I am 60 years old this month and it feels great.
For a long time I didn’t want anyone to know how old I was. When I was younger being 60 and a woman meant you had grey hair, you were one of the ‘unseen’ women in the world who we knew were there but were ‘all washed up’, ‘given up and done with’. It’s dread-full that so many older women shut themselves down in this way when there is so much potential. I recall as a child the odd one or two old women who stood out – this was because they were loud, angry and demanding, and fighting for some cause or other or selling retirement insurance; either way role models that did not have a way of being that made you feel, ‘yes, I want to be that’. Being 60 was never something to aspire to but instead dread.
I have a feeling that I am an extraordinary woman.
I have the true vitality of a woman half my age. I get up most days at 4am, I work on projects I’m involved with and then go to my paid work from 8am until 6.30pm, sometimes I finish at 7 or 8pm. I don’t drink coffee or tea, I don’t snack on sugar, cakes, crisps or chocolate to get me through the day, I don’t need a glass or a bottle of wine at the end of the day – none of the usual supports that are sought after to cope with work are a part of my life.
I’m sometimes stopped in my tracks by my amazingness, catching myself in the mirror or simply feeling how it is to be with me. I love how I am learning to be honest with myself and how I love to expose what isn’t me, what patterns of behaviour keep me from being connected with my inner-most. Yes it’s uncomfortable to do that but I celebrate how much more me I feel when I can let go of the control of those patterns.
When I first came across Universal Medicine 8 years ago in 2005 at the age of 52, for me it was all about healing all the things I’d let in that were not me at all. Now I recognise it is all about accepting the living beauty I am and in-truth was all of the time, I’d just not allowed myself to feel it before, not let myself be me.
Now I treasure being with me.
For me, every photo of me at 33 shows how much I was ‘given-up’ and I looked older at 45 than I do now, how is that possible? The changes I have made in my life make this possible. Such as accepting that all the anger I held against everyone in the world was actually anger at me and the choices I had made, I was just scapegoating the world in fury at my own choices.
For example, I chose to let go of my deep self-loathing, recognising that it was a choice to self-loath and a choice not to, just as much as it was a choice to accept my-self and a choice not to, a choice to be this gorgeous woman that I am or a choice not to. To say to my-self in regard to ‘my patterns’ – “I am NOT accepting that in my life anymore, it’s NOT acceptable!”.
The recognition of the power of choice
and how power-full we really are to make these choices
– has transformed my life. I have used tools such as these that I have learned with Universal Medicine to change my life. Before I was bitter, hard and angry, now I breathe my own gentle breath. I have developed a rhythm in the way I live – a way of living that is very strong and it supports me to live my way and to be a true support for others as a result.
I love to walk as the gorgeous woman I am, to walk down the street with a gentle sway in my hips, gentle move of my shoulders and my head straight – I have a feeling that I am re-imprinting what it is to be a 60 year old woman.
It is gorgeous to be me at this glorious age of 60 and I would not trade it in for anything the world has to offer, nothing it offers could be as great as how I feel living me.
My beingness is inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.