Getting Caught in an Outer Beauty

by Sheri Gompelman, Brisbane, Australia

I recently submitted a blog titled, The Truth about Beauty – We Are Enough.

I wrote that blog a day after I had an Esoteric Ovary Massage with Natalie Benhayon, which had really allowed me to connect with the beautiful woman I am.

After I wrote the blog I cried as I could feel it came from a great power within. Yet, although I can feel what True Beauty is I am always having to remind or stop myself from falling into what is not True Beauty.

I was recently invited to an event by a close friend and her circle of friends. I have not really hung out with this group before so I was thrilled to be invited, however, I immediately started to wonder why was I invited? I don’t know why I couldn’t accept the fact that I am great company and why wouldn’t they invite me. But instead, I chose to let my mind wander through different scenarios… I felt being myself just wasn’t enough. I was searching for a role I had to fit.

The next day we were all discussing dressing for the event on Facebook and after a few fun messages a comment was made directly to me, “I can’t wait to see what you are wearing on the day”… my response was, “Ah too much pressure! I will wear what I feel to on the day”. I couldn’t get this comment out of my mind… was this the reason I was invited?

When it Comes to Dressing Up I Don’t Hold Back.

I have felt this was my role, dressing to the nines so others feel better when out of their comfort zone. This was my niche – it was up to me to bring my ‘outer’ beauty.

Each day I started thinking about the event and began dressing with this style at work. I told myself and others at work that I was feeling inspired, but really I was practicing the look of perfection for the day.

Actually the first day I brought the style to work I was inspired – I lovingly put on my makeup, had fun creating a new hairstyle, felt my beautiful essence of a woman and placed on my outfit. I felt amazing – simply because of the way I had dressed myself.

The next day I didn’t really feel like dressing in the style of the event, but I did anyway. I thought it was important I did so I could feel into the perfect outfit on the day. Seriously Sheri, we can’t practice what we are going to feel on the day, but at the time this was the lie I was telling myself.

So, day four, it was the day before the big event and whilst I was doing my hair, putting on my makeup and finding a new outfit – I felt different. I decided to look in the mirror and work out what had changed.

  • Why did I look different?
  • What had happened?

My True Self felt Hidden.

My makeup looked hard, my hair just was not me and my outfit was a little more provocative. Oh sure I was fitting the look I was going for, however, my beautiful essence was not shining through.

I realised that I had painted on layers of perfection towards an image I thought I had to fulfill. 

A reflection of hardness stared back at me in the mirror.

Each day and each moment I got ready I wasn’t getting ready for me or with me. I was getting ready for a different day. I was getting ready to meet a look, to meet an expectation.

At this point, feeling the hardness in my body and where my mind was at, I took a moment to just simply breathe. Breath to let go of the hardness I could feel. But I still felt like I kept getting caught up in my head – thoughts of me feeling as though this hardness was ok and that I just had to get on with it. I knew I didn’t have to feel this way. I wanted to feel like me, just as I knew myself to be at the beginning of the week.

I decided to get an Esoteric Massage. This helped me to bring myself back to me, to my true essence – I no longer felt the hardness in my body, as I allowed the self-imposed layers of perfection to simply melt away.

I can now see that ‘feeling into the day’ doesn’t mean I can’t plan what I want to wear, as this allows me more time on the day of an event. And it’s ok for people to look forward to seeing my outfit, because what people enjoy is the essence of me that I bring to that outfit.

So as it turns out, on the day of the event it was never about meeting an expectation or having a role – it was simply about enjoying the company of new people at an event we may all enjoy. How about this – I was invited just because of me. How beautiful, simple and true.

Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon – every day I feel honored and blessed to have this support.

399 thoughts on “Getting Caught in an Outer Beauty

  1. Thank you Sheri for everything you have shared here, perfect for me to read today. Often we feel pressure to perform for different reasons but the way back is the same, to just be ourselves and love who we are.

  2. “I no longer felt the hardness in my body, as I allowed the self-imposed layers of perfection to simply melt away.” An Esoteric Massage session reconnects us to the natural beauty we already are.

  3. A lot of us live with a hardness, often a form of protection of some kind. Lately I have been looking into my eyes in the mirror every day to feel the hardness – or not – that is there. It is easy to feel and see and also easy to come back to a connection within and look out to that person opposite and allow the love to flow. With this love the hardness vanishes and our movements change.

  4. The reflection of our Soul is an ‘out of this world’ beauty that is who we truly and naturally are. This is the true meaning and representation of what beauty is, that which we all have access to through our connection to our essence and simply being ourselves.

    1. The celebration of us all is felt through your comment – thank you. I love reading this as this is what our ‘normal’ truly is, feeling inspired to live the joy of who we are, who we all are.

  5. This is such an inspiring sharing to understand that we can never express our true beauty when we come from our head trying to meet a perceived look of beauty. It is only through connecting with our essence and feeling the joy of being with ourselves that we naturally and outwardly express our true beauty from within.

  6. I feel that the evolution of expressing our true beauty out is closely tied with our surrender to the letting of the world in.

  7. Thank you for honouring the beauty of your essence and reflecting that to others. When we go into doubt and e.g. question why we have been invited somewhere it is a slippery slope to feeling we have to take on a different persona to meet an expectation, yet the heaviest expectations are those that we place on ourselves that prevent us shining out wherever we find ourselves.

  8. In someone who was very good at using how I looked to put on a front and keep people out. It was look but don’t touch and I would put a lot of effort into my looks but up the barriers went. It showed me how much I could be taken by the outer image – as is shared here.

  9. To have a marker in my body of what the connection to my essence feels like and then to continue to build the markers as I deepen I am finding is so important in my development as a woman. The markers support me to compare how I am feeling so that when I feel ‘not myself’ I have a choice to re-imprint my ways.

  10. Super sad when i meet teenage girls beautiful inside and out who have picked themselves apart thinking they are not beautiful. We are fed images and our lost sprit feeds on them only to churn them into an extra layer of self loathing. Far better to be impulsed by the light of the soul where we know the depth of our inner beauty and where no physical beauty can match the divinity shining brightly from inside.

  11. I have to watch when I am with certain friends- I find myself dressing differently and playing to their needs and expectations, and as is shared here this is totally me going outside of myself to get recognition and fit in. It is great to talk honestly about why we dress or behave in certain ways and for me to really reflect on how this plays out in my life too.

  12. I see children as young as 8 getting caught up in how they think they should look like, we can’t let this happen we need to let these children know that they are so so beautiful whatever their external appearance – we need to live our own self acceptance so that they have a healthy example of self love.

  13. The more we let go of our expectations and pictures the simpler life becomes, ‘on the day of the event it was never about meeting an expectation or having a role’.

  14. By being ourselves in all situations is the perfect outfit for us to wear and it is also a blessing for all concerned. I have found that when I am connected with myself I know exactly which clothes to wear for every occasion.

    1. When we are feeling connected with ourselves then there is no self doubt, no dilemmas.. we know who we are and making decisions is then straight forward and simple.

  15. “I was getting ready to meet a look, to meet an expectation.” – What a great realisation to have, and beautiful how you brought it back to dressing how you felt without thinking you needed to impress others.

  16. We really do complicate things don’t we? This is a great example of how we can let the world out there become more important than our own inner knowing and fall prey to what we think it is asking of us. When we maintain our true connection with ourselves life becomes a lot more simple.

  17. “I realised that I had painted on layers of perfection towards an image I thought I had to fulfill. “Oh my this is so common – how many of us have wasted time energy and effort trying to be someone – or look like someone.
    Knowing who we are and loving ourselves warts and all means we can’t be served a false lie.

  18. Going into trying from an expectation sets us up for disappointment, we are all measuring ourselves against an outer influence rather than simply expressing how we feel in our body and dressing for ourselves.

  19. It is great to read how the Esoteric Massage really supported you, ‘ This helped me to bring myself back to me, to my true essence – I no longer felt the hardness in my body, as I allowed the self-imposed layers of perfection to simply melt away.’

  20. What a great realisation to come to, ‘ it was simply about enjoying the company of new people at an event we may all enjoy. How about this – I was invited just because of me. How beautiful, simple and true.’

  21. People wanting to enjoy our company simply because we are amazing company to be with? surely not! or so all the beliefs we get told constantly would want us to believe. It is really tiring and exhausting to fight the fact that there are people in my life who enjoy being with me just because it’s me and not because I do anything particular. Having this reflection in my life is a blessing because the exhaustion doesn’t go away until I accept that I am lovely to be with.

  22. When we leave our connection with ourselves we now have an amazing array of esoteric therapies that can support us to return to our essence, our innermost.

    1. Yes I feel blessed to have the support of so many beautiful practitioners who reflect what it is to be connected to themselves as well as offering an amazing array of healing therapies when needed.

  23. It is like the more that we realise others are looking to you or are inspired by you there is a deeper level of acceptance to go to and this is important not for yourself but so that you can hold that steady and consistent reflection for others.

  24. Sherri you have shared so much of the process we as women can go into, where we question or doubt our worth for simply being ourselves, and as we disconnect from ourselves we then try to meet an image. Coming back to ourselves, reconnecting to our essence, and allowing that to express in full doesn’t just light up an outfit, it lights up the world.

  25. The mental pressure/torture we put ourselves through is intense. Instead of just appreciating ourselves and moving with this we go into all these stories that erode us and then bring down our experiences.

    1. I agree, the experience of disconnection and dismissing ourselves surely must be one of the most painful things in life, yet for women it can also be quite awkward learning to appreciate our qualities as we get to know ourselves again after we reconnect to our essence. It’s definitely worth it though, as I have gone from that emptiness to appreciating and cherishing myself – the beauty of self love is a joy to live.

  26. It can be so easy for our minds to run away with stories that try to undermine and make ourselves feel less, by painting a picture or scenario that is far from the truth. It comes down to self worth, when we value ourselves it becomes much easier to say no to thoughts that want to reduce the amazingness we already are.

  27. And what if another is not wanting to see you being in the power and authority of the love you are? Are you going to bow down to that and box and contract into that mould of expectation? No one ever benefits when we do this, the are only comforted by our chosen contraction.

  28. This is such a great post. I’m sure many will relate to not recognising the woman in the mirror, I certainly do. I had similar feelings come up when preparing for my wedding day, feeling a weight of expectation from how I felt others wanted me to look. In the end I wore what supported me and didn’t plan how to do my hair and makeup – I went with what I felt on the day knowing that I was there to bring all of me -no more and no less.

  29. No amount of make up or lovely clothes can replace the gorgeousness of how we feel on the inside, regardless of how much we can try to convince ourselves and others that it can. How we truly feel is always reflected in how we move, and our outward appearance is a confirmation of that expression.

  30. When we connect to our inner essence and choose from there our clothing becomes a celebration of the beauty we hold deep within.

  31. Beauty is from within and shines out from all of us, I have caught some times in the trying to hard and I can relate to how it feels hard and not ourselves in a sense, dress, make up etc for and event is amazing and fun, but if it does. It correspond to how we feel within it hides us.

  32. “I felt amazing – simply because of the way I had dressed myself.” Beautiful, the amazingness was in the way you moved.

  33. Even when we get to experience and feel our true beauty, the false versions of beauty keep presenting themselves to see if we can be lured off track. This is a great opportunity to come back to the knowing and simplicity that has been felt in the body.

    1. We are being bombarded from every angle with what true beauty is not; holding steady knowing who I am and what my purpose is, I present myself and offer inspiration not only to my daughter but to other young girls, women and the elderly around me too without perfection.

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