My Journey with my Periods – Discovering Cycles 

It has been nearly 7 years since my first period at the age of 13 and since then I have been on an amazing journey in my relationship with myself as a woman. During those years there were many changes taking place – it is generally known and accepted that puberty is a big time for teenagers as their physical body and hormones shift, but with the support of Esoteric Women’s Health and Universal Medicine practitioners, this time has been far more than a biological change for me – it has been an amazing journey where I have blossomed from a girl into a woman.

Rebecca - My Period Journey, Discovering Cycles

From almost my very first period, I suffered with extreme crippling pain and sickness. For the first few years my periods would be very heavy and would have me flat on my back in bed for several days, unable to stand, let alone go to school – I simply couldn’t function normally because of the pain I was in, and the sickness, shaking and fatigue that went along with the pain. Some months whilst screaming in agony, my mum seriously considered taking me to hospital to get some morphine to help with the pain.

I often worried what would happen if my periods never got any better and I wondered how so many women carried on their normal lives with painful periods. At the time, the only solution I was given by the doctors was to take the contraceptive pill – I wouldn’t be in any pain, but then again I also wouldn’t have periods. It might sound strange, but despite the pain and the sickness, I didn’t want to take medication to completely stop an innate and natural part of me being a woman – I wanted to find a way for my periods to be naturally less painful, and so I decided to seek some help from some of the women in my life. In particular, I decided to book myself in for some sessions with Natalie Benhayon, who is a practitioner that specialises in Esoteric Women’s Health.

Natalie is an amazingly wise young woman, and her support was very practical, sharing from her own experiences, not only as a young woman herself, but also from the hundreds of women she treats and supports on a daily basis in her work as a practitioner. Esoteric Women’s Health to me simply means reconnecting back to what it means to be and live as a woman from within me – not based on all the measures and pictures in life, but from a connection with myself.

Through her support, and the support of other practitioners, I began to look at and take responsibility for the way I was living on a daily basis as a woman – and in a nut shell what it showed me was that I wasn’t living as a woman, I was just walking around as a human, totally ignoring and overlooking the fact I have a woman’s body, and I am a woman first and foremost in all that I do.

When I look at some of the role models in my life of amazing women like Natalie Benhayon, I can see that in every way, from how they dress, do their hair, talk, walk or work they bring qualities to life of the woman they are.

It is not about what they looked like, but more the fact that how they live is with an awareness of and a connection to the fact that they are women.

How often does it simply become auto-pilot to wear makeup and do our hair? How often do we dress ourselves and choose clothes that make us feel amazing, and because we feel amazing we naturally look it? I can’t count the number of times I have painted my nails because it’s just another thing you do, and because I am not really taking any time or care I always rush and smudge the polish.

But did it go deeper than that?
Was there a part of me that was rejecting living as a woman in life?

I was at the point in my life where I was growing from a girl to a woman, and in me I could feel a lot of resistance to this transition – I wanted to stay the little girl, not responsible and not on the receiving end of all the attention, comparison and measuring I was already feeling in the world – measuring myself to other girls at school, to pictures in the media, feeling the eyes of men on me and the pressure to be in a relationship. I could feel I didn’t want to grow up and become the woman that I was seeing modelled by society and so there was an inner tug of war going on between the natural call and transition to being a woman and the part of me that was applying the brakes and not wanting to go there.

I realized that this way of living, so disconnected and resistant to myself as a woman and just ticking the boxes, was bound to have an effect – could it be the intense pain and sickness of my period was showing me a month lived disconnected to and fighting myself?

Could it be possible that my period was having to clear the build-up of tension and lack of care in my body from the month?

As I became more aware of the way I lived I decided to start to track my cycles and symptoms using a period diary app called Our Cycles. The very simple act of actually recording when my periods started and ended every month, which days were heavier and which were lighter and what days I got cramps or other symptoms, slowly built a very uncomplicated and practical connection with this aspect of myself as a woman. As the months passed and my awareness built I would know when my period was due from the way my body was feeling, because I had taken the time to feel and track the symptoms in my diary. No longer was I left wondering why I suddenly felt more tired than normal, or why I was really craving sugar out of nowhere, or why my breasts or lower back was sore. When I felt these things I could connect them back to where I was in my cycle, and see them as the symptom or end product of how I had been living up till that point.

What I discovered was that, over time, my periods got lighter, shorter and less painful – I could tell you one week before and the day before my period started that it was coming, based off this new found relationship with my body – it was amazing!

Through this very simple tool of keeping track of my cycle, I had developed the beginnings of a very practical relationship with myself as a woman and in doing that, it eased some of the tension in me around growing up and becoming a woman… but there was still far more to go.

For several years I lived with periods that were so far improved from the pain I had experienced before, that a little pain here and there didn’t worry me – I could take some painkillers and get through it, and occasionally if I had a bad period it would typically only be for the first day.

I then attended some presentations delivered by Natalie Benhayon, who presented something deeper for me and other women to consider … Natalie spoke about ovulation, and for me it was one of the first times I had heard it discussed outside sex ed. or biology.

Did I know when I ovulated? The answer was a complete no; in fact I didn’t even know what ovulating really looked like or felt like on a purely physical level.

Natalie shared about ovulation openly and honestly so that it totally demystified it and in the end I was actually able to say that I did experience symptoms of ovulating, I had just never known enough to connect the dots and know that was what was happening.

And so I implemented the same program as with my periods, a very simple recording every month of this other aspect of my cycle, just to purely learn what my body’s normal was, and then from several months’ observation I could begin to tell when it was different. I tentatively began to explore the relationship between the kind of ovulation I had, how aware of it I was, and the kind of period that followed. How did I live in the cycle of the month, that may have affected my physical cycle?

What I discovered was that no part of my life was separate or disconnected from any other part – the physical cycle of my body was not separate to the cycle of the month or the day and how I lived in those cycles – I couldn’t push hard and just get everything done, placing myself second in life and not feel the fact in my period.

As time passed I realised that becoming a woman is far more than a physical change – that is a part of it but I also feel I have grown into a woman on many other levels. It has taken time, and through my teenage years I have learnt a lot about what it means to me to be a woman and how I express – I have tried fitting in and matching the pressure of school or the media, I have pulled away and tried to be more masculine, going hard and pushing through but in the end, the foundation I had with me the whole time was a very simple but profound connection to myself and my cycle. Around me I had amazing reflections from women like Natalie, showing me it was possible to be a beautiful, powerful woman without having to toe the line and fit the picture.

For someone who started off their journey with their periods shaking and crying on the bathroom floor in utter agony, to have come so far where having deepened and developed my relationship with myself as a woman has lead me to not only have relatively painless and symptomless periods, but a point where I feel I can say that I know who I am as a woman is amazing.

Thanks to the support of Natalie Benhayon and other practitioners, puberty for me has not just been a biological process, or a struggle – it has been an unfoldment out from within me what was already there, and in that process I have healed my own physical symptoms in the way that I live.

I look forward to a life spent unfolding my relationship with myself and the world as a woman.

By Rebecca, UK

You may also Enjoy:

What is Our Cycles period diary?
Hear from Sara Harris on the phases of our menstrual cycles
What are periods really about?

454 thoughts on “My Journey with my Periods – Discovering Cycles 

  1. I think you nailed it when you said we can either approach our periods and our cycle as a biological function or an opportunity to explore who we are, the latter is a much richer and more fulfilling way to live.

  2. Rebecca you are now an inspiration and role model for many other young girls as they move into the beautiful young women they are.

  3. There is so much that comes when we grow from a girl to a woman. The energy, looks, comments and sometimes physical challenges that come our way as we develop is quite a challenging and without adequate support we can harden and resist the process in our body and our cycle.

  4. The pain and sickness that can be related to periods means we try to find a solution rather than look at the cause. The world seems to subscribe to that model as well which is so wrong because it makes it quick and simple rather than truly healing.

    1. Yes I know I always looked for the quick ‘fix’ Lucy, I didn’t want to look at the way I was running my body and the disconnection I was living in that was all making my periods so painful and difficult.

  5. “I look forward to a life spent unfolding my relationship with myself and the world as a woman” Rebecca it is super cool and inspiring you can say this.

    It is sad reality that not too many young ladies can claim this too. Something that should be all of our birth right is often lost in a sea of emotions that disconnect us from the true beauty we are.

  6. It is so awesome that despite the horrendous pain you chose not to go on the pill and have committed to getting to know your body and all that it is communicating to you and in sharing this journey you have given all other women an amazing resource to support them in starting to make different choices in support of their bodies.

  7. If we look within and around we will see there are so many women who are rejecting living as a woman in this life.
    When it comes to role models world wide we have very little when comes to a women living in her sacredness and knowing without doubt she is divine.
    Hence why Esoteric Womens health is so important – we are seeing more and more women stepping back into their power and claiming the beautiful women they are.

  8. Adjusting our way of living in response to the signs and symptoms our body is communicating to us we are able to live in a cycle that is forever deepening our relationship, awareness and self-nurturing way of being.

  9. “Could it be possible that my period was having to clear the build-up of tension and lack of care in my body from the month?” Yes absolutely! I know for certain my period is a way of clearing all the build up of negativity I have taken on throughout the month – when we have this understanding we can see periods as a time of deep healing and in truth celebration.

  10. Super inspiring blog Rebecca. I love how your awareness has deepened as you have committed over time to discovering what it is to live as a woman. A gorgeous time in life to begin in your natural process from a girl to a woman.

  11. Period pain is mostly regarded as ‘normal’ nowadays and it might be time to investigate whether it is natural and if not – what the pain or the clots and heavy flow tell us about the way we have lived and the take responsibility for the symptoms and find the answers, and not any solutions.

  12. Great that despite the crippling pain of your periods, you choose to not take medication and instead look at your lifestyle choices. Such wisdom and level of responsibility for one so young. Shows that we need not be ‘victims’ and if we listen to our bodies much healing can take place. Visiting the hospital recently with a friend, I witness much suffering around me, none of which is necessary if we just choose love for ourselves.

  13. I am developing a relationship with the moon cycle in my body as I am woman living post menopause. We live in more than one cycle and we can not separate one cycle from another. It is a work in progress for me and there is a lot to learn about my womanly body, the way I am with myself and how my cycle is part of how I choose to live.

    1. Ah, the moon cycle. I am living the moon cycle too Annelies and the more sensitive my body becomes the more I can support it during the cycle, with the food that I eat, my sleep patterns, everyday consistency with exercise and being gentle with myself, and above all, not dismissing what I know to be true.

  14. “it has been an unfoldment out from within me what was already there, and in that process I have healed my own physical symptoms in the way that I live.” I am finding more and more that we can use medicine to support, but unless we address the momentum and the patterns of the way we live, medicine has an uphill climb and is therefore can be used arrogantly by us to fix our problems and there is an abdication on our own part about our responsibility with our own healing.

    1. This is very true Lucy, I know people who are on long term medication, therefore cannot truly feel the consequences of their choices past and present. Makes me wonder what would happen if we took the medication away…

      1. I reckon there would be a tumbleweed moment and then a level of honesty which we would bring us to a standstill till we learned to move in a way that did not cause such tension in the body.

  15. It is an extraordinary turnaround that you describe here, and it clearly took time and dedication. These are not overnight healings, they are re-discoveries that take a dedication to ourselves and I feel that is what brings about the lasting change. We cannot ‘bluff’ our own bodies.

  16. Wow wouldn’t it be amazing to have Our Cycles explained in schools and the app shared with young adults as they go into puberty. What an absolutely amazing support this would be.

  17. I love the quality that Natalie reflects and the way she cares for and holds herself, it is very inspiring and has supported many to look at and makes changes for themselves.

  18. Amazing to feel the impact of our cycles on ourselves and others, my husband is very much impacted by my cycles too, my period is a time not just for my clearing and healing but also for his too.

  19. I can feel my period coming, I am due on in a couple of days. I have learnt to honour this time and really appreciate what my body is preparing for.
    What an amazing gift it is to have cycles.

  20. I can so so relate Rebecca, I had many months rolling around the floor in complete agony wondering what I had done wrong to deserve such a fate! Now I realise the way I had been living, the harsh, judgemental and critical voice I had with myself all added up and resulted in the pain I was having. The pain stoped when I committed to dealing with the root cause, getting to know my cycles and deepening my level of acceptance for myself were all key to changing this around to now feel super blessed to have a period each month.

  21. At the age of 41 I feel with the incredible support of Natalie Benhayon that I am truly learning and connecting to what all the cycles are showing me. That the more I feel and honour what I am feeling during the day things around me are supported. This is one that I am still working on and exploring but can say it is precious to have such a relationship. Thanks Natalie Benhayon for sharing your own lived process too!

  22. This is true empowerment “I have healed my own physical symptoms in the way that I live.” To care for our body to such a degree that they respond and heal. What you describe is simple and this is beautiful, it is clear that your consistency and observation has made a huge difference to your overall quality of life.

  23. I love the connection you hold to your periods, Rebecca. And how you are so aware of your cycles. I’d love to know more about how you were able to track your ovulation cycle. I have never really clocked these – I don’t really have an understanding of what ovulating feels like or when it happens. But as you say – it is such a huge part of an overall cycle.

  24. How awesome it is as women to have access to a wisdom that stays with us for our lives and that we can continue to grow, nurture and explore through our movements and bodies constantly if we so choose. Thank you for the inspiration Rebecca, simply lovely to read and appreciate from my body and my movements too.

  25. To think we have all sorts of pills and drugs now and in the future, that could have taken all your “pain” away and if it had of opted for them, you may not have looked into the deeper reason that your body was showing you these symptoms. It is so great really that you were being communicated to in such a strong way, that it made you stop and listen. Some women do not discover this their whole lives and you are leading the way discovering it so young.

  26. What a beautiful time of our lives when we stop and truly consider what is being presented to us by the way of our cycle in our own bodies and how this is all connected the all the other cycles in the Universe. I have only really just discovered the power of multi-dimensional layers we are apart of yet it all comes down to the simplicity of our Love for and with ourselves and honouring what we feel all of the time.

    1. True Natalie, we are connected to the cycles of the Universe and exploring the connection with these cycles is nothing more than connecting with our own body and surrender to what our body is presenting each moment. It gives me the opportunity to let go of the investments in human life and experience space in my body and in my day when I am honouring what I feel.

  27. “For someone who started off their journey with their periods shaking and crying on the bathroom floor in utter agony, to have come so far where having deepened and developed my relationship with myself as a woman has lead me to not only have relatively painless and symptomless periods, but a point where I feel I can say that I know who I am as a woman is amazing.” truly amazing. Discovering the woman we really are – an awesome journey back to love.

  28. Life is all about cycles, every day, every week, every month and year. It is all related to how we live our life on a daily basis and reflected back to us by our body.’

  29. Beautiful to read what you shared about role models like Natalie, Simone, Deborah and Miranda: ‘It is not about what they looked like, but more the fact that how they live is with an awareness of and a connection to the fact that they are women.’
    The total acceptance of being in a female body and reflecting sacredness to the world is what makes these women true role models for me.

  30. Beautiful to read how you listened to the wisdom we all have inside our body and because of that didn’t want to take any medication that would stop completely an innate and natural part of me being a woman.

  31. Love what you share Rebecca our cycles are so powerful, what a waste it is that many of us can live most of our lives not connecting to this rich inner wisdom.

  32. This is an invaluable piece you have shared about your journey with your periods since their onset. I say invaluable because the wisdom you have shared here is much needed in our world, so that other women and men may come to know the true meaning and purpose of a women’s menstrual cycle.

  33. My periods are a clear indication of how I have been living. They always have been though I tried to completely ignore their very, very obvious messages of being absent for a very long time or painful. I have missed using this app but have felt to return to using it as it’s my conversation with me each day, something I can feel I can do from a place of observation and not judgement – looking at how I have taken on things that have affected my rhythm that are not my natural rhythm. Open to discovering what is my rhythm each day?

  34. I too have found so much joy and wisdom by simply taking the time to observe my body in my day to day life and write in my journal how I felt on a day to day basis. Having this open dialogue with my body I have found a deeper awareness of my whole cycle and how every movement then gives us the opportunity to learn and observe more and more about our rhythms and how we either work with them or against them. Our female bodies really are amazing.

  35. We think that by pampering ourselves we feel better and initially sometimes we do but this way of being is short lived. Unless we are in connection to ourselves as a woman in truth whatever we’re going to do is not going to support us as it is done coming from the mind. Connection to the body first is vital and then we know what is needed to support us in any given moment.

  36. I was very disconnected to my cycles as I was growing up, I got my period each month and that was it, I didn’t really look or feel into it much deeper than that. But I have a different understanding now, one that is very different from the view I used to have.

  37. I was remembering my first feelings of my first period today and I recalled this feeling of warmth and joy bubbling up, in felt like something amazing was happening….the perception in everyday life was however, that periods where messy, smelly and leaks where terrifying, and then as I grow older, they became very painful, I am returning to that place of joy and appreciation, warmth and yes it is bubbling once again! Self-Care and Observation are the keys to a return of a more harmonious and supportive way life.

  38. Fantastic to share, a beautiful blossoming relationship with cycles in life, it is something that I have come back to after being separate from what my body was doing for years. Being aware, reading the body and understanding how my choices impact on my life has been a pure blessing.

  39. Amazing journey of self-discovery. We can learn so much by observing our bodies and building a relationship with what we feel, so that it’s not a good or a bad thing, not a judgement or criticism, but just a reflection of where we have been placing ourselves in our lives, and how we have been living as a result.

  40. It is so great that these teachings become available for all young women. It is a huge support to get to know our own female body..
    And it is very needed too if you look to the illness rates.

  41. This is so lovely read “…this time has been far more than a biological change for me – it has been an amazing journey where I have blossomed from a girl into a woman” A young woman claiming her path into womanhood with joy and appreciation. There are so many pressures and misrepresentations in life concerning women and their cycles and what our purpose is that many girls feel very overwhelmed and unsure. This is not the case here, there is a celebration of womanhood and that feels great.

  42. Learning to be in tune with our cycles is one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves. Through the Our Cycles app I am learning so much about myself.

  43. “What I discovered was that no part of my life was separate or disconnected from any other part – the physical cycle of my body was not separate to the cycle of the month or the day and how I lived in those cycles – I couldn’t push hard and just get everything done, placing myself second in life and not feel the fact in my period.” It makes total sense that the way we are with ourselves would be reflected in the quality of our periods, yet before Universal Medicine I lived in such disconnection with my body that I just saw my period as a burden that i had to live with. I now understand that our bodies are constantly offering us opportunities to support a naturally loving & honouring way to be with ourselves.

  44. It is extraordinary that when choosing to take responsibility and look at how and why you were choosing to not live the amazing woman you are, that you exposed the disconnection and ultimately healed your resistance and as such have not only reversed your issues but are able to truly embody being a woman for yourself and the world to enjoy.

  45. Imagine if every parent who sees their daughter with crippling period pain, not only took her to seek medical support but talked with her about how she was living and treating her body. I suspect there would be a lot less women’s health issues if we were brought up this way, to actually celebrate and adjust our way in response to the symptoms in our bodies.

  46. When I was a teenager I had nothing like your period pains, just an overall feeling of being miserable which cast a shadow on everything I did and life was just a general struggle but no severe feedback from my body that I needed to live differently.

  47. Reading this got me wondering about the symptoms my body gives me. Often I’ve only related it to my immediate choices (eat wrong food = tummy ache etc) but what if where I am in my cycle has a part to play? Something to explore here. Thank you.

  48. My period always used to a thing that I found to be a nuisance but when I have my period today I absolutely love it. Even if there are things that are uncomfortable about it, I am learning to appreciate what my periods are telling me. How the way I live the cycle of my period is going to determine how it will transpire. So we do have a lot of power even thou we don’t think we do, interesting isn’t it.

  49. ‘It is not about what they looked like, but more the fact that how they live is with an awareness of and a connection to the fact that they are women.’ How often we go about our lives disconnected from ourselves so the way we live becomes purely functional. When I get lost in life, I start to feel hardened and loose the joy of who I am and the lovely qualities I bring as a woman first and foremost.

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