Image is huge in our society, with a constant bombardment of what you should look like from all sides in media and social media. Thankfully, as a society we are starting to become more aware of how the images we see everyday affect us and especially influence our younger generation.
Recent studies show that the impact of early exposure of sexuality to a girl’s development is indeed very harmful. A report by the American Psychological Association task force (APA, 2007), found that girls who are exposed to sexual messages from popular culture are more likely to have depression, low self esteem and to suffer from eating disorders. Unfortunately, we are only currently seeing the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the devastating effects of over sexualizing our young girls, especially with the advent of social media.
Where I work I recently set up a Facebook account to attract young people into working in apprenticeships – the idea being that by using social media we would communicate with our chosen audience. So I started to make ‘friends’ with local young people to promote our advertising.
Within a few days our company had connected with hundreds of young people. As I clicked daily and added and accepted friends I started to notice a shocking trend in nearly all the photographs of young women; there were hundreds of photos of young girls being overly sexual, pouting and posing for shoots – not long ago you would have only seen this look in a dodgy magazine with a caption reading “call me”.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a woman showing her body and being naturally sexy and confident in herself and in her physique, but many of these photos did not show a natural confidence or a feeling of being comfortable; whilst I glanced over photos there was an all too similar feeling of desperation. As I scrolled through I felt sad to see a large majority of these beautiful young women looking lost and needy. I was quite taken back and I had to ask my self, is this the norm for our young women? And if so, what have we done to allow this to happen? How come these young women’s faces staring back at me in their low cut tops posing seductively, actually felt so sad and empty?
Is it because they are missing themselves?
Is it because they have sold out to a lie of what they should look like and how they should perform in order to fit in?
Not that long ago these teenage women were innocent, honest, fun loving girls – what we are now seeing is the consequences of our girls being constantly fed a lie. This lie has been hanging around for far too long, promoting a demoralizing way of thinking that has become the norm.
From a young age, girls in many different ways are taught that they are valued for what they look like rather than what they say and who they are as a person.
All of us make up society and we are all part of it, so what is going on for us to buy into this facade? Why is there a constant need to look better? And why in our history as women has this actually gotten worse with time, not better?
When will we take responsibility and change or will we see another generation drip-fed with the same deluded ideas?
The images we see every day are more hypersexual then ever. We are constantly being bombarded with images that say we are not enough, that we need to be more sexy, more beautiful; these unreal expectations once swallowed are totally exhausting so no wonder suicide rates and depression rates have escalated in young women. Are we not accountable for letting this happen?
What can we do? We can start with small steps like saying no to buying and reading damaging material. I myself noticed that I would feel yucky and low after reading the average woman’s magazine, where I would be left with the imposed message that said I was not good enough or as beautiful as them. Let’s not be under any illusion, most of this material promotes and encourages bitchiness, gossip, competition and comparison (these traits can sure make us ugly).
In the past when I have looked at such magazines and also many social media sites I have looked at my own body more harshly and more critically and I have noticed I am more likely to judge another = what an exhausting waste of energy!
The constant disempowering of us as women has implications far and wide. It is time to wake up and choose to see beyond physical looks and look at the deeper issues of lack of self worth and how this can be addressed. Ultimately when we deal with our own lack of self worth we are able to inspire others and show them that the current ways have not worked and will not work.
By far the most effective solution is to empower young girls to inspire them to believe in themselves. Once we deal with our own lack of self worth and start to live in a way that celebrates who we are as women we are able to inspire young people to also love and respect themselves.
True beauty is found in all women in all sizes, in all ages and in all physical attributes. Truly there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is content with who she is and radiates this joy as a celebration for all to see.
To the girls I see on the social media sites I want to tell them that they are beautiful, that they are all unique, no matter what shape, size, weight or race. I want to tell them they are strong, amazing, divine, sexy and sassy just being them; that there is no need to be anyone other than who they truly are. As wise claimed beautiful women we can inspire our young and not sell our selves out to a marketed idea of what beauty is; in doing so we send a strong message out to our young generation that they are all uniquely beautiful and that we are all, young and old, so much more than someone’s marketed idea of what beauty is.
by STC, UK
Reference:
American Psychological Association (APA) (2007), Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls
You may also like:
What is Being Truly Sexy by STC
Consuming Junk Media & Cleaning up My own Press by Adrienne Hutchins
Reclaiming my Self Worth by Danielle
Women in Livingness Blog 
“True beauty is found in all women in all sizes, in all ages and in all physical attributes. Truly there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is content with who she is and radiates this joy as a celebration for all to see.” – when a woman is truly content, this is felt and seen and stands as a reflection to others for what can be. Sadly this too can trigger jealousy in another for contentment is something many seek outside of themselves, but forget that it lies deep within.
When we are dealing with a global problem with women not valuing themselves…”What can we do? We can start with small steps like saying no to buying and reading damaging material.” and of course this laying of the boundaries has to come first and foremost from ourselves valuing ourselves more and more and deeper and deeper and thus developing a relationship with ourselves that is far more supportive and honouring.
This is a key problem we are encountering: “From a young age, girls in many different ways are taught that they are valued for what they look like rather than what they say and who they are as a person.”, but this has been the case for longer than we realise as our focus has shifted from valuing who we are to what we do and so now it is about bringing the focus back to what really matters…the who we are and the true essence of where we come from, divinely so.
The facts are that fashion and gossip magazines play a huge part in the massive lack of self worth epidemic we have as a nation.
“Once we deal with our own lack of self worth and start to live in a way that celebrates who we are as women we are able to inspire young people to also love and respect themselves.” and here in lies the demise of the ‘womens magazine’ as we know it. The more women claim and know their own beauty there can be no demand for such glossy gossip magazines telling a women who she should be.
We can all be our own media beacon when we move in the absolute knowing of our true worth and beauty and as an inspiration far more powerful than any glossy magazine.
“What can we do? We can start with small steps like saying no to buying and reading damaging material.” If we all did this with all types of media our world would be a totally different place.
Lack of self worth issues is not a new phenomenon but it would appear to have been exacerbated by the seemingly unrelenting pressure of social media which makes it all the more crucial that young women have role models that demonstrate another way of being. Thus we all have a personal responsibility to reflect our beauty to all and support young women to challenge the current norms and not feel that they have to conform to pictures of what society is currently deeming acceptable.
I am seeing more and more clearly, that there is a set up in this world, one that we are all born into, which prevents us from seeing and being who we naturally are. Girls, from the moment they are born, are placed into boxes filled with so many expectations of what a girl should be, should look like and should act, with all these ‘shoulds’ being so damaging to their fragile self-worth. It’s our job to unconditionally support these beautiful girls to connect with who they truly are and the beauty within them, so they are able to resist the pull to fit into the images that flood the media. It’s time to end the lies that our precious children are being fed!
“When will we take responsibility and change or will we see another generation drip-fed with the same deluded ideas” It is very much in our face, we can not deny the effect social media is having on our children, never before has it been so obvious that there is great harm that comes from raising children to not know there worth.
When a child knows who she is and stand in that power none of these imposing beliefs can take hold.
I was passing a shop window the last night and looked at the mannequins displaying tights and lingerie and found myself looking at the thinness of their legs, hips and body comparing them to my own for a millisecond; then i looked outside the shop on the streets to see women milling around with not one woman at all having a body or shape like the mannequin where I realised the insatiable extent to which we are as women subtly programmed on every level and every opportunity to constantly feel something “negative” or “inadequate” about our bodies. Every piece of advertising has an orchestrated play and dig at a woman’s self-worth to any woman not in love with her own body and inner-quality first.
Men do play a role in this whole ugly perfect image thing as well. If only men would learn to see women with their hearts, they wouldn’t look to the outside of a woman first. And see them as objects.
I feel that early exposure to the sexualisation of women has a significant effect on girls learning to compromise as women. We are taught you won’t be cool, popular or worse still ‘loved’ if you don’t. This is where role models in family can play such an important role to show girls that they can value their worth and not need to compromise.
Spot on Fiona – there is so much peer pressure for girls and young women these days and a push to compromise what they know to be true. The message is loud and clear to conform to the status quo and sell out, be sexual and thus be cool and accepted, or otherwise be left out and not accepted. This is manipulation at its prime, moulding young women to be anything but the beauty of who they are naturally so. This does need to be talked about so that there can be a different way to deal with this.
“By far the most effective solution is to empower young girls to inspire them to believe in themselves. ”
So true if a lady/girl does not know who they are they will be forever searching in all the wrong places.
Social media forms one of the greatest challenges of our time, the fact we are already in such a dire mess with it is shocking, more shocking is that nothing really is being done about it.
Sad sad times we are in when the issue is so obvious yet no real effort and ground swell from humanity is there to change it
With beautiful young women not feeling their worth, their value and their grace. With beautiful young women not feeling beautiful enough, even though they are already stunning. It makes me wonder why or how we can carry on watching this story play itself out, at what point is it enough, when do the media mechanisms stop and simply allow women and girls be sweet, simple, precious and free from imposition?
I agree Samantha, live in a way that inspires others, ‘By far the most effective solution is to empower young girls to inspire them to believe in themselves. Once we deal with our own lack of self worth and start to live in a way that celebrates who we are as women we are able to inspire young people to also love and respect themselves.’ Absolutely.
The effect on young women today is devastating and where we have got to with the lack of value and knowing of our unique true beauty from within in all women and young girls. A real eye opener that is becoming worse everyday in lack of honouring and appreciation that could change everything and bring back the joy aliveness and playfulness once again of our girls and young women to be by reflection who they really are and the sacredness of women to be restored.
The fact that marketing, social media and magazines don’t leave us feeling beautiful, but instead incite comparison, criticism and insecurity reveals their true colours – true beauty always reminds another they are beautiful.
Inspirational article Samantha. We, women and men alike, should be careful observers what society throws at us: fact is that we are bombarded with images, ideals and believes that make us feel less. Observe so we can see that lies that are fed to us.
Some great questions are raised in this blog, ‘How come these young women’s faces staring back at me in their low cut tops posing seductively, actually felt so sad and empty?
Is it because they are missing themselves?
Is it because they have sold out to a lie of what they should look like and how they should perform in order to fit in?’
This is such an important subject to be talking about: the disrespectful media circus that portrays women’s bodies so sexually when it wants to make us desirable and so ugly when it wants tear us down – both with the only motivation of selling and making money. Surely there must come a time when this old and truly abhorrent way of treating women will come to an end? Surely it is so grossly obvious now of what it happening that as a society we would have to be pulling in some pretty big shutters to be so blind and complacent?
“Surely there must come a time when this old and truly abhorrent way of treating women will come to an end?” yep it will Shami but only when we women start portraying and living something else, it has to come from us, there’s no other way.
I know someone who is very content with her own body and she constantly amazes me with her beauty which shines from her like a beacon, and to me she captures everyone’s heart because she is naturally unassuming and totally with herself, which allows me the freedom to be with myself.
Reading this blog I wonder if there will be devastating future consequences from the current social media epidemic.