The Roles We Hide In

Throughout my childhood I took on roles so that the world would see me, and so that I knew who I was.  Sometimes the ‘tidier’, sometimes the ‘wrecker’, sometimes the ‘quiet one’ and sometimes the ‘screamer’.  As time went on I began to cement these roles, becoming known as the peacemaker and carer within my family.

If I had a role then everything made sense.  Without thinking, I could work from the script.

Continue reading “The Roles We Hide In”

Why Flirt? One Woman’s Discovery

A boyfriend once said to me that he couldn’t imagine me flirting and suggested I should be less shy and flirt more. Inside I felt self-righteous, that I didn’t stoop that low and incredulous that he should suggest such a thing. Another part of my reaction was feeling sad that I wasn’t accepted the way I was.


We discussed what constitutes flirting and I concluded that it is about trying to attract another and that it had sexual undertones. However, this boyfriend having said that I should flirt more, recalled a house party that I hosted before we got together, he said, “I felt like you were flirting with your eyes”. Continue reading “Why Flirt? One Woman’s Discovery”

The Woman, The Mother

Nicole Serafin - Age 42
Nicole Serafin (Age 42)

Walking into a business this week being complimented on how great I looked, then being met with utter confusion by the clerk as to how I could look so great when she found out I had 2 children (a 6 yr old and a 12 month old), made me ponder on how we women see ourselves when we become mothers.

A lot of women feel a sense of losing their identity after having children – they become someone’s mother. Some also believe it is impossible to maintain the same level of care for themselves when they become mothers. Continue reading “The Woman, The Mother”

Communicating with Men in my Amazingness

I have observed myself and my amazingness for a while now and have discovered that I have a tendency to relate to men and women in a different way. I did not feel safe opening up and communicating with men in relationships in the same way I did with women, because there was always a lurking fear that I would be misread. When I wanted to open myself up, I have been scared that men would want more than simply platonic relations. So I never really opened myself fully in my communication with men, and as a result, men could never be fully open to me.

In the past, when I have been relating to men, because of my non-acceptance of myself as I am, I have attached a lot of need towards words given as compliments, such as “you are beautiful”. Continue reading “Communicating with Men in my Amazingness”