My Teenage Years – Discovering What are Periods Really About

Anonymous, UK

I want to share an aspect of the journey I have been on with my periods and my relationship with them. There are many chapters to the story of where I now stand as a woman and I will cover those in later blogs.

I have had my periods for a few years now, so not very long. In the years before getting my first period I felt an enormous pressure to have a period. I remember most of the pressure wasn’t spoken and it mainly came from myself, but there was one girl who openly told me that at the age of 12/13 not having my periods was weird, and that there was something wrong with me.

Looking back I know without a doubt that this was utter rubbish. I remember very well the difficulty of going through puberty in high school/middle school, and that it was at this time that most girls’ body issues began.

When my period did begin I couldn’t see the fuss this girl had been making. All the buildup in my body was released and left me unsure if this was in fact something I wanted. My first period was short, light and painless.

But from there my periods got heavier, longer and seriously painful. I was on large amounts of painkillers and unable to sleep properly. I was off school for a week at a time, knocked flat on my back. The pain made me physically sick and very weak. Some periods continued for a very long time, the longest being around 2 weeks. My periods didn’t have a rhythm, I could miss a month or have two in one month; my cycles were all over the place. The experience was not a pleasant one. I dreaded my periods and saw them as something to get past. I went to the doctors to get help and was prescribed the pill, or a form of it. It worked at stopping my period, but I only used it the once because I didn’t want a solution that didn’t really fix anything. The pain got so bad that mum even considered the option offered of taking me to hospital to give me morphine to try and help the pain, but we never went there.

I then started to have Esoteric Healing sessions with Sara Williams and Natalie Benhayon. In these sessions I started to get an understanding of my periods as a way for my body to clear the buildup in my month. This buildup was like an accumulation of all the choices I was making that were disregarding or harmful to my body, like the way I lived my rhythms.

With my Practitioners, a program was built where I started writing a period diary and later upgraded to using the Our Cycles Period and Full Moon Diary App on my phone. By doing this I could begin to see that there is a reason my periods were the way they were and that it was my day-to-day choices that would change them. In short, I discovered I had been at war with my own body and that because of issues I had around my father I was rejecting myself as a woman, so it only made sense that the thing that was a major part of being a woman – my periods – would be so difficult and painful.

For me, when I thought about changing my day-to-day choices, the first thing I thought of was school, but I also needed to address my rhythms outside of school and the way I treated myself. I was very invested in my friends and the want to fit in was a constant drive at school, which came from my insecurities. But I finally realized something that changed my perspective. I’m not sure I can word this correctly, because it’s a personal discovery – basically, I had to make a choice: my health, or fitting in with my friends.

My realization came with the fact that I saw that by trying to fit in with my friends I was having to learn how to behave differently, talk differently etc. and that these things happen so subtly you hardly notice the changes, so you think it is just the way your personality is. Then I pictured my life a few years down the line, when school was over and I was out in the real world. I wouldn’t know them anymore, and if I did, in the scale of things, the friendship becomes significantly less crucial. They won’t remember me and yet, it’s me that will have to live with the consequences of the choices I made at school, where nothing seems more important than fitting in. I started to see school as a very small part of my life and made a commitment to not give up my self, my health or my wellbeing for potentially all my life.

I also had to look at my life outside of school:

  • My sleep
  • My food
  • My routine
  • My attitude towards my body and the way I treated it

It’s not perfect even now, but my willingness to bring focus to it and refine it constantly meant important changes were made. I started working after school and this commitment to a job meant I couldn’t take weeks off for my periods, I had to be consistent. I also couldn’t avoid hard work because of my period, so I had to find a way to do what needed to be done without compromising my body.

I actually found that in the beginning when my periods were still bad, having something to focus on made me focus less on the pain and that helped me.

Slowly over time my periods have improved. They now follow a rhythm in which they are shorter and lighter. I am down to almost no painkillers, and those are just precautionary so I’m not caught out. My periods no longer knock me flat every month and they are something I look forward to – a part of who I am.

I have made the choice that it is my body and I am going to take control of my periods by making great choices in life that support me and make me available to support others. Now I welcome my period as a beautiful part of my life. 

295 thoughts on “My Teenage Years – Discovering What are Periods Really About

  1. “My realization came with the fact that I saw that by trying to fit in with my friends I was having to learn how to behave differently, talk differently etc. and that these things happen so subtly you hardly notice the changes” Great observations – you speak for most of the populations.
    When we do get this realisation it is the start of great healing.

  2. There’s two key sharings for all of us here … do we fit in to the detriment of our health or do we take care of ourselves … when it’s presented that starkly, it really asks us what is more important, and in fact what are those friends getting if we don’t look after ourselves. Secondly it’s not about indulging ourselves and taking weeks out, it’s about living in the world and being responsible and finding ways to support ourselves when we feel fragile so we can do this. A beautiful reminder for all of us of what commitment to ourselves and life is about.

  3. We truly have wandered far from honouring the truth of who we are as women and the sacred valve of our cycles and the wisdom it offers us all, so we can deepen in living our innate power. The more we connect to and listen to the intelligence of our body, where and why there is discomfort, be honesty with what we feel, the more we will free ourselves to return to live the power of our innate sacredness.

  4. After a four year absence my periods have come back, currently with no.3 since they returned and I didn’t have any understanding that the way I live reflects in what my body does during this shedding time. Shedding not just a inner lining but the energy of how I have been living if that energy has not been loving. Now I feel like I am having to restart and rebuild my relationship with my periods from scratch now that I do have this awareness and it is seen as something to appreciate even if there are moments of intense pain, it’s all showing me something.

  5. I too was one of the last to get my period and felt the pressure to ‘be grown up’ but also the fear of not feeling ready to embrace what I perceived as ‘being a woman’ entailed so I did my best to ignore my periods once they started and used tampons and was grateful that for the most part my periods were not painful so I made no effort to adjust my life which had greater consequences later on.
    It is inspirational that you were willing to look at all of your patterns and how you cared for yourself and this is an amazing reflection not just for your friends but also for women everywhere including those like me who are post menopausal but still refining how to deeply care for myself.

  6. From this blog you can feel there is pressure before a girl starts to menstruate. It’s all about what is considered normal, rather than all of us accepting that we have our own start times and process with our periods. There would be a lot less tension if we accepted our body knows what it’s doing and not feel pressured by the norms that others create.

  7. I love your responsibility and commitment to self here, many people could learn much from your example, ‘I also had to look at my life outside of school:
    My sleep
    My food
    My routine
    My attitude towards my body and the way I treated it’.

  8. Great to highlight how important it is to listen to our body and refine the way we are living and our choices to align to the harmony of our body’s natural rhythm and we appreciate feeling how our body responds when we truly nurture and support ourselves.

  9. What is so super remarkable about the Esoteric Women’s Health and what Natalie Benhayon is sharing with us is turning the dogmatic ingrained way of being as women with our periods and offering a totally new way of experience what the cycle is offering us. Who knew you didn’t need to be a teenager to understand and listen to what the body is showing us. We are never to old to re-imprint with the honouring of what we best know how to do and be with.

  10. I love your strong claiming here, ‘I have made the choice that it is my body and I am going to take control of my periods by making great choices in life that support me and make me available to support others.’

    1. Yes in choosing to take responsibility for your choices you are also recognising that this means you are also able to support others which is a beautiful reflection.

  11. How we live on a daily basis, and the choices we make have a big impact on our body as you showed with your experience in this blog.

  12. I enjoyed reading about your realization with regard to ‘fitting in’ with your peers at school. Knowing that after you leave school you would still have to live with the consequences of the choices you had made. Peer pressures can feel very strong in school and the choice between health and fitting in may not always be as easy as it seems.

  13. I had an aha moment reading this and feeling how right now I have made how I fit in at work the thing in the same way as you describe school … yes this has improved significantly but it’s about the fact that I can still compromise my body to fit in and I’m left to wear that, so you remind me to take it deeper and consider what I need to do in all of my life to support me and all my life commitments work and all. Thank you.

  14. This is a remarkable turnaround and shows us how such miracles are not only possible but very simple once we take responsibility and make choices that are honouring of our body.

  15. “I could begin to see that there is a reason my periods were the way they were and that it was my day-to-day choices that would change them.” Many women are aware of their periods via the pain and or discomfort they feel during the month, but many also do not know that it is via our way of moving and living everyday that we then determine how we will feel during our period too. Having learnt more and more about my body over time via listening more intently and attending many awesome events via Esoteric Women’s Health and Universal Medicine have I felt a shift in how I feel about myself but also how I live everyday in support of my body. it is only when I paused to really get honest and explore my daily rhythms that I found out how important it is to truly make the space for me and how I feel in every moment.

  16. Thank you for sharing Anonymous. I particularly liked how you related your periods to the bigger picture and also kept committing to life to have a focus and bring life to you and not be owned by it. “I actually found that in the beginning when my periods were still bad, having something to focus on made me focus less on the pain and that helped me.”

  17. Loved reading your blog, and how you have learnt to take responsibility for the way you live, your choices and how they impact on your body, our periods are a great marker as to how we have been living from the period before, and gives us a great opportunity to learn to live in a more loving and tender way.

  18. It is awesome that you have been supported to feel how your periods reflect how you have been living and how you can actively choose to support yourself and the commitment you have had to changing every aspect of your life. That you were able to take the long view and recognise that the person that is most hurt when we choose to ignore our bodies is in order to fit in is ourselves is great as this carries on throughout our lives although not as intensely as during our teenage years.

  19. Our period is a gateway to understanding our relationship with the Universe. Imagine if we were taught that as young girls.

    1. Yes Vicky how exquisite it would be and what an expansive and inspiring way in which girls could learn more about their bodies and the wisdom held within the beauty of their bodies. Awesome thank you.

  20. While I was in my late teens and early twenties I regarded my period as being a nuisance placing that which was going on around me before what was going on within my body. I am now 46 years old and look forward to my period and what it is showing me every month. I am open to sharing with my husband and family when I’m due and when I come on my period if necessary as I feel it is a normal and natural part of every day life.

  21. It’s a blessing that we actually have a mechanism through which we can understand how far we have drifted from ourselves. Whether we choose to work with what our cycles show us is another matter.

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