Having lived through breast cancer I now truly know that ‘prevention is better than a cure’, and the way forward in terms of preventing breast cancer and indeed all illness and disease has to be; changing how we feel about our bodies and embracing, acknowledging and appreciating how very precious and tender yet powerful they truly are. Honesty is the first step. Having discovered for myself the powerful medicine honesty is, I can share from my own experience with breast cancer and say without any hesitation:
I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.
A powerful statement, powerful in its honesty, and which had a powerful, remarkable impact on my treatment and recovery. By all considerations I was a healthy woman, I did lots of yoga, and did not smoke, rarely drank and was not overweight. So how did I create my own illness?
I was a master at abusing my body – and the greatest abuse to my body? …
I completely rejected my body, detested my body and was ashamed of my body. Thus I gave no thought, consideration or respect to my body in all that I did.
I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.
In this momentum of daily abuse I was living in ignorance, ignorant to the fact that like any vehicle, the body has to have maintenance too – check-ups, stop moments, rest periods, proper nourishment, sleep (quality sleep being the real fuel for the body). As it was I attended to none of this, therefore I was always running with my battery empty… exhausted.
Being exhausted from when I awoke, I needed something to get me through my day: sugar. Sugar was my choice of drug; I was a sugar addict. With my constant rushing, pushing and driving my body to live up to the roles I had taken on – superwoman/super-mum, and Mrs Independent who doesn’t need support – along with my daily sugar rush which provided the boost I needed to push and drive my body even more… yes, I abused my body. This complete lack of self-nurturing is how I lived every day and is how and why I developed breast cancer.
I have come to this awareness after the fact of breast cancer, but what is it we as women need to change in order to prevent this in the first place?
Rejecting, Abusing, Harming And Bashing Our Bodies Is ‘what we need to change’.
It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies. It is a billion, trillion, zillion times away from normal. It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.
Taking Care Of All Others Before Ourselves Is ‘what we need to change’.
It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.
When I put myself first and took care of my own needs, putting self-care and self-nurturing into my daily practice, everything changed in my life. It is like taking a magic pill as we no longer need the coping strategies and secondly, we begin to develop a loving relationship with ourselves and our bodies, through self-nourishing and self-appreciation.
It is self-love that stops the ingrained pattern of abusing our bodies, with self-love slowly replacing self-rejection.
I had rejected being a woman completely, I had rejected my own beauty, stillness and tenderness, and in that rejection had come the dishonouring of myself as a woman… No-one to blame; I dishonoured myself.
Coming to this awareness brought a new level of honesty, slowly I was able to claim back that which I walked away from; my own divinity and grace.
We take a huge step in our evolution when we stop rejecting self; when we stop rejecting our body and the love that we were born with and all are.
I certainly did.
Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?
I discovered the deeper I care, cherish, nourish and love my body the more my body truly supports and communicates to me the wisdom it holds, and the more I feel from my true essence; thus, it is from this space that I have made many new choices that truly honour, respect and evolve my physicality – my body.
Listening to the wisdom of our bodies is how we navigate through all illness and disease. The body knows how to make you stop, it also knows what support it needs to recover and truly heal. So many choices become available when we come back to living from our bodies.
I did change how I feel about my body and I stopped taking my body for granted. The catalyst was breast cancer – it provided me the ‘big stop’ and rest period my exhausted body needed. I did not work for one year during my treatment, and in that year my body taught me much… my body reflected much… my body asked me to listen… and I listened.
Before breast cancer I made choices that harmed and abused my body, now I am making loving choices that truly allow access to the wisdom and intelligence my body holds and at the same time
supports the prevention of future illness and disease.
Although we may not always be able to prevent breast cancer, it is possible to reduce our risk by taking responsibility for our life. I learned that my life and my health were a reflection of all my past choices. With embracing this simple, yet powerful truth, there was no space for feeling a victim of life, there was no space to blame anyone, thus another space opened up for me, the space to surrender…
Too late for prevention, nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing, healing and learning that was on offer, to accept what I had created, to accept that change was inevitable, to accept support and to continue to develop this new way of self-nurturing and honest living with myself.
In deep gratitude to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for all their support with my reconnection back to my body; this support with Sacred Esoteric Healing enabled me to listen and live from my body’s truth and guidance. I have also been supported by Esoteric Women’s Health to look at the bigger picture of my life and how I had been living as a woman.
by Jacqueline McFadden, BA in Computing and Human Resources; Teacher and Esoteric Healing Practitioner, The Netherlands
You may also Enjoy:
Breast Cancer – Prevention Has to be Better than a Cure by Jacqueline McFadden
“My life had been my own creation… including my breast cancer……”
Breast Cancer – Why Me by Rosanna Bianchini
“…‘Why me?’ is a welcomed inroad into exploring what choices in life we can make to instigate our own positive changes and bring back an awareness to our day to day choices.”
Developing Breast Cancer: BRCA, Genetics & Choices by Nykole Sargent
“I have spent the last 8 years studying health sciences, biotechnology, genetics, and molecular biology, and the last 5 years studying esoteric medicine. BRCA1 mutations have been gaining momentum in the press, and I feel to write about it from a scientific / medical perspective, as well as a personal / esoteric healing perspective….”
Women in Livingness Blog 
Nothing is nothing and everything is everything – there are no such things as random occurrences and everything happens for a reason: “Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?”
Women hating their body is a common theme – and yet this is so far from our natural state of being and one that we hold deep within us: “It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies. It is a billion, trillion, zillion times away from normal. It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.”
Wow Jacqueline, this really does expose how we can end up abusing ourselves without even realising the abuse we are inflicting and receiving – for any moment that we take things for granted, means that in essence we have disconnected from the beauty that is there to appreciate each and every day: “I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.”
“When I put myself first and took care of my own needs, putting self-care and self-nurturing into my daily practice, everything changed in my life.” This is the key for women to restore not just their health, but reconnection to themselves and their inner true qualities. We seem to feel it’s ok to place tremendous pressure on ourselves so long as the kids, partner, family, work, pets, etc, are doing ok. I know for me I’m still learning this and appreciate the inspiration of all you have shared.
Beautifully expressed how it is always our choice to self care and thus change deeply engrained patterns.
‘It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.’ This is such a pearl of wisdom that children need to grow up knowing so that we can turn the tide on our ever increasing rates of illness and disease.
“I learned that my life and my health were a reflection of all my past choices.” This realisation offers the opportunity to make different choices in the way we live.
Our body has so much wisdom, maybe it is wise to listen to what it shares with us, ‘I discovered the deeper I care, cherish, nourish and love my body the more my body truly supports and communicates to me the wisdom it holds, and the more I feel from my true essence; thus, it is from this space that I have made many new choices that truly honour, respect and evolve my physicality – my body.’
‘I completely rejected my body, detested my body and was ashamed of my body. Thus I gave no thought, consideration or respect to my body in all that I did.’ There is such an undercurrent of self-loathing and lack of self-worth under the functional veneer many women portray as having it all in check. it is a subtext that never gets spoken about or written about and yet, as you have shared, is a silent killer on so, so many levels. In the bigger context we need to first acknowledge it, then ask ourselves how we have been blind to it and then to focus on how we can raise every single little girl to know her own preciousness and glory.
It makes total sense to me that if we outright reject our bodies then we’re not going to care how much abuse we load into and onto them. Self love is a total game changer: starting with the smallest of choices, we can, over time and bit by bit, totally transform our relationship with ourselves, and others.
So much of life is about focusing on what’s outside of us, how much we achieve, what a great wife, mother, sister, worker, etc, we are, it’s no wonder so many of us take our bodies for granted, they aren’t factored into the systems we are born into (like education) in terms of placing value on our body and caring for it via what it’s communicating. If anything we value how the body looks, but not necessarily the deep care and nurturing that it truly requires.
Thank you Jacqueline, there is so much wisdom from what you have shared. “I had rejected being a woman completely, I had rejected my own beauty, stillness and tenderness, and in that rejection had come the dishonouring of myself as a woman… ” I can relate to this very much growing up in an era where men were considered superior and women were lesser, relegated to roles and duties with no real consideration for their true value just for being themselves. As a child I became a tomboy idealising men and toughness not realising the damage I was doing by placing a false persona on top of the true person I was, a little girl who was wise, delicate, sensitive, sweet and grace-full. Having the chance to come back to myself to the true essence I was born as, and to now live this as a woman is a gift, and the foundation for that is in how I treat myself. Thank you for all the support you have provided in your blog by outlining your way back to you.
This is so common in society today, that we give no respect or honouring to our bodies, and then we wonder why they break down further down the line, ‘I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.’
This really changes what is important in life, often we make work, projects, family and everything more important than our own bodies! It is like we don’t think of it at all aside from mechanical care like showering, brushing teeth, eating and exercising but often these also are done with drive, push or disregard. It is revelatory to see our bodies as important and as something we have to not just take care of but also nurture and love! It is the way forward for us all.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” We have to wake up to the fact that we need to take responsibility for our own health.
You write: “I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis” – this is such a liberating and empowering statement that applies to all of us, not only for our ills but our wells too in that we are responsible for our lives.
I love the authority in which Jacqueline states ‘I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.’ When we claim that which is true and that which is not we begin the processing of healing. If we truly want to heal illness and disease in our body we have to learn to be honest every step of the way.
Reading this tonight is very deeply healing, for the article provides a space that no matter where you are at with how you care and nurture your own body, there is always more attention that can be given to the movements we make as we nurture. We can constantly embrace more that we are made in the same light as God and so move what we come to know God’s light to be, this for me becomes more tangible, real and more prescious each day. So each day I am offered a new platform from which to nurture myself, if I am willing to be aware of it.
How true this is – the more that we take care of and deeply nurture our bodies, the more aware, clear and energised we feel. It’s like that deep level of self-care opens us up to receive more love, more awareness and more knowing – the wisdom of ‘just knowing’ something through what we can feel is true.
It is not always so easy to be honest about the impact of daily choices. I find my body can speak very clearly about what is happening to it, but these messages are easy to override with other agendas running the day. Letting go of these alterer motives can be challenging, especially when this all you know, but I get the sense that it is worth it, because there is a great beauty waiting for each woman who ventures to discover what lies beyond all the doing and achieving and comes to rest in her body of exquisite stillness.
Yes, it is so important to offer the practicality of where and how we start to redress the balance that has become so ‘normal’ for us and yet has the potential to be abusing and harming without conscious thought. The willingness and dedication to bring a new level of self care is part 1!
I look at your picture now and see a stunning, embodied woman, with no apology. I realise it is not what often comes across in pictures and therefore what is captured in your picture has stayed with me. Thank you.
Lucy this is a great point – so many of us forget to stand with ‘no apology’ and instead stand in celebration of who we are…this is something I know I can remind myself of time and time again, despite knowing that there is no need for any apology of anykind and only celebrations to enjoy!
Thanks Jacqueline.. I always find it so inspiring to keep coming back to and reading your blog because I keep not listening to and overriding my body, and your blog reminds me that there are consequences of consistently making that choice to not listen. Sometimes I wonder why it feels as though my body has nothing to communicate to me, but having read this today I can see that I’m not caring, nurturing, listening to myself nearly as much as I could do, or that my body is patiently asking me to.
” I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis. ”
Wow this is a powerful statement and how true it is, illness comes from our ill choices.
“I took my body for granted” When we disregard our body, our body has a way of making us wake up and pay attention.
Such a powerful article Jacqueline on your journey with breast cancer and the deep awareness and healing that you went through. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here as you have much to offer other women who may be dealing with cancer or a medical condition of some sort, that there is a different way to approach illness or disease that can allow the body to truly heal.
So much you have shared here and one thing that I really felt was – ‘It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.’ – When we get to a point of returning to what we have deeply known our whole lives but just followed suit with what was around us, then our bodies naturally start to vibrate at a higher level. Honouring and rejoicing how very precious and special we are is one I keep deepening and working with and it feels amazing.
It feels deeply arrogant that we are often willing to get any physical ill in our body healed but when it comes to healing the deeper emotional issues which our body equally helps us heal we tend to resist if not utterly reject with our disregard and self abuse
Your willingness to look at how you were living prior to getting your breast cancer diagnosis and to make on-going self-loving choices to support yourself to change the patterns that were so deeply engrained is inspirational and a level of responsibility that we all need to become attuned to if we are to turn around the ever increasing illness and disease statistics around the world.
‘I learned that my life and my health were a reflection of all my past choices.’ when we start to look at our lives in this way it is very empowering and it brings in our own responsibility to care for and love ourselves and not take our body for granted any longer.
The crazy thing is that society champions ‘doing for others’ giving out awards and holding glamorous events. We are so hooked in to seeking recognition from others because of the lack of love for the self. Refining and refining calling out any recognition I seek from others especially from men at the moment is a constant commitment. All the love I could ever wish for and more is all there inside me and all I have to do is accept and embrace it.
I have wondered why breast cancer affects so many women at a young age. There is a type of insurance that pays women if they get diagnosed with cancer, heart, stroke or a host of less common ailments. For women, 80% of all payouts are for cancer and much of those for breast cancer.
What I have discovered is the more deeply I care for my body the more rich and beautiful my life becomes. When I stop, life becomes difficult and challenges can seem insurmountable. There’s definitely a magic in caring for what we have and cherishing it.
And there is a simplicity too, we feel what is supportive or not and can let things go is say ‘no’ without any obligation or duty getting in the way. Simply feel from the body and choose.
Wow when I see that beautiful photo of you Jacqueline I think “Whatever would you reject” . . . and then I realise the ridiculousness of rejecting any little part of ourselves.
“Rejecting, Abusing, Harming And Bashing Our Bodies Is ‘what we need to change’.” Yes this is so true and definitely been a learned way of being in my life, to reject my body, abuse it and bash myself from the inside out. This is not loving and definitely doesn’t help foster stillness or a steadiness within.
Spot on Raegan, and what is interesting is that we seem to be so ‘good’ at abusing ourselves but where have we learned this from? As a baby we don’t walk around abusing ourselves, so where does this come from? And so it does show that on some level we learn or adopt this behaviour which then we make a ‘normal’ even though it is not a normal at all. And so it also can be said that we can of course un-learn this behaviour and instead re-adopt the loving way of being with ourselves.
‘It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies. It is a billion, trillion, zillion times away from normal.’ – Wow I just love the power of this sentence and the truth it carries. We all have an opportunity to love our bodies. And any less shows that we are not truly accepting and appreciating.
The sad truth is that it IS normal for most people to loathe their bodies – it all depends on how you define the word normal. Normal does not mean love or who we truly are, it is our current lived experience. In the past it was normal for me to reject my body and now it is normal for me to absolutely love my body.
Reading this supports me as a woman to surrender more and reconnect to an inner knowing of how to nurture myself and how to be with life.
Rejecting our body is very harmful. I wonder if there are further elements needed for a cancer diagnosis to happen or if it even can happen with little or no overt rejection.
This is a brilliant wake up blog to read about how for the most part we do not respect our bodies.
As you say we seem to take our bodies for granted, for example I was recently talking to a young lady who shared with me that she was going to have another operation for endometriosis this time it has spread to her bowels and she would have to be off work for 6 weeks and she couldn’t bare this separation from her work as she felt this would be seen as a black mark against her and so impede her promotional prospects. She admitted she lived for her work she loves it so much. So I asked her if it was at all possible that her body was showing her that she needed to take more care of herself and what if she didn’t heed the warning and then developed something worse. And the response I received showed me she is so used to abusing her body that it has become normal and an entrenched part of her way of life.
The phenomena of normalising self-abusive behaviour is the reason why we need to get to know our bodies and have internal benchmarks of what is abuse and what is not. I would agree the worst abuse comes from ourselves, from our lack of care and regard for the impact our actions have on ourselves. Often worse than our actions is the way we feel about ourselves. We can treat ourselves more harshly, critically, abusively than we would ever consider treating another person. It is very inspiring to hear from someone who knows from their own experience how powerful it is to get honest, observant and no longer accept all this.
You are a power house, your expression is so brave and straight to the point, it makes me realise just how much I hold back when I am talking about my own illness that come up every now and then. You just are not afraid to take full responsibility but it holds zero self critique, what a refreshing look into cancer, straight from the horses mouth so to speak, in this case not a horse but one incredible lady!
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” what an amazing revelation this is such a huge statement and such fantastically healing and honest blog. Thank you so much for sharing.
A powerful declaration of the truth you have experienced for yourself through the re-connection with your body.
“Having discovered for myself the powerful medicine honesty is, I can share from my own experience with breast cancer and say without any hesitation:
I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis”.
It unfortunately seems to be normal for women to disregard and loath their bodies, I know I did, but this is in fact one of those false truths we are sold from early in life. The more we become still and feel the well of wisdom we hold, the easier it is to see the lie we have been sold.
Thank you Jacqueline, I have found this very powerful to read. I have taken myself and my body for granted for years, it was a real wake up call to read your words today. I have been someone who has put everyone else first and not considered myself in the equation to the point of exhaustion. Although this is now changing I can feel how much I still take myself and my body for granted. The deeper realisation is simply that there is more love to live, and patterns, beliefs and ideals to let go of to allow that to happen.
Well said, “Although we may not always be able to prevent breast cancer, it is possible to reduce our risk by taking responsibility for our life.” We all have this potential and it extends way beyond breast cancer – it is in every choice we make – this could change the trajectory for lifestyle illnesses that are currently crippling our health system.
There is a consequence to all our behaviors, this is the beauty of Karma, we cannot get away with anything, this deems us responsible for our every choice. I see this as a great thing, many see it as a pain in the butt.
“Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?” A great point Jacqueline – and very true in my personal experience .
Initially when reading this I went into a reaction – how could I forgive myself for rejecting such beauty, wisdom and strength that is within and my body is made up of? Then I remembered that that I wasn’t who I truly was in the first place to make such a choice. And as I continued to read it confirmed what I have been doing to accept my sensitivity and what my body is communicating. At the moment I am saying ‘thank you’ whenever I feel something (not all the time perfectly) this cuts the reaction and judgement and I feel I know the next step. To inquire about the communication. We’ll see what happens.
A monumental blog, myths of health, women, energy and what abuse is, are blown away and fresh air and light flows in…how we feel about our body makes so much difference to how we treat. Many women can relate to self bashing, looking at how it can play out concerning health is huge.
A powerful realisation and sharing of the truth that the way we live is reflected in our body. “my body taught me much… my body reflected much… my body asked me to listen… and I listened.” A priceless prescription for taking responsibility for our own well-being.
I love how you extracted this prescription Mary.
Body communicates, acknowledge that it is a communication, listen, learn, apply.
‘It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.’ Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your lived experience and wisdom.
You’ve truly surrendered to what your body was telling you and had a stop in your life by breast cancer. How you have evolved and are sharing your story is hugely to appreciate as it is the opposite of the so usual called ‘fight against cancer’.
This blog touches me each time I read it, it’s such a sterling wake up call for all of us as women to take care and heed our bodies, and it calls out the abuse we accept and live with ‘It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies.’, yet many of us do, especially women and it is not not normal yet we accept it as such. We need to seriously stop and consider why we would do this to ourselves? We would be horrified if a child did this yet we do this as adults – Jacqueline offers us her lived experience with this to show us that we do not have to do this, and we do not have to come to a disease to stop this, we can stop it now.
Yes indeed, it is not normal to feel that way about ourselves and we should not wait for our body to break down so much that it forces a stop. That makes the way back to health so much harder than it needs to be.
We freak out when we become ill however very few come to the revelation of ‘freaking out’ when their life is lacking in real connection with people and maybe you prefer to have everything self-automated because you dislike talking to people. The latter example is something I think we should freak out about more.
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your recognition of the powerful medicine of honesty and how that by rejecting and therefore abusing your body you created the conditions for breast cancer. It is inspirational that you have turned this diagnosis around by making self-loving choices and learning to listen to the constant communication of your body – so important that women around the world get to read your journey back to health and vitality with an on-going commitment to your own well-being.
Sometimes it takes the shock of an illness to see where we are and how we’ve been living. Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your story here and reading it I ask myself, how am I with my body? How much do I appreciate it? And how much do I truly honour it? I have introduced huge levels of self care in the last few few years which have changed my life immeasurably to a point where I am now less exhausted, more vital, and in better shape than I’ve been for a long time, and your blog reminds me to continue with this, to not stay static with this but to go deeper and feel and see how else I can support my body, what other movements I can introduce in how I am with me on a daily basis, which could allow me to for instance surrender more, to celebrate and appreciate the gorgeous woman I am. You remind me and all of us that there is never an end-point but it’s a constantly evolving deepening into being more loving in all we do.
Our body holds an amazing amount of knowledge and intelligence, yet we so often go against the body’s natural knowing, and when we do we are dishonouring our body and harming every cell within, and when we deeply honour and nurture ourselves we give our body space to heal the many poor choices that we have made.
We have been led to believe that placing others before ourselves is love and that self-love is selfish yet we all know that this is not true. It is incredible the ideals and beliefs I had and have fallen for because of my own investments but as I let go of that which is not true it becomes even clearer to me that the way I am with myself and the choices I make in my life no doubt affect my health and wellbeing.
Absolutely and when we live that for ourselves it gives others permission to do the same. I would like self care, tenderness and self love to be infectious!
Inspired deeply by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, Natalie Benhayon and Esoteric Women’s Health, I have for many years now become aware of so much of what you’ve shared Jacqueline – the pushing of ourselves, the putting of others before ourselves, and the plethora of abuses we have ‘successfully’ normalised as women, and societally, today.
The question is, how much louder do the wake-up calls need to be, before we, as a societal whole, start to deeply consider the abuses and lack of love – along with our ability to actually RESTORE a loving relationship with our bodies – as you have addressed here, and via your own direct experience?
It’s way beyond time… And so thank-you for sharing with such utter candid honesty, thank-you deeply.
“Rejecting, Abusing, Harming And Bashing Our Bodies Is ‘what we need to change’.” Your story Jacqueline, is deeply powerful – a part of a paradigm of healing that truly encompasses the whole, and in which responsibility is fully embraced. Thank-you.
This is an amazing blog Jacqueline, and one for all of us to read, to know and understand that how we live affects us, that our rejection of our bodies does not make any sense and it deeply hurts us, to the point to getting disease, and in fact that disease which we might fight is the gift, as you clearly show here breast cancer brought you the much needed stop to come back to care for and deeply nurture your body. I’m struck by the craziness of how we live in one of your comments .. we reject and abuse our bodies and then we try and find things to alleviate that abuse, but we avoid tackling the abuse, this makes no sense at all, and in fact considering this I can see that disease, accidents or disasters are often needed by us as a stop to abuse; not something we as a human race should be proud up but a serious stop to consider how far we are living from honouring who we are and the bodies we inhabit.
We can take on board all manner of things but when people have lived what they are speaking then it takes on a realness that can’t be denied. This from a lady that has lived through breast cancer, “I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” and “I did change how I feel about my body and I stopped taking my body for granted. The catalyst was breast cancer – it provided me the ‘big stop’ and rest period my exhausted body needed” We have created many reasons for cancer and we are spending massive amounts of money on research and cures. Yet here we have a woman letting us know we are looking in the wrong area. Why when we are so keen for a cure wouldn’t we listen? After all she has lived to tell us about it. I find our ‘research’ has only one gear and won’t listen when real people speak. If you know anyone with breast cancer or can see someone needs to make a change then give them this blog. It maybe confronting but so is cancer and so is dying. Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your story which should be the poster for breast cancer support.
I agree Ray. This blog maybe confronting for anyone experiencing breast cancer or illness and disease but it is honest and full of wisdom that can only be denied if we choose to not listen. It is an inspiring story.
Ray, you really nail it with this comment, I stand behind every word, we are looking in the wrong direction and yet everyone that I have met that has been diagnosed with breast cancer has shared the blessing and the profoundness the stop had on their lives. We need to wake up and listen to the people, not get caught in labs and genetics.
There are a number of parts to this that make up the whole picture. We have on many levels done some great research into the genetics and the way that a disease like cancer works. It seems from my limited view the one we have trouble with is the cause, where it comes from and how it starts and why some cancers return, others turn into other forms of cancer and some don’t return at all. This part is offered in this blog and Universal Medicine provides the support on how to “nail it”. These are real people that have a strong sense of where the cancer came from. Not only have they studied in a real life situation but walked every step to, in and from it. Who’s better in this situation to talk and be an expert on something than someone who has actually lived it with their eyes wide open. This is not about the norm or seeking the best for the greater but using (with respect) these living experts to map out an approach that takes individual care while at the same time is for everyone.
Re reading your blog this morning felt appropriate given that this month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I can very much relate to almost every word you have written and can say it mirrors my very own experience leading up to getting breast cancer. I now work a lot with women going through breast cancer and can say that this is the same experience for many if not all of these women. Prevention is definitely better than a cure and the first step is honesty of how we have been living and the choices we have been making.
Required reading for all women! I very much appreciate your wisdom shared here and feel it reinforces the need for a renewed valuing of our bodies and their importance, after all how do we live here on this earth without it? When we consider how much abuse we give our bodies it is surprising how amazingly resilient and forgiving they are! With thanks Jacqueline for your sharing your journey.
Such a brilliant blog, I am also learning to examine my choices, bring self love into my everyday, and really listen to and feel the wisdom of my body. It’s very hard at times to see the self neglect and disregard I have lived in, but as I extract myself out of those patterns I can feel the absolute blessing that self care and self love is bringing into my life, and this is for every aspect of my health and wellbeing.
Thankyou Jacqueline for all you have shared here, including “Too late for prevention, nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing, healing and learning that was on offer, to accept what I had created, to accept that change was inevitable, to accept support and to continue to develop this new way of self-nurturing and honest living with myself.” I can relate to this and find it very helpful, the process of accepting where we now are with our health, and allowing the surrender to all the body needs to share with us for true healing and recovery to occur.
We do push our bodies to extremes, I know I used to take pride in doing this. I used to want to seem invincible, that what i could ‘do’ was everything. I know am steadily rehabilitating this, I am starting to allow my body to be heard. Its voice is loud and clear, i had chosen to ignore it or so long, but not anymore.
We don’t often equate pushing and driving our bodies and needing sugar or caffeine to get through the day as abuse. In fact it has become so common that we don’t even blink en eye lid at it and would probably say..”well that’s life”. There is the obvious abuse that is well acknowledged but really in the scheme of it what we acknowledge is often then most extreme forms of abuse. Its hard to sit and feel what I have allowed and continue to allow in my life that my body very clearly says to me – That’s abuse. But as you say Jacqueline prevention is much better that cure. So why not call it our for what it is and change it? I’m sure my body will say thank you.
We do take our bodies for granted, thinking they are exchangeable, which they are if we consider re-incarnation, nevertheless the truth is that we have to live with the consequences of what we have done to our bodies and it is shocking to see how much people are willing to put up with resistant to changing anything, they literally are fine if their body is rotting whilst they are still alive as long as they can do, eat and drink as they please.
It’s is quite a revelation to discover the ways we try and reject our own bodies. Our own unique vehicle that we have with us every split micro-second of our entire lives. To consider all it does with us and for us and it’s amazing precession in its formation, to even contemplate we harm it in any way is really mind boggling. To take a few moments a day to check in and see how our loving, constant partner for life is doesn’t seem an unreasonable choice, to go further and consider ourselves with honesty, and care seems absolutely reasonable. Once these feel as natural as it is it’s quite a simple choice to feeling the deep honouring and cherishing we truly deserve. The trick for me has been not ‘waiting’ for something outside of me or an illness to instigate my own initiating of loving the body I am.
“I completely rejected my body, detested my body and was ashamed of my body. Thus I gave no thought, consideration or respect to my body in all that I did.” I did the same. I allowed physical, emotional and mental abuse in by others. I allowed it to be around me and absorbed it so much I rejected nearly everything about me too just like they were. My mind then became its own mechanism to self-abuse, and then express this outwardly. Its so the opposite to the tender man I am. It was so detrimental to my health from holding back all I felt that I now have a chronic lower back issue that is taking many years to heal.
I can tell you it is miraculous just how far and vast my lack of self-worth was to where I am at now due to first receiving the esoteric modalities and feeling more space in my body to then honestly claim for myself what is true for me and not – the greatest gift you can give yourself .. but even then, it is to continually appreciate how I feel about myself and life in each and every moment, and just how much more there is to know and appreciate about myself the more I accept my strengths and weaknesses. “So many choices become available when we come back to living from our bodies.”
“It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.”
A wonderful sharing of your evolving awareness that is truly supportive to read and appreciate. The truth that how we are with our bodies and care, nurture and appreciate them as the beings we are complete with our own divine qualities is exactly what the world requires from us and we are enough as we are when we live from this truth. Any thing else in the striving, pushing, trying creating is exhausting and takes us away from our essence. Hence the bodies need to adjust and bless us with a stop so we have the choice to re-connect to our authentic self. With forever deepening appreciation to Serge Benhayon and Esoteric Modalities with their constant support to this inner knowing returning.
Some people might interpret taking responsibility as blaming yourself, to me it is very clear that there is zero blame taking place. The power in your blog speaks to everyone that has suffered an illness or even a painful injury, it say to us, don’t be afraid to look deeper, don’t defect that its circumstance or genetics, don’t go into fight the cancer mode or find the cure crusade, just get honest, get medical treatment and true emotional support, just accept and read the message that is on offer by your body, in this message is the key to true healing and recovery.
Thank you Jacqueline, a very powerful and important blog for all women. Nothing we think, feel or do is done in isolation to the body, hence everything has an effect. In that sense we are either contributing to breast cancer daily, or preventing it… by our every choice in every moment.
So I came back to this blog again today, and it’s wisdom, and I realised we’ve really got the cart before the horse – we have all these coping mechanisms like sugar, or ‘insert your relief of choice’, yet we do not look at what the cause is, the abuse we pile on our bodies and for me the bell rang loud and clear when Jacqueline noted that putting others before ourselves is an abuse and I can feel and see how I’m doing that right now, and change is needed, so a great wake up call to address this and come back to greater care and with that greater care I care for all others.
Your blog reminds me of what we take for granted Jacqueline, our bodies and how we hold it to account without any support for what it truly needs. We sabotage our bodies and yet get annoyed when they do not perform and yet our true measure, the one thing that will show us what is true is our bodies. There is huge wisdom in our bodies ready and waiting to support us in a more honouring and loving way of life and often times we need a major stop to see it, but it doesn’t have to be this way. There is much we can learn and thank you for sharing your experience and reminding us all that we have a choice in how we live and how we treat our bodies, and if we do get ill we can use it as a way to stop and feel how we are, how we live and what truly supports us.
‘I learned that my life and my health were a reflection of all my past choices. With embracing this simple, yet powerful truth, there was no space for feeling a victim of life, there was no space to blame anyone, thus another space opened up for me, the space to surrender…’ I have noticed that blaming and identifying with the victim are extremely commonplace and in a way they are even encouraged in our society. WE live in a time when taking responsibility for our actions is not very fashionable unless of course those actions make us in to a celebrity of some kind. I have found ,like you Jacqueline ,that in dropping the victim and blame game so much has opened up and the ability to surrender is so much more accessible.
Self-Care knows no bounds which has many benefits to how we feel about ourselves and the care we deserve to show ourselves.
‘Too late for prevention, nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing’. I feel this is relevant for all women. It is too late for us to prevent all the ills and atrocities that have occurred to and on our planet, we are where we are and there is nothing left to do but surrender to the clearing that is naturally occurring within us and all around us all of the time. When women start to honour how it is to live from a body that is surrendered the world will look and feel entirely different.
Imagine going to the doctor and they prescribing for us the powerful medicine of honesty! Now that would be worth going to the doctor for? For doctors to be able to prescribe such a medicine they would need to be living in that way themselves.
“…my body asked me to listen… and I listened”. This simple choice makes the difference: The cure becomes healing through understanding and rectification.
‘In this momentum of daily abuse I was living in ignorance, ignorant to the fact that like any vehicle, the body has to have maintenance too – check-ups, stop moments, rest periods, proper nourishment, sleep (quality sleep being the real fuel for the body). As it was I attended to none of this, therefore I was always running with my battery empty… exhausted.’
I wanted to highlight this paragraph because although it may play out in different ways and to varying levels or extremes or subtleties depending on our lives, it is still relevant. When we refuse to make moments and create space we can run ourselves ragged. My problem is that I still feel I am running the ignorance of trying to get away with as much disregard as possible…..I know that makes no sense, cause why would you want to ‘get away with’ disregard but its like I am so attached to the way I think I need to operate to fit everything in, because of this, I think short cuts are the answer.
What I love about this blog is that it snaps me out of trying to ‘get away’ with things mode and into the reality of what this behaviour may actually cause.
Words spoken with much wisdom and honesty. There is a responsibility to bodies that responds deeper than the physical. It is sensitive to the slightest of feelings and attitudes. This energetic impulse is the building blocks that our well-being is built on. It is either healing or harming.
After a crisis is over it is so easy to return to ones ‘normal’ way of living. Yet that is how we manifested an illness in the first place. Honestly assessing where we are at and making the relevant changes is key.
One drop of honesty and the willingness to opening up to truth and a little while later our bodies, our health and our well being emanate the true benefits. It makes sense that the medicine we take is not just to cure something but to also prevent it through our very way of living
The attitude that we as women have towards our own bodies is definitely worth taking a look at. And perhaps it is not so important to resolve why we do it, as this will naturally come to be realised. The most important aspect of changing personal care as far as I have experienced, is in having times when I have been able to feel the quality of the self-loathing in my body. So how I can move my arms with a loathing intent and to be aware of how this makes me feel is what inspires me to change that movement and to bring more care in to everyday normal life.
Honesty is certainly the first step; being consistently honest with ourselves takes us ever deeper into our own innate knowledge and wisdom. Honesty allows us to surrender into healing our hurts, with tenderness and love.
Thank you Jacqueline for your beautiful and inspiring blog.
Thank you Jacqueline. So supportive for all woman. A stop moment for everyone to reflect on how they are living their lives – from a foundation of love- selflove, self nurturing or abuse- pushing yourself, putting others first, self loathing etc. The choice is ours. Prevention is the best cure.
To embrace our bodies with tenderness, preciousness and vulnerability and see it as powerful would have to be a life changing step forward in our lives.
Accepting that I created my illness and disease, accepting that I am not my creation and surrendering to the process of clearing so as to make way for choices that are from the true me. Healing so simply broken down, Thank you Jacqueline.
“I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.” So true Jacqueline – daily behaviours can become automatic – no awareness of the quality in which we do anything. Our choices are so important. They make a real difference to prevention of disease.
Thank you Jacqueline for reminding us that our diseases are not bad luck but the result of our choices and a true blessing the body is sending us. I know now that taking care of myself is not selfish or inconsiderate it is the simple wisdom of the body.
It seems that we live in a world that when something happens, like illness or disease, it is more normal than not that people either attempt to blame another for it, or take it as just a bad turn of luck… so it is truly remarkable to read the responsibility you are taking for the part you played in your cancer. The awareness you chose to see and commitment you had to replace your self rejection and pattern of abuse with self love, appreciation and nourishing of your body and the woman you are is truly incredible and deeply inspiring to read.
Jacqueline your words “Before breast cancer I made choices that harmed and abused my body, now I am making loving choices that truly allow access to the wisdom and intelligence my body holds and at the same time supports the prevention of future illness and disease.” We all have a responsibility to ourselves to make self-loving choices, to know when the body needs rest, the kind of food it requires for nurturing itself, and to lovingly look after ourselves before we look after others.
Jacqueline a great blog, the more awareness we can bring to breast cancer, and illness in general, the bigger the chances are that other people will become aware of how important it is to know our own body, and to build a connection with it.
Yes Sally – honest stories like this are extremely valuable and offers a deeper awareness much needed for mankind.
“I had rejected being a woman completely, I had rejected my own beauty, stillness and tenderness, and in that rejection had come the dishonouring of myself as a woman… No-one to blame; I dishonoured myself.” This brings up a lot for me as I am just on the brink of starting to understand how much I have rejected being a women. And this is the first time I am seeing it in the sense of me dishonouring myself, but it is so true! Thank you for this profound insight Jacqueline.
“Taking Care Of All Others Before Ourselves Is ‘what we need to change’.” Absolutely!! Learning how to be loving to ourselves and knowing that it is only from growing that self-love that one can really be of service to humanity. These are things that need to taught in school, as they are fundamental to having a harmonious society.
And as women, we need to learn to let go of the niceness, the politeness and the need to being ’liked’. This is what our girls believe they need to live up to. This ‘inheritance’ serves no one.
Totally agree Eva….. as women we do need to learn to let go of the politeness and the need to being ‘liked’ because this taints all our interactions as we ‘pander’ to others, and in this pandering one cannot take space for themselves. Just this week, I gained the awareness of this life long habit of mine and how much I have pandered to others, and is a way to hold myself back by not expressing my truth….. but no more, no more pandering, no more niceness and squashing my expression.
“I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.” This is such a powerful quote and rings very true to me. I too have been relatively healthy on the outside, but the without a tender connection to myself I can absolutely abuse myself by going about my day with little consideration to how my body is feeling. Now I have started up a better relationship with my body, I listen to to what it needs so that it doesn’t have to get to the point where it has to scream at me to get my attention.
Thank you so much for all your honesty Jacqueline that makes you blog so powerful and also so inspirational. I love this sentence: “The body knows how to make you stop, it also knows what support it needs to recover and truly heal.” That says it all to me – it shows how powerful our body is and that it is not our head or our thoughts that will heal us in the end.
“I had rejected being a woman completely, I had rejected my own beauty, stillness and tenderness, and in that rejection had come the dishonouring of myself as a woman… No-one to blame; I dishonoured myself”. Most of us women can relate to what is being said here, I know I certainly can. We live in a society where being superwoman/super-mum is championed living independent lives at the expense of our bodies… we end up exhausted! I have come to realise that honouring myself in all my beauty, stillness and love that I am is the way for me to live my life and this not only supports me but all others too.
Yes Caroline, it only takes one woman to deeply honour herself, which provides a powerful reflection for all other women – which provides another choice, another way for women to be with themselves – this in itself is deeply supporting!
Wow! What a powerful blog Jacqueline. The truth here exposed that we create our own illness and disease through the choices we make in every moment may seem daunting at first but when we sit with it and allow our selves to deeply feel what is being offered here, it is gold, as it is only when we are totally honest with our selves can a true healing occur in our body.
Radiant, that’s what you are Jacqueline McFadden. I love the line… “when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis”… if this is true then sadly, most of the world is abusing themselves, it’s no wonder illness and disease is sky-rocketing, especially cases of breast cancer (not to mention prostate cancer in men, which appears to be the one thing they seem reluctant to talk about). Blogs such as yours bring to the awareness of women what the true meaning of responsibility is, and that by committing to making self-loving choices and truly caring and nurturing ourselves may be the answer to breast cancer. You are certainly an example of this and I for one, will certainly not take my body for granted again, thank you for your amazing sharing. Knowing that there is another way to live as women which may one day eradicate breast cancer altogether is so empowering and inspiring all rolled into one!
Thank you for sharing Jacqueline .. ‘Coming to this awareness brought a new level of honesty, slowly I was able to claim back that which I walked away from; my own divinity and grace. We take a huge step in our evolution when we stop rejecting self; when we stop rejecting our body and the love that we were born with and all are.’
Such a powerful sharing which would be great for all women to ponder on. Today it is for me to ponder. Am I listening to my body? What choices am I making? Are they the most loving choices I can make for me? Thank you, Jacqueline.
Yes, Ann the same questions arise for me also. I am also aware that as I develop and become more connected to myself the choices I made a while ago that were loving are now no longer so. As I deepen so does the care need to deepen with it.
Sharings like this one are indeed powerful – they offer an important stop moment for us to truly reflect on our own lives and our own choices.
Jacqueline, this is so very true, ‘when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.’ I can relate to this in many ways, for instance taking my partner for granted because he is always there and not appreciating what a tender, caring man he truly is and the also taking my body for granted; pushing it to the extreme in the past with sports and carry heavy things and drinking and smoking – I had so little respect and love for my body and completely took it for granted.
This is very true Rebecca, which brings it back to the value of appreciation and more appreciation.
It becomes a blessing when we receive the realisation, how we have been abusing our bodies, for with the realisation comes the grace to make change…..from abuse to appreciation as Lorrainewellman highlights.
“It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies.”
Very true … unfortunately men and women have been rejecting and loathing their bodies for millenia … it’s a deeply ingrained way of treating ourselves. However when we ponder on this statement and allow it in, wow, what an expansion and melting of previous beliefs … this statement of truth is very powerful.
” … the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.”
There are so many in the world whose ‘normal’ is self-abusive but they would be astounded to consider it so. That is, until a reflection of grace walks past them and inspiration provides the opportunity to ‘take stock’ and suddenly realise the body has been taken for granted and thus been ‘thrashed’. This new awareness allows a truer way of being to start flowering … and all from someone more connected to their body and soul walking past.
I love this blog Jacqueline and what I love about it is that it presents that to prevent breast cancer it is not so much about what we do, as in following that diet, exercising more, checking our breasts for lumps etc, but about how we are with ourselves. In other words how loving are we with ourselves. When I realised this I could feel there is still a part in me that does not believe it is that simple and that, yes it is really about being more loving and even more loving with myself every day. And with that come the nourishing foods, supporting exercise and lovingly checking our breasts for lumps but it is never the focus as that is in how we are with ourselves. So beautiful to feel.
How Loving Are We With Ourselves? In our busy 24/7 lives where we push and drive or bodies to do more, this question is very rarely asked if ever…..Such a simple question, yet one that can expose so much if only we ‘stop’ and take the time to ask and perhaps that is why we do not ask the question because it involves taking responsibility and then feeling how our loveless choices has harmed our body! Can be unpleasant even painful to feel – but truly worth it to feel truly alive, healthy and vital once again. Thank you Lieke.
“It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.” This statement goes such a long way to eradicate the idea in society that self-care is selfish, that others needs come before ours. Such a powerful and critical message to share with the world – when this is understood and embraced a life is changed forever, as are the lives of those around us.
I have not read such a comprehensive article on women’s health before – your blog gently takes the reader through many incredible understandings which totally supports the point you make that our bodies when we listen and honour them, provides incredible wisdom. The wisdom, healing and opportunity for change which you have presented to the world is incredible. Thank you.
I agree ginadunlop – it is a remarkable article and one that turns ingrained beliefsystems on health and wellbeing completely upside down. The absolute honesty and absence of being a victim of our own hurts or illnesses is what makes it so powerful and easy to relate to.
“Taking Care Of All Others Before Ourselves Is ‘what we need to change’.” This is so true I had to break this momentum as I grew up in a culture which was all about others, putting others first. When I started to change and take care of myself, people would say you are selfish putting your self first, I ignored what they said and continued to work on me, a few years went bye and my health improved as did my energy levels. I was then able to inspire others and share why it was important for me to put my self first before others. Now with my energy levels great and good health I am able to help and serve others. What I learnt the key thing is putting self first is not selfish, but being responsible, you are no good to others if you are yourself are not in good health
Putting yourself first and taking care of your own needs is not selfish but indeed very responsible, and then when you do give to others it comes with a quality that knows exactly what is needed in any given situation – thus, we stop the old ingrained habit of giving or helping others in order to be liked or accepted – which is giving our power away.
I appreciate your honesty and openness here Jacqueline. You have shared so much wisdom through your story – the power of honesty, self-love and surrender are a few stand outs for me. Also, the way you have shared your story is powerful in itself. There is no drama or need for sympathy or even playing out being a victim. There is just you taking responsibility and sharing the lessons you learnt from the experience.
Jacqueline – as you say here ‘It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.’ – this really is the bottom line.
If we give our power away to others first, then we are not being responsible with our own bodies. In that not being responsible, we can get sick – and in that sickness we effect everyone around us because we are all part of the all. There is no me and them – but there is everyone together living in a responsible and loving way that allows our bodies to be vehicles of expression first.
“It is self-love that stops the ingrained pattern of abusing our bodies, with self-love slowly replacing self-rejection” … Self love and self care are indeed preventative medicine measures for health and wellbeing. No pharmaceutical company could ever bottle ‘self-love’ up as a medicinal tincture, as no tincture off the shelf is as powerful as living lovingly with ourselves.
Conventional medicine has it’s place yes, and to be appreciated, but there is no medicine like a good dose of love, nurturing, caring and respect for ourselves and realising that we have the power as women, to change the world, but first we have to come back to our true nature and claiming that through accepting and appreciating what we bring is one big first step 🙂
This is such a powerful blog Jacqueline – should be in all women’s magazines. ” …..changing how we feel about our bodies and embracing, acknowledging and appreciating how very precious and tender yet powerful they truly are. Honesty is the first step.” So say I.
Yes this story along with others on this site should be in all women’s magazine’s. These real life stories are full of Gold that needs to be shared.
‘I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.’ – A lesson that we are all learning Jacqueline.
Yes Jenny, we have strayed so far from ourselves when we accept self-abuse as ‘normal’, it is great we are having conversations like these as it confirms how this needs to truly change in our lives.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis”. This statement needs to be plastered on billboards all across the country. We do not take enough responsibility for our illness. We like to blame the microwave or the electricity lines or the fluoride in the water. We can come up with a myriad of reasons but always missing the truth which is that we create all illness and disease from our daily choices.
Well said Mary-Louise. At any opportunity we like to blame our illnesses, injuries and mishaps on other people or other things. All of this is to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions and choices, and until we do start looking at lifestyle rather than something to pin as the ’cause of cancer’ (such as genetics) nothing will change. Billions, possibly even trillions of dollars has been put into cancer research yet they still haven’t found the cause, therefore still have not found their ‘solution’, but that is because they spend so much time and effort jumping around anything but responsibility and lifestyle.
From avoiding responsibility (as I did most of my life, so the ‘blaming mode’ was adopted and automatic, oh and taking everything personally) to taking responsibility is the game changer in whatever situation you may find yourself in; from work, relationships, family and of course your health. It is like taking a giant step forward, stepping out of the fog and darkness one has lived in, to walking in the most natural and familiar light.
This truth would make a lot of people stop in there tracks and if they really allowed themselves to fully understand the responsibility that is being asked of them in every moment then we would see a huge decline in ill-ness and dis-ease. To get this on every billboard across the globe would be such a great thing to happen, people would have the opportunity to make a different choice and nurture the body. Now that is the kinda world I want to live in.
Agree Natalie, Truth does stop people in their tracks and ill momentums, because Truth hurts… and is why we like to avoid it. But what hurts most, truth or the way in which we abuse, hurt and damage our bodies? At least when truth comes, truth opens the door to the budgie cage we have locked ourselves in… providing us with another way to live in this world. It has taken me a long time, but now I embrace and welcome truth for the support, wisdom and guidance (next steps) it contains.
Yes very well said Mary-Louise. And even the word responsibility has been bastardised. It is made into something hard, boring, not nice etc. when in truth taking responsibility is as simple as making the choice to love ourselves. Until I felt this in myself responsibility felt like that ugly word but now I feel the truth of it and that it makes me grow and flourish I am starting to love the word.
I agree Mary-Louise – this statement completely cracks the ingrained belief that things are ‘happening to us’ or that it was our genes. We need to be taught from a young age to take responsibility for our choices and the way we live and treat ourselves.
Ps your honesty is Palpable!
So refreshing – you are sharing with the world what has not been presented much before (before Universal Medicine), this needs to be known – everyone needs to know this – that we have a choice and we determine our future. It was refreshing how you cut out the ‘blame game’.
Yes this does need to be known, far and wide! Once we realise that it is our irresponsibility that is the cause of so much uncomfortableness we have the power to change…the power of choice:)
Yes absolutely, women far and wide need to know the true cause of breast cancer. Only when we take responsibility can our relationship with illness and disease change.
Yes Arianne I agree I also could feel this honesty – this was for me the reason why it was so inspired as I read her blog – yes this needs to be known by everyone. It is an invitation to change our lives . . .
Jacqueline McFadden – a very very honest account of having breast cancer. Thank you for sharing with us all the keys to prevention and the keys to loving our bodies. It was definitely an ‘Ouch’ and/or ‘Uh-oh’ in many moments, as I felt the pill of self-responsibility to swallow. But I felt I could reject all that there is on offer (not wanting to feel what I may be creating for myself), or we can finally really accept where we are at, to clock where we are at, and to begin to live our future now…rather than wait for an illness or disease. I felt it is so much more than just prevention – it is an opportunity to develop an even deeper relationship with ourselves – I love it. This is something to process – thank you!
Arianne thank you for your honest sharing. Accepting or rejecting the love we are is a choice we have in every moment of our day. I definitely agree that everything that stops us in our ill tracks is an opportunity to develop an even deeper relationship with ourselves. Oh how wise are our bodies and the heavenly intelligence they contain!
I love the rawness of what you have shared here; how – “Taking Care Of All Others Before Ourselves Is ‘what we need to change’. And that – ‘It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.’ When we stop and really look at what this is saying it is huge. How many generations after generations have lived completely focused on other people than themselves. Now it is time to change this age old pattern and to really and truly start to realise that our relationship with ourselves is the one that needs nurturing the most. That when we have this deep level of respect, love and care for ourselves we can then share this with others.
And it only takes one person in the family to break this generational chain of passing on this old pattern of taking care of everybody else, how huge and powerful is that…how powerful we all are when we nurture, nourish and love ourselves and our bodies, and then love all others equally. Everything counts and has far reaching ripple effects that currently we are unable to see, but nevertheless take place.
Absolutely Natalie, this was taught to us as to how we have to be in the world, the deceit and lies I many more fell for that then kept us locked in ‘ self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.’ And as you go on to say, ‘our relationship with ourselves is the one that needs nurturing the most. That when we have this deep level of respect, love and care for ourselves we can then share this with others.’ This is a must, starting to build a loving and caring relationship with self first.
That is a good point you raise here Natalie – it is so true that we learn through role models and as you so beautiful shared many of our generations were focused only on other people than to themselves. It is so wonderful that we start now to change this “age old pattern” through being an other role model – it is inspirational to show the world that loving and nurturing oneself first is a good starting point.
Through all the wisdom I have been presented with through the presentations/courses and teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I can feel how I am ( we all are) responsible to be role models now for others – it is very much needed.
Well said esteraltmiks and jacqmcfadden04 – we are indeed all responsible to be role models for others.
This is deeply engrained in our society through values and norms passed on by the Church. I was coaching a group yesterday where someone shared that she was raised that what was truly loving is to always take care of others. As a group we realized it implied…..and forget about yourself. This blog turns it around: it is an abusive norm. Self-care is all but abusive, it is the most self-loving thing to do. Let’s bring that out!
“It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.”- this is something that can be very insidious, and tricky to pin point in ourselves especially if we have been brought up doing for others first eg mothering role or beliefs around being a wife.
Great to ponder and feel into more deeply how we allow it in on a daily basis.
Loretta, I can feel the intense self-abuse when I have stopped to feel the depth at which I have allowed this belief of looking after others before myself to take hold, coupled with the need for recognition that comes with it makes it a double whammy.
It is particularly tricky lorettarapp- “thinking” we are doing good by looking after others – be it children, the elderly, our partners or those we consider “less fortunate” – it is imposing our ideas of them that we believe they need our help. And yes rachelmurtagh1 – the double whammy of satisfying the need for recognition. Ouch!
Wow, there’s just nothing more self-empowering than honesty.. Claiming the responsibly of the choices we have made and the undeniable fact that our bodies represent our choices is huge and on offer for all women (and men) to embrace. At first, this kind of relationship with ourselves may seem a bit scary as there is much we have chosen that has been against the true nature and knowing that we have, but the truth is that when you have the strength and the will to learn and observe all that you can you are left with a deep and growing sense of appreciation of yourself. This appreciation soon develops further and supports us to rid life of the abuse and disregard that has been, making way for the beautiful petals that we have to blossom in fullness.
Such a simple fact Cherise – “our bodies represent our choices” – but one we are not taught and one we are often not willing to see and take responsibility for. But when we do, yes! we can appreciate ourselves more deeply and allow ourselves to blossom with the love that we are.
The responsibility of our choices is huge, and that these are being reflected in our bodies. Once we accept and appreciate ourselves, this helps us in making more self loving choices and increasing our responsibility even more.
As Serge Benhayon has presented through Esoteric Medicine there is not a single part of our bodies that don’t reflect back our choices, to the tips of our toes to the top of our heads. Knowing we have this responsibility, not only for ourselves but for others as a reflection, is huge, but taking responsibility is even greater. We cannot run or hide from our bodies, or blame others as we are then no longer a victim, and yes, once we accept this then through choices to love, care and nurture ourselves and listen to our bodies we can begin to truly heal.
‘to accept what I had created’ this is the beginning of love and support. It allows us the opportunity to change and grow.
Wise words lindellparlour and indeed very true; ‘ ‘to accept what I had created’ this is the beginning of love and support’.
l agree Lindell. Also, l feel we all need to see how we have made the “behaviour of self abuse”, our normal in our life. lt could be the simplest of actions that we are not even aware is self abuse, depending on the level we allow in our life.
The ‘behavior of self abuse’ is something that I have very rarely spoken about and to be honest I don’t think there is a one unified clear definition of what true self abuse is and I don’t think I’m the lone ranger on this one. Perhaps we need more education and publicity, to get people talking about it.
Jacqueline, your story is so important. It shows us how cancer can be an absolute blessing and a gift and shows us when true healing is needed. It is an opportunity to take a fresh new look at the way we are living and to change it for the better. So many people say that having cancer has changed their life. This is what it does. It offers a reflection and we are free to choose how we respond.
All illness and disease offer us a powerful reflection, however, usually it is very painful to see so we keep the blinkers on and go into fight mode which is a great distraction. Therefore, we need support. Support is essential to help us take the blinkers off and take for the first time a real good look at ourselves and our lives…. and pretty quickly all the falseness is easily exposed and the walls of protection come tumbling down so that we may surrender and accept the new way forward.
Thank you Jacqueline for a very powerful blog, I can relate to total rejection of the body, I had no idea that putting everybody first “It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.” I had no idea until Universal Medicine, thankfully I am at last learning to accept, value and appreciate my body, and the wisdom that it brings, the more I understand this the more I can cherish it with loving care.
Thank you Jacqueline
I can feel in my body how deeply I have rejected it throughout my life, I try and do take care of myself but there are always so many layers of self-loathing and self-abuse to uncover. The part I find the most challenging is looking after myself deeply and tenderly in spite of what the women in the world around me are doing. Many women feel that they are not enough being a woman and to be themselves, they feel they have to harden up or toughen up and be able to do what the men do. It is sad to see, and on reflection while writing this, I can feel how it is even more important for me to show them another way. The world needs us to claim the beautiful femaleness and grace we naturally hold and we need to honour this in ourselves first before we can truly contribute to the world in a loving, positive way.
Thank you for your honest share Gretel. Appreciation is key, to deeply appreciate yourself/ourselves for all the loving steps we are taking, no matter how small….one loving step or action leads onto the next. And my very first step was; in putting myself first.
Woah wow loved this article absolutely amazing… I say after picking myself up of the floor after being hit for 6, with the power house of knowing and living what is truth, this needs to be read by all women across the globe.
Yes Jaime, this is to be read by all women in the world. Even girls at high school would be able to hugely benefit from all the Wisdom and experiences shared in this amazing, powerfull and very inspiring blog. As a man I would love if man would allow themselves to read and study this blog as well, as there are many, many revelations that could support men as well. Because, boy oh boy do we – as men – need to reclaim ourselves in order to prevent ourselves from the statistics 1 in 2 men aboven 55 years old that get prostate cancer.
Wow Floris, one in two men above 55 years get prostate cancer, this statistic takes your breath away and begs the question what is going on, how are men living and definitely needs much attention.
I’m ‘glad’ you’re taking the 1 in 2 above 55 years old get prostate cancer in Jacqueline. Because it makes me – as a man – stop again and hold my own breath. It is incredible. Picture 10-15 young boys, playing at school and think about it… 5-8 of these beautiful young boys will be a statistic 50 years later for prostate cancer… This is definitely something we have to talk about as men. I myself can still read it and not feeling the absurdness of it! Life’s not about being a statistic! Not for a man, not for any woman. Life’s not about being cured, yes when needed it’s great. But there’s a way of life that prevents us. Just like this blog’s showing / reflecting to us. There’s another way – a way that honours our bodies in full. Living life from there.
Thank you Jamie Foley…. this blog is travelling across the globe, as it has already been translated into Japanse, and presently being translated into Dutch, French and German.
When I looked at your photo Jacqueline I could feel your love and appreciation of your body, I could also feel a beautiful softness. A lot of women get breast cancer and then when they are “healed” they carry on as before. Your blog tells us that it’s about making different choices for true healing to begin. Thank you for sharing.
You conquered a level of unawareness and brought yourself back into your body. I have witnessed this process and I can simply bow to the grace that you now share in your moves.
This blog makes the possibility of preventing breast cancer a reality as every woman knows whether the way in which we treat ourselves is loving or not, supportive or not, respectful or not if we allow ourself that moment to stop and be honest with how we feel on the inside. The choice comes down to simply ‘stop’ or ‘ ‘be stopped’.
It is that clear cut and simple Julie; ‘the choice comes down to simply ‘stop’ or ‘be stopped’.
‘It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.’ A powerful statement that is so true and this message needs to reach as many women as possible otherwise the current alarming breast cancer statistics will just keep on going up. The beauty of this is that it hands the power back to women to turn their lives around rather than waiting for the someone to come up with a cure. The way we live is our best medicine.
I love this Jacqueline and this line really nails it for me “I am making loving choices that truly allow access to the wisdom and intelligence my body holds”. Thank you.
‘I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis’. A powerful statement indeed Jacqueline, and the same can be said for any situation we find ourselves in our lives.
This blog is absolute gold! Through the grace of her own experience and honesty Jacqueline has offered the truth behind every breast cancer diagnosis. What millions of dollars in research has not yet been able to tell women, Jacqueline has done in a simple sharing from her own wisdom and lived experience.
Amazing! – Thank you Jacqueline!
Well said, Kate. What Jacqueline has opened herself up to learning through her experience of breast cancer is priceless and will someday be re-writing the medical journals.
And may that day be sooner rather than later janetwilliams06.
Oh my! When you think about the millions that have been spent on cancer research and all that is needed is to simply look at our lived choices as a prevention to the disease it’s incredible. We have been looking for answers in the wrong place, searching under the wrong stones and going of track down the wrong road!
Thank you katemaroney1.
The qualities I feel when I attend the Sacred Women’s Movement groups and I connect with myself and totally claim myself as a woman I feel my sacred, delicate and tender self, as my body expands I feel my true power so light and joyful, with a cheeky playfulness that I feel safe to express a true sexiness that is non imposing and unconditional. My focus is to embody this feeling and live it every day by truly claiming myself as a woman.
Yes I agree, this article needs to be published and put in every doctors waiting room. Women need to read and feel the truth of what this disease truly offers and how it brings a way back to connecting to our bodies and the choices we are making. And just seeing your picture alone Jacqueline is a beautiful healing for all who read your article.
Thank you Julie Chung….and I agree all women do need to know and feel the truth of ‘understanding breast cancer’ and the clearing and healing that is on offer… the book is on its way and is my priority!
I’ve seen someone at the age of 80 still abusing their body, and say they are having fun even when the abuse was causing considerable pain. Bringing reincarnation into the equation, I wondered what residue the spirit of this person might carry from this body into their next life. Possibly Cerebral Palsy or some debilitating childhood disease? Who knows, but how sad.
What a powerful way to treat all illness and disease this statement is Jacqueline, “Too late for prevention, nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing, healing and learning that was on offer, to accept what I had created, to accept that change was inevitable, to accept support and to continue to develop this new way of self-nurturing and honest living with myself.” When we put this along side our current medical treatments of disease in the body, our body and being will receive a full dose of powerful, true, loving medicine
This article really ought to be published in Medical journals because it brings a truth about breast cancer that I, as a registered nurse and a woman feel is needed to be read by everyone.
This article sets a new standard for women with breast cancer (and all other women), and should be front page news. This approach to a disease that affects so many women is ground breaking, and testament to the work of Universal Medicine. A new way forward is here, if only we were to take it.
This article does raise the bar on our awareness of breast cancer. It sheds the disease in an entirely new light and needs to be published and put on the table in every doctor’s waiting room!
Re-reading this blog, I am floored by the power in this statement: “I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” How could we be victim to illness and disease, so-called ‘sitting ducks’ as some feel? I find it very empowering to know I play a part in what is happening to me, even if I was born with a genetic disease, having an understanding these days of how our choices in past lives continue to shape who we are in next lives.
As a woman with a family history of breast cancer who no longer feels like a sitting duck thanks to the work of Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health I can only say I agree. The freedom of knowing I contribute to my own wellbeing with my choices is staggering, and something now to be made available to all women.
Yes, Suzanne, illness and bodily symptoms are a way to show us how we have lived in the past and most of us do not like this. We like to get rid of them instead of taking them as a wise voice of our bodies who lovingly wants to tell us to be more loving, more caring, more understanding with ourselves.
This is insightful and powerful “I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.” I recognise this in my past behaviour, and I could still benefit from learning to care for myself further. I do genuinely love and care for myself now but spent years doing the opposite, now I care it is a joy and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am sharing this joy with my children and it is part of their young lives to talk about and practice self care. I support them and they support me, they are naturally very tender, graceful and delicate, in the actions, which is something to observe, support and be inspired by.
Beautiful, Samantha. I love how you are raising your children with an awareness of the importance of self care, and how that can naturally occur in daily life together.
Children can be our greatest teachers in their reflections of innocence and tenderness and playfulness, and super that your children receive your support for them to be all of themselves, so that they then can go out into the world and bring all that they are here to bring.
Thank you Jacqueline McFadden for your amazing sharing, a very important article . All women should have access to this .
Jacqueline, this blog draws a line in the sand and says… ‘Stop world, … This is whats going on for women with breast cancer..’ A fabulous read that simply can not be argued against, for your lived experience and understanding about the cause of breast cancer brings a mix of common sense, insight and observational study that surpasses any scientific research. Write a book for women on this, so that it can be a part of women’s health care services.
johannebrown17, it has always been my intention to write a book, as in fact it is already there, and is on it’s way….and is for everyone.
It is funny how we think we can love and care for others when we don’t love and care for ourselves. It is scientifically impossible. Once we start to live the love we are and love ourselves then it naturally emanates and is shared with others. When we say we love or care for others more than ourselves really what we are giving them is an emotional form of love which is harmful for both us and them.
To clarify when I say an “emotional form of love” above, it is in the recognition that true love does not contain one ounce of emotion. Therefore it is not love or care at all that we are expressing but something else. To understand this is very empowering because naturally we want to love and care for others and once we become aware that what we are calling love is not love we are liberated to actually connect to what is true love. Unimedpedia Love – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html defines some of the qualities of true love.
That is such a big one for most women Nicola. As I was growing up I watched my mother ‘selflessly’ attend to everyone’s needs before her own and I used to think this was the ‘natural’ role of being a good wife and mother. Sadly, after her children left the nest, the inevitable feelings of resentment and bitterness raised their ugly heads and my once ‘always happy on the surface’ mother became sad, angry and disillusioned. And when I got married and had children I found myself repeating my mother’s patterns until thankfully and with deep appreciation I heard the teachings of Serge Benhayon on the TRUE meaning of LOVE. My understanding became very clear that the only way to truly love and care for others is to first truly love and care for ourselves. This has been a huge turn around for me and still a work in progress but I am loving the journey.
So many gems in this blog. Today, ” the way forward in terms of preventing breast cancer and indeed all illness and disease has to be; changing how we feel about our bodies and embracing, acknowledging and appreciating how very precious and tender yet powerful they truly are.” Absolutely Jacqueline.
“No-one to blame; I dishonoured myself.” It is very powerful when we finally accept that there is no-one to blame for our choices. When truly accepted this does not become a judgement of oneself, but a surrender to the energetic fact that we are a part of God’s body and can therefore not escape its divine laws. I can feel Jacqueline’s humble acceptance in her words, and it is inspiring that she is now able to embrace her divinity.
Such a deep level of honesty is a divine quality that is held within us all – what Jacqueline has demonstrated is that we simply need to stop, look and listen to our body as it is the marker of all truths.
Jacqueline on rereading your amazing article I pause at your sentence ‘We take a huge step in our evolution when we stop rejecting self; when we stop rejecting our body and the love that we were born with and all are.’ So much wisdom in this simple sentence. We think we are doing all the right things, ‘looking the picture’ of the ideal modern woman until the wake up call comes that it was all a sham, we were not loving or respecting and honouring our true nature at all and in doing so, rejecting who we innately are. How sad and painful, even agonising, is that.
When I realised all my loveless, abusive choices had led to my breast cancer, I was able to accept what I had created, knowing that I did not know any better then and had no true role models either. It was not sad or painful once I surrendered to the learning that was on offer and then from there I could take responsibility which was a real turning point for me and a true moment of grace which opened me up to allow all the support I needed.
I loved reading your story, as it felt so real and powerful coming from someone who has learnt through their own experience. We like to act like we have no part in our illness or disease, but from yours (and many others on this site) the message is clear that we do have a part to play. It only makes sense. A car owner who is reckless and neglectful will have a car that is beaten up after a few years where the careful owner can have a car that looks and drives like new 20 years later.
I agree Fiona and even though I have heard it before I just love the comparison of how we treat our bodies so irresponsibly yet take great care of our cars. Makes no sense at all yet so true.
One AMAZING blog, written from complete authority, it cannot be argued with. Expect publishers clambering at your front door for you to write a book about your experience Jacqueline, it would change the way women globally understood breast cancer.
I agree! A book would be incredible and is so needed to balance the ideas being swilled around as reasons for breast cancer. As I was reading, I wanted to know more details about your experience – how you abused yourself, things you used to consider normal that you now consider abusive, the way you are now. It is often not until we read something like this that we start to question our norms, which may not be so good for us.
Thank you Suzanne and yes I do hold the intention that my writings will become a book, this seed was planted several years ago by a very wise woman and has not left me.
I’m not a publisher, but I would love to find a way to publish a book on this topic. World changing work that could assist so many women who are currently struggling with Breast Cancer.
Be assured Heather the book is on its way….
Honesty is powerful medicine indeed Jacqueline.
“Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?”- Jacqueline, what an awesome return to the beauty-full woman you are, after being forced to stop by having breast cancer, and take care of and listen to your body.
Being a nurse I have seen the power of this stop many times. The body makes us stop and reassess the way we are living. It is a great time to reassess our priorities and whether they really are as important as our health and wellbeing. I find the stop works well while we are too sick to fight it, but once we can get back to normal, the choice to go back to old ways is always there. It is inspiring that Jacqueline has continued to make changes that are clearly supporting her body.
I agree Fiona – how often do people see what is truly offered to them when they have an illness? Sadly most people go right back into their old patterns as soon as the medical issue is resolved, rather than see it as an opportunity for a new start with more self-aware choices.
Fiona, I made a very clear choice/decision during my treatment and that was; I was never going back to my old way of living, so there only was one way for me and that was forward – acceptance, surrendering and lots of support all pulled me forward to where I am today; alive, healthy, vital and powerful.
“We take a huge step in our evolution when we stop rejecting self; when we stop rejecting our body and the love that we were born with and all are.” This is a powerful statement Jacqueline. Thankyou for your wisdom.
Super-powerful post Jacqueline, with realness and responsibility in regards your illness of breast cancer. What struck me here were your words: “It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide” – wow, wow, wow, downfall is so true and so many of us ignore the body with an ignorant attitude and at later great cost. Attention to the body, and really getting to understand it, and what it needs to truly support it…is supporting ourselves and developing our innate wisdom. Our body is so precious for it allows us the one thing that will bring and deepen our evolving: commitment to life.
Wow, wow, wow indeed Zofia. The body is rarely appreciated in full as the vehicle we walk with in life. In even beginning to take a tiny step towards appreciating the body everything changes, how we eat, how we move, and how we see illness. A powerful new way of living is on offer should we choose it.
I had huge lack of commitment to life….and a very important point you raise Zofia. Committing to life has been a process for me and a by-product of self-care/self-nurture and self-love. Commitment to life is super healing and super powerful and is the game changer. And back to the wisdom of the body, this line is gold;
‘ Our body is so precious for it allows us the one thing that will bring and deepen our evolving: commitment to life’.
Powerful words Zofia – I agree, without commitment to life we merely exist.
Certainly prevention is better than cure. Through increased knowledge and our inner wisdom it is wonderful that we are now able to make choices that prevent the recurrence of these very serious illness’s.
A beautiful sharing Jacqueline with so much wisdom shared.
Jacqueline, I love the honesty and frankness with which this blog explores cancer and the causes of ill health generally. It is rarely considered that if we self loathe or dislike ourselves in anyway that this is a huge negative for our health. But it has to be really when we look objectively at it, because we create a tension and live in a way that is not our natural manner.
Yes, Stephen, it is hard to fathom how a doctor could not consider the way we are with ourselves and treat our bodies as a primary factor in our state of health and well-being.
I also loved the honesty of this blog Stephen, but also the courage too. Talking about how a woman may have caused her breast cancer by the was she lived is so far from the norm, which is usually laden with sympathy and in no way asks the woman, “How are you treating yourself and your body?” I agree with your comment about negative self talk Stephen. If we had someone standing next to us all day saying all the negative things we say to ourselves, we would find it very disturbing and probably get a protection order! Yet we put up with this critical voice all day, every day.
Whoa, thank you Fiona, my awareness around negative self-talk just shot up … I’ll be pulling out the big-gun-protection-orders from now on!
Self-loathing always seems to be something we can’t fix. There is this idea that it owns us, rather than it being something we are feeding every day to keep it alive. Change away from self-loathing is possible. That is the starting point.
This is a truly wonderful and inspiring blog, Jaqueline. It is wonderful how you talk about honesty as this is the key to deepening our connection with our bodies, because as you so rightly say, the body doesn’t lie. Everything we have done, every choice we have made in our lives is there for our body to tell the story of. I too abused my body, not in the same way that you have but through copious amounts of drugs and alcohol and it’s only recently since being taught by Universal Medicine that there is another way, that I have started to listen to and honour my body in a way I would never ever have even thought of before. Since doing this, I have learnt to lovingly say NO, when I feel something isn’t right, STOP when my body feels tired and be much more GENTLE with myself in my head, as well as in my movements. This has changed my life in so many ways, my relationships with family members has improved 10 fold and I am making new friends, which used to be very difficult for me, as I had huge love and trust issues. I recently handed in my notice at work, as I felt I was not being honoured and although it has taken me about 10 weeks to find another one, I am confident that the new role will bring me much joy. So thank you for sharing your experience with us, much appreciated.
The body dosen’t lie… it records everything and when we hang onto our hurts, it becomes more difficult to hear the truth that our body is always communicates with us. Thus the first step is honesty and to deal with all our hurts and when we begin to honour and respect our bodies our lives start to transform… as you mention. Thankyou for sharing Belinda.
It is so true Katie, and I think the word ‘perception’ is actually all it is, even though it is a very real thing that we certainly let ourselves think, but this belief is old, from days gone. I get the sense that women all over now appreciate the need for self-care, for nourishment and nurturing, but we hold onto this old belief and it holds us back from fully allowing ourselves this necessary level of caring for ourselves, along with our sexy, womanly, amazingness. Time to let it all go, and allow ourselves to live and be loving with ourselves.
From self-abuse and detesting yourself, to loving, appreciating and deeply nurturing yourself, WOW, what a change…all commendations to you Jaqueline for making the choices that facilitate such a huge change in way of life. Really inspiring person… tell the world.
‘I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.’ powerful indeed. A truly healing statement.
I agree Lisa. A very confronting statement at that too. We absolutely need to take this on board, and really understand what self responsibility means.
Jacqueline, I take my hat off to you for being so honest with regards to rejecting your body – that there alone is recipe for breast cancer. How many women actually would think that our thoughts we constantly run with, may contribute to the type of illness we could eventually end up with. There is much to consider here – thank you.
Julie, how true this is. How many thoughts are running daily through our heads and how many of them are rejectiive or dismissive ? Most of us are not aware of this and how harming this is for the body.
I can honestly say that before Universal Medicine, I had no idea I was rejecting my body, especially my breasts. Our way with ourselves becomes so normal to us that we can’t see it. But as I grew to listen to my body I realised there were areas in my body that I couldn’t feel so well or avoided feeling. My breasts were just there, not the lovely, delicate parts of my woman’s body I now know them to be.
I was the same Fiona, my idea of self care was to ignore my breasts with an underlying fear that I would get breast cancer, because two members of my family had been treated for it – one successfully and one not. Although I did check for lumps regularly it was more out of fear, not true self care. Since attending Universal Medicine I am definitely looking at and have more respect for my body, and the messages it can give me.
Me too Fiona – absolutely no idea at all. And to think that I thought I was doing quite well. What an illusion!
I am an Esoteric Breast Massage Practitioner and have been talking with women and massaging their breasts for over 10 years and 99 %of women I have treated have disliked their breasts and/or have had no true relationship with them. This is phenomenal given our breasts are an integral part of our body as women.
We are so used to rejecting our bodies that when we intend to feel it we cannot feel what’s there… we resist what is there to be felt but I have come to realise that this is normal for us to get to know our bodies; it is a question as to whether we choose to surrender to the resistance or not.
A very powerful sharing, Jacqueline, that I can very much relate to – “I completely rejected my body, detested my body and was ashamed of my body. Thus I gave no thought, consideration or respect to my body in all that I did.” Thank you for this wake up call, highlighting how essential it is to care for ourselves and our bodies.
Your photograph is radiant Jacqueline. In itself it is a true testimony of the healing process you have been through. It speaks as loudly as your words do and you are an inspiration!
What a powerful share….thank you Jacqueline.
I loved the part you said…..”Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are? ”
Wow…. what a revelation for everyone. For me I know that sentence is true, as I have lived it.
My back used to be a mess. But I now know, that was a big ‘stop’ for me, because of the way I was living in my body. I had no true regard for my body, I too was taking my body for granted at the time. I was giving my power away a lot and not being true to myself. I didn’t listen to what my body was trying to tell me.
Since then, I have changed those choices with respecting, honouring my body, self-love, self-care, self-nurturing and this time, loving lifestyle choices.
I now know without a doubt, I did create my back issue.
I can now feel …… I am coming home more and more to the real me.
When we own what we have created, it has a major positive impact on our lives and how we recover and move forward from any illness or body complaint. In this ownership, it becomes so much easier to listen to the body, as the body says, thankyou, thankyou for being so honest, now we have a new platform that we can communicate with each other….. Thank-you Jody for sharing so honestly.
So true Jacqmcfadden04.
This sentence “Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?” is true to me too Jody. Ending up in a wheelchair with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome I literally had to stop but boy did it change my life. I had created a life where abusing my body through neglect by placing every thing else before me had become the norm. Through the four years in the wheelchair not only was it a clearing from my body of the choices I had made up until that point, it made me stop to reflect on how I was living. Since then I have made different choices and I continue to do so as the self-loving choices I am making are changing how I am in the world.
When an illness is presented it offers us a time to reflect. We know deep inside that how we have been living up until that point has not been true to us, I know I did and I also felt there was a way out of it… I simply had to commit to the responsibility of finding the support that was true to me. When I came across Serge Benhayon I knew I had found some one who could support me. With a willingness to be open, l let go of the root cause as to why I ended up in a wheelchair and then over time, gently deepening the love, care and honouring for myself.
I take particular notice of what you share with regards disrespecting the body. I feel that we do not yet appreciate the devastating affect stress and nervous tension has on it. I have lived with it as normal for so long that slowly I was poisoning it with toxins and a pace that was incredibly self abusive. I would not have known any of this was not normal if it wasn’t for the teachings we now have through Universal Medicine. That healong is not just about dealing with symptoms but about looking below the surface and building a way of living that truly honours stillness as medicine.
Beautiful, Lucy – stillness as medicine, I love it. Universal Medicine explains in simple terms how living with such tension in the body is going to have a devastating affect. It is incredible that the majority of people still refuse to consider this basic premise and avoid taking responsibility for how they treat their bodies. It makes so much sense, and yet it is something even the medical profession are taking their time to accept.
‘Stillness is Medicine’ and it’s free and within us all. Imagine the difference it would make to millions of people if this simple yet powerful message was available to all.
You ask a very important question: “Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?”
And the answer has to be a resounding yes, because only then will we listen, most of us anyway. And until we get that wake-up call, it is easy to take our body for granted and abuse it whilst thinking that we are indestructible and can get away with whatever. Thank you for your great honesty and candour.
Exactly Gabrielle, when we have youth on our side, it seems the future is far away, and we tend to feel indestructible and can get away with abusing our bodies…. The simple fact is, all our loveless choices catch up with us at some point….and there is no getting away with anything.
So true what you are saying here jacqmcfadden04 – ‘there is no getting away with anything’. Isn’t it crazy how most of us have set ouselves up to to belive that if we pretend it is ok or or act as if it is not happening, we will get away with it.
What you shared in you honest blog Gabriele is so true. It is so much easier for us to take our body for granted and so we can abuse it. Our mind let us believe this false idea – if we all would be more connected with our bodies the mind has no chance to made us think that we are indestructible.
How amazing would our world be if, as part of our education, we were all taught this way of self discovery “I discovered the deeper I care, cherish, nourish and love my body the more my body truly supports and communicates to me the wisdom it holds, and the more I feel from my true essence; thus, it is from this space that I have made many new choices that truly honour, respect and evolve my physicality – my body.”
I am raising my daughter in this way, she is well aware that any illness, accident, situation, scenario etc is there for her learning, stemming from her choices. What an empowering way to grow up.
This feels so awesome Suzanne. My mind tried to take me into how I missed out and then also my children but I caught it in the nick of time and smiled knowing I will get another opportunity when I become a grandmother.
Wow Suzanne, what a blessing your daughter has in having you as her mother to guide her to know her own responsibility and in this, her own truth that she will then be able to share with her own family one day. Your comment/raising seeds the very basis of true parenting that truly serves our societies and communities.
This is absolute gold “We take a huge step in our evolution when we stop rejecting self; when we stop rejecting our body and the love that we were born with and all are.”
So true Tamara, I love how it points out that evolution is when we stop doing harmful things, we don’t have to do anything to evolve, we have to stop doing things. It is like its too easy for us humans who like complication.
So every disease we have would be the result of rejecting our self. This would be a game changer for humanity if such a concept could be accepted.
The rejection of self, such a slippery downward slope thereafter full of struggle, complication and a constant searching to find oneself buried under layers and layers of hurts…that can be painful to retrace, but retrace we must in order to find our way home. Indeed Suzanne, if only such a concept could be accepted….
Re-reading your blog this morning I was drawn to your question “Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?” It gave me the opportunity to stop and really appreciate how fortunate I am to be a student of Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom. Thank you Jacqueline.
Thank-you Tamara. For me too, it is a constant blessing to be a student of Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom.
I have observed people with cancer going back to the same way of living after having had the all clear – only to be diagnosed again, so it makes absolute sense to look at how we are living.
‘Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?’ – A powerful statement Jacqueline and one that would support many who were open to hearing this truth. An awesome blog that clearly shows us there are consequences of our unloving choices. Your journey has been amazing and I appreciate your level of honesty and the beautiful changes you have made that are deeply inspiring to read.
A very powerful article Jacqueline and a discussion very much needed – ‘With my constant rushing, pushing and driving my body to live up to the roles I had taken on – superwoman/super-mum, and Mrs Independent who doesn’t need support – along with my daily sugar rush which provided the boost I needed to push and drive my body even more… yes, I abused my body.’ – You have hit the nail on the head here, this is how a lot of women (if not most) live their lives.
Agreed Eva, these words of the blog are how most women live, certainly in the western world and this way is celebrated and made into the ideal. I just love how clear you, Jacqueline, have made it that by living like this you abused, yes, abused your body.
Yes absolutely Eva and Suzanne, and we need to also begin to identify what abuse actually, is as much abuse is freely accepted as a ‘normal’ way of life.
Yes Suzanne and Jenny – sadly a lot of abuse is seen as normal in our society, and some of it even championed as an ideal. It is truly time we start to identify every bit of abuse to ourselves and others and why it is that we are seemingly ok with it.
Agree Eva, so many of us women live in the way Jacqueline has described, and perhaps this is a powerful clue into why breast cancer statistics continue to climb. I feel Jacqueline has hit the nail on the head here revealing not only the link between lifestyle choices and disease, but specifically the drive in the woman and consequent lack of true self nurturing and care, and the connection this way of living has with breast cancer. I can’t help but wonder what would come if we were to invest research dollars to look into this? Could perhaps we discover the link to be true?
Hi Anna, the link between lifestyle choices and disease, but specifically the drive in women and consequent lack of true self nurturing and care, and the connection this way of living has with breast cancer is absolutely true and already proven by the thousands of women who have breast cancer and the one thing they have in common is the latter statement. It is just that most of humanity are not ready to take responsibility for their illness and thus continue to blame out side forces.
That is so true Eva and I can only admit that I was a woman like this as well. Abusing my body was so ingrained that it took a while to stop this old behavior and there is still work in progress. It is so incredible normal for women to abuse herself because there are hardly no other role models to look at. Therefore I love it very much if more and more women are there to show us that there is an other way to live.
“….nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing, healing and learning that was on offer, to accept what I had created, to accept that change was inevitable, to accept support and to continue to develop this new way of self-nurturing and honest living with myself.” These words are gold Jacqueline. So many people ‘want to get back to normal’ after a diagnosis and treatment. Yet our life-style choices and way of living have factored to produce the disease. It makes so much sense to make new choices – and what a beautiful gift to reassess one’s life. Not the ‘normal’ way of viewing illness!
Those words are indeed gold and they apply to life, I can feel how we want things to be a certain way and when we see how things turn out we can fight life rather than accept the choices we’ve made and ‘surrender’ and feel a new way to deep nurture in how we move forward. Beautiful to feel and read, thank you Jacqueline.
monicag2 the word ‘surrender’ is a key to true healing, it’s vital to stop when we meet these X moments or stops, but the next part is to surrender to the bodies communications… as to why we have come to an X in the first place. Great wisdom can then be revealed once we surrender and accept the stop.
That additional depth you speak of Merrilee is definitely worth digging into, to understand our journeys to those stop, or X moments we reach and to build a relationship with our bodies where listening and working with what we hear is our first choice, not one we need to look at due to an X.
So many people ‘want to get back to normal’ after treatment because they are not willing to take responsibility for what they created, so they focus on the ‘fight’, ie fighting the cancer that Monicag2 mentions which is a great distraction from Truth. I was that person too, but I was blessed to meet Serge Benhayon and received much support that I could take ownership… and when I did, what became crystal clear for me was this: there was no way I was going back to live my old ways, (that created the cancer in the first place) so the only way was to change how I was living during my treatment and year out, that would greatly support me after treatment ended – and it did.
This might sound like a terrible analogy, but bear with me…when I think of the ‘fights’ we get into in life, the fight against cancer being a classic one, I have the feeling of a dog on a leash fighting, tussling and pulling against the inevitability of just settling down and going with the flow of the walk. It is exhausting and ultimately all the dog is fighting nothing other than itself. And then one day it settles down, recognises there was never any fight and discovers the joy of just walking.
I am not suggesting that we are dog’s on leashes or obedient to being told what to do by any other person, rather the analogy serves if we understand the guiding hand and the leash are the enormous and unseen energies that flowing with life and are ever in line with evolution.
What, then, if fighting cancer is our way of fighting the evolutionary flow?
This blog offers a very different way of perceiving cancer. We can no longer claim to be victims of a random event.
Challenging indeed, yet there is no blame.
We live in a world that partakes of the fight more readily than of the honesty of how we got to a particular point in the first place. It is honesty that will help us to stop the fighting. In that stop moment we allow ourselves to see that there is something vast behind the event beckoning us to go deeper into who we are and why behind it all.
Yeah, we are certainly taught to ‘get back on the horse’ and treat any bump in the road as something that happened and is now over. It’s one thing to accept and move on, but have we truly accepted and understood the cause before we move on? Because if we did, we’d certainly would not want things to ‘get back to normal.’
Poignant dentistryinharmony – “What, then, if fighting cancer is our way of fighting the evolutionary flow? This blog offers a very different way of perceiving cancer. We can no longer claim to be victims of a random event” – agree with you, and realising this non-randomness aside from perhaps being a generator of great sadness, is equally generator to our greatest joy too.
Is what we are really fighting quite simply change?We get settled into a life that is easy, doesn’t question or demand much beyond what we have become accustomed to. And then when confronted by change cannot see the expansive freedom and opportunity to have beauty and joy in our lives. Jacquelines article is an inspiration – don’t wait for change to be forced on us, lets embrace it now.
We do associate cancer with the word ‘fight’ and the attitude of, is it going to take me out or am I going to survive. We see the cancer separate to us, as a foreign matter in our body (which it is) but we fail to recognise that we played a big part in putting it there, no ownership like you said Jacqueline. Hence the reason why people want to go back to their old ways, because it was ‘safe’ – cancer free, but was it really cancer free?
I agree Jacqueline chemotherapy, as awful as it is with its many side effects, affords a woman a big stop moment to re-connect with themselves and consider how they have been living their life that they have to have created a disease such as breast cancer and what needs to change to truly heal.
jacqmcfaddeno4 it’s great to hear the support you received, how vital to be held with such love at that time. The teaching everything is energy and everything is because of energy is a key we now have to support a responsibility in and with our livingness as a women, no fighting or battling the disease, just lost of nurturing and self love.
There is a sort of championing when someone returns to the exact same way of living as they were before illness or cancer. It’s like it is something to be proud of. By having an understanding that it is the way we live that is the cause of illness and disease, how could we want to go back to a way that gave us the illness?
Is it possible its the arrogance of the mind? It’s an illusion to think we have beaten cancer. Physically the survivor has but what about mentally? They are forever thinking will the cancer come back, hence they are still at war with it in their body. Jacqueline has presented a different way. She has taken responsibility for her cancer and accepted what she has created. Through self care and love she has discovered that she does not want to return to her life pre cancer as the way she is living now is less abusive to her body. She has stillness not war living within her.
I absolutely agree Sue, that these words are gold. Surrendering to our body is key and what I am finding is that it’s not just when we have an illness or disease to contend with but in each moment in our day.
STOP THE BUS! This article is a show stopper! Direct, factual, relatable and true. Every cell in my body is bouncing off the walls at this powerful declaration of a woman who self cares, nurtures and loves herself. And the price we pay for choosing otherwise. Thank you Jacqueline McFadden for sharing yourself, your experiences and your healing – as we are all a part of that healing process too.
And your comment is a show stopper Marcia – very powerfully expressed! Love it.
Woop! Love this reply as well as Jacqueline’s blog, so powerful, both.
The photo says it all. What a beautiful true woman.
Thank you Marcia, and yes there is always a price to pay….
I feel its time to share yourself and your story on a global scale, so many more women could benefit from hearing you speak.
I agree with Marcia, your story Jacqueline needs to go global. You have lived and embodied your experiences and from this you can only express the truth. It’s not a recognition survival story, it’s a success story that allowed you to stop and reconnect to your body that has enabled you to take this self care beyond your moment of cancer and into your every day life.
Yes the big, big difference in Jacqueline sharing her experience is that she is not championing being a ‘cancer survivor’ and playing victim to this disease but rather is now an empowered woman with a lived experience and authority in why this disease is happening and increasing in the world which is definitely something for every woman to hear or read about.
Absolutely! So often people are described as having ‘won the fight with cancer’ so to read this honest expose of the real cause and cure is a show stopper, relatable to us all. My cells are jumping too!
Go Marcia, Jacqueline demonstrates the natural and exquisite traits of a women who knows herself without any reservations. Breast cancer is at alarming rates and shows how far away women in general are living from their exquisitness. We need more blogs like this and women to show other women how they can take care of themselves and not feel it’s selfish or indulgent but rather part of looking after yourself.
Same same Marcia love the directness, of this is how it is, blows me away and held which such conviction no wavering what so ever.
Your photo says it all Jacqueline…there is no doubting your truly loving, nurturing way and gorgeous powerful light shining forth 🙂 Absolutely stunning!
Yes indeed Paula – Jacqueline looks and feels absolutely stunning!
What often strikes me is that everything in this world is set up to fight breast cancer rather than surrender to it. There has been and still is billions and billions of pounds spent on ‘beating breast cancer’ research and campaigns, when all along the truth is very very simple, to deeply love, nurture and take care our bodies and ourself. There is too much focus on it’s just one of those things, or it runs in the family, yes it does but only if the same choices are made. Imagine if every woman and girl on this planet knew the truth of what causes breast cancer, and how to prevent it, this would be true freedom. We would live, interact and be a very different way with ourselves and each other.
Indeed Gyl the consciousness behind, ‘beating breast cancer’ means when you are diagnosed the cultural mentality is already there that the cancer is something that we need to fight, that we need to be afraid of, and that may kill us…..which keeps us in contraction, keeps us small, keeps us living in the very same way that brought us the cancer in the first place…The totally opposite of this approach is to see that whatever life ( or our bodies) present us with, it is always without doubt a reflection of how we have been living – and is a call for us to make some changes, some refinements to our lives – to make different choices.. and always a price to pay if we heed the fore-warning. If we can adopt the attitude that life is full of lessons that we are here to learn and should we be willing to learn – this then becomes a more joyful way to evolve, (and evolve we must as is our natural way) as opposed to being forced to stop our ill patterns and behaviours (through illness and disease) which can initially be unpleasant and a shock to our system.
Articles like this need to be front page news.
Yes Gyl – major HEADLINERS!
This may be a hard pill for some to swallow, as many people do not want to see the level of abuse and disregard that they allow and treat themselves with, it’s easier to blame God, or someone else, or just one of those things, the why does it happen to me. It’s a very sobering moment when you come to that place and stop, with honesty and realise that it is you, and no one else, that has not taken responsibility for loving and deeply caring for yourself.
And if I may add, it is in that sobering moment that grace can enter and thus so much support becomes available…..perhaps a magical moment…..
Jacqueline what you have offered here is huge, there are thousands and thousands of woman receiving a fresh new diagnosis of breast cancer every year in the UK, and that is only in one small country in this world, multiply that number by the many countries across the world and that is millions and millions of woman – not to mention, families, friends and work colleagues who are affected by this. Everything in the cure for cancer thus far has been about fighting, beating the disease, seeing it as a curse, it’s just one of those things, blame God, or why does it happen to me. No one thus far, until Serge Benhayon and yourself, have offered the truth about this illness and disease, that it is the lack of true love, nurturing and care that we have been living and treating our body and ourself with, that accumulates this. Which our body then blesses us, by discarding everything we have poured into it.
Thank-you Gyl. The truth is that when we take responsibility for our life and all our past choices, our body feels this and deeply appreciates when we take ownership of our self-abuse that our bodies have been on the receiving end of….. Then our body indeed blesses us by discarding everything we have poured into it.
I love that you have shared that honesty is a medicine. From my experience it really is. If we stay stubborn and find it difficult to let go of certain ideals it is like drinking poison.
Thank you, Jacqueline. A powerful message for all of us, and tremendous support for those who are also in the process of clearing an illness from their body – “I discovered the deeper I care, cherish, nourish and love my body the more my body truly supports and communicates to me the wisdom it holds, and the more I feel from my true essence”.
Can you imagine in the future how amazing it would be when going to the doctor when sharing your symptoms you are supported to get honest and talk about your lived choices that got you to the point of coming to see them? Wouldn’t this revolutionise medicine as we know it. Honesty, (without the self bashing) as you describe it Jacqueline is the best medicine. From that point we can open ourselves up to true healing.
Jaqueline, your honest blog made me aware how I am still neglecting myself and how this adds to hold back my natural power, which leaves me exhausted. Thank you for your sharing.
Rejecting, bashing, harming our bodies is what we need to change” so very true and it feels horrible the abuse and violence that we inact upon ourselves, conscious and at times unaware.
The very way we move indicates to us what energy is driving us and is worth observing. I know when I am moving in a rush and therefore in anxiety and when I am moving with my all and feel the confidence this brings. I know when I am moving in the rhythm of another and when I am moving in my own rhythm and what a difference this makes as I am in step, rather than out of step with myself. I know when I move from my very own impulse and when I move to appease another and what that feels like in my body.
As woman connecting to our bodies allow us to move in a way that honour us first and foremost and therefore honours all in the process. Our breasts are our nurturing centres so it makes perfect sense that if we nurture ourselves to the max, starting with the very way we move, that nurturing energy will overflow and nurture all who enter our sphere.
Beautifully shared, Kathleen. We know with every movement whether we are connected to our natural gentleness and presence or whether there is a drive or force involved, so developing an honest relationship with ourselves is key to making sure we choose to live from our essence in each moment.
Yes janetwilliams06 and there is no limit to the depth of stillness we can step into when we connect and surrender to our essence. This is our true beauty and our power as a woman.
The way we move is super important and will inform our next movement… I lived with the belief that there was never enough time, which kept me in a constant rush mode ( along with the sugar rush), rushing 24/7, which also kept me disconnected from my body. This habit was so ingrained that I was unable to change it until I had the big stop moment and could slow down and re-assess my life…. indeed a blessing in disguise, because I learned a new movement, and that was to nurture and nourish and cherish myself deeply, which my body greatly appreciates, as I refine this further.
Yes jacqmcfadden04, and there is never an end to this refinement as we can deepen the love that we bring to every movement/moment by deepening and connecting to the stillness that is the power and the essence of a woman.
Interestingly although I look back and recognise that I was a prime candidate for breast cancer I did not share the same feelings about my body. It’s fascinating to feel that you, Jacqueline detested your body and so felt that you could abuse it, whereas I actually really liked my body and still chose to abuse it. I was caught up in thinking that my body was great as it was physically very fit and managed to do a colossal amount each day and so I continued to do strenuous exercise and cram way too much into each day, believing that I was adding to my body rather than depleting it. I am in no doubt that had my body not packed up entirely then I would have got breast cancer.
Great point Alexis that even when you felt good about your body, still you continuously depleted it and abused it by pushing and cramming too much into your day, but this is how most women live. And I love the honesty in your last sentence; ‘ I am in no doubt that had my body not packed up entirely then I would have got breast cancer’.
Jacqueline you write in such a powerful way because what you write comes from your body and therefore it is unquestionably the truth.
I still struggle to take care of myself deeply. In the past attempting this care has made me very uncomfortable. This is how it worked for me:
If I tended to everyone else needs and everything else in the house then and only then was I comfortable to do what I needed for me.
I am in the midst of retraining and now can go to myself first but the discomfort and anxiety are sometimes still present. I can also play out as mild shame, like I am not worthy of being put first. This all stems from lack of self worth. I am slowly changing this very ingrained way of operating and it feels great, every day it gets easier and yesterday the shame was mild yet I put myself first and I enjoyed most of it, rather than rushing and worrying.
Thank you Jacqueline for your honesty and generosity in your article, it will be very powerful for anyone and especially those whom are dealing with illness and disease.
Thank you, Sarah, for your honest response. How crazy is it that caring for ourselves is something that doesn’t come naturally to us? If I had not come across Universal Medicine, I dread to think how loveless and abusive my relationship with my body would have continued to be.
Universal Medicine has been an amazing support for me too janetwilliams06.
As I have shared in my last comment, I am not perfect but the support offered by Universal Medicine has been life changing. I am able to look at myself in situations from an observers point of view and play with changing things up. This freedom was not something that was available to me before as I was caught in the motion and emotions of my previous rollercoaster lifestyle.
I love your honesty sarahraybaldwin. I do recognise this trait that you mention. I too could only take care of my needs once the house and all others were seen to, which meant I had no energy left for me. Why do we women do this… because of the belief that; ‘we are not worthy of putting ourselves first’, pure gold! And that we do not deserve. Lying underneath this, is our lack of self-worth that runs us and keeps us in the same old patterns… until we break this old way of living and choose a new way; putting ourselves first. Thank-you sarahraybaldwin, perhaps your comment is a seed for a blog, as in, your are changing your old beliefs which is the way to prevent illness and disease….
Thanks for your reply jacqmcfadden04. Everything you and I have mentioned above is true but I have discovered more is going on at theses times. There is a need we put out as woman, when I walk through the kitchen all my 5 kids ask me to do something for them but my husband walks through and is greeted with cuddles and kisses and no demands. The truth is kids get everything done whether I am there or my husband home, so is it the kids needing me or me needing them? I do not come across as needy, as I am very independent and unidentified in being a mother, so how and what does this need look like ? In my experience it plays out as the perfect excuse for me to be in motion and busy myself instead of stopping, feeling and being still. I lust after this stillness but the reality and intimacy that comes with true stillness can be confronting at first.
So in conclusion it is a self worth issue, yes but it is a choice to avoid being with me and it comes with the ultimate excuse, I don’t have time.
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing yourself so generously. I find it very interesting that that many women could relate to treating themselves in the way you had before being diagnosed with breast cancer and not have breast cancer present as their stopping point, We are all given stopping points that are designed as a healing not only for ourselves but for all around us.
“It is self-love that stops the ingrained pattern of abusing our bodies, with self-love slowly replacing self-rejection”. If we are truly honest with ourselves we know that our bodies reflect to us either the irresponsible or the responsible choices we choose and there is no one else to blame. Thank-you for this very honest blog Jaqueline.
Amazing honesty and humbleness it takes to consider that one is the cause of their own illness and disease, which is absolutely true. I really like how you have shared your story about breast cancer, and how you came to the awarenesses that you did, and made the changes that were necessary to heal the underlying root cause of the disease. Self love, self nurturing and general respect for our bodies is so not a normal part of growing up or living on earth, but it should be. Thank you for how clearly you state this.
Jacqueline there are many stand out sentences in this blog, but one of the ones that grabbed me the most was “It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.” This turns the paradigm of putting others before yourself out of charity, duty, religious ideals and so on on its head. As women we are taught that we must put ourselves last but to what cost? As you have pointed out this only makes us very ill and society very sick because we are not taught to honour who we are and celebrate ourselves for all that we bring.
Beautiful share Michelle819, and I agree, as women we are taught to put ourselves last and that is also the reflection we get from our mothers as they were taught that too from their mothers, such is the ripple effect….but yes at what cost? I can share that after the diagnosis of breast cancer I just knew that; “if I was going to get through this cancer, I had to put myself first in my life”. And I did, and that was when my life started to change.
This is gold Jacqueline because if there was any proof in the pudding then this must surely be it. With more women like you sharing their experiences of cancer whilst owning responsibility for it and taking the necessary steps to change what led to it, you are starting a revolution as to how we view illness and disease and how we can heal from it in full. Inspirational.
Wow Jacqueline,this is so very true, ‘Rejecting, Abusing, Harming And Bashing Our Bodies Is ‘what we need to change’. It is so crazy that we do this to our bodies, but most women do, including me in the past, i abused my body with alcohol, drugs, smoking, extreme sports, the list goes on, it feels so lovely now to be taking care of my body and nurturing myself, i have observed that generally in society this taking care of ourselves is unusual and people are often surprised that i don’t drink, smoke, stay out late, so it seems that to abuse and dislike our bodies is considered much more normal than taking care of and nurturing them.
How many women subscribe to looking after others before themselves – I’d go as far as to say many women, as I’ve heard and seen many, many women (including myself, even though I am not a mother) put the needs of others before their own in the name of love. But it isn’t love if it is at the expense of ourselves.
I have neglected, abused, disregarded and overridden my body as well many times. Why do we do this instead of lovingly take care of ourselves? It is ironic really and the world is not currently set up to reflect this to us. There is a lot to change and Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric Woman’s Health are paving the way.
Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric Woman’s Health are indeed paving the way. It was because of their understanding of the body and how we as women are currently living ( self-abuse on self-disregard) that provided the greatest support for me to make change, and come back to self-care and self-nourishment – the total opposite of self-abuse.
The importance of self-love and self-nurturing can never be underestimated. I feel many would benefit from reading your experience and what this can offer to so many going through cancer treatments. Thank you Jacqueline.
I am reminded re-reading this blog that so often we are given a ‘stop’ from our bodies and sometimes do not fully appreciate the stop. I know there have been many times when I have just charged back into the same self-neglect and self- abusive behaviours immediately after recovering from an illness or condition and I have friends who have had cancer and the whole chemo thing and today live much simpler, gentler lives as a result of the permanent damage to their bodies but they still wish for the life they had before they got ill.
‘Accepting and appreciating how tender and precious our bodies truly are’ This statement alone, if it was really lived, would transform all of medicine as we know it. I know that I am still exploring what this actually means and still finding layers of patterns that I have where I do not see/treat my body in this way.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” Your medicine of honesty is truly inspiring Jacqueline. Thank you for broadening the scope of abuse to show that it includes ‘taking care of all others before ourselves’.
This stayed with me Jackie ‘ I did not work for one year during my treatment.’ Women often feel driven to rush back to work soon after surgery and during treatment. This is often seen as a mark of strength and resilience. Thank you for showing us another way: that after surgery or during treatment it is vital to stop, feel and listen to our bodies for as long as we can before returning to work.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” This is such a powerful statement to make Jacqueline. It makes us stop and think about what we are choosing for ourselves. This statement coming from someone who has had cancer is worth listening to and pondering on. Anyone who has cancer, anyone who has an illness of a different kind, or indeed anyone at all would do well to sit up and take notice.
Within all that is written here there are many truths for every person to take on board, man or woman, breast cancer or not. This is simply down to all illness and disease and the amongst the many lines not to be ignored is “I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” Nothing just happens and it does not happen overnight, as we have many signs before reaching the ‘catastrophe’. I too can say that I was diagnosed with breast cancer as a result of ill choices I had been making towards myself for many many years. Thank you Jacqueline for sharing the with everyone.
Agreed Katie or we are considered selfish and yet how wrong this is as it is not selfish or indulgent to look after ourselves. It is the most loving act we can do for ourselves.
The more we disregard the body and see it as a functioning tool to get through life, the more likely we are to abuse it and allow abuse to it, as it becomes an acceptable and normal everyday occurrence. Before Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Women’s groups I had no idea I was abusing my body as I had become so numb to my true sensitivities and feelings. Pushing my body to it’s limits was normal and expected yet I now know is absolutely not loving and was the cause of all the hardness and pain in my body.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” This is a powerful stop statement to ponder and take responsibility for our body and how we care for ourselves. To disregard our own body in order to put everyone else first to tick the ‘good, kind and helpful’ box for recognition is self-abuse.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.”
In medical research this is quite well understood when we talk about lifestyle diseases. It would be quite revolutionary if it is understood just how deep these choices and consequences go, just how important the individual patient and their issues are when it comes to getting ill and healing.
I love this blog Jacqueline and I appreciate the dedication you have brought into your life by living a more truthful way of living, a life based on the guidance of your body, as our bodies are connected to a wisdom that is far more advanced than what our minds could ever imagine. This blog reminds me that my body knows and that I can find all the answers in life when I allow the connection with my body to deepen and to be my guide in life. Taking that level of responsibility in life will leave “no space for feeling a victim of life” anymore.
Exactly Kristy. And this is where Esoteric Women’s Health and Esoteric Breast Massage are pioneering the way forward for women.
Until just very recently I hadn’t considered or felt that any choice that was not supporting the absolutely gorgeous me in my entirety, was abusive. I now know this absolutely to be true. It is no wonder disease and illness are rampant on a global level when we truly consider this.
“So how did I create my own illness? I was a master at abusing my body – and the greatest abuse to my body? … I completely rejected my body, detested my body and was ashamed of my body. Thus I gave no thought, consideration or respect to my body in all that I did.” I can’t say that I have heard anyone, in any of the self-help seminars, books and programs I’ve been exposed to over many years, tell a personal story that made so much sense to a seeming phenomenon. I say ‘seeming’ because it’s clear the author of this blog knows for herself. It’s time these stories are told on a wide scale and publicly.
I agree Oliver, its time to tell these on a pubic scale.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” If only this, from someone who’s had breast cancer, would be heard and heeded by the medical fraternity and more importantly the generally public – through anecdotal evidence (abundant in our world today).
Oh Jacquline how divine and graceful and absolutely joyfully connected you look and feel. Thank you for sharing what is required to heal after a big stopping illness. It has taken me a while to get it but for me illness and disease has been a godsend, it has offered me a stopping point to consider the trajectory I was on that was taking me further and further away from the absolute love and joy that I came into this life already with. We must listen to our bodies, there is no avoiding it and sometimes getting seriously ill is the only way to reach us. A blessing in disguise indeed.
Thank-you Suzanne Cox…. It was a big blessing indeed in so many ways.
This blog is so incredible powerful. I love every word of it. It is full of Truth, Care, Honesty and this all from a woman who’s been through the whole proces herself. If I look through the breast cancer, she’s sharing so much wisdom that in fact is gold for everyone. One of the things I’ve understood on a deeper level is the power of listening to ourselves. That in fact not appreciating ourselves is the polar opposite of listening to ourselves. Only from listening to ourselves we are able to be appreciative of ourselves. Thank you Jacqueline McFadden. I trust your words will find it’s way to many, many women suffering from breast cancer, people who know and support women with breast cancer as well as people who professionaly work with patients, such as nurses, doctors, GP’s, etc. This blog could be in a science magazine as well.
I agree Floris – it is the type of article that needs to be in our papers, in science magazines. I would rather read this as I learn and heal so much just from reading Jacqueline’s experience.
Yes Marcia, there’s actually so much science written in this blog. Lived science that is. I so would love to make the world again about people, about us, about our experiences. There’s so much to learn from each other. And whenever something is shared that has a Human heart in it, I feel that I can relate. Love is what connects us and Love is what heals us and Love is what binds us. Thank you Marcia.
“I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis”. This is such a truism that inappropriate behaviour that is taken for granted becomes the accepted norm and it is the foundation of so much disharmony in society today.
To view illness and disease as a ‘stop’ moment and ask how have we been living to get to the point of this illness, is a very powerful and healing way to make some permanent changes to our lives. There’s’ no point at all returning to the way that made us ill, and without the illness, there’s the possibility we would carry on in the same way until something even more serious happened. Your wise words show us that we have so much to learn through illness Jacqueline.
Jacqueline,
Thank you for your openess and honesty. Reading how you come to realise that it was how you were with your body that brought you to disease, and making the choice to see honestly that change was needed to support your return to health. This is so practical and real. A writting that should be offered to every woman who finds herself with any illness, but most definitely those diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
What I love about what you have shared is it not only related to how we can normalise abusing the body because we took it for granted, but also how this can relate to relationships and people, and how we can take them for granted and the abuse of those we are closest to can become normal.
Very True kristy all to often it isn’t until family members pass over the family start appreciating them.
I agree – its an oddity, and almost seen as strange because so few feel able to express to people how much they do love them. Is the saddest thing to see someone love another and not have been shown how to express themselves.
Yes Rebecca I agree, once we start on the slippery slope of not appreciating ourselves, then of course that same neglect or lack of appreciation reflects in all our other relationships. The more we love ourselves the more we are able to love others, it sounds corny but is true.
Hi Sarah, there is nothing corny about ‘The more we love ourselves the more we are able to love others’ as this is makes complete sense.
And furthermore, to add to my comment above, as women our breasts are our natural nurturing centres so it makes perfect sense that the more we nurture and love ourselves the stronger and fuller we become and the more able we are to extend this nurturing and love to others in a true way.
And slowly, more and more that are saying ‘you can’t love another until you love yourself’ is becoming more known and understood, however few are actually actioning the loving themselves part as it takes commitment to yourself – something most are not used to
Yes, Rebecca I totally agree. I have known this saying for a long time and but only now am I beginning to understanding it in full.Self love is not as simple as one might think. Most of us are very comfortable to love another but there is a whole another set of rules when we put ourselves in the equation. We are so hard on ourselves, the thoughts we allow, what we expect ourselves to be able to do and how little we allow ourselves to actually do whats right for us. We trick ourselves into thinking self love is, a walk, healthy dinner, a bath or a treat but if in any or all of these actions you are allowing racy thoughts, drive or judgment….. then is it love or does it just look good? “Love takes commitment to yourself ” this is a great line Rebecca and I wanted to add that self love is a moment to moment commitment, a constant choice.
I agree Sarah – the actions are only as good as the intentions behind them, and it is how you are with yourself in the ordinary moment that is just as important as the obviously self-loving moments.
Yes Rebecca, that is what I am discovering anyway.I am actually enjoying things that use to be a hassle to me, like taking out the garbage and have found in that joy, I feel loved, as hidden in our daily task is many opportunity to love being you in what ever you are doing.
Thats actually a real gem there Sarah – a way to completely turn things like cooking a proper meal, exercising, working, doing chores etc that many find tedious, into something worth while doing, all by changing the way you approach doing them
Yes Rebecca it is a real gem of an approach that can be used on any situation.
Before I begun this approach I thought it was a man’s job to take out the bin and if my husband didn’t do it, I was doing his job.This simple task of garbage removal became swamped with so many beliefs and labourious thoughts that the bin was not only a chore but an insult to me as a woman.
Once I dropped the nonsense and began enjoying the task, the night air, the stars on the walk out and the reality that the bin was tiny and light and a man was not needed or necessary to complete the task, I laughed at how many other things I might be clouding with this crap, rather than simply enjoying them.
I love how you share that honesty is powerful medicine, and “stop rejecting our body and the love that we were born with and all are” … These two statements are key in illness prevention and taking true care of ourselves. An awesome blog to read Jacqueline as every statement brings depth and meaning to what true health care is.
This question is so pertinent Jacqueline – ‘Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are? ‘ I had always seen illness and disease as an inconvenience at best, and a failure of me and my body at worst. I had also counted myself as lucky that I was not succumbing to the more serious and sometime fatal diseases being experienced by my circle of friends and family. I am now reconsidering whether luck has any part to play. Contemplating this questions opens up the possibility of a whole new way of living life.
Rereading your blog today Jacqueline this sentence stood out for me – ‘there was no space for feeling a victim of life, there was no space to blame anyone, thus another space opened up for me, the space to surrender…’ When I have been going through a difficult patch in my life, my tendency had been to wallow, blame others and cry ‘why me.’ None of which ever helped the situation. My experience recently has been to let go of all that and surrender into the space created by letting go. Sometimes there is no answer there, but by stepping forward in that surrender I have been able to accept the way things are and then make loving choices from that point.
Its so ingrained that martyr style of caring for others – I know I’ve fallen prey to it. Thinking its a good thing to put others needs before mine, a selfless act. These days I see it for what it is – a means to attempt to control life, a protective measure.
This is an absolute must read blog – thank you for laying it all out so clearly and through your own personal experience. Powerful stuff
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.” this is a very honest story and certainly makes me think about how I have treated my body with disregard in the past and how much more loving and nurturing I am with my body these day. Reading this story reminds me of the importance of continually deepening my love for my body and truly nurturing myself as a woman.
I agree Margaret it is very powerful to be honest and to deeply appreciate where we have come from in regards to how we treat ourselves. There is always more tenderness and fragility to bring for myself and to deepen.
Well said Margaret. It is super important to not just create a self loving relationship with ourselves, but to continually evolve this as we feel things need tweaking or to change. That said, the only way this can be done successfully is if we can appreciate how far we’ve developed, and to such an extent we have already deepened the love in our body.
“I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis.” This not only applies when we take our bodies for granted but also when we take others for granted and the abuse that can insidiously (or not so insidiously) play out in relationships too.
Your blog is very inspiring Jacqueline, and brings a great depth of understanding to breast cancer and how it manifests. How powerful is it when we take responsibility for our choices and our own health…and your photo says it all – absolutely stunning Jacqueline.
I agree Paula and then to share these choices and changes with the world is a game changer.
Jacqueline I stopped at your statement of fact ‘I took my body for granted, and when you take anything or anyone for granted, it is so easy to abuse and yet have no clue you are abusing because the behaviour of self-abuse has become your ‘normal’ on a daily basis’. The truth of your statement hit me from both of the angles that you mentioned, taking my body for granted and taking those closest to me for granted and yes I have abused both.
Yes Alexis this is a powerful statement. I can attest to taking my body for granted as well. It isn’t until we begin to truly appreciate the magnificence of the human body and that its purpose here on earth is to house our soul that perhaps we begin to truly love and care for ourselves, seeing anything less than love as abuse.
Well said Alexis and Donna. People around the world have very different measures to define what ‘abuse’ and ‘self abuse’ is, and this depends on their own appreciation and acceptance towards their own body & divinity. Someone who does not believe they are worth looking after will accept much higher levels of abuse than someone who absolutely values themselves and won’t compromise for anyone – they should definitely be teaching in schools the way to build to the latter.
I agree Susie. The amount of abuse we accept is very much dependent on our own self appreciation and sense of self worth. We tend to go into comparison and look at how others are living to measure how we are. We could be abusing ourselves but because the next person might be more extreme we think with are OK and are in denial of the fact that there is more to go. It is so important that we learn to understand what abuse actually is, in fact anything which does not come from love, so that we can trust that our feelings are true and not override them. Learning not to compromise for anyone when coming from this truth is a life lesson we all need to learn.
Susie that is a very important point – if self-worth and deeply valuing ourselves was learnt from a young age and taught in schools, we would see a completely different world.
Jacqueline, your beautiful blog brings such power and love into the lives of women. We have used abusive ways to survive the onslaught of life and then have gone on to berate ourselves for so doing – we are past masters of beating ourselves up. Your clarity and strength of expression shine forth in all your words and inspire us to embrace our lives fully as we take responsibility for our past choices, and move on to the future living our lives with true love and respect for our beautiful bodies as they reflect to the world our inner stillness and grace.
Jacqueline, I found your experience and the sharing of it quite remarkable. This is certainly something that all young mothers especially ought to read, and I know several who put themselves last, or at least do not regard self-care and nurturing to be a secret ingredient to a body that is healthy. It seems so many young women have a total disregard for their body pushing it through the hoops of life just to get the job done. Thank you.
Yes the new wave of young women and those in their 30s and 40s who are meant to ‘have it all’ seem to have everything without any quality and tenderness. I know I have had to really understand that drive and getting the job done was not the first thing but my quality of how I go about those jobs that is important. This is something I develop every day and know from those who are able to do this with consistency that so much is possible when this is the foundation.
It is true Vanessa, the women who have it all. I know that I have felt the desire to be one of those women, but you can feel what is required to get there and the resulting body when you are there, is empty, forever having to keep up with the next thing to have, like it is never enough, there is never an end to the desire to be something. A true sense of self, purpose, a one humanity, deep self-care and nurturing is nowhere in sight with this as ones purpose.
I was reflecting on the analogy of caring and cherishing ourselves as if we were a newborn child. If they cry we don’t chastise them or tell them to stop, as we do ourselves we find out what is needed and deliver it to them, as we trust that they know, this connection seems to disappear over time as we start to ignore and override our bodies.
What a double barrel whammy of revolutionary and evolutionary insight you offer with your blog Jacqueline McFadden. Thank you so much for your honest expose’ into how we “create our own illness from the choices we make on a daily basis” and into the possibility “… that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?”. In my eyes you are a living testament to the truth of these concepts.
“It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies.” It is true Jacqueline it is not normal, yet we have accepted it as normal because no one has told us otherwise. We have let society dictate how we should be without listening to what our body really knows and is telling us daily. I had not realised until the Esoteric woman’s groups how much we not only dislike our bodies but that there is a deep self loathing that dismisses the fact that we are women in the first place. We have learnt to be everything for everyone at the expense of our bodies and what it means to truly be a woman.
A beautiful honesty to be felt and appreciated here.
There is not one once of victim in this blog – and that is so powerful in us starting to take responsibility for what happens to our bodies and how we treat them. More and more I am learning that if I live from the head by body suffers and I am no longer listening to the signs it is giving me. Yes I liked sugar too but it came from my head knowing that sugar would wake me up so I didn’t have to feel in my body that I was exhausted. To get breast cancer seems like a real stop moment for you to clear old patterns and start to honour your body. what a healing.
WOW!- Jacqueline what powerful claiming of yourself back to a true woman, after living through breast cancer without any ounce of self-pity, guilt or shame, but honesty- saying it as it is- the facts. Every woman should read your story. Very inspirational!
Thank you Jacqueline for writing this much needed blog and highlighting the disregard we have for our bodies and that by treating our bodies with such harshness we are setting ourselves up for illness and disease. Slowly I am beginning to realise that the harshness you describe is so far removed from who we truly are as women naturally and that there is so much more we can offer ourselves and humanity, if we listen to our bodies.
Super blog here really opening up the conversation on breast cancer and true health in general. Things can look ok on the surface but if we are in complete rejection and loathing of our bodies then this is just as deadly. We need to take to a new understanding what abuse of the body actually means and this blog does just that. Thank you.
With the authority of your lived experience, Jacqueline, you have shared a story that is both a wake up call and inspiration. How incredible to realise and understand that we are not powerless victims in some random ‘play’ and that all our choices set up our experiences. This is the joy of responsibility if we are willing to step up to it.
The fear of cancer has lived with me for a number of years as so many members of my family have had it and some have died because of it. So far I have not a trace of it, but that’s not to say I won’t. Your article is a great reminder for all women to live in a deeply nurturing way and not leave it too late.
It is interesting, when I look back I am not sure if I rejected my body or mostly ignored it, neglected it. I was spared cancer but I didn’t ever get to know just how much truth there is in the signals from my body.
It seems such a simple thing to even teach once to the masses…listen to your body for it holds all the answers, yet never once did I hear this. Instead we are taught to look outside and jump straight on the hamster wheel of life happening to us. How different life could be if we knew how much truth and love is already inside of us.
Just to feel the quality of tenderess that is in your eyes Jaqueline in your photo lets me know that your really have embodied as well as understand the healing of being gentle and loving towards yourself as well as the true cause of our illness.. our own loveless choices.
Even reading such an honest account of your experience is creating a stop moment for me to reflect on some of the choices I have made and are making.
Me too nicloesjardin. Jacqueline’s bog is truly inspiring.
Thank you Jacqueline for such a beautiful, lucid and honest sharing of your journey from self-abuse to self-nurture, that illness and disease is the result of our choices and how we can prevent future illness and disease.
Thank you Jacqueline, your honesty and courage in the face of such a scary disease in truly inspiring, I have not heard many women own that they ‘created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis”. That is an awesome statement because not only it is true, but it empowers you to make different choices on a daily basis that can lead to true health and vitality. Our bodies are truly our best friend, they are with us 24/7, know everything we are thinking, feeling and doing and carry out our every wish, even when that wish injures and hurts it immensely. Learning to cherish and nurture our bodies can and does bring rich rewards and you are living testament to this truth Jacqueline.
This is such a beautifully honest blog – true honesty, where many of us are not yet prepared to go. The blessing of a ‘stop’ may come in many forms – a sore shoulder, a broken leg, a car accident or breast cancer. What matters is how we embrace this stop, whether we choose to alter our momentum or continue along the same path until we are given an even bigger stop. I have not always embraced my stops but am fully appreciative for the clearing and learning they have brought. Jacqueline, your choice to heal and learn is truly inspirational.
I agree Carmin that I have not always embraced my ‘stops’ as the necessary blessings that they are but the appreciation and acceptance that Jacqueline genuinely expresses in this blog is very healing.
There is so much gold in this blog I don’t know where to start, but I will start;
“Taking Care Of All Others Before Ourselves Is ‘what we need to change’.”
and
“It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.”
Thank you for sharing the truth behind what it is to self care and expose that it is not selfish to put self first but instead self abusive. If we all cared for ourselves we wouldn’t need to care for others. Perfect world I know but for those that do care for self they are then truly able to care for other. I say no more burnt out healers, if you are burnt out you are not healing.
Wow Jacqueline Fadden this is Brilliant and Wow what a stunning photo of you. Congratulations and thank you deeply for sharing your experiences, wisdom and honesty with us. Indeed the best medicine there is!
Jacqueline a fantastic super powerful article, I love where you write ” Rejecting, Abusing, Harming And Bashing Our Bodies Is ‘what we need to change’.” In truth many women including myself (until I came across Universal Medicine) don’t know how abusing or self-harming we are to ourselves on a daily basis. It is really important to get the message out to women that there is a more loving way to live, and if we do get a ‘Stop’ that there is an opportunity for a new beginning.
‘I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.’ – This is such a powerful statement Jacqueline and shows the impact every choice we make has on our body. If the choices are not made from love eventually they can lead to illness and disease.
Jacqueline I would love to see this powerful story headlined on all the women’s magazines. Instead of the stories that glorify self-sacrifice and feed on survival accounts here is a super hero empowering everyday story we can all learn from – the power of honesty, taking time to rest and listen to and honour our bodies, and that disease prevention is in our own hands.
Hear hear Anne – more publicised stories like this that go straight to the heart of the breast cancer issue from a very personal perspective are exactly what we need.
I deeply appreciate what you have shared Jacqueline, it is an offer to all women to ponder how they live and treat themselves and their bodies in regards of illness and disease and especially breast cancer.
Honesty is how we truly heal. Without honesty we are continually stuck in a paradigm of denial that keeps us closed from seeing the part we play in illness and disease. Thank you Jacqueline for your honesty and sharing.
Beautiful blog Jacqueline thank you and so needed. I love how you have taken prevention to another level. There is much talked about prevention as in eating healthy, exercising, not smoking, not drinking etc. but not so much about how we are living and how we are treating ourselves as a whole. Like how do we think about ourself, how do we feel about ourselves? It is so common to loathe yourself and never see yourself as enough that it has become normal in society, yet it is not. Your blog brings in that part of how to be with ourselves and as there is so much of that unloving behavior it may not always be easy to love ourselves again but it is very needed as our bodies are simply showing that how we treat them now is not working.
Being honest with ourselves should be straightforward, but in my experience I know I have fooled myself many times. I would previously have said I was an honest person but looking back, I exaggerated and completely ignored messages, so behaved in a very dishonest way. Feeling into honesty as medicine, it is true Jacqueline, when we are honest we get the wisdom of the messages from the body straight head on.
Jacqueline, I could feel your words resonate in my body. It is so important to honour our bodies and to change the way that self loathing has become normal for women. Self honouring needs to become the normal way for women. Imagine how fabulous the world would be.
What a powerful blog. It really redefines abuse and what could be considered as abuse. Sometimes we hear people saying all the good people seem to get sick, but do we stop to consider in their doing “good” are they caring and nurturing themselves.
Wow Jacqueline this is such an exceptional and inspiring blog. Every word here is so powerfully claiming of you, the gorgeous beautiful you. Your sharing of living through breast cancer and navigating your way back home to yourself is so awesome, no shred of the victim here, I hope that many many people get to read your blog, thank you for writing it and blessing us all with your story.
Such a powerful testament to listening to and honouring the wisdom of our body. I feel there is so much clarity in what you share here Jacqueline, if we do not stop our body finds a way to stop us and from here we have the choice to listen and heal or play the victim in life, the choice is ours.
Wow Jacqueline, this is huge and a much needed read for any woman, with cancer or not.
It is amazing to be aware and honest that all your choices led to creating an illness in your body. Such honesty allows the space for enormous healing and evolution to take place. With over 40 000 new cases of Breast Cancer in the UK alone this blog should be in all health magazines and shared all over Facebook so women can begin to understand that their choices lead to their health outcomes and that there is a way to support yourself to prevent this cancer. Self-love and self-nurturing are still hard for me but reading this blog it re-emphasises the wise words of ‘prevention is better than cure’. Thank you for sharing your journey.
And then we can ask the questions about why we avoid putting ourselves in our own driving seats; why we struggle to take care of ourselves; why we find it easier to self-criticise than to self-love and, through the exploration of questions such as these, open up conversations with each other out in the world. This is the changing tide – inspired and supported by articles such as these.
It is quite amazing Jacqueline to read of your honesty and acceptance of your choices and outcomes.
I felt such a deep sadness when I read “It is NOT normal to intensely reject, and loathe our bodies. It is a billion, trillion, zillion times away from normal.” Some of this was in recognition of how I used to live my life in this way, and feeling the hurt I still hold onto around this, but my sadness is also around how so very many women of all ages ‘intensely reject and loathe’ their bodies to the point where they will choose to ‘go under the knife’ to try to ‘fix’ it, or self-abuse in so many other ways to try not to feel it – sugar being a massive one. Your blog is such a powerful wake -up call for humanity Jacqueline and needs to be shared far and wide so as many as possible will have access to you living wisdom.
I agree Lucy Duffy this blog should be available in every GP surgery and oncology ward in the world.
“now I am making loving choices that truly allow access to the wisdom and intelligence my body holds and at the same time supports the prevention of future illness and disease.” This feels key to me and I can endorse what you say here Jacqueline as my whole life and health has changed for the better since making similar more loving choices too.
Jacqueline, thank you for sharing your journey thus far. “With embracing this simple, yet powerful truth, there was no space for feeling a victim of life, there was no space to blame anyone, thus another space opened up for me, the space to surrender…”
We are actively encouraged in society today to play the victim…larger insurance payouts, bigger media coverage, the sympathy vote….but none of this asks us to take responsibility for why we are at where we are at. You have shown however that taking responsibility is the first step in a monumentally life changing experience that nothing else can come close to.
Jacqueline, what another awesome and very illuminating blog. I feel sure that your experience with breast cancer will support many, many women to realise that they are not powerless victims, but they can make choices to empower themselves and their own healing by stopping and listening to their bodies and honouring themselves and the sacredness and beauty that they hold inside their bodies.
Jacqueline, such a powerful blog. I love how you say ‘honesty is medicine’. The honesty in this blog blows me away and is most undoubtedly a huge dose of medicine and so very healing. To have had breast cancer and truly feel why you had it and how you created it is amazing. To share this with others is so powerful and so needed. Thank you for sharing your story.
yes, she has truely felt why she got breast cancer- she has accepted her way of living had to be ‘stopped’, and hence her body sent her a big message. I love how she embraced the chance to change her life completely from the inside out. So many women will have the chance to look at an illness in a completely different way now, thanks to this stand out blog
‘Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?’ Another groundbreaking quote from your blog Jacqueline. This is a TOTALLY different way of looking at illness and disease; many hate getting even the slightest cold because it feels like a burden stopping them from living their life as normal, but could it be that that’s a good thing? That the illness only occurred so we can re-evaluate and look at how we are living?
Indeed Susie, if we are not listening and paying attention to what our body is communicating, we have another opportunity when illness or injury manifests, to stop and enquire what choices or way of living may have contributed.
This article touches on so many points of beautiful wisdom. We categorise abuse as simply verbal, physical or to do with hard core drugs. Yet what is at the root of all of these behaviours? The self-loathing and self-sacrifice you mention. Further than eliminating any substance or trying any new diet what would our world and cancer rates look like if we abstained from self-beating and made self-love and appreciation a constant staple in our diet? I feel we would all shine and be vital even in illness just as you are Jaqueline.
yes abuse is not just the obvious physical harms most people know of- there is so much more to it than that. i love how you have highlighted this aspect of jaquie’s blog as its one of the most powerful points of distinction she makes. 99% of women don’t consider that they abuse themselves daily just with self-loathing thoughts, let alone many other things.
Very well said Joseph. Self-loathing and self-bashing are definitely forms of abuse, for both men and women, and although it is of utter importance that we stand up to domestic, drug, verbal and physical abuse – it is EQUALLY important that we look at the self abuse that occurs behind so many closed doors for much of humanity. Without dealing with the latter, the former will not change in full because a lot of people see abuse as the norm from their years of experience of calling themselves names, saying horrible things and treating their body with disregard and disrespect – so then begin to act this way with others.
This is such a powerful article and shows how we can, if we are are humble enough and willing, turn a life threatening disease into a life giving way of being. But as you say why wait for the disease, let’s begin to appreciate our bodies and what they do for us now and choose more respect and love in the way we treat ourselves, bringing more nurturing into our everyday lives.
This is a really important sharing and blog for us all and the importance of true self care ,self love and living who we truly are with a deep appreciation for ourselves first and hence all others by this virtue. Breast cancer and all illness and disease is a wake up call and allows a healing of our bodes from our own rejection and abuse of them.It is beautiful to be given the true meaning understanding and way forward from illness and disease to a loving way of living for us all with an honouring and true appreciation for all we are .Thank you Jacqueline very inspiring.
indeed it is a wake up call, it does register deeply with women, a disease like breast cancer is not taken lightly when it comes into people’s homes.
this is so powerful, what an incredible story and I love how empowered you are, from how you are choosing to view this crossroads in life. Wow, I agree illness is a stop to make us consider where we are heading and how we have been living daily dances for better or worse into every single cell.
I so agree Felicity, Jacqueline you write in such an empowered way, sharing your wisdom and the choice you made to see this as an opportunity to stop, reassess and live your life in a truly self-loving way.
yeah, its so trail blaming for women who develop breast cancer to be aware of a way forward like this- kapow, she is amazing in how she cuts through the issues of ‘why did this happen to me’, and adjusts everything in her life as a direct result of the illness. I am so impressed and inspired by what this illness has given her.
True Felicity – a woman who can claim truth, share it and not shy away from her own beuaty and tenderness while she does, is a true Powerhouse.
I admire the commitment of all the writers and commenters on this blog including you Felicity, to embrace the truth and get to the bottom of whats not working in life.
We tend to go through life with an attitude of ‘I’m ok, it won’t happen to me’ or we may think we are taking care of our bodies, but there is always another level of tenderness we can go to. The key is listening: ‘The body knows how to make you stop, it also knows what support it needs to recover and truly heal.’
This is so true Carmel. I spoke with a woman who had breast cancer in the past and I was so shocked as I was knew that this person took such good care of themselves. However they weren’t going as deep as what they could with their self-love and nurturing and had become comfortable with where they were at so they needed the cancer to expose the comfort they had settled for. This made me aware that we must live in a way that keeps up with what our body is impulsing us to do and to keep up with our evolutionary path.
This is such an important distinction here between self-care and an ongoing deepening relationship and intimacy with ourselves which requires a refining of how we live and our rhythms to support what our bodies truly need.
Often taking nurturing to deeper level is seen as a longer “to do” list yet what it simply implies is deepening our connection with our breath and the quality of our movements.
True Carmel and another one is “I will deal with it when it happens”. Problem is when it happens it is far more difficult to deal with. Living lovingly may seem difficult but no as difficult as dealing with the consequences of not loving. Part of the abuse is having to do it the hard way. Instead of doing it “my way” how about we do it the loving way, “now what a world that would be” 🙂
And alternatively we can imagine the worst – thinking we will be struck down. What if I haven’t taken care of me enough, what is enough and so on. Ultimately it comes down to much more than just the immediacy we live with. We carry the imprints of lifetimes with us and our bodies will always be a means to clear and heal these. It is so true listening to the body is vital.
“Honesty is the first step. Having discovered for myself the powerful medicine honesty is, I can share from my own experience with breast cancer and say without any hesitation: I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis.”
Humanity is quick to point the finger at dishonestly between each other, yet what is not noticed is the rife dishonesty with self we call normal.
Sometimes we ‘think’ we are being honest with ourselves, but when we truly listen to our body and not our mind we realise that we are not being honest at all. It takes courage to truly be honest with ourselves, but once we begin to accept our dishonesty and turn it around, then true healing can begin. It is true what they say, honesty is the best policy and life is the best medicine!
Yes you are so right Sandra. we ‘think,’ we are being honest with ourselves and it’s only when we stop for a moment and actually feel what’s going on we can see how we override our true feelings that something may not be quite right. Honesty is definitely the best policy.
Absolutely!, They are not powerless victims, they can share so simply all that is going on for them in honesty and how breast cancer has helped them reconsider their lives. I have learned so much from reading this powerful blog.
When I read your comment lucindag what came to mind was the number of sayings we have that actually confirm that we do know how dishonest we are being with ourselves eg. ‘people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones’. It’s occurring to me that although this and so many other sayings, reveal truths and ancient wisdom that have been known for eons, the repetition of the saying comes to lose it’s meaning because we recognise the saying but have for the most part become numb to it’s true meaning.
Absolutely Lucy Duffy, but interesting to note that many of these sayings are used by people about someone else yet rarely do we apply it to ourselves, for this would lead to discomfort, sticking out and seeing the extent of our humanities irresponsibility.
Great point lucindag. It’s easy to look out and blame others for the state of the world but to take responsibility for our part in it’s creation takes a great deal of honesty as you say.
Prevention is most certainly better than cure and I hope many women can read this, and if they see similar patterns that you had in your life, in theirs they could maybe change things so they don’t have to go through what you did. It’s such a shame many of us have to learn the hard way and although many can see illness and disease as a blessing, I would still rather change my ways and avoid it altogether.
Quite often the women I know that get breast cancer are the women that are being super mums and there for everyone but themselves. This could be a huge indicator as to what may be a cause of breast cancer.
Toni I have observed a similar trend in the young women in my work place who get cancer – mothers of young children and super efficient and or super ambitious at work. Women who are driving their bodies hard.
yes indeed this has been a similar observation I have made- they are there for everyone but themselves, all the while fitting in with what others think is right. Yet its to their greatest detriment. breast cancer seems to hit women very hard, its very personal, and when its origins are in how women live i can see why. All illness and disease is a healing, so breast cancer is an opportunity to turn it all around, as Jaqui spectacularly has.
There is such a trend for young women to be everything for everyone, so many roles and boxes to tick….. work, family, partnernships, financial security, to be fit and to look good. But not much attention is paid to the quality of how we live and treat ourselves.
Prevention is better that cure kevmchardy and this amazingly honest story needs to be read by woman all around the world.
“I created my own illness from the choices I made on a daily basis” – oh my God, Jacqueline. You say this without an ounce of self-pity, self-loathing, guilt. And it’s not even a confession. And reading back again, you say at the very beginning “Having lived through breast cancer” – you didn’t choose to use the word ‘survive’. This, to me, is earthshatteringly powerful to feel into.
Yes Fumiyo words are powerful and Jacqueline’s choice of “lived through” rather than “survive” says a lot. Although the disease was of her own making she acknowledged it, and accepted it as her way back to rediscovering the beautiful and powerful woman she always was.
Fumiyo that struck me too. People are so stuck on the word ‘survivor’ but what Jacqueline presents is clear insight as to how the disease helped her correct a way of being and living that was self-destructive.
True Anne. This is revolutionary as the word ‘survivor is so commonly portrayed as the pinnacle of success, when actually it sells us very short of what we are all so capable of.
So perhaps we should change our focus championing ‘surviving’ a disease to valuing how much self-awareness was gained and how much one’s levels of self-love increased through the messages and evolutionary opportunities the disease offered them. Now that would be an awesome about face for humanity.
I agree Fumiyo, Jacqueline says it without any regret or shame whic is a testament to the healing she has surrendered to and the power we have when we choose love and then make choices based on love. Love gives us a platform of understanding and so yes we can look back, it is important to do so, but not with regret because we can easily see we made the choices we did, it does not judge or blame in anyway.
Immensely revealing of what is possible when we have the benefit of an awareness around the fact that our lives are our medicine – good and bad and indeed super powerful to read.
Jaqueline, this is an amazing testimony for all women everywhere. Breast cancer is now so endemic we have to look at the way we are living and the choices we are making daily. “Before breast cancer I made choices that harmed and abused my body, now I am making loving choices that truly allow access to the wisdom and intelligence my body holds and at the same time supports the prevention of future illness and disease.” This is what we all need to know, thank you for sharing your experience.
This is one of the most powerful blogs I have ever read. I am almost speechless with its knock out power and truth. Thank you so much for standing up and telling it like it is. This is essential information for all women.
Felicity I agree with you. The power, truth and lived experience of this blog has blown me away. This is a must read for all women and needs to be translated into many different languages. Every woman has the right to access the truth of the underlying cause of breast cancer and this blog gets straight to the point with honesty and integrity.
yes this is absolutely every womans right to have this presented in such a way. I am glad i have chosen to know myself , step by step, as being worth loving and caring for. The time taken for gentleness and tenderness is not a difficulty when we love feeling who we are, and realise its immense value
True Felicity – it is mind blowing becuase we are not used to hearing truth like this. It is breaking age old consciousness.
This is an article for every woman to read as the way you were living before the diagnosis of breast cancer was not ‘off the wall’ but common to how many women are running their bodies, so not surprisingly breast cancer is on the rise. And quite often it is not until something comes along to stop this that there is an opportunity to look beyond the merry go round we are stuck on. Jacqueline you have shared so much in relation to breast cancer as well all health issues but one thing that would benefit so many would be ‘It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.’ and to know and live this from an early age wold be one step in the right direction to breast cancer prevention. Thank you.
I so agree jsnelgrove36 what Jacqueline shares is absolutely essential for all women to read as you shared simply the fact that as women we put all others ahead of ourselves. This is such a common place habit of so many women and it is self-abuse, we run ourselves ragged to what end? It is not surprising the breast cancer rates are on the rise, as women we need to stop, connect and begin to develop truly self-loving relationships with ourselves.
Absolutely Jade and Julie. What Jacqueline has shared here is pure gold. So many women, if not most, will put other people before themselves. If it is not their children it will be their husband or partner, parents or friends, or even a neighbour in need before they will stop and take care of themselves. Women are masters of running themselves into the ground, and the irony is that when they then get sick they need looking after…and its often by another woman. Jacquelines blog is inspirational as a way to prevent this ever increasing health problem.
It is such an important message that needs to be heard and understood that no-one benefits when we put others needs ahead of own our. We are not able to be there for the ones that we love when we manifest illness and injury nor are we able to share the love that we are.
I agree Julie every women should read this, it is also great for men too not just to understand breast cancer but also because it relates to all forms of illness and disease. We can either embrace it and the healing it offers us or fight against it and try to beat it.
I agree James, for if a woman in a man’s life has breast cancer this is presenting a stop for the whole family, immediate and extensive, and is a potential healing for all.
Indeed Kathleen, it is not something the women should have to deal with alone or feel ashamed of in anyway. It is often the family members who need support because of not fully understanding what is going on. When looked at as a whole, as you say, it presents a stop moment for the whole family to re-assess how they have been living up to that point.
Jacqueline, I found your description of your unfolding through your experience of breast cancer very clear and real and will be a very useful resource for all women to read.
The Esoteric Women’s Health program has supported me to feel how I have rejected myself as a woman. Even as I write this now, my mind wants to reject this concept and say ‘of course I haven’t, what are you talking about?’ and yet, I have. I did so as I was growing up, choosing distraction, hardness, seeking to know instead of allowing the tender, innocence of who I was as a girl to be with me as I blossomed into a woman. Reconnecting with that now in my body on a daily basis replaces all of that striving and I realize that I really am content with a simple life without all the excitement, rewards, stimulation and distraction that used to be what I sought out every day.
The prevention of illness is something I am deeply inspired by and committed to.
Not that it is always possible as you beautifully describe Jacqueline, because of the evolution that it offers us. But even in that, when we take responsibility for how we are living, I have seen that illness can in fact be a divine process.
Jacqueline this is groundbreaking I want to share it with every women around the would, we have certainly been chasing our tail with the amount of time and money spent on cancer research. Your blog is better then a thousand research papers as it is your very own lived experience.
I would hate telling people what to do, but this is a must-read for all women. Living a seemingly healthy life with a successful career, how many of us would consider to stop and take a moment of grave honesty? I certainly didn’t think I had ever abused my body, but we often have no idea what abuse really is. Thanks to Serge Benhayon, I now know abuse to be everything that is not of love, and to know that I had to come to know what love truly was. Thank you, Jacqueline, what an incredible role model you are. You are here showing to the world there’s a life after cancer – a life that is built on true love and wisdom of your own lived authority.
This line needs to be on billboards, bumper stickers and posters so that we can begin to get this message and make some significant changes – ‘It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.’
“Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?” This is a powerful statement Jacqueline and I wholeheartedly can say “yes it is”. Before I had breast cancer my body offered me many signals for me to slow down. However, I had very little connection to my body so I wasn’t aware of the signals that were there staring me in the face and I didn’t listen to them. Finally with the diagnosis of breast cancer I did stop and realise that there were big changes that I needed to make.
Thanks Jacqueline for an inspiring and powerful blog. I can relate to pretty much every word you have written here with breast cancer being my ‘stop’ moment as well. But why wait for the stop, prevention is the key and every woman has the power in her hands to choose a life that is filled with self-nurturing and self-love. Rather than billions of dollars being spent on finding a cure, a small fraction of that money spent on supporting women to self-nurture as a prevention would see a change in the rising statistics of women being diagnosed with breast cancer.
Such an amazing sharing Jacqueline with many pearls of wisdom to deeply consider. What you share is so supportive and inspiring for all women to hear, that the way we are living and the choices we are making on a daily basis impacts our health and well being enormously. A beautifully powerful blog that invites a deeper level of self-responsibility – thank you.
This is beautiful Jacqueline, ‘Too late for prevention, nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing,’ we have to get so much support initially to be able to surrender. It is easy to be defensive and see taking responsibility as accusation and guilt. There is no need to more self abuse, the self love is a golden key.
So from this blog l feel the question l need to ask of myself through all my choices is..”Am l honouring my body here and now? “
This is such an amazingly honest and “normal” shattering story you have shared with us Jacqueline, and for me these words are top of the “normal” shattering list: “It is self-abuse, when we take care of everyone before ourselves – it is self- neglect and self-sabotage on a grand scale.” Yet this is what we have been taught, especially as women, to do and it is the root cause of why we as women find ourselves suffering from stress, lack of vitality through to extreme exhaustion, illnesses and in some cases life threatening diseases. To let go of the guilt of placing ourselves first in the queue for love and care and developing more nurturing ways of caring for the beautiful beings we are, will not only begin to improve the state of our health and well being, but of those around us, as living a more vital and joyful life the care we are able to give to others will be of a much more loving and healing quality. Now this is the new normal that the world needs to be presented with!
Jacqueline, what you have shared here is, without a doubt, life changing. Thank you for sharing so directly and so honestly the wisdom that you have connected to through your experience of breast cancer. For me your blog was a wake-up call, a very loud reminder that while “Rejecting, Abusing, Harming And Bashing Our Bodies” has become normalised in society, it is most definitely not ok, in fact not only does it take a huge toll on our emotional health, it has a massive impact on our physical health. It’s time we expanded on our health warnings – rather than the standard (and obvious) “every cigarette is doing you damage” “, what if we also were told “every critical thought is doing you damage” or “putting everyone before your self will lead to immense exhaustion, dissatisfaction with life and may result in illness and disease”?
True Hannah Flanagan, its time we shake up normal and show the world the true deterioration of the benchmark we call health.
I love the total honouring of the physical body and its profound wisdom, which returns us to our natural state of true self love, that I feel emanating so powerfully from this blog. The lack of self love and deep nurturing of ourselves is so far gone in our society ( as confirmed by the breast cancer statistics) and women globally are so completely duped by the myth of doing and competing with men for equality …it is surely time for us all to reject this madness and return to our natural and innate womanly ways of holding ourselves as so, so precious, delicate and tender with our bodies. Body wisdom – our way forward, I feel.
Placing others before yourself is abuse …..let’s make that the front page article in all women’s magazines across the world for just one day and observe what happens.
Wow! I was moved by your profound sharing on so many levels, Jaqueline, not only because it such an amazingly honest and ground breaking view of breast cancer, but also because of the tangible quality of cherishing and deep honouring you now have for your physical body and share with us all. This is exquisite and a great gift to women everywhere that you are offering and I am in both appreciation and awe of what you have written here. Heartfelt thanks, Jacqueline x
Allowing ourselves to be aware of the quality of our past choices and of their consequences is key for each of us, and where those choices haven’t been loving to accept them with no self-judgment or bashing just a willingness to make a change going forwards.
Jacqueline, this is such an amazing blog, one for us all as women. When you talk of how we reject our bodies and live that, it shocked me to realise how true that is and how much I’ve lived that and it’s considered normal and it’s not, so of course our body breaks down to show us how we’ve lived. And when it does we have another choice to continue going as we do and be the victim or as you’ve done, to stop, and feel where we are and that our choices have brought us to this point and now we have another choice – to be more honest with us and truly care for us and your lived experience very much shows it’s possible – thank you.
“I learned that my life and my health were a reflection of all my past choices. With embracing this simple, yet powerful truth, there was no space for feeling a victim of life, there was no space to blame anyone, thus another space opened up for me, the space to surrender…” As you say Jacqueline there are no victims of illness or bad luck, but an opportunity to live the true empowerment of self responsibility and clear the body of these ill patterns.
‘It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.’ This is a massive gift you’ve shared here – applicable equally to men and women. You give us the early warning signs we can heed in ourselves – the self-neglect and self-sabotage that are the precursors of self-abuse. Your own hindsights and observations of what is still there for us to learn if and when we do get a ‘stop’ moment for clearing exhibit the role true grace and acceptance can play in the healing process.
“Taking Care Of All Others Before Ourselves Is ‘what we need to change’.” I spoke with some school children recently and one of the little girls told me she had received the “kindness trophy”, when i enquired she said it was an award for showing kindness towards other children in the school. Kindness to others is well rewarded but would we ever receive a trophy for being kind to ourselves?!! For this is what will truly inspire.
Prevention is better than a cure is often touted as the reason for us to donate money to a charity for such things as breast cancer research but what you share Jacqueline is something that really is the answer to all our illness and diseases. Esoteric Women’s Health got me to put myself under the microscope and have a deep look at how I have been living as a woman. I most definitely had been rejecting my body, choosing to be anywhere else but in it. Today with the support of Esoteric Women’s Health programs I have been able to feel, be honest and claim back the divine, joyful & graceful woman I am.
A valuable contribution Jacqueline. There are so many women who could learn so much from reading your personal experience you have shared here. Thank you so much for sharing.
Wow this is incredible Jacqueline. I have never heard someone who has had cancer in the past speak with such clarity as to what brought them the disease, and how they changed their life after well and truly seeing the ‘STOP’ sign. Describing breast cancer as a catalyst is a pretty massive statement, but one I consider very true. Cancer or serious illnesses amplify our choices and they are reflected to us in the highest resolution of HD possible – there is almost no way to avoid what’s on offer, and this choice to CHANGE the way we live can be quite incredible.
Susie, I to found Jacqueline’s clarity very profound. It gave me clarity to not only look at breast cancer but that all illnesses and diseases are brought about by my/our choices.
I certainly agree that illness and disease are part of our evolution if we choose to see them as the end result of ignoring more subtle hints our bodies have been giving us about our lifestyle choices. It only makes sense if we empower ourselves by admitting that we are super sensitive and can tune in to our bodies and listen to the subtlest of those hints, a slight ache, tension or racy disconnected feeling. Then we can modify our behaviour in the most accordingly subtle of ways and live life to the largest – In our full glory.
Yes I agree Heather this blog needs to made available to all women facing a breast cancer diagnosis. I have worked with women with breast cancer and one of the behaviours they all have in common is that they put others before them self and they struggle to self-nurture as they do not feel deserving to nurture and care for themselves. Lack of self-nurturing is the under lying cause of breast cancer, imagine if women the world over learnt to self nurture, breast cancer cases would significantly drop.
Thank you so much Jacqueline, there is much wisdom shared here – in the equality that we can all live from this wisdom. I particularly loved this quote: ‘It is the greatest downfall for every human being when we reject our body, for we also reject our wisdom and we reject the intelligence that our wise bodies can provide when we appreciate, respect and deeply nourish and care for our physical vehicle.’ Every little put-down we make to our bodies enforces this rejection, and thus separation from ourselves. The further we are from this connection, the further we are from making true choices to support ourselves, and thus the cycle of abuse is allowed to continue.
Yes – every little put down does cement in that body rejection more and more deeply, Amelia, and this includes the subtle put downs – the slightest flicker of judgment in our eyes when we see ourselves or others, the holding of a posture that is less than fully honouring of oneself, the overriding of a physical need ( like the need to go to the bathroom) …..there are so many ‘little’ put downs of which to remain aware on a daily basis that each contribute to the rejection of our physical body. I find I need to be so aware and adjust whenever I am ‘off’ or all these little putdowns add, very quickly, up to a big put down.
‘Too late for prevention, nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing, healing and learning that was on offer, to accept what I had created, to accept that change was inevitable, to accept support and to continue to develop this new way of self-nurturing and honest living with myself’. This is VERY honest Jacqueline. And this IS what we are faced with when we are confronted with illness and disease. We can carry on in self-abuse or STOP as you say and surrender. There are so many opportunities to heal destructive patterns of behaviour and to finally accept support and not warrior on trying to do it all on our own, even if it is our choices that have got us there.
Having some health issues myself recently I have come to know that it is far more than just caring for my physical body that is looking after myself but also how I honour all that I am, how I express and live in full the truth of who I am for all to see and know. How willing I am to live the true and powerful woman that I am? I lived so well the deep self nurturing of myself as the world knows that to be but now have been asked to live the truth of who I am beyond just this physical body.
Very powerful Penelope, thank you.
Thank you, Jacqueline, I too can attest to the truth of your words from my own experience. By taking responsibility for what happens in my body I also discovered that I have the wisdom within from my inner-heart and soul to change and let go of old behaviours, beliefs and ideals and so the healing can begin – all so simple when we understand this.
Thank you Jacqueline for presenting and sharing hourself in this way- which offers women an opportunity to stop their ill daily choices which can lead to breast cancer – it truly is about working together to not have to repeat something for a lesson that another can share… At the same time a big ouch; as I felt my choices that I have made yesterday and around Uni exam time- going into hardness, investment and stress all leading to self-abuse, instead of self-honouring. It is true to ask ourselves, what will it take for us to change?
Jacqueline, It is inspiring to read the way you fully embraced the opportunity for true healing that your breast cancer presented. It is empowering to know that we play an integral part in our healing overall with the choices we make every single day. It is the quality of surrender to truly loving and caring for ourselves that supports our bodies in every way.
“Could it be possible that illness and disease are part of our evolution because of the ‘stop’ it brings us and the clearing it offers; the clearing of everything that holds us back from being who we truly are?” Jacqueline this question posed here really brings back to me how much love and responsibility for ourselves is a choice to either choose self love or self loath. When we love and care for ourselves deeply a real understanding of what we need comes from within and this is something that is becoming very clear to me. Thank you for sharing this inspiring blog.
Thank you for your blog and you offering us all a moment to stop and feel how are we living today. I have had a health stop moment in the past but upon reading this, I realise how easy it is to fall back into old patterns which in many ways are abusive not only to myself but to others too.
This is a powerful line Jacqueline – ‘I learned that my life and my health were a reflection of all my past choices.’ When I embraced this fact, my life changed because I decided to take hold of the reigns to my life. The word ‘choice’ is simple and yet I now understand that I have choices in every waking moment. This knowing comes with responsibility, but is also so very empowering to feel you are totally in charge of all the choices you make.
Ah Jacqueline, so much of what you say touches me deeply. Even though I have not had any cancer I can see how the way I have chosen to live in the past and sometimes still do, is harming to my body. The following line means so much to me – ‘We take a huge step in our evolution when we stop rejecting self.’ We get so used to rejecting and abusing our bodies that it becomes our normal way of being. Sometimes for us to listen it takes a big stop, like an illness or serious incident, before we are honest about what harm we are doing to ourselves. Reading your blog has made me realise I have been in overdrive this week and really need to stop.
Well said Debra, this blog helps so many of us, breast cancer diagnosis or not. The opportunity to not reject but embrace, nurture even celebrate ourselves and self care are keys to stopping the illness and disease from needed to make us stop.
Honest and powerful Jacqueline. It’ so commonplace — perceived as ‘normal’ — as you say, to reject our bodies, to dismiss them, abuse them, and it’s completely crazy. In rejecting our bodies, we reject ourselves. We become mere puppets to existence going for the next pick me up fix, from high to low and more abuse. Emotional emptiness and pain comes from this dismissal of our bodies.
Thank you Jacqueline, for sharing your honest enquiry, the enquiry our bodies long for us to make, asking us through illness and disease to stop and start to consider why. So many take the view that to contract disease is an ill fated blow of ‘bad luck’. To miss the greatest of all healing made possible with the choice to listen to the wisdom inherent within us, is to miss the greatest opportunity of all.
There are so many great snippets in this blog, and its power and honesty is breathtaking. It should be made available to the hundreds of thousands of women facing a breast cancer diagnosis. The ability to own that personal choices contribute to our ill health, without an ounce of blame or shame is an offering for the world that will change how we see ill health. Magnificent blog thank you Jacqueline.
I agree Heather, Jacqueline’s straightforward and no nonsense owning without a doubt that it was her and her choices that were responsible for her breast cancer is both powerful, refreshing and trail blazing. This is a story of empowerment for all women.
Another very powerful and to the point blog from you, Jacqueline. ‘We take a huge step in our evolution when we stop rejecting self; when we stop rejecting our body and the love that we were born with and all are.’ Yes, connecting to the love that I am, is connecting to the body and accepting that I am that and can choose this 24/7.
It is great to be able to feel and see that illness happens due to how we have been living and the loveless choices we have made ourselves. It brings the responsibility back to us.
Wow, another absolute must read for all women. Jacqueline, thank you for bringing truth and sharing so openly your experience with breast cancer. You should be presenting for large groups of women and share your story in the media.
You are so right Mariette; this is an “absolute must read for all women”, especially for very young women who may not have yet developed self harming behaviours. Reading this beautifully honest blog will offer them the wisdom that the quality of the life ahead of them will be created by their choices, so why not make those choices self loving ones.
What you are saying Jacqueline needs to be heard by all women because the way you were living is common to just about every woman today. Coming through the learning that cancer offered you and making other choices makes your voice particularly powerful when speaking about embracing the wisdom our bodies offer us when we live a self-loving life.
Many need to learn about the wisdom of our bodies, and the true support we can provide them. Having lived treatment of illness and disease, Jacqueline has much authority and wisdom to share here.
I love re-reading your blog Jacqueline as it reminds me so much of the importance it is to really take care of our body and deeply connect to being a woman, thank you.
Thank you for writing this incredible blog, I was reflecting the other day on my choice to smoke cigarettes in my teens to early twenties, I gave up when i pregnant with my first child, for the first time I felt immense sadness about that choice what i could feel was how far I stepped away from myself and as I have been reconnecting over the past few years there is much to celebrate and love.
For me this blog also brought home how much I disregard my body and don’t deeply love and cherish myself. There is a sadness to feel this and a good stop to consider and reconnect back to another way.
Yes MW, disregard and self-abuse can so easily become a normalised habit that we don’t even realise we are doing it, on a daily basis. Until a blog such as this comes along that makes it abundantly clear the devastating effects these thoughts and behaviours have on the body.
Hi Jacqueline. What is ‘Normal’ has been distorted and re-worked in our understanding, as have many other words. To Cherish, nurture, to be tender, to be loving – all fall into the same category, words with meanings that have been undermined and watered down. As a result of this, I find I am struggling to ‘make real’ in my life what these words look like in practice. There have been few role models, mentors or teachers, until Serge Benhayon started to introduce the concept of truly loving ourselves. Today I am slowly returning to the truth of what it means to truly love myself, choosing to put me first and to be tender with myself – something very new in practice although very old if I was to check in and ask my body. Thanks for bring a well needed reality check; illness and dis-ease are powerful teachers.
That’s a great point, ch1956, that we need the purity and truth of these words in their original meanings. For example, nurturing could be seen by some to indicate pampering or indulging in food, when in fact, nurturing is an energetic quality that comes from within us and impulses us as to what is precisely nurturing for us at any one time. We definitely need words returned to their absolute purity and truth.
So very true Coleen. With many words being bastardised in the world we can be sure we will see self love and nurture get bastardised also. As you say we need the words in there absolute purity and truth. Nurturing can vary from person to person and from moment to moment. Establishing a strong foundation and rhythm supports knowing what is needed in each moment.
“Too late for prevention, nothing left to do but ‘surrender’ to the clearing, healing and learning that was on offer, to accept what I had created, to accept that change was inevitable, to accept support and to continue to develop this new way of self-nurturing and honest living with myself.” This paragraph could apply to so many situations where we find ourselves in a pickle or struggling with something we cannot control. Thank you for sharing your story Jacqueline, the wisdom that comes from your lived experience is tangible.
Thanks for bringing my attention to that awesome paragraph Leone – such power and wisdom in these words and I totally agree, they can be applied to so many situations.
An absolutely amazing paragraph that as you share Leonne and Hannah could apply to so many situations in life. Accepting and surrendering to the choices we have made and beginning to take true responsibility for the way we are choosing to live is a powerful place to come to and one that offers us the opportunity to begin a new more loving relationship with self. A brilliant article that offers so much.
This paragraph called my attention as well and spoke very clearly to me as this is how I feel with “nothing left to do but surrender” to the body as my vehicle of divine expression. Very beautiful!
Thankyou for your honest sharing, Jacqueline. This is such a powerful blog for all women. Our body is with us throughout life. How is it we go into such disregard? Viewing cancer as a clearing, a healing, a blessing is so contrary to the normal viewpoint, but it is so. Deep appreciation to you and to all Universal Medicine practitioners who have shown us that there is another way to live.
I so agree sueq2012 what Jacqueline shares is an alternate view to breast cancer seeing it is an opportunity for clearing and healing and beginning to develop a new relationship with self, one based on self-responsibility, love and true nurturing.
This is for me a Great And very clear Blog about honouring the Wisdom Of our body And the possible implications if We don’t . Thanks Jackeline for sharing your inner knowing And Experience !
Yes this was a great reminder and wake up for me too as I have been relying on a diet high in sugar to get me through and knowing that there would be a price to pay for this but still finding it hard to break that pattern.
There are so many of us that relate to this blog, how worrying is that when we are just a small percentage of the women in the world and the statistics for breast cancer are so high. We need to learn from this and make changes that are then part of the way we live.
Jacqueline, you are on the other side of the world and yet this is my story. I will soon find out after surgery whether my lump is cancer or not … perhaps the only difference.
Anon, your comment made me stop and feel the grandness of this blogsite and how it goes around the world and offers its services wherever needed. How amazing is it that you are in a similar situation and have the opportunity to read Jacqueline’s empowering experience. I love this true sharing it is like living together and supporting each other.