by Luz Helena Hincapie, 35 years, BA Architect, Colombia, South America
Something changed when I started attending Universal Medicine courses, and in particular, when I heard about the Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM). I remember I felt something unusually special, for some reason I didn’t feel suspicious or think it was strange, I felt I just wanted to find out more, and I did.
The words mentioned in relation to the Esoteric Breast Massage:
all resonated with something inside of me, something I felt I was deeply longing for.
Because I already felt the integrity in all of Universal Medicine events, Esoteric Breast Massages (EBMs) were something I wanted to give myself the chance to discover. It was a graceful moment! I began the process of connecting back to my breasts, realising and feeling them as an integral part of my body, and they revealed so many things about me and the impact of the way I have been living my life. My numbed body surprisingly started to speak to me.
I couldn’t believe I had been living in my body for so long without realizing how it really felt.
I was surprised to find out how different my left side felt from my right side. I was not aware either, that all of my behaviors, insecurities, fears, and ways of protection could be felt physically, and they all had a manifestation in my body.
MY BREASTS WERE PART OF A MAP OF MYSELF!
They revealed all the motion and raciness in which I’ve been living, and how much in mental activity I have been, depending on what I thought rather than trusting what I felt (trusting myself).
I was a woman in survival mode, abuse and self-neglect.
The true woman was buried somewhere: my sensitivity and tenderness were battered, distorted into emotional dramas, neediness and self-loathing. The woman within was not yet claimed, and I got to feel how I was walking through life as a hurt little girl longing for attention and acceptance. The EBMs were an amazing support in this process of self-discovery and a massive STOP that allowed me to start feeling my body again, providing a willingness to treat it with much more care and gentleness. The EBMs connected me back with a tenderness, a vulnerability and a loveliness to those same qualities within myself. I found so much strength in me as a result. My anxiousness and fears stopped being overlooked, unwanted and a mystery; they became things that I could feel without reacting to them and that I could honor. This on its own was amazingly empowering and taught me to self-respect again.
Having EBM’s offered me a time of immense growth and supported my re-connection to me. I learned that all of me was important and I could not ignore any part of me, taking time to feel my body allowed me to catch any emotions which I was running, nominate them and then choose to be more caring and gentle with myself.
This commitment to me has had many turns and twists and I can go through periods of on and off, where there are some days when I catch myself avoiding looking at my breasts in the mirror, or feeling how they are – I do not feel a great regard for myself in those moments; I then can also feel how I am also evading or escaping. I can now see that these are old ways of looking and judging my breasts as strange, ungraceful pieces of the body. I now know they are a great part of me, they support me in my re-connection back to my body and they reflect back the relationship I have with myself. I can ignore no part of me, every part of me speaks of my relationship with me.
If I don’t like my breasts, it is more that I don’t really like myself in general.
Because I don’t allow myself to stay in this unnoticed disregard for a very long time, I now enjoy stopping and get to feel the tenderness and loveliness of my breasts again. My resistance to accept them and accept myself stops and I choose to align back to gentleness and self-love, soon after I get to feel an appreciation for my body as it is. And the unfolding continues.
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