Inspirations and Reflections: Learning From Each Other

I recently went to visit my hairdresser. No big deal I hear you say and normally I would agree. I have quite short hair and was just going for a regular haircut – or so I thought!

My hairdresser took a lot of time checking out how the last cut had turned out; what had worked and what hadn’t. She made the comment that it was very important to her that she understood the hair that she was cutting. She said that she had to take her time to learn to ‘speak’ to my hair so that she understood the best way to cut it so as to create the style we had agreed upon.

I suggested that there was another way to look at it; that if she was prepared to let my hair guide her hands so that she knew what, where and how much to cut, she would have all the support she needed and the end result would be amazing.

This was a spontaneous comment but somehow I knew that she would understand what I was saying. She paused for a moment and it was like a light bulb came on. She said ‘you’re right, all I have to do is trust that if I let your hair take the lead, it will guide me; not the other way around’. With that she set to work.

That was my first learning point: that listening to the input from others, being flexible and not trying to control situations actually opens up the space to take in new information and learning and furthermore, that equality and a sense of partnership in activity can flourish.

At one point she asked if I would mind if she took a break to attend to someone else with something very straight forward as she said that she wanted to really focus on what she was doing with my haircut and there were quite a few distractions happening at the time with staff coming up to her (as the salon owner) and asking questions etc. I was happy to wait as I really appreciated that she was taking so much care with the cut.

That became lesson number two: just focus on staying present with myself in whatever is happening in the moment and, if necessary, ask for more time rather than rush things.

The hairdresser was offering loving care and attention to detail which left time feeling irrelevant, despite the busyness of everyone’s day. What a great reminder to me as someone who can get caught in the stress of trying to complete my ‘to do’ list within a certain time frame. In these situations connection with myself is lost and low-grade anxiety takes over. I thought about how often I had pushed on through tasks for fear of offending another person or because I thought they would think I was a failure for not keeping up to a certain rate. It goes without saying that the quality of the end product is greatly affected by what I choose to do under such circumstances.

As she came back to me she commented on how the hair on each side of a person’s head often grew in quite different ways and that there was commonly a marked difference in hair thickness from one side of the head to the other. This was certainly true in my case with the hair on the right hand side being much thicker than the left hand side. I had always just accepted this as ‘the way it is’. She then spoke about how a person’s hair reflects their life story. She said that she can usually tell if there has been trauma etc. because the hair on one side of the head would show the impact. I was really intrigued by this and she went on to give an example of what she meant. She spoke about a client who had hair that was in quite poor condition on one side of her head compared to the other. It turned out that this woman had suffered a significant injury to that side of the head and body years earlier and the state of her hair on that side was a reflection of unresolved trauma she had experienced. I do realise that others with medical knowledge may be able to explain this situation from a conventional medicine perspective. I also realise that hairdressers reading this blog might have their own theories as to what goes on in such situations. However, this conversation gifted me with reflection number three:

I had never given any real consideration to how my hair grows, but this conversation got me pondering on how all the different parts of the body are always communicating with us – not just the ones that we are used to thinking of. 

Next came awakening number four as my curiosity had been raised as to what personal narrative my own hair might be reflecting and which I had up to that point been quite ignorant about. I knew there was nothing in my current life that would account for any differences on a physical level, so what if my hair being thinner on one side was reflecting something energetically rather than just physically? After all, Einstein proved long ago that everything is made up of energy and Serge Benhayon expanded on this by adding that therefore everything is because of energy.

Perhaps the ‘trauma’ was related to how I had been living as a woman for years rather than a specific event?

This was a real ‘squirm in my seat’ moment because in reality I have lived the vast majority of my life in what is viewed energetically as a male way, or in other words, a hard, busy and driven kind of way, thinking that if I wasn’t seen as tough I would be viewed as weak and therefore vulnerable to being hurt. The impact of these behavioural patterns and the associated beliefs and ideals would have perpetrated enormous trauma on my body, especially as they had been repeated regularly over a long period of time.

This reality check showed me that how I live and care for myself, especially as a woman, was being constantly tallied and calibrated within my body and was demonstrating exactly the type of energy I have been choosing in my life.

Furthermore, the quality of every interaction is dependent on my level of openness and my intentions in the encounter. This woman took exquisite care of my hair and it was no surprise that the haircut was without doubt the best I had ever had. I felt that we had both received a mutual blessing from each other that day. For me it was taking the time to really connect with this woman with openness and finding our conversations then taking unexpected but delightful twists and turns along the way. I felt listened to when I spoke yet I could have quite easily missed all of this had I followed my initial desire to not say much so that she would do the job as quickly as possible. I was shown that I do deserve to be treated with gentleness, tenderness and loving attention to detail; I have value and I am worth the care.

In fact this is what I have realised that the left hand side of my hair is telling me: that the time to gracefully surrender to my beauty as a woman with all the gentleness and delicacy that I deserve, is long overdue.

She also showed me through the way that she was prepared to let my hair guide her that flexibility and trust are vital steps to moving forward.

Lesson number five was more a confirmation of something I know but sometimes lose track of along the way, and that is that you never know where, when and who the next leading light might be to cross your path. We are all able to make a positive difference in this world in our own unique way. We have an enormous amount to offer each other and the more we get ourselves and our desires, ideals and beliefs out of the way, the clearer the pathway.

And my final lesson:

life lessons don’t have to be painful and I don’t need to get bogged down by them!

What I recognise now is that all the downs that occur along the way come with the added bonuses of opportunities for growth and service to all. How priceless and inspirational is that!

I doubt I would have seen this experience in the way I do now if it had happened ten years ago. In fact, I would have been socially polite so as not to be offensive yet irritated that I hadn’t been able to just quickly whip in and out in minimal time while still wanting to receive a fantastic haircut! Ouch!

The changes in me have been gradual over the years. Life is a feast of daily delights to experience that I would not have recognised without the generous support of Serge Benhayon and various Universal Medicine practitioners and members of the Universal Medicine Student Body.

By Helen Giles, Social Worker, Townsville, Australia

You may also enjoy:

Jane and Monika’s inspiring account of the deepening of their relationship at work and the recognition of how powerful women are together if we allow ‘curiosity and not criticism…..playfulness and joy…time to learn and to experiment.’

How a bad haircut can give us a lesson in self-love.

Join Michelle in discovering the true meaning of delicateness.

 

624 thoughts on “Inspirations and Reflections: Learning From Each Other

  1. It’s interesting how we take things for granted, that for instance our hair just grows and we accept this. My hairdresser was cutting my hair and she commented that over time she had noticed the hair on the top of my hair had become much thicker and that it was growing faster than the hair on the sides of my head. Had I noticed? No I had not, but now its been brought to my attention I can actually see and feel the difference. I was told that as we grow older our hair thins and there is less of it. I seem to be bucking the trend on this as my hair is getting thicker!

  2. Everybody we meet can offer us a lesson – through inspiration or realisation. The way we feel after an interaction is based on our reaction & how we respond, not the person and their actions. It may be difficult to truly grasp that concept and understand what it means, but as we do we begin to look at life differently, bring more responsibility in our actions & feel less like a victim.

  3. “life lessons don’t have to be painful and I don’t need to get bogged down by them!” Life lessons can be beautiful, in fact when we are open to learning from our mistakes, life becomes more magical and more filled with love then ever.

  4. Gorgeous to know every person we meet, even fleetingly is divinely constellated for our growth and expansion. It is never just ‘the bus driver’ or ‘hair dresser’ but a divinity incarnated. When we go beyond surface and feel more, we sense the true purpose of each meeting or interaction and our responsibility.

  5. There’s much more going on than we think when we visit a hairdresser, or anyone else for that matter. The quality of interaction we have has the potential to lift the hair cut to another level.

  6. I love the way relationships evolve naturally, without outcomes. Friendships deepen, people, once closed and defensive, let down their guard and open up to each other. When there’s no agenda but an allowing and acceptance, miracles occur and we relate to each other One.

  7. And the session with the hairdressers was such fun…I suggested to her what kind of look I wanted but also asked for her input and together we discovered a lot – we talked about creativity and what inspires us – she also has started to make cakes for events and we were talking about how to make that more interesting and how we can use more natural products and how it is our relationships that counts before anything, understanding each other etc.I came away with an awesome styling from this woman that lasted for several days. I feel that we brought a lot to each other and although it was quite expensive it was worth every penny.

  8. I love the relationship I have with my barber. Over the years I’ve observed how we’ve become closer. We use to have conversations about the world and our local community, now we also talk about ourselves, relationships and how we are. He tells me about about his life, health and family. In his seventies, I’ve noticed a steady transformation, now he takes more care of his health, walks every day and is watchful of what he eats.

    1. All and every relationship is a potential jewel, regardless of who the two people are or how fleeting the interaction is. All we need to do is to stay open because if we write the other person off in any way then what’s guaranteed is that we will close off all possibilities for both parties.

      1. “All and every relationship is a potential jewel,” Wise words Alexis. How we walk through life, being open to meet and connect with others is what makes so life richly rewarding.

      2. When I remind myself that there’s no one that isn’t the consciousness of God, it really supports me to stay open to everyone and the possibilities and opportunities that abound.

      3. We’re here to remind each other that we are all the same One. So that when we look at each other we see a different aspect of ourselves reflected back but fundamentally understand that is it actually us that we’re seeing. To know and understand that any differences between us are momentary and fleeting and that the qualities that we do share are everlasting.

  9. The opposite is true for me. Last time I had my hair cut, from the start I began to express how I wanted my barber to cut my hair. I have found that if I don’t do this at the start, he goes into auto-pilot and gives me what he wants – a general cut. This time and perhaps because of the authority in my voice, he worked very differently, slowly gently and more precisely. I loved the cut. It pays to be present when we sit in the barber’s chair and in our communication with them.

    1. And to listen requires that we still the mind and stop wanting to move the conversations some where that is more about us than the other person. To simply to be with another for another is as you say, to deepen and expand.

  10. Love your spontaneous comment to your hairdresser – “I suggested that there was another way to look at it; that if she was prepared to let my hair guide her hands so that she knew what, where and how much to cut, she would have all the support she needed and the end result would be amazing.” Allowing flexibility rather than a prescriptive approach is a wonderful lesson for life.

  11. I love the lessons you learned in what could have been a run of the mill hair appointment. “… just focus on staying present with myself in whatever is happening in the moment and, if necessary, ask for more time rather than rush things.” This is invaluable.

  12. Our hair can tell us exactly how we are it is like a barometer for how we are living. I went through a seemingly stressful period a few years ago and my hair started to thin and became quite fuzzy on the top. The other day I went to the hairdresser and the young girl that had never washed my hair before said I had lovely hair and I asked her why and she said it was the right thickness and volume and I could feel she was enjoying washing my hair, and then my hairdresser who has cut my hair regularly for about 2 or 3 years said that my hair had got much thicker, and felt different. To me this was confirmation of knowing that I was no longer in a stressful period and had not only come out of it but was now in a stronger place.

  13. We can look at our hair, its texture, way it feels, falls etc. in the same way that we can look at our own female body to see ‘the story of us’ that is being communicated.

  14. It is really great to listen to each other and build on each other so we can do much bigger things together than we would be able to do alone.

  15. Thank you Helen for sharing the lessons offered to you in this blog. If I cannot be flexible in what I am doing then I am not connected to self. Living with a partner and three kids, I am often interrupted yet when I am with myself, it is never a big deal. I am learning to prepare for things in plenty of time as you never know what can turn up in any moment, living in a household of five.

  16. Every time we meet someone and are open to connecting with them there is the potential for both to deepen their understanding of ourselves each other and the flow of energy.

  17. “life lessons don’t have to be painful and I don’t need to get bogged down by them!” Oh yes love love love this one. Crazy how we can create situations because we think we deserve less.

  18. When we come to the awareness that all in life has a bigger picture and if we choose to be open to receiving and learning from what this reveals or confirms to us, we will value every interaction we have for the blessing that it truly is.

  19. An inspirational reflective sharing and I love the life’s lessons along the way all in a day with your hairdresser amazing simple and so true bringing a depth to haircutting and life and appreciation of all that is on offer to us.

  20. Love the lesson points in this blog. Lesson number 5 is a powerful confirmation of how simple it is when we accept ourselves and others as equals and open to the wisdom that any situation can offer.
    i”you never know where, when and who the next leading light might be to cross your path. We are all able to make a positive difference in this world in our own unique way. We have an enormous amount to offer each other and the more we get ourselves and our desires, ideals and beliefs out of the way, the clearer the pathway”.

    1. True, we never know when this may happen, ‘ that you never know where, when and who the next leading light might be to cross your path,’ we are all equals and each have so much to offer in our own unique way.

  21. Beautiful Helen, when we see everything that happens to us as an opportunity to grow and evolve it brings a greater understanding to life.

  22. “the quality of every interaction is dependent on my level of openness and my intentions in the encounter. This woman took exquisite care of my hair and it was no surprise that the haircut was without doubt the best I had ever had.” The quality of how we are effects everything and really does depend on our energy and how life flows for us or not and hence the contentment inside we feel.

    1. We have the choice in each interaction to surrender and be all that we are with no perfection and at the same time learn and reflect on what has held us back from being open and loving to another when we all crave the same connect from inside.

  23. It is so true, life lessons don’t have to be painful just an opportunity for awareness to arise and then sometimes a different choice, movement or action to initiate.

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