by Cherise Holt, Nurse, Brisbane
It may sound easy to compile a list of the many common activities or regimes one could do to nurture themselves. Men and women can incorporate many self-care activities into their lives that bring relaxation or reward to their day, ticking the self-nurturing box by spending the time or money on self, finding the time away from the stresses of work or busy family life.
But by ‘doing’ the activities and ticking the self-care and self-loving boxes are we really developing our OWN natural way of nurturing ourselves?
Our bodies know more about what we are feeling and what it means to be truly nurturing than we have acknowledged them for. When we begin to reconnect to ourselves and our natural way of being we become more certain of what is right for us, in any moment. Anyone can run a warm bath as a nurturing act for self, but if it is not what you truly feel to do in that moment is it of any true support to you, your body and to your well-being?
by Sarah Cloutier, Animation Producer, London, UK
“Expectation is the root of all heartache” – William Shakespeare
Wise words Will Shakespeare.
I realise I have been nurturing my expectations.
Not at all what I had expected to reveal while I am being more nurturing to myself with many other loving actions and thoughts. I am writing every day in the Our Cycles App about the small nurturing moments in my day: this could be talking with a friend, walking gently to the tube, smiling just for myself, allowing myself to make mistakes, being silly, dancing with myself, taking time to lay out my clothes before my shower or bath, not comparing myself to other women … a long list that grows every day! The loving ritual of writing down these loving actions means I can now see when I love myself even more: what is not love is even more obvious.
I have been using constant energy that has been invested in outcomes, from conversations, meetings, friends, acquaintances, people on the tube – everyone! I expect a certain type of response from people and I am then disappointed when they don’t come through. I expect colleagues at work to respond the way they did yesterday and when they don’t, I feel let down. I expect the young guy on the tube to get up and let me sit down on the way home from work, but when he doesn’t, I feel let down. I expect the person on the checkout to be friendly and when they are not, I feel disappointed. I’m also realising that when I see someone gloomy, I try to make them feel ‘better’ – to make them see they don’t have to be gloomy! I impose my expectations then I don’t understand when they don’t ‘get it’. Continue reading “Our Cycles App – Period and Full Moon Diary – Tracking My Expectations”
by Emily Billsborough, Wollongbar, Australia
Over the past couple of months I have been developing my relationship with nurturing and what nurturing truly means to me in my life. Each moment is full of different interactions between people, environments and situations. We could put this all down to being part of daily life.
I began to ask myself what happens to me in these moments (daily life) when something that I don’t like occurs, or if I react to my partner, family member, friend, colleague, a stressful situation at work, home, at the shopping centre etc.?
- Do I feel stressed, angry, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated? Or do I still feel like my amazing, lovely and beautiful self?
- Do I ever stop throughout the day to feel what is happening and how I feel when experiencing all of these different feelings, activities, relationships and situations?
How do I cope with what has happened if I have had a ‘bad’ day? Continue reading “Deepening Self Nurturing – Developing Connection with Me”
by Adrienne Ryan, Brisbane, Australia
I went to a presentation for women today hosted by Jenny Ellis and Mary Louise Myers from Universal Medicine. What was shared there about ‘True Nurturing’ inspired me deeply…
Nurturing is something I had begun to invest in by taking time to be attentive to what was needed to support me throughout my day. Before this, I can see how my way of life was designed to waste no time: a 2 minute shower, 5 minute dressed and ready to go, multi-task my way through many things at once, not wasting time painting my nails or spending too much time on my hair or paying too much attention to what to wear on an ‘ordinary’ day, and so on. In all this speedy efficiency there was no quality time, no space for just enjoying being with me – it was all about ‘moving on’, ‘getting things done’, ‘not holding other people up’, or ‘not taking up too much of their time or space’ and certainly not indulging in any perceived self-absorbed frivolous-ness or girlie-ness – these were just big unnecessary, indulgent, time wasters.
But today things are different. I have come to love making time to take my time getting ready for the day, tenderly and lovingly looking after myself, enjoying putting on makeup and clothes that highlight (not hide) my beauty and womanliness. I make time to take my time now, and because I do I get to enjoy the feeling of me – the loveliness that is within me – and I notice that I don’t want to brush this off, dismiss, diminish, play it down, reject or deny my innate preciousness anymore. Instead I want to honour it, embrace it and confirm the truth of it: I am worth TIME.
Today at the Brisbane Women’s Presentation I discovered Continue reading “True Nurturing – The Way I Return to Me”
by Alison Moir, UK
When I first heard the word Nurturing in the Esoteric Developers Women’s Group I just thought it was another word for me to bring into my daily living but I have come to realise it is so much more than this. As I have brought this word into my every day living I have begun to feel a stronger connection with myself as a Woman. Nurturing brings out a gentleness in me that I have kept hidden from the world. As I learn to listen to my body and live from this deeper connection with myself,. I can see I have only just begun to scratch the surface of the word Nurturing and the gentle beauty it is bringing out in me.
With the above in mind, at the recent Esoteric Developers Women’s Group meeting in London, when Sara Williams opened the meeting by saying there were 2 key areas that we have been discussing over the last 3 months – they were Cycles and Nurturing and that we would be talking about Nurturing today, I have to admit there was an audible “Oh no not again” from me.
This wasn’t because I didn’t want to talk about Nurturing, but, since the last meeting I had become more aware of how little I truly nurture, and there was still a resistance in me, in wanting to look deeper and to accept and embrace nurturing and the gentleness it was bringing into my every day living. There was a part of me that wanted to hold onto my old ways.
This was because:- Continue reading “Nurturing -Taking a More Honest Look”
by Kate Greenaway, Australia
The names in this real life story are not real, but the events and sharing of the challenges and learning along the way are very real. Christina is a 44 year old woman, she is married to Tom who is 46 years old and her partner of some 19 years. They have a 15 year old son, Will.
At 2 years old, Will was diagnosed by a team of Medical Specialists as having moderate Autism with a severe ‘Global Delay’. Global Delay means that Will is significantly delayed in all aspects of communication and development. This affects his behaviour and interaction with himself, his parents and all that come into contact with him. He requires constant supervision including self care, behaviour development, safety awareness and setting appropriate boundaries, including how to interact and communicate with people generally.
When Will was 18 months old, Christina was aware there was something ‘not right’ with him; when she was told of his condition she thought “Why me, why am I being punished in this way? Haven’t I already suffered enough?”. Amazingly, she let this go pretty quickly as she and Tom realised that Will was a blessing, not a burden or punishment. Continue reading “Motherhood and Autism – Celebrating A Nurturing Woman”
by Beverley Brown, UK
It was a usual Monday morning and I was getting ready for the day. I noticed I felt a little off as I had my period and it was a little uncomfortable, so this I gently pondered on.
I proceeded to shower, gently washing and drying myself, as part of my morning ritual. I then put on my underwear, which I had felt to warm on the radiator beforehand. This felt amazing and a very loving and nurturing thing to do.
Then came the make-up and hair. I usually stand in the bathroom (the light is better here) for the make-up, or in front of a long mirror at the top of the stairs where the hairdryer, brush and product station is.
Today, due to achy legs and a mild ache in my uterus, I felt to see what it would be like to sit down whilst doing both these tasks. Continue reading “Today I Sat Down – Nurturing Myself as a Woman”
by Dr Danielle Pirera, 32, Goonellabah
I have always understood ‘nurturing’ to be something very lovely and honouring that I do with myself – like having a bath with my favorite essential oils… or a bubble bath and maybe some candles and plenty of space and time to be with myself in a lovely and relaxed way, enjoying the warmth of the water around me.
Recently I went to an Esoteric Women’s Health (EWH) event presented by Natalie Benhayon: it was an inspiring presentation about Nurturing and being aware of the cycles and rhythms in one’s body. Natalie introduced something that I have never before truly heard or understood, even though it may have in the past been mentioned many times: that sometimes a bath with your favourite oils, bubbles or settings etc., may not actually be nurturing. Continue reading “Nurturing According to My Body’s Rhythm”
by Toni Steenson, Coraki, Australia
I recently attended a group presentation for women (and men if they chose to come), where many things were discussed, but one thing I found really potent was; what it means to deeply nurture oneself, and how this may look.
I had heard of the idea of nurturing oneself before, and then basically I had created a list from past experiences of things that were nurturing e.g. having a bath, going to bed early, preparing a loving meal, taking time to get ready for my day, doing my hair or nails, watching a movie etc. Where I had gone wrong with this was: I saw times when I needed to deeply nurture myself because I had a bad day and required some support to come back to myself, or alternatively if I had had a brilliant day and wanted to do something nurturing to confirm this feeling. When I had felt these times arise, I would have gone to the mental list I had created in my head and just performed one of these activities without really feeling if that was what would support me in the confirming / coming back to me process. And if I had not felt like doing anything on my so-called ‘self-nurturing’ list, I would almost berate myself for not caring or wanting to support myself. Continue reading “Nurturing – What it Really Means”
by Alison Moir, UK
I have been attending Esoteric Developers Women’s Group over the last couple of years; this has been so supportive. It has been amazing to see how everyone attending has expanded their awareness of what it means to be a woman.
From a young age I never really accepted myself as a woman, partly because as a teenager I never got tall, my breasts never really grew and I didn’t look like the other girls at school, so I brushed aside the fact that I was a woman and avoided womanly things. Buying dresses was always a problem, as I couldn’t fill them in all the right places.
So at a recent meeting when we began to discuss nurturing, what it meant to us as women, and how we could bring it into our lives, I must admit I wobbled a bit – did I really know what it meant to nurture as a woman? Continue reading “Building Nurturing into our Daily Lives”