From a very young age the only relationship I had with my breasts was one laced with despair, discomfort and shame. Having developed breasts from a young age I spent most of my life trying to hide their size and wishing they were not so large, as I didn’t like the attention that they attracted, particularly from boys and later on men.
It wasn’t until I had a breast cancer diagnosis in 2008 and being faced with surgery did the relationship I had with my breasts change.
The first change in relationship was that it was now based on fear – the fear of losing my breasts, the very breasts that I had for such a long time ignored and condemned. All of a sudden they were not so bad after all.
I had fear come up of what they would look like after surgery and how I would be perceived by others, in particular a partner, having been through surgery for breast cancer. Being young and single (33 at the time) I didn’t feel that it was fair that this was happening to me. I remember going to the beach just before having surgery and wondering if this would be the last time I would wear a bikini.
Throughout that year, my relationship with my breasts developed but it was mainly based on what was to come next after the diagnosis of cancer – surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, examinations, mammograms and ultrasounds.
Having completed my treatment for breast cancer, the year that followed was one where I did have a greater awareness of my breasts, but that relationship was still very surface and mainly one of gratitude for having got through surgery and radiation without too much scarring (pun intended) both physically and emotionally.
This still was not a true relationship with my breasts.
Two years later and enter the Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM).
This was the beginning of a deeper connection to my breasts and what followed was a deepening of my connection to me as a woman.
The EBM supported me in developing a relationship with my breasts where I started to feel them as part of me and my body, no longer something that I just had because I was a woman.
From my very first session, where my breasts were so tenderly massaged by a highly qualified female practitioner in the most delicate and precious way, did I begin to feel my breasts for the first time and the energy that was held in them.
When I first started having sessions, much came up in what I felt from feeling the lack of regard that I had been living in, to the choices that I had made over my life to not truly honour the woman that I am.
Over time and with ongoing EBMs I began to feel the beauty and the deep self-nurturing that can extend from breast care, into the care of how I live in my day-to-day.
I have discovered that self-nurturing is not in an activity, or what I do but it lies in the quality in which I choose to do things.
With the support of the EBM, I have come to feel and discovered that my breasts are for me – not for anyone else. Their size and shape do not matter. What matters is how they are a constant reminder to me to offer myself the love and care that I and every other woman deserves. They are my self-nurturing centres and as I care for my breasts, I deeply care for all of me.
It is nearly nine years since my diagnosis of breast cancer and it feels like I have completed a cycle in my relationship with my breasts. I now love my breasts, not for what they look like, but for how they feel from the inside and how my connection with them has extended to deepen the connection that I have to the whole of my body. My connection to my breasts reminds me of the beautiful and precious woman that I am. They remind me of the love that I can choose to be, every single day.
In deep gratitude to Esoteric Women’s Health, the Esoteric Breast Massage and Foundational Breast Care for redefining what true breast care is and how a woman’s relationship with her breasts is a relationship well worth unfolding.
by Donna Gianniotis, age 42, Sydney, Australia
A gorgeous woman, Universal Medicine Practitioner, Yoga Therapy Practitioner and Receptionist
You may also Enjoy:
“For most of my life, I didn’t consider that my breasts were even part of my body …” Discovering me through the Esoteric Breast Massage
When was the last time you stood in front of a mirror, naked, and looked at your breasts, absolutely without any judgement? … What is your Relationship with your Breasts
Self Nurturing a key ingredient in Breast Cancer support Can a Breast Cancer diagnosis change how women care for themselves? Sharon Gavioli, a registered nurse of 30+ years shares some great tips…