Being A Delicate Woman – Is My True Strength

Whilst swimming in the pool I observed a young girl injure herself whilst playing, albeit only slightly, yet the response from the adults around her was to immediately suggest she ‘get over it’, ‘harden up’ or ‘laugh it off’. And as I observed, it had me wondering…

Why don’t we allow ourselves as women to feel how delicate we truly are?

Have many of us not been taught from an early age that being girly or delicate means that we’re just not strong or tough enough to be out there in the world?

And with this, it makes me also wonder, who honestly does want to be out there in the world feeling like a brick wall, the reverse of delicate, when you’re a person with great sensitivity, and not the emotional kind, deep within?

To me it sounds like a lot of effort, and a tiring way to live! I once ‘tried my hardest’ (excuse the pun!) to live this way for most of my adult life so I know what it feels like. But what I didn’t realise was that the more I tried to hold myself in a way that didn’t show or honour my delicate and sensitive nature, the more I built up a brick wall around me which was actually keeping everyone else out. As a naturally loving and deeply tender woman living a way that felt so unnatural actually is what hurt(s) me the most.

What I have been able to feel recently is just how delicate I truly am, and that I’m still only scratching the surface of the depth of this innate quality.

With the support of Universal Medicine practitioners and in particular the Esoteric Breast Massage modality, I am discovering that it is not in my nature to have a tough bricked exterior, and that I just don’t want to have this any longer.

I am finding the more that I allow myself to feel my delicateness as a woman, in the many ways that I confirm this as my natural way – then the more awareness I have in my daily moments. For example, the way I gently touch my own skin feeling its texture, how I type on the computer, the way I walk, move, sit, or carry my shopping home. The way I hug, speak or look with depth into the eyes of another, holding a quality that is accepting of my own delicateness and also theirs too.

I now hold a more true sense of what it actually means to be a woman with strength; feeling really powerful with my innate delicateness, which is something I’m really enjoying and loving as a foundational part of my womanhood. Gone are the days of viewing my own preciousness as a weakness because with my acceptance of what I feel is true within me, I have gained more awareness in my everyday life, which I greatly appreciate. And now I know that, being a delicate woman is my true strength – and also every other woman’s too.

By Cherise Holt, Nurse, 31, Australia,  

You may also enjoy:
Truly Deeply Beautiful, directed by Natalie Benhayon and The CO-CREATIVE.
The Woman by Shannon Everest
Discovering the Delicateness Within by Adrienne Hutchins

1,259 thoughts on “Being A Delicate Woman – Is My True Strength

  1. Yes, I can feel what you mean Cherise, being delicate is our true strength as women and although this is innate within us all, how many times do we receive the message that women can only survive in the world if they put on a tough exterior. I know that when I was young being sensitive was frowned on, so I ‘tried’ very ‘hard’ to conceal this feeling from the world in case I was derided. The result of this being that I now have many hurts to heal – how wonderful if children were now taught to honour their delicacy and sensitivity and allowed to feel the strength and empowerment of being true to themselves. With inspiration from women such as yourself the world is slowly changing.

    1. Unfortunately as a race we still need to understand that we travel around in cycles, we repeat behaviours and we accustom ourselves to the behaviours of our parents and others around us when we are small. Serving only to continue the holding back and retracted expression when children and continuing on into adulthood. Adults and children, everyone, needs to return to the fact that they are equal in divine nature and therefore equal in beauty and love so that the cycles and family trees begin to change.

  2. Thank you Cherise for a very beautiful and inspiring article, I am amazed through reading it, that I can feel the beautiful delicateness that is part of my being. Delicate is a word that I would never have applied to myself in the past, but I now know that it is a part of the true beauty of being a women.

    1. Correct Felix, there is a true equality about this statement as without a ‘lead’ to light the way down truths path there would be no one to do so and all would suffer the repeated cycles we have grown accustomed too. To lead the way so that all other men and women know their own strength and intimate selves is an honour and what true family is all about.

    1. Yes, being hard leaves us powerless to the onslaught of energetic exchanges that constantly occur and bombard us in our every single moment… There is nothing strong about being hard, it only serves to close us off from feeling that which we cannot help but feel anyway and keep us thinking we are unaware.

  3. Cherise the word delicateness has been redefined and its meaning expanded so beautifully in this blog, to bring forth its true qualities which include strength and truth, gentleness, harmony, clairsentience, vulnerability, tenderness, and above all the beauty of a woman in her grace and power.

    1. Absolutely Bernadette, all of these qualities and more! and when we truly embrace these as our strength and know it to be normal we inspire all others to make their own connections ~ confirming that men and women everywhere are truly precious and divine and nothing less.

  4. Wonderful Cherise that is an awesome blog. I was touched by following sentence: “I now hold a more true sense of what it actually means to be a woman with strength; feeling really powerful with my innate delicateness, which is something I’m really enjoying and loving as a foundational part of my womanhood.” I am also discovering this qualities more and more each day and it is a great joy to not hold it back or to withdraw from it. It is so much needed that we as women life our true sensitivity instead of hiding it.

    1. Holding ourselves in this warmth is the embrace of love that is always available to us, each time chosen serves as a marker of the love we not only deserve but actually are. True power is in our ability to allow this way of being to solidify and form a foundation in which we can walk through life knowing our own holding and true strength.

  5. Amazing what strength there is in delicacy, but it is not a strength that perhaps we may immediately expect, for example, recently I was in a challenging situation. I say challenging because although there was someone else involved, it was actually a challenge with myself to not go in to old patterns of hardening my body, becoming judgemental and reactive. So I removed myself from the situation and choose instead to allow myself to feel the hurt of what I had just experienced. From this I could feel how sensitive I was and I chose to accept this, not to shut it down or override my feelings. Then I could feel the delicacy in my body that was always there returning to my awareness. After giving myself the opportunity to feel all of this I was able to see the situation more clearly and in fact move my own issues out of the way, this allowed more understanding of the other person involved and when I returned to the situation we were able to come to a greater appreciation of each other – because I had taken the time and made the choice to accept the delicacy of my body and this confirmed who I am, so I did not need the drama of the situation to give me anything and when I brought this back, everything was easily resolved. This in turn provided a great learning opportunity for myself and the other person.

    1. What a great example Shami. Allowing our own sensitivities to be felt and then honoured is huge! Not because it is difficult to do, but because we live in a world where we so often shut them down or choose to not be aware of what we feel. Doing this gets us know where but further shut down and out from ourselves and each other and this is a real shame for humanity. What if when we feel how sensitive we are this actually gives us the strength to deal with anything that comes our way, to read and understand any situation and to allow the love and joy that is natural to us ~to just be~ no matter what.

  6. I am discovering through Sacred Movement sessions, a deeper connection to my delicateness and it is this marker of deep preciousness and sacredness and allowing myself to be vulnerable and surrendering to me that i take to my day.

  7. I have discovered this in myself too Cherise, through receiving treatments on an Esoteric Women’s Health program. I see that since childhood, I have developed a myriad of behaviours which effectively harden or numb me to feeling my sensitivity and my super delicate nature. Once I accessed this exquisite delicateness, I saw most of these behaviours all at once and had to wonder how masterful I have become at suppressing my awareness, thinking it was protecting me from being hurt, when truthfully it was keeping me locked in an unhappy fortress, separate from the magic and connection of life. Letting go of these behaviours has not been quite as quick, I find myself falling back into them and yet, not as much. Bit by bit they are dropping away as I honour my connection to myself, to the deepest part of me that now guides my choices and treating myself with care in my day. The strength, I now feel, is my connection to God and the capacity to read and understand life, my innate wisdom and knowing that I am now claiming.

    1. Absolute and beautiful Emmadanchin, what you share here is what so many women will relate to, that the patterns we have created to not be hurt actually hurt us more and keep us feeling separate from our innate wisdom and connection to God. Claiming, expressing, appreciating, accepting and valuing this connection that we not only hold but equally are here to naturally present to all others is a remarkable gift and responsibility to have.

    2. ‘keeping me locked in an unhappy fortress, separate from the magic and connection of life’. These words stuck out for me here Emma, as I feel this sums up exactly what the hardening and shutting ourselves off from our sensitivity does. When we shut it down, we shut everyone out at the same time. For me, reconnecting to my sensitivity and allowing myself to open up with those close to me, is also allowing me to start taking this out into more of my relationships. The more I go out, the more I realise the cocoon I have been in, but then I realise this must be first seen and felt in full as I open up to share my true self once again.

      1. Whilst we are redeveloping our relationship with ourselves, it feels like we can re-build trust in relationship with someone close to us, a partner or perhaps a friend, which teaches us new skills. Then this foundation holds us in making it our way with people.

  8. I love knowing that it is natural to be delicate. I am very small in stature and build and I have put myself down for this – feeling less and accepting (even encouraging) put downs from others about my physical weakness. All the while I have became tough and hard. My delicateness has been covered up under a layer of protection that doesn’t feel great at all. I appreciate the opportunity I have to connect to the truth about my delicateness and look forward to embracing it once more.

    1. Gorgeous sharing Leonne, from your fragile essence. I just pictured a small bird and a large elephant standing side by side and felt the symbology that just like all humans on this earth, despite our size our delicateness is immeasurably equal. What a confirmation it is yet again that body image does not make up nor dictate who we are and that being delicate has nothing to do with ones external frame and everything to do with the being that is housed inside. That being is the part of us as women that is aware of and reads everything that happens and from honouring this part of ourselves we have our true strength in action.

      1. Absolutely Cherise. I am only just beginning to feel how powerful it is to be delicate. I love the image of a delicate elephant too – I can feel that these creatures are in fact as delicate as a tiny bird. It is a great reminder of the truth of delicateness.

      2. Beautiful Leonne and Cherise. I can feel that it doesn’t matter our size or shape, delicateness is something innate in us all, and does not look like anything in particular.

  9. Very Beautiful Blog Cherise ! I too have been deeply inspierd by Serge Benhayon, I have found myself – a gorgeous young woman.. I love what you shared: I am discovering that it is not in my nature to have a tough bricked exterior, and that I just don’t want to have this any longer.
    I for long long time thought the same, no not anymore, I am now everyday letting go of more and more shields, everyday I discover more – that I am a truly precious woman.

    1. Gorgeous to feel and to claim Danna, I am claiming the absolutely beautiful and precious woman that I am too. Each and every day is an opportunity to confirm just how tender and loving we really are in our bodies and when we allow ourselves to be valued in this way we take this confirmation into everything we do.

      1. Well said Cherise hold – this is so true : ”When we allow ourselves to be valued in this way we take this confirmation into everything we do”. Absolutely beautiful truth.

  10. Cherise, this blog inspires me each time I read it. I have been learning so much lately about how powerful it is to really let myself feel everything that I am feeling, even and especially when it is something that hurts me. Staying open and expressing my feelings is teaching me a lot, so long as I am willing to see that what hurts me is my responsibility and not the other persons (even if it was their behaviour and not mine causing the hurt).

    1. I love this Anna, the other thing I have learnt is that we never stop feeling the hurts that take place and are deeply felt, ever. But what we can know is that we don’t have to hold onto them at all, in fact when we feel them and nominate as you’ve shared where they have come through or how they have come to be we can nominate and drop them quite simply. The key for me is in keeping my awareness on! reading the situation and honouring what I feel is true.

      1. Beautiful Cherise, thank you for sharing that it is just a choice to let go of our hurts once felt. Rather then harden, protect, judge, blame and as a result stop ourselves from fully loving and letting others in. Simple but something that takes practice.

      2. I feel like the simplicity does come with practise and not in the sense of getting it right or wrong sometimes but more deeply in the sense that this simplicity is actually who we are and confirms us. When we let go of that which is actually not real and reconnect to what is, simple is all that we know! and what a great marker we have to continue the refinement of our choices and our deepening self-acceptance from there.

  11. I use to be hard and proud of it, but via esoteric women’s health I have learnt to connect to myself as a woman and come to feel the delicateness of what it is to be a woman. Thank you Cherise for your blog.

  12. So true what you have just shared Cherise, The delicate of being a woman, this is our essence. When we forget this we are separated and then take on what else shell I do and I too took up hardness until there was a stop to that and in the reflection and stop trying the delicate and stillness returns. Thank you Cherise for your story.

  13. Being gentle, tender or delicate was not even a consideration whilst growing up and we were always encouraged to fight our own battles, sometimes literally – so to me that was considered normal and then when I had two girls I wanted them to be able to stand up for themselves and if they showed that they were too delicate or too sensitive, then it was my belief that they would be bullied for being perceived as weak.
    This is why it is important to have men and women break away from this old way of being and realise that it isn’t weak to be delicate and that yes, life can hurt at times, but we don’t have to pass on from generation to generation our fears.

  14. Reading the first paragraph about being encouraged to ‘harden up’ had me thinking about how much this happens to boys too. It seems that people do not want to see any vulnerability as it may remind them of their own previously squashed sensitivity. And some parents may be concerned that their boys need to learn to be a ‘man’ so that they’re not a target for other ‘tough’ boys or even just for the knocks that can occur in life.

  15. I can so much relate what you are sharing. In being constantly more delicate with myself brings a total different emanation in my body. It supports me to be more clear and dedicated.

  16. Cherise, I notice this with boys and girls, ‘How many of us not been taught from an early age that being girly or delicate means that we’re just not strong or tough enough to be out there in the world?’ I often observe this with young children that if they fall and hurt themselves often they are encouraged to get up, get on with it it – told that “your ok”, “your strong”, when clearly they are not ok, they are upset and in pain. I also know of young girls that were sent to rugby for toddlers to try and “toughen them up” because it was felt that they would be bullied or would not be ok if they grow up as sensitive as they are now. I can see how in society sensitivity is seen as a weakness not a strength.

  17. I felt really empowered the other day, when I connected to my fragility and delicateness. I found I was able to express a truth to someone, which could have been a challenge, but the words flowed during the conversation and I was able to hold steady with tenderness, openness and love. This was a great marker of what it felt like to express in full from the woman.

    1. Being empowered by delicateness and vulnerability is not something that I have considered until recently, but from my experiments with it, it seems that it is true. When I’m not leaping to my own defence or arguing that I’m right. it seems that my communication has far greater power.

  18. “Holding a quality that is accepting of my own delicateness and also theirs too.” Beautifully expressed Cherise, feeling my own delicateness was not something I related to in any way before attending Universal Medicine presentations let alone accepting it as a natural part of me. It is still with baby steps that I am allowing myself to surrender to this quality within me and feeling others do the same is very supportive and inspiring.

  19. Thank you Cherise. On re-reading this blog I am reflecting on how deeply sensitive and delicate I am and how because I have not been met by a tenderness I have lived most of my life in lots of protection and hardness in my body. Through the support of the Universal Medicine modalities and the consistent loving reflection from Serge and Natalie Benhayon I am learning to trust the world again and let go of “the brick wall”. I have come so far in letting go this protection and yes there is more openness and expression of the delicateness to allow out but today I am celebrating my willingness to go there and all that I have healed thus far that is supporting me to be the exquisitely delicate and sensitive woman I am out in the world.

  20. To introduce delicateness into our day, i have noticed there requires to be a certain level of presence and awareness… no checking out, but rather checking in with our body, and moving with this. This simple task, this first step, presents the ‘thin end of the wedge’ of the power of presence, the power of a woman in her essence, is very capable of bringing.

  21. I had this sense of delicateness and tenderness within me recently and I was somewhat overwhelmed by the magnitude of it, due I suspect largely to the fact that I have not allowed myself in the past to feel the depths of it “I am finding the more that I allow myself to feel my delicateness as a woman, in the many ways that I confirm this as my natural way.” It felt like coming home and yet I was shocked, because I recognised how ‘hard’ and ‘rough’ I have been with myself in the past. Delicateness for me even 5 years ago would have been used to describe babies,flowers and butterflies and yet now I have felt it within me and it feels true. I am learning to feel the power in it, as I learn to honour the delicateness that is naturally within me to express. If we open up to feeling everything that there is to feel and honouring that, we develop wisdom and awareness, and that is powerful.

  22. Delicate was not a quality i expressed growing up, in fact I did not know, see or feel this quality in other women until I started attending Universal Medicine presentations in my mid 30’s. That is a long time not to have lived and expressed from the true woman. It is with great joy that i am re-discovering these gems within as I give myself permission to feel how natural it is to once again be me – a delicate, beautiful woman.

    1. Delicateness was not a quality I saw in the women around me before I attended Universal Medicine presentations either. The women around me were strong and dependable, the backbone of the family. Delicateness is a quality I too am re-discovering – I am seeing it reflected in many women around me now and that is very inspiring.

  23. “Why don’t we allow ourselves as women to feel how delicate we truly are?” I used to equate my strength with ‘success’, if I was successful (in whatever) then I was not weak. The only way I’d learned to be successful was to drive and work very hard, but this involved hardening myself up for this push through life. So with that belief there was no way I could let myself feel any delicacy, if I did, I couldn’t push any more and if I couldn’t push, I wouldn’t be successful or show strength. How wrong that was! Delicacy can melt ice and smooth stone and discovering my own delicacy I know for sure THIS is the super power and not the hardening.

  24. This is beautiful in bringing the words delicate and strength together, it totally breaks the illusion that delicate can mean weak. I am still working on allowing myself to feel the delicateness and tenderness of being a woman the whole time, I have moments of this but can also see how I go into ‘protection’ and my body becomes hard.

  25. “I am finding the more that I allow myself to feel my delicateness as a woman, in the many ways that I confirm this as my natural way – then the more awareness I have in my daily moments.” This is beautiful Cherise, and something that I too am discovering. It is those moments of deep love for oneself that step by step can build a body of love, as the body pays us back for how we treat it, however that maybe.

  26. Why is girly a word with such a bad connotation that being it is a problem even for girls? A girl-woman that is truly delicate offers a reflection that is not only beautiful but also too much for people that has made of hardening their way! It offers the possibility to stop, connect to that feeling inside you and go from there. No wonders why people react so much to it. It is way too much to ask. By contrast and mysteriously, the word manly does not have negative connotations for men even if acting manly is precisely what makes boys loose themselves.

  27. Cherise this was so awesome to read for me. Real beautiful that you’ve allowed your delicateness and fragility. I know I had/have the assumption that the world is way to rough for me to be delicate – I’d feel like I’d get eaten alive… It’s a dog eat dog world out there isn’t it?
    Lately though, I am finding the opposite, keeping fragile and delicate makes the world go round a whole lot easier. And the interactions I have with others is different. Everyone drops their guard a bit I find… As I have dropped mine.

  28. Letting go of hardness is really something to be applauded, and nowhere near as easy as it sounds. That tough body, and hard way of being becomes an internal suit of armour, seemingly impervious to the arrows/bullets/missiles fired by life. To let that go? Well at first I must say I found it terrifying. I felt as raw and exposed as a newborn baby without a warm blanket…but then I discovered an inner warmth. As radiant as the Sun and as powerful. I could never feel that while I had my metal suit “protecting” me.
    So was that hardness ever protecting me at all? If it was, why did I always feel so hurt by people and situations? Why did I never trust anyone? After all, if the suit was working surely I would have skipped through life like it was a breeze!
    What I have discovered is that the clanking armour shielded me from my own essence, my tenderness and stripped me of any sense of who I truly am. Letting it go made me feel like I was suspended in space, until that greater discovery was made, and it has been the greatest discovery of my life.

    1. I can relate to this suit of armour put on to protect myself from everything going on around me, but actually locking myself away from me. As I’ve learnt to reconnect to my own inner essence sometimes the suit of armour vanishes, but sometimes it still comes back and locks itself firmly on. As I am learning to feel the difference between the two in my body, I am learning to be more aware of the choices I make and the consequences they have.

  29. “I am finding the more that I allow myself to feel my delicateness as a woman, in the many ways that I confirm this as my natural way – then the more awareness I have in my daily moments.” I can so relate to this! I am also feeling more and more how delicate and tender I am. Usually I would lose this as I went to work but today I did not. I realise that today I honoured that I am very delicate and made everything I did about love. I could feel that by making my day about something that I know is absolutely true, and that is love, I could be myself, present and very delicate, sexy and beautiful.

    1. Very inspiring Lieke – I make more and more the same experience. The more I allow myself to be tender, the deeper my connection to myself and other people and that feels just wonderful. Important is – as you say, to honor my tenderness on a daily basis, sometimes I forget this and I get lost in the doing.

  30. Is it possible that we do not honour our delicateness and sensitivity because that is where our true power lies – and we settle for a life of protection and keeping people out? Are we living each moment avoiding our true power and might? What a ridiculous game with no winners, other than the energy that feeds this game.

    1. We are taught that there is no power in being delicate and sensitive, so to (re) learn this now means a complete overhaul of everything we have known until this point. I have come to appreciate the absolute strength and power within my fragility and to honour these even in times when I am challenged and asked to be ‘harder’ than that which I naturally am.

  31. This is so true Cherise. Why are we ashamed of how delicate we actually are? And why is it seen as a bad thing? It seems the whole world is obsessed with toughening up, even the kids in the playground.

    1. Its interesting Rebecca that you use the words ‘ashamed’ here. Perhaps this is something some women feel depending on how they were raised and what they were taught is acceptable as a woman, but for me it was more about thinking I would be crushed, (or even annihilated) if I allowed myself to live the true delicacy I can feel within me. I realise now how judgemental and pre emptive that is/was. These days I am just working on living it, without worrying what anyone will think or say – but rather my focus is on my commitment to living the true me – which is naturally very delicate.

    2. All that effort into safeguarding ourselves against being hurt, yet its hurt that is at the seat of that very approach. In a single delicate touch or look the space emerges to allow opportunity for the tough exterior to begin the fall and release.

  32. Thank you Cherise. I feel that the word delicate is just coming into my radar. I can feel it in the petals of a flower or gossamer wings of a butterfly, however to consider myself as delicate and strong within that delicateness is something I feel just opening up for me. I have lived a life of protection and there is a hardness in that – void of delicateness. A work in progress as they say, and deepened by your sharing, thank you.

    1. I love that you bought the examples of nature being delicate and open I too have just started noticing the flowers – super tiny exquisite detailed petals, amazing delicacy all reminders that this is what resides within!

    2. Beautiful sharing, I continue to find that the strength comes in valuing and accepting more and more of my own delicateness because it is in this lived way that I am allowing myself to be aware and therefore more truthful within life and in situations. From my delicateness I can speak my truth without a nervous energy or doubt that I may have it wrong, from my delicateness I know exactly who I am and that I am everything I could ever want to be and from this strength I claim it in my walk, my action, my thought and every movement thereafter. This strength has me handling ‘anything’ that comes my way.

      1. Cherise! You have taken this topic to another level here. I can feel the lived delicateness you express and it is deeply beautiful. Don’t stop sharing and moving from this truth you have connected with. It is desperately needed in the world by all women – and men alike. So beautiful! 🙂 🙂

    3. In your words Bernadette I can feel the potency of connecting to the delicateness that we all innately hold within our body. For me this is just beginning but when I read your words ‘I can feel it in the petals of a flower or gossamer wings of a butterfly’ I can feel the stirrings of deeper connections that will continue to unfold.

      1. Those gossamer wing get me every time Susan! I feel the delicate parts that are within my heart valves when I feel the word, gossamer! Let’s connect with out gossamer selves more and more each day. Thank you.

  33. I am reflecting on a moment when my little 3year old granddaughter fell and picked herself up and brushed herself off and said she was ok before I could approach her. When did the moment come that ‘hardening’ became the way and the delicateness of which you speak Cherise began to be overridden? Thank you to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for bringing more awareness to the choices we make as adults and the opportunities available to us to live something different, to show the world through our livingness that we are delicate, fragile and tender. It is time to celebrate all these.

  34. Such a great blog, Cherise. I asked someone I know well to carry a heavy- ish bag up two flights of stairs for me last week. His initial response was to imply that I was a strong woman and I could do it – ( this is someone I know very well! ) A few years back I wouldn’t even have asked for help, but I repeated my request and he obliged. But what I learned from this is how I have been in the past, acting the strong woman, not needing help and and ‘I can do it’ attitude. So it is hardly surprising that others, who I know well, assume that I can do it alone. Learning to accept and appreciate my delicateness and thus my fragility and vulnerability, is now unfolding.

    1. Great experience to share Sue. Such a reply, telling you you should do it yourself, is such a stereotype of hurt around not knowing our true place as men. It is awesome you asked again and re-imprinted the whole situation, both for yourself and for him.

  35. I have noticed the great level of sadness and hurt that can be felt within women from disconnecting to how delicate they are and hardening their bodies, and then it as if they continue to protect themselves so as not to feel the raw fragility and hurt they have caused themselves by hardening and so the first step to coming back to that level of delicateness is actually in allowing one to deeply feel the level of hurt and pain that they hold in their body as a result of dishonouring ones fragility

  36. I would not previously have described myself as delicate, I used to think it was a word meaning weakness and not coping. I am dropping that harshness critique now of how I had learnt to think, and am awakening my suppressed hidden feelings of delicateness. It’s quite yummy.

  37. The delicateness of a woman or man is so precious. I’m aware of this more and more as well. The more I’m delicate with myself, the more I also feel my vulnerability and fragility. These qualities become now my true strength.

  38. Cherise this is wonderful to read. My walls aren’t so thick as they were but I’ve felt I how I’m on subtle alert and it’s really draining. Reading this and I’m inspired to allow my delicateness and feel who I am to a greater depth.

  39. Its true the further we get away from our delicate nature and way of being the further people are from us. The harder we become the more people move away. Its so simple yet we do not see it for what it is. Our delicate nature is what brings people in both men and women. They love the strength within that too.

  40. I have noticed that being delicate can still be regarded as a weakness and as ‘the wrong way to be’. And yet I know women who live their delicateness as a matter of fact and without the slightest trace of being precious or pathetic, a true inspiration for us all.

    1. I agree Gabriele, that women who live their delicateness as a matter of fact are truly inspiring. I am appreciating this quality so much when I feel it in myself or others, it is delicious.

    2. I wonder if when a person judges another as being weak or wrong, they are actually rejecting their own delicate nature, or simply just making sure that it will not be seen, maybe it would be too painful to accept what has been walked away from. I can certainly understand all of that and have done each one myself.

      1. Thank you Shami. I feel this to be true. It is a very clever trick – to have us believe that being hard and controlling is the way to succeed and be strong when it is love, compassion and true humility that hold sway. There is such strength and power in vulnerability, fragility and delicateness when it is true but it has been used in an untrue way to manipulate and coerce and has lost it’s credibility and trustworthiness. it is up to us to bring it back.

      2. As Elaine has said I too can feel this to be true for me, so thank you for your comment Shami as it leaves much to ponder on. It does feel painful when we realise all that we have ‘walked away from’ – however this can now become an opportunity to feel again the true depth of our sensitivity and to embrace this in all that we do.

  41. As a man, there are so many ways a woman in her delicateness is strong and powerful. With a simple look, she can open your shoulders and melt your heart. When she offers a smile, it can reassure and warm your whole body. When she offers her delicateness in support of a task, without asking you to do it differently, it allows you to connect to your essence and honour yourself and her more deeply.

    1. As a female, it is wonderful to hear how one’s delicateness can be so powerful and supportive. I had the experience recently of a man opening a door for me. I was a bit shy, but he had sensed my gentleness and delicateness, which in the moment allowed him to express and show his care, sensitivity and appreciation. It was a very lovely and tender exchange.

      1. Yes this is indeed beautiful to hear Simon how it is for a man when he feels a woman in her delicateness. In the past if a man offered to help me carry my bags etc. I would see it as a weakness and push through myself. Now, when a man offers to help I see it as a compliment He has clocked that I am honouring my delicateness and I can feel how much he naturally cares.

    2. This is gorgeous Simon, you have really connected to the essence of a woman. It is equally as powerful to experience a man being truly surrendered and tender and in this exquisitely honouring.

    3. This is the power of a woman living in true connection within herself, what she offers to all around her is beauty beyond measure and yes it is something that can melt even the toughest brick wall in another – why? because the wall is built on a false belief of protection whereas the love that is being offered and the quality of preciousness held in presence holds equality and is more powerful than all the stars’ light combined. Thank you Simon.

    4. Truly beautiful Simon Voysey.
      And what of a man who honours how delicate he is also? Now that blows me away beyond measure. For when a man honours all that he naturally is, I (as a woman) feel exposed to the core for where I may not as yet have dropped my walls – all is laid asunder, and though it may bring some discomfort, I welcome this for it allows the true alchemy of what each sex can reflect to each other – i.e. that we are all, essentially, the same.

  42. This is a beautiful post Cherise, I too am enjoying and allowing myself to embrace my delicateness, this is still a work in progress, so great to re read your experience of this.

  43. Great article Cherise, thank you. I am also discovering how delicateness is a strength, as this quality brings with it so much presence to any activity you do. And when you are present I notice that there seems to be more organisation, order, routine and enough time to ‘do’ things. Its quite incredible how honoring your delicateness brings so much along with it.

  44. As a younger woman I felt I had to be tough and hard to survive in the world and saw delicate sensitive woman as weak and pitiful. I closed my heart to not only myself but to everyone thinking that would keep me safe, if I didn’t let anyone in or express love then I couldn’t be hurt. Since listening to presentations of serge Benahayon and Universal Medicine I choose to look at life very differently. I now know that by working through my hurts and the picture I had created from my own values and beliefs of how a woman should be, act, dress and the role in life I chose to take on is far from true.
    I now know the incredible strength and safety I feel in re connecting to my authentic self and opening my heart and learn to love myself and others. I am amazed just how delicate, tender and sweet I truly am. By re-claiming my femaleness and the gorgeous woman I am I feel love and warmth emanate from the core of my being

    1. Isn’t it amazing how we can fool ourselves into believing that if we don’t let anyone in we can’t be hurt! Not letting others in is one of our greatest hurts for we will always feel alone and isolated if we persist in this.

      1. Lucy it so true not letting people in is the biggest hurts, it took me a long time to let people in, as from very young I was hurt and due to that I kept prople out and never trusted anyone. But since I have started to let people in to my life, it has been full of love and joy.

      2. Totally agree with you on this subject Lucy, I know I definitely fooled myself into believing that if I built a brick wall and kept everyone out I was keeping my self safe. It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I have started to trust myself enough to let go of the guards. And letting people in isn’t a scary or difficult as I imagined it to be.

      3. Me too Mary and Amita. I was a master builder of walls in the past, but it was hard to see as it was hidden behind a mask of smiley, friendly and apparently open. When I think about it, it was a brilliant disguise as I could hide in plain sight whilst be thought of as an open woman. I got so good at it that it was quite a shock earlier this year when I realised that I really didn’t let people in at all. Making others jump through hoops to prove they are worthy of trust before we let them in is so far away from love. I am learning what it feels like to be truly open now, and at times I still want to run for the hills, but the more I choose to stay in my vulnerability the more honest and loving my relationships become.

    2. I really relate to what you shared here Margaret. I too have seen my sensitivity as a weakness, and my delicateness almost wussy, but I am realising more and more each day this is not the truth. It is our delicateness, if truly honoured that we can stand strong in. I am just now discovering how to do this, and simply by building my confidence in living it.

      1. Delicateness has been seen by me as something elderly ladies carried, or oriental women held in their tiny frames. But strangely enough, even some oriental women were banished to having their feel bound and crushed to force ‘delicacy’ – The thing is I was seeing delicacy as an external way of living, whereas I know understand that delicacy is a choice I make to live something within me. To be delicate is to be present, to take care and to be aware.
        I am absolutely lapping up this journey I’ve stared to allow more delicacy not to define me, but to let myself be a true woman.

      2. I also grew up feeling that my delicateness was my weakness. We start to develop stories around being too sensitive and judge ourselves quite harshly. What I am realising is that by shutting down my awareness and delicateness, I have avoided having to feel what is around me and also speak up or deal with what I have felt. I can feel now there is no way people in the world will remember how normal it is for us all to be delicate unless we are reflecting that.

    3. What a truly beautiful transformation and testimony Margaret. I am touched deeply by your words, having known so many women who have chosen not to drop the walls… and continuing the amazing journey of dropping my own walls myself.

      I would love to see your comment here as a blog in its own right. Can feel the truthfulness and beauty of you in every word. Thank-you.

  45. I just loved your blog Cherise and have drawn so much inspiration from it. Learning to be more delicate has certainly been an interesting one. Having been so hard on myself in the past, understanding what being more delicate actually meant was at times a challenge. I now understand it is very much in the details, as you so beautifully have shared, how we speak, tone we use, how we touch, ourselves, others. How we open doors, movements we make. It is all a learning and it continues to be so for me in this space.

    1. What you have so beautifully shared resonated with me greatly Reagan. The delicate quality we hold is in the finer details of ourselves and this is one I sometimes forget and don’t appreciate within myself. Thank you for the lovely reminder.

      1. I too love the reminder Kelly as you mention in response to Cherise Holt’s great article – sometimes that is all we need, a gentle reminder that it’s okay to feel our tenderness, our deicateness – even on occasions the fragility of us. I find the developing of this awareness has the possibility of bringing a greater sense of whole-ness as we learn to appreciate all of who we are truly.

    2. I too can relate to being in hardness in the name of protection. Not honouring our delicateness is yet another way that we keep ourselves as less because it is in our delicateness that our power lies.

    3. It certainly is in the details reagankcairney. If I find myself not being as delicate as I know I can be, or I’m rushing, I focus on the smallest details of how I open doors, close drawers, how I’m holding my body and mostly I focus on how my fingertips feel. I get this sense of ‘ah, that’s it’ when I feel how delicate my fingertips feel as I move my fingers and thumb together very delicately. It’s a way to re-focus and remember that I am in fact a delicate woman.

      1. Yes our hands and fingers are such a great way to reconnect to ourselves. It’s pretty tricky to do things without being delicate when we truly focus on our fingertips.

    4. I understand the challenge you speak of Raegan, hardness is a very old pattern and a well reflected way of being in our society that I know I feel that I stand out like a sore ‘delicate’ thumb most of the time! But I am learning all the time that I have nothing to apologise for this way of being with myself and with others.
      If I go into any hardness my whole body tenses and aches to be let free again – there is nothing strong about this, the true strength comes in allowing our bodies to be natural and honour ourselves in our movements and muscles with a dedication to expressing who we are and feeling our delicateness and equal strength in motion and in our quality.

  46. I now hold a more true sense of what it actually means to be a woman with strength; feeling really powerful with my innate delicateness, which is something I’m really enjoying and loving as a foundational part of my womanhood.” I agree Cherise, delicateness is a foundational quality for us as women. I love to feel this in other women, and I can feel it in you and in myself reading your blog, it is exquisite!

    1. I too appreciate the delicateness that is our innate nature as a woman. As I read your beautiful blog Cherise it allowed me to feel my own delicateness whilst I felt yours, through your loving account.

    2. Yes I too have come to such a different understanding of what it means to be a beautfiul woman, and embracing our true qualities is key to this. it’s a lovely freedom we can have to honour our delicateness, gentleness and love.

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