Going with or Resisting our Natural Cycles

‘I am in a 60+ year old body and yes, it is starting to show signs of ageing, but the me inside this body feels sparklier and more vital than it ever has; regardless of what is going on physically – the connection to my inner self is deepening and expanding exponentially – I put this down to acceptance and appreciation of the innate qualities I have and express.~ Judy

We have created such a weird construct in society in which we impose stops, negativity and ‘no gos’ on our natural cycles (ageing, menstruation, menopause, dying … to name a few) and this leaves us in a quandary and no man’s land in terms of our relationship with, and acceptance of, ourselves, our bodies and life.

It is a social construct that we all buy into, investing in pictures and ideals of perfection and what is attractive; for women most acutely this is around attracting and keeping a partner.

We scoop up any number of the roles on offer (mother, career woman, daughter, wife…) and morph ourselves into the pictures that society lays before us, incrementally and with every step moving away from who we truly are and the fullness of our natural expression.

How exhausting it is to try and stem what is not only natural but also inevitable. We can, as women, with absolute certainty know that we will age, that we will menstruate and go through menopause …

As two older women, we have experienced the challenges of ageing in a society that neither embraces nor celebrates this process. And out the other side of menopause we are considered ‘spent’ and ready to be ‘put out to pasture’. Studying and working with Universal Medicine however, this has not been how things have turned out for us. A combination of understanding the divine order of cycles, developing self-value and respect, alongside the practical application of self-care and responsibility around the choices we make about our diet, exercise, sleep and the way we work, have meant that we have been able to buck the trend and to blossom as we grow older.

Matilda Bathurst & Judy Joy-Going with or resisting our natural cycles

Exploring our relationship with food, being honest about the way we feel after we eat certain foods and how we use food to soften and/or numb ourselves from what we are feeling; dulling our innate, instinctive intuition about what is really going on in life, has opened up our understanding of the way we can hamper our awareness, or not.

There are many other lifestyle choices we make that can either support or disturb our connection to and understanding of ourselves and life. These include the use of alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and other drugs – all of which interfere with our physiological homeostasis, override or silence the signs our bodies flag up, and corrupt the opportunity we have every step of the way to listen to our bodies and respond respectfully to what they show us.

Whilst we can endlessly discuss the whys of this, might it be more purposeful and significant to explore how we can support ourselves as women, and eventually each other, to hold steady and confident with our natural way of being?

We have come to understand and appreciate (and this is an ever-deepening thing) the absolute preciousness, strength, sweetness, power and joy of being women; of having this opportunity to express all the qualities of being women on Earth at this time. As we have moved through the many natural cycles of life, the more we have come to accept and appreciate our innate qualities and the simpler and more purposeful our lives have become. We would suggest that this is on offer to all women, whatever age they are and sharing this with each other in simply writing this article brings the inspiration of this to the fore and invites us to be open to the ‘what next’ …

By Judy Joy  and Matilda Bathurst

For further inspiration …

Judy and Matilda’s previous blog ‘On the Shelf or Embracing Life?’

Matilda’s previous blog on ‘Growing Old Beautifully and Looking Back with Understanding

Loving myself determines how I feel at any age‘.. Ariana’s blog that asks ‘why would anyone not want to be older?’

 

 

763 thoughts on “Going with or Resisting our Natural Cycles

  1. I haven’t appreciated the strengths of being a woman as I perceived men got it ‘so much easier’. Now I see that both genders are out of balance and neither is easier which is illustrated in the outrageous rates of illness and disease. You have offered me a benchmark for myself as a woman and I will enjoy deepening my relationship with myself as I discover my natural “absolute preciousness, strength, sweetness, power and joy of being women”.

  2. ‘How exhausting it is to try and stem what is not only natural but also inevitable.’ It just came to me while reading this, when we often say that we are tired is it not because we are busy and have so much on but that first and foremost we are fighting ourselves from within!?

  3. Life around us is configured in a way to impose upon a woman from birth. But left to her own devices and natural self, she can only blossom and glow and step into her own power This goes to show how much we are up against in the world – how much energies are obsessed with holding the woman down. But the real question is – how much are we playing into that game, and how much are we shying away from our own power?

  4. Throughout every phase in our life as women (and as men) we have so much to offer. Aside from the actual lived life experiences that we each bring (as every experience we have had and held an awareness of means we can share how it affected us and how we handled it and learned from it), there is also the deeper beauty and qualities that we each bring which are a unique angle and reflection of the divinity that lies within each of us. This aspect of ourselves, the deeply divine quality and qualities that we hold are there to be shared with all so that we all get inspired by each other and learn to grow and blossom together. Sadly this is often not what happens as we tend to go into comparison and jealousy instead of seeing and feeling what is on offer and being inspired by our women sisters and friends. But we do have the choice, the choice to feel and let go of the jealousy and instead allow ourselves to embrace the true growth that is on offer.

  5. The more aware we get, the more we can feel the rhythm that supports us and go with it. To then go against the flow is immediately registered in the body as feeling uncomfortable, an unsettlement against the cycle… so we can very quickly respond and return to the rhythm.

  6. There is a flow of life that supports us to flow in it, when we surrender and go with acceptance of the cycles we live in. Judy and Matilda, I love how you say we can learn to be open to the ‘what next’ … just bring on whatever is next.

  7. There are so many roles and expectations imposed on women, we can often lose sight of the natural rhythms that keep pulling us back to the magnificence we are.

  8. It has come to me that the more we resist the cycles in front of us and the cycles we are in the more stress and pain we put on our lives, far better to stop and surrender to life’s magical rhythm rather then to fight it. This is where I have found the Esoteric Healing Modalities to be amazing, they help me to rest deeply and to surrender to the all that there is.

  9. I love this blog because it’s not advocating perfection, but going with the cycles and working on what’s needed as we go.

  10. I love the understanding of living life with our cycles. It’s down to the tiny details of when to leave the house to go out. not by the clock, but by the rhythm, and then everything flows, and we meet whoever we need to meet.

  11. I have spoken to several women in the last few days and one thing that they all have in common is that they do not appreciate themselves nor value themselves any way near as much as is their due and when they are reflected back the glory that they are they step up to that, they become more of the gorgeous, glorious, light-filled beings that they are. We can do so much to support each other and so much more in supporting ourselves.

  12. We all have a choice to go with or resist our natural cycles and for me the more that I am willing to listen to my body’s ever loving communication the more that I feel supported by the choices I am making and the more obvious it becomes when my choices eg with food have an impact the next day/days which offer me new learning and the opportunity to make different choices in the future.

  13. This is a much needed action we can take for ourselves, that is – ‘to explore how we can support ourselves as women, and eventually each other, to hold steady and confident with our natural way of being?’ If we come to an understanding that we can have this as our foundation, what more can we explore and develop? That is for us each to consider.

    1. Having a friend staying at the moment I have really appreciated the opportunity to share what is happening for me at the moment and be supported to lovingly come back to myself and make different choices.

  14. I so appreciate how you write “inside this body feels sparklier and more vital than it ever has” because that is the truth – even on a bad day I feel better than I used to before I met Natalie Benhayon and her family.

  15. Supporting each other as women and speaking up as to how we are feeling, being really honest in a way that is going to offer growth and expansion to another – I don’t often see this in the world – too often we just keep things the way they are – no wonder there is so much hidden frustration and unrest.
    I so appreciate when I get this kind of support and also realise how simple it can be to offer it.

  16. Many of us can relate to that instinctive intuitive knowing of what really is going on in life, if we follow this inner knowing it delivers us lovinging back home.

  17. I do not want to ‘Stem the flow’ it feels liberating to embrace the stages of life, of what is there to learn and express. Trying to control life is no fun and stale and how can we like or love ourselves if we can accept who we are and where we are at.

  18. I love the simplicity offered here – to make the choice to go with our natural cycles or… resist… always a choice.

  19. Like sculptors we have attempted to recast lies and corrupted behaviours as the fine part of life. What if we stoped trying to convince others and carved out a consistent Love for ourselves?

  20. I was chatting to a beautiful young girl the other day about beauty treatments and how younger and younger women are feeling the need to modify their appearance. My response to this is that we need more and more really steady role models to honour and reflect true beauty as the sparkle from inside, the so much more than our physical appearance.

  21. I am well past menopause, and now considered to be also past ‘retirement age’, but there is no way I am going to “put out to pasture”, just because others think that I am an old lady. At 69 years young I feel anything but old, and am absolutely enjoying life and appreciate every single day, and will continue to do so until my cycle of this life comes to an end

    1. I have had many conversations where women are telling me they are feeling like the ‘invisibles’ because they are not seen in socity as they get older. I love reading what you are sharing about how you are feeling about yourself. I am inspired and in my forties I can feel the pressure to hold back…I say no way, enjoy and celebrate life.

      1. I have also heard about women feeling they come invisible at a certain age, disappearing into the background of ‘old age’. Maybe this is because they have become invisible to themselves, no longer knowing who they are and unsure of how to find themselves again. This certainly has not been my experience, as over the last 10 years I have come to know myself a whole lot more than I have ever done, and as a result feel very visible indeed.

  22. It’s so key to have a relationship with the body that is deeply caring and attentive, one where we respectfully listen to it’s communication. Without that it so easy to get lost in the mind and subscribe to the many images and expectations about what a woman should be. That nurturing connection to the body helps hold me as a woman so I can feel from me who I am and what’s supportive for me or not. Having been lost in the images and expectations, as well as all the beliefs, I’ve found honouring my body is helping restore me back to living from myself, instead of from the dictates of the outer world.

  23. “How exhausting it is to try and stem what is not only natural but also inevitable.” We could also use this statement in regards to death too, its exhausting and a blight on our society that we deny and a void something that is natural to all of us.

  24. “‘I am in a 60+ year old body and yes, it is starting to show signs of ageing, but the me inside this body feels sparklier and more vital than it ever has; regardless of what is going on physically ” Beautiful Judy a joy to read and feel in myself also the deepening and connection within and the acceptance and love of simply being ourselves in the world.

  25. Society fights with the natural cycles of the body. We are constantly pulled to want to be something we are not. And in that we are saying no to truth and evolution

    1. And that ‘fighting’, which is so evident in many parts of society, only serves to take us further and further away from who we are, and is rather exhausting. After all, to stop or put off something that is so very natural takes a huge force which makes living in the denial of what is really going on continually challenging.

    2. This gives me a really clear focus about how important it is to embrace our cycles (ageing, menstruation, life and death…) and to offer this alternative relationship with ourselves and life.

  26. For me underneath the life I had created for myself which was in keeping to the rest of society I did feel there was something more to life and could feel a pulse to it. Once I attended a presentation by Natalie Benhayon I got to appreciate that this was in fact something that I had dismissed so the re-igniting of my cycles not just as a women but Universal ones too I can feel the enormous power in them and how they are there to be worked with not ignored.

  27. It is wonderful to read your experience that: “A combination of understanding the divine order of cycles, developing self-value and respect, alongside the practical application of self-care and responsibility around the choices we make about our diet, exercise, sleep and the way we work, have meant that we have been able to buck the trend and to blossom as we grow older.” Just in this statement alone there is a wealth of tips and insights that if we choose to embrace, can support every single one of us.

  28. Such an appreciation and love of ageing with the joy and contentment it can bring if we allow it by living life in full in every moment and re imprinting the way of ageing currently in society to one of true beauty purpose and vitality.

  29. What you both share is very inspirational and potentially life changing for all the younger women reading this blog. We no longer have to accept the norm that once you hit a certain age you are seen as insignificant and useless. Such lies. As an elder the wisdom only deepens within as stated “the connection to my inner self is deepening and expanding exponentially – I put this down to acceptance and appreciation of the innate qualities I have and express.’ ~ Judy

  30. I too am having more fun as I get older than I ever imagined possible. As we get older we have the opportunity to deeper into the truly beautiful women that we are.

  31. I was sharing with someone recently what I do for a living and my daily routine, they asked me my age and I replied 62 and they shared with me that many women of my age in Europe were looking forward to their retirement. All I can say is that through my association with Serge Benhayon over the years, his loving support has enabled me to understand that yes I’m getting older but that I do not have to slow down that life is best lived in full to my very last breath. I’m having more fun now than at any other time of my life, it’s amazing!

  32. am realising that I have used food like a sedative if I am not being aware of how I am feeling. And it does not have to be chips or pizza..it can even be a big plate of vege…it is all in the intention..the quality we hold ourselves in before our next move or hand in the biscuit pack…well worth checking in with our relationship with food, how our bodies feel and how we can support ourselves. For example tired..long week… bath and bed or chocolate and TV .. choices…? Some times it maybe both…but chose honesty and it will naturally expose what supports and what does not and with love and understanding we can begin to chose…well love..self love…which is and can only be love for all.

  33. Such is the pull to be everything we are not that we allow ourselves to be led by the nose deep into it, yet the option is always there for us to return to who we are.

  34. This really turns time and aging on its head – the older we get the sparklier we can become, and what a beautiful living example of this here: “….inside this body feels sparklier and more vital than it ever has; regardless of what is going on physically – the connection to my inner self is deepening and expanding exponentially – I put this down to acceptance and appreciation of the innate qualities I have and express.’

  35. It’s an interesting observation to see how we ‘scoop up any number of the roles on offer (mother, career woman, daughter, wife…’ as though it will add value to who we are, a bit like the belief we are brought up with that the more education certificates you get the better you are. The truth is we are already everything the moment we were conceived.

    1. We do identify ourselves by roles, we stack them up as proof of worth…a dangerous game for all involved. Chose to be who we are first and when undertaking roles not lose who we are then how can we ever lose ourselves when it is time for a certain role to come to an end, completion, an evolution is offered and without control, need or dismay etc we can allow it to unfold naturally.

      1. Samantha I was exploring the roles I’ve played yesterday and particularly the one you mention of ‘mother’, and I got a very clear sense that when we actually identify with a role (whatever that role may be) it colours the relationship. Be it wife, daughter, friend or any other role, there is a colouration of the pictures and beliefs that come with the identifying role , and these stop us from a true relationship: one where we can observe and hold the other in equalness and then offer the next thing to the relationship – rather than judge the recipient of the role, and ourselves, according to the false pictures tied up in the role.

  36. This is gorgeous to read. Today I was seeing friend’s photos on Facebook and how beautiful they are as they get older. I was struck by this notion I once had that you mention, that we hit an optimum target and then deteriorate. What these friends were showing me was how, when we connect to our inner beauty and let it be seen, there is no deterioration, there is no need to stem the floods of time – or whatever the phrase is. There is only appreciation and joy.

  37. What a quote…“….inside this body feels sparklier and more vital than it ever has; regardless of what is going on physically – the connection to my inner self is deepening and expanding exponentially – I put this down to acceptance and appreciation of the innate qualities I have and express.’ ~ Judy“ The wisdom and inspiration is clear and loud…we are born with all we need within waiting to be expresssed. And wow the sparkle shines out when we begin to accept who we are.

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