Accepting and Expressing Greatness — A Story About Shoes

Since childhood I have had an issue with my feet.

They always looked too big to me and my toes seemed too long, out of proportion as to how I judged beauty to be. As an Asian woman, I grew up holding onto the image that beauty is being soft spoken, never drawing attention to oneself and about having tiny and delicate feet, as most of the women that I grew up with had small feet, and I would compare myself with them. I would deliberately buy shoes that were a little bit too small, convinced that my feet should and could fit into them. In consequence, my feet would suffer but there were always justifications for doing this, such as in time the shoes would either ‘magically’ stretch, or that my feet were actually as I believed them to be, smaller and more delicate than they are.

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A Woman’s Choice: To Become a Mother, or Not

I grew up with one older brother and three younger ones. There’s quite a difference in age between us. There are fifteen, nine and eight year’s age difference between myself and my three younger brothers. 

No one asked me, nor was it expected of me, that I take on the role as ‘a second mother’ to my younger brothers, but that’s exactly what I did. I would take responsibility for them and how they felt. I used a lot of mental energy worrying about them, and also being there for them and doing things with them. At times I would even yell at them and put them into place and really acted out the ‘mothering-role’ as a teenager.

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Discovering I have Ovaries and a Cervix

I first contemplated the possibility that I could have a connection with my own ovaries and cervix after I heard Natalie Benhayon present, and say as women we did not have to try to feel our ovaries, as we were women and we all have them!

So I started exploring if I could feel my ovaries. Initially, I began with just having a sense of where my ovaries were physically, putting my palms on them and just paying attention to the area. I did this five or six times a day for a couple of weeks.
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