Reading about other women’s experiences has helped me to learn about how women can support each other. This level of awareness has offered me the opportunity to appreciate the simplest of ways we as women can be there for each other. Recently, I witnessed such appreciation on a most practical level.
I was sitting in the waiting room of a Medical Centre on a Saturday afternoon filled with many ill patients waiting their turn to be seen by the doctors. I noticed that most of the patients were women sitting with their sick children for hours, way before I had arrived. The children looked tired and exhausted and the mothers were doing their best to support them as they waited patiently to be seen by the next available doctor. There was an urgency in the eyes of the various women and a sense of relief when their names were called out from the front desk.
I observed mothers with two, three and four children lining the reception room. As the hours passed the children became restless. For some, their newborns were hungry, or ready for their sleep time. One mother was feeling overwhelmed and doing her best to support her twins who were unsettled, and as she tried to feed her toddler, she was called in to see the doctor.
What took place within seconds was a humbling experience to watch. Women of all ages surrounded her providing instant support. Two elderly women carried a child each and another supported her to feed the little toddler. They encouraged her to take this opportunity to go into the doctor’s surgery and get seen, and that they would look after the children. In unison, they reassured her that the children would be okay.
This woman stood shocked and began crying not only from the overwhelm, but the depth of love that was offered to her by other women that seemed to be strangers, yet in this moment of need, felt like family. Knowing that others were caring for her in a time of need, the woman could let go of protecting her children and fearing what could happen.
Within seconds I started to feel teary, not in a sad way, but in a humbled appreciation of all the women that went to assist this mother in need. I felt a deep respect for those women as they carried on caring for the children and chatted quietly amongst themselves. In the past I would have sprung into action and gone into fixing the situation. On that day, I was given an opportunity to stand back and appreciate these incredible women and the quality of care they gave to one another with the simplest of ways and with such ease.
The conversation was minimal yet the level of support was maximum!
Sitting and appreciating this moment I pondered on how this experience was rare and unusual in our current world. There is an underlying expectation that mothers need to ‘just get on with life.’ If we are run down or needing medical support we often don’t feel comfortable asking for help, and feel that we ‘should’ be able to cope with these situations. It is often these ideas and beliefs that we carry and guard ourselves with when we head out into the world and put on a brave face for all to see. With that expectation of ourselves, we don’t allow the support from others, even when we could really do with it. We then all miss out: if we’re all pretending we’ve got it sorted, and not allowing ourselves to be fragile, vulnerable and human, there’s a disconnect from ourselves and from other women.
This woman allowed herself to trust these elderly women, and their genuine offer of care, free from any judgment or expectations. She surrendered to the possibility that fragility was not a weakness but an opportunity to be provided with the support from others without an ounce of hesitation. An abundance of love offered so that there was space for this woman to reconnect to herself and be provided with the quality of care she needed to continue to support her family.
This level of support came from the appreciation and confirmation I witnessed on that day of the WOMEN WE ARE.
By Anonymous, Australia
For further inspiration …
Can we be women first, before we are mothers? Read Sharon’s experience on getting lost in mothering – and how she found her way back to herself.
Mothering – the essence of true nurturing.
Esoteric Women’s Health – dedicated to bringing true wellbeing to women.
549 thoughts on “The Women we ARE”
In our current world and society, especially now in 2020 with the COVID-19 social isolation rules, we are getting to feel how much it really matters to have people support each other, to reach out and help each other in various ways. As women we hold a resilience in life, and a capacity to handle things ourselves, and yet when another reaches out to support, there is an instant feeling of connection and knowing that we are not alone and that it is not about soldiering on but being open to the support of those around us.
Anon – thank you so much for your sharing. This was indeed beautiful to read, to realise that when we reach out to each other and offer true support, this ignites a feeling of community and confirming for us that raising our kids and all the other things in life are about team work and a community helping hand.
It always amazes me how easily and readily people read and respond to one another. I love this story, as it shows so clearly what humanity is truly made of, as so often we have no idea of our readiness to respond in love and understanding until a situation like the in the blog is presented to us.
When we are aware the flow of life knowing we are held in God’s love we can not help love and support one another. It is natural to us as it is to breathe.
Spot on Anon – there is a natural part of us that seeks to be there with and for another when there is a true need – and this happens through our innate connection deep within.
Forget chit chat – conversation can be very minimal but still so super supportive and meaningful – that is there is genuine love and care in the mix.
“The conversation was minimal yet the level of support was maximum!” so much is expressed just by our movements and body language, as women always sense when if we are open and genuine or not.
I love it when we come together like that, there is far to much bitchyness,competition and comparison in this world, when we do have moments like this we are reminded this is our natural way of being and anything else is abuse.
This is a beautiful blog, isn’t it common that we’d think strangers and other people in general are out to get us. We keep a distance from others because we’re not certain of their intentions, parents have learned to not trust the strangers they meet and children are forbidden to talk to people who they do not know. All of the horrible things happening in the world are forever showing us that we can’t trust one another and that we should always be wary, but that is painful, it is sad. The depth of care and warmth we are all capable of and cary within our hearts is something very real and tangible. Every single one of us can connect to that & when we hold people in their imperfections, judge & criticise them, they find it even more difficult to connect to that so what we see often is the outplay of a reaction to our judgements & not the natural behaviour of those we are looking at.
Today just for example I have had amazing connection with a couple of friends and wow is life all the more richer because they are in it.
It is touching when we respond to our innate, natural impulse.
The simplest things we can do to support each other are often the best. They are spontaneous and flow naturally. This is a lovely story of women together, looking out for each other.
It is with the consistency of offering support and this can be done in the simplest of ways for through the consistency women and men begin to let go and open up to what is truly on offer.
A beautiful example of the “abundance of love” that is available to us in every moment, if we are open to it. But so often we think we have to do it all on our own, that it is weak to ask or even accept support, support that was willingly accepted in this beautiful moment in time. What a wonderful lesson for all involved as to the power of love.
So beautifully expressed Ingrid – it is a lesson for us all to surrender to the power of love no matter what is happening around us.
Fragility can never be a weakness it is always an opportunity to stand open and transparent with the knowing you belong to the all.