The Roles We Hide In

Throughout my childhood I took on roles so that the world would see me, and so that I knew who I was.  Sometimes the ‘tidier’, sometimes the ‘wrecker’, sometimes the ‘quiet one’ and sometimes the ‘screamer’.  As time went on I began to cement these roles, becoming known as the peacemaker and carer within my family.

If I had a role then everything made sense.  Without thinking, I could work from the script.

The Power of a Woman’s Smile

Why Flirt? One Woman’s Discovery

A boyfriend once said to me that he couldn’t imagine me flirting and suggested I should be less shy and flirt more. Inside I felt self-righteous, that I didn’t stoop that low and incredulous that he should suggest such a thing. Another part of my reaction was feeling sad that I wasn’t accepted the way I was.

FLIRTING – IT’S IN THE EYES

We discussed what constitutes flirting and I concluded that it is about trying to attract another and that it had sexual undertones. However, this boyfriend having said that I should flirt more, recalled a house party that I hosted before we got together, he said, “I felt like you were flirting with your eyes”.

The Woman, The Mother

Nicole Serafin (Age 42)

Walking into a business this week being complimented on how great I looked, then being met with utter confusion by the clerk as to how I could look so great when she found out I had 2 children (a 6 yr old and a 12 month old), made me ponder on how we women see ourselves when we become mothers.

A lot of women feel a sense of losing their identity after having children – they become someone’s mother. Some also believe it is impossible to maintain the same level of care for themselves when they become mothers.

Communicating with Men in my Amazingness

I have observed myself and my amazingness for a while now and have discovered that I have a tendency to relate to men and women in a different way. I did not feel safe opening up and communicating with men in relationships in the same way I did with women, because there was always a lurking fear that I would be misread. When I wanted to open myself up, I have been scared that men would want more than simply platonic relations. So I never really opened myself fully in my communication with men, and as a result, men could never be fully open to me.

In the past, when I have been relating to men, because of my non-acceptance of myself as I am, I have attached a lot of need towards words given as compliments, such as “you are beautiful”.