Girl power was all the rage in the 1990s and early 2000s. The phrase “girl power” is used as a term of empowerment, independence, and self-sureness, but what came of girl power, and is there such a thing as true girl power? Or more so, the true power of women? Particularly when working together.
In 1994 the Spice Girls shot to the top of the pops with ‘Wannabee’. They were a group of women ‘working’ together, but is there more to it than that? The Spice Girls were a brand, a product, a group of women where there were friendships and where to the outer world there was a ‘spunky’ toughness. But is toughness needed in ‘girl power’ – or in truly power-full women when they are together?
Have you ever observed two women who work together in a power-full way? Or experienced yourself working along side another woman in a way that felt power-full? We are not talking here of power in a dictatorial, or adversarial, or even ‘macho’ way, but power in a way where there is flow, an equalness, and where things get done; where there is an intimacy in it’s true meaning:
- where you can share how you feel without the need to indulge,
- where you can be fragile and vulnerable without feeling shame or a failure,
- where you can express anything without feeling judged, with an open heartedness between you where there are no walls of protection.
These relationships, or shall we say partnerships are also not based on you doing the same job for instance, or being the same level of ‘seniority’. It could be a Chief Executive and her PA, or a manager and the lady who works on reception. The two women could be in any role, but, by their symbiosis they have a remarkable affect.
They hold solid, they know what is needed, there is no jealousy or comparison (and if there is they talk about it, they nut it out) and to the best of their ability there is no degrading or judging way of being together –
they are two women who simply feel the flow, what is needed and can feel how well they work together and get things done.
Recognise this?
If you do it is possible that it has not been appreciated for what it is in full, and that we don’t celebrate these power relationships, or power couples in our workplaces – or in life.
It is true to say that we have all experienced relationships with women at work or in our lives where there is tension, comparison, jealousy, lack of self worth issues, where we feel judged, or unequal, where we make ourselves less. And it is sometimes said ‘get a group of women working together and the dynamics are terrible’… e.g. gossiping or back-biting – but this is not so for all women who work together.
So what makes a power couple? And why is it different to the tough independence of so called ‘girl power’?
We have started to consider this in the last few months. We both work together on different projects – and in those we take different roles in some voluntary projects, for instance Monika is a PA and Jane is a Team Leader in a global Health and Wellbeing project (Unimed Living). In our daily working lives we have similar roles in coaching, training and development – although in completely different countries – but there are parallels in what we learn about our work. In between that we have regular check-ins with one another, and also make a consistent commitment to deepen our intimacy with one another.
We are learning not to accept the status quo as we feel uncomfortable if our relationship feels stagnant, stale, or like it has hit a road-block. We are learning not to accept abuse from one another (e.g. if one of us arrives late for our meeting, or if one of us is in a ‘mood’), and, if we feel abuse in the other we name it – not in a finger pointing way but in a way that allows the other a true gentle reflection to realise that this behaviour is not who they are.
The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.
There is curiosity and not criticism, and we remind each other of playfulness and joy. We allow time to learn and to experiment.
We have come to know this as intimacy at work – and that there is a true power to it, something unshakeable, and solid – and we know if we are tasked with something we will get it done together.
It feels time to start a conversation about women at work – in particular women in groups or power couples – so that we can start to see these for what they truly are and to celebrate and appreciate them; to fully claim that there are women in our working lives that we feel to work with, but maybe we have held back in doing so. The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments.
By Jane (UK) and Monika (The Netherlands)
You may also enjoy:
Jane shares with us the changes she has experienced working In the Company of Women
Relationship Counsellor Gabrielle Caplice explores what true intimacy is in relationships
Victoria Lister opens the discussion about why women so often say no to high profile roles.
Women in Livingness Blog 
This is truly beautiful and deeply inspiring: “It feels time to start a conversation about women at work – in particular women in groups or power couples – so that we can start to see these for what they truly are and to celebrate and appreciate them; to fully claim that there are women in our working lives that we feel to work with, but maybe we have held back in doing so. The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments.”
Thank you Jane and Monika for a great article that really highlights how women can work and be together in a way that is super supportive. As women we hold so much potential and if this is not utilised in a way to build and blossom relationships then we are all losing out on the quality of life and relationships we could be living.
When we experience a relationship that is truly harmonious and supportive and fully equal in its essence, then we have a marker of a new way of being, and a new standard is set for all relationships to follow.
Honouring the essence we are, and knowing that we each have a role to play that complements the offering of another. When we try to bring it all, we go against the rhythm of the Universe because we are designed to work as a team….as reflected so beautifully by nature and the animal kingdom.
When you see and feel two women in the flow of a relationship without jealousy or comparison you see a relationship that has purpose, joy and is very efficient. Rather than try to be ‘part of it’, appreciate that we all have those qualities and see the only person keeping us ‘out of it’ is our need to be ‘part of it’!
I love working with others in general, be it work or voluntary. It’s not that I hate working alone (cause I don’t) but that it’s lovely to share how much I love to work with another and how simple it can all be.
Some of the most trickiest moments in my life I have got by because of the amazing support and love of the women in my life. Supporting one another is sisterhood in motion.
Whether we work with other men or other women in the work place when we open up, stay true to ourselves we give ourselves the opportunity to work together in a way that can not be measured.
While we appreciate the quality of a working relationship with one woman, it is not truly lived until this same quality is felt equally in our all our relationships, with women and men.
Watch out world, when women come together with true purpose the power is truly felt.
I am now working with someone who I formerly judged as a control freak and with whom I said I could never work. It’s awesome how gradually opening up in greater honesty and support for each other our relationship is changing – becoming far more accepting and playful and even appreciative.
Oh yes, when we truly connect to another women and there is that love and respect there mountains can move.
Wow that sounds amazing and good on you for honouring the impulse to do something together regardless of the age difference. It just shows how much joy and playfulness can come out of honouring an impulse.
Just taking a moment when something doesn’t feel quite right to ask if the other person felt that and knew what it was about opens doors that would otherwise have been help firmly shut.
Beautifully said Lucy – communicating honestly is key in holding an openness and trust in the relationship.
I like the experience of if I am in my power and, respect and connect to almost any other, the now togetherness and can bring a quality of equal power. I’m not sure how this works .. but would comment that it is has been truly cherishing another and in that beautiful connection you are something greater.
“and we know if we are tasked with something we will get it done together.” Working in harmony with another any task can be fun.
I love this, we have amazing support all around us, we are surrounded by love and through another we get to celebrate that love.
“they are two women who simply feel the flow, what is needed and can feel how well they work together and get things done.” I know another two business ladies like this, they own a shop together and are super inspiring the way they are dedicated to developing and deepening their connection for the benefit of all. True harmony always = true purpose.
“girl power” – is where we live the true truth and love of ourselves as females, and not the hard, kicking, power-struggling and subscribed to female/feminine ideals, pictures or beliefs that spark revolt …. and so back in the ’90s with the Spice Girls and the arising “girl power” phenomenon, it was very much the latter quality that i witnessed as a young woman. If we had the arising true truth of ourselves via role models that held their own grace, honour and sacredness as women, then from that female movement our entire world would have shifted the needle back towards balance.
Yes power makes us think of being strong, though, doing it alone, concurring etc. but what if power is also in understanding each other, not reacting to each other, working harmoniously together with ease, not gossiping, allowing to show our fragility or tenderness?
Gentle reflections of who we truly are, are always supportive, ‘The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.’
It is beautiful to experience the relationship you describe, ‘they are two women who simply feel the flow, what is needed and can feel how well they work together and get things done.’
The work we can do with another has no limits. When we connect to who we truly are and express from there we share with another nothing short of the universe.
We have people who share places and goals, but do we actually have true togetherness at all? For how often do we work with others feeling the true purpose of our project is to build our connection?
The support and intimacy shared here is a real standard setting for all of us, imagine being in our relationships where we are curious and not critical and where we support each other to be all we are in everything, where we learn from each other, where we grow with each other … this is true relationship and it’s all of our birthrights.
Monica, you make a great point here, and it makes me reflect on ALL of my relationships and ask the question of how much am I allowing the other to be who they are and supporting them to grow but also being open to learning from them equally so. I know I do this to some degree, but not all of the time and not to this depth. Hence this and the essence of this article reveals to me the next step for me in relationships 😉 Thank you!
In a dog eat dog world where so much competition can be found in the work place this is truly refreshing to read!
I think the way the word power is used can sometimes convey a sense of hardness, forcefulness or pushing through to get something done in the negative sense without consideration for the quality of what is being done so great that you offer us here a different meaning for the word power, bringing it back to a quality in how we are with one another, one that is of our true nature.
Yes, the girl power of the Spice girls was one of action, of toughness, of not being taken advantage of. Yet if you consider any of those women and the tenderness that lay beneath the image, there was no toughness and I would hazard a guess that their greatest strength came when they were at their most vulnerable and honest with each other.
I love what the NZ prime minister is reflecting as a woman in power. She is just herself without any toughness – that is where our power lays.
These are some key ingredients for a healthy working relationship – “There is curiosity and not criticism, and we remind each other of playfulness and joy. We allow time to learn and to experiment.”
I manage a few teams within our business, and I love working with another person on a project.
It becomes simple, there is no power struggle – just an equality and appreciation that we bring different things to the project but we are totally in equality when we do so.
This is lovely and inspiring for other women, and yes, ‘The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments.’
This permission to communicate with each other in such a dedicated way, ensuring you learn what is respect and disrespect is something we can bring in to our relationships with our children and perhaps what we missed in our own upbringings to have to learn it now as adults.
I was at a sound group yesterday with a small group of gorgeous women. The honesty, intimacy and support we experienced as a group was true ‘girl power’ but it was very natural and not at all forced. We enjoyed each other’s company immensely appreciating the qualities that we each brought and I went away feeling like I had experienced something that is out of the norm but really it is something that shouldn’t be!
A power couple does not exclude others but has the capacity to support others.
The use of the word power has been bastardised to mean a force and a pushing to get one’s own way. You describe beautifully how a flow can be with a group of women where they feel equal and can openly share their feelings without any fear of judgement or ridicule. If offices ran like this I’m sure exhaustion would be reduced and output might even rise!
The power of women working together can never be underestimated. I have a beautiful and deeply supportive relationship with another woman which is super productive whilst also being lots of fun.
These are great points and much of it applies for men working together and mixed teams as well.
Relationships where we share how we are feeling without the need to indulge, how interesting – I hadn’t even considered the need to indulge to be present in my conversations, yet when I look at many of my conversations (dare I say most) I can see the indulgence – the need to go over the negative emotions, the things I don’t like about what I’ve done, what I’ve eaten etc. etc. – what will it take for us to wake up, drop the self-abuse and celebrate ourselves as women in every step that we take?
“we are learning not to accept our status quo” this is beautiful as I have found in my relationships with women that there is always more depth, intitmacy and openness to go to.
I like that you are learning no to accept the status quo but take you own inner compass so to speak to guide you to have a true and open relationship.
As I was reading the start of this I realised that there are not many situations that I can reflect on that show women genuinely working together and fully supporting each other to be all that they are. So often dynamics, comparisons, gossip and jealousy can come in so easily. We need to ask what we allow to get in the way of true harmony between us.
Yes, and the sad part is that we are all so capable of working together and can do it with such ease but are so easily distracted by what does not work or what we do not like that then hinders us to see the ease and flow life can be.
When we seek complications we are saying less to the potential of the relationship. Everyone bring is their bang!
How true, these distractions are what keep us separate, in comparison and judgement of one another.
I work closely and run a company with another gorgeous woman. She is also a dear friend and my neighbour. We are a power couple and what we bring together is huge. Our relationship has had its ups and downs and at times has been very testing for both of us. But we always come back to our purpose together.
Without the purpose it’s likely I would have given up long ago. Purpose is indeed deeply unifying.
It is something we should speak more of when things get tricky or seem to get in the way so there is a unifying way forward. From that place it is easy to get the personal out of the way or face it head on in order to get it out of the way.
From my experience in this situation, when I came back to purpose, all that had got in the way simply melted away. Things still come up and stuff that isn’t true tries to get in, but I have been very clear in my commitment to our purpose and set a standard in our relationship.
I have heard this more and more and therefore we should keep talking about it so we can share with others how we can make the connection to purpose the impulse that brings us out of the ‘issue’.
Great point Lucy. We can spend a lot of time trying to work out the issue but perhaps that not where we should be taking the focus. Focus on the purpose and the issues loose their clout.
True purpose overrides self.
It is beautiful to read of your experiences of working together in this way, supporting each other to evolve, it sounds like great fun as well as being efficient and productive. So many women work well when they are appreciated and if that appreciation comes from another woman, even better, regardless of who ranks higher.
“Where you can share how you feel without the need to indulge,
where you can be fragile and vulnerable without feeling shame or a failure,
where you can express anything without feeling judged, with an open heartedness between you where there are no walls of protection.” I love this, these are some of the things that can affect us and hold us back from being the powerful women we deep down know ourselves to be.
Working together is about what is needed and not about who has the say, leads or otherwise wants to dominate. It is about purpose and for purpose and the little self and its antics best be outed and held accountable for – delays, power struggle, one-up-womanship, jealousy, competitiveness and so on and so on.
What I love about what you share is the complete absence of toughness and instead the open heartedness that allows you to continually deepen your intimacy and the power of both of you working together.
” how we as women can be together and support each other. ”
This is so wonderful the power of presence can be seen in the photos thank you.
Girl Power for me comes with a bolshy, in your face kind of attitude. This is far from how I have experienced true power which is very delicate and humble in essence.
very true Nikki, there are sadly many role models in this world that bring false version of what the true essence of a woman is. There is great power and strength in delicacy, transparency, sensitivity and openness.
I recently saw a Facebook post on women demanding the right to be able to go topless just like men can. It’s a logical argument and you could fight for women’s rights. But do we in fact want this “right”?
Wow Nikki, that is really full on of we feel into how delicate and tender women are and how sacred our breasts are. I used to think I did not have a problem in having my breasts out on the beach f.e but in reconnecting to myself I have realised that I have always been uncomfortable with that underneath the bravoure and male energy I was living at that time.
‘We are not talking here of power in a dictatorial, or adversarial, or even ‘macho’ way, but power in a way where there is flow, an equalness, and where things get done; where there is an intimacy in it’s true meaning:’ Our concept of power truly does need to be redefined because the first power you are talking about is hard, protective, uncompromising and insular that keeps everyone else out. In the second power you talk about, there is an openness that is all-encompassing, appreciation, gentleness and wisdom and dare I say it – love!
I prefer the second!
I recently saw a video on the Girl to Woman Festival, which was deeply moving. In the video I could see the power of what it is of women being very tender with each other, connecting with one another and being themselves. No matter what environment we are in be it home, work this level of connection provides the foundation for amazing relationships to be built.
I saw some of the videos of the Girl to Woman Festival also. What was unmistakable was the sparkliness of every girl and woman in their celebration of themselves. When we connect to the truth of ourselves, that is where our power lies. And in that same place is endless joy and beauty.
Yes a conversation in how we are working together and breaking down the comparison, jealous and judgement that seems to be laced of the work environment. To be able to appreciate ourselves and what we bring then supports us to see what others bring. We all have a unique quality that we can bring to our work and it is about embracing those within each other together.
I can sense this could be the answer in making work a joy instead of a drag. Working together as one and in loving support of one another will change our workplaces for sure into a place where we can prosper and grow instead of a place where we only are because we need to have an income alone.
Reading this today I can see that when we share with another how it is being around another person we learn about ourselves too. We can be so embedded in a pattern of self abuse, that we are unaware what we are doing is abusive at all. The way we speak is one of those ways and it is only by the reflection of others that we can stop to consider the way we speak has an effect on another person.
There is no question that our thoughts carry an energy that can be felt, we have all experienced that but tend to deny it because we can’t have proof of what we felt. It is so subjective. Yet, the harm is done to lie dormant till it is triggered again.
This is so inspiring. Calling out anything is not love within your connection is such a loving thing to do. It is something we may feel is easier to work on in our relationships within our personal lives, but our working relationships are actually no different, and we usually spend more time with the people we work with than anyone else. A great way to respect and confirm each other in your working lives.
When we work together in a relationship of sisterhood and equalness with one other this builds a foundation for working with everyone else.
How beautiful it is to be curious of the world and the connections we hold because it drops the facade of needing to be liked and allowing jealously and or comparison to play its evil game and we are then open, playful and expanded by others and life unfold in a very different way.
I loved reading about what is possible when women work together without any comparison or jealousy, thank you for sharing the harmony, truth and sisterhood you both have committed to in your relationship.
Yesterday I was at a place with lots of women and I noticed how most are casting around glances in which the other women are ‘sized up’. It is super quick and possibly even one without awareness. I used to do this to, I would meet a women and the first thing I would do is ‘asses’ the women to see where we stood and what the competition would be. This was also not done in awareness, it is a split second in which enormous amount of communication is exchanged. Yesterday I simply observed it in the other women towards me bt I did not enjoin and stayed completely open and transparent. The interesting thing was that it could not be maintained by most. To me this showed how we keep this going between us and it takes only one to make the change.
When we can let go of comparison and the jealousy that can come with it, our relationships can be so much more intimate and purposeful. By not allowing comparison and jealousy in our relationships we create a space to truly connect on a very intimate level in which we inspire one another to become more of that what we already are.
Yes this is the key, to see the love in ourselves reflected back in the love in another regardless of what is being played out.
Yes Lucy, this is the key, we are from love, we all are and in understanding this reality we cannot else than see this in everybody we meet regardless of anything that is played out.
And whilst I am here…what an amazing pair of photographs. No edge, no agenda, no hidden stuff, no judgement or protection. Makes me melt.
I love the expression “curiosity not criticism” in that it is very beholding of an absolute equality between the two of you. Glorious to feel that in this blog and also to feel the power of that unity.
Such a gorgeous reflection to be appreciated and celebrated thanks Jane, especially about having a ‘curiosity’ and not a ‘criticism’ for any situation. Curiosity very much invites playfulness – and who doesn’t want more of that when working on anything?
I agree, Sandra, curiosity and playfulness are the perfect antidote for judgement and criticism.
What still amazes me is that the relationship keeps deepening and deepening. And whenever we don’t do that we get that reflected in the quality of our relationship. Whenever one of us thinks ‘oh I can skip this and don’t share that detail about our relationship we have opened the door for complication.
I am grateful every day for the amazing relationships I have been building with so many beautiful women.
Yes.. when we gloss over something that we’ve felt but decide to hold back for fear of rocking the boat, it usually comes back around to show us that it is/was important, through some form of complication later! I’m learning that it’s far better to express, no matter how awkwardly it comes out, and clear the air, rather than hold onto it which gets in the way of the natural flow of communication and working together. Whatever I’ve not expressed but am still holding onto is still felt by the other person anyway, so I may as well just go ahead and get it out there.
I agree, Elizabeth, power couples transcends age, they simple have the power to reflect evolution to the world.
There are women at work that I love working with, I feel the mutual love and respect between us and we work together supporting each other to get the job done. I reflect to these women that it is not just about getting the job done but the quality in which we do what we do and they reflect to me other things depending on the woman. Win, win situation for all.
This is a lovely example of the illusion of age and how it supposedly separates us. Deepening connections and allowing ourselves to share openly shows by lived example what a relationship can be like and this is vital if the next generation are to change the patterns of behaviour in relationships that have become ‘normal’.
We are very afraid of being powerful in a relationship because we have come to see it as one person having control or abusing that power with others “but power in a way where there is flow, an equalness, and where things get done” that is something to aspire to in all aspects of our lives and in all relationships.
I love this as a template for how we can start to take notice of the small things, the areas where we let things slide but it builds a niggle that can build into a mountain if not addressed. When you work with someone in harmony it has the most incredible flow and from that point on you have a benchmark for what can be our normal to aspire to in all relationships. We can be that change, not wait for others to be that with us first.
You are both inspirational to so many woman ! It is rare to see such commitment to working together for the greater good in relationships and in personal growth too.
I really appreciate what you have shared here ladies. This blog exposes some of the. false ideas and stereotypes we have about women working together and also some of the issues that can play out. However we rarely hear of women working well together and bringing out the best in each other. I am sure there are many more examples happening around the world and it would be great if they were openly shared so this becomes the norm.
I saw a book today for girls about famous women in history. Which on the surface seems great but the whole push was feminist and thus drive away from princesses etc which to me doesn’t feel great, we often react to something by doing the opposite but nothing changes.
Reading this article I am wondering if this is how women are truly needing to be in life? What I see there is women’s equality spoken about and rallied for and it is needed that women are to be seen as equal to all else. But rarely do we see this equality that most are seeing as needed brought back to the ground in relationship like this. It just seems from what I have read that this level of relationship would see women working and being together in a whole new way. It’s great to see people dedicated to these relationships and also recording it for us all. I can see that this is important in many ways and who knows what impact this will have on us all.
It has long been known that two men working together can be very effective and your blog shows that two women can have a great effect as well – now for mixed gender people working together to show how effective they can be.
There’s little that feels as amazing as working together with someone towards something you know will have an amazing impact on the world. It’s crazy we spend so much time in comparison, or criticising, or bringing people down when it feels so completely amazing to work together.
If we had more of the relationships and more appreciation for these qualities in relationship then there would be far less conflict, dramas and tensions in our relationships.
Many women’s voices have developed an edge and a hardness which has happened as our bodies became hard and we felt we had to push through to get things done. When we return to our natural delicacy and sweetness, our voices have a power that is unsurpassable. It does not dominate, it does not impose, but it can be felt in every cell of your being.
Thanks Carmel this is such an essential understanding, because truth can be shared and felt with out the barbs of judgment, guilt, wrong wright etc.
We need power couples en masse! The inspiration provided by your commitment to each other and intimacy is very inspiring.
Without true sisterhood (one on one), there can be no true brotherhood (one with the many). This gives us a clue as to why there is so much disharmony and lovelessness in the world.
Great sharing thank you Jane and Monika. I have also felt the power of working together with another woman and the true relationship that can be built when we appreciate each other, express honestly and are in the flow of purpose.
It does feel important to open up the discussion about what true power is, just as this piece of writing is doing, because at the moment in general the word power seems to be mostly associated with the acts of dominance and control.
The ‘girl power’ movement in whatever form it takes is definitely not true female empowerment. I attended a recent and most profound presentation by Natalie Benhayon lately which revealed that true empowerment for women lies in not compromising ourselves – our bodies and beingness – in any way. A brilliant summary of this proposition can be found here http://www.womeninlivingness.com/single-post/Well-being-Empowerment
In my experience true woman power when is very tender and supportive but also comes with great authority and a real sense of taking the lead on what is true quality of life that could be lived. It does not involve being hard or tough or competitive or aggressive.
Your words Jane and Monika leave me reflecting that we all have this power, absoluteness, purpose and clarity, but also the potential to diminish and dismiss it and settle for less. This is true in our relationships with others too – we are designed to help each other expand, learn and grow, but are we doing this everyday or settling for comfort and what is not true? You show me we don’t need to try, to judge, to force things to change, just know that we all are so much more than we seem. If we bear this in mind then the only possible direction will be full power ahead.
So true Joseph, we focus on others and what they are doing and bringing and how that is affecting us, but have we considered what we bring and how that is affecting the pool of soup we are complaining about?!
I find it great when two women work together in a power-full way. It is very joyful and the outcomes are truly supportive and excellent.
You two are so super inspiring, having had the pleasure of eating lunch with you both in June I got to see and feel first hand this quality this connection you share and boy is it good to feel when women are so honouring and so holding of each other.
In the beginning, there was One and only one. We then walked away from this expression and then there became two: as represented by ‘here is me and now there is you’. Due to this separation, every time we are presented with the opportunity to form a relationship with another, be it through work, family or friend, we have a chance to reconcile the ‘two parts’ back into the One they originally arose from. This is true Sisterhood and when we all can relate to each other this way we have true Brotherhood – all as One at one with All. Thank you Jane and Monika for giving us a very practical example of what this looks like in very human terms.
Awesome to feel how the two of you work together and how committed you are to nutting things out, calling any abuse out, and so deepening your relationship by bringing honesty and awareness to yourselves and each other.
It is quite rare to read about a women’s friendship like this, thank you for taking the time to share that with us all. The quality feels incredible and inspiring.
Comparison and jealousy can be a killer in the way women are with each other, it totally negates the potential that is there in any interaction. But I love how you’ve showed here how simple it can be to enjoy working together in true intimacy, equality, respect and appreciation of one another and in that we support everyone.
I have had the amazing experience of working closely with a very powerful woman (and student) at work. And wow – what we deliver is huge – but we have also noticed how people totally reject this or hate what is reflected – and rather than seeing this as a knock – what is important is that we deeply appreciate and value each person for where they are at, and continue to do our thing and not hold back. Because what we bring is awesome and as soon as I question it, I am not appreciating it.
It is inspiring to read of what is possible and how relationships between women can deepen and grow with consistent commitment to lovingly not settle for less than the enormity that both can bring, individually and together. This should be the foundation of all relationships for currently they don’t always support us to be all we can be, at great cost to us all.
When we value and appreciate our essence we are truly powerful and it is from here we can then move and connect in any environment we are in with tenderness, honesty and love and that is truly inspiring for all to share. Being a powerful women is connecting to the essence of who we are and then that purpose is then found in our living movements made everyday, showing true service and joy in everything we do and then teamwork becomes more about purpose and not clouded by comparison or judgements made. A very cool way to be.
This sounds to me exactly how it should be. Working together not just making it look like there is a team effort while behind the scenes a secret battle of jealousy and comparison plays out. What a difference having relationships like this would make to our lives daily.
Wow and what a power couple you are . . . powerful and gorgeous!
Being delicate or tender is not usually associated with being powerful but it truly is! It’s in our nature to be delicate, both men and women, and that doesn’t mean we’ll be pathetic or let people walk over us but it can bring a real intimacy to how we relate with one another and a different perspective on life and what matters to us the most…
True girl power is solid and brings order, inspiration, equalness, joy and harmony wherever is shared.
Women certainly are powerful, and even more so when we work together and not tear each other down or being in comparison and jealousy. These are not qualities that foster building each other up and supporting, but create divides and separation.
All women are powerful. Women working together in a true way should be power magnified. But why is this not the case in the world? Instead women are avoiding working with each other and gossip and comparison between women who work together is accepted as normality. We have to redefine what is power. There is no force in what is true power. Why? Because any feeling for force within my body would feel damaging rather than powerful or successful. But what is powerful is when everything comes together as one, in a unified way, there is no push but naturally there is a feeling of working together, and a constant deepening which brings everything to another level and then another level without destination.
The Spice Girls were a pop band that came together to make money, there was not even true friendships amongst them. The girls in the band were in comparison and rivalry at who could be the most famous. They were not good role models for women.
Where as, you are showing how women can work together for the greater good of humanity.
I don’t yet have a relationship like this but can feel the potential of how this would be. I can feel through a lack of worth that there is still a measuring and assessing of whether I will be accepted and so a holding another out. However, you can feel that when you let go of this it opens up to amazing things.
It’s so beautiful to read about how lovingly you both work together. This is truly inspiring and so needed, as we all have something to contribute, and we all have different strengths, and it feels amazing to allow the joy of working together, and not allow any unnecessary ‘complications’ and ‘issues’ to come in. Everything can be talked about, once there is a decision to trust and commit and express honestly and lovingly with each other. This has huge inspiring follow-on effects for all people around you both; or any other women working together in such harmony.
When there is this true intimacy between you, nothing feels like work. The other woman is there, inspiring and supporting the next step, as you are there for her. It all feels quite joyful and effortless when we work together like this. We are often taught as kids to keep our concerns or feelings to ourselves. Yet this open, honest discussion is what allows the relationship to keep going deeper and therefore the work that can come from you both can keep growing.
The greatest power we have as woman is in our movements and the quality of those movements, we can change whole environments simply by being love, in full, no holds barred. We all have this ability and power, yet for most we have never seen it lived and have no role models of how to live with power unashamedly, unreservedly. Thank god for Simone Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon who live every day this power and show us it can be done.
What you both share here is extraordinarily beautiful and inspiring. It shows the power of intimacy in relationships which is available to us all.
I can see how to allow and to say yes to this kind of relationship between myself and another woman would be ever so enriching and how, when it comes to the difficult times of life when things feel like they are too challenging, that honest and supportive relationship would still be there to show that there is more and that we are more and that there is always love.
This blogs deepens the relationship available to women and blows apart the beliefs that the relationship between women in the workplace is competitive, into comparison and undermining. Whilst it is about all those involved bringing honesty and willingness to be fragile, it shows that there is tenderness in the strength of women working in this way together.
Power couples are a great idea and women power couples are particularly needed but they can be any gender combination.
This is such a gorgeous sharing Jane, as it really highlights the power of two people knowing who each other is in truth and bringing each other up to be that amazing. That’s true group work and such a great model for others in the workplace to be inspired by.
Two women who commit to nurturing each other’s power are a true gift to the world. For too long women have fought against each other, when we have so much in terms of resources from within we can offer each other.
Intimacy in the work place is a foreign concept in the world, as when we think about work we always segregate it as a place where there cannot be feelings. We talk business and it’s straightforward and black and white. Work is a relationship just like any relationship and when there is an intimacy built with ourselves, it feels natural to bring this intimacy to everywhere we be, work place included.
Wherever there is a union of love and truth, be it within ourselves first or with others, it is here that true power naturally comes to life, resulting in a blessing for all to behold and be inspired by.
Last year I opened my second cafe. When I say “my”, I really mean we….Myself, my husband, my sister, my brother-in law and my cousin. Now its up and running it is mainly run by myself and my cousin, both women, with lots of support from my husband from a distance. On staff we have accidentally hired nearly all women. They are all incredible and I love working with these amazingly talented, hard working fun team, we have none of the typical things go on that are stereo types for women, we don’t bitch at each other or gossip, we get the job done and have lots of fun whilst doing it. Each day I feel the power!
Many of my inspirations in life are truly powerful women who have claimed themselves in all their glory.
Girl power by itself is limited once a certain age is reached but it can be great fun to express that aspect at times.
The term ‘girl power’ feels condescending and belittling in contrast to what you describe, i.e. women working joyfully together in equalnes and with transparency. You and Monica feel absolutely like a power couple and thank you for the inspiration.
Lovely to feel your appreciation for what you both bring to your working relationship and also that you support each other with your shared commitment to working through anything that arises. What is clear is your willingness to work through any issues that come up allows your relationship to evolve for everyone’s benefit.
So beautiful to hear about and feel the powerful connection you both have when working and being with eachother -Jane and Monika. What you have described is true women power at work, where there is no jealousy, comparison or judgment. Instead you hold each other in equalness, understanding and love.
If we can set aside our compulsion to compare ourselves with each other and add purpose to the mix we will be sorted – and super-powerful.
I have discovered that as I deepen my intimacy with another woman, it exposes all my other relationships where intimacy is lacking and thus offers an opportunity to deepen them too. Bringing intimacy into one relationship opens the gate to intimacy in all our relationships.
I have been recently building a similar relationship with someone I am working with and am finding there is no end to the depth of intimacy that is on offer. It is a constant deepening when we remain open, truthful and loving with each other.
I really enjoyed reading how simply women can work together – what in inspiration for us all to understand that there can be harmony no matter what the task at hand. When women bring it back to appreciating themselves, what they do and others, then all the stuff that is not us cannot get in the way and we are left with working in a quality that is very powerful.
I used to love the spice girls and their spunkiness, looking back it’s obvious that there was a stance of “us against the world” rather than telling the world that a woman in her power can yes be spunky but it’s the way she walks, talks and moves that changes the world – no fighting or stances are needed.
When I was younger I resisted all opportunities to be with and work with women, and my excuse was that women were emotional, dramatic and unsupportive, a picture that tainted what women teamwork were to me. In shutting out working and being with women, I am in no doubt also shutting out myself as being a woman. When I could let go of the pictures I held of what a woman was, I began to feel an intimacy never felt before with women. Not only did I want to be closer to women, I began building an intimacy with myself never felt before, and that is a relationship that is on-going and forever deepening. I now love being a woman and being with women in work as well as in play.
Congratulations Jane and Monika, it sounds as if you have a working relationship/partnership that would inspire many. Outing each other and not standing for abuse, in any form, takes a great deal of love, love for each other and love for yourselves. You are both a testament to your livingness, of how bringing truth to your every choice, supports and evolves you further, which is what relationships are all about, evolution.
Thank you Jane and Monika, Reading your blog has allowed me to appreciate a power couple relationship I am in. As I take time to deeply appreciate this I can feel how gorgeous it is to feel the space that we both hold each other in when we are together, so deeply honouring and respectful.
“There is curiosity and not criticism, and we remind each other of playfulness and joy.” Playfulness and joy are super important in all relationships, there maybe times in any relationship where there are issues that come up to clear, but if we can keep it playful it stops the tension building up and allows space for an open discussion
‘The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.’ A beautiful example of how we can be in relationship with each other and deepening our intimacy with no concern about judgement or perfection.
I am part of a group of 12 or more women in my city who work together voluntarily and outside of / in addition to our regular work to produce monthly and biannual wellbeing events for women in the greater community. We’ve been working together in this way for several years and despite initial bumps along the way the quality of how we are together and what we can produce together is quite remarkable. I hadn’t considered that this was offering us and all women in the paid workforce a template for a new way to be in our day jobs but after reading this blog I can see how important what we are doing together – no, what we are being together – is.
What you describe Monika and Jane is beautiful. The absolute synergy and harmony two women who work together can have and brings, regardless of job title, when the intimacy between them is unimpeded by competition or comparison. This is definitely a conversation to be encouraged.
Two or more people working together with a shared purpose is very powerful and should be appreciated as having a much wider effect than it may appear.
When there is no comparison and jealousy in our relationships but acceptance and understanding then there is harmony in the workplace.
We have mis-used the word power in so many ways especially when it comes to women. It is not about strength or getting things done, all these things come naturally when we are able to work together harmoniously and with a loving understanding.
I find it saddening how much women and men bitch about and gossip about each other, for this example we shall say at work, be it paid or volunteered, though it’s through life. There is a huge lack of support and getting behind one another in all fields of work across the globe. Jealousy, seeking recognition, to be better than other people, the look at me syndrome, and comparison is rife. Work and the world would be a very different place if we worked together bringing our own unique qualities to get what was needed done with no self in the way. A simple what is needed and doing it.
We have recently set up a second café, I have been in charge of the daily running’s, menu, rosters and staff hiring. Purely by accident we seem to have ended up with a 90 percent female team. We have one male working out front and then the only other men are teenage boys that help with pack down and dishes. Customers often comment on how well we al work together, there is no jealousy and an absolute harmony between us all. Some men that have tried out for positions there or step into the situation have struggled and seemed to find it difficult to deal with all the power and harmony between us. One Chef was upset that we didn’t use the usual kitchen rule of saying “behind” when we are behind someone, he begun shouting very loudly and telling us we should be doing the same but we hadn’t needed to as we are all so connected to each others bodies that we seemed to flow seamlessly around one another.
Anonymous, I have witnessed that too, whilst working in a busy kitchen, the ‘seemless flow around each’, it just shows how connected we are, and how consciously present we are whilst working. Imagine if we were all like that all of the time, everywhere we went, the entire world would then flow in harmony together and great things could be achieved. Just like the building of the pyramids!
I love the idea of power women working together in equality. This is so needed in society – that women work with each other to support each other rather than compare. What a needed shift in how we are as a humanity.
I often find that between myself and another woman, there can be this kind of bond that is willing and capable of handling just about anything. We can talk straight to the point and address any issue quickly and without fuss. In the far distant past, I also would have spotted this relationship between us and allowed it to go unappreciated, which would often lead to it subsequently falling apart. I have learnt now though to always appreciate the great gift that is another human being who is willing to be so strong and inspiring and to stand by my side.
What a great understanding you have both brought to each other and the truly powerful way in which you work together… I agree that the ‘rough-tough’ image of women in power is not at all warming or inviting and yet the intimacy and real connectedness you describe sounds lush! When I was at high school (up until the year 2000) there was a big focus on the ideal that ‘Women Can’ translating that we could do anything that we wanted but there was never a mention of doing it together… What a great aspect this understanding would have brought to us as young women.
It’s awesome that you have so much to share about your relationship with each other at work, completely different to the norm where in workplaces colleagues tend to have fairly in-personal relationships and a lot of the conversation throughout the day is underlined with office politics and judgement, jealousy, frustration etc. etc.
It is certainly very powerful and joyful to work together in harmony, trust, openness, love, truth and equality – in such a working environment miracles become the normal. I am blessed to have such a working environment with a team of other wonderful people and dear friends.
Growing up it always seemed to me, that it was women who were close companions and friends, sharing intimate details and gossip whilst men stood awkwardly next to one another or ranted about sport. And yet today I have come to see that it is actually incredibly rare to find women who do not judge and compete, belittle, and make snide remarks, women who you feel unequivocally are on the same team. This is what I am starting to see with amazing women like you Monika and Jane, and wow it truly gladdens my heart. For this is true female leadership, to bring together your essence that is naturally there. To me this is world changing and an open way of being that truly does work.
I could really relate to working with another woman in such a way and yet at the same time not appreciating such relationship. For me gossiping and back-biting doesn’t do anyone any good and is just pure harmful. At times when I go into blaming of another it’s not long before I ask what my part to play in the situation and it no longer becomes about being upset with the other. To have a work colleague that doesn’t engage in such behaviour – how does this affect those I work with?
“The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.” How inspiring Jane and what a different world it would be if we as women all supported each other in the way, pretty amazing I say.
‘ if we feel abuse in the other we name it – not in a finger pointing way but in a way that allows the other a true gentle reflection to realise that this behaviour is not who they are.’ This is what allows us to evolve, always coming from a place of love and care for ourselves and others.
I have always worked with women, and have been involved with every aspect of the dynamics women bring, and in my last position of manager in a retail store I feel I put It all into action, and we had a really harmonious relationship, we are friends to this day. Now I work with a male and I am very aware of the power I walk, and the presence I am, as it occasionally brings up a reaction in him, not verbal but I see his discomfort as I hold myself as an equal and I don’t hold back. I’m loving the opportunity to relate from this loving authority in my body.
I used to be a massive fan of the Spice Girls, but looking back you are correct there is a toughness and an us against the world vibe going on, which is no where NEAR as powerful as if we actually all work together.
To read and see women in connection with each other instead of the usual undermining of one another is very refreshing.
There is a line in the blog, where it talks about equalness… between the CEO and the PA, or the cleaner and the sales person. We are all people, equal members of humanity, and we all have a role to play that is equally important in this world.
I love this blog, I have found from working with other powerful women that there is an acceptance and great appreciation, when we allow one another to work from our strengths there is a cohesiveness where everyone helps each other without any need to ask and there is a great appreciation of one another in the support that is offered and as you have already said without any judgement or comparison. This is very different to other working environments where it feels like everyone is out for themselves.
I have not found it easy to be open and trusting of other women in my past but I am pleased to say this is changing and there is always opportunities to go deeper. Although my day-to-day work involves working with my husband and a young man it doesn’t mean that I cannot commit to a relationship with a woman deeply where we can check in to see how we are and what is going on for us in our lives. I can come up with excuses but essentially I am avoiding and holding back from being in an intimate (in its true form) and loving relationship with another women.
As women we so underestimate our true potential and the power we hold just by being ourselves and appreciating ourselves. We are all truly amazing and if we understood this fully, our workplaces and well-being would be transformed. Thank you both!
I have had the great fortune of working side by side with a woman who is very strongly claimed in herself of late. And wow for what this working relationship has inspired… I have been called to go far, far deeper in my relationship with myself, my commitment to work, and indeed this has rippled into many other aspects of my life.
This relationship has been, and is, deeply inspiring, and is now touching on the strength you speak of Jane and Monika – an alignment to a strong sense of purpose, that when shared with another woman, actually feels completely indomitable. There is simply nothing that could shake it, or the power that comes from working together.
We simply do not appreciate or acknowledge nearly enough, what is available to us, if we choose to really ‘go there’, and commit to working together, each taking responsibility for their own part, and ever-open to what the other brings.
Such strong relationships take a great maturity and awareness within oneself, on the part of each person involved – regardless of age, job role, and the rest. The key word I get from what you’ve shared here Jane and Monika, is ‘responsibility’ – take full responsibility for oneself and one’s place within a working relationship, and we cannot all but benefit, and actually learn the greatness that ensues when needless amounts of self-driven agenda are out of the way. We cruel ourselves as women if we behave any less than this.
Jane and Monika, it is absolutely awesome that you’ve shared this. The equal way in which you hold each other can truly be felt – and the strength of this alignment in working together as women, without comparison, pecking order, or any unnecessary dynamic, is tangible. I am deeply inspired to share this with a group of women I work together with on a global project also. We have come a long way in our relationships together, and your blog feels to offer the marker for where we can all now truly stand.
Anything less would be a diminishment to us all. Thank-you.
This is inspiring how you work together harmoniously and powerfully as women, and bring support to each other at the same time, helping each other evolve.
What I love about this blog, is that it does not promote powerful relationships between women as if they were anything other than women who have the strength and the power to be vulnerable with eachother.
Reading through this blog I was remembering all the times in my life where I experienced working with another woman where there was a natural flow and a feeling of working together in harmony and how productive and fun it is to work in this way. True productivity occurs when there is no energy being wasted on being in comparison and jealously.
I would highly recommend working in a group also. It’s extraordinary what you learn about yourself and each other when it is purposeful, connected & fuelled by love.
‘The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.’ This level of commitment in a relationship is deeply inspiring. The world is so amazing when you know yourself and each other AND you work together. 🙂 🙂
In the past I was always more comfortable in my relationships with men than I was with women, and mostly because I (unconsciously) felt the competition that occurred between, and with other women, that I didn’t find with men. So I can now see why in my past I avoided these truly intimate relationships because I was too worried about being shown up (in terms of being better or worse than) than I was at exploring and appreciating what other women had to offer. In the past few years, I have been learning to be inspired by other women instead of judging and criticising them and in this I have begun to develop some amazing powerhouse relationships with other women – this includes work, friends and also my daughters (!). When I go into jealousy, resentment or gossip etc now, it’s a sure sign I’ve forgotten to appreciate them and me!!
‘The power of women working together’ may not fit neatly into a catchy Spice Girls tune but it is certainly capable of changing the world. I can see very clearly that the perceptions I have had of power have always been along the lines of dominance, aggression, ability to make others do what you want them to do (manipulation) etc. Your beautiful blog and inspiring relationship with Monika shows that power is very far from this, divinely simple and very beautiful.
Yes, working together with another and what can be achieved is amazing. All is so unique of course with each different person but the feeling of power and joy is the same. I love this with each different client I see. No matter who if I connect and work with them what can be achieved blows me away nearly every time. I do not have to know them but just work together beside them and listen intently and connect to what they are requiring. Time and time again proves to be somewhat miraculous and work is a lot of fun through simple connection and power that is just there. The power is that they either come to the answer or I do by them responding to how I connect to them.
I agree with you Jane and Monika, and this can be done with people you may not know.
Jane and Monika, your commitment and dedication to each other and therefore to the all is incredibly inspiring and powerful. To have honesty, an openness and an understanding for another is essential in any relationship and if I were to work with another woman at this point in my life I am in a much better place than before due to the ongoing support from Universal Medicine helping me to deepen the relationship with self. Thank you both for sharing.
‘The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments’. Very much needed, I agree and what a difference this will make in our places of work.
Working together in harmony with true support and intimacy surely has to be the way we all choose to be and work. ‘We have come to know this as intimacy at work – and that there is a true power to it, something unshakeable, and solid – and we know if we are tasked with something we will get it done together.’
There is nothing more magical than a couple or group of people who work together to support each other to evolve. A support in a way where we stand back to back, stand tall and don’t let anything get in the way or interfere to try make anyone less than who we truly are. This is very different to the current state of society where often couples or teams of people face in at each other and attack, compare and pull down, the total opposite of standing together and cheering each other on.
Jane and Monika you are an inspirational couple for how two women can truly work together.
Being able to express what we feel to each other, even if about the other person but not with blame or reaction is a huge step forward for any relationship, as it begins to allow the relationship to be about clearing any barriers back to a state of harmony. The paradox of coming back – in order to move forward – is a vital part of the understanding that brings a sense of no investment and nothing to achieve. Coming back to qualities like love, appreciation, honesty offer the rock solid foundations for expression that can never seriously disturbed, yet at the same time offer a lightness that it can bring much play-fullness and joy.
Beautiful comment Simon, I very much relate to one specific relationship in my life. Sometimes things have to be broken before they can be mended….. and from that space the clearing begins if both parties are willing, open and honest, which in the end restores the harmony where there was none.
You have brought forward many aspects of being a woman in the world with this blog. The term “girl power” is one. Isn’t it interesting that the expression itself tries to unite two disparate concepts – “girl” is often used as a diminutive term, referring to one who is not yet in her maturity. “Power” refers to the capacity to bring forth all that is needed to any situation, with commitment and unreserved energy.
So what is going on here? Do we say that a girl can be powerful, because not yet in her full power makes her less threatening?
It is an expression that places a limit on power, for however powerful she is, she is just a “girl”.
Why do we not coin the expression “woman power”? Were we (men and women) not ready for that?
Are we ready yet?
Jane and Monika, you are forging something special here.
I felt the power of working together in harmony deeply in your relationship, Monika and Jane. I have the feeling, all goes back to relationship and how we appreciate each other not only for what we do but for who we are.
It’s great to be discussing the power of women in relationships and as you are both saying it is about appreciating each other and the value or qualities you bring and not competing. I get a sense of where you are heading with this article and that is what I can appreciate.
I work with an amazing group of women and men. What we each bring is so very special and as a group, working together for the same purpose, we bring so much more than we could ever bring on our own.
I recently worked in a group of women and I was astonished but the amount of vulnerability I felt. I have been so used to doing it alone, having someone else get involved, take some of the responsible, allowed me some space, it just felt awesome and strange, but ultimately healing.
Working with others and with other women is something that I am still learning. I have lived in a world where comparison, distrust and competition are rife and I have been very used to doing things on my own, it is reliable…in some ways right… I am realising that opening up to more love within myself, means that I do so with others and in particular women. I allow the woman within to be love, I allow the women I meet to feel and appreciate this love also, a reflection.
I can feel the quality when there is united purpose and understanding it feels awesome to work together. I can feel in all my relationships there is more, power, love and potential when we combine and support one another, rather work against each other.
I work very closely with another powerful woman called Nikki. Very often when speaking to customers on the phone I tell them I am Nicola and when they ring back the chances are they will speak to Nikki who is not me but really we are one – so it is the same whether they speak to me or Nikki because as they say in Vietnam we are “same, same, different”. I share this is because people get mixed up with us having a similar sounding name and because we very much work together as one.
This article could be a central piece for International Women’s Day. It is a true reflection of what is possible for women when we are not pushed by comparison, jealousy and low self esteem etc, all of which are a choice that excuses us from appreciating our own unique and beautiful qualities.
I know just what you mean Jane and Monika about working together and feeling the equality to an extent that a loving openness develops that allows vulnerability and true support. These relationships are not only to be appreciated, they are a marker for all other relationships and the ‘power’ that can be used to get things done and inspire others.
We have bastardised many a word away from their true meaning. Both ends of the spectrum are affected by this. Words like power or sensitivity have been emotionally charged and heightened taking away the beauty of each. For behind power and sensitivity, for example, are gorgeous essences that each and every one of us would love to claim as something we are.
It is interesting, because the title was bringing up in me a picture of hard core women being busy with workprojects and showing the world that woen have the same rights like men. In this article, I get to see tender and loving women which do not fight for the rights of women but living in a way wich naturally brings them into equality with men.
Me too kerstinsalzer15 – It is very refreshing to read about women in a way that their power is claimed through their tenderness. We seem to have moved to this extreme hardness that is supposed to be the picture of success, but at the price of loosing what women naturally bring – a tenderness, a nurturing, a love that is equal in all women.
I love this line “We are learning not to accept the status quo” it can appear to be relatively simple, yet it is so hard for many to actually feel and act on. Learning to not accept the status quo, means to look at life differently, challenge what is already set up, what comfort is there and perhaps needs to change. All these things are integral to evolving, in ourselves and in the systems and processes that we have set up in our society.
“And it is sometimes said ‘get a group of women working together and the dynamics are terrible’…” These common sayings can have a huge effect on us as in knowing what is possible for us as women working together. When we do not discern if it is true it can be very evil in the sense it holds women from working in harmony together which is very possible. It would be far better to say something like ‘women working together bring a huge power and is really beautiful’, that would be truly empowering for women. As is this blog!
Such sayings make sense when some people are afraid of women being in their power, which is much easier for women when they work together. They are ugly sayings.
gorgeous Ariana. A power couple work in joy, in the knowing of their power and the purpose they are serving, the bounce off each other, inspire each there and bring revelations together.
Well said Brendan – we only need to take an honest look at where competition is taking us. Are we as humanity unified? Are we as society or country or even as a private person reflecting true harmony, or are we just looking after our own interests, putting up a facade and playing the game.
I agree Brendan, we have lived in separation from each other for long enough, and you are right, it never worked. So where do we go with that I ask myself? Back to basics, a connection with ourselves first, an acknowledgment that everything is energy therefore there IS no separation, and taking responsibility for every move that we make by being the love that we truly are. A tall order and challenging maybe, but the rewards are immense, we get to feel true love and the return to living in brotherhood which is our innate, harmonious natural way.
How many of us are not bringing the honesty to let ourselves feel the staleness in some of our relationships? Many of us probably felt/feel (consciously or unconsciously) not equipped or not ready to deal with this staleness. Allowing the awareness of this feeling is a responsibility, a blessing, there is gold waiting to be unfold from it.
beautiful Alexandra. Staleness means that there can only be gold waiting, another level of awesomeness in a relationship if we are willing to go there.
These days I would certainly use the qualities of flow, equalness, intimacy, simplicity, joy and getting things done to describe what a power relationship/couple is (genders apart)
it totally make sense Jane and Monika – what a great, joyful and needed blog – . Thank you
As a little girl I watched my mother and her sister work in the kitchen preparing a meal for our families. I didn’t put words or thought to what I witnessed, but it was beautiful, There was a surrender, support and a harmony that was magical to witness. The meal fed me for a night that vision will nourish me for a life time.
What a beautiful reflection that your mother and her sister gave you Concetta, yes, one that will feed you for a lifetime. Innately we all know what is feels like to work in sisterhood, we just have to get all that other ‘stuff’ out of the way first.
I love what you have shared here Concetta, we all know the difference between harmony and disharmony, we may not always be conscious of it, especially if we are living in a pattern of abuse, but nevertheless our bodies clocks the difference. Your appreciation of what was reflected to you is deeply felt – thank you.
A true evolving relationship is one where abuse is not accepted from one another.
There is mutual respect, deep connection, and true transparency. Together you surrender to allow the volumes of universal intelligence to come through you, to serve humanity. And that is what we can all bring, when self doesn’t get in the way.
I once worked in a laboratory where there were 42 women and 3 men – walking out of the lunch room I would brace myself for the knives that were about to hit my back!
Working with women can be a challenge as we choose to live from crafted images that cover up false beliefs of lack of worth which paves the way for judgement, jealousy and comparison rather than appreciating our innate beauty and living and sharing form there.
As I have allowed myself to focus on who I am rather than who I am not it s a natural process to appreciate this in everyone – men, women and children.
I work in a shop a couple of days a week and in the time I have been there I have seen women’s relationships flourish which is really lovely. This blog reminds me to continue to open and express myself and appreciate what we have and continue to deepen these relationships.
I love this, its like a breath of fresh air to share this with another – “The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.” Pure simple, divine.
For that is what we are jeannettegold, pure, simple and divine, we have just built up layers of protection around our divine essence, but this protection is like an shell, it can begin to crack when we let go of those layers, open up and let people in, and just be the love that we innately are.
Let people in and also let our pure, simple divinity out as well. Then we are free to be and express the love that we are with everyone indiscriminately.
This is a beautiful deep and true connection that we could have so much more in the workplace and in our lives as women and i feel we all know this and miss this depth of connection with other women otherwise. “The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments”. So true ,thank you Jane for sharing this.
It’s amazing that this is an uncommon concept – women working together instead of stabbing one another in the back, or gossiping, or even allowing jealousy and comparison run rampant – how you have written it here it seems so simple
Such a great point Jessica – it is crazy that rather than bringing out the best in each other, we live in a society where there is all about comparison, jealousy and a constant competition to be ‘better’.
It’s true Eva Rygg, even when we are not comparing with other people there can be a tendency to compare ourselves with ourselves, as we strive to be better. As we measure ourselves against our own criteria for success, happiness or whatever we lose ourselves and no longer bring out the best in ourselves.
Exactly Eva – absolutely crazy, and you see it everywhere; in work, in family, in supermarkets, in friend groups, on the street etc etc
I like your question here ladies: “is toughness needed in ‘girl power’ – or in truly power-full women when they are together?” I’ve not really understood the drive to be tough as women – I know we can be, but is this not just copying/replicating the role we think men play – in which case, is it really ‘girl/women power’, or is it just trying to be something that we’re not. If that is the case I’d ask if this was powerful at all?
I truly love what you have suggested here Ariana, for all HR departments to have signs and advice leaflets saying ‘‘Feel uncomfortable? Feeling stale in your workplace? That is a sure sign that YOU need to GROW and develop your relationships” this is gold. Perhaps may make some people react, but there are a multitude of people who are in such comfort in the workplace. That if a culture was being instilled that feeling stale and uncomfortable at work, wasn’t he norm, but an opportunity to deepen relationships, that this was part of your job, this would foster a great difference indeed.
“The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.” What a great line this is, how different our world would be if this was fostered by all women. Who invested in each other, chose to confirm each other, dropping comparison and jealousy, the would would be a very different place.
The real power and joy of women working together shines out with this beautiful sharing and the photos are amazing and shows the depth of truth love and honesty attained together for all to see and be inspired by , thank you for the reflection.
It’s beautiful to feel your developing relationship and commitment to taking this deeper but more so that you have shared it for so many others to feel and have the choice to so the same in their lives and relationships.
The word that came up for me when reading this blog was ‘posturing.’ There is so much posturing between women in the workplace and postures create barriers and barriers cap what can be achieved within the working relationship.
Within a team women will perform different roles but they don’t need to wear these role like a suit when with the team or within their work. 2 women coming together in equalness will perform in their respective roles and together much more effectively than they will when identifying with their roles.
Yes, Kate- I have experienced when work colleagues have come together they have identified with their role, and therefore through their movements (posture) the quality of their expression is not all encompassing.
It is based on protecting their needs first and holding onto security.
This is a great blog as you show the potential of what is very possible for many woman working together. If two can have this symbiotic purposeful, genuine care and support in working together, then a whole department or workplace where many women work together has the potential to bring and establish this in the work place. How incredible would that be to work in a department like that..
Yes alisonmoir, when we allow relationships to stagnate, we are settling for less than what can come from constantly accepting more and more love with each other. That’s true intimacy in relationships and you both Jane and Monika, are clearly showing the way for us all. Very lovely.
Jane and Monika I can feel your deep commitment to allow your friendship to evolve. It is easy to get comfortable and allow things to drift if we allow the familiarity of a friendship to stagnate us. I love how you appreciate each other and what you both bring, this is true power and very inspirational.
I love your comment Alison, appreciation and letting a relationship develop its power does not hold it back, but simply allows it to flourish and grow, for ever evolving to new heights. This has the potential to be so in all relationships when we are completely open to it.
What is felt in this blog Jane and Monika, is true love and support to bring each other to your full potential, not accept anything less, for the benefit of all others in the world. Truly evolving.
From a very young age, even before I entered the workforce, I was incredulous at how there were never any credentials, or training or qualifications required to ‘manage’ people. The poor quality of relationships and interactions in workplaces astounded me. Today as someone who has now been in workplaces for 30+ years, I bring the quality of my relationships with colleagues as a priority. I still observe the poor quality of relationships but now take steps to bring this to people’s awareness and make changes. It is the foundation of all workplaces and sets the standard of the quality of output or productivity of any business or institution.
Jane and Monika, I love this blog and can feel how great it is to be having this conversation and the understanding that no matter what our roles if we commit to being truly honest with each other and appreciate what each brings there is a magic that is possible in how we work and it’s simple and joyful with no striving or drive. This is how we as women can be with each other, anything else is a lesser way of how we truly are.
And if I may be so bold and say that it’s a waste of time not cherishing women in their absolute beauty and grace because we will eventually go there anyways so why wait, we’ve got nothing to loose.
Jane and Monika, I can feel the appreciation you both have for one other and that you both have chosen and committed to deepen your relation whatever comes up, is building that true ‘girl power’ that absolutely does not need andy toughness at all.
As I read this great article it made me wonder how much i remembered in the 80’s how it was assumed that women working together would end up either being competitive and/ or have fallings out at various times. This also used to be my experience, but now over the last few years as I have opened up, I love working with women, there is a deep understanding and love and support for each other without the tension and internal wrangling that used to get in the way before
I agree – there is a stigmatism that women gossip and are bitchy in groups – even at a very young age girls can be very nasty to each other. And yet it doesn’t have to be this way as this blog shows.
Business can commonly be perceived as a ‘mans world’ – where men are seen at the top – able to be tough, make decisions, be powerful, manipulative and not get emotional.
But we forget the qualities a woman can bring – their absolute tenderness and observation that is so needed in true business. This example of 2 women working together is symbolic of that, and shows the power we have and the equality that is there to bring.
Today in re-reading this great sharing by Jane and Monika I’m realising more of late that as I’ve changed to be more open with everyone I meet they too seem to reflect and share so much more of themselves. Keeping open the lines of communication (expressing) seem to be a very important ingredient to stop situations getting out of hand and take the lid off the pressure that builds up so easily which will only fester and put distance between people – if allowed.
I really enjoy connecting with the people I work with and the opportunities i have to learn about their lives and their stories and their ups and downs, it isn’t always smooth sailing, but at always interesting and dynamic. Working through the difficulties and challenges offers a great chance learn about me and others that I work with.
That is key really Nicole, its learning to work through the ups and downs that are key, holding steady to a love and respect of one another rather than going into judgement and criticism. The more we do so the more we learn about everyone, self included and all the different qualities we bring.
Totally agree Rowena the understanding i have this year is far greater than two years ago, because of the work I have done on myself, I look forward to seeing what else unfolds in the coming years.
Well said Ariana, the status quo needs a total makeover, and what is considered ‘normal’ in society needs some serious evaluation. As you said, if 64% of all illness are caused by lifestyle choices then is it not time for us to be looking at how we treat our bodies and why we (all of humanity) are making the choices we’re making.
This is a great article for inspiring women to explore what it means to work together – not simply ‘getting on with it’ but being aware of how they both are with each other. Many work situations present tensions because of deadlines and other time constraints, and working in this harmonious way creates space for greater productivity.
I agree Carmel – working can produce those tensions, because of workloads and deadlines and others various reasons, but there is a choice to be made, one where the relationship you have is a support of the work, or anther added tension.
Yes Carmel, greater productivity and also a greater level of love that can be lived every single day between women. This is a far cry from living with the tension of jealousy and comparison.
Jealousy and comparison can be so covert in work relationships and create and underlying tension and blockage to any free expression and process of change that will naturally allow the relationship to flourish.
That’s a great point Carmel – it’s easy to go into purely functional mode to ‘get things done’ but who said that attending to the quality of our relationships is going to make us get less done whereas quite possibly it could improve productivity and certainly the quality of that product.
I love the photos of you both – strong, powerful and playful too. Makes me want to work with either one, or both, of you. Beautiful.
It is beautiful to work in this way, in equalises with another woman, in that embracing of each other as equals and in unity.
This is a call to us all Rowenakstewart,
“We just need to be prepared to not let anything slide in the quest for harmony and true respect.” One that I am aware of, and one that i shy away from, so for me it is time to deepen my own respect of self and to honour the harmony my body is asking for, to be able to offer the very same in my work place, family, in fact, all aspects of my life.
I agree Ariana, Jane and Monika are forging a new way inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, a way that supports, nurtures and empowers every one. And the rewards can be felt in the effortless quality of teamwork and professional conduct, something that many business coaches would give their all to be able to deliver.
Yes, it is an amazing feeling to have both fun and be productive together. It takes a while getting used because it is so nice.
I loved re-reading this blog, as recently I have begun truly appreciating what happens when women unite and work together in this way and it is powerful. Not just in the sense of what can be achieved but the true intimacy, honesty, love and depth that can be shared. That these relationships can pull us up to be and live more of our true authentic selves. That they are to be celebrated as examples of what true women working together looks like and with the knowing that this is something that lies within the heart of all women and men equally. I love the flow and the equalness that is felt and I love that this is now something we can bring to all areas of our life by us each choosing to live who we are as women.
Well said Brendan, a woman has it all within a natural power and true support yet we live unatural and this hurts us, and our relationships.
This blog shows another way, a true empowerment as women working together.
Women are naturally flowing and powerful…with the wisdom of knowing how to be together and work as a couple or group.
Absolutely powerful blog, bringing a way of how women can be and work together…women can be our worst enemy when we set each up other by comparing, competing, being jealous off. We need to ask what is going within us that we project this onto another woman. Then women can be our best friends, where we support each other, be open and appreciate each other, be inspired, with what each woman brings. It is the most intimate and beautiful experience when we feel safe and open with another woman, where we are simply honouring each other and what comes from that is powerful! True power of women is how we are with each other, and the potential of that….
Awesome advice Ariana! I don’t think the majority of people stop to feel how their relationships at work or at home are going. As this means taking responsibility to call out what needs to change and making the first step.
Very true lorettarapp – question is are we willing to take responsibility to call out what’s needed? This blog brings the awareness that the way we relate to each other, it being at work, at home or anywhere else, can be very different to that which is the norm in society.
That’s amazing Ariana, isn’t it. What a percentage – 6 4 % ! ! ! ! ! Just to have a real look and a bit of feel towards this figure… It is quite amazing, isn’t it. Shocking actually. If it’s due to lifestyle, it means that the quality of our life is in our own life. How? Simply by making choices that support us. And we do well know what this is, don’t we. Expressing and building a foundation not only with yourself, but also with the people we’re working with is a very important one. For a long time I held the idea that my voice wouldn’t help, that people wouldn’t listen, etc. But in choosing (!!!) so, I placed myself not only above anyone else, I actually also gave up on me and in choosing so, gave up on others. I didn’t find myself important enough to voice what lived inside of me – especially in groups. This article is testimony of a different – vital – joyful way. How amazing is that? Simple, definitely. Easy, no. Does it have to be easy? That’s up to everyone to decide. I love evolving, growing, building relationships:-).
So do I Floris, of late I have changed my life in a big way, was this easy? Well yes actually the execution and practical of the physical change has been easy. What was difficult was deciding to accept in full that this change was what was needed. This has shown me deeply that most of our problem when it comes to growth, is in accepting the growth we already feel.
To make a change for good (eternally) requires acceptance from the body. This is not one of my strongest qualities. I really have to take time, sit down (or lay down) and feel what my body is communicating with me. If I give myself permission it’s easy for me to feel and accept (a lot). I’ve found over the years that actually allowing and accepting Love has made the changes almost automatically. And the more Love I choose, the more is revealed and the more I am to accept the Glory and Divine Beatiful Man that I am. Worth exploring and a joy to put into words.
Yes, it is surprising how often it is the co-workers that are the source of workplace strife – not necessarily the employer, though that happens often enough as well.
True Christoph. It also highlights the beautiful impact that we can make in our workplaces as co-workers.
We are all in this together, it is never just the employer, or just the co-worker. We live in systemic dynamics, meaning each person’s behaviour affects the whole group.
Beautiful blog Jane and Monika, you have completely re-claimed the real meaning of “Girl Power” and the quality is clearly evident in both your photos. How glorious to celebrate what we so naturally bring as women, something we do so automatically we fail to recognise and appreciate just how amazing it is when we just ‘get one with it’. The key is in truly being honest, open and supportive of one another so that we eradicate all those intensely damaging behaviours we can get trapped in when we are not appreciating ourselves and our innate gifts. We don’t need to be tough and headstrong, we just need to be ourselves, delicate, sensitive, awesome women who have a great deal of love and commitment to share and express.
I agree Rowena it is our innate qualities that we love and appreciate in ourselves that we bring to all our relationships and work. When we are this we don’t have to prove anything and then the task at hand can be approached with a freshness and the only agenda is what is required to complete. Saves a lot of time and energy.
It’s true we can get trapped in damaging behaviours which feel absolutely horrible. True ‘girl power’ is not allowing this and claiming our true loving selves and living and working in a way that respects ourselves and those around us. It’s nothing to do with competition. Love is the way to go.
Our society is based upon competition but how much more amazingly productive it is when we work in collaboration rather than competition. How silly is society, which is us, to keep extolling the virtues of competition?
Jonathan Stewart I love what you wrote in your comment. I was a sales person and everyday was about selling more than my colleagues – so competition was my daily companion so to speak. Nowadays I look back and asked myself what else had I sold when we had work together instead of feeding our believe that being competitive is what made us successful.
So true Jonathan. We idolise competition and it gives us a cheap thrill and lets so much emotion take over that we aren’t ourselves anymore and don’t see our opponent as an equal human being.
It is amazing how much work we can do when working in harmony is the foundation, when we don’t let self-interest get in the way but have the true care of each other at our forefront.
It is completely bonkers I agree Jonathan, that we extol a behaviour that expends valuable energy and separates people, when in fact it is so natural for us to work together in co-operation and collaboration. So much more can be achieved when we truly put aside the individual and work together on the bigger picture, in service to humanity not self.
I agree Jonathan – our need to compete with each other is preventing so much amazing team work that could be done – that drive to be the best, to come first place and to beat people could be replaced by an desire to work together, to have cohesion and an equal appreciation of others values
We men have already done that, and it didn’t work. Are the women going the same route? That would be a total waste of time. Let’s stop and see if where we are going is a healthy route. Are we truly growing or are we just trying to better and manage in a world we can feel is not working? Let’s come to our sense here and learn from the past choices we’ve made. There’s way too much beauty and stillness and grace to be discovered so looking elsewhere…nope…
Equally crazy is that many people only get paid a commission if they meet their, often unreasonable, targets. Not a very nice way to spend your working day under the stress of competing with others, I agree Jonathan.
I love the commitment these women have shared in not relying on the “comfort” of where their relationship is at but willing to go deeper which becomes a blessing for both in their relationship and has the scope to then filter into their workspaces.
Yes nb “….becomes a blessing for both in their relationship’ because as you say they are willing to go deeper…when we are open to each other there is a natural power that flows, but we can block this by allowing competition, comparison and jealousy to get in the way, which is often due to our own insecurities, self esteem. But if we allow ourselves to be with another woman/women in openness then those negative emotions dissipate and we feel the power of intimacy and flow.
I agree Natasa; if we rely on the ‘comfort’ of our relationships as they are then there is no room to evolve and no opportunity to deepen the support and care within the relationship. It’s amazing to observe couples, families, friends and colleagues who are totally committed to constantly seeing how their relationship with one another can expand further, and how they can have the greatest impact on others through support and reflection.
This feels like the third door option for women that feel the need to move forward in their development. The first and second door hasn’t delivered any true goods where the first is the same old where women hasn’t been honoured for what they deliver at work, pay lesser than men, having to prove themselves to get the same benefits as men, and so on, and the second option has been to join the male driven world which obviously doesn’t work for either men nor women. So this feels like a fresh option which men also could benefit from. Thanks Jane and Monika
Matts I love the fresh clarity of what you have shared.
I agree Matts – the true power of women is something that benefits everyone equally, men and women alike.
What I got from reading this is how we can look at relationship with the opposite sex with different eyes, yet the commitment and love needs to be there regardless. Calling out what is not love and building on what is, is the foundation all relationship needs to be built on. Where we go wrong is to think that one relationship is of higher value then another. In doing this we may miss the power couple and purpose a relationship and in turn the blessing of how it is to work in true harmony with another women.
That’s beautiful said Kim. What is braught to my attention is the fact that all relationships are constantly evolving. That life is about that in fact. To re-turn to the Love that we are. Letting go of choices that do not represent that Love. And that we learn so much by reflection. In every relationship we can hold each other in comfort and control or we can support each other in growing the Love, enjoying more and more together the True us. How amazing is that if that will be the basis of every relationship. Sooner or later this will be the standard in life. Thank you Kim, we’re setting the future here.
Kimweston2 I love what you have shared here: “Where we go wrong is to think that one relationship is of higher value then another.” I can say that I was guilty of doing so and I am still sometimes doing it as it is such an ingrained behavior to measure or to compare. Everything what helped me to remind me of doing so is more than welcome as it is the easiest and quickest way to expose such a manner.
This is a beautiful sharing of what a true powerhouse couple are. I’ve been blessed in this life to walk beside women who show these qualities and the work we get done together in our daily lives is nothing short of evolutionary. When women commit to each other in a true sense, true power can be felt and magic co-created.
And you are one of these powerhouses as well and so are your friends.
Well shared Kim, i would say many of us as women have had experiences of moments where we have worked in power and flow with another woman, where we go into sync and there is a mutual respect for each other…but these are moments, we could be living this way so much more and bring back the true woman and true revolution or should i say drop the R and make it Evolution!
Or even Common Sense or … even … Normal.
I feel blessed to have such women in my life too that reflect true power. It inspires me and helps me know my potential.
So true Annie, surrounding ourselves with women who want allow any less then our potential.
I love this too, I now see a road block as a sign, that there is evolution on offer and it’s time to step it up.
Wow, this would be a change in the workplace for sure Ariana! Learning to embrace feeling uncomfortable in respect of it indicating a sign of becoming stale and / or not evolving!
The discomfort is a sign that something needs to be done. Love can then make the expression of what needs to be done simply beautiful – simple and beautiful.
That is true Ariana – that is a really “clear indication that the way we are living is not it.” It will come the time society is really looking for an answer – sadly now 64% seems not to be enough! This amazing blog will be than a great reflection of how a true answer could be.
Yes, the way we are living is not it. What is new that this article shows how to live in a different way. In the past I was well aware what wasn’t right – it is pretty obvious. What I didn’t know was what to do about it, especially after I exhausted all reasonable alternatives that I was aware of.
I love it, growth is a constant. Will never ever stop. Do we ever see a tree stop growing from a year, a month, a season? What makes us different? Or could it be that we are no different than anything else in life, yet the only difference is that we’ve got the possibility of being arrogant by choosing not to be in our hearts and in that delaying our otherwise natural growth. Delaying is the correct word here as we cannot in truth stop our natural growth, we can only delay, deny or fight it.
How amazing would it be if we would all but accept this fact? How different would we relate to each other? As friends, as colleages, as relatives? Beautiful questions to ponder on during easter…
There’s is another way, this can not be confirmed enough Jane. That way is inside of us and right at this present moment lived – to the best of their ability by thousands of people around the globe. And how amazing is it that naturally this group is growing and expanding, all kind of people from all walks of life choosing to reconnect with themselves, with that Sacred place deep within.
I agree Ariana. Sometimes life feels uncomfortable, be it relationships or something new we’re faced with project or otherwise. Discomfort, as you suggest, is a marker that something needs to change, and if harnessed, can potentially lead to growth and learning, even if we don’t know how to at the time. The degree of discomfort felt often reflects the depth of learning needed. It’s an illusion to believe that things going smoothly is a marker that all is well and many of us fall into this trap. Often, shying away from conflict, seeking instead an ‘easy’ only works in the short term. No growth there. Reflecting on our own feelings of discomfort and working with others to bring more understanding can help generate a movement that builds new foundations for relationships to be mutually appreciative.
I agree, Kehinde, it’s easy to gloss over or numb the uncomfortable feelings and convince ourselves that all is well. It is only when we are faced with someone who is living with true vitality and joy that we can feel (uncomfortably so) just how much we are living with complete disregard for our bodies, with low self-worth and with a deep emptiness inside. We can then choose either to be inspired to live the same way, or to give up altogether and drop into depression. Admitting honestly what we feel and talking with colleagues can open up the way for long term change.
I know I have fallen for that before, wanting nothing to be uncomfortable and seeking distractions away from my body that holds these messages of discomfort. The distraction doesn’t make the discomfort go away in ourselves or our relationships, it puts a lid on a pressure cooker that eventually explodes if not addressed. I love what Ariana has shared here in that discomfort is not a message of ‘I must of done something wrong’ or ‘It’s their fault’, ‘It’s my boss, the weather, the traffic etc’ but actually a message to say ‘it’s time to grow’. And our bodies know how to grow without direction from our head, who ever grew up with an internal dialog saying ‘Now it’s time for your milk teeth to come through, now lets start walking and now it’s time for puberty’? My bet is no one, the body just knows.
Dear Kehinde2012,
I to love how Ariana has exposed that feeling uncomfortable is an offer to grow. What i also sense is that we feel uncomfortable because we have already felt the pull to grow, but have been avoiding what we know is needed, as we think that to do so will be challenging. Thank heavens for the uncomfortableness, or we would be forever stagnant.
Yes Leigh we can thank Ariana for bringing this out into the open. The uncomfortableness I feel is a signal that the game of avoidance is up, accepting less is no longer an option. The pull to grow is strong, but there is still some resistance. It’s as if my old sense of self is gone, but the new not yet in place.
Carmel, honesty and being able to share how we’re feeling is important, as is accepting that where we are is where we are. without judgement or comparison.
I find myself in the very same transition Kehinde2012
So true keninde2012. To appreciate that the degree of discomfort felt reflects the depth of learning available is key. It allows us to be much more observing of the changes we are making and to appreciate every step we take.
Only too often I feel discomfort in my body when I feel uncomfortable with what is being said what adds to this discomfort is me holding back from addressing the issue I feel needs to be addressed. This is often followed up by me beating myself up for not speaking up. When I do actually speak up it feels like a weigh has been lifted of my shoulders and I feel light and an expansion in my body.
Very honest sharing Margaret and one that I can relate to. Discomfort our body’s way of telling us to listen and pay attention! Our early warning system. Staying with it until we understand the lesson we’re being offered is fundamental. The burden of not speaking up is far greater than the lightness and expansion we feel when we do.
The burden of not speaking up is huge when I allow myself to feel fragile and vulnerable and stay present with myself the fear of feeling judged or what I have to say is wrong or not important dissolves freeing me to say what is there to be said. It is my own hurts that make me feel this way in the first place as let go of my hurts and am free to be myself and express more of me.
Ariana, this is excellent: “Feel uncomfortable? Feeling stale in your workplace?” – I would add “What can YOU do about the situation? Find out now, ask as how!” 🙂
Love it Christoph. Often the blame / solution gaze goes towards the employer and is rarely turned on the employee.
Yes, the key is that there is often, not always, blame on both sides and if you take a longer view – why did this situation arise in the first place, then blame could in most cases be on both sides and, perhaps, equally so.
I love this Christoph. Yes it all brings it back to taking our parts of responsibility in all facets of life. If there are areas of discomfort or comfort then there is space to express what is felt and learn from there The more we hold onto these feelings that arise the more stagnant and resentful our relationships become. The catalyst for true change comes from our willingness to surrender to truth with honesty and love in all areas of life.
“Feel uncomfortable? Feeling stale in your workplace? …. What can YOU do about the situation? Ask NOW, find out NOW. ” – love it!
Ariana I agree that feeling that a relationship has become stagnant, stale, or like it has hit a road-block a is such a valuable marker but the problem is there is a widely held mis-truth in long term relationships that this is a natural and expected part of relationships. This results in the majority of people in long term relationships, especially with kids, simply putting up with relationships that lack intimacy and connection. It’s a tragedy because our kids are growing up in households that don’t reflect true relationships and so they repeat the same lifeless relationships themselves.
This is a tragedy and makes one ask, so what are we really committing to? Loyalty does not mean putting up with abuse.
It makes sense, though. To deal with issues in a long term relationship can often mean large accumulated resentments that can unload explosively with unpredictable results. It takes a lot of courage to take that risk.
The benefit, though, is that once you get through the accumulated items, there is clarity and in many cases that clarity is love which allows the relationship to continue on a much more trusting and loving relationship.
The first time is always the hardest – if we wait five years, it is much harder than if we get to the truth after just four weeks. It is easier the next time and then easier the next time again as there is a buildup of trust and confidence that in the end there is love. There are no guarantees but the alternative is chronic, long term pain.
Yes so true Alexis and it is also common that people think they cannot go beyond this block so split up, when in fact what it is asking of us is to go deeper, heal the hurts that are stopping us discovering more of who we are and enjoying one another. We are in desperate need of some real relationships to remind us and our children that life is not about giving up or putting up, but about communication, sharing, listening, discovering the way forward together. Challenging at times, but deeply rewarding and forever joyful when the path ahead is illuminated by a constantly open heart and willing mind.
Absolutely Alexis – kids become a product of what we offer them. Something to contemplate when we complain that we have no connection with our kids.
Ouch.
Great point Alexis, the ingrained resignation that marriage or long term partnerships is a marathon that gets more excruciating the longer it goes, allows people to remain irresponsible to a connection that could so easily become a blossoming of love. This only emphasises the importance of living this connection and shining through to others.
Yep Simon so true. We have become so resigned to what we take as fact, that long term relationships are flat, dead and something to be endured, that we often accept the sky high number of people having affairs, as an understandable way to spice things up, in what is otherwise a miserable repetitive existence.
The power of women simply can’t be measured, described or imagined.
Very true Alexis, it is insanity that we try to measure the worth or power of women based on their looks, skills or abilities to do certain things… It is simply not something you can put numbers or a measurement to.
Agreed Susie, what’s a crying shame is that woman quantify their own worth by the way that they look or whether or not they have a partner. And if not those things then by how much they can get done or number of ‘friends’ on Facebook. Basically we, as women quantify our value based on ridiculous made up concepts, whilst all the while missing the fact that if we were to simply just be ourselves then our power and our beauty would be of a magnitude that most have long forgotten.
It’s only when we hold on to an untrue interpretation of ‘the power of women ‘ that we try to measure it and compare it.
Well said Rosannabianchini,
I have felt now that our true power as women, in fact as men or women lies in surrendering, allowing ourselves to be still and fully in our bodies. For here we feel a power that sees all as equal, and calls all to feel the same for themselves, no force, or comparison. Simply, this is me, and it is you too.
A very strong point – and one that makes me stop for a moment and ponder on where do I hold measured images of people that make them smaller as they are?
Felix that’s such a great question. We all hold teeny tiny images of everybody in our teeny tiny storage spaces called brains and end up compartmentalizing every- body and every-thing. We splice life up into crude segments and then label and file it all into categories, never stopping to consider that what we are attempting to divide and describe is the one ever expanding body of God.
Exactly Alexis, the power of women can’t be boxed. There is no end to what a women that lives by the impulses of her soul can bring: beauty, fragility, authority, sexiness, stillness and power.
Even words are, in themselves boxes.
I agree, Alexis. I find it sometimes difficult to express something with words. They often seem to ‘flat’ or two dimensional to express what I mean. When words aren’t used in their true meaning they limit or let us live up to something that is not true. Words are bastardized often and you feel that something is wrong. When a word is used in it’s true meaning I can feel the expansion in my body.
I am working with a woman in our business, and we work in different areas but we catch up regularly. And I absolutely appreciate that we can come to each other and be very open about where we are at and how we are feeling. It reminds me that work is not about profit, but about people, and about relationships, and how powerful this is as a foundation for true business. This woman has been stepping up and up, and changing her life in ways that support her body and the difference I see in her is massive. How cool is it that we both have the opportunity to deepen our relationship and who we are just by having a ‘business meeting’
and how refreshing hvmorden that you view your colleagues stepping up as inspiring rather than a threat.
True Alexis. We certainly can see in business how people who ‘excel’ are seen as a threat. It comes down to the competition we welcome in the workplace where there needn’t be any. Business is a major part of our lives, and also an opportunity to not see it as any more or any less than the other parts of our lives, making relationships the foundation of all that we bring.
There is another whole aspect of growth possible for relationships. As you outline, Ariana we spend so much of our lives at work, why don’t we work at and deepen our relationships with our colleagues as much as the ones with family and friends?
Yes Jenny this is awesome because we spend so much of our time at work, so it makes so much sense to want to build and deepen our relationships at work as they greatly benefit us all. Our working relationships are another family we are apart of too.
Great comment Jenny, we are at work for such long periods of our life. I know that for me, work was always about the doing, feeling the need to prove myself, not about the quality I brought. I have always fostered relationships and now that I have been working for many years in many different organisations, it is the people with whom you remember, the relationships that you forge and develop.
To be able to appreciate that power that we bring to our work has nothing to do with the roles we fulfil is a joy indeed. Reading this blog reminds me that it is the quality as women that we bring and our ability to feel what is needed and respond to this.
Yes to this: Feeling ‘uncomfortable’ being a great sign post for needing to dynamically review and be attentive and honest with all our interactions and relationships (the one with ourselves being the foundation).
Matilda, I’m with you on this. Feeling ‘uncomfortable’ can create openings to look more deeply and understand why. My previously comfortable life suited, but limited me. As I accept more responsibility, the potential for growth is huge, but it can also be unsettling. I continue to observe my discomfort, knowing that this is part of the new. There’s no going back.
Having kept all women at arms length most of my life – viewing them as adversaries and competition in some kind of survival battle in the need to ‘catch’ an alpha male (sounds ridiculous when I write it but there really was some primal habit at play) – I have been blown away by what happens when I surrender to working with women, in full, embracing and embraced. There is an initial melt (of all of the above) and then a really powerful direction, lots of support, lots of laughs and LOTS of purpose.
So true Matilda I too have felt the absolute support and power that is there when I have let my guards and protection down with women. My goodness what a waste of time thinking I would not get hurt or would get ahead by keeping myself separate or competing. There is so much love, playfulness and purpose to be experienced in true sisterhood.
There is so much love, playfulness and purpose to be experienced in true sisterhood. Indeed there is Jenny and I too have experienced this in the past when there was an impulse to say yes to something and was a part of it with 2 other women with the total focus on being what was needed. This felt very natural and lovely.
It is also, cough, very ‘attractive’ for a man to see a woman who gets on well with other women. In my experience it has been quite frightening for me to be spoken to by a woman who is very focused on men – something that is visible and noticeable from a long way away.
Matilda; beautifully, raw, joyful and honest, written by a women in purpose.
Agree Matilda, there are lots of laughs, and a very deep sense of purpose when we let down our own walls and allow ourselves to enjoy the women we are working with.
It’s a great observation Matilda and similar to one I have experienced with other men – how playful and unguarded leading to sensitivity and tenderness in expression when we let go of competition. It is a tangible melting away as you have shared.
I loved what you have shared here Jane. Some relationships with women just bring out the best in us and we can grow together. It is very important to appreciate these relationships, to share the things we value in it and in each other. It was great to read how you have committed to keep deepening this relationship, not allowing it to go stale or allow abuse. This is true friendship and real love.
‘they are two women who simply feel the flow, what is needed and can feel how well they work together and get things done’. This feels gorgeous, feels spacious, and is something we can all have when we learn to trust what we feel and express from honesty, which is indeed a beautiful constellation when women work like this, for they see the bigger picture.
So many of us crave for a relationship that is “peaceful” and does not rock the boat. But where is the love in that? In a truly loving relationship, each partner is dedicated and willing to communicate to the other when they are not being loving or as open as they truly can be. This is not communicated out of a need for the other person to change, but rather out of deep love for the fact that you intimately know the depths and intimacy that person is capable of expressing from.
I lived a lot of my life keeping the peace and not rocking the boat and it feels far from peaceful. When there is not open communication or a willingness to keep expressing, we are trapped in a prison of our own making.
Jane and Monika your blog is a great start to the conversation of women working together because you give a very clear and practical account of an evolving relationship. Calling out what gets in the way of allowing love and respect to naturally flow, by not addressing the person but the behaviour or mood state, brings so much assurance and confidence in how your different expressions can really work harmoniously. No accusation, no personalising and a ‘power play’ that is about honouring the true power within each of us equally, that makes relationships play-full and not hard work and a struggle.
Having the behaviour called out, not the person actually feels very supportive and loving as we can have blinkers to auto-pilot reactions. It reinforces that anything that is unloving is not you, therefore nothing to react to or feel ashamed of.
“It feels time to start a conversation about women at work – in particular women in groups or power couples – so that we can start to see these for what they truly are and to celebrate and appreciate them; to fully claim that there are women in our working lives that we feel to work with, but maybe we have held back in doing so. The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments.“ Very inspiring to read this, thank you Monika and Jane for sharing!
It is magical when we amongst women start to deeply appreciate each other and from there build a foundation to work with each other. However this requests a deep honouring of ourselves in the first place.
I agree kerstinsalzer15 we need a deep women/girl self honoring program – so we as mothers are capable of starting such a wonderful program . . .
So true Kerstin, first we have to honour ourselves and appreciate and value all that we bring, when the other has this too, this as you say is the foundation of working together, then there is a purpose and seeing the bigger picture.
That is very true Kerstin. When I attend sacred movement the oneness is amazing to feel and a real marker of how much harmony and power can be between women we drop our personal stuff and just be in stillness with each other.
The more that we ca show this as a reflection the more others will also be working together in harmony with no judgement. This is what all women in truth want.
I would agree Heidi. Whenever I feel a group of women working together for a common purpose, without any issues or dramas, I am reminded of how much I miss my sisters and the unity we have had in previous lives. It just feels so right for us to come together like this, rather than separated by comparison.
A symbiosis that is much needed for sure. I remember a while back whilst in a doctors waiting room that I observed two female receptionists working together like nothing I had seen before. These two women had worked i the same surgery for about 20 years together. They worked together as one and everything went so smooth. They knew what each other was doing but checked i with each other and picked up where one may have missed with o backlash or sighing or even comment. I mentioned to them what I had observed and they were so appreciative of the mention. This was all so noticeable as it is not the norm out there.
great thanks for sharing Heidi! it truly makes a difference! This is something I would like to see a lot more out there and definately is something I know I can work with when I go to work.
I am experiencing a different connection with people in general Susan, as I shift to a greater, deeper appreciation of the woman I am both men and women equally respond. The connection I live is in the reflection and I feel a natural symbiosis with the world.
Thank you for such a beautiful sharing on how women can work together in harmony and true unison and support each other not only in our workplaces but everywhere in life. Monica and Jane you are both shining examples of this and it warms my heart to read how you work together with this level of love and true support.
“We are learning not to accept the status quo as we feel uncomfortable if our relationship feels stagnant, stale, or like it has hit a road-block”, these words struck me Jane and Monika, it is indeed the truth of it, accepting the status quo in our lives leads to stagnation and let’s be honest, a level of comfort that suits us even though it doesn’t make us happy, all it does is dulls us and creates more of the same… comfort. Your blog has inspired me and encouraged me to look at my own relationships, at home, work, friends and family, way to go ladies, life is all about learning, and to learn we have to have reflections, and the reflection brings to us a new awareness, so what you bring with your ever evolving relationship is a great service, thank-you.
It is true, there is often competition and worse amongst women in workplaces. It does feel timely to begin to consider that we might, because of that competition, be missing out on something precious beyond words. A very heartening read.
Why would women want to compete against each other, to what aim, more money, recognition, promotion, acceptance, to prove themselves? All of these things just confirm that we are not feeling enough just for who we are. The word contentment comes to mind, or a lack of it. And you can only have contentment if you have a deep and abiding love for yourself…. then we WOULD feel enough, and all relationships, including working relationships would be harmonious.
Sandra it’s a great question… Why do women compete against each other?
I feel we have been encouraged to follow and compete rather than claim who we are in full, loosing our way and our true power thus rendering us powerless and malleable. In doing so we have not been the reflection and the balance for the men to know who they are also.
Yes Sandra, and I observe in me how I sometimes fall in the trap of feeling the need to compete or to show others how good I am. I realize, the money trap is a big one as it wants to tell me I am only good when I earn a lot and from this jealousy arises. The deep understanding that our selfwoth is not depending on money but on how loving we are with ourselves in every moment is crucial in order to form a power relationship with women like Jane and Monika did.
True relationships and connection between people is what helps to have productive working relationships, because when you get on then everything is about adding to the gold that you have and nothing is about detracting.
This is a great point for managers who sometimes think finding fault is their job, when working with appreciation is way more motivating
I totally agree Carmel! Appreciation and connection is way more motivating to do a job than the usual tactic which is to use intimidation and threats (even silently) which is how most workplaces operate. They work on the basis that there is a false hierarchical structure and you cant show a level of wisdom if you are “at the bottom’ so to speak and the people at the top know best. This is not how true relationships work. This is anti-productivity and is causing a LOT of ills.
Maybe managers who find fault are really lacking self-esteem and they think that by finding fault they will gain respect, when in reality the opposite is true, appreciate and respect your colleagues equally and they will trust you, and productivity will increase because they will not only feel valued but they will enjoy what they are doing.
True Carmel. This ‘finding fault’ often comes from jealousy, rather than the appreciation of what another brings.
Its really great to hear that when things get ‘abusive’ you don’t accept it and ask whats going on straight away! This is a part of an ever evolving relationship.
This blog reminds me of a time where I worked in a small office with 6 other women with different characters, ages, stages of life and interests. There was an unspoken ‘rule’ that we never ever gossiped about another colleague and every Monday morning there was space for sharing about our personal lives with a genuine interest from all who attended this tea/coffee moment. We would than start the week and there was a high level of professionalism, commitment and a lightness. Also when things went wrong there was a holding instead of judgement and everyone was looking at what they could do to help out in this situation. I always loved working there and actually stayed because of the colleagues instead of the work. I used to think that it was just a lucky match of women together. It is now that I see the ingredients of connecting, respecting, using each other’s unique strengths without comparison and/or jealousy is what made working together such a joy and success.
I loved what you shared Diana, I could feel the connection, the warmth and the respect that each women brought to this beautiful constellation and is a powerful reminder that we can all have this. And what stood out for me is that the space was made before the week started to share over personal lives, which is about ‘connecting first’ and letting each other in, and a great foundation to start the work week!
Yes Jacqueline it absolutely was and the beautiful thing is, that this came in such a natural way.
What a great blog the two of you have written here, re-imprinting what true power means and how it serves everyone for people working together from their true power.
Love the way you have exchanged the term ‘Girl Power’ for a deeper and truer meaning of the power between women. It’s something we can embrace and reflect in every aspect of our lives because that natural tendency to be open and holding, is innately there.
Yes the common notion of ‘girl power’ simply does not compare to the true power of women. Girl power implies a hardening and a fight against the world. Whereas the power within women is one of deep surrender and stillness.
Surrender and stillness offers the true revolution, women have been striving in the wrong direction …although it has brought change and perceived equality it has not been without increased devastation to our womanly bodies – Women’s health issues, illnesses and disease have increase enormously over those years. “…the power within women is one of deep surrender and stillness.”
Jane and Monika, the relationship you describe is evolutionary and too rare. Your blog is rich in detail and sets a benchmark for how we could all be in all relationships, and no doubt there is much more you both have to share about what you are developing together so thank you for the glimpse.
We have these power relationship when we are young girls, with our ‘besties’ beside us we can do anything! But then something happens and as we grow and mould ourselves to this belief or that, these relationships dwindle and become rarer and rarer. How great to hear of them flourishing in later years – bring back the power relationship!
What a great topic to discuss. There is nothing more I love when working well with another person, whether it be in a friendship, relationship or work situation. When a project of any sort just flows because of said symbiosis, you get to experience harmony, and it’s amazing.
When we start working together with no judgment, and only honesty and truth, it opens up to something much deeper, and as we work together in our natural flow, we find we are already in-sync with each other and already preparing for what is needed next, without having to go through any complicated conversations because we are simply already connected.
Knowing that this relationship can and does exist between two women, shows that is is very possible to have this relationship with all women. It just takes one woman to initiate it and another to respond.
Not only all women, but men too, when women form working relationships in this way I am sure that men will be inspired, because there will be none of that competition between men and women, we will then be able to work side by side with equal respect for each other as men will get to see what a true woman to woman relationship looks like.
Beautiful Joanne. And then we see the ripple effect and it is near impossible not to join when we feel the true union between women.
Yes the pictures are super cool, and coupled with an account of how they have developed working together, it gives me a new sense of ‘being in relationship’. It does not have to be our partner, and it can be super supportive individually as I am sure this is for both Monika and Jane outside of the working relationship.
Its also got me reflecting on how relationships between men can be skewed by inherent prejudices. The one I observe at one place of work in particular is how we can form into a pack… and once that group energy takes hold, then people can find themselves saying and doing things they would not on their own, but are allowed / encouraged by the Group. Its forms a culture that can be enormously damaging to how we precious we are individually.
For me the two things that stand out are the lack of judgement, and the lack of comparison in the relationship you describe. Without judgement understanding prevails (which allows growth), and with no comparison, true equality can blossom and you both learn from each other (rather than the myriad relationship patterns of control, dominance, subservience etc that play out in its stead).
Yeah it’s simply amazing. Working in harmony with another is really second to none. Just getting on with it with no undertones of resentment or jealousy is what the term smooth sailing refers to.
I love the word symbiosis – and have done since I first heard it in a scientific context at school – a supportive, interactive, mutually beneficial relationship. In this article I see the impact of women working symbiotically not just on them but also as an inspiration for all those that come into contact with them and their work. This makes symbiosis even greater and even more inspiring. Thank you, Jane and Monika.
Beautiful Matilda. I too have loved that word as it describes the power we have when we work together for a greater purpose other than ‘self’.
When I feel that uncomfortable feeling inside me when another has exposed a lack of love or responsibility, that uncomfortable feeling is my trigger to feel and know this person is bringing an opportunity for a beautiful gift of feeling truth. In this there is no angst as love is felt in that moment.
This- “where you can be fragile and vulnerable without feeling shame or a failure, and where you can express anything without feeling judged, with an open heartedness between you where there are no walls of protection.” – within relationships is one of the best feelings i reckon. There’s so much space and love when this way of being is introduced into relationships.
Gorgeous Jane and Monika. Women working together brings so much power. Its gorgeous to interact with another in this way, it brings so much to the world and inspires other women to leave the comparison and jealousy behind.
I really like your work ethics and seeming enjoyment of working together. “There is curiousity and not criticism , and we remind each other of playfulness and joy. We allow time to learn and experiment.’
This is a great sharing Jane and Monika. The way you have supported each other and learnt so much about harmoniously working together is wonderful, and a great example to women and men.
I love reading this blog as it reminds me of the glorious relationships i have in my workplace but also of the potential for me to be more of me in my expression at work.
The true power of women lies not in outdoing the men in terms of trying to beat them at their own ridiculous game of aggression, but rather owning the delicacy of their own connection.
Beautiful Adam, it’s true. And ‘owning the delicacy’ not just of our own connection, but also the exquisiteness of our connection with other women.
Love what you’ve said there Adam. And in that power women support men to truly connect with themselves too. A win-win all round.
Yes Fiona a win -win all round and not only do women support men to truly connect with themselves but the balance is returned between men and women, which has not been the case for a long time.
So true Adam. There is a serious strength within that. Delicacy and fragility- part of a woman’s true power.
It is Emily, only after truly feeling my fragility and vulnerability was I able to see that it is indeed a strength and I am just allowed to be, there is no trying or hardening required.
This is so beautiful Adam. In recent years there has been so much hype about women being equal to men with slogans of “anything a man can do a women can do better”, losing what women and men are all about in truth.
Man’s ‘ridiculous game of aggression’ has been developed and fuelled by women joining in. And yes, when women own their delicacy the impetus for this game ceases and men have the space to let go of the race and connect to their true nature (tender, loving, vulnerable, strong…). This is a no-brainer win win for all.
In my experience girl power allows women to be vulnerable but also allows them to be in their power and that is an amazing experience to be around.
Agreed Christoff. This is true power. Being vulnerable when I was child was classed as not being strong enough, and somehow needed a protection.
I agree Katie it is gorgeous to just feel two women allowing themselves to be seen to be powerful.
“if we feel abuse in the other we name it – not in a finger pointing way but in a way that allows the other a true gentle reflection to realise that this behaviour is not who they are.” I love this Jane and Monika as it takes away this need to be perfect and rather deal with what comes up when it does, nut it out as you expressed and the commitment to that and not perfection is what makes you a power couple. It is not some magic it is dedication and a willingness to go there and be honest, truthful and loving. Very inspirational.
Well said Vanessa. It makes it so simple and easy to address the things that aren’t okay, as both hold understanding and commitment for one another.
Commitment, dedication and a willingness to honestly support each other in accepting, appreciating, loving and living who we truly are – now that is an inspiring foundation for all our relationships.
Hear hear Matilda, and I say yes to heaps more of that….
Rather than accusing or judging, naming a behaviour allows the other to consider it before it gets away from them. The behaviour is not allowed to build up, and is not allowed to enter the relationship. Simple exposure effects change rather than stimulating a reaction.
‘Simple exposure effects change rather than stimulating a reaction.’ Genuine exposure without a controlling agenda allows another a moment of reflection and growth and benefits all.
It occurs to me that this is both parties responsibility. Providing a reflection can be done without judgement and with love…. but of course its also the receivers choice as to how they respond. An evolving relationship needs both.
Well said Vanessa, and if we can offer these reflections to one another without judgement then this is an opportunity for the group to evolve and grow. If the relationships develop within a team, then whatever that team then puts its mind to is guaranteed to be of great quality, and it’s highly likely that the team will work 100 times more efficiently than they otherwise would in disharmony with lots of arguments and disagreements occurring.
Absolutely Susie these reflections are an opportunity for a group to grow, whereas holding back for whatever reason, creates the complete opposite causing complication and stagnation.
I so agree with that Jane, I also love the freshness and clarity it brings when abuse is called out in a supporting way. And as you mention the ripple effect is enormous. My experience is that when it is called out in a certain situation, you recognize it immediately in all other areas where it is still playing out.
Sounds also a fantastic support for one another, in that there is no room to indulge, the energy is cut immediately, cuts out the time wasting in self absorption, and instead onward we move giving focus and attention to what is needed.
Thanks to this blog I’m realising that I’m actually constantly working together with people and that I’ve actually done so my whole life. I’ve never been more aware and have seen the enormous responsibility and Power that is in this, but it’s actually been there for a long time. I am learning to more and more be connected to the Wisdom that is shared by the people I am working with. People have and share so much Wisdom, even though it’s a lot of the times ‘behind the words’. The more open I am myself, the easier it is to connect to the intention (the energy) behind the spoken or written words. Or even in the way a meal is cooked, a house is cleaned, the diswasher is packed, etc. Thank you Monika and Jane. And all the others commenting and to the people that I’ve been given the opportunity to work together.
Floris van der Schot I feel you have highlighted a really beautiful aspect in the people we communicate with, that is we all share the same Wisdom which comes from only one source, no matter the language the energy is from that source. I am loving the insights people are having when true expression is shared the words may not be how I speak or write but the original intention is there.
I deeply connect to the fact that we’re all from that one source Merrilee. This is in fact – I’m smiling – one such example, by you sharing about that one source, you allow me / reflect to me the absoluteness of the Knowing of that fact. Which allows me to connect to it as well, because I know I’m from that source too. This language is universal and how lovely is it to pay attention to this language. Very inspiring:-). The language of Love – packed with Wisdom.
Power often tends to be seen as being able to exercise more force and have more clout in comparison to others. However as this article so well illustrates true power is actually knowing the love, truth and purpose within us, teamwork and inspiring the best in one another.
Yes Golnaz, seeing and knowing it is there at all times even if something else is being shown on the outer.
It’s no surprise (sadly), that power and especially power within and between women has been so bastardised – when it is key in the evolution of us all.
I agree Golnaz, true power is nothing to do with physical strength or capability, but all to do with how we express and how we choose to live on a daily basis knowing that we are role modelling for and affecting over 7 billion other people. True power comes from responsibility.
True power couple in action…I love that abuse for you has been refined to simple things like arriving late for meetings…it means the big and typically unacceptable behaviours like poor manners and language are gone.
Having felt that ‘overwhelm’ on many occasions Jane it does leave a feeling of ‘Where do I go from here – what’s next’ but actually what you share is wonderful words of wisdom “If we start with the simple daily things that in itself takes care of the rest”
So true Jane… we’ve been lied to that the devil is in the detail…as it is the love that lives there 🙂
Brilliant, Joel and Jane. Thank you for the inspiration of saying ‘out loud’ that the abuse in society and our daily lives can be arrested when we attend to the simple, practical details of how we treat ourselves and each other.
Oh wow! Yes!! how amazing is that Joel!
Just another example of how the world has it backwards.
Yes, Joel, and it brings our responsibility ‘home’ in a really practical way. Our care and respect of each other, and attention to detail, laying the foundation for a much bigger picture.
So true Jane, keeping things simple and practical allows for more space to reveal what is there to do next.
We are so much more powerful when we work together in true harmony and equalness than we will ever be on our own.
More powerful and more joyful and more effective, and more inspirational and just so much more on all levels you can imagine.
Just today some children shared just what you have shared Andrew they showed a wall and a piece missing saying that we cannot find our genius with someone missing we can only reach our genius if we are all together. Genius here was not about intellect but about being all of ourselves as in the quote from Einstein, we all innately know we are stronger together.
I love that. Yep, so true Andrew.
Each one of us makes up a different piece of the puzzle and each person is equally important to make up the whole, which is why group work is so powerful.
We are so much more powerful and we are pretty good already working on our own. It just gets better and better, especially when we know how to work in groups of two or more.
To be able to share how we feel in relationships without indulging (meaning without becoming our issues and understanding that we are not our issues) is a huge thing for it brings honesty to the table and with that trust really starts to build. With greater trust you have greater openness and connection.
I find that when I share in this way without indulging, there is tenderness and so much understanding. When we share in this way with others, we get to also feel how absolutely beautiful we are.
Andrew I love how clearly you express what indulging in our issues is – something I have done many times and also tried to avoid by trying to sweep something uncomfortable under the carpet. Being honest with another and nominating issues with the awareness that they are not who we are, is a wonderful way to have an open and honest platform from which to build a relationship based on mutual respect and trust.
There are some beautiful reminders Jane and Monika for us all to tap into here. For any relationship to grow ‘regular check-ins with one another’ and to consistently commit to deepen that intimacy with each other I feel is vital and, to call out anything that does not feel true, not letting situations gather a negative momentum. With an openness and honesty like this I feel a deep unspoken appreciation lies within which then inspires a deeper connection to be more of the same ‘love’, which can then be felt by all those who receive those ripples of inspiration. No wonder team/group work is so powerful.
Well said Marion. In any relationship we need to constantly be calling out what’s not true, stopping negative momentums from building up and most importantly appreciating all that is amazing in the relationship and the relationship itself. Without these key things, issues can build up incredibly easy and problems can erupt into arguments and disagreements.
The commitment to this process and truly being loving – which is to call out what is not loving – is what will bring us together and let out all this power that resides within us all.
Susie, that is true. Accumulated resentments seem to be one of the biggest killers of relationships. Finding a way to express and resolve these resentments takes a lot of courage and is vital to have a great, enjoyable relationship.
That is a part I sometimes still find a bit hard (on reflection right now I’m wondering if it because I want to be ‘nice’!) that is … calling out what is not true and stopping negative momentums. But a beautifull and key thing someone shared with me recently is first always look at how I am, what quality am I in, what am I bringing or not bringing before wanting to call it out in another. In essence asking how am I living.
Yes this is the key Vicky; before we assess the way other people are living, blame them or try to pull them up, we need to be fully honest with the way in which WE are living and the choices we have been making. Without this step, our reading or blame of the other person is often not valid.
Vicky this is something I am too just realising as well, how easy it can be to distract myself with looking at how others are living instead of taking a deeper look at how I am with myself. Also, by checking-in with each other it’s a great opportunity to see the bits that have been getting in the way of opening up and going deeper together with an inquisitive and simple look at them… not taking them as personal or who we really are I find helps. Then there is more room for who we are to be shared.
So True Susie. A lot of the times our fights or disagreements are old hurts that come to the surface, rather than the little thing that just ‘happened’. Because a lot of people are so used to protect and harden themselves when feeling these past hurts, we end up in discussions that are not supportive at all and actually separating people. The more we allow ourselves to just feel whatever is there to be felt and share that from an observing way – the more we will find trust within ourselves to express whatever wants to be expressed. And in that, Love will grow naturally. If not, any relationship will slowly or fastly develop into an arrangement, where polite manners take over, might look great, but are actual poison.
Yes Marion, theses are beautiful reminders. “For any relationship to grow ‘regular check-ins with one another’ ” It can be all to easy to let our hurts override and to gather negative momentum, but with commitment, honesty, openness and a willingness to communicate lovingly so much understanding, love and tenderness can be brought.
That’s right, Rachel. Never let resentments accumulate. Either drop them or resolve them.
It is about a commitment to being deeply honest, something that we can very often avoid but honesty is a key ingredient in any relationship and without it no relationship can thrive.
I agree chevonsimon commitment to honesty within all of our relationships is foundational for the deeper truth that we can unfold with each other.
Yes, and we are so good at avoiding it. I find at work, I often try to get to the bottom of something by inviting honesty to a situation, but when I’m met with resistance from the other person, this helps me to shut down and walk away. This doesn’t help anybody, so it is for me to pursue bringing truth to the table and slowly I am sure people will come to the party once they feel safe to speak up.
Those regular check ins you mention Marion are super important and when they are not coming with an agenda of finding something wrong or trying to improve, then they can be a great expression of appreciation and joy, which then naturally develops the relationship.
‘when they are not coming with an agenda of finding something wrong or trying to improve, then they can be a great expression of appreciation and joy,’ This is a crucial reminder to look within before we look outside – as in
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
Christoph ‘accumulated resentments’ can ruin a person’s life. It stops them from moving on, every relationship tainted with past hurts, and the person identified with them. We can through our own livingness offer a different way of being by choosing not to let our past dictate the quality of life lived today.
Yes, the key is to accept that accumulated resentments may be there and not to let them ruin our life and, when they taint our current relationships, becoming aware of that and dealing with the past hurts that created that taint.
As you say Christoph, the key is not to let accumulated resentments ‘ruin our lives.’ And the word ‘accumulated’ is important, if we let disappointments and hurts fester over time, rather than take responsibility for them as they happen we build a wall of resentment and defence. Healing comes from self reflection, facing issues honestly as they arise and understanding what happened and why. Releasing emotional baggage frees us to walk more lightly in life.
When I am supported to see patterns of behaviour I have adopted and utilised that in any way impinge on the natural flow and development of a relationship (be that control, lack of self-worth, fear…) I know I am being loved very deeply.
Indeed Matilda to show such loving care by supporting me around a behaviour is a marker of a true friendship.
Absolutely agree, that having regular check-ins with one another is so important, that constantly committing to deepening intimacy is so vital, calling out things can be done with love and understanding and it doesn’t have to be contentious, but every evolving.
What I love about intimacy is that it opens the space for trust. It allows each other to drop the mask of protection (hiding) and I feel at ease with showing all of me, I can practice to show my vulnerability.
..and in the vulnerability it too opens up the space for another contact their own, and together we clear all that is in our own ways of simply being naturally who we divinely are.
This is a brilliant example of the knock on effects of surrendering our guards and protection. Intimacy, vulnerability, fragility, tenderness, openness, honesty (the qualities are endless) start to get a look in, which is life changing: one to one and globally.
Women tend to be more at ease with being tender and vulnerable with some men, because they don’t feel the jealousy and comparison the normally get from other women. We can go so much deeper with each other in dropping our masks and be intimate with each other.
Absolutely Susan because the exclusivity of ‘one couple’ can made it like a club, where true power couples are in no exclusive club, but the club of equal and inter-dependent brotherhood that is all-inclusive. I agree, if we can start off small as one couple, and then grow and expand this out to all our other relationships, life and work would be so much more collaborative, harmonious and efficient too.
I have experienced working with women and the powerful dynamic that is sparked just by enjoying and appreciating working together, I have also experienced the jealousy that this can bring when one goes into comparison, it has the ability to undermine the joy and destroy the foundation if you are not vigilant and call it out, as women can so easily fall into critique with each other. Our strength is in our unity.
I am blessed to work very closely with another woman who in one role is my boss, in another is my business partner and who is a dearly loved close friend. The way we work together is simply gorgeous. There is a flow, harmony and huge amounts of joy. Whether we are working side by side or from another country it is the same. At times we have our stuff but we bring it to the table and then move on from it, we don’t let it accumulate nor fester. Working in this way is incredibly beautiful. Gorgeous that you Monika and Jane have opened up this conversation so that we can appreciate these relationships we have in our lives.
I love how this blog brings in a totally new look at the word ‘power’. It’s in no way lording it over another, or using one’s expertise, force, or false authority. Power can express through us when we are with ourselves allowing the fragility of intimacy. Any hardness and it becomes force not power. Power couples magnify the power as they provide “a true gentle reflection” for each other and all others in their sphere of influence.
It’s very important to state the difference between the ‘girl power’ that the world has become used to and the true power that we can claim and offer as women. Our true power has no force in it or need to prove anything, We do not need to stand up and shout. Our true power is in our willingness to be tender with ourselves and others, and to allow our true selves to be seen. It is in our willingness to communicate openly and in connecting with our inner beauty and allowing ourselves to shine – not in a bedazzling celebrity kind of way, but a steady natural warm kind of way that says to the world ‘I know who I am, and this is who you are too’.
Monica and Jane, I love your understanding of true intimacy “where you can express anything without feeling judged, with an open heartedness between you where there are no walls of protection.” There is no need for ‘toughness’ in such a relationship, no need to pretend we are any different than how we are in this moment and this holding of each other draws forth honesty and openness and so the intimacy builds.
Love this claiming of the power of team work ‘they are two women who simply feel the flow, what is needed and can feel how well they work together and get things done.’ Totally inspirational and a great call to examine where these opportunities are for all of us because they are definitely there but we may not have recognised them yet.
A great point for us all Helen – the potential and the opportunities are equally there for all, we just need to recognise it.
This blog shows the great potential there is for all women who are willing to support one another and not be driven by an agenda of comparison, but instead a desire to develop harmonious relationships and a finer appreciation of the qualities women can offer to support one another.
Yes what a great point of reflection this example is.
Yes and it made me appreciate how many wonderful working relationships I actually already have, time to celebrate.!
As we as a society begin to develop more and more evolving relationships such as this one, others can get to see and feel the power and love they hold and therefore feel more confident in developing such relationships themselves until one day it becomes the new ‘normal’.
I am so blessed to have relationships like this, that are supportive of the evolution of both of us and I have to say it has completely changed my life, not only in what I give but also what I receive. At first it may be unnerving to let the walls down and get truly honest but it oh so worth it.
It is refreshing to read an article where two women are working together as equals without judgment or comparison (as best they can) and where the quality and direction of the relationship matters. Businesses would succeed tenfold if this was the basis of their foundations.
I reckon that for centuries women have been working together in these powerful relationships, wether they be in the workplace or at home.
This is a gorgeous blog and VERY unique in its delivery, in having two voices on a page. As one reader, I could sense that there is utter joy and fun with you both working together. Thank you for the encouragement.
Yes conveying the depth and level of responsibility involved in a true power couple whilst never losing sight of the shared joy. A delight to read thank you.
What an amazing testimonial, Monika and Jane. I love it. I sense very old times when there was brotherhood lived on earth. You sparkle this light back into our time. So cool.
This is very true Felix – there is an age old and innate knowing in us all on how to live and work together in true brotherhood.
I am learning to be open to the potential of all relationships offering ‘power’ through connection and self responsibility. It is beginning to turn my life around. It brings a lovely feeling of intimacy being open to people I meet everyday and feeling the potential of what we could share and build. And yes, some of this now is lived and the feeling of flow, ease and purpose is divine.
This is such a great reminder concerning all of our relationships “There is curiosity and not criticism” so often we can react to another person for what we ‘think’ they should be like rather than going deeper and being aware that behaviours are there for a reason and there is something heal, and so develop understanding and also responsibility for what we bring to our relationships. And yes it can definitely be playful and fun.
This example is so beautiful to read in and, a true gift to humanity “The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.” This turns the way women often connect on its head. It is joy to see that it is possible to re-imprint and heal relationships with women and come to together in unity and with power.
So true, we can support each other to be all that we are and do not have to criticise, judge or put each other down which is the norm in many ways today. It simply does not work and creates a ‘lose lose’ situation. The relationship described in this blog is a great and inspiring example of what true love looks like.
I had a very interesting experience in an organisation I worked in for10 years, around 6 of those years was working with another woman of a similar age to me, in the same role and some time job sharing. Our relationship developed a lot over the years and we learnt a lot, we did not always agree but as we grew we committed more to understanding and working together. when we did have times of unity and purpose it felt vey powerful, we both shined more when we truly worked equally side by side.
I had this experience recently, we where doing a photo shot together with a united purpose, it felt amazing “…they are two women who simply feel the flow, what is needed and can feel how well they work together and get things done.” we where all supporting the intention to complete the task with love, care and purpose, being aware of the details and it felt so confirming and true to be united in this way.
We can be more understanding of each other and instead of criticising everyone’s failings, appreciate what they bring – just imagine how it would feel if the office gossip was about how amazing people were . . .
That would be amazing Carmel… let’s start a revolution, but first we have to learn to appreciate ourselves and our own amazingness. That done, we can spread our amazingness and bring the joy back to going to work 🙂
I love that Carmel, office gossip turned into moments of appreciating ourselves and each other.
Ha ha what an amazing reflection Carmel, love that and agree, what greatness we would bring to the working place. Understanding creates and opens up the space to see (more).
“… if we feel abuse in the other we name it – not in a finger pointing way but in a way that allows the other a true gentle reflection to realise that this behaviour is not who they are.” This is a great point and a great reminder of our true nature – love – and that how we do not have to be hard and harsh however harsh the world around us may be.
So very true – being hard on ourselves is a choice. Being gentle and understanding always brings a quality for everyone that offers far greater outcomes than what can even be imagined.
No matter the status of either woman, a truly successful and therefore powerful relationship is one where the relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are – “how we as women can be together and support each other” this is most definitely the power of women together at work…or wherever in life.
Yes, who we truly are is love, and in this quality true leadership is or can be, irrespective of gender.
In this quality, leadership takes on a new meaning too – it is less rigid and less hierarchical; a leadership that can ebb and flow with what’s needed and the qualities each woman brings.
” curiosity and not criticism,” This is such a great move from criticism where often people feel on edge and/or put down to curiosity which shows a genuine concern for the other. there is respect and an openness that supports our relationships to grow.
When I read through some of the comments I feel that when there is a true power couple no one feels left out, when we let our power be it is there for all.
Great comment Annelies. I have had friendships in the past that were very exclusive. When the true power of a friendship is lived, it has not an ounce of exclusion and is very open for all to be a part of.
Awesome power couple you are Monika and Jane! We as women know how to work together when we connect to ourselves deep inside. The moment we start to look outside we give air to comparison, competition and jealousy. You could say we are afraid of our power and use all kind excuses to not stand tall for what we know, at least I know I can sure relate to this. And our power is never in the toughness but it is in what I see reflected in your pictures a very delicate and precious openess, oh so sweet.
Thank you Jane and Monika for sharing a true reflection of “girl power”.
I have also had the opportunity to observe women working like this in harmony and mutual respect of each other and allowing fragility and delicateness instead of toughness and competitiveness. In such a situation I have felt a deep sense of love – the love for relationship equalling the love for the work they are doing and the two being inseparable.
Calling out any form of abuse within relationships without judgement but with appreciation of who we truly are is revolutionary and evolutionary.
This is revolutionary and evolutionary Katinka…letting go of the blame game and holding another lovingly so, whilst calling out any form of abuse is a U turn on the way we can handle life.
Yes it s Katinka and can only happen when the love of oneself is realised and continually deepened such that the compromise of abuse occurs less and less and becomes the abnormality that it is.
Awesome too that you are a power couple yet live and work in different countries. Powerful indeed
Very true Jane – no distance can ever be used as an excuse for not being a power couple.
I love how your blog reflects so beautifully the flow and intimacy of your working together. There is no room for stagnation or holding back and there is oodles of deeply honouring yourselves and each other. Beautiful.
Which shows that we can talk about our issues or choices we have made that are not love without going into attack or beating ourselves or each other up, figuratively speaking.
So true katechorley and reading your comment I can feel how spacious this is. Expressing in this way is so freeing for all involved.
Love this blog Monika and Jane – it is truly inspiring to feel the end product that comes from the deep appreciation that you hold for each other. What becomes very clear from your sharing is that we all have relationships in our lives that have this potential, we just need to open up to the fact and honour it.
The following deeply resonates within me Eva: “What becomes very clear from your sharing is that we all have relationships in our lives that have this potential, we just need to open up to the fact and honour it.”. Rather than comparing or judging we are to look at our own lifes and see the powercouple relationships that are there waiting to be honoured for what they are and potentially can bring to the world and to life. Reading your comment made me feel Joyous, realising and appreciating the relationships in my life that Truly make a difference in this world. I should and want to be proud of these, rather than hold them secretly and ‘for myself’.
Eva and Benkt you both mentioned ‘ end product’ in working in true harmony it would have an impact on ‘ the end product’ which I am sure would be also felt by all.
This is great to read and see that this is unique, but should actually be the norm, working together in true harmony with a great shared responsibility for the quality of the end product, and the process to it.
We are designed to be intimate in all relationships, yet it is a quality we all too often forsake, falsely believing that it has no role in the workplace. Yet I have seen it work, especially in Vietnam, where I often watch the men and women work together in the tailor shops. They treat each other with a familiarity and sense of intimacy which is not only inspiring but exposing of how held back we are in western culture.
The photos of these two women reflect such a deep claiming of the power that they bring as women, without an ounce of hardness or pushing.
It is inspiring to read about a relationship which is about supporting and appreciating each other and a deep commitment to not pander to each other.
Yes. It’s not all rosy. If someone is out of line, indulgent or abusive (by being late as the example was) then it is supportive for everyone for that to be called out. Working in harmony means we need to be prepared to call out what is not i harmony – which is not always easy.
The word ‘Power’ is often associated with an individual standing out, being superior or having an influence on a great number of people through their knowledge or status. You’ve asked an interesting question in this blog Jane and Monika – could true power actually be in working as a group, as equals? Is the ‘power’ that those who behave in an imposing and superior manner have actually a superficial power?
Yes, that imposing ‘power’ feels more like a force and that force is brittle, especially when there is also true power, which is a presence, around.
Yes Susie, power is not influence via upmanship but via equalness to equalise then any superiority or inferiority.
For sure you are a power couple Jane and Monika and I want to thank you for sharing that in this blog. It is so important to show to the world that this way of being and working together is brought to the fore so we can all see and feel by the power that emanates from you portraits that this is possible and a way to consider how to work and be with one another in true equalness.
Yes Nico, it is important for the world to read about these kind of relationships as it reflects how powerful and supporting intimacy in a working relationship is.
Indeed Katinka, to be intimate in all our relationships is our future way of being and is already lived and presented by Monika and Jane. A powerful way of being together and the way to go in our way back to a way of life we have lived before but have forgotten about.
By sharing their story, this inspires all of us that read it. And of course if we can get out there and live that inspiration in our relationships then the wisdom keeps expanding out to more and more people.
Yes Simon, key is that we do not keep it of ourselves but that we share what inspires us with everybody we are with, and don’t forget that by simply living like this you are a living inspiration for everybody you meet and are with.
A much needed and beautiful redefinition of the words power in working together: a way where there is flow, an equalness, and where things get done; where there is an intimacy in it’s true meaning – without which the rest could not flow.
absolutely Rosanna, when we observe and get all the dynamics out of the way, there is simplicity.
What’s great is that what we’re actually realising here is that quality and productivity are an outcome of our connection with each other. Get that happening and all else follows.
Yes, it is a beautiful role model.
There is often competition and conflict in the work place, it’s great to feel this different way of two women working together in a symbiosis, it’s win win all round.
Normally at work or in team situations there is comparison between workers, jealousy, competitiveness, drive, trying to justify that your doing enough, being apologetic. But this should so not be the norm, like if a CEO and their PA were like best friends and there was no ‘superiority’ the power would be INCREDIBLE!
And what a joy for the entire team to work with them. This is the type of relationship that turns everything into gold.
This is SUCH an amazing blog! Loved the whole thing. It is so needed to talk about power couples and the true power of people working together as one!
Agreed harryjwhite…and love your enthusiasm in your comments:))
It is absolutely gorgeous to read about your relationship together: how it is about knowing your both strengths and how you can brings great things through this connection, how you pull each other up and not accept abuse, the openness to learning from each other and also not to forget to have fun and be playful together. This is setting the standard for how many other women can start to work together now. As this different reflection that you both show is very needed in a world where it is seen as normal for women to compete and crush each other instead of work powerfully together to bring something great to all.
Jane and Monika you are awesome! Such an inspiration to many other wannabe power couples out there, and not just power couples but groups of men and women, whether in the workplace or outside of the workplace, who are beginning to work together and make it all about love and service to others first.
What you both share is truly inspirational. I feel it is the future of what relationships will be like. It is the new normal. To be inspiring each other and not bringing one another down with judgement, comparison or critique is a testament to what you both share
Yes Joshua! inspiring each other is the way to go!
What a lovely vision Joshua, inspirational, loving and evolutionary relationships all-around as normal. But this is so far from the norm right now. Most girls start competing and comparing and valuing themselves upon what they look like and can do from a very early age. It would be awesome to make a cartoon called ‘Girl Power’ that is all about our new preferred normal way of relating, that role models relationships like Monica and Jane’s to the masses. How cool would that be!
It’s interesting that the inspiration is often already there and in our faces so to speak – however, we abuse this opportunity by choosing comparison and jealousy…it is such a waste and an unnecessary reality , that leaves us void of the richness we could instead be living.
I love these listed qualities too – they support that understanding that it is ok not being perfect, that it is ok to need support and to ask for it, that fragility is perfectly normal – but that within all this if surrendered to there is a power in the acceptance of it all that allows for deep allowing and understanding of oneself and of others.
Only in the past few months when I decided to take on more work in an environment with a few other lovely ladies have I truly appreciated feeling and seeing them as a united team. Amazing as, they gently flow quite naturally together, no raised voices, understanding each others strengths and their large workload gets finished on time.
Its a joy to work alongside with them.
Marion, you yourself are a joy to be around, so the lovely ladies you speak about are surely reflecting back to you who you are 🙂 There is nothing more lovely than working together as a team with acceptance and understanding of each other and supporting each other in the process, so bring on the day when more women AND men begin to accept this as their ‘normal’ and make it about love and co-operation which engenders a feeling of togetherness and true brotherhood.
I feel what Jane and Monika are sharing is a very normal way for women to be and work together. Unfortunately, it isn’t common as women often go into jealousy and compare themselves with other women in all kinds of ways and this gets in the way of being able to be intimate and work closely with each other.
Jane and Monika simply show the quality that is possible when women work together who each appreciate their own unique way without comparison or judgement. Beautiful.
Rachel the word ‘simply’ and ‘normal’ appear quite frequently in the comments to this blog… so I guess it means that quite simply, when women are connected to their essence and living in their true power, then this way of working together becomes the norm 🙂
And one day it will become the norm for all of us.
yes this would be the normal way but in daily life, this is not what is happening though. There is still a lot going on between women and in working together. I am learning myself what it truly means to be working together with other women and this is great learning. But for sure still many steps to take in deepening this.
And unfortunately the separation is evident not only in working together as women, but also in living together, friendships, family, and indeed all relationships. We can in fact turn the tables and begin claiming each and every relationship as a ‘Power Relationship’ when we accept and appreciate our power as women.
Unfortunately i would have to agree with you Sandra, this is indeed a most common reality that plagues many offices, and working practices and also which can often lead to women quitting jobs. What i’ve noticed is just how the subject of comparison or jealousy is rarely spoken of, even dismissed at work by managers (the focus being on productivity and work delivered typically), and yet if/when we work minus such hindrance brilliant work can be done and productivity increases. The more we are in relationship with ourselves the more we get to understand who we are and become more honest about the lack of self-worth that strikes the arrow of comparison or jealousy to grossly affect harmony at work.
I agree Sandra, that women are naturally able to be this way once they appreciate themselves enough and are not needing to measure themselves up against another. We just need a few role models out there to get the ball rolling and then – watch out world – woman power is returning as we return to who we are.
Very true. The comparison can be a way for us to hide so that we don’t bring the power that is possible when we work together in harmony. If we were to drop the comparison – watch out world!
Comparison is like driving in reverse with the hand break on. You go nowhere except backwards, and even that is a struggle.
Thank you, Jane and Monika, reading your blog I have been inspired to look at the relationships that I have with my female colleagues at work. I have had to ask myself why my relationships with women are so much more supportive and collaborative on many and varied projects outside of my ordinary work environment than they are in my day to day work environment? What I have come to so far is that there needs to be no difference at all and that the relationships at work need to be nurtured and appreciated rather than just focusing on the job at hand. It is easy to get caught up in the busyness.
Absolutely agree Elizabeth! how much easier would work be if we felt supported and loved our relationships at work! We would all love our jobs! This is the way it should be!
Yep very true, no matter what goes on in work, cuts, a huge work load, stresses, re-organisations if we love, support and care for each other the whole time, 100% it would change everything.
I agree Elizabeth the same level of quality is essential in all our relationships. Nurturing and appreciating are wonderful qualities to support our work, let the quantity and output be taken care of by the true intention and purpose.
This is true Elizabeth. When we are bringing our all to every one equally, these power couples can be with anyone, anywhere and all deserve to be equally nurtured.
So true Elizabeth there is no difference between the relationships I have at work or at home and yet sometimes I can become all business like and task orientated at work. As soon as I stop and let the other in as a human being the relationships are more playful and supportive and work is a pleasure.
Indeed it is very easy to get caught up in busyness and forget all about building relationships and working in a supportive and collaborative way with one another, however it’s of vital importance that we maintain this focus even through super busy times, otherwise the quality of what the team are doing drops enormously and often chaos is created within the relationships, making it difficult to move forward.
This is inspiring Elizabeth, to bring this power into relationships outside in our daily world.
I agree Elizabeth, I have noticed how I can sometimes focus on just ‘getting the job done’ without any care for those who are working for me which feels hideous. If I catch myself in this drive mode and change down a gear the whole dynamic changes to a far more playful and joyful exchange which feels so much better.
It can be easy to get pulled into getting the job done and forgetting about connection. But what is the point when we do that? At work, sometimes when we have an impossible amount of things to do, I find myself chatting way too long in the kitchen about personal things or doing something together with the woman I work with that really we don’t have time for. We’re not in avoidance but when we make it about connection and people, the busyness and work load is so much lighter and has purpose.
Thank you for sharing the amazing relationship you both have with each other, a very beautifully powerful evolving one, an inspiration for women everywhere.
Great blog and I totally agree that it is time that we start having these discussion to bring more awareness and to celebrate and appreciate what we are capable of simply by being the innate woman that we are. I have witnessed this by a few woman and it is extremely powerful what is brought through and you cannot deny that when two Woman work like this they are a ‘Power Couple’.
Well said Natalie – when kids are partnered up at school, we should begin to talk to them about the power of team work, of working together and bringing out the best of people.
Agree Rebecca – bringing the best out of people and working connected or united through bringing out the best in oneself leads to the mutual appreciation that is just so cohesive.
absolutely – it is time we built each other up to get places rather than bringing people down or having to climb over them to get places as is so often the case today.
Yes fostering this at school would establish the foundation for true team work and revolutionise work places of the future.
I agree – these kids grow up and become our workforce and the way they are raised and educated is going to massively effect how they work. If we pile them with pressure and huge work loads so they become exhausted and given up, that is the workforce we get, and currently we keep the consequences with of increased sick leave due to burn out and stress. And also kids are told that it is the competitive sports that build their team working – and yet you may have your team but your working against another – everything is put in the context of one person succeeding over another.
So great Rebecca, if we could introduce this to kids at school for they long for true intimacy and connection but there are few role models around for them to be inspired by.
and also it will remove the constant tension of who in the class is doing the best – having felt the tension myself both as the person doing the best and getting the focus of every other child that has not been singled out by the teacher, and also as the majority watching the one or two who are singled out and not liking them and feeling bad about myself. This is not the most supportive learning environment.
Yes Rebecca it would be amazing to encourage children in the appreciation of teamwork and the power that brings, as opposed to the current championing of competition and one-up-manship which totally debilitates and isolates people.
Exactly, instead, children are taught to compete and outdo each other.
And this continues throughout their lives – competing for promotions and pay rises and the bosses attention, competing for a partner and for their kids affection. We are never taught how to stand on equal ground with people.
A great conversation to initiate , thank you Jane ‘ It feels time to start a conversation about women at work – in particular women in groups or power couples – so that we can start to see these for what they truly are and to celebrate and appreciate them; to fully claim that there are women in our working lives that we feel to work with, but maybe we have held back in doing so. The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments.’
Yes, much of women at work discussions talk about how senior women are harder on more junior women than on junior men or other negative aspects. When there are positive mentions about women to women relationship at work I have often seen them as “them and us” descriptions. Women simply working together harmoniously and supporting each other without excluding anybody else seems to be quite rare.
It is definitely something that we can do quite easily but trip up on all sorts of things that can get in the way of an ease in working together. I have some awesome working partnerships with women and have several older women who are absolutely inspiring and encouraging of my work and want to help me in all ways, it is very beautiful to experience that sort of support.
I agree Jenny, Jane and Monika — and the common held belief that when a group of women come together to work the dynamics are awful is really the opposite of what can be so normal and true. When we make the commitment first to ourselves to be honest, truthful, to deal with our hurts and take responsibility for what we choose and we then bring all that to a relationship with another woman who has a similar commitment with herself — then wow. It is incredibly inspiring and powerful when women build a relationship of integrity and love with each other, and reflect that to the world.
I agree Katerina, and the same applies for women bosses in that so many females say they prefer male bosses, when in fact when that commitment to oneself that you speak of is practiced, the gender of the leader matters not, and what matters more is the direction ahead that’s with ease and collaboration. In other words when there’s ease an collaboration with oneself, this is felt, and leaves a mark neither of denigration (at times by some men) or polarisation (of other women), but inspiration.
Katerina, what you say here is the first step towards building a true relationship….we need to “make the commitment first to ourselves to be honest, truthful, to deal with our hurts and take responsibility for what we choose”. If another is prepared to do that too then the two can build a “relationship of integrity and love” on that foundation.
When power meets power and we power together, there is no limit to what is possible, or to the joy such connection and purpose brings.
I am once again totally blown away by the depth of love you both have together.
Thank you, reading this made me appreciate my relationship with my last Manager. Working together there was definietly a solidness, knowing what was needed, an equalness, a playfullness and love. I can see there was no jealousy or comparison. I haven’t truly appreciated this or her in this way before. It is lovely to hear about your relationship with each other and I agree we should be talking about relationships of women working together.
The word Power has been used to describe many things which I would say have nothing really to do with its true meaning. Like being tough, hard, harsh, controlling, domineering etc. I love your exploration of what power genuinely is about.
Great point Fiona, the word ‘Power’ brings to mind domination, control and ‘ruling with an iron fist’… YET, women who know themselves, from their intimate, delicate and stillness, recognise how THIS is true power, no ruling with an iron fist, but by the stealth of grace.
“…commits to being in relationship with another to get a project done, not with concern on our own role within that.” This is the key to working harmoniously. If we work with a shared purpose to get something done, there is no room to focus on ourselves or the other person and no room for jealousy or comparison.
In reading this blog I could feel the enormity of how we are stuck in very stagnant ways or relating to one another, and this goes for all relationships, be they men or women. There is a need to address this, as what gets in the way of progress and evolution in our relationships is jealousy and comparison, that constant weighing up if we are enough and needing to be seen to justify ourselves. Yet what you describe Monika and Jane is a commitment that goes way beyond this and commits to being in relationship with another to get a project done, not with concern on our own role within that.
When we as women knock out those things that get in the way of us experiencing all the beauty and joy that naturally lies there between women there is a power that can be felt that comes from heaven.
It’s very beautiful to see two women claim how awesome their working relationship is and what this has then brought for each of you, as a team and no doubt for others in your presence. When working together in this way it will be there for everyone to feel.
Leading the way indeed Ariana. It’s truly a way forward for women in all of our relationships. Leading to true intimacy with each other.
Traditionally we share so much time with the people we work with, men and women, why would we not want to have great working relationships? This is not the experience of a lot of people with bullying and abuse at high levels. It’s so great that you have both written this and mentioned that you call out abuse, even if it’s seemingly small, for if we don’t do this then no one learns and no one grows. It’s about making relationships real.
Such an important topic Jane. There are relationships and partnerships happening everyday as we work and interact with people. Some are very simple and others seem very complicated. You offer great understanding of why this can be happening, which brings a choice of awareness so we can observe if there are reactions coming up that are getting in the way of our hearts simply opening to appreciating who each of us are and what we truly bring.
Sandra, your comment has bought awareness to me that when my relationships with other women do not flow and instead feel complicated that there is something to look at, ‘we can observe if there are reactions coming up that are getting in the way of our hearts simply opening to appreciating who each of us are and what we truly bring.’ on reflection I can feel that there can be judgment or a holding back for various reasons that stop my relationships with some women being that of a power couple, great to ponder on.
I agree Rebecca. That judgment can be really capping, not only to the other but to self too. The way we compare each other as women is incredibly insidious, so insidious in fact that we don’t realise consciously that we are doing it, but it so gets in the way of having naturally fulfilling open relationships with one another.
I have the absolute pleasure of having 3 such power-couple relationships with women. They are the most precious ones in my life. But they start with ourselves. We must be ready and willing to be completely honest with ourselves and with each other, we must as fully as possible let the other’s love in and as fully as possible let ours out. We must commit to learning, and growing together, from each other’s wisdom and abilities. And this is just the beginning for once this foundation is solid the magic of true girl power starts to reveal itself and no other type of relationship compares to the the joy and evolution of the power-house duo.
What I have learned in working together with women is that once it gets complicated, it is time to stop and see what is going on. True working together does not need any complication as when everybody is doing what she needs to do, it just works out all beautifully.
What a beautifully refreshing blog, thank you ladies. And I love that you have shared it, calling for a new normal, the one that is already natural for us all…because the truth is, there should be many more power couples of women gracing workplaces and beyond. Thank you for the inspiration!
Women working as power couples – would it wonder when they became hugely successful and set a new standard of doing business that definitely would rock the male dominated approach to business worldwide? Probably we don´t even know what we miss out on in business and work life until we get to experience it done the way described here.
Alex I love what you have shared in your comment. My feeling is that our male dominated business worldwide needs a different style too and I am sure that we miss out something important – otherwise we would not have so much people suffering e.g. from burn out. I am sure that what Monika and Jane are offering in their amazing blog is this kind of change.
Jane and Monika, it’s feels very expansive how you have both developed a relationship where you can honestly call out any abuse from each other without any reaction from the other person. How if all relationships were like this? It’s so simple but it would change everything.
As I read this beautiful piece today written by Jane and Monika I was feeling that if all women (and men) worked together and lived together with such harmony, intimacy and with true expression particularly if abuse was felt in another offering a true reflection with complete understanding that that behaviour ‘is not who they are’ this would completely change how the world is ‘running’ today. Basing ‘all’ relationships on love first the dynamics of these relationships in homes and workplaces would certainly flow much differently and the quality of the end results would energetically inspire more of the same. The possibilities would be endless.
There is so much intimacy in your relationship Jane and Monika. A far cry from the toughness of ‘girl power’ which aims to prove that girls are ‘worthy’ or ‘better’. Your relationship feels tender and joyful and honouring, which opens the way for true power shared by two wonderful women. Such a difference, and one worth noticing.
Jane and Monika, I love this article, since reading it i have been reflecting and observing my relationships with women, those that feel powerful and flow and are supportive and those that have the potential to be this.
Thank you Monika and Jane it is a great reminder to appreciate when we experience the power of women working together, flourishing in their roles and responsibility and not judging or competing wth each other. I have recently over last several months been experiencing a beautiful working relationship with a member of our staff, we have been able to support each other in our roles and together we have achieved more in organisation and structure.
I have had a similar experience in my work too Amita and it feel extraordinary for the genuine love and respect that is there. It’s interesting we do not see each other socially, but when we see each other at work (which is less now than it was) there is a genuine affection and willingness to work through together whatever is going on. It’s very beautiful.
How great to start this conversation! Girl Power implies a dominance over men and you are showing us it is simply about women appreciating each other and allowing their full potential to emerge in a team. It is beautiful to work in a team where there is harmony, so much work gets done because everyone is fully present and ideas simply flow, everyone makes a contribution and everyone’s contribution is fully appreciated.
True Carmel. Here there is no dominance, in fact there is no need to dominate because of understanding that in a harmonious relationship every person play their part and does so knowing that there part is as important and valuable as the next person. With that sense of equality there is no need for dominance.
The photo of both of you Jane and Monika, is so radiant. I can see the joy you are having in life and together. This is one of the best ingredients of being powerful.
Kerstin, I agree the radiance from Jane and Monica is sublime. This is one of the best ingredients of being powerful. I can also see an openness, non imposing-ness and sensitivity, which added creates a very powerful mix in deed.
I find the radiant photos and the read inspiring. What sticks out for me is the power behind the power, the power which emanates harmony, the power which emanates union and compassion.
Working on my own comparison issues and appreciating myself more has reduced my sense of not being enough and increased my sense of self worth. One day self appreciation will be taught as a matter of course and gossip and jealousy will be a thing of the past. Go woman power!
There is this research that all-male and all-female groups are less effective than mixed groups. It might be because we are less indulgent when the other sex is around but what you are describing here is that all-women groups can be just as effective if they support each other in full in their expression. That actually makes sense.
The power of women being and working together is always there unfortunately too often we let moods and personal stuff come between us. Instead of supporting and enjoying each other we then go into comparing and start to draw lines and separation meanwhile forgetting and ignoring that we are always in the same boat as we are all women of this world and not so surprisingly with the same questions and problems no matter what race, colour or nationality we are.
Well said Esther. We are so caught up in comparison, jealousy and our own ‘personal stuff’ that we miss out on the power of women actually working together and supporting one another.
I agree we do not have to do much but turn our focus to what is there already. I work with a lot of women and can say that I deeply appreciate what each woman brings and who she is. It is very enriching and satisfying to accept the other for who she is and appreciate her in every moment/encounter. Then it is a given and something very natural to call us out when things aren’t going right for us, which sometimes is a simple `hello and how are you’ or a direct you ‘cannot speak to me like this’, a gentle touch on the back, a smile, a hug, whatever is needed. Then we natural find our way to be with and truly support each other.
I remember when the Spice Girls rose to fame with their version of ‘Girl Power’ which created a Girl Power revolution across the world. But was this true Girl Power? Given that this form of Girl Power was short lived and nothing really changed, I would think not. Through Estoeric Women’s Health I have had for the first time in my life a reflection of true Girl Power which has been inspired by Natalie Benhayon and many other truly beautiful tender women who have made the choice to reconnect with their inner most (their soul) and express their power from a place of vulnerability which in fact comes with so much strength. Observing and interacting with these women has turned on its head the ideals I had around what I thought was power, to recognise that true power comes when we choose a deep honouring connection to our body and then expressing from there. I feel deeply grateful to now know for myself what true girl power is.
It is deeply beautiful to hear and feel what is possible between women in a working relationship and the support this provides. It is a such a shame that this is currently more of a rarity than not… for the world would be a vastly different place if these relationships were developed and embraced.
Thanks for the reminder ladies, to deeply appreciate the beauty and the joy of true women power couples. I have experienced this, but am realising that I have not deeply appreciated it. Through appreciation we confirm and then offer ourselves the opportunity to continue to evolve our relationships with other women and offer the world a reflection of what true girl power is, in all its vulnerability and sensitivity.
This is a very beautiful sharing Monika and Jane and shows how 2 women in love and truth together can change a nation.
I agree Mary-Louise, their friendship and partnership was not confined by countries or borders and this is something we currently lack as a society, the ability to connect across the boundaries we have created and not them them effect the relationships we have.
I agree Simone and Sara are an inspiration to us all and definitely a power couple. We have many more power couples in our community and the joy of working together in a way you bring out the best in each other and allow the full power out is something to behold.
Equality was a word branded around in the 80’s and 90’s but it in truth there was no equality because everyone was trying to be better than another and felt that they had something to prove as a woman. I love what you bring here Jane, to be a power couple does not mean you have to dominate or demand certain rights, that each has their own skills to bring to the table and this is honoured and respected.
Generally, what passes for power, with women and men alike is beating, pushing, pulling and competing with others throughout life. I have always felt the intimacy and natural desire that is there for women to share with one another. But in reality, I have rarely seen this lived and breathed free from comparison and judgement of each other. It stands out like a sore thumb because as you both show, Monika and Jane, it is absolutely our true nature underneath to support, care and love another.
Monika what you have written has deeply reasonated with me as I feel women working together in their true power is the true way forward!
It has supported me to go deeper in my own relationships with women and in the workplace, thank you!
I remember the days of ‘girl power’ which manifested in Australia (in addition to the Spice Girls!) as a ‘girls can do anything’ exhortation to join a trade or industry typically the domain of men. While its great to open up fields to women that they’ve been traditionally excluded from and might indeed suit some, this is not where it’s at. For me at least, ‘girls can do anything’ has added up to ‘girls can go super-hard beating men at their game’ and ‘girls can do more… and more, and more!’. Women have always been capable. What we really need to learn is how to be true; how to be women first and take our gorgeousness everywhere and anywhere we go.
Love this line Victoria…’‘girls can do anything’ has added up to ‘girls can go super-hard beating men at their game’ and ‘girls can do more… and more, and more!’.’..because I can so relate. This is what I did for many years and not something I would recommend. With my new level of awareness I love expressing the delicate, sweet and true me which is super powerful and sexy.
Absolutely Victoria. It not about our capabilities in the end but more about being true to who we are… the rest will flow naturally.
It’s great that you identify bringing a ‘mood’ as a form of abuse. We tend to think of moodiness in others as unpleasant yet quite acceptable; as the moody person, we feel entitled to our moods. Yet all our moods (or our acceptance of others’ moods) show us is the extent to which we have shirked responsibility and indulged in self / allowed others to indulge. This is not something we want to ignore as it impacts our day, our capacity to work together and to build true connections.
I like it very much Victoria that you have comment on the subject that a mood is a form of abuse as it is really so. It is for us so normal to be abused in that way that we are not aware of it anymore. So therefore it is good to bring our awareness back to it and to allow to feel what harm it caused in our bodies so that we can let go of this kind of abuse in the end.
Absolutely Victoria. Being ‘moody’ or emotional is not a luxury that we have, as it actually has a huge affect on other people and things around us. Having so many ups and downs, as you say, shows the extent of our irresponsibility.
Yes, this is still something we need to understand and accept, that moods are something we choose and that the people around us are never to blame but that the responsibility lays with us to deal with and clear what there is for us to clear.
Especially since a change in mood can be done in a split second. A mood is harming both for ourselves and for others and is a sign of me not wanting to deal with your stuff. Sharing what I feel and taking responsibility is healing for all.
Jane & Monika I am inspired by your commitment to build honesty and therefore greater intimacy to your relationship. The ease and flow you describe is gorgeous to experience and very productive at the same time, and yes I believe as women we all experience this flow at some or another. Bringing it into all relationships with women is my aim.
‘…we have all experienced relationships with women at work or in our lives where there is tension, comparison, jealousy, lack of self worth issues, where we feel judged, or unequal, where we make ourselves less.’
Yes we have, and don’t they feel awful. Leaving all that aside opens the door to so much more. We have been missing out on potentially fantastic relationships for a long time while we’ve waded around in the difficulty of not knowing how to be with each other as women. This is something to invest time in learning and mastering.
Jane & Monika this is a great conversation to start, especially so close to International Women’s Day. The phrase ‘girl power’ does not express the beautiful harmony that women can bring to relationships. In my workplace I see how two women naturally and efficiently complement each other when we hold events, and the rest of the team comes together around this hub. There are four women in total and we work in pairs together on different aspects of the event – this powerful synergy is not fully appreciated and celebrated, though I know we all feel it. Thank you for bringing this to my attention – I definitely am going to acknowledge and celebrate this at our next meeting.
Great to open this topic up Monika and Jane and ask about a quieter, truer version of ‘girl power’ – one we might have missed due to its lack of fanfare. The intimacy you speak of is gold.
And intimacy takes time and trust to develop. We’ve all been so hurt as a result of our ill-relationships with women. I wish I could say we could all drop those hurts in a moment (and that choice is certainly available to us) however many run deep. Working together on a project is a wonderful opportunity to re-imprint all that has gone before.
I agree Victoria, I have found since working closely on a volunteer project with another woman I am learning what true intimacy and connection is. As someone who has struggled and still struggles to some extent to connect with other women, I feel I am learning so much through this connection and so much of it is now filtering out to all my other relationships. I am learning to be more open with women I have had issues with or have held onto old hurts with and it is amazing to see what is shifting as a result. We may not be able to change the way other people are or how they see us, but we can change the way we choose to be with others and our self in life.
Yes project working is a wonderful way to heal old hurts and build trust. It supports us to feel each others areas of strength and appreciate each other’s precious expression. All along the way we can re-learn to work in harmony together. It is not always comfortable… but evolution never is 🙂 🙂
Yes I love what you have said Victoria – this level of intimacy is healing and making the choice to be a part of this way of being will bring quietly powerful change.
Wouldn’t it be nice to hear conversations at work at morning tea about harmonious working relationships in action rather than the gossip and ‘he said’, ‘she said’ banter that so commonly is the focus…one by one we change the world.
I like this, Marika, very practical and simple.
I so agree Marika. What struck me when I read your comment is that I don’t think I have ever heard in the work place anyone discussing harmonious working relationships. It is not that they don’t exist for I have seen and experienced them, it is that they are overlooked in favour of any office drama that might be going on. This is a great wake up call for me to express more my appreciation of the harmony that exists at work.
Yes the world could use a big dose of ongoing appreciation…we so easily focus on what isn’t working leaving no space to build appreciation. What we focus on we magnify, and so rather than focusing on what the problem is and complaining about that or engaging with others on this level, as Lucy has said above, we can instead live the change/future that we want to see and be in.
‘What we focus on we magnify’ Thank you Marika – the simplicity of this stopped me in my tracks this morning.
Yes, this is an inspiration to have, to stop gossiping and only speak with respect and the intention of love with and about each other.
What a turn around that would be for most work places – appreciation instead of competition.
We all feel it when someone gossip’s about us, it doesn’t feel good in our body. And we also feel in our body, when we speak without respect about another, how this doesn’t expand us, but brings contraction and narrowness.
I worked on an International Women’s Day event a few days ago and there was a mixture of people there I had worked with in different capacities, home work and volunteering. It was extraordinary to see everyone alongside each other and how everyone worked. I have had many comments since about the people who I brought along to help me set up who I had been working with in the way you have mentioned in this blog. The comment was about how beautifully they worked together. It stood out and inspired others to consider working this way as well. It was a big day and a big event and yet we got it set up in time and taken down with no fuss and drama. There are many learnings from the day and I have learnt that I can ask for much more support than I did, but now I know where I need support and where others need support also, so the next years’ event and all the events in between become a learning opportunity. The reason for me sharing this is that we don’t need to live in a perfect world to do this, we simply need to be the difference we want to see in the world and it is infectious!
I love this line Lucy…’we simply need to be the difference we want to see in the world and it is infectious!’. Living our future seeds forward our life to be.
I love this line too Marika. It is a very profound remark. So often we complain that the world is as it is, but we do not realise that through our own integrity and living inspiration we can ignite a more loving way in others by pure reflection.
Yes indeed it does 🙂 And it takes away all the excuses!!
When we work together harmoniously it is the greatest gift we can give to our clients, the people we are working for and with and ourselves, as true harmony is a foundation on which everything can strive and unfold.
I love how you emphasize the importance of space to experiment and learn. Perfectionism is a killer for brotherhood and get’s us nowhere.
When we come to a place within ourselves of knowing that who we are is more than enough, we can then appreciate another equally so. There is then no need to obtain power through what we do or over another and no need to compare as there is an understanding that the love present is simply a reflection of the love we are. When we unite in this way we are powerful to no end, a union that in fact gives great cause for true celebration.
It is so true that our behaviour of comparison and jealousy is simply a symptom of the fact we aren’t truly appreciating our own worth. When we can do that, we can then also begin to appreciate the worth of others without it detracting from our own.
Whenever I feel an inkling of comparison or jealousy creeping into my relationships with other women I am usually super aware of this and will appreciate them for what they bring before comparison or jealousy can take hold. As you have shared Rebecca, this allows me to appreciate myself and what I bring as well.
This is something we need to become more aware of – often we simple brush it to one side, ignore it or try and cover it up. However if left undealt with it can not only erode the friendship, but also your own self worth, as you are constantly putting yourself down.
Yes Rebecca I agree the worth of others then becomes something we know and support and bring forth… when we appreciate ourselves we want others to do the same. It’s a natural part of relationships and therefore business.
Exactly, instead of wanting to bring people down to feel better about ourselves, we want to build them up
Spot on!
Absolutely Rebecca this is powerful point to observe. As when we appreciate our worth there is no need to compare. Then in fact when we see this comparison and jealousy at play we see it for what it is and a there is no need to take it personally, be hurt and react. We instead can respond with love in that moment, and so bring the truth of who we are to the relationship.
You bring a very important point – that when we feel someone else is in comparison and jealousy we can have far more love and understanding, knowing that they are not appreciating themselves and all they bring.
Also when feeling bored, or thinking every day is the same this is a clear sign of you not appreciating who you are and what you bring in detail. For actually it is not about what we do, it is about offering evolution.
I agree – life can be super simple and have a routine, but there is a beauty and contentment and harmony in the simple routine, that just has to be appreciated.
Yes, and the deepening that comes from the appreciation makes it never 100% the same.
This is super inspiring Jane and Monika and in perfect timing with the themes we have been discussing around International Women’s Day – Appreciation of ourselves and what we bring and overturning the myth that we need to push and be hard as women at work. The detail you have presented is like a ‘how-to’ guide for us all, to see where we can develop more presence, intimacy, honesty, commitment, playfulness and joy in our working relationships, as well as all of our relationships with women. With this as our working template, there is no limit to what can be achieved.
In those intimate times in which I have shared my living space or worked harmoniously with women, the thing that has really stood out to me is how naturally and beautifully everything has flowed
Yes, Jane – when we live in harmony with ourselves we can feel that innately we are all the same and that there is no longer need for jealousy and comparison in the way we respond and relate to one another as women. Women who are in a natural flow with themselves bring inspiration to those around them as others can feel the beauty that is a woman in harmony with herself.
Yes Jane this a beautiful observation, one that highlights how when we connect to love, be it within ourselves first and the same within others, we are naturally aligned to a quality that flows in harmony with the Divine order of the universe and as such we receive what is needed to grow, learn and evolve together.
It is possible to share love with anyone, including workmates, and build amazing relationships that the world can only benefit from. If workplaces were about people and the quality of their relationships, we may find that productivity goes through the roof.
Melinda I only can agree as it is my own experience – to have an amazing relationship at my workplace help us all to deal with all the ongoing problems in a much easier and playful way. With that we are less exhausted and ill.
I agree Melinda, productivity is a by-product that comes from when we make it about love first.
Yes Melinda just imagine if a business put the welfare of their employees and the relationships within the business, before profit. Wow what a great place that would be to work; no one would want to leave; the quality of work would naturally improve and I am guessing the profit might just improve too!
Ingrid, spot on – a rare scenario indeed to come across in our world today. Sadly there is so much greed and the need to put money and business before people! There is one business that I know of however, that is incredibly successful and yet their approach is to put people first, including their employees. This business is Universal Medicine and you can read about it and the success here:https://www.universalmedicine.com.au.
Melinda, I think you could be right. If we want to increase productivity then we need to improve the quality of our relationships first. If we make work about people first and profit second we may actually find our profit margins actually increase through well-being, less sick days and retention of people at work!
I agree Melinda. What would it look like if the focus of workplaces was swapped from making money and profits, to the people and quality of relationships between staff members. It would indeed be interesting to see what happens to the trend of productivity.
Yes Melinda when we bring love into our working environments our intimacy and connections just go up a whole new level. Work gets done with ease and the feel in our workplaces is amazing.
I agree Melinda. If we were to make everything about relationships (which indeed it is) rather than systems, life would be vastly different. Simply having one open encounter with someone can change your day – imagine how it would feel to have encounters like this all day/every day?
Yes it makes a huge difference Melinda, and in my experience most of the stress in workplaces is caused not so much by the work but by people not taking each other into account. All too often there may be technical issues yes, but the real issues and hold-ups are with people not getting on together and allowing each other space to express and be, and competition plays a part here, and once that comes in, it introduces defence and everyone is operating from behind their protective shells. When it’s about people first and finding a way to work together so that it’s about quality relationships then everything else somehow works out, and yes productivity would increase but it’s a great side affect, the best of all is people enjoy being and working together more, and it’s a joy to see and be part of that. It has to be about people first, otherwise we just make things more difficult than they need to be.
I totally agree. To make work about people before profit is the key yet so many companies are not willing to let go and trust. The people running them must first experience the power of trust for themselves before they can truly support others to align to this business model.
Spot on Melinda! I love what you have said here:
“If workplaces were about people and the quality of their relationships, we may find that productivity goes through the roof.”
These are wise words indeed, and words that all companies and workplaces could benefit from reading and pondering on! Of course such changes begin with us, each of us, and the changes we make within ourselves first and foremost so that we can then bring this to others.
Melinda, this is beautiful and I know it to be absolutely true!.
A lot of companies claim it is about people for them, but in reality it is not. Something like this cannot be empty words, but has to be lived by management to set the example for everybody.
I agree Monika. We have to truly live something before we can set an example.
Employees are more honest about being selfish but being selfish and only out for one’s own advantage helps neither the company nor us.
It doesn’t work for any of us either being employee or board member if we make it about ourselves. It only works if me make is about all of us equal and with all I mean all people on this planet.
Yes, when we simply are love in how we are and what we do, we are always sharing love and when another reciprocates even a little bit that feels great.
Working harmoniously with another is sadly not the norm for most people, yet when we experience this as a way to work, then we know deep within that this is actually normal. I have also had experience of being part of an amazing ‘team’ at work, and we are fortunate to experience this awesome and powerful flow that happens when we get together. When this flow and power is there, the effect is phenomenal – it feels like there are far more people working than just the two of us, it is like a synergistic effect, and we are always ‘pulling each other up’ but not in the sense of correcting the other, but in the sense of pulling each other in each other’s wakes, if this makes sense. In other words, working on something together is easer, faster and actually energising, which seems to boost us on to the next thing that is needed. Certainly an amazing experience to have. And I love that Jane and Monika talk about how important it is to appreciate this, as this too grows the relationship even more.
Gorgeous Henrietta, pulling each other up, that’s exactly how it works and not in the way of correction but we inspire each other when we work in this way and it feels like there is so much support and so much can be done beyond what can often seem possible, it’s amazing and I know when I’ve been in teams in this way, there’s a magic afoot, and often when we don’t know how to do things just in the willingness to be absolutely open with each other, to meet and appreciate each other, it all gets sorted, it just flows. And it all starts from that loving nurture and appreciation of ourselves, building a solid true relationship with each other and being absolutely willing to go where it’s needed and to support each other as all evolve together. It’s what brotherhood is and how we’ve designed to work, so while it’s not common and not often lived in our world today, because it’s an innate part of who we are, when we come across it, we know and can feel the truth of it. You’ve reminded me Henrietta that the most important thing is be to honest, open and willing to explore this in ourselves and with others, no protection, no holding back and no need to get things right – it’s a surrender to knowing we are absolutely enough and the unfoldment of what is needed is each thing and each moment. You’ve just inspired me today all over again – thank you.
Beautifully said Henrietta and Monica. Most of us are not in the habit of supporting each other to that extent, and do not know what true support looks and feels like. We go to work in defence, thinking that we need to defend ourselves against what my happen in our working day. But when we start turn that around and actually work together, when we let ourselves bring understanding, vulnerability and truly communicate with each other, our relationships go from strength to strength and it is no longer a dog- eat-dog world.
I think I too have been inspired all over again, re-reading our comments, Monica! Unfoldment in relationships is all about honesty and vulnerability and true communication, just as Jenny has mentioned above too. And I would add the other ingredient which is TRUST – something to develop within ourselves day by day in increments.
‘it’s a surrender to knowing we are absolutely enough and the unfoldment of what is needed is each thing and each moment’ so, each woman, feeling and knowing she is enough, has no need to drag another woman down with criticism or jealousy – in that way gossip and moaning and bitching has no place at work – instead mutual appreciation becomes the natural and harmonious way to be.
Absolutely Henrietta, I can feel that where i work there can be little communication between colleagues and that without this connection to each other there can be lack of harmony and flow and that working like this holds little value for ourselves or each other, but I can feel how this can be changed by simply engaging with each other, even if its a simple hello, how are you? that this can build a feeling of working together as a team and that this is much more enjoyable, loving way to work, rather than heads down just getting on with the task.
Spot on Rebecca – it is that initial reaching out to another and then the consistency with this that builds the trust, that then allows the relationships to move onto a deeper level. And the automatic and empty “hi how are you” is not the answer as way to tick a box, rather it is about meeting and greeting ourselves first and foremost before it is about bringing this to another, with true warmth and connection. But consistancy here is the key.
Monika and Jane your photos are absolutely beautiful. I can feel the strength and clarity in you both and you working as a team is truly WOMAN Power for the world
🙂 🙂
I love these photos too. The openness, joy, strength, delicacy, power, ease, grace and wisdom simply radiate off the screen. Wow what an example for humanity!
what a beautiful example OF humanity. 😉
Love it Jenny! Yes – a beautiful example OF humanity…
In effect, two women working together in such a way means that they are working with the flow of life, trusting each other with no hidden agendas or making in about themselves, their work ethic is based on love pure and simple, love for themselves and each other, and having a common aim for the good of all. Jane and Monika are truly an inspiration, and just imagine if the whole world were to work this way what a very different place it would be.
A power couple can only be a power couple when they don’t make it about themselves.
They are Kathryn, gorgeous photos of two beautiful women who individually are powerhouses, and together, they are a dynamic duo 🙂
I have experienced this flow and easy with working with women in a team at a workplace. Where no comparison or jealousy was present but allowing intimacy and trust to lead the way, this felt amazing.
It feels amazing and it is also very productive.
Yes, having lots of harmonious, supportive relationships is quite, quite amazing and we can live in a way that we can have that relationship with a large number of people.
I will pinch you, gently though. Gorgeous to read your appreciation of the quality of the relationships in your life. To feel this is there always and that this is only the beginning of more and more people starting to work and live like this is a huge present.
What a great blog to read, once again Women in Livingness sets a new bar! The appreciation of the dedication to this level of relationship is unusual. It brings understanding to what is going on in each other’s lives but does not give permission to dump the consequences of what is ‘going on’ on each other. This cuts so many unnecessary dynamics so you can get to more productive and effective work.
Yes, Lucy, and we experience also there isn’t an indulging in what is going on in our lives. Things get shared, when relevant to learn from and then we work. In working together in this way so many things get exposed and healed at the same time.
It certainly is time to start this conversation, thank you Jane and Monika. I am truly fortunate to have come to the position with my work where every day I experience and appreciate the absolute beauty and joy of a power couple in action, which I am part of with the gorgeous woman I job share with. Officially my manager, not once has my colleague held this power over me. On the contrary I have always felt a complete openness for me to lead if there is I felt something was needed, and at many times I do. From day one there has not been one fight between us and 4 and a half years later we are now more dynamic and stronger than ever and have so much fun. We talk openly and constantly express what we are feeling, of our weakness and our strengths, and work together to oven come challenges. Our working relationship is this way because there is an undeniable quality of love, respect and admiration for each other, for what we each bring to the role and a dedication to working in a loving way. This flow between us is felt through our work, by our guests and colleagues and our workplace in general, and now we naturally share this same relationship outside of our workplace. My working relationship has been for me an incredible marker of what is possible in every relationship when we dedicate ourselves to love and appreciate the power we are, and is between us waiting to be lived. When love is our focus, our truth is lived and we inspire and are inspired by each other to be the best we can be.
Gorgeous and powerful sharing, Carola. Experiencing how a working relationship can be and how it can keep evolving is certainly a marker for all our relationships.
It is deeply inspiring to watch and feel two women working together in harmony. It reminds us all of the true power of sisterhood.
Toughness demolishes all access to the inherent power that women can connect to when honouring themselves deeply; their cycles, their sacredness, in building a connection with our most innate nature – stillness, and from there move through the world with the grace we so naturally are.
Power of the woman has nothing to do with how able she is to hold down the fort, and pull through against all odds, the power of the woman is the reflection of her stillness in her actions and movement, it is the grace through which can be delivered exactly what is needed when needed.
And so the whole rara of what a women all can do – stops. And we are simply left to feel, we are tender ladies, and so divine – if we use a force to push and punish – there is less space for all this greatness. Let’s turn it up – and accept everything we have in us! This might be much more power then we try to pretend of having with this outside forces.
Same as the fact that we can not truly function in full (100%) when we got no arm or legs, eyes or tonge, mouth or nose.. So can we not live with doing only, and we need a mechanism that actually connects ‘what we do’ with ‘who we are’ , as then we have a balance to stand on. And equally these two need to be lived together in balance, in order to truly work in harmony.
The power we as women have together is amazingly powerful, and indeed not a girl power as such that is described by society. We have real power when it comes down to holding each other in grace and love. This is what is what we deeply miss in our world and especially together as women. But boy oh boy, we have some amazing wisdom and true love to share with each other and help each other to evolve to the next level of this wisdom and truth. Therefore sharing, being open and honest and responsible for our level of letting each other in is key. We are here to be together , not alone in any way shape or form – as our love forms our way.. a way to be holding each other in warmth, tenderness and absolute care.
Yes, Danna, no one can do it on their own. We are here to work and evolve together and to restore brotherhood on earth.
Yes to restore everything , for once and for all, we can only do this together.
Innately we all carry this feeling of ‘togetherness’ in us. We all want to return back to this true and simple way of living. We are our on our way back to surrender to the connections and to stop fighting ourselves and others.
Yes absolutely we all carry this inside.. Now it is finding our way back to it – but no worries , it is close and untouched.
And the beautiful thing is we will all get there. In the end no one is left behind.
Thank you Monika that is true!
It is amazing to read what is possible when two people are committed to developing a relationship we all benefit from the healing and learning.
I agree Nicole. What Jane and Monika have shared is a leading example of the way forward in developing relationships that simply en-lighten us all.
Yes for sure Nicole, I agree, when the commitment is to a relationship that is about love and genuine support first and foremost it cannot but benefit everyone.
To have the ability to be humble, truthful and gracious when we have not got something quite right can only come from a commitment to truth, love and harmony.
It is so common among women having to prove themselves and outdo each other and even the men. It seems that many women hold this strong believe that their worth depends on their output, which is so untrue. Therefore it is very inspiring if two or more women start to appreciate their being women first and support each other in that before they go into any activity and as you are sharing “…we know if we are tasked with something we will get it done together.”
Spot on Judith – often we don’t get to experience of witness such power relationships, for there is much jealousy and comparison that comes in to interfere. But we do have the choice to let go of that and appreciate ourselves and all that we can bring to the other, as well as appreciate all that the other brings too.
Jealousy and comparison is something we need to be open to look at – whether it is coming towards us or through us both avenues need to be dealt with. This is a learning process as it is an energy we usually do not like to feel and try to blend out of our awareness.
Jealousy and comparison are indeed unpleasant energies, and so it can be very tempting to just turn a blind eye to them or ‘blend them out of our awareness’ as you have so well said Judith. And so the only remedy is to be open to look at it and deal with it. Otherwise it stays, festers and just gets bigger.
I love this last phrase too. I know for myself I have a tendency to think I should ‘sort it all out’ by myself but how much easier, simpler and enjoyable is it to work with another? It’s as if we’re all too afraid to even let ourselves let go of the need to be in control or do it all on our own.
Yes, Victoria, surrendering to what we can bring and to all the true relationships can be very challenging, but is the way forward.
That is a great point you are making here Victoria, that I can very much relate to, this need to stay in control and not being able to trust another enough to openly share my weaknesses and vulnerability. However we can only experience true support if we are ready to open up to another.
Yes, thank you Jane, great point and something I am learning recently, how important it is to express what I feel with the other person first and not brush over that and make it all about the task, as things, even small things then get in the way of us being really focused and productive and can even create larger complications somewhere down the track.
“in a way where there is flow, an equalness, and where things get done” I have experienced large groups of people working together to clear a space, very little was needed to be said, everyone chose their part and the job was completed without complication or drama, what struck me most was how totally effortless this was, a group purpose focused into one job.
Yes I have experienced this also Lucindag and there is a magical way in which each person simply moves with purpose and the group gets the job done together. Delightful 🙂
When there is nothing to get in the way, no self, this is absolutely true. Group harmony! The inverse – bucket loads of self – is a lot more challenging to handle. Another aspect to master in group work is the ability to speak and listen to views different to our own without reaction. In the working out of the activity and purpose we often need to communicate – we’re not quite yet at the stage where not much needs to be said in every circumstance! – and in our attempts to communicate / listen we can be quite clunky.
The key word that comes up when I read your comment is ‘simplicity’. When each of us can surrender to being the part we can and have to play as part of the whole there is simplicity that leads to flow, connection and brotherhood.
Angela Merkel and Beate Baumann are a great example of such a harmonious and extremely effective power couple who very much enjoy working together.
I was thinking earlier of a another so-called power couple of a less harmonious kind – Hillary and Bill. Much is being made of the possibility of a first female US president but would a US under Hillary look much different to a US under Bill? To me, Hillary feels like a woman who has focused on ‘out-male-ing’ the men to make it to the top of her game. If I were a US citizen I wouldn’t see any true advantage to electing her on the basis of what she could bring as a woman.
Dear Monika & Jane,
Your article is a model for all. To commitment to love of self and each other, to encourage each other to maintain ones connection to ones self is to be followed, nurtured and fully introduced into all walks of life. There is nothing more powerful than women allowing intimacy and a deep care of each other to lead their relationship.
Beautifully said Leigh. I can really feel the quality of what you share, as well as the quality in what you share, which means you must be already living it or can at least feel that future. And if I’m feeling, I must be too. And if I can feel it, so can others. This is how it starts, with a simple article and comment, written in a lived quality of beingness!
“We are learning not to accept the status quo as we feel uncomfortable if our relationship feels stagnant, stale, or like it has hit a road-block.” Despite this being a working relationship I can relate to my own relationship with my husband and the days weeks, months when we have sunk back into the arrangement, not truly appreciating one another or making the commitment to evolve our relationship more deeply.
I know what you mean, lucindag. Committing to evolution in a relationship requires an ever-fresh pair of eyes, willing to continually read where things are at, and discuss and deepen.
“The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.” Thank-you Jane and Monika for your commitment, firstly to yourselves but equally to each other, the bench mark of integrity and truth that you are unfolding is hugely inspiring and a rich example of the might of our power as women to work together.
We have all settled for the arrangement of having a ‘good time’ together or stepped into the illusion that ‘loving’ each other is enough, when in fact it is not. The name of the game is evolution and a relationship that doesn’t evolve feels stagnant and draining or boring.
This is such a Powerful article to me. There’s many, many things I can comment on – but for now I’d like to share that I feel inspired by the appreciation that you hold for both each other, yourselves and the appreciation for it. Really inspiring and making me aware of the relationships that I’ve got in my life and didn’t appreciate so consciously. Thank you dearly. This conversation is indeed very needed.
It is undeniable the amazing power there is when two women come together and work without the competition or bitchiness or gossip, i have seen it for myself and the results are truly inspiring.
I have heard many women in my life complain about being subjugated by men and generally oppressed in society. Whilst it is undoubtedly true that men have a lot to answer for in terms of how they treat and respect women, I have often wondered how long this would actually continue for if women stopped undermining each other and actually worked together to say enough is enough.
Working in the health care industry particularly in allied health I have worked with a lot of women and in many workplaces where women are the majority. I have witnessed both the destructive force of jealousy, competitiveness and comparison between women and also the magic of women working together in harmony and purpose.
Yes working in a department store I have had the pleasure of experiencing a deep level of harmony between the women working together and at times a heavy fragmented feeling of friction. The harmony is joyful and the friction is almost unbearable.
In any workplace, when we work together in harmony and with purpose great work is done. We learn from each other and can grow from this magical experience.
There are certain industries where there are either much more men or more women working in it and causing different dynamics. We can all learn so much from each other if we are open to it. I have a heard so many women express they prefer working with me for it is more ‘open’ and less hidden agenda’s. There is beauty in all the variations and as women we need to learn to work with other women without the ‘distractions’.
This blog made me stop to ponder on my relationships at work. There is indeed lots to appreciate about how I get on with others in the workplace, and so much we can support each other with when there is no judgement.
Thank you Debra, it is great to take a moment to ponder and appreciate the relationships I have with women at work and how much I enjoy the sweetness and tenderness that comes with that.
On recent International Women’s Day I invited my female colleagues from a specific working environment for a lunch to share what it is like being a women in the working world today. This was a beautiful way to appreciate each other and to build and deepen our relationship with more intimacy by sharing how things are for us.
There is nothing more joyful than seeing people working together in harmony, no judgement no one person better than another each one knowing what their purpose is, the work becomes effortless and with a natural flow and because there is a flows there are not the usual constraints of time.
The word that comes to me after reading your comment is ‘simplicity’ and how this allows everything to flow as you also wrote. Each of us has the responsibility to keep coming back to this and if there is no simplicity call it out and change it back to simplicity.
So true Monika we loose the flow when we make things complex. Recognising this then makes it much easier to bring everything back to simplistic form no matter how complicated it may have become.
True, Alison, when in complication we only need to stop, acknowledge we are complicating things and make the choice to go back to simplicity. For originally everything is simple. We are the ones that complicate life.
Women working together in love, harmony and development – watch out world and be ready for that turn around.
I feel inspired by your sharing and writing to deepen my relationships with my colleagues and with women in general and I can feel the power what lies within this. The world will change – it already does. A good thing!
When women work together to do what is needed without jealousy or comparison, there is no stopping them. Such powerful relationships can achieve so much.
‘Girl Power’ has always felt like some thing to do with a woman being so sort of super woman in what she is able to do in her life. It brings a hardness across with it and denotes subtly the drive to be equal to men when used in certain contexts. The way you both have presented the true power of a woman is from her stillness, her beauty and her fragility. A completely different expression of power as it is not about what is done but the amazing strength that comes from within a woman to be bringing to all of life
Good point Joshua, in movies, adverts, magazines, etc. “girl power” is always shown as a toughness and men-like quality, it is very rare that women are appreciated in their innate qualities of stillness, beauty and fragility – it is in fact often the case that these qualities are looked down upon and seen as weak.
Any power seen in the typical ‘girl power’ is nothing compared to the true power seen when a woman embraces all she naturally is in full
Spot on Judith and Joshua – ‘girl power’ is not the same as the true power seen in a woman when she embraces her fragility and stillness. Our current world shakes in its boots when a true woman embraces her power – hence why most of the world want to avoid this. It brings us all to our knees and confronts us lovingly so with the responsibilities we have shirked for eons. And this includes all of us as women who have shirked the responsibility of embody the true women we are.
Brilliant comment Joshua, full of wisdom and deeply inspiring. This is a very empowering way to live and work together, expressing our beauty and fragility in stillness.
You hit the nail on the head, Joshua with your comment. The primary fuel for women activities is seen and felt as a drive with a push and hardness. In truth our stillness is the source women move from and has a different look and feel. It is here where true power comes from.
Your comment highlights a profound point Monika. Women are never not connected to their true Divine power and wisdom despite the enormous disconnection to it that may be felt. In truth it is all about learning to re-establish a relationship with that true power and never is it about trying to learn or connect with how to be it
I agree Joshua, even though we can’t feel the connection and don’t act accordingly the connection with our true Divine power is always there. And this uniting quality can be allowed at any moment.
Absolutely Monika, it is simply a choice. Not a choice in what we do necessarily but rather the quality of energy we choose to make our next movements in
Absolutely Joshua, and the way we move determines which quality of energy we choose. So it all starts with the quality of our movements.
This blog exposes what I used to think ‘good relationship’ was: it often just meant that we got on well, knowing well what the other was like – and how to be around each other – we knew what to say, what not to say. It feels like it was more about trying not to make the other upset, not to have argument, and if it was a work situation – just get things done. I can understand now how dishonouring that is to everyone involved, and I can very much relate to the stagnation you mention.
Great points here Fumiyo how we manage our relationships so they stay where they are at, evolution requires truth.
You describe beautifully what ‘an arrangement’ looks like and what this difference is with a true relationship where evolution is the name of the game, Fumiyo.
I have been in work situations where things just flew beautifully between myself and colleague but they would just be random occurrences, so we would be pleasantly surprised and just congratulate ourselves on the productivity and the quality we achieved. But in what you two have presented here, there is something completely different – there feels to be solidness in the way you two are choosing to live that would guarantee a certain quality in the outcome, and not a fluke hit or miss.
So beautiful to feel what is possible when we commit to love ourselves first, and not compromise that commitment in any situation or organisation, there’s equality no matter what role we each play in the group. “The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other” – absolutely inspiring. Thank you, Monika and Jane.
The simple fact of 2 women seeing each other for who they truly are and asking each othet to be all that they are is inspiring and healing for too often we as women have allowed ourselves to be caught in jealousy, comparison and putting each other down. Your blog asks all women to let go of the unnatural way of being with each other as the way forward for humanity lays in women coming back into this power.
Thank you Monika and Jane for this inspiring blog. I am working in a team with six women. Now one is leaving the team (she wants to do a one year world travel tour) and so she gave us a feedback: she said that she had never worked together with so many women and did not feel an ounce of jealousy. This was a new experience for her as she did not need to hold back with all of her qualifications and also got all the support she needed from us. She is sad to leave us and she really hopes to find a new team like us. That was a wonderful reflection for us and we all want to deepen this kind of working together.
What a beautiful confirmation for your team of the loving way all of you women work together. Your colleague takes this experience with her and can offer it anywhere else.
Jane and Monika, thank you for your beautiful blog. How lovely to be reminded of the ‘power couple’ relationship that can be between women, no matter what formal position they hold in the work place or outside of it. As you say, ‘The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other.’ This is about the development of true Brotherhood.
Yes, Lyndy, looking past the roles we have and simply see each another in their essence opens us up to truly loving relationships, also at work.
Monika and Jane, your photographs reflect an inner beauty, power and openness that would inspire anyone to want to work alongside you. Women in their true power working together is a gift to every workplace and the world. Thank you for this super inspiring blog of what is possible as the masks are dropped and commitment and honesty in communication begins.
A great blog Monika and Jane to start a much needed conversation on women working together in a way of valuing each other with appreciation, respect and honesty rather than being in comparison and jealousy.
“The truth is that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environments”.
A timely reminder on International Women’s Day today of the fact that our power as women working together isn’t from an assumed, feigned ‘girl power’ stance, itself all about how it looks from the outside, but that it is derived from building relationships built on trust, mutual respect, vulnerability, responsibility and truth.
The true power of women has to be lived and reflected in this world, for it is when we express in our power of stillness, we are inviting the whole world to live the same.
Jane & Monika thank you, I loved reading about the quality that you have and are developing in your relationship. I agree it is important to appreciate what is there that works well and to not hold back from raising things that don’t fit either, without judgment or attachment – something we can take to all our relationships!
Every relationship can be powerful, and in-truth, that is simply the natural definition of what a relationship is. How could a relationship not be powerful and the fact that most relationships do not reflect what is true power is something we have to deeply ponder on as humanity, for how far have we wandered away from what is simply evolution.
I love your comment Adele, it inspires me to deepen all my relationships wherever possible. Because if I am not continuously choosing this then I am also not choosing to evolve myself or humanity.
The term “girl power” is a bastardisation of what true power is for women. In true power there is no toughness, machoness, hardness—having a tough front may feel like we are in control temporarily, and yet we are never free from the consequences of making such a choice, our bodies always have to account for it. Power is only true when it is always true for all circumstances and for everyone.
‘Girl power’ is a derogatory term which belittles the very gender it is purporting to support, it is an aberration.
Exactly Gabrielle, ‘girl power’ wreaks of an arrogance that no matter what ‘we’re untouchable’ and in a sense that is exactly what I feel towards it, not wanting to go anywhere near that energy.
I agree Joseph and Adele – Girl power brings many connotations of never growing up, being hard and irresponsible etc. These do not reflect the truth of women in the fullness of their grace, beauty and true power that can evolve women to work together harmoniously without one shred of comparison or jealousy as clearly evident in this blog written by Monika and Jane.
Yes I agree Adele, the trouble with the term ‘girl power’ in the way it has been used is that I always felt it came with a hardness or a wish to dominate others. It always felt like an attempt to out-do the men at their own game. As a man I definitely did not feel included in this picture of a new world that was being painted. True power and equality of the sexes to me is acknowledging the strengths and qualities of both genders and working together to support each other to be powerful.
This is so true Adele, there is no power in leaving someonelse behind.
When a woman takes on a tough, hard and very male way of working, both the women and the men who work with her suffer, and from experience, it leaves people feeling devastated. Devastated by the energy of a woman who is living so very far from her true qualities, and has taken on a persona to survive which is also devastating for her if she were to allow herself to feel it.
The term ‘girl power’ for me comes still loaded with a feeling that females are in their prime as a young child. That everything a lady should aspire to, is about being innocent and pure, not in a true way, but more in the sense that they should never grow up. Contrast this with a woman’s true power, grace, elegance and undeniable knowing as shown here by you Monika and Jane. Its this maturity and stillness the world has been starved of for too long. Forget about gender equality, gender divineness is what you are working on here.
Beautiful Joseph. I love your substitute for gender equality, ”gender divineness’! If we all choose to re-connect to our divinity the gender thing will sort itself out without the usual ‘thought’ ‘campaigning’ ‘rhetoric’ making it hard-going and controversial.
Your comment is a wonderful complement to Jane and Monika’s blog Joseph. I love your term gender divineness.
Thank you Joseph for bringing divinity up. As we are all from divine origine connecting back to this so supports us in working together whether we are men or women. I can’t express enough how delightful it is to work together with Jane in this way and how everybody benefits from it.
Stunning article Jane – thank you so much for sharing! Trading criticism for curiosity is something that will have a huge positive impact on all relationships, including our relationships with ourselves. Thank you for the reminder, I will be taking this with me into my day 🙂
I have started to do this too, trading criticism for curiosity when I find myself reacting to something or doing something I perceive to be ‘wrong’, it allows me to accept where I am at without bashing or being hard on myself and I feel the hardness and protection melt away which allows me to move on instead of indulging in the madness of self-critique which can be very self-destructive if allowed to take hold.
So true Sandra, curiosity allows us the grace to accept and move on whereas criticism only compounds the issue and leaves us stuck in a very self-destructive space.
Yes Hannah, and what you say makes so much sense, because the relationship with us is key before any other. I love the idea of trading curiosity for criticism, because we can be so hard on ourselves in particular. It stands to reason that the kinder and more supportive we are to ourselves, the more this will also be our way with others.
Yes Debra, when we swap criticism for curiosity we create the space for profound change in our lives.
Every judgement or negative feeling about ourselves or others is gone if we apply observation to what we experience.
Wise words Monika R 🙂
The Power of a woman, is directly linked to the worth she holds for or of herself. A true worth that is from awareness and connection to her body held in respect and honour to affect how she walks, talks, moves, expresses, communicates, dresses or presents in this connection, her poise and natural confidence, beholden to no one or no thing other than her true self – to me this is Girl Power. This is beauty in action. This is not what I saw reflected back in the 90’s and is even more less so the case today with other current celebrities, where a woman’s power today seems to be shifting and moving away from physical brute strength – to achievement, seniority in the job/boardroom, status, influence and importance tied to the job a woman does. A woman who is free of such external influences, is a woman in her true power.
A massive yes in agreement to all of the above Zofia! As a woman I find the more I let go of the attachment to the many “ideas” I have about what it is to be a woman, the more I connect to the fact that it is not WHAT I do, but HOW I do it that is key – and the quality of this how is dependent on the level of love and care I have for myself and my connection to and honouring of myself as a woman. It is something that is ever deepening and expanding and I so appreciate reading blogs such as this and comments such as yours as it is a gorgeous support for this continued expansion.
The power of any relationship is in openness and going deeper, and a relationship is powerful because it involves more than one, so what is honored within a relationship becomes a movement that takes the both of us (or even more) consistently to a deeper level, where stagnation is impossible and growth is forever happening. A true relationship is simply gorgeous for the movement it reflects is a flow in line with the universe and it is natural. This is true whether the relationship is women to women, men to women or men to men. What a celebration for women like yourselves to re-initiate what is natural in life and at the work place.
So eloquently expressed Adele. True power is so open, so joyful, absolutely unimposing, and very natural in its feeling.
I agree Lyndy. Adele you poeticly capture beautifully the natural joyful flow and elegance of true relationship.
True Girl Power is a woman’s true beauty that is self-accepted. It’s in this way (of self-acceptance) she can inspire and truly empower another woman – without the comparison or jealousy going on. And where great work can flourish. There is nothing better than to work with a woman/women without such dynamic for the great feeling of true sisterhood which instils support and cohesion at work.
Absolutely Zofia. When women work together it is incredible – the world would be transformed if we were to drop our comparison, jealousy and self worth issues, as these are the three things that most prevalently prevent us from working harmoniously and effectively together.
Yes indeed the world would be transformed, all we have to do is drop those three things and kapow, the world changes!
I love this Zofia “True Girl Power is a woman’s true beauty that is self accepted” – a woman who knows her true worth.
This is a great reminder of the power of being with ourselves, trusting who we are and taking that trust everywhere we go and sharing it with humanity individually and in groups. People can feel someone who trusts themselves and thereby giving the opportunity for others to trust themselves. Trust is intrinsic in living of truth, love, harmony, stillness the foundations of living a joy-filled life.
We have to let go of each and every hurt we have in order to surrender to trust. That is our responsibility. If you combine this with observation and simplicity, work will flow and the connections will keep deepening.
“But is toughness needed in ‘girl power’” – since the 90s with Spice Girls, I remember ‘Girl Power’ being about girls living it up, being independent, self-assured often through financial independence, or drinking, expressing sexuality often with devil-might-care attitudes to ‘be free’ and ‘strong’ women. The actions or behaviours I felt were, and looking back now can see even more, in contra and seemingly in reaction to the natural and innate quality of harmony within the woman, and more like an assertiveness or battle that was quite aggressive. It seemed ‘to be strong’ aka ‘Girl Power’ was from a type of physical strength. A woman’s true power is not in physical strength but in the ability to lose the fight, combat or revolt, and more to accept within the grace that she is.
I agree Zofia. Having been a teenager when ‘Girl Power’ hit the scene I completely recognise what you have written here. The physicality was akin to putting on a costume (or suit of armour) and playing a role of what a woman thought she should be like if she was being powerful. This is so far from our true power as women which is found in the stillness, fragility, sacredness, preciousness and divinity of our innermost.
Thank you Jane and Monika for sharing with us what an intimate, loving, honest and equal relationship looks like at work where there is no comparison, jealousy, judgement or bitchiness happening . You both see the call in your work and together it is done, simply and lovingly together. Gorgeous flow.
In a society where comparison and competition is ripe between women, to feel for ourselves what is also possible – that we can be with ourselves and each other from a place of equality is an Absolute and Divine reminder of who we are, a true blessing for All.
This is true Giselle, what Monika and Jane present as a power couple working together in this way is awesome, and they don’t even live in the same country! Imagine what could be achieved if they worked in the same office as each other with their direct reflection to everyone around them, what an amazing inspiration they would bring.
Goes to show what is possible when women, together or apart, for themselves honour who they are first and foremost.
Beautifully expressed Giselle. There is an undeniable power in our connection when we unite in love, rather than the abuse that stems from comparison serving only to diminish and separate us from All that is already available within every one of us, waiting to be embraced, shared and lived.
Yes, it only takes 2 to start and everyone else gets the healing and the opportunity to make changes themselves.
What a great article and it is true, with women relationships I first think of fights, jealousy, gossiping, comparison and so on but then to read and feel what you are presenting here is gorgeous and the true way we as women can work together. And wow what a power this will bring!
Yes Lieke what a power this will bring, and a true power at that! Not the one where we have to wear shoulder pads or flex our intellectual muscles but by living in our essence as true women and appreciating and accepting each other as equals.
Yes It can be like that Lieke, and when I have worked in places where comparison, jealously and gossiping are the order of the day, it has been very unpleasant, but I have seen things turn around and the difference can be made by just one person. We all have this power within to make a difference in our workplace.
The dynamics of the all women team I joined late last year were pretty challenging – lots of what you have listed here Lieke,’fights, jealousy, gossiping, comparison and so on..’. When I called it out there was a resignation that this was just how women are when they work together. However, in exposing just how damaging this was being and setting in place a daily morning meeting where we simply get together and connect before the work day begins and talk about how we’re feeling, appreciate one another and ourselves, the relationships within the team have completely changed. Nothing is ever set in stone, so I have learned from this not to give up, even if a situation looks impossible to change.
That is beautiful Lucy and such a powerful sharing.I can feel from what you are saying that we often accept things as ‘just the way things are’ but with that cut ourselves short of what amazingness is possible if we dare to stick our neck out as you did. Things can truly change if you know it in your heart to be true.
Awesome experience you share, Lucy and confirming that deep down we all know how to be together and that it is something we really long for. Exposing how damaging it is to not work together and offering an opportunity to experience how it can be gives space to turn around things. Something to deeply appreciate each other for.
I used to have this too Lieke and at times still see it. We tend to be in a lot of comparison. What the blog offers by way of a living example is that as women it is ok to trust each other, to open up and truly share what is going on for us and on this basis built a very strong relationship that is without the usual dynamics thus leaving space for the power to be expressed.
Beautifully said Carolien. I can feel how much space to express power and beauty letting go of this comparison, jealousy, gossiping etc. indeed would bring. It is in the end something we have chosen to take on as women as the way we are together as women without realizing this might not be our true way to live together.
I agree Lieke we tend to take it as a fixed way of being, that this is women’s nature but in fact it is far from who we are. WE have chosen to live from our hurts instead of from our innermost love. WE can choose to change it around and will then find our true nature.
Jane & Monika. As I was reading your blog I realise there is a whole new level of appreciation for me to go to in all my relationships of this kind – so thank you. I work in a store with 9 women and 1 man. Each of my relationships or partnerships with them is different, but they all bring about wonderful things. For example, one of the ladies I work with is a naturopath/writer for our weekly newsletter, and each week we have interludes discussing the topic we want to speak about, the editing, the images we will use – it is an exquisite team effort and this is just one of the partnerships I have at work. Your writing has inspired me to really take stock of how truly blessed I am in my workplace, and whilst there will always be something to work on in each those relationships, its the valuing of what is already there, and what it to come that counts.
This is a great point Anna – appreciating what we have in our relationships whilst at the same time being willing to evolve them is a powerful way to be.
That’s gorgeous Anna. Just prior to reading your comment, I was appreciating 3 gorgeous women I work with – we are all so different and bring different qualities, and we work together really well, and like you, time to take stock of how blessed I am by them.
Anna I love what you share about appreciating what we have in our relationships already and allowing these relationships to evolve.
Hi Anne, thank you, in reading your comment back I can really feel how the appreciation allows us to go to that next level with one another. It opens us up for even more love to be shared and expressed.
I agree with you, Anna, the appreciation and the confirmation of the relationships we have with others are the foundation for the deepening of the relationship to take place. And you sure have gorgeous and powerful relationships in your life that are worth celebrating.
Absolutely Monika, so many to celebrate.
Yes, and when we open our eyes and see all that is there before us, the beauty and the opportunity in every relationship we have landed ourselves into (even the seemingly more challenging ones), we can deepen this appreciation everywhere.
Women in the media have such a responsiblity as to what they portray, and it is often young lovely women who enter the music industry for their love of music, but then sell out to the glamour, fame and fortune that it brings, burying their sweetness for this spunky, edgy, sexy, tough girl persona. These women are then the role models of our young women. And so, the Spice Girls of the 90s played a huge part in role modelling for the women who are now in their 20s and early 30s. How are those women living now, what is the state of their relationships with themselves, and others, and their health?
Mary, they become a commodity, a ‘cash cow’, a product to their Managers, but it is they that say yes to this in perhaps their naivety or in their own desire for fame and fortune. When you look at some of the music videos now of young women, they are basically porn, and so to get to this place, they would have had to have stepped away from the sweetness and delicateness that all woman have when they are young, to take on a persona, an image that is not the real them.
A great example Sandra, highlighting the irrefutable responsibility we all have to shine the way for our younger generations. Everything does matter, in showing the importance of treating ourselves with the tenderness of loving care enables the job at hand to be done with a delicate touch and ease of motion, whereby grace remains intact.
Yes Giselle, absolutely everything matters and often we do not realise the degree to which everything we do has an affect on those around us. When we stand back and consider this, responsibility comes sharp into focus.
Spot on, the disillusion with the industry and how it makes you change who you are is well known and many, once they have been famous, and achieved their ‘so called dream’ find it is such a let down. Their health suffers and they have to reasses. Those Spice Girls have all grown up to be very different women from the manufactured pop group they started out to be.
It is such a cunning game that we sell out to. To be able to give yourself completely to the music industry we have to leave ourselves and give up on our innate qualities and our sacredness as a woman. The skills we use to ‘seduce’ people to listen to the music that does doesn’t let them be or invite them to be all they are (so not grow from it) we can find later in life difficult to really appreciate for we have used them for the wrong reasons.
Each of us brings something unique and it is working together that brings appreciation of the way these qualities can work together. I love that this does not leave anyone behind. We are all capable of this kind of relationship.
I love this Amanda. That we are all unique in our expressions is a beautiful part of recognising and accepting that no-one is more or less than another. Everyone’s expression is equally valuable and to bring this understanding to our relationships at work, knocks out the separating pillar of ‘seniority equalling being better than’.
There is such an equality in these relationships and an acceptance of what the other brings from their essence. I agree ,Amanda, -we are all capable of being in this type of relationship.
I feel the key is in appreciating ourselves in full that allows us to then appreciate the other woman and therefore jealousy doesn’t get a look in.
Yes Amanda, me too. I love how we each bring something unique – I really appreciate how we complement each other and thereby achieve something much greater than if we all worked individually.
We all bring a part of the whole and can use all our skills and qualities in a way that each and every one benefits from it.
Jane and Monika, thank you. This is a very important conversation to start here about the true power of women at work. Many women pride themselves on how much they can do, even when they are unwell, and that being able to do this is somehow to be celebrated. But this now only harms women, but it harms men too, for they don’t feel they can allow themselves to surrender and feel their vulnerability when the women are ‘out manning’ them. Women are suffering terribly because of this – look at the rates of women’s health conditions…continually rising.
This is so true Sandra, I have worked with many women who ‘soldier on’ through exhaustion and extreme fatigue and only stop when they drop. I have been guilty of this too, going to work when all my body wanted to do was rest feeling bad about letting others down when the reality is the only one I am letting down is myself.
I too have been that woman in the past until I had a massive wake up call. Now I rest when I feel myself even with something coming, and I find my recovery quicker as I give myself the space to rest fully.
Yes this is very true. Many women place this expectation on themselves that they will soldier on. Then often compare with others about how much they are doing. It is inspiring when you see someone who has a balance- is productive and honouring of themselves.
Yes, there is a deep seeded belief that we are only allowed to stop when we drop.
Not only women are suffering as demonstrated by the rise in ill health conditions, men are too – we all as a society are when the women think that the only way to go about things is to out-man and out-tough the men.
It is very true, if we could appreciate the strengths we each bring, as men and women as well as between each other as women, without comparison or feeling less worthy or less capable if someone else has a natural way with something, then we would find a way to celebrate that we don’t have to do it all!!!! How great to work in a team and share what needs to be done, giving a group of perspectives that represent a group of perspectives FOR a group of perspectives 🙂 There is never one view of the world or one perspective!
Yes Gabriele and what I love about this blog is that it is more about women coming together – in a new way – to truly support each other and not to let things slide. A true commitment to each other.
I agree Lucy when we start to appreciate each others strengths, women and men alike, and deeply cherish this in each other we will be amazed how very supportive this is and that there is no need to focus on that what is not quite mastered yet or a habit that we can’t let go of, because the more we feel our power the more we can let go of these little crutches.
I agree Gabriele we need to realise that we are all connected and that no-one can be something completely different from their natural way of being without influencing the whole. We are all suffering the roles, ill ways of being on more levels then just the physical.
When women are truly supportive of one another, that support does not exclude men in my experience, in fact it allows everyone to be supportive.
Great point Sandra. We cant look at things in isolation and everything is linked. How we are living and driving ourselves has a direct impact on our health. We are all suffering, men and women, as a consequence, so it is inspiring to read blogs like this that show there is another way to work with one another.
I agree Sandra, I have been that woman that thinks she has to keep doing even when unwell. As you say there was a pride in toughing it out and pushing on through. I thought i was showing I was strong but in fact what I was really exposing was how little regard for myself I had and how little I cared. And of course, this was then the quality of being I was presenting to the world, so in my case, being a team leader, this was what I was setting as the standard for my team so even if they’d wanted to, they would have felt uncomfortable taking a day off to rest when ill. Glad to say this has changed now, so the reflection I offer my team is more self-loving and caring, so they now have the choice to choose this for themselves.
Good on you Lucy, I love how you are giving people permission to actually take care of themselves because you are taking care of yourself. It is vital managers walk the talk.
I used to always really tough it out then I had a man come along who was more honouring of himself than I was. I found this confronting and at first was a bit irritated by it as it really exposed how I was with myself as a woman. Then I came to see how gorgeous this was and what a huge support and teaching he was offering.
I can so relate to this Kristy. Being faced with a man who cares more for himself than I do has brought up so many different beliefs and ideals that I’ve been holding on to. One being that this is a weakness and that men should push on through. When I really looked at why I was having such reactions I realised I was holding onto hurts from growing up with an alcoholic male role model. It was all about me toughening up so I couldn’t feel how much it hurt to see him so lost.
Absolutely Sandra, what is so game changing about what Jane and Monika are presenting is the absolute commitment they make towards themselves, bringing their awareness to the how they are and what they are feeling BEFORE any discussions of work are considered. Hence the connection is made, the understanding is there and power of their being-ness is put before knowledge.
Yes lucindag, the committment that both Jane and Monika have to the quality of what they bring to their meetings and interactions…such a responsibility. And from there they work together. It builds trust between them and an openness to discuss anything that comes in the way of the intimacy they have with each other.
I have met many women Sandra, who are scared of taking time off work to allow their bodies to recover and heal, for fear of the judgment, not only from management but from the colleagues they work alongside. I feel it is because women in the work place have felt they had to take on the strong, macho model in order to survive and be recognised, and keep up. But how if we learned to recognise this other kind of power Monika and Jane have shown us is possible? It is far more “powerful” than forcing ourselves into a hard, inflexible unloving behaviour, for it comes from knowing the feminine power within us, which if lived nothing and no-one can destroy, and allows us to make loving choices for ourselves, regardless of outside opinions. When one or two or three or more of us claim it, then yet more will follow.
I love this sharing, when we are more in our true power as women and honouring of our vulnerability and also appreciative if all that we bring it supports men to be more tender in how they approach things too.
And men are crying out for this opportunity – they are suffering big time. How can they be vulnerable and tender if they are surrounded by women who are tough, they don’t feel they can drop their guard. Equally if women have given up and become meak and just agreeable, the men feel they have to hold things together.
Very true Sandra, it’s sad to see how women push and man up their bodies as you say, when all along every woman has so much fragility and tenderness in her (as do men). When a woman rekindles the relationship with her body and feels how delicate she innately is and lets that be, she offers a powerful and healing reflection to the world. And then when women team up and do it together — wow, look out!!
Recently for work I have spoken with over 30 women who all wanted to leave their job. Most of them were exhausted, living on sleeping tablets or had other medication and had anxiousness in their body. All of them blamed work for how they felt, because their job was very demanding and they made long days. We have bodies that can make long days and we all love working, but we can only do it if we really take good care of our bodies and respect the signals it gives us. All of the women had the same attitude: ‘I can’t let my colleagues down and if I am sick, my colleagues have to work harder if I am sick, so I have to get back to work as soon as possible’. And by doing that they let themselves down and dishonoured their body. We are each responsible for our own well-being and the choices we make to support that.
You are right, Jane we have accepted a way of being in our workplaces that is hard and dishonoring of our bodies and we find it very difficult to change it. Sitting down together and speak about it is a great start as is 1 or 2 women that do take care of themselves and are tender and caring. They can start a change by living/reflecting the natural way of working for women.
Thank you Jane & Monika. When I have felt this ‘women power’ in work situations, I have been more surprised than appreciative of how things flow and get done. These relationships do need to be appreciated and celebrated.
I don’t think I have ever felt this kind of relationship in any of my workplaces…:-( Monika and Jane are an inspiration in setting a new benchmark on how women can work together in their true power, and let’s hope it’s not too long before more women are claiming this in their own workplaces which I am sure will have a knock on effect on the men and how they work together too.
I once worked with someone who was amazing at being supportive and really bringing people together- it was very awesome to have someone like this on the team and a really huge support.
I feel we all have this ability within us to some degree Kristy, we are made to work together and when we allow ourselves to drop the competition we will find there are many around us that we can connect to and be a ‘power couple’ with.
Absolutely Carmel, I can feel how i have not fully appreciated it when i have worked with other women and it has felt very powerful, equal, flowing and harmonious, it feels great to deeply appreciate these relationships and have these as a marker for how it is possible for us as women to work together.
Yeah this makes you stop and reflect on how it can be and supports you to review what you are bringing to the current workplace.
I am beginning to now appreciate my relationships with the women at work and how supportive and powerful it is to work together, supporting each other to get jobs done, without comparison or judgement. Inspiring everyone to try new things and not be afraid of new challenges.
That is such a gift, Amita to inspire everyone “to try new things and not be afraid of new challenges.” Women build trust both in themselves and in each other if we allow them to go there and magic can happen from there.
Congratulations, Amita!
Yesterday was International Womens Day, and my colleague and I invited women at our work to an informal morning tea in honour of this and us all. It was a gorgeous opportunity to be together and to share … no-one wanted to go back to work! It was beautiful to spend time at work connecting with each other, rather than making it all about what needs to be done.
Awesome sharing, Paula, that I can relate to. Last weekend we did a women work colleagues get together for International Womens Day and it was so powerful opening up to each other and speak about whole different topics, varying from menopause, to raising daughters today and the true power of women. Working together after that felt different, more honoring and joyful.
Paula and Monika your comments show how much we long for this level of relating with each other and how we have let life get in the way of living. These kind of initiatives are very powerful in reminding us all of what it is like to be and work together as women.
True, Carolien, we have a memory of working and being together in this way in our body and long to get back to it. Once you start it keeps deepening and offering opportunities to grow.
Writing on the net that confirms how a life lived harmoniously and lovingly supports true and loving relationships, and a connection that has the power to bring forth so much productivity, naturally so…this is real news and what we need way more of in the media.
Jane and Monika, thank you for this delicious and confirming blog. Your words feel like they deliver a response to the call of women for more authentic and loving working relationships with each other rather than the competitiveness and insularity with which we have been living. They are like nectar for the bee. I love them.
I just love what you’re sharing here Monika and Jae. This is what the world has been missing while it’s been looking, looking for girl power in all the wrong places! Collaboration amongst women is so incredibly powerful when it is based on the love and commitment that you both share here — when it is not outcome-based, but about deepening the relationship itself, and sharing the glory of our relationship and connection with the world at large. That depth permeates into everything that we then do, women working together in a true way is incredibly powerful.
I love that Jane and Monika have started a discussion on the power of women working together for this reason. Whenever I get a picture of women working together typically I see it in a corporate capacity fraught with tension and blocks based on my past experiences and women treading on egg shells around each other.. The love and commitment that is brought through here is incredibly ground breaking and is blowing a gargantuan hole in the perceived insular stereotyping of women in pair or group work. Awesome!
I absolutely agree Katerina… the depth of relationship based on this kind of love and commitment permeate into everything we do, filling the foundation from which we then work with incredible power.
A powerful sharing about the deep relationships possible when we work together from our essence rather than a working relationship based on skills or talent (although these can be demonstrated in loving relationship). This is huge for women as jealousy and comparison so often creep in with these relationships and taint the beautiful connectedness which is possible.
It is not about our skills or talents, but about how much we surrender to being the delicate women we are and the movements we make from there. We cannot work in equality without enough appreciation. This is such an undervalued activity that needs to be practiced on a regular basis.
well said Monika, to appreciate the power of our delicacy and expression as a woman is the foundation for how we work and live.
It is such a blessing when you find yourself in a power couple. I feel such appreciation to have this in my life, and even though we don’t actually work together, we constantly hold each other in love, talk out any issues that might be getting in the way of our growing intimacy, and pull each other up if one of is not being their true selves. It is a constant commitment to each other with support that keeps us both evolving.
Eleanor I recently felt this for the first time when a friend came to spend a few days with me. When women come together and are committed to making their relationship about deepening their intimacy, being open and expressing truth it is incredibly powerful.
I find that the comparison and jealousy is what often gets in the way of women being able to truly to connect to each other, but when we get these out of the way and appreciate the unique qualities that each woman has to bring, then such a beautiful and supportive bond can be made.
One of the things I love about this blog is that it shows that every relationship requires work, honesty and a willingness to address what is coming up. Too often things are left unexpressed while they fester under the surface slowly but surely poisoning the potential of the relationship.
At work this is so very common Carolien. Conversations had, or not had, people arriving late for meetings as if it is normal and nothing said, and it all does poison the relationship – it erodes trust and doesn’t allow for intimacy.
It is always rewarding to express what is felt and is in the way of developing more intimacy also at work. By accepting less we allow a standard that makes it more difficult to work in for all of us, because there is no real love and nothing that support any of us can emerge from that.
absolutely Monika, and it may take some practicing as it is not in the livingness of many but if we are willing to show more of ourselves, be vulnerable and understanding with each other relationships can become very open en supportive.
I am with you, Carolien, especially also on the ‘be understanding with each other’. Even this morning I observed a woman that I was talking to, being so judgmental on herself. Of course she will be this with others too and think that others judge her. In allowing the understanding the change could start.
you raise an important point Monika, the way we are with ourselves will affect the way we are with others. We often get thought that feeling good about ourselves is not a good thing but in this light it is easy to see how important it is to love, accept and appreciate ourselves as this is how we will be with others.
Jane, I love how you say ‘we have in our gift’ as this is actually how it is, we carry this gift of knowing exactly how to be open, honest, understanding, accepting, respectful and intimate with others. We can see it in our children. So the responsibility is in (re)connecting to what we have been given from the start and expressing this in all relationships in our lives.
As teenagers my generation of women was given the message we needed to be able to stand our ground, be strong and independent. This resulted in women like myself to take on male energy, harden and use a force to try and forge our way. There were no role models of what a women in her true power looks like and how you would be able to function in male dominated work area’s in female energy. Women like you Jane and Monika are offering a true role model to the generations that follow you. Sensitivity and fragility are most definitely a strength and one that could even inspire men to return to their own true expression as well.
Thank you for sharing Monika and Jane and for setting a new standard of how we as women can relate and work together in a way that brings out our true power – a power that is fragile, wise , intimate and open.
Thank you for sharing the experience you have of truly working together with women, Jane. It feels so refreshing and much needed to see women celebrating and appreciating each other rather than competing. There is certainly an opportunity for women to work together in a way that is empowering, and in a way that makes a difference to relationships. This should be read by every woman, to understand the magic of working together, without comparison or judgement.
Absolute inspiration – but in saying that it also feels like it is the natural way for two people to be together. This is the natural way of Humanity, a time where all competition, comparison, envy or jealousy cease and the choice to be the love we are – connecting and living honesty and truth.
Beautifully highlighted, ch1956, this is our natural way of being: working and evolving effortlessly together. The force we have to use to not live this is intense and the surrender the only true way.
I too have recently and on a regular basis now worked together with two remarkable women as complete equals. The appreciation and love I feel and acknowledge at such meetings is huge – to realise that working with another or a group can be so simple and flow so beautifully is truly wonderful to experience.
Wow I have never read anything like this before. Most articles on relationships between women are scathing indictments, tell all blame fests about ‘what another woman did to me’ or stories about a woman being there for another no matter what. None of these things holds a candle to the type of relationship that is described here.
I agree Leonne. This is powerfully ground breaking stuff! It totally exposes where we are at as women and what we have accepted/chosen. I am totally blown away by what is being offered here.
I just had to share, Jane and Monika, when I look at those amazing photographs of you two absolutely amazing women, eyes sparkling with such love, I can only feel that you are quite an amazing Power Couple, and what you will produce in your projects with be world-changing in their effects. You are so inspiring, thank you.
Girl power is something to seek outside of ourselves, like the power is in girls combing their talents to work together, but its all about the ‘out there’….however true power comes from within, in our connection to ourselves, and then taking that into all our relationships…and that is what you so beautifully share here Jane and Monika.
I love how you have shared this topic, Jane and Monika, how when women can be very powerful when they work together closely on a project with a true equality, with no judgment of each other, and able to share their vulnerabilities and express honestly how they feel about things with no need for protection or holding back. When 2 or more women can work together like that, then yes, there can be such a beautiful flow, and what can come from that can be some really awesome projects. I have had a little taste of working with a small group of women, and have felt that effect when we have worked as you shared, it feels so beautiful to be involved together in that way, and much can be accomplished. Yes, I would call that true ‘girl power’.
I love the re-definition of “girl power” here! To me the former definition encapsulated a hardness, a rebellion and an anger towards men and life. This new definition encapsulates a strength and power yes, but one based on letting go, love, self acceptance, wisdom, purpose, fragility, tenderness, openness and a willingness to look at issues with self without judgment and willingness to support another in the same quality… What Jane and Monika have shared on what true intimacy means is pure gold. I love this blog.
Beautiful comment, Beverly. What I had to accept in working together with Jane for Unimed Living is being equal, whereas she is the lead and I am the PA. Jane never treated me less and always asked how I felt about things and I shared what I observed and made suggestions. Staying in my ‘role’ too tight, because certain things weren’t up to me to decide just wasn’t there and from this equalness we could grow our relationship to the powerhouse couple we are today.
The evolution that you offer each other is truly inspiring and a far cry from what so many women feel from other women.
Jane and Monika this is such an incredible article, really revolutionary for woman. The fact that you live what you are describing forms the basis of your article, which is why it’s so powerful.
So often you hear about office politics, about girls in the playground and the bitchy gossip that occurs even from a really young age. We bring young girls into a world where the media and movies and even our own way of living teaches them that its okay to gossip and compare and be jealous of others. And yet does it have to be this way? I know from experience how awful it can feel to be on the receiving end of the gossip and back handed compliments, and also how it feels to be the one doing it. Have we for far to long accepted that this is just something that women do, when in actual fact it is possible as shown in this blog for women to have powerful partnership and friendships that don’t have any of those tensions in them.
I love how we as women and girls feel it is actually not natural for us to be gossiping, comparing and be jealous. We are used to it, consider it normal, whereas in our bodies we feel the tension this causes. My body loves working with Jane also because of the stillness, expansion and big amount of joy I experience while doing it.
I agree there is a tension, a knowing that however normal it isn’t right.
It is such a shame that ‘girl power’ has been equated with having a ‘tough independence’ as it couldn’t be further from the truth. When two women come together as equals and support each other without the competition, jealousy or comparison, such an amazing relationship can be formed and so much magic can happen.
What strikes me here is that it is quite rare to see the quality of relationship between women that Monika and Jane are exampling and that it is the norm for women to work together without real trust in themselves or the other. In order to get to where Jane and Monika are at there first has to be a foundation of acceptance and trust in oneself which many women struggle to get to. What I absolutely love about what is being shared in this blog is the dynamite that this relationship is and that it is offering up something real for women to look at that exposes very starkly where we are at as a gender and in fact where we really could be if we so chose.
I love this Jane – when we can let go of our protections and simply live with ourselves in the lovely ease we had as children feels amazing. I remember feeling this way as a small child – there was no competition or jealousy. To live this way again, naturally so, as a woman as you have demonstrated here, is possible – the power of it even more magnified as it is done in the conscious awareness of how it can serve – awesome.
A fabulous joint blog, Monika and Jane… you are both without question powerful women working in partnership. You show through your sharing together just how strong connections between women can be. The harmony that results is beautiful to feel.
This is what it truly means to be working together as women: true power, true love and true intimacy. Can you imagine what the world would look like if we all make the coice to commit to this? WOOHOO!
I love working with women when there’s no competition or power struggle, but a symbiosis of respect for each other’s attribute of whatever talents we bring where we can feel each other’s power and complement each other.
Yes Gill I love this too and what Jane and Monika share here is a true testament to what it means to work together as women. To learn, inspire and evolve in our relationships from honesty and truth. Absolutely awesome.
This is a great article and testament to how powerful it is for women to work side by side in equality. Women have long looked for power outside of themselves – even the 80’s fashion gave us ‘padded shoulders’ to make us appear larger and more powerful – but true power lies within the woman, in her openness and vulnerability.
Although uncommon it feels very natural to work in such equality without comparison or dynamics or needing to live up to some kind of image of what power looks like in the work place – thank goodness those padded shoulders were just a phase and women are now connecting to their true power within.
Thank you for sharing Monika and Jane. ‘Girl power’ and the traits of a strong woman are both often associated with being ‘tough’ and hard. The other day I was sitting with a group of girls and they got into quite a passionate conversation about feminism and defending what one of them had said on Twitter which received some back-fire from a group of boys. The conversation got louder and louder until they were practically yelling, and the quality of talk had become quite forceful. Someone started hooting, ‘girl power’, and this reminds me of exactly what you’re talking about Jane and Monika; some women feel they have to be very loud and somewhat aggressive in order to get their point across and be a ‘strong woman’ or strong group of women.
I love what you share Susie because it exposed the game we play so perfectly. There is no power in being ‘tough’ or attacking another, in fact this shows how scared and hurt we are. It is clear that aggression is always a cover for sadness. The power that is felt when women work together from a foundation of love in the way Jane describes here is unshakeable.
Hmm agree Susan, this winning via heated debate and just using the phrase ‘Girl Power’ was indeed used to ‘justify’ and also to hide behind, even as an excuse for others to accept in a kind of defeat. Being on the receiving end of such attitude and most notably for a guy, such a battle was (and is) unappealing and off-putting and where many such ‘independent and self-assured’ aka ‘Girl Power’ women moved further into hardness and drive or became ‘ice-queens’ in the office to in fact polarise other women and men. This is not Girl Power. This is actually abuse. It is an abuse of the woman herself, in the naturalness of her own harmony, and also of others through control or manipulation to win or make a point to validate one’s sense of worth. There is nothing to prove when there is true worth held.
Absolutely Susan. In a way saying ‘girl power’ gives women the excuse to be loud and aggressive; in the same way feminism can go too far and women can become quite derogatory towards men, but have an excuse to do so because they’re ‘fighting for equality’.
I gave a workshop a couple of weeks ago and there were 3 women supporting each other in such an honoring way. I could really feel the beauty, power and strength of their building relationship and how this supported each of them to go deeper with their honesty and intimacy with each other. When I shared it with Jane I said to her: that was true woman (or girl) power. That’s when I realized how different and ‘wrong’ we have been using the phrase ‘girl power’ and how used we are to it being used in that tough way.
Having recently become a volunteer amongst a group of 12, men and women, we as a team are building a solid, stable foundation for future projects to work alongside our community. What you share with us Monika and Jane I feel falls into the same category. We each bring our own strengths into the group but as a whole we are dynamite as to the power that is building, trust, honesty and an openness to express openly, share and appreciate with joy as we realise the enormity of what is actually unfolding before our very eyes. In your words “The truth that working together brings a symbiosis that is much needed in our working environment”. Thank you Monika and Jane for this inspired sharing. To not hold back and to go out there and work with others and what can be achieved is just amazing.
Marion, this is true, working together in couples or groups brings huge power, as together when each person brings their piece to the mix we are unstoppable and there is such an amazing in knowing and understanding we do not have to do it all, we each have a part and all those part together make one very potent stew! We are so much more than our individual parts and it’s such a joy to work and be part of a couple or group where it’s all about everyone being willing to work together in harmony and bringing all we are to everything we do.
Beautiful and powerful comment Marion and I so agree with: “We each bring our own strengths into the group but as a whole we are dynamite as to the power that is building, trust, honesty and an openness to express openly, share and appreciate with joy as we realise the enormity of what is actually unfolding before our very eyes.” This is exactly how brotherhood works. And it feels to me we all carry a memory inside of us of this way of being and working together that gets awakened when we allow ourselves to just be ourselves and express from there.
I love this Monika and Jane. You are so obviously a power couple and work amazingly well together. What an inspiration you both are…
To share a working relationship as you do, Jane and Monika, shows your level of care and commitment to each other and the Project you are working on at the time. How great to work in a situation with other women where each person is able to express what is happening for them on the day and know it will be respected and talked through in such a loving way and support given . To be able to call out a situation if need be with again love and respect. This is certainly the way forward for all of us working with others men and women, in whatever capacity this may be, including volunteer, unpaid work or support of any kind. Thank you both.
There have been many women in my life with whom I have shared a power-relationship with, and one in particular who I never imagined it would be possible, but here we are with an ever increasing love and respect for eachother that has taken both of us by surprise and it is incredible to work with her.
Beautiful Jane, I recently had the pleasure of working with two very amazing women, we worked with complete equal-ness, we all had different roles but none were held as less, the way we worked together flowed, was supportive of each other and was fun. We easily and without any delay completed the work and there was no jealousy, comparison or complication involved, for me I had never worked in this way, and it has shown me what is possible and a true way of women working together.
This is such an inspiring article as it clearly demonstrates what is possible when women come together in a work environment, leaving all personal agendas aside for the greater purpose. I have worked in a male dominated industry for a long time, but recently I too “have come to understand the power of women working together. The relationship is a constant reminder of who we truly are, who the other is in truth, and how we as women can be together and support each other”. Until recently I never realised the depth of intimacy, power and support that is possible in women’s relationships and this I finally am learning to embrace.
I found this interesting to read because as I came to the part about the qualities that make up a power couple I felt myself start to shut down. But shutting down and going into ‘I don’t have that’ comparison mode it prevents any type of appreciation for the working relationships I do have. Comparison wastes time that can be spent building and strengthening relationships. From observation power couples only grow from appreciation and the acceptance of their imperfections and expressing both of these qualities, individually and as a couple. Thank you Jane and Monika.
Very honest of you Leigh here, and the fact that you saw and felt it in another means that you already have it within you, with a call to re-ignite this. How beautifully confirming. And what a great reflection. Over the past few years the more i focused on myself, and what i offer independent of anything or anyone, i started to feel my power, and in this grew in confidence to then see and truly appreciate it in another. And then as Susan said, that somewhat bleakness cleared towards a sunnier skies.
Comparison holds us back from getting know who we truly are.
Great comment, Leigh and I agree appreciation and acceptance are vitally important ingredients in deepening and growing any relationship as is honesty. The depth of what is possible is beyond limits when we express this and ‘cruising’ is not an option. It is great to get clear on where we have comparison so we can make different choices.
This is great Monika and Jane, I can feel the power you present to us, and can see there is a true beauty in working together, not holding back and knowing each other in true intimacy.
A power couple, or group power benefits from the different strengths that each person brings and the commitment to working together. This can be two women, a man and a woman, two men or a group of people. This is best exemplified in raising children where each person has their role be it mothers, fathers, grandparents, child carer or siblings. Even a single parent raising a child there is a power couple with the child and parent learning from each other and appreciating the strengths of each other.
I very much remember the late 1980’s and 90’s of power dressing and power women, and how competitive it was with both men and women. While it is not quite the same now as equality is beginning to emerge in the workplace for women, it was great to read your blog Jane to know that toughness is no longer a necessary requirement for women and men to work together.
In fact toughness is the most important thing standing in the way of harmony. Women use toughness as a shield or protection to stop us from truly working together and by doing that also don’t inspire the men to be the tender and sensitive beings they are. With both men and women allowing themselves to be who they truly are, we get the opportunity to experience a true way of working together again. Something everybody (at work) longs for.
I love how you describe not accepting it when either of you get into comfort or start indulging in unnecessary patterns or emotions, and that you gently nudge each other to come back to your true selves. This is a sign of a true relationship which can only keep on growing, deepening and evolving. How beautiful!
Yes it’s very beautiful Eleanor. When we can let go of taking things personally and accept another’s reflections as an opportunity to discard unwanted habits and patterns, we evolve and so offer the opportunity for those around us to do the same.
True love in expression cannot but lift another up by a question, reflection or an observation. Holding back what you see and feel with the other out of comfort or fear is not true love and doesn’t give the two of you the opportunity to grow and to deepen the relationship.
It is so deeply beautiful to be in a relationship where both support the other to express all of who they naturally are… … always reminding each other lovingly to never settle for the comfort of less and always live the more they are and are capable of.
This is great blog showing that there is such a vast difference to what ‘girl power’ has commonly been viewed as and what true power there is when two women are working together from their essences.
Yes, Eleanor, what Jane and Monika have described in this great blog, is a completely different view of what true ‘girl power’ is, how unreal was the girl power that was used to describe the The Spice Girls. The difference is like ‘ chalk and cheese’, the original description referred to a group working in a completely different quality than has been presented in this blog. This true girl power has no equal that I have ever seen before.
Irrespective of gender, the conversation of how people work together, what it is, what is that people bring to work, what qualities of yourself do you bring there, what qualities of others you truly welcome and cherish, and a long etc. is badly needed because in truth, working together could easily be a blessing.
Very true what you say, Eduardo, people can work together in this way, irrespective of gender, it will be great to see more and more people working together in this way, honouring each other fully, with no judgment or comparison or competition, and able to share their vulnerabilities with no fear of judgment etc., but each bringing their abilities to the project in hand for the good of the project. The true intimacy that this way of working would bring would result in some amazing projects for the world, which sorely needs them.
This is so true Eduardo, collaboration amongst people where there is a commitment to honesty and in truly developing ourselves and the group, is an amazing way to work ad be in the world — and i would say, the only true way to work together.
It’s amazing how quickly group dynamics can be cut when just one person brings honesty to the group. It might feel uncomfortable at first but in my experience if we are consistent in our commitment to being honest, open, vulnerable, others begin to be inspired to do the same. It only takes one person in a relationship to change in order for the relationship to change.
Thats the beauty of it. It only takes one person. We always want to work on our relationships and improve them, but we are the relationships and there is no work to be done on it, just being ourselves in full in them.
‘we are the relationships…’ Love this Rachel. If we simply change the focus of our relationships to the one we have with ourselves instead of being in angst about the ones we have with others, these ones will naturally change as we do. It’s such a simple science which would transform the world overnight if we all practiced this. But as we know, the human mind loves complication so we now have an entire industry built up around trying to ‘fix’ our relationships with others.
Irrespective of gender, when people work together the dynamics is what it is (good, bad, regular, horrible, excellent). One of the true beauties of students of The Way of the Livingness working together is the realisation that learning to work together is evolutionary if when doing it so you get things done in a way that also honour the involved parties in full.
This blog is inspiring and I agree Eduardo that irrespective of gender when people work together, as shown by the Students of the Livingness for no personal gain but for the benefit of all, is so enhancing.
Having worked in this way with other students of The Way of the Livingness I am able to take this feeling into all my relationships. It has transformed the way we work as a team in my day job and we have only really just scratched the surface or what is possible. Thank you for the inspiration Jane and Monika.
Relationships are always mutual learning processes where we hold each other in love and understanding and support each other on our collective way forward. “Girl power” is the opposite it is exclusive, separating and highly competitive. “Girl power” as the name already exposes is giving women a share in a world that has provided her with a certain role, which she is not supposed to challenge.
Yeah I agree and often in this there are ideas/notions of girls going against each other. Like you have your group of ‘girlfriends’ that will back you up no matter what but its okay for you to take down/challenge other women/girls.
Wannabe for the Spice Girls is like The Woman I Am for Spacious Women. No desire to be anything they are not.
Absolutely, Eduardo, Miranda Benhayon singing ‘The woman I am’ is the perfect song for Spacious Women working together and allowing their natural qualities to be part of daily life.
There is an amazing beauty in Spacious Women working together. Unlike the Spice Girls, there is no need to go into hardness to be in their power.
I like that… Spacious Women 🙂 That’s got to be hashtag, song, catch-phrase, it’s gold 🙂
Great idea Katerina. A hashtag #spaciouswomen, though it also sounds like it could be a furniture brand!!
For me “girl power” had always this degrading notion of being powerful in an objectified way, like playing with your “physical assets” and being powerful through an instrumentalized sexuality. “Girl power” is a power in dependency and in a certain role and always in comparison with other women, being it as a group of “girls” or as individuals. Meanwhile the true power you are presenting here is the power of love, holding and nurturing that every woman has inside of her. The playfulness comes from her absoluteness and joy of being one with herself and others.
I agree Rachel. ‘Girl power’ in my experience and observation is completely false persona that women wear like a suit of armour. It’s a denial of the sacred, precious, tender, vulnerable and powerfull beings we truly are and simply plays into the ideal that in order for women to be seen as equal to men in this world they have to out-men the men. ‘Girl power’ only serves to disconnect women further from their true power.
And the ‘girl power’ you write about where women wear it like a suit or armour doesn’t truly unite. You can see and feel the comparison, the toughness and the separation that comes with it and nobody gains anything from denying the true power we as women have when we connect from our essence.
I agree Rachel. When I hear those words ‘Girl Power’ there is a part of me that cringes and I realise it is because it has been really bastardised to be the hard tough woman. But when I feel what true power is as shared here by the ladies, I can totally relate.
Yes many of us crave relationships like this where there is an absoluteness and a willingness to work together and just be there for each other, celebrating and supporting. This is innate within us yet a way we have walked away from.
I also found girl power to be a woman playing herself down. There’s this idea that you need to be fun, bubbly, care free and tough. Yet a woman in her essence doesn’t need to be any of this and there is where her authority lies. The ‘girl power’ idea often plays the wisdom of a woman down.
Care free and tough this image is so disempowering and it is still sold to us all over. As you say Kristy it is just obscuring women’s true wisdom. It is all about what role women have to play to be accepted and never about who we truly are. This is how we get disempowered and end up not knowing how to live from our authority.
Thanks for this awesome blog, it makes me think of the team of women that work at Byron Bay Mobile Massage and how we share openly with each other, no comparison, actually more an appreciation of each of our unique qualities that we bring. Some times we work together, some times alone and it doesn’t change how we are.
I have worked with one of the women now for over 5 years and just the other day I was sharing with her how great it is to have gotten to know each other so well, we are like family.
Its true Rosie, the closeness between women who truly work together, there is nothing that cannot be expressed with one another, it is as if through the connection that is built together, within that deepening relationship we give each other the opportunity and support to know ourselves and each other all the more.
We change the world by appreciating each other’s unique qualities and with lovingly sharing what is going on for us. We are family and to allow ourselves to feel that in work is a huge support.
Yes, it is a choice to allow ourselves to feel like we are part of a family. I only know this as I can admit that there have been many times in my life where I have chosen to keep my self separate. I would blame it on the other party for not inviting me in, but when I really got honest about it, I wasn’t letting them in, and I was not letting myself be with them. It had nothing to do with them. Only me.
Thank you Jane and Monika , This is beautiful to read and feel the potential we all have and where it can lead us to and our natural knowing and way of living and working together. What an inspiring blog and offer for women and the true love and power we can hold with each other.
“A power in a way where there is flow, an equalness and where things get done; where there is an intimacy in it’s true meaning:where you can share how you feel without the need to indulge, where you can be fragile and vulnerable without feeling shame or a failure,where you can express anything without feeling judged,with an open heartedness between you where there are no walls of protection.” Women truly working together is inspirational and beautiful as you both offer together.
Yes, we all have this natural potential to evolve together and bring the best out in each other. And by living that we can have so much fun and can feel such a wealth.
Hands down, this is the most powerful, real blog I have ever read. The way that you both enjoy the way each other work and support absolute love to be the foundation of your experience and relationship with one another is simply amazing. I am just about to move into a home with a female friend of mine and I have already felt the absolute beauty of what you are sharing here. It makes me 100% appreciate the relationship that I am walking into and choosing to deepen in and with. A power couple over this side of the world coming your way ! Gorgeous, so gorgeous …
Loving the appreciation here Natasha.
Hehe thanks Lucy, appreciation is the grandest thing to feel and share with people ~ it lights up my whole world when I feel the power of a blog and then get to share it !
About 10 days ago Natasha, I had a friend shift in to share for a few months and after just a short time the feeling of sharing honestly, of working together and sharing space has been amazing. It is allowing for heaps of processing and the experience of observing without judgement. The flow between two or more women working in this way allows for amazing expansion and honesty in living. Thank you Monika and Jane for sharing.
I feel like it’s because we are willing to go deep inside ourselves to communicate as apposed to just living and being rude to those around us as a form of feeling tension and reacting with short outbursts or disregarding little statements😍 the beautiful power of surrending, going deeper in our body and living / relating from that place ~ so glorious
This is truly beautiful what your sharing here too ch1956, it seems like relating in this way is possible for all, everybody, people just have to choose to not get caught up in the ugly feelings and understand what the other is going through. If two people are willing to continue to talk about what’s going on then true magic can happen 🙂
I love the appreciation that speaks from your comment, Natasha and the commitment you have to building and deepening your relationship is very inspiring. Heyhey to another power couple. Love to hear or read how you are going together.
Haha Thank you Monika, I’ll keep you updated with how it’s all going ! True beauty and divinity is at play already 🌟
Totally agree Natasha! this blog was awesome!
Just like you and I Harry !
There’s nothing else like it, and as you say it’s just beneath the surface, we just have to choose it !
What a gorgeous blog, Jane and Monika – there is so much we as women can do together and we know and feel this, which is why I feel we can often be uncomfortable when we are in competition / comparison with each other as women; we can do this often yet underneath that we understand and know there is an innate way we can work and be together as women equally the power relationships you speak of. It’s such a joy to read this and hear how you’ve built and developed that with each other and in doing so you inspire all of us to look, see and build this in our own lives. We are all powerhouses, even more so when we work together.
“We are all powerhouses, even more so when we work together.” Love that monicag2, and what a difference women can make to the world, when more and more women learn to work together in this beautiful way, with no competition or comparison of each other, with no judgment, and able to share their vulnerabilities with each other with no fear of any of these factors. What changes will we be able to bring about for the good of the world? There will be no limit to the possibilities. Woo, hoo!
Yes we need more articles like this so that we can learn another way to be with each other and support each other.
Women really are pitched to be at odds with each other or in comparison with each other. I have to be honest and say there are many times where I feel threatened by other women or where I find it difficult to work with them. This is something I still struggle with daily. If someone else is doing well then I think I mustn’t be good enough, I am still learning how to fully celebrate someone else in their success and not use it as a way to tear myself down for not doing what they are.
This is a really honest sharing MW and something I think many women can relate to.
Hi Jane, this is great, being real honest and expressing how we feel ! The absolute antidote to loveless working environments that bring tension and disharmony. I understand how difficult this can be at times, but I also know the more that it is practised the better the relationships are inside work.
True Monica, there is so much we as women can do together if we allow the connection and communicate about what is going on in our lives. Intimacy, meaning sharing what you feel, is the way forward and brings more quality to our work relationships and thus to the work.
Monika yes, this is just it and reminds me of something a dear friend shared once that as women it’s about how we feel in us as we do something which affects how we do, so the quality of how we are with us is paramount; and when I take time to build those loving connections with me and those around, naturally my relationships work and others blossom.
Yes monicag2, the whole is definitely so much grander and more powerful than the sum of the parts. Together we are truly amazing.
Yes Debra, we are and the beautiful thing about being part of a whole is we learn that each brings a part, we do not each have to do it all, and there is no need for perfection, there is a joy and a grace to life in how we are and how we can live. It feels so much simpler, I can celebrate what another brings to the whole while confirming my part, and it’s even better as it shows that we are designed to work together, we’re not meant to strive it alone. So yes ‘together we are amazing’.
A brilliant article Jane on what it means to work together with care, intimacy and honesty. Most of my working life has been with women and I have loved every relationship dearly, as there has always been a point of learning. My current role is as a manager and working with a team of staff but even though I am in charge I feel that all members of my team bring a different flavour and authority themselves. Everyone works together and the team juts flows its a beautiful team to be apart of. I love working with women and in team environments its an absolute delight.
It is gorgeous to read of women not suffering in the comparison of feeling less than another but embracing the beauty of what each can bring and offer the team as a whole. I can imagine it being an absolute delight to work in such an environment when these kind of relationships lie at the core of the business.