In my work as a midwife I have the awesome privilege to be with women when they can resource deeply their true magnificence.
Being pregnant and giving birth is a time in a woman’s life when she has a relationship with her body that is very real and full. A time when she can get to know herself and her true strength and qualities, as her body does some of the most amazing and miraculous things ever. Continue reading “Women are Magnificent”→
I grew up in a culture where a woman’s place really is in the kitchen (or the bedroom).
There are certain social, widely accepted ‘norms’ that must be followed: the man is the head, the bread winner, the tough iron shield of the family; the woman, the woman, as my male relative would put it is the “neck of the family, supporting the head in deciding the way forward”. But in truth, the neck is to very quietly express their opinion, and only where it suits the ideals of the men because at the end of the day, it’s the head that makes the decision.
Have you ever wanted your best friend on tap 24/7? What if you had a direct open phone line with truth, with yourself, on tap? An innate wisdom and sacredness that knows which choices to make, how to move, how to eat, how to sleep, how to breathe, how to walk, how to dress. A wisdom that knows how to respond all of the time, in any given situation, even in new situations that spring up unexpectedly – and, it was absolutely free of charge? Wouldn’t that be remarkable?
I stood in front of the mirror and was drawn to my eyes… they were shining and so full of light that I stayed there for quite some time, mesmerised by the beauty they radiated and promised. The sheer sweetness and delicacy in my face reminded me of the beautiful little girl inside me – a sweet, moment… a soul-full moment… I was alive because I had discovered a new way of living.
4 years ago when I looked in the same mirror, my eyes reflected a dullness, a tiredness, sadness, struggle, a giving up and an ache, a longing to know that there had to be more to life than my painful existence. I tended to avoid looking deeply into my eyes because truth never hides when sought and the truth was painful – my eyes spoke volumes.
Jacqueline in the Bahamas aged 44
So what happened in the short space of 4 years? I changed… I changed my life, or it could be said that life changed me, and I was more than ready.
The diagnosis of breast cancer in July 2011 was a life changing event for me in a magnificent way, mainly because it was the catalyst of letting go of an old way of living (from my head) and beginning to live from my body – a whole new experience. From the intelligence of my body I knew which choices would truly support and that is why they were so successful and brought a new quality to my life.
What Were The Choices I Made?
My very first decision was to put myself first in my life.
My second decision was to give myself all the support my body and I needed.
From these three decisions, all other choices I made naturally unfolded… I made changes to my diet, sleep, exercise… but mainly I slowed down and in this slower pace it was clear to see what mattered and what didn’t. It was heaven to take all the rest and sleep my body needed at any time of the day… for as long as I needed.
It took me to develop breast cancer to break this life-long pattern of putting all others before myself, so ingrained and unconscious this habit had become. By doing so, by cutting this old energy of self-abuse, I was saying “No More!” to a lifestyle that led to my breast cancer and I was saying yes to a new way of living that was truly self-supporting. Without realizing this then, I was actually building a new foundation for my life that would not only greatly support me during treatment, but how I was going to move forward, that is, how I was going to live after treatment ended.
My second decision was born from the first and was very powerful because I turned my old pattern of being unable to receive or ask for support on its head to: “I need all the support that is available to guide me through a land I had never travelled before – breast cancer”.
My third decision was born from the second. I just knew that the combination of both medicines (conventional and Esoteric Medicine) would provide all the support my body needed, addressing all the parts of me that desperately needed attention – the whole me and not just my right breast. This proved to be a very wise decision.
And in that very wise decision came a new insight, which was;
I had a significant part to play in my own recovery.
All of a sudden, there was me, there was my medical treatment and esoteric medicine; so much support for me. This feeling of so much support, something I had never had before, somehow comforted me on many levels, so much so that there was no way I could feel powerless, or feel like a victim, or go into ‘fight’ mode as is expected as soon as you get cancer. When I allowed the support I could let go of the struggle of having to do things on my own!
To Fight or To Surrender?
Had I not met Serge Benhayon and had his loving support, I too feel I would have taken on the fight, making it impossible to surrender – making it impossible to accept what I had created.
But as it was, not one bone in my body said, “I have to fight this cancer”. My whole life had been a battle and I was so done with the struggle, I had no fight left in me to either fight life or my breast cancer. The moment I gave up the ‘fight’ was the moment I could surrender, was the moment I allowed grace to enter… and this was the moment I could have all the support I could handle.
Now I have come to understand why I always felt a lack of support in my life was simply because I was not ready to take responsibility for my life or my choices. When I did take responsibility so much support was there for me, and having adequate support in place was crucial for me as it took away so much of my fear which initially had overwhelmed me, as fear had kept me in resistance to treatment.
The belief that we have to fight cancer, is a great distraction from truly seeing what learning is being offered to us by the cancer in our body, and what life style changes it is asking us to make.
For instance I have come to understand from what Serge Benhayon presents, that the breasts are the nurturing centres of the body, therefore my breast cancer was showing me the deep lack of self-nurturing I had for myself. I had no clue how to self-nurture, nor self-nourish, having always taken care of others first. I had to re-learn how to truly self-care and self-nurture, which flowed naturally when I started listening to my body and what it was communicating to me.
Life Is About Quality
Having surrendered and accepted my part in creating breast cancer my life took on a new quality. My quality of life changed because I was choosing to allow support, self-support, self-nurture, self-nourishment, which began a new relationship and reconnection with my body. Ah my body…
Truth never hides when sought, and truth can be painful. The painful truth for me was that I had given up on myself, then used many distractions not to feel this – not to feel how deeply disconnected and checked-out I was with my body. But, as I discovered: honouring myself reconnected me with my body and brought me back to truth and truth brought me back to myself and my sweetness…
The beautiful, sweet little girl I had always been inside began to trust – trust herself, trust in people, trust in life, trust that her purpose in life was just to be herself, and with this knowing, she could let go of how serious, small and constricted her life had become, (her old way of living) and open to the grandness that life is, that she is, that we all are… This is such a sweet moment, a soul-full moment because I am alive; you just have to look into my eyes…
I am a Soul. We are all souls on this earth finding our way back home; self-love is the key.
‘True Power is in honouring who you truly are’.
Read Fiona McGovern’s deeply inspiring account of how she found herself in My Right Breast – Finding Me Beneath the Cancer “I have found the reflection of how to be a woman! It was with me all along, waiting for me to reconnect to her…I have met me.”
Fiona’s writing continue in My Marriage of Conventional Medicine and Esoteric Medicine
“People say cancer is a fight. I don’t feel it is. The battle for me was before, when I lived from ideals and beliefs, now I have reconnected to me there is no fight or battle, just a beautiful return to truth.”
I suppose that almost every woman has to criticize something about herself: her legs, her bum, her breasts, her hair, her nose – sad but true.
For a long time for me it was my lips.
I really did not like my lips. They were small and slim, had no true colour and they felt hard. I felt there was no point in giving them any attention, other than some light, almost colourless lip-gloss sometimes.
One day a friend of mine, while we were sharing with other friends what kind and colours of lipsticks we use, said to me: “I think that a warm deep red would suit you very well!”
“Whaat?“ I said. There’s no way I would wear a darker colour and especially not red! My lips are small and in no way beautiful enough for the colour red!
Over the next two days she ‘haunted’ me with the red lipstick. Every time I saw her she said smilingly, ‘red lipstick!’ and I’d start to run….
Do you remember the story of the Princess and the Pea? It is the one where the princess can feel a pea under her mattress. More and more mattresses are piled on top of it but she can still feel the pea. Most of us do not have royal status but it is interesting to ponder on our own human sensitivity and how we often override what we feel.
It may sound easy to compile a list of the many common activities or regimes one could do to nurture themselves. Men and women can incorporate many self-care activities into their lives that bring relaxation or reward to their day, ticking the self-nurturing box by spending the time or money on self, finding the time away from the stresses of work or busy family life.
But by ‘doing’ the activities and ticking the self-care and self-loving boxes are we really developing our OWN natural way of nurturing ourselves?
Our bodies know more about what we are feeling and what it means to be truly nurturing than we have acknowledged them for. When we begin to reconnect to ourselves and our natural way of being we become more certain of what is right for us, in any moment. Anyone can run a warm bath as a nurturing act for self, but if it is not what you truly feel to do in that moment is it of any true support to you, your body and to your well-being?