Indian Inheritance – Re-claiming my Worth as a Woman

I grew up one of three girls with a brother eleven years younger. My parents immigrated to the UK from India before I was born. My mother made it clear for as long as I can remember, that to have girls was a sin and she must have done some very bad things in her past lives to get 3 girls this time round. When my mother was pregnant with my brother I recall her saying she wanted to be sent to a mental institution if it was a girl.

In January 2008, I had a blood transfusion and was diagnosed with a tumor. At the very same time, my family were in India and my sisters were asked to sign legal documents relating to my parents’ will, to remove their names from the family inheritance. I was not present, so my brother’s wife was asked to forge my signature, which she did from a sense of duty as a new bride. My sister-in-law was still full of shame and regret when she later told me.

My sisters were in so much reaction and deeply hurt knowing that this was all wrong. It was never about the money – it was about the fact that girls in my family were never seen as equal. To make matters worse in my parents eyes, their only grandchildren at the time were disappointingly two ‘girls’.

The drama went on for some time and I had no intention of doing anything about it as I always knew from a young age that we could not inherit any monies because of the simple fact – I was born a girl. There was no surprise I got a tumor in the female department of my body. I spent my life wanting to be a boy, acted like a boy and then grew up and did a ‘man’s’ job.  Guess what?  I achieved all of that at the expense of my body copping the loveless choices I made consistently.

For a number of years now I have been committed to making loving choices instead, based on rediscovering who I am and living from that truth, rather than a life of reaction or measuring up to culturally what is expected of me.

Then interestingly in August 2013, my parents made a complete turnaround and decided to change their will and insist it be divided equally amongst their four children.

Could it be possible that if one person begins to make choices to bring equal balance within their body and live it to the best of their ability, life reflects that equalness back?

In my case, I have made huge changes since 2008 and I never really gave the inheritance much attention.  Instead I focused on me and my wellbeing and how I could start to love myself and this has now finally led to me beginning to accept myself as a woman.

Something I have never ever wanted all my life suddenly feels true for me – to Live as a woman, because the Truth is I was born a woman. And there is nothing wrong about that.

by Ben Patel

Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon

280 thoughts on “Indian Inheritance – Re-claiming my Worth as a Woman

  1. It could have been so easy for you to be upset about the money and become fixated on the inequality of the situation within your family, but instead you focussed on living what you know to be true, and letting go of all the traditional and cultural pressures that you could so easily have got caught up in. By not getting caught up or going into reaction, you offered your parents space to reflect, which allowed them to feel the inequality they had previously chosen.

  2. It’s amazing that once we start to take deep care of ourselves and to love ourselves deeply, we realise that none of the justifications or excuses as to why we ‘couldn’t’ do that before stand up. There is no relationship, no job or project or any thing that is more important than respecting, loving and caring for our bodies. When we commit to those basics, then we have the energy, the care and the quality that then naturally flows into everything else – and often is reflected back to us.

  3. Your power to go on and not giving the inheritance issue in the family much attention is amazing, you could have gone into reaction and blaming your parents for their decisions but instead you have changed the tide and build yourself a life based on truth and love not only for you but for many in the same position and for your family.

  4. There are so so many gorgeous, beauty-full and wonder-full things about every women. To think that it is a sin to give birth to one feels absolutely horrible.

  5. I have been embracing myself as a woman, enjoying being a female and all our gorgeous qualities, and as I step more into my power I too notice how family dynamics change.

  6. Rereading this blog today, it really sank in how similar it has been in my family with regards to the boys being the ones that count, them receiving monies from the family, and how I never wanted to be a girl growing up in that situation. This pattern and consciousness still lingers on in parts of the world, and how wonderful that we are saying yes to equality, we are all equal in every sense of the word.

  7. I have seen many cases of change within families when one person has started the journey back to self love and God. It’s a great reminder that we impact far more people than we know by our choices, and the effects can be felt all over the world.

  8. How can we totally appreciate ourselves as women if we first can’t accept ourselves as such and could this also be related to our feeling equal in every way with everyone else?

  9. Absolutely nothing wrong with being a woman, and you turning this around has so obviously supported your family, sisters and other women who have been suppressed from enjoying and celebrating themselves as women.

  10. “Could it be possible that if one person begins to make choices to bring equal balance within their body and live it to the best of their ability, life reflects that equalness back?”

    Absolutely. It is the nature of the Universe we live within and that lives within us. When we give ourselves permission to shine, we remind all others they are also of this warmth and this light.

  11. ” Could it be possible that if one person begins to make choices to bring equal balance within their body and live it to the best of their ability, life reflects that equalness back?”
    Yes this is true your are living proof of this truth as by you story. It just take one to change the world but it takes all of us to complete that change.

  12. Rereading this blog gave me goose-bumps as I realised just how connected we all are and just how symbolic everything is.

  13. Thank you for sharing your uplifting story and the ripple effect of one member of the family making changes in their attitude to themselves as a woman and what has unfolded subsequently.

  14. If she thinks having girls is a sin, what does that make her and the girls? Evil? It is a very strange opinion to have as it does not seem to make sense even if one tries.

  15. It was interesting coming back to your blog this time Ben I could really feel the importance of how if we live in a way that is loving caring and supportive, magic happens in the most amazing ways.

  16. Culture definitely plays a great part in inequality, when parents are brought up with ideals and beliefs that girls are lesser, they automatically live the same beliefs too. It was lovely to read your blog and how through living from love your parents became able to recognise the importance of equality over histories of old beliefs.

  17. In a recent Esoteric Yoga program the theme has been on our ‘worth’ as women – without doubt, the depth of value we place on our worth, affects the quality of self nurturing, love and care we hold ourselves in.

  18. Great sharing Ben, it just goes to show that life is a reflection. Change ourselves and the reflection changes.

  19. If we focus on what is true for ourselves like you did by focussing on yourself and your own wellbeing everybody can feel this change and has a choice to either resist or embrace what you’ve offered. And it is amazing to read how you have empowered yourself as a woman.

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