The Women we ARE

Reading about other women’s experiences has helped me to learn about how women can support each other. This level of awareness has offered me the opportunity to appreciate the simplest of ways we as women can be there for each other. Recently, I witnessed such appreciation on a most practical level.

I was sitting in the waiting room of a Medical Centre on a Saturday afternoon filled with many ill patients waiting their turn to be seen by the doctors. I noticed that most of the patients were women sitting with their sick children for hours, way before I had arrived. The children looked tired and exhausted and the mothers were doing their best to support them as they waited patiently to be seen by the next available doctor. There was an urgency in the eyes of the various women and a sense of relief when their names were called out from the front desk.

I observed mothers with two, three and four children lining the reception room. As the hours passed the children became restless. For some, their newborns were hungry, or ready for their sleep time. One mother was feeling overwhelmed and doing her best to support her twins who were unsettled, and as she tried to feed her toddler, she was called in to see the doctor.

What took place within seconds was a humbling experience to watch. Women of all ages surrounded her providing instant support. Two elderly women carried a child each and another supported her to feed the little toddler. They encouraged her to take this opportunity to go into the doctor’s surgery and get seen, and that they would look after the children. In unison, they reassured her that the children would be okay.

This woman stood shocked and began crying not only from the overwhelm, but the depth of love that was offered to her by other women that seemed to be strangers, yet in this moment of need, felt like family. Knowing that others were caring for her in a time of need, the woman could let go of protecting her children and fearing what could happen.

Within seconds I started to feel teary, not in a sad way, but in a humbled appreciation of all the women that went to assist this mother in need. I felt a deep respect for those women as they carried on caring for the children and chatted quietly amongst themselves. In the past I would have sprung into action and gone into fixing the situation. On that day, I was given an opportunity to stand back and appreciate these incredible women and the quality of care they gave to one another with the simplest of ways and with such ease.

Women Children and Support

The conversation was minimal yet the level of support was maximum!

Sitting and appreciating this moment I pondered on how this experience was rare and unusual in our current world. There is an underlying expectation that mothers need to ‘just get on with life.’ If we are run down or needing medical support we often don’t feel comfortable asking for help, and feel that we ‘should’ be able to cope with these situations. It is often these ideas and beliefs that we carry and guard ourselves with when we head out into the world and put on a brave face for all to see. With that expectation of ourselves, we don’t allow the support from others, even when we could really do with it. We then all miss out: if we’re all pretending we’ve got it sorted, and not allowing ourselves to be fragile, vulnerable and human, there’s a disconnect from ourselves and from other women.

This woman allowed herself to trust these elderly women, and their genuine offer of care, free from any judgment or expectations. She surrendered to the possibility that fragility was not a weakness but an opportunity to be provided with the support from others without an ounce of hesitation. An abundance of love offered so that there was space for this woman to reconnect to herself and be provided with the quality of care she needed to continue to support her family.

This level of support came from the appreciation and confirmation I witnessed on that day of the WOMEN WE ARE.

By Anonymous, Australia

For further inspiration …

Can we be women first, before we are mothers? Read Sharon’s experience on getting lost in mothering – and how she found her way back to herself.

Mothering – the essence of true nurturing.

Esoteric Women’s Health – dedicated to bringing true wellbeing to women.


601 thoughts on “The Women we ARE

  1. In our current world and society, especially now in 2020 with the COVID-19 social isolation rules, we are getting to feel how much it really matters to have people support each other, to reach out and help each other in various ways. As women we hold a resilience in life, and a capacity to handle things ourselves, and yet when another reaches out to support, there is an instant feeling of connection and knowing that we are not alone and that it is not about soldiering on but being open to the support of those around us.

  2. Anon – thank you so much for your sharing. This was indeed beautiful to read, to realise that when we reach out to each other and offer true support, this ignites a feeling of community and confirming for us that raising our kids and all the other things in life are about team work and a community helping hand.

  3. It always amazes me how easily and readily people read and respond to one another. I love this story, as it shows so clearly what humanity is truly made of, as so often we have no idea of our readiness to respond in love and understanding until a situation like the in the blog is presented to us.

  4. When we are aware the flow of life knowing we are held in God’s love we can not help love and support one another. It is natural to us as it is to breathe.

    1. Spot on Anon – there is a natural part of us that seeks to be there with and for another when there is a true need – and this happens through our innate connection deep within.

  5. Forget chit chat – conversation can be very minimal but still so super supportive and meaningful – that is there is genuine love and care in the mix.

  6. “The conversation was minimal yet the level of support was maximum!” so much is expressed just by our movements and body language, as women always sense when if we are open and genuine or not.

  7. I love it when we come together like that, there is far to much bitchyness,competition and comparison in this world, when we do have moments like this we are reminded this is our natural way of being and anything else is abuse.

  8. This is a beautiful blog, isn’t it common that we’d think strangers and other people in general are out to get us. We keep a distance from others because we’re not certain of their intentions, parents have learned to not trust the strangers they meet and children are forbidden to talk to people who they do not know. All of the horrible things happening in the world are forever showing us that we can’t trust one another and that we should always be wary, but that is painful, it is sad. The depth of care and warmth we are all capable of and cary within our hearts is something very real and tangible. Every single one of us can connect to that & when we hold people in their imperfections, judge & criticise them, they find it even more difficult to connect to that so what we see often is the outplay of a reaction to our judgements & not the natural behaviour of those we are looking at.

  9. Today just for example I have had amazing connection with a couple of friends and wow is life all the more richer because they are in it.

  10. The simplest things we can do to support each other are often the best. They are spontaneous and flow naturally. This is a lovely story of women together, looking out for each other.

  11. It is with the consistency of offering support and this can be done in the simplest of ways for through the consistency women and men begin to let go and open up to what is truly on offer.

  12. Our society generally seems to have more fear of strangers today than a few decades ago, but when we look into the eyes of another, we can usually discern the quality of the person.

  13. A beautiful example of the “abundance of love” that is available to us in every moment, if we are open to it. But so often we think we have to do it all on our own, that it is weak to ask or even accept support, support that was willingly accepted in this beautiful moment in time. What a wonderful lesson for all involved as to the power of love.

    1. So beautifully expressed Ingrid – it is a lesson for us all to surrender to the power of love no matter what is happening around us.

  14. Fragility can never be a weakness it is always an opportunity to stand open and transparent with the knowing you belong to the all.

  15. There is much to be humbled by when we feel the natural harmony and interdependence we have in life with each other.

  16. We are so power-full when we work as a team. It is felt in our cells as a true and natural way to live and each time I feel it I too cry because I realise how much I have held back from being open to that level of support or looked for it in the wrong space and therefore felt like I was let down.

  17. Amazing the love we can offer each other if we put our ideals and beliefs aside and know that we can all bring support. This is so beautiful to read.

  18. I love this line “The conversation was minimal yet the level of support was maximum!” because when women come together in this way we can effortlessly support each other. Sometimes we can make things worse by chatting, and end up going round in circles and changing very little, but as you show with the a few words and the right action there is a sense of sisterhood and a true sense of community, something that is often lacking these days as we live much more intense lives than we did 50 years ago.

  19. Simply we we all born to care and look after one another, it is natural, it is at our very core a deep love and care for another. Unfortunately we are not brought up for these qualities to be nurtured and before long our hurts can block us from feeling this deep connection, your story above confirms that nurturing is our true natural way.

  20. What you love is this was not your usual crisis situation when people automatically show thier innate brotherhood. It was most definitely a difficult and stressful time for the mum but these are the times most of us look the other way or read an article in the magazine. That is what is so heart warming about this story is the impulse to support was from a real knowing of what it is to have young children and how a healing pair of hands is always appreciated.

  21. This is such an amazing and yet everyday story and your role was to observe and share it with others as a beautiful example of sisterhood when we get ourselves out of the way and allow the giving and receiving of support without judgement or agendas.

  22. I love this story it shows so much for me that we all know how to support each other innately. We see this time and again when we have disasters where strangers act as the brothers we truly are.

  23. The power of women, for women are more afraid of this power than men are. This strength freaks so many of us out that we don’t know what to do with ourselves so instead we play small, create issues and distractions, play dumb nad take a submissive role.

    1. You do make a very valid point Viktoria in saying that we as women do fear our own strength and power, and the sooner we come to terms with accepting this and embracing this power, then the sooner the games can end and our true way of living and supporting ourselves and others can come out for all to benefit.

  24. I love it when women come together in community, no blood line to true family, we can all be there for one another, simple.

    1. It is simple but rarely lived in our ‘advanced modern’ day lives, yet it is what we are all seeking. It starts with us making the first move not waiting for someone else.

      1. I agree, no waiting for anyone else, we want support and sisterhood, we need to live that from a place of self love first…we put the barriers up to connection and we can bring them down .. be open and others feel that.

  25. This warms my heart and is a beautiful confirmation that we are not to be here doing things all on our own and that we do genuinely want to care and support each other no matter what. So long as it doesn’t put us in any vulnerable or dangerous situation we can truly care for one another.

  26. We all know deep down that this is our natural way, yet the fact we do not live it causes a pain that we try to forget, yet its their, all the same, like a festering wound – the only way to heal it would be to step into the natural role we all have to love, support and cherish each other.

    1. Yes letting go of any pictures of how we should be and embracing our natural desire to be there for each other.

  27. Having true support is vital and so refreshing, the support we receive from those around us is what makes life sparkle.

  28. I have been very independent all my life, and never wanted to ask for support, now I’m learning to let go of this and ask for support, and I have found it very touching and beautiful how people are eager and willing to be there for one another.

  29. What a beautiful example of women coming together and supporting one another, very touching, I welcome the day when this is the norm in how we live ‘On that day, I was given an opportunity to stand back and appreciate these incredible women and the quality of care they gave to one another with the simplest of ways and with such ease.’

  30. ‘if we’re all pretending we’ve got it sorted, and not allowing ourselves to be fragile, vulnerable and human, there’s a disconnect from ourselves and from other women.’ You are calling out here the way we are used to live with or should I say without each other, doing everything on our own. What an amazing support is there the moment we let go of this idea of having to be a superwoman and start to live with honesty and love in our body, a relationship that will support all to be themselves equally.

  31. Support is so important for us all to feel, knowing we are not and cannot be alone in this world. This changes everything.

  32. How easy is it to forget that we are women, naturally sensitive, caring and delicate? How many of us have completely forgotten this? Through esoteric women’s health we have an amazing opportunity to reconnect and find out what that truly means for us.

  33. I attended Universal Medicine Livingness 101 yesterday via webcast and one thing I took away is how one of the number one things human beings crave/love the most is connection. We are designed to be connected to each other. And so often we live in such disconnection which often leaves us feeling overwhelmed. Here this simple blog about a simple everyday life event in a doctors waiting room, that shows us the power of connection.

  34. There is nothing more empowering than feeling the harmony between people when they naturally respond to what is needed in the moment. What seems so simple and natural is what true communities are made of.

  35. We are capable of so much more than we currently live, it is natural for us to be this nuturing and loving.

  36. When we stop comparing ourselves with each other we are able to see that we can offer each other so much support. We tend to think we can do everything for ourselves but as you witnessed Anonymous how simple and beautiful it is when we don’t judge and just respond to what is needed, no words are necessary, just a willingness to be there for each other.

  37. We do think we need to get on with life as women, battle through, with no sleep, with a stinking cold, with no support etc…why is it so that we do not offer ourselves love and care as we could, I am still working out why I would not love myself and care for myself to depth I feel I potentially could, and being a mother and all that brings is a great reference point and reflection.

  38. Those expectations we as woman have taken on to just get on with life and do what is needed to be done is what has got us to a place where our health statistics are getting worse by the day. We have put others and what we need to do before our connection with ourselves first. Stopping this age old pattern and actually say I’m Worth taking the time to be with and care for is what we can struggle with or feel guilty for. But the moment you realise that there is no other way and that this is key then things to change completely.

  39. This is a beautiful example of how touching it is for a woman to feel the love and support from another woman. This is something we can bring and live consistently everyday, as it awakens other women when we unite and embrace each other with love and tenderness.

  40. This is deeply moving and as you say in today’s world seems as if it is a far cry from happening. It is so true that we really do have that innate level of love and care for one another and we just need to surrender and let go to the brave faces that we have it all together. How deeply healing for everyone when we say yes to support either receiving or giving it and that it is about us together not trying to do it all on our own.

  41. The truth is that we innately know all that we are, the sacredness within each and every one of us is the divine marker of who we are and when we honor the impulses from our essence, we naturally live the qualities of love, sisterhood and brotherhood without question, and the power of what is possible when we are open to each other in this way is also lived as a natural flow.

  42. This is a beautiful example of what can happen when women support each other as we are naturally designed to do. The only problem with this picture for me is that the support came to a ‘mother’ rather than a woman. If the woman had no children and was having a hard time, would other women jump up to assist her? My feeling is ‘no’, so we still have a long way to go in supporting each other as women first before we support each other in our roles.

    1. Yes a powerful sharing – how often do we spoke to support another in fear or being judged or ridiculed when our bodies are naturally calling us to love and respond to another.

  43. A BBC Radio 4 interview called ‘ Black Girls Don’t Cry” about the social pressure that says black women must be seen as strong and independent has caused many of them to suffer from depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and panic attacks more than white women. The women interviewed found asking for help or being able to talk to others (men or women) most difficult until faced with crisis. And we must ask why this is. This blog shows the natural way of women is to support each other and that revealing our vulnerabilities is a strength.

    1. Absolutely Kehinde. Our ideals and beliefs are literally killing us as the many false versions of what ‘power’ is, is not producing empowered women as they do not represent who we are in essence. As you share, our true power lies in honoring and expressing our innate qualities of sacredness of which vulnerability is one, along with delicateness and tenderness all of which represents the love we are. Openly sharing ourselves with others is how we can support each other to deepen our honoring of the love we are as such to live the power of who we naturally are.

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