The Choice to Appreciate and Self-Nourish

I recently attended an Esoteric ‘Well-being for Women’ group. These groups run worldwide and are designed to support women to re-connect to what we know to be true and to live from this quality in everyday life. We discussed something that is often considered the ‘norm’: the thoughts we allow, that can become an inner conversation. 

Does this support or hinder us and why do we allow it?

At times I can hear words in my head that would have me believe I am lacking in some way. These words can be harsh, belittling and critical. If I were to hear a child talk about themselves in the same way, I would consider it untrue and completely unnecessary. If I hear a friend talk in this way, I gently remind them of all they are and all they bring to our world. I am learning to do this more and more with myself. It can be easy to concentrate on all that appears not enough, when in fact we are enough! We have everything we need with us in every moment.

Denying ourselves and our magnificence serves no purpose.

At times I choose to connect to my innate knowing and appreciation of myself. These moments help to hold me steady in my day, they confirm deep down what I already know, that it is not about what we look like or what we achieve, it is about how we are with ourselves and others.

Why then, as women, do we allow the negative commentary?

It can provide an issue, a distraction, and perhaps even makes us fit into what the ‘norm’ can be. It is often a part of everyday life to hear people make throwaway comments about themselves and others that negate the truth of who we are. 

What does it feel like when we don’t negate who we are, but accept and appreciate in full instead?

Michelle Harford - credit-Dave Hudson
Michelle (credit: Dave Hudson)

In the moments where I deeply appreciate myself it feels like a self-sustaining feedback system that replenishes me, and leaves me feeling more of myself, more able to get on with life and more able to support others. The self-bashing leaves me feeling the opposite: drained, tired and like I need to escape, or to shut myself away from people.

What I know today is that we are able to choose and be honest with ourselves when the thoughts pop in. We can say ‘those thoughts do not support me’ and come back to the appreciation of all that we are. We can share openly when we feel amazing and this can inspire others to do the same.

Is there more on offer, more to connect to within ourselves?

What if the things we criticise are areas that we feel we could bring more to? What if, when we criticise the way we look, it’s because who we see or how we feel in that moment isn’t a true representation of all we know ourselves to be? 

What if our body shows us an end result of a multitude of choices, and what if instead of continuing the cycle of self-critique, we appreciate that we can choose differently from that moment forwards? 

Every breath we take and every next step can be one of appreciation to build from or one of reducing ourselves back into an issue that we may not truly have.

As women let’s celebrate who we are, celebrate what each of us brings and continue to build a foundation of self worth, deep knowing and appreciating in full, all of our qualities.

By Michelle, Cornwall, UK 

You may also enjoy …

Is there a way to deepen our appreciation of ourselves, by building a connection to our body and what we’re feeling? Cherise’s blog on celebrating the woman within.

Where does true self-worth come from? ’If we want to reconnect to our intrinsic worth, we must start by making space to observe and listen to our own feelings, reconnecting to our own inner voice..’

310 thoughts on “The Choice to Appreciate and Self-Nourish

  1. “In the moments where I deeply appreciate myself it feels like a self-sustaining feedback system that replenishes me” This is the kind of stuff we need lessons on at school – if we learn to do this from an early age the rest of our life is sorted.

  2. With self love and self appreciation comes power and with that it can unsettle a lot of people, hense the reason so many of us who play small.

    Its taken a while but now I realise that in order to keep the power and strength you have to let the haters be and be committed to keep on shining – no matter what.

  3. “What if our body shows us an end result of a multitude of choices, and what if instead of continuing the cycle of self-critique, we appreciate that we can choose differently from that moment forwards? ” Yes, yes and yes. We are so quick to denigrate ourselves – and collude with others. Appreciation knocks out any negativity and builds us up rather than the self-doubt and constant subtle put downs.

  4. To beat ourselves us is an old story now and really does not work. It creates a truly vicious circle and can spin us off for days if we don’t catch it.

  5. Why do we avoid nurturing ourselves? Despite the hectic schedules and millions of chores we have to do, which can often wait & don’t have to be done there and then? Is it possible that we pile up the things to do in avoidance of sitting down and taking a time for ourselves? What would happen if one day we just said enough is enough and stopped putting the wellbeing of everyone and everything else before our own? What will happen then?

  6. There is so so much to appreciate, and what is beautiful is the more we appreciate the more we see to appreciate, This cycle is one of love and joy.

    1. Yes appreciating oneself is so important, It is an antidote to so many rascally thoughts and emotions such as envy and comparison when we can appreciate another also.

  7. This is such a profound blog we all need to sit up and take notice of, it has the potential to changes lives if it is lived.

  8. Why do we deny ourselves and feel we are not enough where do these thoughts originate from? Why do we as a species seemingly concentrate on the lack of who we are? For example I have never seen say a Cheetah question if they are fast enough, they instinctively know. So is it possible that our instinctive knowledge of who we are and where we come from has been tampered with so that we no longer have a true understanding of who we are. And so it is easier for these thoughts to sway us and sway they do to the detriment of ourselves and all others.

    1. If we don’t appreciate we cannot build, oru foundation has holes which we can slip through very easily.

  9. How is it that as a society this basic fundamental right – to love and nurture ourselves gets taken away from us quite soon as soon as we start to grow up?

  10. “What does it feel like when we don’t negate who we are, but accept and appreciate in full instead?” Absolutely marvellous!

  11. “What does it feel like when we don’t negate who we are, but accept and appreciate in full instead?” It’s such a common thing to self depreciate, self criticise, and even self bash, so it’s a great question. I would say that life is fairly black and white and we always have one of two options, be negative and critical or self loving and appreciative – our choice.

  12. Brave choice – in a world where the norm is the opposite. Where a person taking care of themselves stands out with their vibrancy and glow, where the majority of us have dulled eyes and shrunken shoulders.

  13. This is such a beautiful reminder Michelle that there is a part of us that is so worth connecting back to as it holds the essence of who we are. and as you say it is not to trash ourselves with negative thoughts rather it is about how we are with ourselves and all others.

  14. This is such a foundational piece of writing Michelle, you go where we all need to go for appreciation is crucial to all our lives. It is a foundational human principle and standard we can all live by.

  15. I was walking past a young lady in the supermarket the other day they had their back to me and as I walked past I was struck by their pure exquisite beauty. It was flowing out of them they were intent on paying for their groceries but the pure love I felt walking by was arresting. Instead of walking by I just wanted to stop and bath in the beauty of this young lady. It was a WOW! that feels amazing moment. This is how powerful women are when they claim their power; power is not something that needs to be done but it feels like a being, just being all of one’s self so that everyone gets to feel it is so very powerful but at the same time understated.

    1. Mary thank you for sharing this, it is a really beautiful experience and it communicates so clearly that the power we have as women comes from our love, it’s our true inner state of being that truly supports the world.

  16. Michelle I agree with you when you say
    “As women let’s celebrate who we are, celebrate what each of us brings and continue to build a foundation of self worth, deep knowing and appreciating in full, all of our qualities.”
    There are now quite a few women in society that are truly celebrating who they are as sacred women not in a razzle dazzle way but by just bringing all of who they are out into the open so that this can be felt by all others.

  17. If we all put our energy into appreciation instead of criticising, where would we be as a species? A lot more advanced than where we are now.

  18. Thank you Michele. I feel like I’ve been to the car wash, been sopaed, rinsed, buffed and come out good as new just from reading this. Such is the power of Appreciation, which makes dust of the lies that we can believe about ourselves.

    Appreciation is a full breath of fresh air that blows away all the cobwebs, and, in an instant, gets us seeing the truth again.

    I’m amazed by the instant impact of appreciation.

    1. Thanks Simone, I loved reading your comment and this line is so true “Such is the power of Appreciation, which makes dust of the lies that we can believe about ourselves.”

  19. It makes such a huge difference when we say no to the negative commentary that can chatter away in the head. By accepting ourselves and appreciating ourselves instead, it’s a whole different story.

  20. When an aspect of our self calls for attention it is an opportunity. Self-criticism is only useful, when followed by understanding and deepening, not beating up ourselves. To see the whole picture, connects us with the grandness that we are and calls for appreciation.

  21. I come back to this blog again and again, for each day it seems that I appreciate more deeply the truth about appreciation and the gold that it is in developing our divinity.

  22. ” What if the things we criticise are areas that we feel we could bring more to? ”
    What if the energy of criticism was changed to the energy of taking stock and pin pointing and acknowledging where we innately know we can reflect to the world a truer and more divine woman expression or a truer divine man expression.

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