by Sheri Gompelman, Brisbane, Australia
I recently submitted a blog titled, The Truth about Beauty – We Are Enough.
After I wrote the blog I cried as I could feel it came from a great power within. Yet, although I can feel what True Beauty is I am always having to remind or stop myself from falling into what is not True Beauty.
I was recently invited to an event by a close friend and her circle of friends. I have not really hung out with this group before so I was thrilled to be invited, however, I immediately started to wonder why was I invited? I don’t know why I couldn’t accept the fact that I am great company and why wouldn’t they invite me. But instead, I chose to let my mind wander through different scenarios… I felt being myself just wasn’t enough. I was searching for a role I had to fit.
The next day we were all discussing dressing for the event on Facebook and after a few fun messages a comment was made directly to me, “I can’t wait to see what you are wearing on the day”… my response was, “Ah too much pressure! I will wear what I feel to on the day”. I couldn’t get this comment out of my mind… was this the reason I was invited?
When it Comes to Dressing Up I Don’t Hold Back.
I have felt this was my role, dressing to the nines so others feel better when out of their comfort zone. This was my niche – it was up to me to bring my ‘outer’ beauty.
Each day I started thinking about the event and began dressing with this style at work. I told myself and others at work that I was feeling inspired, but really I was practicing the look of perfection for the day.
Actually the first day I brought the style to work I was inspired – I lovingly put on my makeup, had fun creating a new hairstyle, felt my beautiful essence of a woman and placed on my outfit. I felt amazing – simply because of the way I had dressed myself.
The next day I didn’t really feel like dressing in the style of the event, but I did anyway. I thought it was important I did so I could feel into the perfect outfit on the day. Seriously Sheri, we can’t practice what we are going to feel on the day, but at the time this was the lie I was telling myself.
So, day four, it was the day before the big event and whilst I was doing my hair, putting on my makeup and finding a new outfit – I felt different. I decided to look in the mirror and work out what had changed.
- Why did I look different?
- What had happened?
My True Self felt Hidden.
My makeup looked hard, my hair just was not me and my outfit was a little more provocative. Oh sure I was fitting the look I was going for, however, my beautiful essence was not shining through.
I realised that I had painted on layers of perfection towards an image I thought I had to fulfill.
A reflection of hardness stared back at me in the mirror.
Each day and each moment I got ready I wasn’t getting ready for me or with me. I was getting ready for a different day. I was getting ready to meet a look, to meet an expectation.
At this point, feeling the hardness in my body and where my mind was at, I took a moment to just simply breathe. Breath to let go of the hardness I could feel. But I still felt like I kept getting caught up in my head – thoughts of me feeling as though this hardness was ok and that I just had to get on with it. I knew I didn’t have to feel this way. I wanted to feel like me, just as I knew myself to be at the beginning of the week.
I decided to get an Esoteric Massage. This helped me to bring myself back to me, to my true essence – I no longer felt the hardness in my body, as I allowed the self-imposed layers of perfection to simply melt away.
I can now see that ‘feeling into the day’ doesn’t mean I can’t plan what I want to wear, as this allows me more time on the day of an event. And it’s ok for people to look forward to seeing my outfit, because what people enjoy is the essence of me that I bring to that outfit.
So as it turns out, on the day of the event it was never about meeting an expectation or having a role – it was simply about enjoying the company of new people at an event we may all enjoy. How about this – I was invited just because of me. How beautiful, simple and true.