Dressing for Men or Living My Own Rhythm?

Yesterday morning I heard the chuckle of the kookaburras and the playful steps of my little niece on our timber floor. It was Saturday morning and I had begun my day with a warm shower. I prepared myself for the day by making a delicious salmon breakfast, gently doing my hair and sitting at my duchess, applying loving attention along with my make-up. I enjoyed ironing my beautiful red dress to wear for the day. I felt lovely and my day felt in rhythm.

I had an event to go to but time didn’t seem to be a factor and I felt like I was moving with ease around my house, around my family and every task or thing I needed to do was simply flowing from one thing to the next…

Fully dressed and ready to leave the house I walked out of my bedroom and my niece’s eyes lit up, ‘Wow!’ she said, without further explanation her whole body expressed to me that I felt Beautiful. Which was so true! I smiled and I flowed my dress around like I was her age again.

My brother noted that I had taken my time and prepared myself differently, even that my hair was different – which was fun because I have done that hair-style before, but as many times when I do my hair I felt it to be new. However it was his comment that I was going to an International Men’s Day event that stopped me in my tracks.

Straight away my body contracted a little and I felt defensive, did he think I had only dressed myself today to be seen by men? And then I realised; I had definitely done this many times before.

How many times have we dressed ourselves in anticipation of what others may think of us or for them to accept us?

But as I shared with him, this day I did feel different. I hadn’t thought about getting attention, being liked by others or fitting in and I hadn’t thought about what other women may be wearing either (a comparison that has definitely been a part of my wardrobe choices before too!).

I had dressed myself for me, and I felt amazing.

My family had felt this and a day later I am still appreciating this simple experience. Every choice I made to nurture my own body felt wonderful and as each moment flowed to the next I felt like I was in my own rhythm. I had a beautiful man in my kitchen expressing in his own way that he had noticed me for simply being me.

When I attended the event to catch up with and meet other men (and women), I had already given myself the permission to just be me. It didn’t matter what others may or may not have thought about me because I had already accepted the beautiful woman I am.

 By Cherise Holt, 30, nurse, Australia

Other related articles you may like:
Nurturing Moments, True Self-Care
Celebrate, the Woman Within
Beautiful Woman Looking Back at Me

375 thoughts on “Dressing for Men or Living My Own Rhythm?

  1. This beauty is inside us, it is waiting for us to value it and nurture it. Thank you for the reminder that there is great joy when that is felt and lived from the inside-out.

  2. Love this Cherise and also how by you honouring your own rhythm and flow that everyone around couldn’t help but feel this, and without you asking anything of them you were reminding them that they are beautiful too. How cool is that!

  3. ‘It didn’t matter what others may or may not have thought about me because I had already accepted the beautiful woman I am.’ We can either dress ourselves to accept and appreciate the beauty we feel inside and give permission to let this beauty out or the other way around to start the day with calculating how much we will let out and start the day with our focus on what people think of us, what they will wear and let this interfere with what we feel inside.

    1. If we benchmark how we feel against an outside barometer we will constantly be searching for solid terrain. The foundation must come from inside, from a deep knowing of our essence.

  4. The whole feeling of dressing for ourselves is light, joyful and transparent when we have no picture or need to be anything other than ourselves, reflecting a natural flow in our quality of connection through the way we move and express.

  5. Beautiful Cherise. There is nothing more powerful than dressing for ourselves, perhaps adding what we could bring to others to bring evolution. But that is something completely different than dressing to get something back from the people who see us.

  6. This is beautiful to take everywhere with ourselves, accepting how amazing we are, ‘It didn’t matter what others may or may not have thought about me because I had already accepted the beautiful woman I am.’

  7. When we honour our body and hold it in appreciation and love there is this confidence that exudes from our body and it doesn’t matter necessarily what were even wearing…we look absolutely amazing. Natalie Benhayon comes to mind straight away, as it doesn’t matter what she is wearing she always looks and feels gorgeous, stunning and sexy. She could be in a tracksuit or exercise clothes, it really doesn’t matter. I used to think that I only felt good or looked great if I was wearing xyz and had my hair in a certain way etc. This has changed, like you Cherise, and I feel beautiful from my body first.

  8. There is something about dressing beautifully which always seems to attract attention, and even though attention is not what you were looking for, it comes your way none the less. So I guess the key is to stand strong in this, because the attention may not always be so supportive and can sometimes be quite hurtful. But perhaps there is great strength in knowing how you feel and as you are not dressed or made-up for anyone else, the attention given is actually not an issue of yours but simply a reflection of where the other person is at with themselves – which will always show in the kind of attention that you receive from them.

  9. “It didn’t matter what others may or may not have thought about me because I had already accepted the beautiful woman I am.” This is brilliant, it shows us that when we DO need recognition and we do need acceptance or confirmation or even permission from other people we are not doing it right here right now with ourselves – where it counts. So effectively we are going out into the world empty asking it to fill us up, rather than confirming, appreciating, accepting ourselves so we don’t place that demand on the world.

    1. Yes and I can see now there are many layers of that because we can think we don’t search outside for approval and for filling up, but when our behaviours are not the standard we have come to accept as our normal when we are out, for example we try just a smidgen harder, or start drinking or eating food we have long since recognised don’t work in the body, then there is a reflection offered of a deeper relationship waiting.

  10. Dressing for ourselves, is incredibly joyful and freeing. Whereas dressing for others we can go into self-doubt, not feeling good enough or trying too hard. I know which one I would prefer to do!

  11. ‘ I had dressed myself for me, and I felt amazing.’ Beautiful Cherise. When we dress for others there is usually an investment or a picture of how we want an event to unfold. Dressing for ourselves has a completely different feel.

  12. It is interesting how we can feel amazing and then allow ourselves to drop because of what someone says. I remember I used to do this all the time and then start to question myself, am I really feeling amazing, maybe I am not if others are not feeling it. Looking back it was because I needed someones confirmation that that was what I was feeling rather than staying with the fact I really am amazing.

    1. Looking for confirmation from others can be a killer. When we feel great and full of ourselves we have no need for appreciation from others. If we feel even a little bit ‘less than’ a subtle negative comment can undermine us.

      1. That’s it Sue, then we are at the mercy of others remarks. But when we’re not looking for confirmation and instead feel it for ourselves then we can’t be rocked or brought down.

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