I never really considered how I related to my breasts beyond them being a nuisance or an annoyance. Yes, I got attention because of these breasts of mine, but not in a good way, and I felt riled and annoyed each time this was happening.
I’ve always been conscious of my breasts, not in a proud or appreciative way, but as something I felt extremely awkward about, a part of me I was not exactly sure what to do with, and blithely ignored as much as possible. Plus, they hurt, especially during my periods and so they were often considered a nuisance.
For years I wore the wrong size bra, apparently and surprisingly up to 80% of women do, (1). The figure seems absurd, and yet many sources corroborate this. Imagine wearing the wrong size shoes!
Yet, for years I wore ill-fitting (often ugly) bras, and didn’t really think much of it. The sad thing is that I didn’t even notice. And that says a lot, for I’d notice any ill-fitting pants, hats, or socks, (or shoes).
But things have changed in my lingerie drawer, (yes I now proudly own one!) with many beautiful bras and they all fit perfectly!
So what exactly changed?
I did. And my relationship with my breasts changed profoundly so.
It all started when I came across a modality called the Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM). Most people (me included) find the sound of ‘breast massage’ slightly odd. It’s like we’ve set aside our breasts as a no-go zone, reserved for special occasions, usually sex and feeding, and to have them treated in another way feels unfamiliar and/or peculiar?
Yet I was curious, and wanted to know more about Esoteric Breast Massage.
I was nervous about taking off my top, and yet pushed through anyway. The female practitioner was gorgeously caring and very supportive – there was no judgement in how I was, just an acceptance and an offering of deep care which blew me away, from being covered with a warm towel (delicious) to being asked questions and held in a way that felt very precious.
It felt amazing and a little shocking to know and feel I hadn’t treated myself in this way. Yet, again, no demands or expectations, just a simple being and showing. I felt like the most precious jewel and the care with which I was treated moved me deeply.
During the initial EBM sessions I felt a lot in my breasts and it wasn’t always comfortable, but surrounded by that love and care, I allowed myself to feel what was there and the practitioner supported me to understand that this was just how I’d been living, and not necessarily who I am. Most importantly I learned not to condemn myself for my past choices but to see and feel what I choose now.
Each EBM session revealed another loveless layer deposited deep within the mammary glands of my breasts and each time I came away feeling more connected to and in greater union with my breasts and my whole body. I could no longer treat this amazing nurturing organ of mine as a nuisance but instead I have been re-learning to embrace them as a part of me, and a precious part at that.
And so of course the old over and under sized bras needed to go. And at long last, I finally had a bra fitting and got to understand what my true bra size was, as well as that it can change, plus a bonus – how to actually put on a bra! I know, I know, it had taken a while to get to this stage but it was absolutely worth it.
I would not have the understanding and relationship I do with my breasts right now without the Esoteric Breast Massage journey and I expect to have them for the rest of my life. Not because I need them but because I love the support they offer in continually building my relationship with me, my breasts and my body, whilst showing me how much I actually do and can live the preciousness and love I truly am.
by Monica, UK
References:
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An exquisitely tender therapy by women for women that honours deeply and reminds the woman of her beauty and strength … Esoteric Breast Massage
Recently I have been feeling it is time… time for some new bras!! I simply feel that I deserve it! Read Sara’s journey on Taking her Bra Shopping to a new Level.
Women in Livingness Blog 
For me the Esoteric Breast Massage modality has been life changing, I have gone from very little awareness of my breasts and little self care for that part of my body, to loving my breasts, caring for them with daily moisturising with cream, getting beautiful and supportive bras, and feeling generally much more self honouring as a woman. It’s hard to describe the whole package that the Esoteric Breast Massage delivers, but it’s an exquisite reconnection to the essence I truly am as a woman and a new sense of deep love and preciousness in how I care for myself.
I love this blog, written by a beautiful woman who is forever deepening her relationship with what it is to be a woman in the world today. Forever evolving & always willing to look deeper. You are an inspiration for many Monica, thank you for writing this.
This modality is grace itself. There have been scathing comments from the media about this modality and they have painted it as absurd/warped, but the truth is far from it. The EBM is truly supportive; I have felt the utmost care and respect from practitioners who have supported me to feel a greater connection to myself as a woman and to feel an exquisite delicateness within. Understandably, this may not be a choice for many women, but every woman who I have spoken to who has experienced an EBM has only great things to say about it.
EBMs have been an integral part of me building a relationship with my breasts which has supported me in so many ways including connecting to myself as a delicate and tender woman which I spent so many years denying. It feels like coming home to my body and all the support that it can offer me now I am opening up to the constant loving communication offered.
It doesn’t make sense how we can live our lives disengaged or shut down to parts of our bodies such as our breasts as then we have a sense of unfulfillment that we seek outside of ourselves to fill. In dishonouring one part of ourselves we forgo living the power of all that we are. I love that you have shared this Monica as it is a great reminder that every part of our body reflects the truth of the magnificence of who we naturally and sacredly are.
The more I care for myself, the more I understand the next level of care I feel to explore, and that’s the details I’m finding just now in nurturing, how we are with us is not static, it grows and expands always and just as our bra sizes can change, so too do our nurturing; it deepens, it asks us to deepen and as someone has shared earlier our breasts reflect to us how we’ve been in that nurturing with us, and in allowing ourselves to see and observe this we open the space for how we are to be with us now, it’s a forever exploring and when we allow ourselves to accept and embrace this, a deep joy is felt in us and by all around us.
Yes I love the expansion constantly on offer in our relationship with our breasts and our body when we are open to the reflection that is available.
I wasn’t surprised that most women wear the wrong sized bra. When I do massages for women, often there are deep dents in the skin from the bra. I think we tend to expect bras to be uncomfortable and confuse this or put up with discomfort of a poorly fitted bra. And as Monica said, we tend to ignore or dislike our breasts so do not treat them with the same care as other parts of the body.
“I felt like the most precious jewel and the care with which I was treated moved me deeply.” An EBM is a reflection of how every woman should treat and care for her own body.
It makes perfect sense that the relationship we have with our breasts is directly linked to how we feel about ourselves as a woman.
The Esoteric Breast Massage is deeply supportive in inspiring women to take care and look after their breasts. I know for me it was like you Monica, no really interest for attention towards my breasts or bra, they were just there and what I had would make do. Kick that dismissive way of being with myself and my breasts and embracing the time to moisturise, put on a lovely warm bra and the colour that I feel like is all part of deepening the love for myself.
Yes, the Esoteric Breast Massage sessions are very beautiful to experience, ‘ just an acceptance and an offering of deep care which blew me away, from being covered with a warm towel (delicious) to being asked questions and held in a way that felt very precious.’
I know that once I had got all the awkwardness that I had felt from myself not the practitioner around having and EBM and letting myself feel my breasts in a different way, like you to actually connect and feel them and let them become part of my body not just a numbed out area I ignored. I have huge appreciation for the modality and how this has supported one of my breasts feeling completely different but also my connection to myself within and how this has become a lot more precious and sacred.
It is an important note that what comes up during an Esoteric Breast Massage is not who we are. There can be much sadness and grief that arises because of the disregard we have been living towards ourselves but this is simply from choices we have made that we can always re-imprint if we so choose. Learning to let go is healing; for every ill-movement we let go of, we create space for a potential greater love for ourselves.
A beautiful sharing Monica, and I love your photo, your smile makes me smile also. I haven’t had a EBM for sometime now, I can relate to feeling much the same as you did with your practitioner so beautifully held and tenderly touched. It seems time to treat myself and my body to the amazing healing qualities offered through this modality.
Sometimes when I connect to the tenderness of my breasts I just want to cry, it is so precious, so beautiful yet I don’t live connected to that in every single second of my day. But no worries, I very soon will – thank you Esoteric Women’s Health, Natalie Benhayon and the EBM.
It is interesting that we can pay so much attention to what creams and make up we apply to our face and yet we do not apply the same level of care and attention to different areas of our body.
The support that I’ve received by working with Universal Medicine is huge. Some years ago I lived in complete ignorance of my body, thinking that I could do whatever I liked without think in the consequences. I thought that I was ok but luckily my anxiousness and first symptoms of depression said something different. Receiving sessions from the different esoteric modalities along these years have shown me how to live in another way, in more regard and honour towards myself and how to connect and feel my body in my day to day. Today this way of living is a loving ongoing process that I deeply appreciate very much. I couldn’t live in another way certainly.
It’s very precious how you described your experience with Esoteric Breast Massage Monica. Your words brings me back to this sacred space and the deep care and tenderness that is offered in these sessions. Thanks for sharing
I now very much welcome my sessions of Esoteric Breast Massage as I connect deeply to the sacredness of the woman I am and appreciate the reminder my body offers if there is any area of hardness or discomfort that reflects the way I have been living that is not honouring of myself as a beautiful woman.
Embracing ourselves and deepening our relationship with ourselves is a joy and we also need reminders along the way to allow us to appreciate what has changed, how we’ve changed and to know that that’s a continual thing. Reading my own story of how I’ve changed reminds me that the next changes I can feel and know are in the offing will allow a greater depth, and that to accept and allow that depth. It’s very inspiring to know that we’re not on this journey alone, and each and every one of us brings another facet for us all to see and understand that the love we are doesn’t have an end, it’s just got more (beyond our imagination) ways to be expressed.
I used to have a horrendous time with my breasts hurting with mastitis. The condition was so painful that I couldn’t turn onto my side at night because of the pain of moving them. My only source of treatment was wearing a bra 24/7 and taking an oil, which I can’t remember the name of. This went on for many years until I started to have Esoteric Healing sessions and the pain went away almost immediately as I changed my diet to take out the gluten and dairy, and started to look after myself. In those days if anyone would have suggested Esoteric Breast Massage as a treatment, I couldn’t have done it because of the pain I was in, but now I can have the treatments without feeling the extreme pain. My breasts have released a lot of hardness, protection, lumpiness and the effects of being ignored, hated at times and seen as an inconvenience. It makes perfect sense to me now that the relationship we have with our breasts can show up in the conditions we end up with.