Me and my Menstrual Cycle: Connecting to my Body and Myself as a Woman

I am a 43 year-young woman and for most of my life I have had no relationship with my menstrual cycle. At some point, I found out that there was such a thing as ‘menstruation’ and at the age of 14, wearing white pants on that particular day (how convenient…), it started for me in the toilet at school. I had my first menstruation and I had no idea what to do. I felt awkward and embarrassed, especially because it was on a day that my father picked me up and suggested we go for a long walk with the dogs. That was the longest walk of my life. I asked my two older sisters for support and I was introduced into the world of sanitary pads. And having my monthly period.

And so my life continued…

At the age of 16 I had my first boyfriend and my mother suggested taking the pill. Not because I had difficulties with my period, but for birth control. After that, for many years to follow, and having several relationships, I took the pill, had my monthly ‘fake’ menstruation, put in a tampon (so much more convenient than those big sanitary towel ‘mattresses’), and I lived my life; A life without any connection to my cycle, my body, my uterus, my ovaries, my breasts, my menstruation, my ovulation – in other words, to the fact that I was a woman, with a menstrual cycle.

I never took a moment to ask myself what it actually means to be a woman, let alone what it means to live as a woman.

There were never conversations about menstrual cycles and how we as women live according to a cycle. Yes, there were the occasional talks with my female friends about our menstruation, but always from a negative point of view and how inconvenient it was. I have never heard a woman talk about her menstruation in a positive and joyful way. With my relationships, my menstruation was a no-go area. I had this strong belief that you don’t talk about those women’s things with partners and when it was ‘that time of the month’, I quietly mentioned something about having my period, there was no touching for a couple of days and that was it.

So much for being a woman…

By the time I wanted to have a child, around age 36, things changed completely. I stopped taking the pill, I got my regular periods back and my cycle was suddenly the main focus point. Getting my period became an emotional and stressful moment and I started counting the days to see when my ovulation would take place. I did this from my head, instead of truly making contact with my ovaries. The gynecologist had told me that ovulation normally takes place between day 12 and day 14 and she mentioned something about cervical mucus. I started to feel my ovaries and my ovulation and how my mucus did change around this time, but it was all with the focus on becoming pregnant. By the time I made the choice to go to hospital for support in getting pregnant, my ovulation and my menstruation had become a true obsession. Not only that, I also experienced that every woman’s body is different and that ovulation takes place when the egg is ready, so to speak. So many times I actually had my ovulation around day 9 or 10, which is seen as ‘not normal’.

During this time, there was a functional relationship with my cycle and my body, but only because I wanted to get pregnant. It had a reason, a purpose, and it came very much from my head. I only had this focus because I wanted a result, not because I wanted to connect with myself. I had no relationship with myself, or with my body. I was counting the days in my calendar, planning when to have sex and every month around day 28 there was this emotional tension whether I would menstruate or not.

Over the past five years, slowly letting go of my need to have a child, and making the choice to not go to the hospital any longer for support, I started to build a relationship with myself. I booked an Esoteric Healing session as I felt there were things to look at in my life and I wanted to understand what it was that I was missing. This has been a huge turn around for me and since that first session, I have been, with the help of Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health, exploring my relationship with myself, and my connection with my body.

I realised that my feeling of missing something had to do with me not having a relationship with myself and I also came to understand that I had never really accepted the fact that I am a woman. And not just a woman, but a beautiful, caring, loving and gorgeous woman. I realised I had no love for myself and I carried this huge lack of self-worth.

I learned that I had no true relationship with my body, and therefore no relationship with my menstrual cycle.

With the letting go of my need to become a mother, and building a relationship with myself, I started to get in touch with my body, slowly building a better understanding of what it means to be a woman through my body. I started to accept my body and the fact that I am a woman.

Today, I am very much aware of my menstrual cycle, knowing exactly where I am within it, and I love having my menstruation. I love to feel how my body changes during the month, how my breasts feel differently according to where I am in my cycle, how my menstruation has changed over the years, and how this is linked to the way I live. I can feel my ovulation more often and what affect this has on me, my surroundings and in how I feel. I can also see that there is no such thing as ‘being late or early’ with your menstruation. It is always at the right time for the body.

The way I live as a woman and the choices that I make every day, have an effect on my menstruation. This is something nobody had ever shared with me, until Universal Medicine and Natalie Benhayon came into my life.

Two things that Natalie taught me, which have changed my life completely are:

  • How I live and the choices that I make have an impact on my menstruation. I always heard that painful periods were part of life and that we just have to deal with this. But this is not true. We as women have a choice in how we live from day to day and how we take care of ourselves. I have experienced that the more I take care of myself and the more I truly honour myself, the more positive the effect upon my menstruation. I don’t have heavy bleeding, no pain in my stomach and no emotional rollercoasters in the days beforehand. Some months I actually feel very powerful and great before my menstruation starts. So a painful period is not something we just have to put up with. It just reflects back how we live and offers us an opportunity to change.
  • Menstruation is a time of reflection, a time of clearing and to deeply honour the body. When women talk about their periods, it is often talked about from a negative perspective – like a burden we have to carry. But could it be that our menstruation is actually a time for the body to clear itself from things that no longer support us in who we are and that those days are a beautiful time to slow down a bit and take it easy? Maybe sleep a bit longer, skip the gym, have a rest, take a bath and nurture ourselves a bit extra. Given that menstruating is part of being a woman, why not embrace it and reflect on how our month has been and if there are things we can do differently the next month.

My menstrual cycle is now my guide.

I have my own body and my body tells me everything I need to know. I live more and more in sync with my menstrual cycle and it is truly amazing how much my cycle is telling me: how I feel, my moods and emotions, what I want to eat and if I need more sleep for instance. I have not only built a deeper relationship with myself, but also with my breasts, my uterus and my ovaries. The beautiful thing is, I am not building this relationship to get pregnant or to avoid pregnancy, but because I care, appreciate and love myself. My menstrual cycle is a part of my life and the way I live. Every day I am deepening the relationship that I have with myself, knowing there is no end point or result. It is an ongoing journey that reveals new things to me each day.

The way I live today and everything I have learned is deeply inspired by Universal Medicine practitioners including Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Sara Williams, Mary-Louise Myers, and all those beautiful women around me.

Without this inspiration, I would not be the woman that I am today: a woman that loves being in the world, connecting with people, who wakes up every day looking forward to what will come, vital, joyful, who enjoys living on her own in the heart of Amsterdam, self-caring, having fun, fulfilled and who loves to go to bed at 9pm.

My menstrual cycle is giving me a true understanding of what it actually means to be a woman and the fact that we as women, live in cycles. It is these cycles that allow me to continue exploring connecting to my body and myself as a woman.

by Mariette, Holland.

You may also enjoy:
Our Cycle App – Period and Moon Cycle Tracker
Women’s Periods 101
The Joy of Having my Period and Ovulation – Yes, it’s true! by Danna Elmalah

623 thoughts on “Me and my Menstrual Cycle: Connecting to my Body and Myself as a Woman

  1. Feeling and honouring the communication that comes from our body should be part of our health and wellbeing program. It communicates so much about not just what we do but how we do what we do.

  2. We live in a cycle that we are absolutely unaware of – a body that is functioning, changing and moving every second of the day – yet many of us have no awareness of what the body is doing.

  3. I agree, our menstruation and our body reflects back how we live and offers an opportunity to change by communicating very clearly when we have allowed something that disconnects our body from the harmony and natural rhythm it knows and is designed to be in.

  4. When we have a functional relationship with our body and our menstrual cycle it becomes something to manage and get through whereas when we re-connect with the purpose of menstruation and embrace the constant learning on offer then we can feel all that is being offered for us to go deeper in our relationship with our womanly bodies. Thank you for sharing your journey and it is a joy to feel how your relationship with yourself has evolved.

  5. “My menstrual cycle is a part of my life and the way I live.” A beautiful understanding that our menstrual cycle is a precious gift of being a woman whether you have children or not.

  6. Our of the most saddest things in our society is that as women many of us have dismissed our cycles and the amazing healing gift they offer.

    1. Yes and in that the lost opportunity to deepen our relationship with ourself and the joy in honouring ourselves as beautiful women.

  7. “I never took a moment to ask myself what it actually means to be a woman, let alone what it means to live as a woman” – this is such a great statement for us to consider as women Mariette and for me, the relationship with myself and with my livingness as a woman began in my late 30s (and continues deepening today in my 40s), where I took the time to get to know and understand the “mechanics” or workings of my female body and how they were supported by the natural cycles that it goes through which led to a beautiful unfolding in understanding what my innate qualities were like ‘stillness’, ‘delicateness’ and ‘tenderness’ to end up cherishing not only my body and my being but also being a woman and what ‘being womanly’ meant too.

    1. Stunning Zofia and how wonderful that we have been offered this opportunity. When you take away the ‘ra-ra’ of marketing we have bought into about what is a great life, we have an opportunity to surrender to feeling what we actually feel about the pace we want to live, the way we want to move and start truly honouring ourselves and our body.

  8. “The beautiful thing is, I am not building this relationship to get pregnant or to avoid pregnancy, but because I care, appreciate and love myself.” I am more and more feeling this in life too. For long I focussed on my period cycle because it was too long, and I had very painful periods too so it was more of an solution than a truly wanting to get to know my cycle as a woman. Now this is changing and I am enjoying getting to know my cycle and myself in this way.

  9. The way we currently approach menstruation means that we are either completely underprepared or we are prepared to deal with the functional aspects of menstruation only. We are robbed of a time of celebration and deepening our connection with what it means to be a woman and the awesome responsibility our bodies carry to support others through our inner stillness.

  10. I hate how periods are regarded as something super disgusting – “I quietly mentioned something about having my period, there was no touching for a couple of days and that was it”. There is such embarrassment, as if the woman is dirty so let’s not go there these couple of days. Let’s ignore it and feel sorry for the woman who has to go through this every month – what a societal lie.

  11. I am so deeply appreciative to Natalie Benhayon and Esoteric Woman’s Health and how this has inspired me to go deeper and become more honest with myself and my relationship with my body. The Ourcycle app is a great daily support in stopping and connecting inwards to feel how I am and what my body is telling me.

  12. It is beautiful to read how you are building a loving relationship with yourself because you love and appreciate yourself, ‘Every day I am deepening the relationship that I have with myself, knowing there is no end point or result. It is an ongoing journey that reveals new things to me each day.’

  13. What a beautiful confirmation of the power of re-connecting to our body and developing a true and deep relationship with it, our essence as a woman and an understanding of the blessing of the menstrual cycle. Young girls would benefit from reading and living from this understanding, well before the transition from girl to woman.

  14. I am truly appreciative of our cycles as women and allowing myself the space and time to feel what is there to be felt, what my body is communicating to me and then honouring and supporting myself with what ever is needed. How cool is that and to be able to share that with the younger generations, how amazing this is sets them up from the start to be the Sacred women that they are.

  15. I love having my periods it’s a time of deep joy. The picture of having periods do not have to be one of torture and pain. We can choose this experience for ourselves by the level of connection we have with ourselves.

    1. So true, we can choose to be aware of the purpose of our periods and surrender to how we feel through our cycles. Once you get over the fact you have not truly felt this level of communication before, the opportunities your cycle offers come to the fore and become part and parcel of your personal health and wellbeing program.

  16. “The beautiful thing is, I am not building this relationship to get pregnant or to avoid pregnancy, but because I care, appreciate and love myself” – This is transformational Mariette. We don’t have to wait for ‘permission’ or an excuse to develop a deeper relationship with ourselves, because we wake up each morning in the same body and what better opportunity could there be than this to constantly reflect and build?

  17. ‘I never took a moment to ask myself what it actually means to be a woman, let alone what it means to live as a woman.’ Mariette, I am sure you are not alone here. Not only did I never ask myself what it means to be a woman, I simply didn’t want to be one! It is interesting and rather shocking to observe this trend and to clock how far removed from our potential most women seem to be. With the support of Universal Medicine, I have come a long way too and it seems strange to look back and remember how riddled with self-loathing I was because I had no understanding, let alone any appreciation, for what being a woman truly meant.

  18. Yes, it is really gorgeous to build a relationship with ourself and our body, ‘I realised that my feeling of missing something had to do with me not having a relationship with myself and I also came to understand that I had never really accepted the fact that I am a woman.’

  19. We are able to understand ourselves on a far deeper level as a woman when we deepen our connection with our body and learn to live from our natural cycle feeling how our choices affect us and knowing when to refine our choices to honour and nurture our whole being.

  20. We can carry trauma around the start of our period that, unless we are supported to let go of, can then influence the way we approach our periods from then on. Esoteric Womens Health has offered us the opportunity to look at how those pivotal moments influence so many of the subsequent decisions we make.

    1. It is certainly not an exaggeration to say that many girls are traumatised by the start of their periods, A lot of the trauma comes from the shame around them, which comes from the fact that we do not talk about them considering them to be unclean, but it needn’t be this way. If we can accept that they are in fact a blessing, a way of a woman being able to not only clear from her body any built up energy over the month but that also of the family she lives with, we will be much more open to them.

  21. Thank you Marriette a great understanding of what women’s menstrual cycle is really about. I feel men could benefit from reading this too so they would be able to relate more to what is happening to a woman’s body around this time and the changes that are going on. Likewise I would have loved to have known this when I was having my periods, instead of seeing how most women feel about periods, as a nuisance and inconvenience and something that always happens at the ‘wrong time’.

  22. “…. there was a functional relationship with my cycle and my body, but only because I wanted to get pregnant.” I can relate to this too Mariette. I understood the mechanics but not the energetic component. By the time I came to understand more about my menstrual cycle energetically I was post-menopausal. I so appreciate the Our Cycles app and the teachings about the full moon cycle for post-menopausal women and men. Learning about rhythms and cycles has been so supportive.

  23. ‘Given that menstruating is part of being a woman, why not embrace it and reflect on how our month has been and if there are things we can do differently the next month.’ True Mariette what a difference it would already make when we embrace our menstruation and accept being a woman with everything that comes with it. Every girl needs to know how beautiful their body is and how supportive it is to live with our cycle and rhythms instead of fighting them and abuse our body.

  24. From ‘I never took a moment to ask myself what it actually means to be a woman, let alone what it means to live as a woman.’ to ‘My menstrual cycle is giving me a true understanding of what it actually means to be a woman and the fact that we as women, live in cycles. It is these cycles that allow me to continue exploring connecting to my body and myself as a woman.’ is a completely different and new way of living. I especially love the exploring part through the cycles we live with, in and under (as in influenced by them) and this doesnot stop when we stop menstruating, it is my experience how much there is to explore in menopause when we our bodies are aligned with the cycle of the moon.

  25. Wow what a journey you have been on with your menstrual cycle – it’s do cool that you now are so in love with your body and know exactly what is happening and why! So much to discover and appreciate.

  26. The introduction to menstruation should be supported and celebrated and prepared for by the teenager in collaboration with older women. Instead it is almost traumatic and many girls are not prepared at all. Imagine how different it would be knowing exactly what the period does physically and energetically, having experimented with different pads and carrying them for the eventual first day. This would not set us up to have lifelong dread of the period arriving or wanting to pretend it doesn’t exist and carry on as usual.

  27. I was really struck by your comment “ovulation takes place when the egg is ready”, I think there has been a part of me that has wanted our bodies to be more predictable than that, for example ‘this happens then, that happens then’, so I don’t have to think and I we don’t have to take responsibility. But the organic nature of ourselves mean we are affected by everything around us and what we put in us, nothing is innocuous. That offers us an opportunity to be an active participant in our monthly cycles, being responsive to our personal rhythms and conversation from our body.

  28. My relationship with my body has been very functional for a long time, and because of that, I had no idea how to read my body or the signs it was giving me. Learning to interpret it now, and making choices to better read and understand my body, is still a work in progress. It makes me wonder, how would our relationship with our bodies be as adults, and our relationship with ourselves as women be, if we were taught from young how to look after, nurture, and really listen to our own body needs? Worth considering, when we reflect on the ever-increasing rates of illness and disease, worldwide.

  29. ‘A life without any connection to my cycle, my body, my uterus, my ovaries, my breasts, my menstruation, my ovulation – in other words, to the fact that I was a woman, with a menstrual cycle.’ I guess many women can relate to what you say here and I was one too, maybe I had a connection with my cycle, my female organs etc.but most of the time this connection was made because of the pain I experienced and my irregular period, so being a woman was connected with suffering and pain. What a difference with how I live now as a woman knowing that every choice I make has an impact on my precious body and how joyful it is to be a woman amongst every other woman I know.

  30. What does it mean to be a women? and what does it mean to live as a women? these are questions that I have pondered on more deeply since attending the Well-being for Women groups in London – I have come to the conclusion to live as a women is to surrender to the absolute love and beauty that is within.

  31. I realise that there is still so much about my body that I am unaware of, like my ovulation cycle. I can’t honestly say that I have ever been aware of when I am ovulating, it is something I want to know more about.

  32. Imagine if we were talk from a young age to honour and be aware of the many cycles we are under? What the cycles offer us on a constant basis are life changing and evolutionary, to honour them makes perfect sense.

  33. “a painful period is not something we just have to put up with. It just reflects back how we live and offers us an opportunity to change.” A deeper understanding of our menstrual cycle and our responsibility to ourselves as a woman is a truth that should be shared with all young girls and women.be shared with all young girls and women.

  34. ” I have my own body and my body tells me everything I need to know. ” this is so true, if we would only listen, thank you for sharing Marietta.

  35. If we were taught the fundamental connection between our cycle and our relationship with ourselves as woman, then the we would be living in a very different landscape. This is why Esoteric Women’s Health is so ground breakingly important. Thanks for sharing your intimate story.

  36. Moments of sadness occasionally grief arise for me to feel the loss of connection and love towards myself. It may momentarily feel uncomfortable but it is such a gift from my body offering me the opportunity to look at how I am with myself in life and to deepen the relationship.

  37. Getting in touch with our body and how we are feeling builds a deeper awareness of our cycles and the realisation that we need to honour what our body is communicating to be able to build a true connection and expression of our innate qualities.

  38. The natural cycles within all of life and the reflections they offer to us are worth heeding, because our body flows harmoniously when we are in alignment with them, but when we are out of rhythm with them, we cause dis-ease within our body which often manifests as an illness.

  39. “Without this inspiration, I would not be the woman that I am today” – Many women have been impacted by different inspirations OR pressures, limits and encouragements to live lesser than what you’ve shared about loving being in the world, and thus we all have a responsibility to provide this INSPIRATION for all others and thus support women to live free of ideals and beliefs put on them by society.

  40. Our relationship with ourselves is the foundation for all our relationships and it is only when we re-connect to our own bodies that we can start to truly support ourselves. I spent many years doing my best to ignore that I was a woman until I was post-menopausal and it is only recently that I have found the joy in exploring my relationship with myself as a woman and all that this brings me with the support of esoteric practitioners and my ongoing commitment to deepening this journey of exploration.

  41. This is a great sharing of how we can be with our period cycles and our bodies and how in fact it can offer us so much more if we allow the space to listen and build a relationship with ourselves and our own bodies. The beauty that is offered each month to every woman and those around her is deeply precious and it’s amazing to know that no matter where we’ve been with our periods in the past we can embrace them now and all they offer us as a living guide to how we can deeply support and love ourselves.

  42. The more I really appreciate what my periodsand cycles are showing me the more I get to embrace being the powerful Woman that I am. How precious this is and letting myself enjoy the beauty that this brings and not being ashamed of it.

  43. ” My menstrual cycle is giving me a true understanding of what it actually means to be a woman and the fact that we as women, live in cycles. It is these cycles that allow me to continue exploring connecting to my body and myself as a woman.” This is a huge learning its like the menstrual cycle is a reflector of how loving one has been with there body and how much one honours the truth of themselves. Thank you for sharing Mariette.

  44. As I build on my relationship with my cycle the changes I get around the time of ovulation are becoming stronger. On some level together with knowing that ovulation occurred around the middle of the month I knew when I was ovulating but that was that. I am now beginning to appreciate the beauty and feelings I have at this time of the month as my connection to myself and awareness expands.

  45. “The way I live as a woman and the choices that I make every day, have an effect on my menstruation. This is something nobody had ever shared with me, until Universal Medicine and Natalie Benhayon came into my life.” I am so with you on this one. I have changed the way I live through the inspiration of Universal Medicine and Natalie Benhayon and my periods have improved dramatically.

  46. Beautiful to read a blog by a woman who claims and honours her menstrual cycle and all the wisdom, joy and reflection that it offers to her on a monthly basis….deeply inspiring.

  47. I remember the day I stopped taking the pill, it was so disruptive concerning how I felt as a woman, tearful, itchy, low, insensitive….there are more supportive ways to not get pregnant. Everyone choice of course, but I when on to find other methods that supported my body more. Stopping the pill, did really connect me more with my cycle, it is worth observing what our cycle share with us.

  48. The kind of relationship that we have with our body is like a foundation that we carry with us in all areas of our life and by letting go of beliefs or ideals about how we think we should be we open the way for having a truer and more genuinely intimate and loving relationship with ourselves that translates into all our other relationships as well.

  49. How gorgeous is this…”The beautiful thing is, I am not building this relationship to get pregnant or to avoid pregnancy, but because I care, appreciate and love myself.” Why wouldn’t we want to live everyday like this – fully appreciating ourselves and lovingly caring for ourselves every moment of every day – without perfection!

    1. ‘and I lived my life; A life without any connection to my cycle, my body, my uterus, my ovaries, my breasts, my menstruation, my ovulation – in other words, to the fact that I was a woman, with a menstrual cycle.’ We do ourselves and our daughters such a disservice to ignore our cycle, consider it inconvenient, dismiss our bodies and therefore ourselves as women. One of the best ways we can support our children is to connect with our cycle ourselves – to embrace it for all it brings and all it means so that they can see a different relationship with it and how as women we can develop deeper intimacy with ourselves, deeper nurture and care, making this the new normal not just for ourselves but for all. Since I started to understand my cycle more and started to embrace it as part of being a woman I have felt so much more at ease with myself and much more gently claimed. This doesn’t just support my daughter, but my son too as he gets to feel the preciousness of what being a woman is.

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.