Developing a True Relationship with My Breasts

From a very young age the only relationship I had with my breasts was one laced with despair, discomfort and shame. Having developed breasts from a young age I spent most of my life trying to hide their size and wishing they were not so large, as I didn’t like the attention that they attracted, particularly from boys and later on men.

It wasn’t until I had a breast cancer diagnosis in 2008 and being faced with surgery did the relationship I had with my breasts change.

The first change in relationship was that it was now based on fear – the fear of losing my breasts, the very breasts that I had for such a long time ignored and condemned. All of a sudden they were not so bad after all.

I had fear come up of what they would look like after surgery and how I would be perceived by others, in particular a partner, having been through surgery for breast cancer. Being young and single (33 at the time) I didn’t feel that it was fair that this was happening to me. I remember going to the beach just before having surgery and wondering if this would be the last time I would wear a bikini.

Throughout that year, my relationship with my breasts developed but it was mainly based on what was to come next after the diagnosis of cancer – surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, examinations, mammograms and ultrasounds.

Having completed my treatment for breast cancer, the year that followed was one where I did have a greater awareness of my breasts, but that relationship was still very surface and mainly one of gratitude for having got through surgery and radiation without too much scarring (pun intended) both physically and emotionally.

This still was not a true relationship with my breasts.

Two years later and enter the Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM).

This was the beginning of a deeper connection to my breasts and what followed was a deepening of my connection to me as a woman.

beautiful-delicate-flower

The EBM supported me in developing a relationship with my breasts where I started to feel them as part of me and my body, no longer something that I just had because I was a woman.

From my very first session, where my breasts were so tenderly massaged by a highly qualified female practitioner in the most delicate and precious way, did I begin to feel my breasts for the first time and the energy that was held in them.

When I first started having sessions, much came up in what I felt from feeling the lack of regard that I had been living in, to the choices that I had made over my life to not truly honour the woman that I am.

Over time and with ongoing EBMs I began to feel the beauty and the deep self-nurturing that can extend from breast care, into the care of how I live in my day-to-day.

I have discovered that self-nurturing is not in an activity,  or what I do but it lies in the quality in which I choose to do things.

With the support of the EBM, I have come to feel and discovered that my breasts are for me – not for anyone else. Their size and shape do not matter. What matters is how they are a constant reminder to me to offer myself the love and care that I and every other woman deserves. They are my self-nurturing centres and as I care for my breasts, I deeply care for all of me.

It is nearly nine years since my diagnosis of breast cancer and it feels like I have completed a cycle in my relationship with my breasts. I now love my breasts, not for what they look like, but for how they feel from the inside and how my connection with them has extended to deepen the connection that I have to the whole of my body. My connection to my breasts reminds me of the beautiful and precious woman that I am. They remind me of the love that I can choose to be, every single day.

In deep gratitude to Esoteric Women’s Health, the Esoteric Breast Massage and Foundational Breast Care for redefining what true breast care is and how a woman’s relationship with her breasts is a relationship well worth unfolding.

by Donna Gianniotis, age 42, Sydney, Australia
A gorgeous woman, Universal Medicine Practitioner, Yoga Therapy Practitioner and Receptionist

You may also Enjoy:

“For most of my life, I didn’t consider that my breasts were even part of my body …”  Discovering me through the Esoteric Breast Massage

When was the last time you stood in front of a mirror, naked, and looked at your breasts, absolutely without any judgement? …  What is your Relationship with your Breasts

Self Nurturing a key ingredient in Breast Cancer support  Can a Breast Cancer diagnosis change how women care for themselves? Sharon Gavioli, a registered nurse of 30+ years shares some great tips…

289 thoughts on “Developing a True Relationship with My Breasts

  1. In the EBMs, to have been touched and massaged so delicately and tenderly by another woman with complete integrity and respect, I have been offered a different way to be with my breasts and this has supported me to treat myself and my breasts with much more presence and delicateness, and actually given me permission to enjoy me and my breasts – this may sound strange to some but coming from a space where I was not comfortable with my breasts, to then accept them and be OK with them is a huge step let alone then be enjoying them too in terms of knowing that as a woman they are not just a milk bar or sexual tool but in fact nurturing centres and a beautiful part of my body.

  2. Breasts are in society commonly seen as sexual objects or as a means to feed milk to babies – they are not so commonly percieved as belonging to a woman and being her nurturing centers. I too grew up in my early teens feeling acutely uncomfortable about my breasts developing and wanted to hide them for ages. I tried to wear double T-shirts and wrap the breasts up so they would be squashed and not be seen. Thankfully later I was Ok with them, but being ‘ok’ with them was the best case scenario for most of my adult life until in more recent years where I am now learning to appreciate them and love what they are here to offer me in this life in terms of being nurturing centers and a part of me as a woman! This is still a work in progress for me!

  3. Knowing who we are as women is super important, if we don’t know ourselves we can seriously be taken for a ride. In my experience the women who have EBM’s are very very sorted, emotional sound and evolving ladies.

    I myself have had couple of Esoteric Breast Massages and wow have I found them super healing and supportive towards my own evolution as a friend, colleague, wife and business lady..

  4. “I now love my breasts, not for what they look like, but for how they feel from the inside and how my connection with them has extended to deepen the connection that I have to the whole of my body.” This is such a different way to look at breasts, to understand that they hold an energetic quality, and that a relationship with our breasts that is self caring and self honouring can actually change how we feel about ourselves and our lifestyle choices.

  5. Esoteric Breast Massage has for me redefined what true breast care is. I feel deeply privileged to understand myself and my body more by experiencing the esoteric breast massage.

  6. ‘My connection to my breasts reminds me of the beautiful and precious woman that I am. They remind me of the love that I can choose to be, every single day.’ Thank you for sharing Donna and how gorgeous to feel your evolving journey in your relationship with your breasts and how this has supported you to claim yourself as the beautiful woman that you are.

  7. The EBM are a beautiful way for a women to initiate self healing, society imposes so much onto women, which often leaves a women scarred with deep hurts, and then add to that a truck load of self loathing. EBM’s are an opportunity to truly heal.

  8. Having EBMs has changed my relationship with my breasts and woken me up to the beautiful and delicate woman I am.

  9. I have heard on many occasions women talk about their breasts with loathing, especially when they think that they are too big.

  10. This is lovely to read how the EBM’s supported you to develop a connection with your breasts, ‘The EBM supported me in developing a relationship with my breasts where I started to feel them as part of me and my body, no longer something that I just had because I was a woman.’

  11. How we are with our breasts and with our whole body has a big impact on our wellbeing, on the depth of connection that we can feel with our essence and the joy that comes with this. It is very worthwhile unfolding the kind of relationship we have with our body as the effects of this ripple out into all areas of our life…

  12. Deeply caring and nurturing ourselves is an essential part of how we live, ‘Over time and with ongoing EBMs I began to feel the beauty and the deep self-nurturing that can extend from breast care, into the care of how I live in my day-to-day.’

  13. “What matters is how they are a constant reminder to me to offer myself the love and care that I and every other woman deserves. They are my self-nurturing centres and as I care for my breasts, I deeply care for all of me.” this is so beautiful to claim my self nurturing centres there by claiming all of me as a woman.

    1. It is so supportive when we commit to caring for our breasts how this is reflected throughout our lives.

      1. Well said Helen – breasts or feet, arms or neck, all of our body matters equally so, but especially so the breasts can be ignored more so than the rest of the body and so it is about realising that they are just as important… and another thought too: appreciating all that they bring is super important. Breasts and breast discussions can come so loaded with other connotations (sexual and otherwise), it makes us wonder what has happened, for when we talk about feet or arms there is not that same loaded aspect that there is with breasts. Hence the way we think and talk about breasts can certainly change and allow more of what is truly there to appreciate and enjoy rather than allowing loaded versions to prevail.

  14. “Over time and with ongoing EBMs I began to feel the beauty and the deep self-nurturing that can extend from breast care, into the care of how I live in my day-to-day.” so beautiful to read that when I bring self nurturing to one part of my body my whole body feels the effects.

  15. Beautiful to feel the loving relationship and appreciation you now hold for yourself through your experience with breast cancer and unfolding a deeper relationship with your breasts and the whole of your body. There is much we are able to claim and unfold about ourselves when we reconnect to the true quality and way of being that we are all innately born to express from.

  16. “What matters is how they are a constant reminder to me to offer myself the love and care that I and every other woman deserves. They are my self-nurturing centres and as I care for my breasts, I deeply care for all of me.” Beautiful Donna. Rediscoveriing my own relationship with my breasts has been a transformative moment in my life, and thus a reassessment of their and my worth.

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