Sixty (four), sassy & sexy (last one took a while)

I was born a woman, yet I had no idea what it truly meant to be a woman.  

I never even questioned it.  

Honouring myself was not ever considered, and with no reflection in my life from the family or school friends that there could be another way to be and live, I merrily walked a path of general disregard.  

As far as I was concerned, words like precious, tender, delicate and cherishing were for women who were weak and lacked drive. 

In fact, what was reflected to me was the opposite: that having drive and pushing my body was the acceptable norm. The hardness in my body was palpable and showed in everything I did. 

Through Universal Medicine I started to really consider and become more aware of my body. I could actually feel the things I was doing that were causing me pain. A lot of physical work with horses, and caring more about horses than I did about myself, had a detrimental impact on my delicate and sensitive body.  

As things changed within me, and I took greater care of myself, I recognised that my relationship with the horses had to change.  

I had to stop putting horses before myself.  

The horses went to a retirement home and that gave me a moment to stop and feel what I was doing to my body and how unsupportive horses first, I second, was. This had a knock-on effect on everything that I did, as well as on all life’s chambers; my relationships, my work and my family. 

It was a progressive thing: the more I let go of the hardness, the more aware I became of how I was living and the effects this had in every part of my life. It gave me the space to be more caring of myself, and to start to let go of the hardness and protection that I had used to get through life.  

The change in me enabled me to come to an even bigger realization, which is that over the years, and I mean thousands of years, we women have lost our way with regard to knowing who we are and what it actually means to be a woman.  

I registered how much we have let go of the principles and innate understanding of our true purpose in life. This purpose has always been about honouring our deep knowing of life in every way, living this innate knowing with understanding and respect for everything around us.  

Women also knew what the word Sacredness meant: a level of standard in every area of their lives that were commanded by the purity of their bodies, an inborn knowing from which they would live their lives and hold themselves in, unreservedly, unapologetically and unwaveringly so. They had an innate knowing of what was true for them. 

This is a far cry from how many women live today; dishonouring their body, pushing it to extremes and not listening to the messages that are naturally within. Qualities such as being fragile, sensitive, gentle, caring and loving, that should be our norm, are sadly not so frequently exhibited. Instead… 

  • we have made the ‘to-do list’ more important than how we treasure and look after our bodies. 
  • we care for everyone around us, but can be in total disregard to our body and to the detriment of our own health and wellbeing.  
  • we are all too accepting of what we know is not true, and rather than going within, we try to figure out who we are by looking outside ourselves through books or magazines, TV, social media and a whole myriad of advertising and external sources.  

We have moved so far away from what we are meant to be reflecting to the world – a woman in her livingness is a woman who lives from her inner heart, knows what is true for her and does not compromise her body or her health to please others. A woman living in this way inspires both men and women that there is a way to be that is loving, caring and true to oneself.  

When a woman is in her livingness, in other words, living who she truly is, there is a beauty, radiance and acceptance, that can’t be bought or shown to us by any media publication. It is something that is felt deep within and awakes every cell in another womanly body that says you too know this, you have this in you too.  

Accepting myself as a woman and learning what this means, has been a long journey and is a constant learning. It never stops because there is always another level to learn about myself, to connect more deeply to my innate tenderness and fragility and to re-learn to live from who I truly am: a delicate and precious woman which allows others to feel this too. 

There is true power, wisdom and purpose when we connect to our qualities and commit to making these the foundation for how we live in every moment of our day. 

Alison Valentine: a woman in her livingness

By Alison Valentine, UK; A super caring woman with a cheeky smile and a radar for truth, a wanna be Aston Martin driver on a shoe string budget and a countryside connoisseur of nature with the sky and the stars deeply in her heart.

For further inspiration… 

If you are rarely satisfied with how you look, you are one of many. But one woman shares her account on reversing that trend.

What happens when you meet a true female role model & you learn how amazing it is to return to the woman you always knew you were..

28 thoughts on “Sixty (four), sassy & sexy (last one took a while)

  1. It is great that although we hadn’t had any role models about true femaleness, we all women have this truth pulsing within us until we allow ourselves to explore and express it. Then we flourish as you do, Alison and what a beautiful reflection this is for others.

  2. When we make a to-do list and focus on the tasks rather than the quality, the body almost instantly has to harden to make itself ‘get through the list’…. whereas on those days when I have been able to hold a connection, the list is there and much of it gets worked through (sometimes so much more, and other times less, but always prioritised without much effort) and at the end of the day there is not this fatigue or sense of heaviness or hardness in the body.

  3. So often I can get lost in my ‘to-do’ list and push myself to complete things rather than trusting in the body and its rhythm. The head takes over and then the body has to live the consequences (which often are not pretty). And so it is about breaking this as a habit, which comes first from connecting to the body and listen to that equally as much as the head and never lettting the body be compromised by what the head wants. A work in progress for me!

  4. Thank you Alison for your sharing – it is a common theme for us as women to become experts of care of others, but then not look after ourselves with the same level and priority. This is important to highlight and realise before we can actually begin to make a change.

  5. I love that you talk about the forever learning. The more I really embrace this principle, the more open I am to the learning and the richness of everyday. The photographs are gorgeous and I am definitely inspired by them… truly sassy, sexy, cute, sweet and beautiful.

    1. Spot on Matilda and Alison – there is a forever learning in life… we never cease to be a student of ourselves (truly connected) and life!

  6. If we can’t feel how beautiful we are it simply makes sense that we’ll strive to find a substitute any way we can. Great that you went back to the true cause of all this outward searching Alison.

    1. “If we can’t feel how beautiful we are it simply makes sense that we’ll strive to find a substitute any way we can” Joseph I love the simplicity and the truth of what you have shared. We are so incredibly beautiful and not only that but we are literally majestic in our true nature and yet we scourge around for burnt offerings of identity to fill in our perceived gaps.

  7. It feels as though I was seeded to be in comparison with men as it began at a very an early age – to drive myself and prove that I was equal. Of course, this was not true equality but an illusion to separate me from God and my Divinity. I loved reading your blog Alison and feeling the truly delicate and sensitive woman that you are – and a glorious reflection for everyone to feel.

    1. So many women strive to be equal to men because we see that they hold the majority of positions of power in the world. That power is not only in the jobs that they do but the roles that they play in society, including the family. But the trouble is that the power that they process is not a true form of power and so in trying to match their power women are also going into a very false version of power. And so what we end up with is both men and women living corrupted versions of themselves.

  8. I grew up thinking that women were in almost every way less and inferior to men. With the inspiration of others I am rediscovering the amazing beauty, sacredness, delicateness and power of living as a woman who knows who she is.

    1. When I was young this was how life was for me, that men were better or had a better life, and so I set out to be different, but I did this from being less than, so there was a constant drive to prove myself and to be better than men, instead of coming from living as a woman and bringing those qualities to everything I did. It is wonderful to no longer have that drive and to be able to feel the equalness of men and women from my body, and not from anything I perceived or had an ideal about.

      1. “instead of coming from living as a woman and bringing those qualities to everything I did”. I love what you expressed here Alison, I know I have been in a constant drive to prove myself, not just with men.

    2. We’re all born knowing without question that we’re all the same and then we all get taught to focus on our differences and it doesn’t take very long at all before we’re all walking around not only focusing on our differences but reinforcing them with our behaviours and then passing them onto our own kids.

    3. Mary I grew up believing the same and that’s because the value that we place on ourselves and on others is based on what we’re able to do and what we’re able to contribute and not the depth of our beingness. If we measured our self worth and the worth of others on the depth of our beingness then we would feel very differently about what it is that men and women bring to the world and who we consider to be ‘ahead’.

      1. Well said Alexis – when we place our value on what we do rather than the quality of who we are and what we bring, then the focus becomes on the doing rather than the being. After all we are human beings and not human doings.

      2. When we put all our emphasis on what we’re able to achieve/do then we totally ignore the vast aspects of us that are multidimensional and whittle ourselves down to moving skin and bone and intellect but we exist on so many other planes of life than this earthly one.

    4. Thank you Mary. In a nutshell you have laid a path to turn around firmly set patterns and beliefs in our societies and cultures. And role models like Alison are just what is needed.

  9. Beautifully expressed Alison. Appreciated reading your blog, in fact it could have been a carbon copy of myself and my behaviours. Instead of horses I started building and renovating from 19 years and became more like a brickies labourer. Thank goodness I woke up a number of years ago and started to take care of my body.
    You not only look amazing but feel it too and can feel your super delicate and caring qualities.

    1. As I got older and sought out different jobs I thought the only way to get on in life was to compete with the men and not only show I could do what they did but be better than them….imagine how hard I would become to do this.

      1. Not only do we as women harden by competing with the guys but we also see our role as the ‘backbone of the family’ – the last one up at night, the one that’s organising everything, the one that does everything for the kids, the one that’s holding it all together, the one that will always eat the burnt sausage and give the well cooked snags to the family, basically a martyr and what a toll this way of living takes on the body and what an unhealthy reflection this offers to others, especially our girls.

    2. If only we were taught that the secret to life is that it’s a ‘back towards ourselves’ and not an ‘away from ourselves’ then life would be radically different.

    1. Thank you Bernadette, I know I have found age becomes irrelevant when we connect to our true purpose of what it is to be a woman. I feel younger and more vibrant now than I did at 45

    2. Our true purpose is to be who we truly are at every age. One seamless expression of God from birth to death and beyond. Living portals for the One God and nothing else. Yep sure I know I sound like a religious freak but I’m simply stating the facts here, it’s actually incredibly simple, no pomp, no ceremony, no rituals needed. We’re either streaming God or we’re not and that’s what life boils down to, it’s actually very black and white, it’s either the pure unadulterated consciousness of God or it’s not and there’s no in between

  10. Sassy and sexy for sure! And yes…sixty (four) and claiming it! You radiate the beauty of a woman who is living true to her sacredness, power, wisdom and purpose. Alison Valentine, delicate and precious and on fire – awakening my every cell. Wowza!

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