A Woman’s True Beauty: The Strength in Fragility

Women – Are we living in a man’s world? We all know about boys having to be tough – “Boys don’t cry”, boys get given toys to confirm their future roles – trucks, footballs, fiction-hero’s, games of war….

We women may feel that we have to compete in this competitive male world, and many of us have tried to create an even playing field in our pursuit of equality for women – with the fight for the right to work, equal pay in the workforce, day-care for young children, female cricket and footy teams, promotions, baby bonuses and more. At the same time we have found ourselves often comparing with each other with regard to academic achievement, ideals of beauty, having more money or a successful career, being in relationships versus being single, and having kids.

Have we lost the precious qualities of true beauty and fragility in this battle for equality and respect?

Many women now find themselves living in overwhelm, anxiousness and exhaustion in trying to live up to a multi-tasking ideal – the super-woman living with the ideals and rules set up in the workplace, in education, and at home, that keep them racy, nervous and on edge. Women have had to toughen up in order to keep up with all of these roles, both in the workplace and at home. Workers, wives, mothers, daughters, friends, housekeepers, cooks, are some of the roles we play, all the while keeping up appearances for our partners, work colleagues and employers, and at the same time comparing ourselves to other women.

There are many ways of dealing with comparison, anxiety and feelings of a lack of self worth such as resorting to botox and cosmetic surgery to stay young and keep a job, or slogging away at the gym to stay fit. Mothers can sacrifice themselves in the belief that this is the “right” thing to do, and as wives, override their exhaustion to please their husbands. Many of us have used, or are using, caffeine, sugar and alcohol just to get through the day.

The Strength in Fragility 

If we stop for a moment to feel what is really going on for us, allow ourselves to feel the tiredness in the body, and the anxiousness upon waking each morning, would this enable us to feel our fragility? When we allow ourselves to feel how we actually feel we can respond to ourselves in a more honest way, rather than reaching for another cup of coffee to pep us up during the day, or a glass of wine to dull us at the end of the day.

Have we been encouraged to believe that to be fragile is a weakness? What if there was nothing to prove to anyone?

We can take on such ideals and beliefs from childhood, and they can rob us of our worthiness and equality as adults if we are not clear about how we have been affected.

When we can re-learn to appreciate the true beauty of being the woman we are, not for an ideal, but to honour our fragility, there is true beauty to be found equally within all.

We then offer a reflection for other women whom we allow to see us for who we truly are.

If we as women could really get in touch with our fragility and allow ourselves to be more honest and share what is really going on for us, and how we are truly feeling about ourselves, our bodies, and our lives, would that mean we could have more meaningful relationships with other women, without the gossip, and comparison – relationships that we could all grow from?

How safe, supportive, privileged, and amazing it would be to know and enjoy other women without all the baggage of comparison and jealousy – as all women are innately beautiful.

Is True Beauty to be found in women honouring their Strength in Fragility – opening up and telling it how it is?

Could women reclaiming their true beauty and honouring their strength in fragility be the new black?

Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

by Bernadette Curtin, Artist, Art Mentor and Writer, Byron Bay, Australia

You may also enjoy:

Being a Woman in Society Today – Our Role and Our True Purpose  What happens if we stop and consider whether we live in a way that supports the natural vulnerability and fragility we carry as women?

The beauty of loving women. Women loving and honouring women is a lost art – be reminded how glorious it is.

Is true beauty really in the eye of the beholder? How do we get to know ourselves beyond the narrow confines of fashionable beauty and its fickleness?

729 thoughts on “A Woman’s True Beauty: The Strength in Fragility

  1. Thanks Bernadette, we seem to avoid being real at all costs, and I guess that is because not having problems and coping or ‘doing well’ is part of the comparison game and the false worth we have set up for ourselves. But it is actually enriching to be real, to have a cry if that’s what is needed, to share how we feel, to drop the mask and just be ourselves. In those real moments it’s enriching because we have ourselves, and it’s natural for us to share from that a true connection, and most people actually really respond to it. Keeping up appearances is exhausting.

  2. It seems we fall into a default of comparison and jealousy without actually noticing we do it, yet that is constantly making ourselves less than another, raging at ourselves for the choices we have made and then projecting that rage onto another and conspiring with another to make the other person less. Being more aware of the pattern can offer an opportunity to be more conscious of where and when we do it and see if there is a reflection from another that we can see as an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.

  3. If want true success then appreciation and acceptance has to be our way, the more we appreciate the more we understand that God’s love is a tap that never ever turns off.

  4. “How safe, supportive, privileged, and amazing it would be to know and enjoy other women without all the baggage of comparison and jealousy – as all women are innately beautiful.” Beautifully expressed – and it’s there for us all to live.

      1. Agreed and perhaps we should be aware that this comes through in the older years too – this time comparison about mobility, skin quality even appropriateness of behaviour. No matter the age, if we are bitter about own choices we have the potential to spew that out onto another in the form of comparison and jealousy.

  5. As women, the support we can give each other can be phenomenal by simply being there for each other, not actually doing anything but accepting each other for whatever is happening around us.

  6. If I try to be something I am not by listening and following an ideal I end up with disappointment and a lack of acceptance for who I am and what is truly going on within my body. There are areas in my life where I am constantly being offered to bring more of me. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone but simply accept all of me in each moment in my unfolding and that includes the quality of fragility.

  7. “Have we lost the precious qualities of true beauty and fragility in this battle for equality and respect?” I would say yes, and for most of my life I had very little notion of what these two words meant, fragility to me was a weakness, and beauty was something that everyone else had but not me, so to ignore and dismiss these two precious qualities I had to harden and become tough. It is only now that I can truly say I have started to embrace these qualities and started to honour myself as a woman and as a result my life is changing almost on a daily basis.

  8. ‘When we allow ourselves to feel how we actually feel we can respond to ourselves in a more honest way’ … and that’s our starting point, being honest and letting ourselves feel how we are and what is going on for us, and allowing ourselves to feel that without judgement or an ideal of how it should or shouldn’t be, and with this we build the foundation of our relationship with ourselves.

  9. What stood out for me in was the statement what do we have to prove as women? If I do things from a lack of self worth I am in a movement of seeking approval, not knowing that I am more than enough just as I am.

  10. Fragility is undervalued because, as you say, we see it as a sign of weakness. Yet when we get sick we are forced into fragility and it is only then that we open up to the support that is around us and allow others to support us. Perhaps from that place of vulnerability we can embrace it and discover what it might be like to stay in that vulnerability by building a way of living that does not negate the little messages. It would then be a strength because we would be more aware of the conversations our body has with us.

  11. I like the idea of feeling the tiredness, aching body, super sensitive and anything that we think is less than being ‘strong’. In the honesty there is a reckoning and a realness that is far more touching than not being this for the sake of being accepted outside of yourself.

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