect’ myself, what was being uncovered was my natural tenderness in being vulnerable.

Surrendering to Being Vulnerable – The Third Trimester

I continued to let go even more of the need to ‘protect’ myself, and this opened up more space for me to be more vulnerable. And the more I let go and surrendered into accepting being vulnerable I felt my body loosen up and become more relaxed. I felt the stillness that is offered through pregnancy support me to be more open to connecting with everyone around me and I felt myself become more tender and open too.

As the birth became more imminent I was aware of some anxiety about how I was going to handle the pain and the possible sleeplessness. This showed me that I needed to surrender even more deeply to being vulnerable and allow the delicate woman I am, to hold me in my natural stillness.

Robyn with her pregnancy
Robyn with her pregnancy

This deep knowing of my stillness as a woman supports as a reminder through the intensities that can come with labour and early motherhood – to know who I am deep within and know I can make the necessary choices to look after myself and my new baby throughout the entire process.

So I allowed myself time to take stock of all the caring and loving choices I make for myself on a daily basis and how these support me during every day. This allowed me to feel how giving birth was just another day where I would continue to make loving choices for myself as I do every other day. This clarity brought with it a deeper feeling of being vulnerable and open to whatever decisions may need to be made during the birth and took the anxiety away, so when it came time to give birth I knew I had all I needed within me. I was now ready!

The Birth – A time for being vulnerable and open to what is needed

As I went into labour I felt confident and strong. The labour was quick and intense and I could feel all that was happening and what decisions I needed to make for myself as it unfolded due to the clarity and steadiness I had connected to and deepened while I was pregnant. I was open to allowing others to support and assist me and my health professionals felt this steadiness and clarity in me too, so the advice and support they offered throughout the birth and immediately afterwards was equally steady and exactly what was needed. I considered all the advice they offered and they did not hesitate to carry through any of my requests. I felt so well looked after.

I took a few moments to myself afterwards to honour the experience my body had just been through and to re-group by focusing on the stillness within me.

After giving birth I felt incredibly fragile and very vulnerable for many weeks and knew that I needed to rest my body, as well as take care of our gorgeous new baby. Just allowing myself the space and time to listen to what my body needed at this time, accepting support from my husband and close friends, and continuing to make loving choices every moment I could, made this time so much easier and more enjoyable.

All the work I had done while I was pregnant and leading into the birth had given me an amazing foundation to continue allowing myself to surrender even more deeply to being vulnerable and open. It supported me to give myself what I needed and allowed space for others to help me, which in turn, supported our entire family.

The True Beauty of Pregnancy

My daughter is now 1 and as I reflect on this amazing process I appreciate the enormous opportunity being pregnant offers – the true beauty of pregnancy – the call from deep within, back to being the delicate, tender and nurturing woman that resides there.

Pregnancy brings with it the energy of stillness to support us to see with increased clarity what is in our way, release what is not needed, and return to being the Woman within, unhindered by the beliefs and ideals that bind us. This process is also deeply personal and tailored to what each and every woman needs to be supported in her return.

It was a time that I deeply treasure and 1 year on I can feel the foundation of stillness, tenderness and vulnerability that I allowed to build throughout this amazing process, has continued to develop and deepen. I can feel that I am living more of the Woman I naturally am and this allows me to connect more deeply to what is needed to truly mother myself, and both our girls in the most supportive way. I am also able to relate to my husband with more tenderness and openness, which is allowing us to heal a lot of what has not been working in our relationship; therefore we are more united and loving with each other.

Pregnancy has been very revealing to me and very supportive of my development of surrendering to being vulnerable as a Woman. I now understand the incredible beauty that pregnancy offers and I am now able to share my experience with other women and their families.

By Robyn Jones, 40, Married with two gorgeous children, Counsellor, Baker, Blossoming Woman, B.Sc. (Psych), Northern Rivers, NSW, Australia

You may also like to read about how Robyn’s 1st and 2nd trimesters went in The True Beauty of Pregnancy – Letting go of Control and Perfection

And Paula’s journey into accepting here own tenderness in  A True Woman: Surrendering To My Tenderness
“we as women have innate qualities of tenderness, preciousness and even sacredness within us – if we choose to surrender to them.”

And Jean Gamble on Vulnerability: Opening The Way For Healthier Relationships
“Once we can begin to feel our tenderness and vulnerability – we can learn to express it and share these feelings with our partners and close friends.”

511 thoughts on “My Third Trimester of Pregnancy & Giving Birth – Surrendering to Being Vulnerable as a Woman

  1. It is beautiful to feel how in surrendering to your vulnerability this has supported you and those around you to go deeper with your relationships. Truly inspiring and so supportive for women at a time when they are bombarded with lots of conflicting advice that never suggests that if they connect within they will innately know what they need.

  2. Thank you for sharing the wonder of pregnancy and how it gives every women an opportunity of realising their own stillness, tenderness and vulnerability. When a women connects to this she feels deeply the power and divinity within.

  3. Recently, I was given an opportunity to let go of another level control and as I did so I was left feeling very vulnerable. I happened to be at a wedding party and although I felt the decision to let go to be true, the vulnerability exposed within me afterwards left me with a feeling of not wanting to be seen. I felt hurt. I have since began to share how I felt with very little reaction and no attachment. What I get is when we allow ourselves to feel what is true in the moment- the control, letting go, vulnerability, rawness, not wanting to be seen etc, there is so much to appreciate because of the choice we have made to be present with ourselves to feel.

  4. Seeing a woman in her last trimester who is surrendered in her body and generally more connected, taking more care of herself and really honouring her body is beautiful to behold.

  5. Whats great here is that you remember the last stages of pregnancy and the birth. Many people share how they blank this out and forget about the experience – but it is so important we are present in each and every moment.

    1. Absolutely and so valuable for other women going through pregnancy and childbirth to be able to read of another woman’s experience of the whole process.

  6. I am in my third trimester of pregnancy and it feels very different from the first time around. I am more surrendered in my body, more aware, more connected in general. And I am taking more care of myself – for instance I am committed to taking vitamins and supplements so my system does not block up. There are so many ways we can learn and develop in our own bodies.

  7. It is important to address this area as well, especially with a new baby in the family, ‘I am also able to relate to my husband with more tenderness and openness, which is allowing us to heal a lot of what has not been working in our relationship; therefore we are more united and loving with each other.’

  8. I have avoided vulnerability most of my life and especially when I became a mother. I thought I had to do it all on my own and that asking for help was a sign of weakness and showing that you can’t cope. These were very damaging beliefs not only to me but also to my family and friends around me who at times I pushed away. What you discovered and allowed yourself to surrender to throughout your pregnancy, is so valuable and powerful for all women to hear, as it supports them as women during and after pregnancy as well.

  9. Such a joy to read this Robyn and appreciate the stillness that is offered in pregnancy. I am 26 weeks pregnant and I as I accept my body more and more – I feel more of the connection to myself and my baby which is a gorgeous feeling.

  10. Pregnancy and childbirth give us an amazing opportunity to surrender and accept our vulnerability – but as with many areas of life we can often pick up the reins of where we left off before becoming pregnant and return to an old way of being – often with more ‘doing’ than ‘being’. Beautiful that you can still ‘feel the foundation of stillness, tenderness and vulnerability’ from that time one year on – and that first year can be intense!

  11. It is our connection to the depth of our stillness that is the anchor that holds us steady through whatever storm life may blow our way. Pregnancy is a period of grace for all woman to feel what is possible when we allow ourselves to live in this way, in connection with what is innately within us all.

  12. What I loved reading here was how you opening up and allowing yourself to feel and be more vulnerable opened up the way for deeper and more loving relationships with others in your life, too. When we’re hard and protected, we think there’s less risk of getting hurt but actually we’re hurting ourselves, because there’s no joy in that isolation and self-made fortress, where there’s no connection, not even to ourselves.

  13. How beautiful you allowed yourself so much reflection and took so much responsibility for yourself during your pregnancy and birth. It is inspiring.

  14. What a beautiful sharing Robyn, your willingness to deeply surrender and allow your vulnerability is such a reflection that many women wold feel inspired to live as well.

  15. “what was being uncovered was my natural tenderness in being vulnerable” pregnancy can be a beautiful opportunity to know the innate stillness within and prepare a loving body to cherish both yourself and the baby.

  16. Wow! Being pregnant was a full-time program of self-awareness and development for you. The 3 things you have named that you worked with, control, perfection and surrender are things that most women seem to struggle with and often give in to. The stillness that comes with being pregnant is profound and provides an inner quiet, so there is far greater clarity about how to care for your body and being.

  17. It is beautiful to feel how in surrendering to al the learning on offer in your pregnancy you opened up to support from others as well as yourself and deepened all your relationships.

  18. I love what has been offered here; that the opportunity to deepen our connection to ourselves is always there, and perhaps more obviously so when we/our body is going through something like pregnancy – but it could be equally applied to a house move, job transition, or relationship issues. Knowing that it’s the support that we give to ourselves that provides a steady foundation to come back to in rocky times is a huge support in itself.

  19. It really shows that how you are with yourself during the pregnancy and labour will determine how the experience of it will be. For instance you were very strong and steady with yourself throughout the whole pregnancy, labour and everything that went on around it like the medical staff that supported you could be steady and solid too.

  20. I love what you share Robyn in regards to your pregnancy and how letting go of control and the need to have things a certain way allowed you to see the absolute beauty and power of vulnerability in all it’s glory. A pleasure to read thank you.

  21. How lovely to come across such a beautiful sharing on pregnancy. It really is a magical time and the potential to understand yourself as a women on a deeper level feels quite profound.

  22. This is a beautiful sharing Robyn of all you observed and learned from in your pregnancy. Accepting ourselves as vulnerable beings is a surrender in itself.

    1. I couldn’t agree more Kathleen, “Accepting ourselves as vulnerable beings is a surrender in itself.” and I’m finding a healing too, letting go of all the images, beliefs and ideals around being a woman and mothering.

  23. The quality and the space that you describe here really comes across in your writing and I can feel it in my body and whilst I have never been pregnant I know I can connect to that exact same quality in me too.

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