Nurturing Moments, True Self-Care

by Cherise Holt, Nurse, Brisbane

It may sound easy to compile a list of the many common activities or regimes one could do to nurture themselves. Men and women can incorporate many self-care activities into their lives that bring relaxation or reward to their day, ticking the self-nurturing box by spending the time or money on self, finding the time away from the stresses of work or busy family life.

But by ‘doing’  the activities and ticking the self-care and self-loving boxes are we really developing our OWN natural way of nurturing ourselves?

Our bodies know more about what we are feeling and what it means to be truly nurturing than we have acknowledged them for. When we begin to reconnect to ourselves and our natural way of being we become more certain of what is right for us, in any moment. Anyone can run a warm bath as a nurturing act for self, but if it is not what you truly feel to do in that moment is it of any true support to you, your body and to your well-being?

  • Are we listening to our own bodies?
  • Do we honour what we feel?
  • Do we make our next choice based on this?

I have purchased the Our Cycles App for my iPhone, a beautifully supportive App that was designed by Natalie Benhayon which assists me to track and chart my own personal cycle as a woman. Within the App there is a calendar to record my own ‘Nurturing Moments’. I was at first unclear as to what this meant, what would be a good example of such a moment? My head could easily compile a list of many activities but this calendar was asking me to record something greater. I felt like I was presented with an opportunity to go deeper with myself and explore what nurturing really is for me, and this process has been beautiful.

What I have discovered in the last couple of years is that every person, male or female, has their own personal expression – so it makes sense to me that the way in which we choose to nurture ourselves must also come with our own quality. So, for me a nurturing moment can be anything that truly honours what I feel, and this honours the connection with me that I hold.

What if every moment is a new opportunity to stop and ask yourself what you are feeling?

This very question may be the most deeply self-nurturing you have been with yourself all day, as you have provided yourself with the permission to communicate honestly with you and with where you are at. A double-gift really, as you have now created the space to support your next choice: to override what you feel by doing something you don’t want to do or something you think you should do – or to listen to your body, honour what is right for you and feel the expansion and self-empowerment that emanates when you deeply honour yourself.

Opportunities for Nurturing Moments Present Everywhere:

  • the way I apply my make-up
  • how I lovingly cook a meal for myself
  • the way I make my bed
  • the way I take a shower
  • how I write an email
  • the way I clean my kitchen
  • how I drive my car, or
  • walk the corridor at work

The love that is possible within each small detail is remarkable.

For me it’s not only how I drive my car, but how I enjoy my body when I place ‘me’ in the seat and how I appreciate the delicateness in my fingertips when I move the steering wheel or turn the indicator on.

When we honour what we feel in a moment, more moments are naturally presented to us. We find the opportunities to be truly self-nurturing and make the choices to do what feels true. I know it has nothing to do with the activity or the ‘doing’, it feels simpler and more real than this. Self-nurturing doesn’t need to be for a special occasion or an event, to escape from my day or to reward myself in any way.

Nurturing is anything we choose to lovingly do for ourselves, in any moment.

333 thoughts on “Nurturing Moments, True Self-Care

  1. When it comes to self care and nurturing, it is also the HOW we do things (the quality) that matters just as much as the WHAT we actually are doing…

  2. Nurturing and self care is truly unique to each and every one of us and our needs in that moment in time: “What I have discovered in the last couple of years is that every person, male or female, has their own personal expression – so it makes sense to me that the way in which we choose to nurture ourselves must also come with our own quality. So, for me a nurturing moment can be anything that truly honours what I feel, and this honours the connection with me that I hold.”

  3. Self care truly is a moment to moment awareness and acting on that awareness with an immediacy and not something we think of and consider for a later stage. If we feel like we need to go to the bathroom then part of self care is to go as soon as possible. This sounds simple enough but how often do we rather push through some jobs to finish as much as possible before we listen to the body and go to the bathroom?

  4. Cherise you have a great point here, and great to expose the fact that ticking a box does not represent true self care: “But by ‘doing’ the activities and ticking the self-care and self-loving boxes are we really developing our OWN natural way of nurturing ourselves?”

  5. “When we honour what we feel in a moment, more moments are naturally presented to us.” As we establish a level of self-care and nurturing into our everyday movements anything that is not of this quality becomes very apparent.

  6. Yes Cherise, the way in which we nurture ourselves can vary from one person to the next however what is key is that to nurture has to be in honour of us and that every movement is made to support this.

  7. ‘for me a nurturing moment can be anything that truly honours what I feel, and this honours the connection with me that I hold’. I found this blog just in time . Something in my head has been telling me to go to the gym because I have only been one day so far and I really need to do two days a week and yet my body is tired – I would be pushing it to go to the gym. Far more honouring to have an early night and be well prepared for tomorrow which is a full day with an early start.

  8. Forget learning, science, drama and language at school – self care -“Are we listening to our own bodies? Do we honour what we feel?Do we make our next choice based on this?” this is the true education one needs as their foundation, once this foundation is in place then we can learn other things.

  9. When you have ignored your body and treated it poorly for a very long time, the only way to make true lasting change is to start with honesty. Being honest allows us to see so much more than we allowed ourselves previously, and supports us to see what needs letting go and changing.

  10. There are so many ways to nurture ourselves, which will be different for us all. But once we start to truly nurture, you cannot go back to old ways of disregard or mistreating your body.

  11. I love the Our Cycles App and have been using it more lately and reading your blog has been really supportive as when I get to the Nurturing Journal in the App for each day I am kind of like ‘er oh gosh have I had no nurturing moments! 😳 However, what I have got from what you have shared here is that nurturing is not necessarily about something we have ‘done’ for ourselves but it can be have we give ourselves a moment in the day to stop and honour what we are feeling. And this also showed me I, currently, do not feel I give myself such a space so readily as I could or as much as I could.

  12. Beautiful simplicity in true self-care: a choice available to us in every moment, to bring our attention to our quality of being in that moment, and how ‘with ourselves’ and with our bodies, we’re choosing to be.

  13. It’s so lovely to come to the Women in Livingness blog and read what women are sharing. So many articles aimed at women tell her how to look better, be fitter, healthier, look younger, be sexier, be a better mother, wife, worker…the list goes on and on. Here women talk about how to deepen their love of themselves and how that translates into the practicalities of life. Love it!

  14. “So, for me a nurturing moment can be anything that truly honours what I feel”. I agree that it’s not about set actions but responding to my body. I find just the act of being humble enough to stop and listen, then act on what I have felt is deeply honouring.

  15. “Nurturing is anything we choose to lovingly do for ourselves, in any moment.” And it is a constant, not a one off This way of being has ripple effects: the quality of tenderness and delicateness we give ourselves felt by those we meet in our every day.

  16. This is beautiful, true nurturing is the quality we bring to every activity not something regarded as separate and special.

    1. You make a great point here Kehinde – for once we start to truly nurture ourselves with quality, you cannot seclude this to one part of your live, for it becomes something that spills into all areas of our lives, and beautifully so.

  17. This is a lovely example of how driving your car as a nurturing moment can be deepened, ”For me it’s not only how I drive my car, but how I enjoy my body when I place ‘me’ in the seat and how I appreciate the delicateness in my fingertips when I move the steering wheel or turn the indicator on.’

  18. The way I choose to be with myself in any activity can be self nurturing and this is how I approach my whole day rather than waiting until I have time to ‘do’ a nurturing activity when everything else is done. This has been a revelation for me and allowed me to bring a deeper level of self care to my life.

  19. There’s something very practical about nurturing: bringing a loving quality into all that we do, and living in a way where this is a normal way of living and being, one that doesn’t need a special activity to allow us to feel this way.

  20. I find that there are so many areas to experiment with and bring a gentleness too. Then once I start to bring this into my day -to-day it becomes natural for me and i can start to appreciate the value of nurturing myself. There are some really great examples shared here.

  21. “So, for me a nurturing moment can be anything that truly honours what I feel, and this honours the connection with me that I hold.” Yes I have been finding this too, it is very nurturing to just allow myself to feel and be with myself and hold myself very closely in that moment. Sort of saying ‘I am here with you/me’. This totally changes how I respond to intense situations, which often I did not even realise I found intense.

  22. The interesting question here is why we don’t self care: when we don’t look after ourselves, it keeps us feeling low, literally like we don’t matter, and stops us connecting from our true purpose and all that we’re here to do. When we start to take deeper care, we feel more, connect more, to who we are, our worth and value – and start to inspire others to truly know who they are, too.

  23. I love how you share some examples of how nurturing moments are possible everywhere, and also that, ‘The love that is possible within each small detail is remarkable.’

  24. A nurturing moment is what truly honours us in the moment as you share, and the Our Cycles App can really support this, ‘I felt like I was presented with an opportunity to go deeper with myself and explore what nurturing really is for me, and this process has been beautiful.’

  25. “If it is not what you truly feel to do in that moment is it of any true support?” A great question Cherise, only in deepening our awareness and being willing to listen to what our body is calling for each time and honouring that feeling does our body feel truly nurtured and this is felt deeply within our body and communicated by our whole being.

  26. So valuable to highlight the key to nurturing is through building our awareness to how our body is feeling and what it is calling for in each moment.

    1. To look after ourselves deeply we do need to be aware of what is needed in that moment in time and this then requires us to pay attention to what the body is communicating and staying constantly aware of what is needed next. Body awareness is thus a great gift and the way for us to deepen our loving relationship with ourselves.

  27. With regard to self-nurturing it is the ‘how’ and the ‘way’ we do what we do; not just a tick box exercise. Truly listening to our own individual body will result in an experience that will be different from someone else’s.

  28. I love the simple questions you pose Cherise. Knowing what will support us and then truly responding to the call from our bodies.
    Are we listening to our own bodies?
    Do we honour what we feel?
    Do we make our next choice based on this?

    1. It’s so simple isn’t it Victoria, yet many women have been socialised to place others before themselves. It’s such an awesome and truly supportive foundation to listen to our bodies and to make choices that support how we are feeling.

    2. Thank you Victoria – this is simple formula, and one I would like to have as a fridge sticker to remind me each and every day of the simplicity of deeply caring and nurturing for myself…
      Nurturing Formula 101:
      Are we listening to our own bodies?
      Do we honour what we feel?
      Do we make our next choice based on this?

  29. This is beautiful Cherise, “So, for me a nurturing moment can be anything that truly honours what I feel, and this honours the connection with me that I hold.” Self nurturing is a quality we live with and not a tick box exercise.

  30. I find when I take the time in the morning to look after me, decide what I want to wear, sit down and put my make up on, go for a walk, have a cup of tea– all of this helps to keep me steady throughout the day and I don’t take as much stuff on or react to situations.

  31. “The love that is possible within each small detail is remarkable.” I love what you have described here Cherise, and the key as you have highlighted is to enjoy moving in connection with our body when we do things appreciating our qualities and honouring the rhythm of our body and what it is calling for.

  32. The details provide us with a solid foundation where we can deeply care for ourselves. It is the little things you have noted here that really make a difference in our day to day.

  33. Exploring this inner layer of care and nurturing is an amazing experience, because putting that little bit extra into how we look after ourselves can make all the difference to our day and if we feel supported throughout.

  34. I bought myself some red roses today which felt like a very as I was honouring the way I felt in that moment.

  35. It comes down to the quality we do things in, for example if we feel to apply moisturiser to our skin then honouring this choice is one thing, how we apply our cream is another.

  36. I am just about to begin an Esoteric Yoga program and Nurturing is the theme I have felt to choose, so reading this article is perfect timing in preparation for that. As you say nurturing has nothing to do with what I am doing, but all about the way in which or the quality in which I am doing what it is that I am doing. it honouring what I am feeling in every moment. I am looking forward to observing and deepening this for myself over the next week.

  37. Honouring what we are feeling in our body is so important to be able to truly nurture and value ourselves for who we are in our essence.

  38. Very nurturing to read Cherise. No matter where we are or what we are doing we have the choice to nurture ourselves and others – always an opportunity to mother ourselves and claim in the way that we know.

  39. ‘So, for me a nurturing moment can be anything that truly honours what I feel, and this honours the connection with me that I hold.’ Well said Cherise it can be absolutely anything providing it is truly what is needed at that time.

  40. “Nurturing is anything we choose to lovingly do for ourselves, in any moment.” I love this line and it really highlights the importance of making space to feel for ourselves what we need in that moment and also to then activate it, not just know it in our minds but doing the opposite.

  41. Yeah so often we can just jump into the day without fully looking after ourselves. This then puts us in a state of motion where it is easy to override and not notice how we feel.

    1. Yes we set the rhythm of the day in the quality we meet the day with. If the day before has been disharmonious or we have had a late night etc this is carried with us too..into the next.

  42. I agree Cherise, there are many opportunities presented everywhere throughout our day to nurture and care for ourselves and when we honour and appreciate this at every opportunity we build trust in what we are feeling and a steadiness and quality to our whole way of being

  43. I just loved what you have shared Cherise, I realise now how little I self nurture my body, by reading your blog and the comments I am inspired to bring self nurturing ways into my life opening up to be present and ask and feel what my body is sharing with me and honouring it.

  44. “I was presented with an opportunity to go deeper with myself and explore what nurturing really is for me” When we make the first move to truly nurture ourselves it opens up the way for he next move and the next so that it becomes crystal clear when we are not self-nurturing.

  45. I love how you have highlighted what true self-nurturing is Cherise, how crucial it is to feel what our body is communicating and calling for in each and every moment.

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