by Sara Harris, Health Practitioner, Australia
Recently I have been feeling it is time… time for some new bras!! I simply feel that I deserve it! I have grown more into being me and more into myself as a woman, and have found that my breasts have changed – my breasts and I have moved on!
I never thought I would say this in my lifetime… but my breasts have actually grown! Not a huge amount, but I can certainly feel that ever since having the Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) with the EBM trained practitioners from Universal Medicine, and committing to claiming more of myself as a woman – my body, including my breasts, have taken on more of their natural shape and fullness.
So today was the day where I finally made it to a store that a friend had recommended a while ago. It is a very cute little boutique which has very carefully selected brands of the finest quality ‘intimate wear’. I had saved some money and had a specific and quite generous amount that I was going to spend… but I quickly learned that I was not going to be walking out with a few bras… that I may just have enough for one – good bras are expensive!!
I guess I had always gone for quite basic bras. You see, my breasts are quite small and nothing ever seemed to really quite fit. I never really took the time for myself to find a store like this one, which was supportive and catering for all breast sizes, and also to allow myself to be assisted by someone who knew which bras would work and which ones wouldn’t for my shape and size. I never gave this opportunity to myself because I had already discounted my breasts – like they were nothing, and like they didn’t matter. And I had devalued myself and my worth based on an idea of what I thought breasts should be, and on an idea of what I thought a woman should be also in relation to her breasts’ size and shape. This was very convenient because it allowed me to ‘stay young’, to ‘stay small’… to stay like a little girl, and this had kept me from claiming the true woman that I know so very well and deep within me. It also kept others in treating me this way.
Knowing what I know now about myself and the woman that I am today – living in a way that supports me to claim more and more of my natural fullness all the time, I can look back and see how much comfort I was living in. For example, and to describe this ‘comfort’ or even ‘convenience’, if I stayed the little girl, then I didn’t have to step up, take responsibility and be all that I am; be a woman… and I could (‘conveniently’ and ‘comfortably’ so) keep on allowing others to maintain having a certain amount of power or control over me. So it felt comfortable and safe for me to stay small, though mostly for others’ benefit – because if I were to actually claim this natural fullness of true beauty that I know deep within me, then there was a good chance that I might ruffle some feathers or shift the weight in the boat, so to speak, with this (unsettling for them) natural radiance of mine.
Now I see myself and my breasts in a completely different way. I am beginning to really feel the absolute power in my presence and the natural tenderness of being a woman. My breasts feel full and alive as I have claimed them back as being a part of me as the woman, and no longer the little girl.
Hence this bra shopping experience is one of a woman (i.e. myself) who feels her value and her worth and is now no longer afraid to emanate her gorgeous and very natural womanly ways…
And so, in this particular store and on this particular occasion, I was dealt with by a very lovely woman who was most willing to assist. I felt so looked after as she gathered bra after bra for me to try on until we first found the right size, then the right shape and then the right style. We had a lot of fun! Most of all, I was overjoyed to feel how supportive the whole experience was, and I knew this was because I had already felt that I was worth this; that I deserved every bit of it.
As soon as I put the bra on, my breasts and I knew that it was the perfect bra! Everything about it – the fit, the shape, its elegance, and the quality, was amazing. This bra just confirmed how I was already feeling in myself – full, alive and very tender and loving. I have never spent so much money on a bra, but I didn’t even think twice about it!
Now sitting here this evening, with my beautiful new bra taking its cherished place inside my drawer and shifting some of the old bras out, I’m reflecting on the awesome experience I had today and appreciating the entire process that happened for it to occur: it was an honouring of me, since it was for me… and I realised that I had just taken bra shopping to a whole other level, and celebration too!!
Women in Livingness Blog 
Embarking on a bra shopping venture with yourself as a beautiful woman inspires you to choose a bra that supports your natural beauty.
Also feeling it’s time for an update, however these days I don’t just rush into any store, grab the cheapest thing and head out again. I am worth taking the time and putting in the effort to feel what would be supportive.
It is always great to take a moment to stop and reflect on and appreciate how far we have come, ‘Knowing what I know now about myself and the woman that I am today – living in a way that supports me to claim more and more of my natural fullness all the time, I can look back and see how much comfort I was living in.’
Recently I have found the most perfect bra for me and I wasn’t even looking, I just was out there shopping for something else when I walked past this bra and was immediately drawn to the look of support and comfort it would give – I brought it without even tying it on got home and it fitted perfectly – I love shopping when you connected – you always by exactly what you need!
When my breasts are small on one level I want them to be that way as I did not want to grow up or truly be a woman with all its responsibilities to handle. This has changed and it is inspiring to live in honor to myself rather than in expectation from society.
When you truly take that moment to honour yourself in full everything is brought to you in how that honouring needs to be — the cherishing and appreciation is celebrating the process and not interfering how it flows.
Once upon a time I didn’t even own a bra – yes, this was in my adult life. Nowadays I have the most beautiful collection of expensive French bras that I love. I love the bras but what I love more is choosing the bra I feel like wearing and how gorgeous it feels to wear.
I recently went bra shopping and it was a completely different experience, actually enjoying it and taking time to find what was right for me
Awesome to feel how this bra buying trip was a confirmation of your claiming of your worth as a woman and your willingness to stand in truth despite what may come at you. With a beautiful foundation for your body as well as the foundation of a deep sense of yourself and what you bring as a woman you are truly claiming your power and reflecting it to all.
In beginning to honor ourselves, our bodies and our being as women we realise that this is a process of unfoldment is one that is always deepening, which is inspiring in many ways. With this what we need to support, nurture and care for ourselves with changes as we continue to evolve. Thank you Sara, for sharing how valuable it is to honor who we are and the deepening connection we feel, every step of the way on our journey to live more of who we truly are.
I love your claiming of your gorgeousness back, ‘ this bra shopping experience is one of a woman (i.e. myself) who feels her value and her worth and is now no longer afraid to emanate her gorgeous and very natural womanly ways…’
Utterly gorgeous Sara! Sadly not many women share the same experience as you have with bra shopping. Issues of self worth and competitiveness dominate and overshadow our own relationship with ourselves. All the while there is this amazing ness on the inside just waiting to bust out!
These patterns of staying small and giving our power away have many layers and can be quite insidious, I was just reflecting on a situation in my life where I had allowed this to happen, ‘keep on allowing others to maintain having a certain amount of power or control over me.’
You have given us something to ponder about the connection between not appreciating our breasts and staying ‘small’ or feeling like the ‘little girl’. Learning to value and love my breasts through Esoteric Breast Massage has certainly been part of my coming of age as a woman, even if it is 40 years later!
The focus of our breasts is mostly either sexual, about breast feeding or in relation to breast cancer. There is a whole lot more to breasts that these 3 things and we miss out on it all when we don’t appreciate them.
Stopping to appreciate and nurturing this part of our body it pivotal in our wellbeing.
I recently invested some money in myself and one of the things on my list that I knew would support me was a new bra. I had brought some new inexpensive bras recently which we were not a perfectly snug fit and I felt that I was worth more than this. I had some money and decided to take myself to a gorgeous boutique to find my new bra and it felt amazing to be supported by staff who went by what they felt would best support me and together we found a delicate set of beautiful underwear which I absolutely love putting on.
The right bra can be found at the right place when we are willing to truly feel the depth of preciousness and sacredness that we hold and nurture in our bodies.
I love buying clothes when I am feeling good about myself, when I just know who I am and feel amazing and I go in this energy shopping I buy all the right things, items that confirm my beauty as a women.
On the other hand if I go shopping when I am having a off day and not feeling all that I am, I often make the wrong purchase because it came with need rather then a confirmation.
Having the space to really take our time and feel exactly what we want from our bras, how we want them to support us and for them to be something that we cherish and not just throw on is a way I have been experimenting with. I notice we make a change and then think yeah that’s cool that works we leave as it is. To be always checking in and feeling if that still works is taking it to the next level. As we evolve and expand so to do the things we support ourselves with.
Clothes should do exactly what you’ve described and confirm us in our beauty, sense of confidence, flair and grace. Should an item of clothing that does not do this really make it’s way into our cupboard?
Beautiful to read about your bra shopping experience. When we truly value and honour ourselves we can but items of beauty that match our new feelings of self worth, rather than ‘making do’ – which was an old pattern of mine.
Thank you Sue. The ‘making do’ is an old pattern that I have not yet completely eliminated. I feel shadows of it here and there and you have inspired me to look deeper.
Thank you Sara, this was so lovely to read, particularly the way you honoured yourself by purchasing a bra that truly fitted and supported you, it is lovely when we take time to support ourselves, giving ourselves permission to spend a little more on something that is truly supportive.
Bra shopping can be a stressful experience when we feel like we don’t know what size we should be, what colour and shape will look good under clothing or if we are buying the bra to look a certain way for others rather than honour us! I love the simplicity in what you shared Sara and how the perfect bra found it’s way to you based on how you went about the shopping experience!
With shopping we seem to be particularly addicted to repeating what we had before, sticking with the same ‘trusted brand’. But what I have found is that when I get freaked out and am a bit unsure of what I am about to buy, it’s usually because I’m buying something that is helping me grow and is true. A little while after purchasing I typically reflect back and say ‘geez what was I so worried about – these are great!’. So thank you Sara for showing us all that when we embrace us, things around us just naturally change.
What if we held ourselves in a certain quality, or high regard, so that every choice we made never compromised that, but instead built it, confirmed it and developed that quality. So whether it be bra shopping, or food shopping, or choosing what to wear, all these choices were made knowing that first and foremost there was a quality that cannot be compromised.
This is a great recipe for life – whatever the ingredients we are purchasing what matters is that it contributes to the quality of the whole.
It is taking me a little while to go bra shopping but I feel I am nearly there! It is bringing up much in me to face and deal with especially in my relationship with other women… will the assistant be supportive and gentle and will she put my needs first etc? I know I will be given the assistant that will support me to evolve in whatever way that is so it is now a matter of creating a space for me to go because I am worth deepening some more love, care and attention to support me.
I was never taught when growing up how to find a bra that suited me and even less that there were different bra shapes and that some do fit the shape of your breasts and others don’t even though it is the same size! I just went to a shop and took the one that fitted best, not wanting any support of the assistants as they felt a bit rough and would pull way to hard on the straps of the bras in my experience. Later in my life I also had a lovely experience in a more delicate shop where my size was taken and we found the correct shape of bra that suited my breasts. Since then I knew which shape to look for and that helped me so much. It would be super supportive to do more education on this for (young) women so we all know this information and the importance of putting some time into getting a beautiful bra.
I agree Leike. As a young woman I remember getting my first bra which did up at the front. It was made by a company that made children’s clothes, so although it was a bra, it did not feel confirming to me that I was now growing into a young woman, but that I was still a girl who now wore a bra. And never did I feel truly supported with this transition. Its such an important time for young girls and for them to be encouraged to feel able to express how they feel about themselves and the changes they are experiencing.
Similarly I am learning to never ever hide the fullness of my expression as a woman.
This is super cool, I’ve not got any bra shopping plans, but how can I take my day to a whole new level today?
That’s so lovely Sara! I love the attention to detail you brought to this experience. Everything is everything, even when we try to brush it off as nothing (me – I do that!!), so to be able to appreciate the whole experience and understand that it has a much greater impact that we know, is pretty cool!
When we shop in the confirmation of who we are it’s a whole other experience, and I feel your joy and delight here Sara in your whole experience, one which came from an exploration of how you were and how you let go old ways that no longer served you. One of the things you mentioned ‘comfort’ resonated strongly in particular your words ‘I could (‘conveniently’ and ‘comfortably’ so) keep on allowing others to maintain having a certain amount of power or control over me’ .. I can feel how I have played this game and how it allows for the convenience of being a victim and not taking responsibility for my part … for the opening, the invite is always in us first.
I too was a little shocked at the price of a good Bra at first but it too has been one of the best purchases I have made. A great lesson in self appreciation! Thank you for reminding me Sara.
Haha, your comment made me laugh, the price of little details can be surprising, but the little details can make the biggest difference in our lives, especially if we take care of as many little details as possible.
Feeling amazing and shining, ruffling a few feathers becomes water off a ducks back. It becomes normal and accepted as my awareness increases observing the reactions and the games people play.
Beautiful sharing Sara. Much to celebrate. I can relate where I bought an expensive jacket. It felt amazing in store i.e. it equaled the amazingness I felt inside. I then went into doubt about paying a lot of money for it and when not long later I was watching my funds. I kept it because it kept me super warm. It has had so much use and pays for itself everytime I wear it honouring how awesome I feel. Sometimes it is worth paying for a glorious feeling garment.
Finding the right bras which fit our own particular size and shape is super important. When I went bra shopping recently, I could have felt despondent by all of the bra’s that didn’t fit as some of them looked quite ridiculous on but I knew what I wanted and with the help of the shop assistant found just the one.
What an honouring, what a celebration! Thank you Sara for sharing.
I did this a few years ago and it was really wonderful, I haven’t invested in a new set for a year or so and are inspired to support myself and my breasts once more.
Yes this is shopping in a whole new level. This blog demonstrates that every choice a woman makes has an impact on her breasts and her whole body.
I can relate very much to what you are saying here about the playing small to not ‘rock the boat’ and that it is really a denial of myself and my responsibility to bring my awesome presence to the world. It therefore feels super important to move, dress and support myself in as many ways as possible to bring my fullness to every moment and every situation.
We play it small because we are not always so comfortable with the responsibility that comes with playing it BIG.
Buying clothes in honour of who we are as women takes shopping to a whole new level. I’ve been wearing trousers that are now too big for me – time for a clear out and celebrate my new size with some new ones.
Love this sueq2012 – every part of life is reflecting back to us to show us the way to who we truly are.
For me bra shopping was usually more about practicality and comfort as I had very large breasts and always saw them as cumbersome and in some ways a nuisance. Now my breasts have changed quite a lot over the years and my relationship has also changed to the point that I actually really love them, I love the shape, delicateness and warmth of them and I really enjoy finding bra’s that confirm my loveliness and celebrate who I am and being able to value myself so much more is truly a blessing.
It is amazing how common it is for people to devalue themselves based on not fitting a picture of what they think they should look like in some form or another. How gorgeous that you have addressed and healed these ill beliefs and thus come to a place where you are able to appreciate yourself and your body, and can now honour and celebrate yourself in this way.
Yes going bra shopping has never been a favourite past time of mine. I was always not knowing what sort to buy or what felt right. Until I found one that I actually really love and have been wearing for years now.
“My breasts feel full and alive as I have claimed them back as being a part of me as the woman, and no longer the little girl.” I too shared your experience of believing that my small breasts made me less of a woman. In having Esoteric Breast Massage sessions I have rediscovered the beauty and depth of myself as a woman and grown up from the little girl that was holding me back.
Wow Sara, I can feel the empowerment jump off the page. I really love your statement “is one of a woman (i.e. myself) who feels her value and her worth and is now no longer afraid to emanate her gorgeous and very natural womanly ways…” how deeply wonderful to read about your experience and how claimed you now feel from the inside out.
What a beautiful sharing Sara on how we can indeed love and embrace the process of shopping for a bra for ourselves, instead of it being an experience where we feel shame, self loathing or a reason to beat up on ourselves. Instead one that is really loving, appreciative and confirming of oneself.
Isn’t it amazing how as women we can judge ourselves and place a value on our worth according to the size of our breasts?
Beautiful to feel the honouring and celebration of yourself as a woman Sara and I love how you say that you and your breasts could feel when you found the perfect one. I feel inspired to devote some time to exploring what truly supports me with regard to my underwear as despite committing to investing time and money in my recent bra purchases there is definitely still more to reveal.
In the process of re-claiming what it is to be a woman, my breasts have also grown. It is not so much the bra size difference, but the enamation of fullness that is felt from within and is now being expressed by the outward appearance. I dress differently now from this experience and clock how sometimes when I dress in my power, I am being asked to change to something more girly and less womanly, which is a great reflection of how the responsibility of growing up brings about reaction from others. Although I also remind myself that no matter how grown up we are, sweetness is a lovely quality to carry always. One important point I realise also is whatever we put on our bodies such as clothing, hair and makeup etc. is only true when we truly feel the impulse within first like your experience Sara, and then we honor it by answering this call in our physical appearance.
Lately I have been waking up and pushing away the tendency to just wear what comes to mind instead I ask myself if I am amazing – which I am then what would I wear to celebrate that amazingness and bring that to the world – this takes getting ready in the morning to a whole new level.
What you share seems to apply to any new purchase I make Sara. What comes up for me first is the price – I am worth it? and then there is a ‘shock of the new’ where offering myself something much more supportive and expansive than before, can seem alien or foreign at first. It makes me realise, how I can choose the same old thing again and again, as in essence, it is a comfort thing, but then complain that ‘things don’t change’ in my life. Your words inspire me to see the bigger step I am taking and know that through any awkwardness that may come, to remember the loving intention the purchase came from.
What a lovely day you had Sara. I cannot say I have ever experienced this; sad but true, but nevertheless I will try again as I am inspired by the joy in your blog.
I know for me it has been many years since I have been bra shopping, in fact reading this blog has made me want to go out shopping. I can feel that not updating my bras is quite a reflection for me, that I am allowing bras that have been with me to ‘just be ok’, even though the elastic has lost its true hold and same with the straps. I feel very inspired to go out and buy new ones.
It sounds like a fairy tale bra story but for me bra shopping doesn’t usually work out like you have described. Bras will look good and fit well and I will love them in the shop, they are expensive but then there is a multitude of things that seem to go wrong after I have taken the price tag off and am wearing them properly for the first time. I can have reactions to certain fabrics and textures but I am not sure exactly what it is that is setting me skin off so I am always unsure when purchasing. One of the other common occurrences is that the bra doesn’t look good under my t-shirt, the lines or the lace that look beautiful when I am not wearing a t-shirt come up like bumps and unflattering. Lastly, the straps either lose themselves needing constant adjustment, or it looks bad with a singlet or low cut top.
I am not trying to be a downer as I honestly do find bra shopping is really fun and if I was cashed up I would just buy thousands, for its almost like you need a different bra for every outfit but when you only have a budget for one or two, it can feel like a pressure to meet all the requirements in one hit but slowly slowly I am finding what works and what doesn’t on me and the other day I realised that I may have had a successful bra shop, came home with 2 and I’m still loving them so fare.
I can absolutely relate Sara to how the clothes that we wear can be full of a feeling we have about life. We might not have picked it but they have been selected and preferred by us because they help us to hide, obscure and cover up. It can be uncomfortable to realise but brilliantly freeing too, to buy something new that fits, promotes and show off you. The key it seems is the relationship we have with ourselves, then what we wear will naturally communicate this to the whole world.
So beautiful to celebrate your breast in this way, Sara, and appreciate them in full. I am giving myself more permission to do so as well and I realised I shy away from looking at them and enjoy their gorgeous shape and reflection and its time to change that!
What a lovely sharing Sara, showing the self devotion you are building for yourself as a woman.
I must give a disclaimer that I have had a pretty bad day and so my option might slightly jaded but seriously it feels like every time a buy something beautiful and new for my bra and undies draw it becomes old hat so quickly, it feels like it only is good while it feels new and then its shoved in my draw in a hurry with the rest of my stuff. When I read blogs where other women have so much regard for themselves and their stuff, I feel a mix of feelings, I feel inspired and I feel down on myself, for feeling like I am always failing at being a real woman and feeling like no matter how hard i try I’ll never change, dark I know but I did warn you.
There is more going on to choosing the perfect bra then simply finding the bra. It is a process of peeling off the false layers we have allowed to impose on us as women and dissolving the thickness of the veils we carry over our breasts so that the light of true nurturing we all hold deep within is able to emanate outward unimpeded. The joy in your words Sara shows us the truth of this.
I delighted in your delight as I read this sharing Sara Harris! I felt like we were both on a discovery tour of forgotten treasure that lies deep with every woman (and man). To delight in ourselves is our normal and we have moved so far from this. Super read, thank you!
Lovely blog and what a beautiful celebration of you as a woman Sara. It has inspired me to make a date with myself to shop for a new bra in celebration of me. Thank you.
It is beautiful to feel the celebration of you being lived so joyfully. It is also inspiring to feel how the more we claim who we are in essence, the more we embody our Soulfulness through which this quality then radiates through our bodies returning us to our true body shape. Thank you Sara for sharing how it through the seemingly ‘little things’, such a buying a bra, that we can embrace our greatness and magnify this through our lives.
Such a beautiful and confirming blog Sara, today I decided to get a bra but had very little time to try different ones on. Instead of rushing through the experience and buying a bra in a hurry, I decided to wait until I had adequate time to enjoy trying on many different styles and to feel the joy when I made this choice to honour and deeply respect myself.
I can very much relate to Sara’s sharing especially staying in the comfort so I don’t have to step up. The tension I feel sometimes can feel overwhelming knowing the behaviour and games that I am playing to stay small but it is me choosing this way of being. I do ruffle a few feathers from time to time and reading this blog is a confirmation that this is something that can happen as I evolve and claim more of the woman within.
Imagine if we approached all shopping this way – does it support me to move forward? does it support me to be everything i am and never hold that back? Then everything we owned would support us to evolve, express and commit.
Sara, this is such an amazing sharing and with so much of it I recognised some of my own experiences and habits, being less, playing the girl and not then being the stunning woman I am. I’m learning more and more to embrace this woman, but you remind me to keep staying in touch with my body and not loose sight of how it feels as our bodies naturally support us to live the fullness of who we are. And I feel some more bra shopping coming on.
Wow just how many visions and pictures do we have about our bodies and if we are honest, all of life? Whether it is saying ‘I should be like this’ ‘I don’t look quite right’ – we are continually being compared to everyone else. But you show Sara, how we actually have the opportunity to stop this process and simply return to how we feel in our body. Like the way you tried on the bras here and had fun with it all, what if we ceased paying attention to these ideas in our head and just lived based on what felt great? I feel we would all be so much kinder, and caring every day. How ironic that this pictures we have truly make us blind to Love in our life.
Good bras are expensive, but given we wear them all day, every day it is very honouring to buy our self beautiful well fitted bras that we adore wearing. I love putting on the bra of my choice every morning, appreciating and enjoying the beauty and comfort I feel wearing it.
I had a beautiful experience buying my last bra. I chose the one that felt the best to me and then at the counter the owner of the store let me know that it was her favourite. She also shared how she tries on all the styles so she knows how they feel and fit. I got to see how dedicated this woman is to looking after her customers and it was gorgeous to feel.
We may not realise it but every day we make value judgements on ourselves, on just what it is we are a ‘worth’. “Would you spend that today?” “Is that in budget?'”. Thats not to say we need all rush out to buy Ferraris or spend large amounts of money, but have we really stopped to see how deeply we are worth absolute true investment? In the end, the fees and prices that will come are really relative to care and self-regard we hold ourselves in. And if there was a big devaluation tomorrow, these figures of $100,000 would suddenly change their status, but our love our light would not. Thank you Sara for buying and supporting yourself with what you deserve.
It’s really interesting how buying bras can so easily slip our minds, and I know from experience we can end up alternating between 2 or 3 bras for many months – possibly even a year or more. If we look deeper at our relationship to buying bras and link it to how we look after ourselves as women the question could be asked – are we taking care of and honouring our bodies all the time when we make decisions, or are we just looking after what’s on the surface and can be seen by others (or not even that)?
‘if I stayed the little girl, then I didn’t have to step up, take responsibility and be all that I am; be a woman’ – This is a great point Sara. We have a responsibility as women to not belittle ourselves or our worth, and by buying bras or clothes that don’t fully support the powerhouse woman we are, we actually avoid stepping up and taking that responsibility.
Reading your words again Sara, how relentlessly we see the shape and size of our physique as the ‘be all and end all’. We rarely stop to see that this way of measuring ourselves with others and competing with ideals, is a trick to keep us away from remembering that it is the way and energy we live that brings the real fullness.
True fullness does not come from the size of our body, but the quality we hold ourselves in. Way beyond clothes or bras or tops, we have not realised till now just how the way we are with ourselves permeates and emanates and gets under our skin. For what you show with this ‘fitting’ story is the ultimate wardrobe to be dressed in is that of acceptance and true love.
“and I could (‘conveniently’ and ‘comfortably’ so) keep on allowing others to maintain having a certain amount of power or control over me.” I can really feel this in myself at the moment and feel inspired by your blog Sara to claim more of the woman I am and be all of me. I noticed today that walking feeling that, the woman I am, being very aware of my posture to let it express the confidence I am actually feeling instead of letting my body be in the smallness, shyness or cautiousness it is so used to.
It is so important to have a bra that fits well, feels delicate and looks beautiful. As it is for every piece of clothing we put on. Though bras especially do reflect a lot about the relationship we have with our breasts as a woman which makes buying them even a more delicate process.
Thank you for sharing the joy you had with your bra shopping experience and the appreciation and confirmation it allowed of yourself as a woman. I have made the commitment to invest in bras that reflect where I am now at as a woman and have so enjoyed the interactions I have had whilst shopping and the delight in wearing bras that truly support me and allow for a deeper expression of my femininity.
I can sense the fun you had by just reading your blog.
It is an amazing feeling when we buy to celebrate and support ourselves instead of the need to fill a void.
Sara- I love your honesty about how your breasts have changed shape since having esoteric breast massage and are ready to honour how you feel at a deeper level by buying new bras. I too have found this and it’s such an awesome experience to honour how I feel within and express this with the new bras I now wear.
It is such a revealing observation that when we treat ourselves a certain way, as in the little girl, then that is how we invite others to treat us as well. So when we blossom into the beautiful, delicate and powerful full woman that we naturally are then we and everyone around us feels it. The new found woman and the well fitting beautiful bra can be lived and not kept in the drawer.
I went bra shopping yesterday and I absolutely loved it. I had such a wonderful young woman helping me out and giving me advice. I loved looking in the mirror at myself and trying on different kind of bra’s. I am wearing one of them now and putting it on this morning felt very lovely and as a deep care for myself. I love being a woman.
A gorgeous sharing with us all Sara. I loved that you expressed “My breasts and I have moved on” Such an amazing feeling to really appreciate the comfort/shape of a ‘supporting’ bra that fits snuggly considering they are worn for many hours of each and every day.
I don’t have the need for a bra in this life (yet), but I can absolutely relate to what you have shared here Sara. When we find the world around us too hard or untrue it is like we can stay stuck as adult-child, holding back from maturing as we naturally would. It seems like the perceptions we have about aging and the nature of youth lead us to see ‘growing up’ as a shame or something unfortunate we have to do, instead of embodying the full beauty of who we are and claiming the responsibility that this brings.
Thank you for sharing Sara. It’s a very nurturing experience to have a bra fitted by a specialist fitter. I know how different and honouring it’s felt for me to have bras fitted properly.
Sara thank you for sharing your experience with bra shopping. .I have had an experience like yours not too log ago and at first I couldn’t believe how expensive Bras have become, but I have to agree that the quality and comfort is lovely.
A serious commitment to finding the bra equivalent of the Cinderella shoe is indeed one of the most honouring and rewarding investments you can make as a woman. It’s a lovely, confirming experience and well worth the time taken, particularly when you can enlist support from a specialist fitter. Every woman deserves this experience as it enables you to appreciate your uniqueness, that it’s not just about breast size, but about shape and fitting too. To adorn our breasts by enhousing them in something beautiful that also fits and supports is a true gesture in cherishing ourselves as women and accepting our own unique essence.
I also went bra shopping the other day which I had not done for quite a while and I loved it. My breasts had changed, I had a whole new size and while I was in the dressing room, I could feel how much I have changed within myself. I was enjoying myself in the mirror and when the shop assistant turned on another light in the dressing room I was like: yes, more light, bring it on!
It is incredible how we can find the right bra when we place it on with a fuller acceptance of ourselves. There is now judgement, not doubt and the decision is made instantly.
A beautiful blog. I know how finding the bra that fits just right and feels just right can take some time and how important it is not to rush this but to really honour our breasts as best we can. Accepting that the right bra might cost more than we we would normally pay is also big for a lot of women. I have recently invested in several pairs of panties that match my bras, this feels lovely too, as if it completes my nurturing of the most intimate parts of my body and creates a firm yet delicate, foundation for the rest of my chosen clothes. Starting my day and finishing my day like this is another reminder of the beauty, order and harmony that is ours for the choosing.
It is gorgeous to read of you claiming the woman you are and honouring this is such a simple yet powerful way. I can’t imagine there are many who do this to this level, instead resigning to a quick and easy replacement in their busy schedules, yet it is clear from your article how deeply supportive and nurturing this was for you and such a beautiful act of well deserved self adoration.
Samantha I love how you have shared that this is an act of well deserved self adoration. These words are so powerful and now hold a special written note space on my dressing table. A great reminder of this in all of us.
Love this too Samantha ‘a beautiful act of well deserved adoration’ ~ this is exactly what it was.
It was really interesting what you raised about small breasts and I could relate to having felt similar things about them. Because my breasts are small, I felt they did not get in the way of things I wanted to do, attract unwanted attention or need a lot of support, but this lead me to treat them like they were irrelevant or like they didn’t really count as real breasts. I didn’t feel that I wanted to stay a young girl but subconsciously I didn’t want to be a woman at all. I certainly didn’t want to stand out or be seen as powerful woman!
“my breasts and I have moved on!” What a beautiful way of putting it!! It is fascinating how what is normal clothing wise one day ceases to be and you feel that you simply deserves better and you need clothing to support and confirm where you are.
Great point to be reminded of Eduardo. What is fine one day, in all aspects of life, can be totally disregarding the next the next. As we become more loving and more caring for ourselves, the markers in our body change…
Thank you for a beautiful sharing and celebration of you Sara. How gorgeous to honour yourself in the purchasing of beautiful underwear to reflect the beauty you know within.
This is a great point about ‘comfort’ Sarah, that ‘if I stayed the little girl, then I didn’t have to step up, take responsibility and be all that I am.’ It’s true that people may react if we bring all of us in but some will also be inspired and I realize now that I cannot hold myself back for fear of reaction. I’m harming myself more doing that than any reaction could do to me.
Sarah, your blog very much resonates with me and it is so lovely that you have ‘claimed your breasts back as being a part of me as the woman, and no longer the little girl’. I realize that I was also not fully claiming my breasts and my whole chest felt impoverished because I was trying to be a boy so my mum would love me like she did my brother. It’s possible that this belief actually stunted their growth and funnily enough when I was breastfeeding they grew to a huge size and I realized I needed to care for them but it was because of the beauty of being a mother nourishing a child, not truly honouring myself as a woman.
It’s so interesting how our breasts and body take on the beliefs we have and are run by. Such a beautiful confirmation that our body is always with us, showing us how we are living and what we need to do to discard our old ways and come back into our natural balance…
I appreciate the sheer joy and delight in yourself as a woman that shines out of your blog Sara. Although I have beautiful bras that fit me in various colours, I have yet to find the perfect bra, as my breasts seem to change a lot and what is comfortable on some days does not work on others. Shopping for bras has never been my favourite pastime really, but having read your blog I am inspired to find a shop like you mention. I remember years ago being fitted by an amazingly experienced older woman in a little boutique, who eyeing up the bra I was wearing and the ones I had picked out said, ‘They do nothing for you!’ She then proceeded to fit me in a knockout bra that fitted me perfectly. It was a telling moment that made an impression because I felt she was genuinely interested in finding a bra that not only fitted but honoured my feminine beauty and brought out the woman in me – she was really on my side. Unfortunately she had left the shop when I went back there some months later.
What an awesome job and privilege to fit women with bras that honour, support, and bring out even more of our true beauty. And how special to have another woman make it so important to support us to nurture our breasts in the time she takes to fit the best bra.
It is an amazing job that the bra fitting ladies do. Most of us come to bra store with issues around our breasts, self-worth, sexiness, being a woman etc. What a minefield! Add to that most of us don’t believe that we can find a comfortable, beautiful bra. I have found some amazing bra fitters recently and they are very willing to share their experience and expertise with you. The more I learn about bra fitting the more empowered I feel and the more hopeful I am that I will be able to find s bra I will love wearing.
Beautiful point Elizabeth. When a woman feels the importance and responsibility of that job, it is such a joy for both women to experience the nurturing qualities and attention to detail that we all deserve.
I can relate to going to the next level and feeling better wearing beautiful supportive well fitting bra’s and feeling the level of care that reflects and the feeling amazing feeling of honouring my breasts and myself as a woman.
One of the reason I have recoiled from really allowing myself to shine, is that when I do it feels absolutely horrible to when you are checked at, wolf whistled from men who choose to be sleazy. This behaviour is so degrading and still so commonly accepted in fact I used to enjoy the attention the sleaze factor would bring to me in the past. It wasn’t until I began to connect to the exquisite beauty within that I began to feel and know how precious we all truly are. Sleazy energy stands out to the max when you are enjoying your own delicateness and purity. However what has assisted and encouraged me to claim the woman more and more has been to understand that I am part of all that has been created in this world and I have a choice how to deal with situations so – to the best of my ability I allow my beauty to be felt everywhere I go, and I don’t engage with anything sleazy or degrading.
What a beautiful experience Sara. I can relate to the fact that in certain areas of my life I fount it convenient to stay small, to not step up to my full responsibility so I to maintain the status quo. But as I learn to accept and cherish myself more I am unfolding a new awareness that requires me to take the next step, stop hiding and come out into the light.
Love what you have shared here Sara, it feels so confirming, reclaiming the woman you are and finding the perfect bra that reflects the true you. I can so relate to the idea of not claiming yourself as a woman and seeing yourself as a little girl as I feel this is the way I have treated myself throughout my life. Buying a bra that truly supports you feels like such a beautiful way to claim the woman within, taking the time to honour yourself with a bra that is delicate, feminine and fits. I know those times when I have taken the time to be fitted for a bra, have felt so playful, fun and confirming of the fact that I am woman worth honouring and celebrating in this way.
It is so lovely when you buy a beautiful comfortable bra. I know that I have ones that just work on me. Others that may be a little uncomfortable I now no longer wear. I too have noticed my breasts fuller from the esoteric breast massage as we come into the true women we are.
I used to dread bra shopping back when I hated being a woman but these days since I have claimed myself as a woman and are constantly developing a deeper and deeper level of stillness and connection to my delicate and fragile self I only buy bras that fit properly. When I buy shoes there is no breaking them in if they are not comfortable when I try them on I don’t buy them and I buy clothes that fit me and don’t necessarily hide my body.
Margaret I so appreciate you down to earth comments on shopping, I am with you on all points. Comfort, fit and style, no compromise and no seduction by the look of a thing, only what will celebrate the woman I am.
Sara it was great to read how you were beautifully supported by the staff when shopping for a new bra. I felt this same level of care recently where I spent over an hour with this amazing women who helped me try a number of bras until she knew I felt completely held and support by the right bra for me. The connection with this woman was amazing and together we were celebrating how supportive bars are in our lives.
This is such a great blog Sara, and deeply inspiring. I spent many years wearing bras that were admittedly comfortable, but that didn’t actually do anything for me as a woman, and I certainly didn’t feel sexy in them. Since having EBM treatments I too have found that my breasts have changed shaped, and even after having breast fed 2 children and lost quite a lot of weight, they feel fuller and more gorgeous than ever. I have learnt to really connect to my breasts in a way I never used to. I used to see them as something on my body but had no connection to me and I felt quite detached from them. But now I feel they are very much a part of me. Its gorgeous for a woman to have this connection with her body.
Thank you Sara, this has been a blessing to read this morning, as this falling back into the young girl or less competent is something I have just been doing with older women being back in my hometown. Its crazy realising it. Its being okay to ‘ruffle’ those feathers as you say, when being our gorgeous, playful, mature and responsible selves fully and gorgeously. I will take this into my day and keep feeling my body for if I cower away and be anything less.
I can relate to the comfort/convenience of wanting to stay the little girl, this is still something I sway back and forth in. Totally being the woman I am, that scares the hell out of me and I am afraid that I will be all alone if I step into this totally. I know this is not true but the fear feels so really that I cling to the little girl as to not be left all by myself.
I LOVE THIS SECTION
“For example, and to describe this ‘comfort’ or even ‘convenience’, if I stayed the little girl, then I didn’t have to step up, take responsibility and be all that I am; be a woman… and I could (‘conveniently’ and ‘comfortably’ so) keep on allowing others to maintain having a certain amount of power or control over me. So it felt comfortable and safe for me to stay small, though mostly for others’ benefit – because if I were to actually claim this natural fullness of true beauty that I know deep within me, then there was a good chance that I might ruffle some feathers or shift the weight in the boat, so to speak, with this (unsettling for them) natural radiance of mine.”
This is the second time at all a blog has brought me to tears and the other one was based on bras and I read it this morning too, thank you for sharing Sara it is already beginning to heal something deep inside me.
Sarah I totally agree with you – I relate also to the above quote, that it is so easy for me to stay small, stay the little girl, or the flighty, jovial girl – it is a check out from responsibility – the responsibility of being all of me, so that I can stay in my safe little world. For the woman I am – she is so full of power and grandness that one could not help but stop and take notice… and some feathers would be ruffled indeed! Awesome blog Sara.
Having had quite small breasts for most of my life (apart from when breastfeeding), I never felt there was much need to buy supportive bras and so went for ones that looked good, but now I can feel the importance of doing so as part of my developing relationship with my breasts, honouring them with a deeper level of care.
What struck me reading the blog was the way that our relationships with our breasts, and in fact our bodies as a whole, is a continually deepening process of discovery if we are open to nurturing and celebrating ourselves as women. The joy we each contain within ourselves is endless.
Thank your for this great blog. Reading this made me aware how my breasts changed too, in that they have become more fuller, with my claiming myself more as a woman. And although I already celebrated myself with gorgeous bras from a delicate brand, it feels time to deepen my relationship with bras now my relationship with myself and breasts has deepened. So time for some bra shopping with attention for the details of my slightly different breasts.
Thank you Sara. I had a similar experience not long ago. The absolute beauty and tenderness with which I was cared for and felt wearing such a supportive bra was like nothing I’d felt before. Because my breasts are small and I like things to be comfortable, but stylish, I’d found what I like and could afford and stuck with it. In all not a bad place to be, but when I felt the difference of going the extra mile, for me, it was incredible. I have just done the same yesterday for a pair of trainers and the ultimate support I feel, thanks to my choices and my willingness to open up is amazing.
I know exactly what you mean by going the extra mile Jenny. Since separating from my husband for a long time I thought I couldn’t afford really good quality things anymore and settled for second best, even third or fourth best sometimes and my self-care, self-esteem and self-worth steadily declined over the years without me realising just how far I dropped. But not any more, Esoteric Women’s Health presentations and modalities have helped me to re-develop self-love and it feels so amazingly supportive and loving and boosting of self-worth to buy items that feel tailor made for my comfort and style – within budget of course but without nurturing restraint.
Good point, Jenny. Often we find something that works for us and we stick with it, without honouring how we change and grow. It feels like a celebration of yourself to go the extra mile as you say, and not settle for less than what is now truly going to support you.
Such a beautiful description of a woman honouring herself at a very deep level as well as a practical example of how we as women can practice self-acceptance and appreciation. Thank you Sara!
When my breasts first started to develop I thought that it was just a matter of knowing your size and then going and buying a bra in that size and it should fit. Over the years I have worn many ill fitting bras because I hadn’t taken the time to check to see if they fitted me properly before buying. I have often been influenced by price. What a different approach you are describing Sara! I know that buying a bra in the future will be a different story, not just in terms of getting something that fits well but also in terms of the significance behind the actions, namely – a claiming of a part of my body which has long been dismissed as insignificant.
This is awesome Sara… “my body, including my breasts, have taken on more of their natural shape and fullness” – how many of us read past this sentence without really feeling the significance of it, what is REALLY going on here. How is it, that we can live lifetimes without claiming our true shape and fullness and how amazing it is that with the support of a modality such as the Esoteric Breast Massage our bodies begin to change as we claim ourselves as true women. Surely this must indicate that there is so much more to us than what is on the surface, so much more to explore and for me, the deeper I go within myself the more amazing I realise I am, and I am only scratching the surface. Going back to buying bras, I recently bought two bras which were quite expensive. I could never buy bras ‘off the peg’ because of my shape, so I was always measured, but these bras were different, the lady in the shop didn’t measure me, she just looked at me. I can honestly say that they are the most beautifully fitting, supportive bras I have ever had and well worth the investment because every penny I spend supporting me is an investment in myself on my journey back to being a true woman. Thank you for sharing Sara.
What a gorgeous way to truly celebrate ourselves – in appreciation first and foremost.
I too have been feeling lately that it is time to get some new bras – something that is very supportive rather than trying to make my breasts look a certain way.
In the past all my bras have been to get the right shape – perky but not too busty – and I had always put the comfort and fit of the bra second. But now I really am drawn to choosing the right bras that put the fit and support first! Thank you for this inspiring blog.
It was not until i had finished breast feeding my third child that i decided to go out and buy some new bra’s for myself. This felt like a giant cross roads for me, my breasts had been given over to breast feeding for many years and before that i had bought underwear that sought to impress my partner, if he was pleased so was i. It was the first time in my life I had chosen a bra wholly for me, the choice to be there marked a massive turn around in my life inspired by some Esoteric Breast Massage sessions i had received. I stepped out of this lingerie shop 10″ taller with bras that were made for me, they felt gorgeously supportive, expressive and celebratory – there is no turning back!
It wasn’t that long ago my friend was suggesting that I treat myself to some new bras and initially I just couldn’t see myself paying that much out for a bra, but just recently I did go along and had a consultant help me to select the correct bra for me and I discovered that it is more than just buying a bra, as it has changed the way I dress and the way I hold myself.
Hi Julie, I love getting my bras fitted and have been for over 10 years. I agree there is so much more to buying a bra with having a fitting. I just went this week and noticed how I go with an idea and picture in my head of what kind of bra I would like, lacy, sexy, soft and gentle to wear. With the support of my consultant I was able to make it a more real experience and I love feeling how my breasts feel in a bra when its the right fit. I bought three bras that covers everything I love in a bra and even realised I needed a smaller size. I do still find it confronting standing in front of a mirror trying on bras but in such a supportive environment I end up enjoying myself.
Gorgeous Sara!
Ideally, this is how bra shopping would be introduced to all young women and conducted amongst women of all ages – an honouring of the woman, a confirmation of how far she’s come in her claiming and living her true self and a celebration of being female!
What a gorgeous way to go and find your first bra. I didn’t have my first bras fitted as they were more the cotton starter bra but gee how I loved them, how they felt and the colours… it is a time that I always look back on fondly.
This gorgeous blog highlights how easy it is for women to discount and undervalue their breasts. I too have small breasts and I feel it may (happy to be corrected here) be easier to spend less time on bras because less breast, less validation as a woman. With a fuller breast, it actually demands more detail to bra buying because breasts can be heavy and can cause back pain, so a correct bra is important; plus one can have bras to accentuate a cleavage and her womanly-ness. But small breasts can get away with inappropriate bras without too much notice. I am taking a leaf out of your book Sara and skipping along to spend giving myself quality time to find that gorgeous bra to match my gorgeous breasts and gorgeous me.
Wonderful “This bra just confirmed how I was already feeling in myself – full, alive and very tender and loving.” I have also have had moments when I have realised that it is time for change, for example removing all the old and worn out bras from my drawer, also moving my bras to a new location in a cupboard where they are easy to see and reach, no more squashed and scrunched up. I don’t have as many as I used to, but what remains are all beautiful, comfortable and fit perfectly. I appreciate the care and support I offer myself and celebrate the woman that I am.
This is joyful to read and feel, just what shopping for a bra should be
Sara how beautiful that you have embraced your womanliness and celebrated this with a beautiful bra. I am a bigger breasted woman and bra shopping has always been expensive and often problematical – and my experience reflects where I am with myself. I recently found a beautiful lingerie shop in Eltham Victoria and the woman immediately understood what was needed and I too found the best bra I’ve ever owned. It was beautiful to be supported by someone whose joy in life is working with women to fit them in a comfortable bra. I appreciate that this experience was a reflection of where I am with myself as a woman.
Beautiful to return to read this Sara. So sweet and fun, indeed a celebration of you and all women. Having royally abused myself by giving my breasts away to a few beliefs I was holding about breast feeding, when I stopped, my breast were much smaller, empty and shrivelled up like crepe paper. For a while I couldn’t bring myself to look at them as I couldn’t accept what I’d done to myself. As I started to claim the amazing women I am, my breasts started to grow. Even as I write this I can feel my body talking to me, the fullness of them, they agree! In fact it was my eldest son (7 at the time) who noticed it and they had! Reading this I feel a bra shop coming on, in fact I’ve been feeling of late some new knickers are in order and was just going to quickly buy some but I’m reminded of a little boutique I once visited where the lady was lovely that I may just visit. I’ve been feeling how delicate, precious and sacred I am in my femaleness so this an opportunity to honour that. Thank you for the inspiration and confirmation of what it is to be a woman.
Thank you for sharing so personally Candida. Loverly to read that these blogs and this site ( Woman In Livingness) are inspiring woman to accept and love themselves and their breasts in a whole new way. Usually as woman we collude, looking at fashion mags and talking about the bodies we wish we had. Also we can bring each other down in more subtle ways, writing on Mom Circle blog sites about how important breast feeding your baby is with little regard for how that may look or feel for the woman involved. I felt to share this as your brush of a comment on break feeding struck a cord with me. I am pro breast feeding… don’t get me wrong but not at the expense of the woman. If the bottle is more supportive for any reason or winning than I am pro that, I do not have a side or a belief around this.I am pro woman. The saying as long as “Mum and bub are healthy and happy, thats all the counts” needs some adjusting. Heres my new saying
A woman is a woman first, she is simply expressing as a mother if she stays true an honours this – a joyful situation is born- as baby is met with true grace, nurtured and held in the stillness that is woman.
Sara your bra shopping experience was to me a reflection of how you came to that point of accepting you as a woman and filling your breasts with tenderness and love. The support in the shop was a reflection of how you have been supporting yourself, like having esoteric breast massages. The trying on different bras to get the right size, shape and fit was a reflection of you trying, eliminating or changing things in your life to have a deeper connection with your breasts. The bra is confirmation that you are doing an amazing job. You are an amazing woman. Thank you.
It feels like a lovely reflection of your relationship with yourself Sara, the way in which you approached the bra shopping adventure, and the way in which you honoured so many details to create an experience to take you deeper to the preciousness of yourself. The blog and comments are all so nurturing to read, to feel the way in which women connect so openly, warmly, and intimately together is truly a delight!
Yes absolutely Melinda. It’s so beautiful to read all the comments from women sharing their experiences in relation to their own breasts and the honouring relationship we can have with them. It’s like our breasts hold within a deep nurturing quality of who we truly are.
Sara, I can relate to just about every word you have shared. I am looking forward to taking myself bra shopping (possibly at the very same store ;-P) in the next couple of weeks!
I have felt to it was time for some new bras for a while. I had read a few blogs on this website and been inspired to go shopping but not quite managed to create the space. Today I found myself with an ideal opportunity and plenty of time for me to enjoy the process. I booked a slot with a very sweet sales assistant who measured me and found the right shape before getting a selection for me to try. I felt incredibly supported and found one bra set in particular that suited my size and shape beautifully. I’m looking forward to christening it tomorrow.
Sara this is gorgeous. I did the same thing recently, online I found a super cute boutique nearby so I made some time to visit it as I felt it was about time to get a bra that supported me, rather than a lot of the ones I own which are just that little bit too small, too wide, too tight etc. Not only did I discover that I was wearing 3 sizes too small, but I walked out with a beautiful new bra that feels a hundred times better than before!
I love your sharing, Sara. I have a story to tell. Through my life shopping for bras wasn’t anything special. Yes, I spent a lot of time in the shops looking for bra which will be comfortable, cotton, no wires, and find it extremely difficult to find. Most of the time if bra is comfortable it is ugly. I didn’t spend a lot of money either going for rather cheap options.
Then one day I decided to treat myself and went to a well-known lingerie shop. It was one of the most dreadful experience in my life! First of all I needed to wait for a few hours for the appointment with shop advisor. Then she brought me a few bras to try, all of them smaller than I normally buy. She helped me to put them on-and she was so rough, with cold hands, dragging my breasts up to make it look better. It was painful and I screamed. It was shocking! In this state I bought one bra out of “duty”- I couldn’t wear it even once, the unpleasantness of the experience, material, size-everything was wrong! I was really sorry about time and money I spent.
Few years later after attending numerous presentations Women in Livingness of Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams I went to Australia and was wondering in Lismore on my own. I saw the lingerie shop and went in. There was nobody there apart from the shop assistant. From the very first moment she appeared to be so friendly and warm so I decided to stay longer and look around. She was super helpful, bringing me bra after bra, making friendly suggestions and advising me on brands. I choose one beautiful bra, apricot colour and super soft and comfortable. The feeling I had when I put it on that it is hugging my breasts in the warm lovely embrace. It wasn’t cheap but I was very happy to pay this money for what feeling it provides.
I can see the difference between those two shoppings as the reflection of my state of being, acceptance of myself as a woman who deserves love and allowing to be open to receive this love, warms and loving support.
Great observation, Elena. We bring what we are to the experience and the changes in you allowed this amazing shopping for a bra trip to unfold lovingly and in a truly supportive and nurturing manner. A wonderful confirmation of your sweet and tender nature.
This is a gorgeous sharing Elena — and I think I have had the honour of seeing you in your gorgeous apricot bra and it looks and feels stunning!!
Thanks for your story Elena, a blog within a blog if I may. I really related to that part of attracted that experience was where you were at in your life at that time. Shopping needs to be felt like everything, as to when and whom and what we are shopping for. There are certain shops that I walk into and walk straight back out of as I can feel that I will not be treated with any love and the shop is not interested in true relationship. These days it seems like everywhere I go there is someone to assist me and I end up being on a first name personal basis with the shop assistants, talking very intimately by the time I leave its like saying goodbye to a friend. I had very horrible experiences when I was young and contracted though, rough and abusive interactions where I feel bullied in to purchasing something but it was due to how I was living then, everything reflected my lack of self worth back to me in order for me to heal and change.
Sara, I love your sharing! It made me remember and reflect on my very first bra. I was a little embarrassed but at the same time excited and proud to be getting my first bra. My mum and I ended up getting a supermarket bra for me (which was not as bad as it sounds – European, especially French supermarkets have stacks of amazing gear including clothes and even training bras, and most often of good quality!) – but the setting itself was not quite supportive as the changing rooms in a supermarket are not really very intimate and did not make me feel very safe. So though I liked the bra, I did not really enjoy the experience of buying it. So I love how in your blog you have shared how the experience was so supportive and safe and intimate and how you embraced the process and allowed for the money and time for just this – for you and your breasts. This is what was missing from my first bra buying experience. Since then I have been in bra shops and made some great finds, but it has been a while since my last bra shop…so perhaps it is time for me to re-imprint this with even more love and delight!
Your comment has reminded me of my first bra shopping experience which was pretty uneventful as I was living overseas and in our army shop they only had one bra for my size, so it was that or nothing.
I realised that’s how I’ve always shopped for bras something quick and easy, in and out – that will do sort of thing.
Then yesterday after the Women in Livingness group in London I went bra shopping for the first time to a boutique with an assistant, who was able to resize me and give me advice on what type of bra was suitable for my breast and body shape. This was a whole new experience for me and I will definitely go back again to replace some of my old bras as this has set a whole new marker for me.
Beautiful Henrietta! Amazing how much there is to heal with the simple act of buying a bra…it symbolises a lot for us about who we are and our worth as a woman.
I think its amazing you can remember your first bra shop Henrietta…
I am trying to, as you would think it would have been a significant moment but I have nothing coming to me as I think that I must have got hand me downs from my older sisters, not very nice really and probably blanked it out. Ha Ha. I loved hearing your little story and felt like a got a slice of your life in it. Very sweet, thanks for sharing.
I too, relate to wanting to stay small, wanting to stay in comfort- relying on others to make decisions for me, and not wanting to step up. However, this has changed thanks to the esoteric woman’s talks and esoteric breast massages I have had.
I am now starting to embrace the woman within- breasts included ,as I am learning to appreciate and lovingly nurture myself more. Thanks for an inspiring article Sara.
From staying small and being the little girl to a woman who feels her value and worth, no longer afraid to emanate her gorgeous and very natural womanly ways. Your article is an inspiration to make this choice and take those steps.
I also recently felt that it was enough with the old basic t shirt bra’s. Time for a whole new level! I bought the most beautiful sets (yes they cost but fit so much better!)and I feel better wearing these, as they reflect the level of care I take for myself and how I honour my breasts. So much fun also!
Yes I agree, it is so much fun delorme2013. It can be like having a little secret love affair with yourself when you can feel your gorgeous underwear under your clothes.
Wunderbare Sara your blog is an absolute awesome guideline for buying a perfect bra . . .
What a most delightful sharing of an intimate experience, and how lovely that you have grown to love your breasts, and in return you breasts have grown. Sara, you have taken bra shopping “to a whole new level” and in turn will have inspired many of us to throw out those old, and probably ill-fitting bras, and to head to the nearest bra stockist for some beautiful, and well fitting replacements. What a wonderful way to honour ourselves and our beautiful breasts.
Hi Sara, Great blog, yes I recognise this as a reflection of where I have been ‘staying the little girl’ not claiming the true woman. Your blog reflects the joyful experience you had of shopping when you came to living that true woman and it feels lovely to read your experience but also an education. I have found myself a bra shop and this feels like the prompt to go and find my own ‘perfect fit’. thank you.
This is so joyfully beautiful to read, Sara. Love it.
And I particularly appreciate your reflection on taking these steps for yourself, being very confirming of you being in your fullness – ‘the full you’, regardless of how others may respond.
All I can say, is Awesome and what cause to Celebrate! So gorgeously honouring of yourself, and look out for this woman who knows who she is… she may just be walking down your street 😉
Wow what a revelation about what small breasts felt like to you, I also have small breasts and relate to all you have written, but the thing that has me feeling deeply is the reason why you have small breasts. I have always wondered about what breast size could personally share with us, as the genetics thing is not the answer. I feel what you’ve shared is true for me also and I also remember feeling that I wanted to be a boy growing up, totally rejecting who I was as a young girl on my way to womanhood. Thank you Sara
Love that feeling when you find the perfect bra.
I love it when you find that boutique bra shop that loves supporting and nurturing women to find the perfect bra for them.
I agree Sara and what i’ve noticed are the times when I’ll start looking or noticing lovely bras in shops as if I’d love to purchase, and then reflect on this impulsing activity is because another level of deepening as a woman has occurred. So the bra purchasing becomes a beautiful affirmation, or as you say a celebration of this.
Beautiful Zofia, I’m aware of that too now you mention this. I hadn’t made that link but it is exactly what is happening, another level of deepening as a woman.
This is a great observation Zofia, and I shall look out for this connection next time I observe the my attention is being caught by beautiful bras in shops or shop windows.
Congratulations Sara, that was lovely to read about your whole new level! I’ve recently put off bra shopping because I know it can be tricky to find a well-fitting bra for the size and shape of my breasts and back. I know it’s not a quick shop locally but you’ve inspired me to ask friends if they’ve discovered places they find similarly helpful in the UK.
Thank you Sara, it was lovely reading your experience, and it makes such a difference to wear a bra you have lovingly bought for yourself. Very inspiring for all women to read.
That is amazing Sara and something I shall remember as I head out bra shopping today! I can totally relate to the wanting to remain small because then if I do everyone will do things for me, very comfortable – no responsibility on my part. But what I am learning through my choices to feel more of who I am below these behaviours or images of ‘me’ I hold onto is that that way of living feels and even on the outside appearance is very small – my actual body caves in and crumples when I play small! The more I have been opening up the more I have felt not only my bras but how tight and constrictive my past clothes choices have been. This makes me wonder about clothes sizes, and bra sizes, if we feel small do we try to squeeze ourselves into the smallest size possible? As if to confirm that the smaller the better(?) rather than what size of clothing will truly support us and not constrict us.
It is definitely a symptom of a lack of self – acceptance. In keeping myself small, no different to wearing ill-fitting clothes or bras, I used to wear shoes that were two – three sizes to small for me. You can imagine the damage I was doing to my feet – all in an effort to not walk in the world accepting myself as a woman, rather than as Sara has shared in her experience a little girl. It’s crazy when deep down we are so beautiful, that we would do such harm to ourselves.
Yes, it’s interesting to observe in general how we take care of ourselves as women, whether it be bra, clothes or shoe shopping, how we apply our makeup, what we choose to wear etc. and how this so often reflects our self worth and how we feel about ourselves. For me, the more I develop this care and love of myself as a woman, the more and more consistent I am finding this reflection to be.
Thank you, Sara, for this beautiful sharing. As I started feeling inspired and that I wanted to go a step further in appreciating myself as a woman, there came a thought that wanted to question and doubt my self-worth. Ha! I am not going to let that stop me.
That’s the way, Fumiyo Egashira. Having been prey to self-doubt for many many years, I know that it vanishes in a puff of smoke once I resolve to say No to it, which is really saying YES to everything that is truly who I am. The more I appreciate and confirm myself the less I experience self-doubt for it is not real – it’s like a veil put there to stop us being as amazing as we already are.
Beautifully said Sandra, “The more I appreciate and confirm myself the less I experience self-doubt for it is not real – it’s like a veil put there to stop us being as amazing as we already are.” Appreciation is the absolute antidote for self-doubt.
I could feel the absolute honouring of yourself in this blog Sara, truly beautiful. I can also feel that I haven’t always chosen this when shopping for bras. Although as I write this a memory came back of when I was in Paris and bought myself this beautiful bra and matching underwear. It was the best fitting bra I had ever found and worth every penny. Every time I wore it I felt honoured. This was some time ago now though…I would love to know where this bra shop is you mention?
‘My breasts feel full and alive as I have claimed them back as being a part of me as the woman, and no longer the little girl.’ Today these words resonated with me because I never really saw my breasts as anything other than a nuisance, or for men to leer at. Now, at 64, I can appreciate my breasts as an important part of who I am and I have fun buying supportive bras that look and feel great, and that co-ordinate with whatever colour clothes I wear as well.
I love the way you describe the whole experience and the care you choose to to pick a shop that would support your experience. Bra shopping for me has in the past been difficult and challenging but now I love the experience. This transformation has come from a new connection understanding and celebration of my body.
Thank you Sara, I am inspired to save up and go bra shopping.
Hi Sara, love the blog I’m sure its a subject most women would relate to. I too have always gone for any bra which keeps me small. I’m currently looking and have been searching online for a good bra shop and can’t find one in my area so am set to travel to one not too far away but certainly not local. I look forward to finding a bra which ‘As soon as I put the bra on, my breasts and I knew that it was the perfect bra! Everything about it – the fit, the shape, its elegance, and the quality, was amazing.’ Thanks for such an inspiration to get the right bra for me.
This was lovely to read, and good timing as well as I have been willing to see how much of the ‘little girl’ I have lived and not the true woman I know I am. Also it was lovely to read about claiming your breasts I really felt that when I read it and how it would be awesome to do as I have not yet fully done that. Thank you … and trustfully by now you have more loving bras sitting in your draw : )
Thank you for sharing Sara, bra shopping truly feels like no other kind of shopping! I know I can feel the difference as well when I go in and ask for some help – the ladies I have come across are always super knowledgeable and helpful, it makes my purchase feel supportive in more ways than one!
Your blog reminded me of a time I went bra shopping in Melbourne, I had just started buying bras with matching underpants. My self worth had deepened as before I would have never spent the money on the matching underpants as I deemed them too expensive. So I choose this delicate, gorgeous set, tried them on, looked in the mirror and saw and felt for the first time how delicate I felt in my body, then I looked at the bra and pants and could feel how the set was perfectly reflecting this and confirming back to me this quality. A huge healing happened for me that day in how I saw myself. Who would have known this was going to occur whilst bra shopping?
I hadn’t looked at the fact that I didn’t want to spend the money on matching knickers was a measure of my lack of self-worth, great reflection Mary Louise. I do now spend that money and have to agree I so enjoy the delicacy and loveliness that I see in the mirror when I wear the matching sets, it feels like a playful honouring and expression of myself and the beauty and tenderness I feel inside. I also love the sense of wearing such lovely underwear under my other clothes, it feels like a complete expression of me as a woman that day, and sexy too!
Sara your article is super inspiring and I am now feeling the urge to go bra shopping. It has led me to consider the bras that I still wear that do not completely support me and perhaps it’s time to let go of the old and head out to the shops.
Sara , this is evolutionary what you write. The delicate steps you have taken to stand were you stand now. The relationship that you have build with yourself and so your breasts is exquisiet. I love hearing how you have been bra shopping, and the fun you experienced and lovely support you had received by that lady in the shop. Thank you for taking bra shopping to another level. I can say that I am deeply inspired to go bra shopping again , I feel my breasts have leveled up:), now it is time for a new bra to go with it and support my breasts in the growth:)
Beautiful to read Sara. I can so relate to feeling like a young girl, I look a lot younger than I am and when I read about you felt like you were comfortably hiding in feeling like a young girl I felt that is what I sometimes do too. I am in the process of claiming myself as the full grown up beautiful woman I am and re-connecting with my breasts is one thing that feels very essential and I am loving to do.
Awesome Sara- thank you for sharing this new level of supporting yourself. It sounds well worth the experience, however from experience, claiming that you are worth it (and saving up) is one of the essential elements here.
Thanks for sharing Sarah, I’m looking forward to embracing myself more as a woman. A new job is around the corner, one which I will be able to take the time to support my beauty by taking more time with clothes, hair, make up and awesome bras. Thanks for the incentive.
Yesterday I bought myself a beautiful new bra. Yes it was expensive, but I have bought from the same shop for a few years now. A shop where they don’t measure you, but assess and find a bra for you as an individual. These bras do last a long time however, unlike other bras I used to buy where the elastic went very quickly or the under-wires pinged out. Honouring who I am now with my bra shopping is now a celebration of me.
A great honouring and celebration of bra shopping. I am inspired to head to the shops and do the same.
After reading your blog- I feel inspired to revisit bra shopping but this time with the knowing and inner feeling that I am worth feeling beautiful and deserve to wear a bra that honours the true woman that I am, regardless of the cost.
Yes it is a wonder-full feeling. I love bra shopping these days as I truly treat myself to honour the true woman that I am too.
I have quite large breast (which in the past were very large – i’ve lost quite a bit of weight over the years) and so bras have always been a rather important piece of clothing for me. What I’m realising now though is that they have mostly been about function, and nowhere near a confirmation of me as a woman. Sure I’ve bought one or two pretty bras but for many years I would only buy black ones so they wouldn’t get dyed by washing them with other clothes! Recently I saved up some money to go and buy myself a new bra – one that is honouring of me. It’s quite telling that although I’ve had the money for a while now, I have put off going shopping for my new bra. There are definitely some residual ‘am I worth it’ thoughts rattling around for me to have a look at. Thank you for inspiring me to go deeper with this.
I can relate to bras being only for function. Bras were always large, fully supported, underwire, over the shoulder boulder holders. The bra scenario was always a bit of a drag. I could never wear no bra or strapless tops or even thinly strapped tops as there was always a thick bra strap to cover up, and didn’t like to have bra straps showing at all as they were usually pretty daggy. I have now let go of what feels like shame of being a big breasted woman and become a little adventurous and have found a variety of bras with different style and colour straps, a strapless bra that can be worn with some things and a little more open mindedness with bras and straps. Its really lovely and gives me more freedom to express myself through what I wear.
What a lovely comment Sarah. I have been bra shopping myself recently too and it is a wonderful experience to get the right size, fit, look and of course feel. It is truly worth spending the money of a good nice lovely bra because it supports us so much within our days. Such a lovely comment, thank you.
That sure does sound like fun 🙂 that is something I am doing for myself, saving up to do some bra shopping, inspired by blogs like these – Thanks Sara!
I know the feeling. At one point I felt I deserved a ‘real’ bra, not the cheapy cheapy bras 2 for the price of one. Just like you I went to a serious Bra Shop with the most delicate embroidered bras and lovely ladies who were experts in bras ánd breasts & female bodies. I learnt so much about myself, body and breasts! I left with just one pair, very content, although I spent a fortune. Interesting enough I can feel now I need to go again. The size of my breasts is changing and I need to honour that, despite the expensive bra I have had for two years now. What a wonder that our breasts are like breathing organs who change as we change.
I too eventually (it was long over due) found a specialist bra shop that sold beautiful bras for all breast shapes and sizes. I went with a friend and we had lots of fun finding bras perfect for each of us. I discovered the perfect bra and have been buying them ever since. As well as always being on the look out for something new.
Thank you Sara. I, too, have small breasts and realise now that I have judged myself as a ‘failure’, not being the ‘Real” woman. The ‘Real” woman as presented in the magazines where women are striking particular poses, with shapely bodies and shapely breasts. That somehow the size of the breast determined the ‘Size/Quality of the woman within”. Sometimes we hold old beliefs that are hidden so far down, it is not until an honest blog like yours exposes what is really being held within the body. Thanks Sara – you have triggered a whole new unfolding for me around the size and shape of my breasts and how I have allowed that to inform the beautiful woman I know myself to be.
What a delightful and beautiful experience you share here, Sara. Not just the buying of the bra itself, but the whole process of honouring who, and how, you have become as a woman. Everything we do in this way nurtures us and confirms our lovely, lovely, preciousness. Thank you.
Where do they have a store like that in Australia??? I want to go!!
Having also discounted my breasts I was never particular about the kind of bra I wore until I started attending Women in Livingess workshops and began to feel more of myself as a woman. Going to a specialist bra shop soon after I found I gave a lot of my power away to the assistant and came away with the wrong size for me. But the more I feel the woman I am in my woman’s body, the more confident I become in claiming what feels comfortable for me. Bodies are always changing too, especially as we change in our awareness of ourselves, so bras need constant attention and replacing.
Yes, I am finding this too, Joan, as I change my breasts change too and I need to buy different bras as I am now completely unwilling to compromise where my breasts are concerned. I am finding that I am so much more sensitive to how they are feeling and need to be very discerning when I am buying bras and willing to replace them more often as needed. Constant attention is required as you say.
Thanks Sara. It’s true that as women we hold ideals about how our breasts should be and measure ourselves and others according to this. What you have shared sheds light on how we are living from the outside in. Appreciation of ourselves as women in our natural strength and beauty builds a foundation to appreciating our bodies (breasts included) no matter our size and shape.
I can so relate to what you are sharing! I just bought new underwear and I know the effect it has on how it feels for me inside to wear the new bustier . It feels mature and womanly.. I really enjoy it and it feels so much more honouring where I am actually at as a woman.It is amazing how choices of what you wear, not only underwear, can support you in your power and quality as a woman.
Sara, I think I feel the same as you did; “…I had already discounted my breasts – like they were nothing, and like they didn’t matter…” Small breasts equals not really a women, therefore what is available to women – stillness, steadiness, true nurturing, power to name a few isn’t available to me, because I am not really a woman. You write,
“…This was very convenient because it allowed me to ‘stay young’, to ‘stay small’… to stay like a little girl, and this had kept me from claiming the true woman that I know so very well and deep within me. It also kept others in treating me this way….”
I had connected that I have had trouble calling myself and treating myself like a woman, very evident in the clothes I chose to wear, but I hadn’t realised that perhaps, like you, me not claiming myself as a woman meant others wouldn’t treat me as one either. This is very important for me to ponder deeply on, thank you for your sharing.
” Small breasts equals not really a women, therefore what is available to women – stillness, steadiness, true nurturing, power to name a few isn’t available to me, because I am not really a woman.” That’s a huge revelation, Suzanne. Thank you for such an honest sharing.
Loved reading your blog Sara. I have never stinted on bras but I found that when I look in my bra drawer they were mostly bought ‘for men to appreciate’ and never really felt that comfortable. Since getting properly fitted I found I was wearing a size too small which is a reflection to ponder on. I now buy my bras for me and my bra drawer has a totally different look and feel.
This is awesome Shelley I bet your bra draw feels completely different now that it is in celebration and appreciation of you.
Thank you Sara for this blog both insightful and inspirational ,beautiful to hear a woman appreciate herself and not hold back in supporting her body for where she is at, I don’t have a need for a bra but I do meticulously choose underwear that holds my body shape,silken feel and colour, and wow its makes a difference through a day.
It’s great to hear you speak this way Paul. I very much enjoy it when a man cares for himself in such a way.
Very cool. I love it. You’ve made me want to go bra shopping. Actually, I’ve wanted to go for a while but haven’t. I like the support you were offered in the store – excuse the pun!
I have always taken care in choosing my bras as for comfort and all around fit. Ever since my experience with a few EBMs, as you say “Now I see my breast in a completely different way” and thus continuing to claim myself as a woman. Since reading your lovely blog I feel the joy of your wonderful experience. Thank you for sharing.
Sara this sounds like so much fun! I too have small breasts and it used to feel good for me to wear little pull on bras which used to flatten me out entirely. I thought this was okay and like you made me feel like a girl. I have evolved in myself now and am much more particular about what bra I wear. In fact I enjoy wearing clothing that exposes my chest area a little more and makes me more aware of my femininity . As I read your blog it has affirmed for me how I am honouring myself as a woman so much more than I used to.
BEAUTIFUL sharing Sara. This has given me a deeper healing and I thank you.
Our breasts do play a huge part in reclaiming the woman we are. I always felt breasts were just for breastfeeding and sexual objects and always wanted to hide them and therefore couldn’t even feel they were a part of me. Through having Esoteric Breast Massages and attending Esoteric Women’s Health workshops I have been able to love and feel my breasts again and at times it feels like they want to bust out of my bra!. It felt lovely when you were talking about buying a bra how loving and supportive this was to you. This has been very inspiring and I look forward to buying my next bra.
Wow Sara, what a beautiful confirmation of the woman you are ! For me it takes time to find the right bra and when I do, I buy a few so I don’t have to go though it again. You’ve taken bra shopping to a much deeper loving and honouring of the woman we are. I’m feeling the next time I go bra shopping, it will be a different experience. Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience.
Number one on the list for things to shop for with my girlfriends is bras, we all love the colors, patterns, shapes, textures and designs. We are always telling each other what color and type of bra we have on and it comes with so much joy and celebration of our selves. For me bra shopping has finally taken over shoes.
haha – I love this Madeline. Yes, me too, bras are always top of my list… Now I love bringing this same care and loving detail to each piece of clothing – from my bra and underwear, sleepwear, hosiery, clothing and my shoes…! It takes shopping to a whole new level!
Love to hear you speak about the precision, detail and joy you bring to choosing the right bras and also each piece of clothing. It feels to be such a natural expression of ourselves as women to care for ourselves deeply in this way, and wear what confirms and supports the delicacy and beauty we feel inside.
This is beautiful Madeline, ‘bra shopping has taken over shoes’. When I read that I felt how it is a deep intimacy with ourselves when we choose and wear our bra, as it is possible no one else with see it, but we will feel the honouring of the relationship with ourselves every time it is worn.
Hi Sara. A beautiful article on a beautiful subject. I was never interested in putting in any time of effort into buying bra’s and would often only get new bras when my hold ones weren’t doing there job at all anymore. Underwear was something that was never seen so why invest in underwear and bras in particular. I have also learned through having Esoteric Breast Massage that I deserve to treat all of my body with respect, love and care. Including buying comfortable supportive and sexy bras for myself, but buying them for me, not to appeal to anyone else. I agree it is a celebration to support ourselves in this way. A celebration of who we are as women.
Nice Sara ! I love bra shopping. It is such an important thing. And it sounds like you have taken it to a whole other level. I can definitely see the connection to how women see themselves and how much self worth they have in correlation to their bras and bra shopping. We spend so much time on clothes why not on bras as well ?
Sara thank you for sharing your lovely celebration of “now no longer afraid to emanate her gorgeous and very natural womanly ways…”.
Just the other day I also visited a lovely bra boutique that had been recommended. I had a lovely time with the assistant and laid to rest a few more of the old ideals and beliefs I had about the same things your refer to.
My value v’s the dollar value of the bra and being hard to fit. I’ve spent all my life working my way around this one – but I feel it basically comes down to the worth of time, space and a little financial investment in me.
Every woman is worth this. Sharing this has opened up my connection and appreciation for how important and meaningful this seemingly simple exercise is.
Oh Sarah how beautiful. I’m so glad you got that special bra. Yes, you so deserve it. Reading your story I felt like I was getting a new bra. Your joy and claiming you somehow has also extended to me.
I also can relate to hiding behind comfort and not stepping into my power. I have been hiding with my version of this one too.
Thankyou Sara. Up until quite recently I was definitely “staying small,” and not being true to the amazing woman who was just bursting to come out. This showed me that I too was living in comfort and not wanting to rock the boat and cruise along in life. Well not anymore I’m letting the gorgeous and gentle woman out.
That’s so beautiful to hear Kelly!
Thank you for sharing Sara. I too recently went bra shopping and it was wonderful to choose a bra that felt like a perfect fit for my shape, and complimented the gorgeousness that I feel from within me. It was interesting to note now this was completely opposite to how I used to bra shop in the past. Before, I would pick a bra based on function over everything, and certainly not choose a bra with a connection and feeling to me as a woman. The past and present bra shopping experiences are polar opposites! So what has changed?.. How have I changed the approach to bra shopping…It has been after experiencing Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) that I too rediscovered a deep reconnection to myself as a woman, and really feel this nurturing center of my body is a reminder for me to nurture, love and cherish myself as a woman.
It was the same for me Johanne, having EBM’s supported me to re-connect with my body and my breasts and feel how supportive they are when they are naturally emanating and provide constant feedback. It is interesting to reflect on how this was prior to EBM’s…not appreciating or even acknowledging this precious part of my body. Knowing what I know now, it is sad to feel that the reality is that most women live with this disconnection… This is why I love these blogs so much! So much opportunity for women to read the real life experiences of women discovering that there is so much more than what we have been sold…and it’s all right here in our bodies!
I have also felt a change in my approach to bras and my breasts since having Esoteric Breast Massages. The modality has progressively allowed me to let go of many belief systems I had about myself as a woman, and my breasts and to sense what they actually feel like, which is amazing, When I really stop and allow what the breasts emanate to come to my awareness, without even touching them, they feel amazing and full of life. My approach to bra shopping now reflects this new connection of my breasts being a part of me living me, rather than me hiding these things on my chest.
I love reading blogs about us cherishing ourselves as women. I too have experienced a whole new relationship with my breasts – and buying bras has also become a totally different experience. Who knew that supporting ourselves in all the seemingly little ways adds up to making a big difference in our lives? Buying bras to hold our breasts all day is incredibly important and takes the idea that ‘my bra is supportive’ to a whole new level!
What a delicious honouring experience Sara and so confirming of how worth it you as a woman.
Well said Marcia.It is a confirmation of us as woman.
For many years I didn’t wear a bra, I was quite small breasted so could get away with it. On the occasions I did wear one I found it very uncomfortable and it was the first thing to come off when I got home. Then later in life as I went through menopause my breasts grew and a bra became necessary. I would go to the larger chain stores and buy one off the rack, not very successfully, as they were always very uncomfortable and the shopping experience, without any assistance or advice was always a chore and something I put off. Then after attending Universal Medicine and having esoteric breast massages and attending Womens’ Groups I started to gain a deeper appreciation for my self and my breasts. I now take myself to a shop that specialises in beautiful bras and womens underwear and it has become a fun experience, the women in attendance are so supportive and helpful, and the expense is nothing compared to the feeling of wearing a really beautiful well fitted garment. Spending the time to lovingly find the right bra is part of my self love and self care now and it is totally an enjoyable experience, and I am definitely worth it!
Thank you Sara. What a lovely blog. I have never stinted on my bra shopping but I would always buy plain and wearable. On my last shopping expedition I chose to honour my lightness by looking beyond the black and beige bras and took myself to the coloured bra section, and did I have fun? Bought playful purples and oranges! I love them and they love me!
I recently had a similar experience Janne, I had always bought simple plain bras, and recently bought some patterned bright ones. I love wearing them and just the fact that I have done that, shows me that I am allowing my breasts to be a full and alive, playful part of who I am. A real change from the past hiding my beautiful self.
I have had a similar experience with bras and my breasts. I only ever bought cheap bras as I found proper bras uncomfortable and it just wasn’t a priority – because my breasts and cherishing myself as a woman was never a priority. I have only recently been for my first ‘proper’ bra shop. I went with a friend and had a lovely lady support us with finding the right bra. We and our breasts are certainly worth it!
I am not aware of anything equivalent for men – no piece of clothing needs such individual fitting. However some time ago I had several suits made and the best of them looked and felt so much better than any of the others – it was amazing to see the difference.
I did notice the same about bras with my wife – when she found a really good place to fit the right bra it made quite a difference to her body.
Dear Sara,
Thank you for your sharing, I too have chosen the stay small syndrome. This is now something that I am letting go of and am beginning to live the fullness and loveliness that I actually am. Last night before going to sleep I could really feel the difference between who I really am and the way that I have been living in my body. This was a beautiful experience as it has highlighted for me just how much I dull my light, for whatever reason and just how much light and love that is actually in my body. Today I am living with this understanding in full acceptance and appreciation of the gift that I received last night and of the love that is already in my body, and deep appreciation for my body knowing that it is my body that holds this love.
Thank-you Sara, for sharing your bra experience. I think every woman can relate to not feeling the preciousness of their breasts and celebrating them in that way. You,ve inspired me to go through my bras and it feels like a shop for bras is on the cards.
A bra is such a personal and beautiful supportive gift for the body. In the past, as a woman, I often didn’t see the preciousness in choosing a bra that fitted well and felt beautiful on my skin.
It used to be more about the look and shape and less about the honouring of my breasts.
The more I support my breasts for the divine emanation they bring, the more I feel to ‘support’ them with love.
Thanks Sara for sharing this beautiful blog on your expression of self-care.
I always have loved buying lingerie as it is beautiful and delicate but i used to buy bra’s with my eyes instead of my body. I would choose what i thought looked good and would please the eyes of my partner and never even stopped to feel how the bra was fitting. Now i feel the bra first to every detail. How it cups around the breast, how the straps are fitting onto my body, is there any pinching or discomfort anywhere? The beautiful thing is that my body will let me know when the bra is right, it feels like a little celebration and i just know this is the one.
When I read this I realised how much we judge or measure ourselves against different pictures we have of what it means to be a woman. A small woman might think she is not big enough to be a woman, an older woman might think she is not young enough to be a woman of worth, a larger woman might think she is not delicate enough in frame to be a woman or whatever the story is that feds us to not accept our own unique beauty as a woman.
Sara I too have just taken myself on a bra shopping spree. A few years ago as I claimed more of me as a woman not just a mother, I began buying better quality bras which was a big step up for me. To jusitfy the quality I always waited for a sale so I felt I wasn’t spending too much on myself. Over these years I have continued to lose weight that required regular bra updates which further jusitified buying bras on sale. Last week, I decided another set of bras was needed but instead of waiting for the sale, I went to my favourite quality bra store to purchase some gorgeous bras that supported my breasts current shape and fullness. Amazingly, I found the perfect style and bought 3 as they were actually on sale. What was great about this was feeling that I was worth buying the full priced bras which is a long way from the woman who would rarely spend any money of clothes let alone bras no-one sees. I can attribute this to the support of the all Esoteric Breast Massages I have received that have assisted me to feel my inner beauty and loveliness which is now how I feel about my breasts.
How much joy in this bra shopping expedition. I have always very uncomfortable about any kind of cleavage, so my bras are functional and as unnoticeable as possible. You have changed my view Sara and I will honour my breast and myself and go choose a beautiful bra as soon as possible.
Thankyou Sara for your beautiful writing! I could feel that I also have not really claimed myself as a woman as when I was a teen I was very resistant to getting my first bra. I can feel in me a reluctance to truly accept my breasts and also myself as a woman in her loveliness. Thankyou from inspiring me and for the healing provided in your words, I am now looking forward to shopping for a new bra to truly honour myself!
How beautiful to honour yourself like this. I am finding that the more I honour myself in similar ways the more I appreciate the true fullness of other women. Truly lovely.
I never thought bra shopping could be so much fun, I felt I was with you all the way. Your article has inspired me to let go of the little girl and take my womanly self to be fitted and choose some beautiful new underwear. Thank you Sara.
Sara, your blog reminded me of myself and hiding in comfort and not choosing to be the women I know I am. One day when I was about 35, I realised that I was still
being the little girl. I would get my to ring up and make doctors appointments for me.!
I remember when I stopped and felt ” what is going on” ? Why am I choosing to stay the little girl. I could then see so many other ways that I was remaining a little girl.
From then my choices began to change. I started to grow up ( I might add at this time I had 3 children) I felt like I was becoming a women. I was starting to taking responsibility for myself.
In re-reading this blog, I feel so much appreciation for the Esoteric Breast Massage Modality, through Universal Medicine, for supporting me to re-build a relationship with my breasts that reflects my inner-most essence and expression as a woman. Almost 5 years on, I’m not quite sure where I would be and how I would be living as a woman had I not come across Esoteric Women’s Health and Universal Medicine.
A lovely blog Sara, it reminds me of how I used to buy a lot of sports bras, functional but not very flattering or feminine. As I began to value and honour myself as a woman I was able to buy bras that not only supported my breasts but looked and felt amazing to wear. I am feeling it’s time to go bra shopping again, thanks for your blog.
Dear Sara, what your story has high lighted for me is that I do not feel the same way about my breasts as you do, in fact I don’t feel much about them at all. You have started an inquiry within me.
Thank you Sara for sharing your delightful story about buying a new bra. I especially note how finding your perfect bra was a celebration that came from the fullness you were already feeling within.
I’ve always dragged my feet when buying bras, because I’m a busty lass and I often feel overwhelmed by the size of the bra when it’s on the hanger…and then I start to go into comparison with the woman in the ad in front of me. Sara, you’ve reminded me how nice it is to buy something that feels so nice to wear, and that that’s to be celebrated. How does it feel on? And then how do I feel in it? That’s all I need to ask myself.
I love how you describe your new experience in the shop, Sara, I had one very similar, after years of never even wearing a bra, to “making do” with what I could find. That is not womanly, and not supportive of either me or my breasts. My breasts had shriveled and become smaller, something I thought was the inevitable affect of old age, but after the first wonderful bra experience they have flourished and grown. Our bodies change all shape all the time, don’t they, and I am starting to understand how much that is in response to the way we live in them and treat them, and how we view them and how we feel to them. Loving every part of us helps us to be fully present in our bodies.
Sara, lovely blog, and I so relate, for years I wore the wrong size bra as indeed many women do. And more recently I’ve allowed myself to go to specialist bra shops to be fitted and buy new bras and it’s been fantastic to actually do that – I love my new bras, their fit, colour and feel. And most of all I love that I’m embracing more how to live and be me the woman, something of an on-going enfoldment.
Thank you for sharing Sara. I can relate to your experience. Over the years I have taken myself bra shopping but not really felt the connection like you express with most of the bras I have purchased.
However, recently I asked for assistance with a certain type of bra I was after and had a profound experience. I was given two makes of bras and felt all the things you describe with one of the bras. It was the first time I really felt the energy of me in a gorgeous bra. Although it was a much more expensive bra I didn’t think twice and actually bought two. It felt like I had made a beautiful connection with the woman assisting me and a deep honouring of me and my breasts.
Great article on bras, bra shopping and appreciation of ones breasts ! what a great and ongoing process. There are also different seasons requiring different colours and different activities or dressing where different types may be more supportive than others. I also find I have days or times when I like more or less support or style and times usually when I do not feel so good when any bra does not feel right and irritates. What a learning and journey we can have with our breasts and bras and how we keep them also. It is all part of the importance of our appreciation for ourselves and how nurturing we feel in that moment and the support the right bra can give us.
Thank you Sara a lot to ponder on and an inspiration for my breasts.
Thank you Sara. Your taking Bra shopping to a whole other level and celebration is inspiring.
I love buying underwear, especially bras, it is almost an art form, and so many women wear bras that don’t really fit them. I spent many a miserable time shopping for them when I was very young, as I had such a tiny frame but large cup sizes, all the bras were big ugly and felt horrid. When I was a bit older I managed to find places that did pretty bras that had my size, but none of them quite fitted, but I loved the bra so I would still buy it even though it wasn’t quite right Gosh that said a lot that I would buy something because it was cute but didn’t fit or suit me and left marks or was too loose. When I buy a bra now, everything about it counts, the fit, the feel, the look, there is no compromise, and I really love my bras. I just realised that I hang on to some old ones, that no longer fit me because they are pretty – time to let go of them… a great blog, and topic, something we can all learn from and enjoy.
Hi, Sara. This comment really jumped out at me this morning – “I had devalued myself and my worth based on an idea of what I thought breasts should be, and on an idea of what I thought a woman should be also in relation to her breasts’ size and shape.” I can relate to this and have felt myself to be less of a woman because I have smaller breasts. What a huge affect these judgements have on our relationships with ourselves.
What comes up for me when I read this article is how I’ve not truly had a proper bra fitting.
I’ve always had the attachment of buying bras for men to appreciate, and making sure they are sexy and look good. I can say that I’ve never brought a bra that supports me first.There has always been the aesthetic role it must fill.
So thank you Sara for sharing this experience – it absolutely feels time for me to support myself first and in this, explore the possibility of finding a bra that support this.
Enjoy your fist bra fitting, and especially all the care in putting your bra on and adjusting it…then take that with you for part of your everyday routine.
Since discovering a great shop in London that treats you like a woman – with soft chairs and free herbal teas etc, I love bra shopping. They don’t measure you but assess your breasts and have a great range of makes. I now have some fabulous bras. Yes they are expensive, but they last for ages – so much longer than cheaper ones. So now I wear great, well-fitting bras that support me in all ways, not just physically.
Too ensure lovely bras with an underwire last longer you can hand wash them, as going through the washing machine with the underwire can wear them out faster, and I actually quite enjoy my bra hand washing days too.
So inspiring especially talking about fully claiming yourself as a woman and no longer staying a girl and giving your power away. I’ve only got one good bra (and aren’t they expensive!) but i ‘make do’ with others. It doesn’t feel right so thanks for the reminder. I’m so worth wearing beautiful bras that fit me perfectly.
My breasts have grown too and the kind of bras I had before are no longer available. I was fitted for a new bra in a shop a few months ago. The bra I bought was not perfect but it was the best fit they had, but now, in the last few weeks, I have been feeling quite constricted around my breasts and I feel that another bra shopping day is on the horizon. You and Rosanna have reminded me what a lovely experience this can be if I choose my bra boutique well and allow plenty of time for myself celebrating and really enjoying all of me. Thank you ladies.
This is fabulous! what a gorgeous experience. It makes me realise that maybe the smaller boutiques are well worth exploring (I’ve had the same issue with getting size, fit and style all to feel right). What I loved reading was the fact you went along prepared to spend the time, spend the money and enjoy the experience as a celebration of you being all of you.
Thank you Sara so very inspiring to feel the love and honour that you have for yourself. I too had spent a long time being the girl who did not want to grow up, yet now I am learning to take responsibility and claim the women I am in full.
Amazing to feel the difference between dismissing your breasts to cherishing them from feeling your fullness and power as a women. Really inspiring, thank you Sara.
I agree Fiona really inspiring to read the difference between the two. One that I will keep hold of as a reminder when going shopping for a bra next time I am out. But also on a daily basis appreciating how special my breast are and what they can show me in every moment of the day.
Such a pleasure to read. I really felt the joy and the celebration that you feel of being a woman in your body and cherishing it. I now have all of my bras on a shelf all beautifuly laid out, not squashed and folded over in a drawer which is too small. It feels completely different to prepare and dress myself for the day with more care and order around me. I feel like it supports me and honours where I am at and my body. A good feeling!
Hi Sara, I loved reading this blog, which to me feels like a celebration of how much you (and we) can enjoy honouring ourselves. Thank you for sharing your beauty with us.
Congratulations Sara!
I can relate to much you have shared here as I am sure many women will.
I read your blog some time ago and loved your observations about your relationship with your breasts and your experience of buying a bra. Recently as a result of an Esoteric Women’s Health Program and an Esoteric Breast Massage with a Universal Medicine practitioner I too have connected more to myself as a woman which in turn led me to go shopping for a new bra. Definitely time for me to dump the unflattering plain practical sports bras, and I discovered I’ve been wearing the wrong size for years!
It was a revelatory experience, and at some point I remembered your inspiring words and so I have come back again to read, fully understand, and comment. I now truly know what you were expressing, this time from lived experience, the importance of honouring ourselves as a women in every way. I love wearing my beautiful new underwear, I feel like a grown up gorgeous woman, and in the right size bra I have a cleavage!
Thank you Sara for sharing your experience, great timing as I can feel my bras no longer support me with how they fit and feel on me – I can definitely feel a bra shopping trip coming on!
Thank you Sara, your blog has inspired me to look at the way I shop for bras, and how it could be different. When I first started buying bras there was a lot of embarrassment and a need to hide. The helpful assistants who didn’t seem to care actually added to my embarrassment. And even now, when I think about my bra shopping, I can feel there is a part of me that likes to get it over with quickly, or that taking that time to find a bra that fits is a hassle. This is great to feel, and to read about the joy, fun and love you brought to your bra shopping just shows there is always a deeper level to go to, awesome!
I really enjoyed reading this article and so much of it reflected how I have been with bras and my attitude towards myself as a woman and how this is changing as I claim myself as the beautiful woman I am.
Sara, I just re-read your blog some days ago and something very amazing is happening. I realise that when I dedicate some time and attention to choose my underwear and bras to wear on a day, I feel this dedication throughout my day, up until the moment I take them off in the evening. The feeling of choosing an underwear and bras for myself is quite a revelation too as I too was caught up in wearing beautiful underwear for others to see. These blogs are super inspiring, thank you all for your sharings and comments.
Thank you Sara for reminding me of all the care and attention the bra fitters pay to actually ensuring that breasts are fitting appropriately into a bra. All too often I just fasten up my bra, twist it round, arms in and off I go!
For me buying a bra is one thing, storing it and wearing it lovingly every time is definitely something else, work in progress.
Hi Sara – wow I loved reading this and feeling the deep honour you hold yourself in as a woman, it’s truly beautiful and inspiring to feel. I have felt very similarly both in holding myself back as a girl and beginning to really feel my strength and glory as a woman, so it is wonderful to read your blog.
I could really feel the power behind this choice and this day for you, it’s awesome. Such a simple yet supportive move to help you everyday as a woman in your fullness. Awesome.
I love Sarah how you also described this as a journey of stepping into responsibility for yourself as a woman. Magic.
It is great Shami that you pick the part responsibility for yourself as a women and this is often the part that we feel does not deserve our attention but the truth is we just have not made it as important as everything else. This is a profound article.
I’ve only up until recently seen my breasts as a part of my body that is just anatomically ‘there’. I never before made the connection between them being actually a part of my body. They were just always something that cost me money because I needed the modesty padding. There was always that back-burner thought of “what if someone thinks something bad because my nipples are visible” – Nonsense!
This blog inspired me to go out, like I have been meaning to, and actually put the time, effort and money into buying a bra for myself that will truely support me, as well as celebrate how awesome I am!
Thank you for sharing and inspiring me to get on with it.
Just an update folks, I went and got myself fitted today – and there’ll certainly be a whole blog on this, so watch this space…
I never realised how much I -deserved- to be fitted properly by someone who really knows their stuff. It was really fun and supportive at the same time and I don’t regret any of my purchases. It took my bra shopping experience to a whole new level!
That’s going to quite a blog, Cheryl. I look forward to reading it.
I do so love this blog, the words your write fairly sing with celebration. I can so connect with the deserving, the care and support that can be offered once we offer it to ourselves. Thank you – for it is nearly time for me to reclaim bra shopping and instead of the remote online experience, to boldly step into one of those stores and have a gorgeous play date with me and my breasts!
Sara, thank you for writing so eloquently about having small breasts and what that may mean to us. I was similar to you. I had not truly claimed myself as a woman. It was as though I was holding back from true, full expression. I used to buy bras without trying them on! It was as though my small breasts did not deserve the time, care, and attention of a fitting. No more! I love the support of a caring and skilled bra fitter. I love the way they know how to play with the straps to get the fit so lovely and supportive.
I can relate to using my small breasts to keep myself small and to shy away from being the woman I am too. It was during my second Esoteric Breast Massage session that I felt the fullness in my breasts return. It was amazing to really start enjoying my breasts.
Beautiful Sara. I still remember my first bra. My mother insisted that it be fitted and although I was horribly embarrassed at the time to show my budding new breasts, I can still feel the texture and see the blue spotted bra I wore home. I was the eldest girl and somehow every one of my sisters and my brother knew what we had gone shopping for. They all ran out to the car for a look. Inside, I wanted to lift my top and show them my new bra but I was too shy and remember covering up by brushing them aside. I brushed myself aside too in that moment…
Bernadette, I can feel how, if we were not in reaction to the imposed shame or recoiling sense of modesty from the world, we would wear our first bra with gentle pride, like a crown on our gorgeous budding womanhood. We may even want the whole world to know that we are now walking as a woman.
Wouldn’t that feel so beautiful and be a most natural response?
It’s so weird how much we all try to hide our very obvious transition into adulthood as if it is something embarrassing! This never has felt right to me.
I love your words, ‘we would wear our first bra with gentle pride, like a crown on our gorgeous budding womanhood.’ What a true celebration of our innate loving beauty that would be!
Thank you Sara. 😉
Thank you Sara. It’s amazing to honour ourselves… I had always gone along with, “well nobody sees it so why bother!” or “sexy underwear is worn to impress someone else and get their attention”. No honouring of myself and how I felt in those days. Now I thoroughly enjoy underwear shopping and enjoy wearing bras and knickers that fit properly and feel lovely on my body. In the beginning I bought lovely underwear and then found I did not wear it as they were to be saved for ‘best’. Over that one now, as every day is a ‘wear your best’ day. Awesome.
That’s so true Beverley, I always looked at underwear as something to entertain the boyfriend/husband etc, but I never chose it for me. Nowadays, I choose for me, lovely well fitting underwear that feels comfortable on my body. I am learning to look at where the seems are on knickers and what style of bra suits the shape of my breasts. Underwear shopping has gone to another level and now its just for me.
Rowena, Beverly, I am inspired! The bra I have been wearing for years because it is so comfortable, yet still pretty, sadly doesn’t work for me any more, and i have been putting off looking for a replacement. Time to do a little investigative research! Thank you.( I might buy knickers to match too, just for the fun of it)
Love it Beverley: as every day is a ‘wear your best’ day. Love it!
I can certainly relate to the nobody sees aspect with clothes as today I wore my nice new jumper with a lovely top underneath, both I knew no-one would see as I wore a big coat on outside and knew I wasn’t going to meet people inside today. I had a thought that wasn’t it sad that no-one would see my new jumper today but then I knew I was wearing it and I was wearing it for me, I wasn’t hiding anything under my coat!
On reflection, I always new that what was hidden like underwear was equally as important as what was shown because it existed just as much. However, it has not been a celebration of me wearing what I wear but done from a point of judgement. I realise the message I was given many times about what i wore was founded on a perceived judgement from the neighbours- what would the neighbours say? I often heard the line about what would the doctors say if I needed to be taken to hospital and I had nasty knickers on! Not that I wore nasty knickers but it was this fear of being judged by society that drove looking respectable – not too amazing and not too plain.
Wow! what a lot of judgement I can now drop. So big thanks for this great celebratory article.
I fully agree Beverley, why ever would we save our best for another day? We are worth our best every day, our best being what we are drawn to at the time.
How inspiring, I promise to never feel guilty again for choosing the best for myself! Thank you Sara.
This is great, I love a good bra shopping story. I just might take myself off bra shopping this week too. I can feel the love and joy you had in celebrating you during this experience.
Was it Simone Perelle????? A beautiful, brilliant and insightful blog Sara! I loved the way you have pointed to the comfort of staying as a little girl who doesn’t have to take responsibility or ruffle feathers – a real archetype of how to keep ourselves from living richly and fully. Thank you!