The True Beauty of Pregnancy – Embracing the Stillness of a Woman

Pregnancy is a time of new beginnings and not just because there is a new person growing and developing inside. The true beauty of pregnancy is that it offers the opportunity for a deep change to take place in the way we live as women. A change that is initiated from deep within and supported by all that is offered during pregnancy.

Pregnancy is a time for us, as women, to experience ourselves more deeply as the delicate, sensitive and nurturing women we naturally are.

I have had the opportunity to be pregnant twice and from these pregnancies I now have two amazing daughters. Each time I learnt a profound amount about how I was living as a woman leading up to each pregnancy and the changes that were needed as each one progressed.

Robyn Jones
Robyn Jones

In each trimester, of both my pregnancies, I was presented with a particular theme and within each theme there was much to be seen and felt. The themes were all connected to the same purpose – to support me to unfold back to the beautiful Woman I Am. Each theme built on the one before and prepared me for the next. Working hand in hand, they guided me to uncover and shake off the ways I had been living that did not support me to be the Woman I Am naturally.

With my most recent pregnancy I was aware that by becoming pregnant I was signing up to (at least) a nine month, in house, healing program. Little did I know how much healing would unfold!!

Letting go of Perfection in Pregnancy

In the first trimester I could feel my body was supporting me to slow down and take stock of how I was living as a woman, directing me to look at ways in which I was living in too much motion. Which makes sense as one of the deeply inspiring qualities of a woman is Stillness – the ability to be internally still while the world whirls all around outside, allowing us to not be affected by any of it and so giving us an enormous amount of space to support others.

Stillness was a quality that I needed to accept more of into my body and my life. This became evident by the onset of morning sickness at 5-6 weeks. While experiencing morning sickness I was unable to just keep carrying on. My body was sending me a message. STOP!

At this time what was revealed was the drive I had to make everything ‘perfect’ in order to be seen to be doing OK, rather than just truly being OK. As I allowed myself to feel this exhausting pattern of trying to get it right, I discovered my obsession with perfection was there to keep me ‘safe’ from being criticised and judged by others, because when I felt criticised or judged, it deeply hurt, so the theory was that if I was ‘perfect’ there would be nothing to be criticised or judged negatively for. Right?… Nooooo!

Exploring what ‘perfection’ was really about I realised that it was a completely unattainable thing, as everyone has their own individual ‘imperfections’. These differences are what bring us together because what each of us has is needed to complete the whole. No one person has it all. So my quest for ‘perfection’ was absolutely pointless.

Having now seen all this I was left with feeling exposed and ‘unprotected’ without this behavior. I could feel a tension in my body, a bracing of my body, a holding, and an anxiety especially in my pelvic/hip area. The energy I was noticing and connecting to felt very controlled. I was holding my body tight and in a certain way. Even the way I walked my body felt rigid, deliberate, not fluid but controlled.

Letting go of Control in Pregnancy

With the onset of my 2nd trimester I realised that my need to control gave me a false sense of ‘protecting’ myself (again!). If I controlled myself and those around me, and my environment, I would reduce the risk of being hurt, I had some sense of predictability which gave me the possibility of feeling ‘safe’. It was my way to avoid feeling vulnerable.

As I gradually let go of the need to control and got used to feeling more vulnerable and open, I could feel that less control meant:

  • More connection with myself
  • A more natural flow with life
  • Feeling my vulnerability and natural tenderness.

Because without the hardness and rigidity to be in control, there was room for me to just be ME and I was discovering that underneath all these behaviours I was naturally tender and delicate inside.

Robyn Blooming
Robyn Blooming

The True Beauty of Pregnancy

Pregnancy has offered me a way to embrace my natural tenderness and delicateness through feeling vulnerable. It has also supported me to live this in my everyday life, by uncovering the ways in which I had been overshadowing these qualities with the quest for perfection and the need to control.

There is so much on offer to us as women throughout pregnancy. We are given the opportunity to feel the innate qualities we have as women. This is the true beauty of pregnancy. To return to the delicate, sensitive and nurturing women we naturally are.

By Robyn Jones, 40, Married with two gorgeous children, Counsellor, Baker, Blossoming Woman, B.Sc. (Psych), Northern Rivers, NSW, Australia

You may also like to read about how Robyn’s third trimester went in My Third Trimester of Pregnancy & Giving Birth – Surrendering to Being Vulnerable as a Woman

And hear Adrienne talk about tenderness and it’s remarkable ways

Or listen to a free audio of the Gentle Breath meditation, a tool to support you to connect to the stillness in you.

827 thoughts on “The True Beauty of Pregnancy – Embracing the Stillness of a Woman

  1. There is so much for us to uncover in regards to pregnancy and giving birth – I love reading these experiences and speaking with women who have done it differently for I know that if it were to happen with me one day, I would like to too do it differently – in a way that my body and the body growing inside of me are honoured.

  2. There is so much to learn from life, all of the phases we go through have a lesson which is worth uncovering – looking into and pondering on. As a teenager we learn much about the way the world works, we are in school but we also leave school and tap our toes into adulthood – into the responsibility of maybe getting a job and; seeing into the world of those who raised us. As we enter our twenties we become more familiar with that world, we learn to stand on our own two feet, no crutches by mum and dad, Life is a book full of lessons, we just have to learn to read.

  3. The simplicity in life is to live true to self however the need to get it right to not be criticised or judged is a big one to let go of. What I am working with at the moment is commitment to self in every moment and to deeply appreciate. The key for me is in the appreciation for self.

  4. Robyn, what a beautiful deepening of understanding of yourself that you came to when you were pregnant. It is a time when we can feel so much more awareness of ourselves as delicate and beautiful women if we allow ourselves to go there.

  5. A beautiful sharing Robyn, I love what is presented here, we all have an opportunity to choose to connect to the stillness within our essence and our innate delicate and tender qualities when we deepen our relationship with our body and express from a true quality of connection.

  6. It is sad that in our constant quest for perfection and control we lose our innate connection with ourselves as women so the gift offered by pregnancy is an opportunity to reconnect and explore our relationship with ourselves and our tenderness as well as the wonders of the growing life within us.

  7. “Pregnancy is a time for us, as women, to experience ourselves more deeply as the delicate, sensitive and nurturing women we naturally are.” This is a lesson in life and not just for pregnancy.

  8. for so many of us the idea that we are naturally tender and delicate can be difficult to comprehend because of the toughness and harshness we live with in our lives. if in every day we carry heavy bags, race with cars on our bikes in a rush to get to work on time, and then compete with everyone around us at work, how could we possibly know that delicacy that resides within?

  9. Robyn I love all that you share in this blog and one thing that i kept coming back to is “one of the deeply inspiring qualities of a woman is Stillness” – in this connection everything else just is, everything that we have been lead to believe we should do or be perfect in simply is debased.

  10. There is so much on offer for us when we are pregnant, ‘Pregnancy has offered me a way to embrace my natural tenderness and delicateness through feeling vulnerable’.

  11. Pregnancy is a great opportunity to connect to our delicateness and vulnerability and as you have shown Robyn things like control and being hard get highlighted because we naturally begin to take a little more care of our body.

  12. What a gorgeous opportunity we are given to increase our awareness and connection when pregnant, ‘Pregnancy is a time for us, as women, to experience ourselves more deeply as the delicate, sensitive and nurturing women we naturally are.’

  13. These are conversations we could be having more of as women and mothers, to support each other, instead of pretending with each other or talking about how ‘bad’ we think we are. At any time throughout our lives we can stop and understand ourselves more deeply, drop the control and perfection and feel the beauty and power in being vulnerable.

    1. Yes these are really important conversations not just for women but for humanity as the more women reconnect to their innate sacredness the more their reflections will support all to return to stillness.

  14. There is a still pulse within me that is becoming more alive after reading your experience Robyn. Even I’m not pregnant I can feel clearly the absolut tenderness and delicate nature that we as women come from. There is a huge difference between the grand stillness that lies inside of us and what we have made with that living from the outside reaching constantly for perfection. Thanks for sharing such an inspiring testimonial.

  15. The depth of stillness and connection a woman feels when pregnant; with herself, her baby and the greater all we are a part of, can become a marker by which to live her life forward of this point if she has not already done so up to here. Often when the child is born and this connection is not steadily maintained, a loss is experienced and thus a condition we refer to as ‘post natal depression’ arises. The ‘loss’ is simply a disconnection from that which during pregnancy she was connecting to, this simply being her innate sacredness – her natural ability to express divinity through earthly form. This sacredness is not reserved for the pregnant woman only, but available in equal measure to all women and carried deep within their womb.

  16. When we do honour the true beauty of pregnancy and he delicate, sensitive woman we naturally are then absolutely everyone arounds us benefits including our unborn little one who is of course registering everything.

  17. I’m pregnant for the first time and I’ve already noticed that my awareness is through the roof. It really helps to see pregnancy for the incredible opportunity that it is.

  18. “Pregnancy is a time for us, as women, to experience ourselves more deeply as the delicate, sensitive and nurturing women we naturally are.” I agree. I so enjoyed being pregnant. The natural hormones and the allowing of the beauty of me back then is something I have never forgotten. However it doesn’t have to remain as something we feel only in pregnancy. Returning to out natural sacredness and stillness as women can be felt by any women of any age. What do we tend to choose in its stead?

    1. Reading and reminding myself of everything that pregnancy offers could make me wish at one level that I was pregnant again, its a good job I had my menopause over 20 years ago.

  19. It is interesting to look what drives me in life as I can feel that it is there regularly. But because it is such a common way for me to live my life as such, it’s hard to understand that there is also another way to be with myself and live life. A life lived from stillness that brings the connection with the natural divinity we all equally carry within and will cause no drive in me whatsoever.

  20. Whilst pregnancy is a natural cycle that calls a woman to be with her body, one does not need to be pregnant to iniate the choice to be present, and in and with ones body. There are many women who choose to not carry a child, in this, no one is exempt from personal choice, we all innately know our qualities, the way we really want to live and can choose to live with this being our guide at any moment in our life.

  21. I especially like the part you mentioned control. I feel controlled by people who feels control will protect them but the truth is there is nothing we can control and in attempting it we are protecting ourselves from feeling and dealing life.

  22. There is something precious about the quality of stillness that a woman can bring. And stillness here not being a lack of movement, but rather an emanation of the being.

    1. As women we can find it difficult to connect to the stillness within us as the simplicity is so great and asks us to embrace who we already are. Thank you Shami for offering us such great examples of how you have embraced stillness from within.

  23. I certainly can relate to letting go and surrendering to stillness in pregnancy. I am in my first trimester at the moment, and we know we are having a boy – and interestingly, I am being called to be much more still in my body than I was when pregnant with my daughter. It breaks the stereotypes and allows me to deeply appreciate that each person is so different.

  24. Stillness – “the ability to be internally still while the world whirls all around outside, allowing us to not be affected by any of it” Amazing Robyn – this is what true healing and nurturing is all about, when a women stands in this quality she bring the power and magic of the universe.

    1. Stillness is an internal expansion that can be felt far and wide. We’re all so much bigger than the narrowed down human beings that we pretend to be. We reduce ourselves as a matter of course but the great thing is that expansion is forever at hand.

  25. What a beautiful lesson pregnancy is – a way of communicating with us so deeply and asking us to surrender. Thank you for sharing your learnings and experience here – it is so supportive for women to simply explore how there bodies are in this time

    1. Yes HM, pregnant women do present us with an other quality of life, more connected to the stillness and divinity we are all from and therefore also know so well.

  26. This was very beautiful to read how pregnancy is an opportunity to develop and deepen one’s connection with one’s self as a woman. i can totally relate to the perfection, the control, the holding on, as a way of protection from judgment or criticism. and yes, it doesn’t work – we still get criticised and judged, and it still hurts! The only thing that works is developing a connection with ourselves, with our innate and deep stillness within, and living from there. Without this foundation of steadiness, we’re forever at the mercy of what others think of us, and that is a very unsettling, stormy sea to be sailing upon.

  27. There is something very beautiful to observe and feel when pregnant women are honouring the preciousness of themselves and the baby they are carrying.

  28. What a miracle pregnancy is, not only does it deliver a baby it gives the mother a clear road map to let go of old ways of living that have not truly supported her.

    1. Very true. During pregnancy women are prepared for huge changes in many ways and if this is embraced rather than resisted joy will unfold no matter what twists and turns are encountered on the way.

  29. The biggest step we as women must take to surrender to our stillness And sacredness is letting go control. Not knowing how it all will be but surrender to the unknown.

  30. “Pregnancy is a time for us, as women, to experience ourselves more deeply as the delicate, sensitive and nurturing women we naturally are.” This is such an important realisation to share with all women rather than all the focus being on the unborn child.

  31. Robyn, the photo of you connecting an supporting your unborn baby is super gorgeous as it reflects a deep connection, delicateness, fragility and tenderness.

  32. What a great opportunity pregnancy offers to look at our lives and see what is supportive and what is not, many mothers to be can often override the stillness that is in their body causing more problems for their themselves and their own born child, It makes sense that by ignoring this stillness during pregnancy that postnatal depression is more likely to happen.

    1. My sister commented recently that I seemed to be so much more ‘there’ compared to how I used to be and it’s true because before I used to be constantly trying to control things, either getting people to do what I wanted or trying to get people to not do what I wanted them to not do but basically constantly trying to control my environment and so yeah, sure I wasn’t really ever there because I was always trying to control what was ahead of me rather than simply surrendering to what was happening at the time and just letting people be wherever and whoever they were in that particular moment.

  33. Chasing the illusion of perfection is so debilitating and can never protect us from being presented with the life lessons that we need to evolve. Letting go of the tentacles of perfectionism and embracing stillness have supported me to explore more of my relationship with me and tune out the many mind games sent to trip me up if I allow it.

  34. Thank you Robyn this Perfection thing needs to be exposed as the unattainable illusion it is. So so much time and energy is wasted on chasing perfection, far better to just be ourselves and marvel at the wonder of that.

  35. The vulnerability is what I totally surrendered to when I was pregnant. I totally felt this in my body – to deeply rest and repose and honour that.

  36. I have never been pregnant but through reading your blog Robyn it feels to me that this it is a time for a woman to deeply honour herself and all the changes that are occurring within her. The world would be a very different place if all women were like this all of the time, not just when carrying a baby.

  37. I loved being pregnant . . . I needed to as I was pregnant a lot! It can be time of great stillness and self nurturing if you allow your body to dictate your movements.

  38. What a great opportunity to really develop that relationship with yourself, the little ones we carry get huge benefits from a mum in connection and honouring of how she feels.

  39. I love the way you saw your pregnancy as a deepening of your own awareness around being a woman and the stillness this offers. I can see how each pregnancy had it’s own theme and keeping this as the focus supports you to go deeper not just with the connection with your unborn child but with yourself as well. I feel many women do this but are unaware of it as they radiate an inner beauty and stillness when they are pregnant if they don’t get caught up in too much motion and trying to do too many things.

  40. So gorgeous Robyn, that in pregnancy you saw it as an opportunity to deepen and develop yourself and not only your children, because it’s an intensive 9 month healing program for your body as well as theirs!

  41. As women we can do what ever we can to avoid our stillness and our delicateness we can literally run from it, hide from it yet this level tenderness is always there we just need to connect to it. As you have shared Nicole pregnancy brings us back to the body so we can not but help to feel these qualities in ourselves, alive and still very much there.

  42. As women our natural way is stillness, yet for many of us we have been running away from this deeper level of living from an early age. Our bodies offer such an amazing way to return to this stillness and the divinity within. Whether it is through our periods, our cycle with the moon or pregnancy, our bodies when listened to will always be the compass to bring us home.

  43. Pregnancy is such a special time in a woman’s life and offers an opportunity to make changes in lifestyle. Women stop smoking, often eat more nourishing food and, listening to their bodies, rest and care more deeply for themselves. However, does this nurturing care continue after the birth of their baby? This nurturing then transfers to caring for their baby, but with the baby-led demands, making the time for the woman they are often vanishes, never to return. Yet if as women we don’t love and care for ourselves, can we truly love and care for another?

    1. I can see that there is a possibility here to deepen our relationships with ourselves and, in that, our baby. This then could set a foundation for an ever deepening relationship from that time on as we honour ourselves and the being that we are bringing into the world.

  44. You’ve asked some huge questions Robyn; could pregnancy and birth be more than just a process to look after and deliver a baby, but actually a period where the mother herself can learn loads about her body, nurturing and tenderness?

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