Deepening Self Nurturing – Developing Connection with Me

by Emily Billsborough, Wollongbar, Australia

Over the past couple of months I have been developing my relationship with nurturing and what nurturing truly means to me in my life. Each moment is full of different interactions between people, environments and situations. We could put this all down to being part of daily life.

I began to ask myself what happens to me in these moments (daily life) when something that I don’t like occurs, or if I react to my partner, family member, friend, colleague, a stressful situation at work, home, at the shopping centre etc.?

  • Do I feel stressed, angry, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated? Or do I still feel like my amazing, lovely and beautiful self?
  • Do I ever stop throughout the day to feel what is happening and how I feel when experiencing all of these different feelings, activities, relationships and situations?

How do I cope with what has happened if I have had a ‘bad’ day?

For example, if I had a busy day at work, things weren’t flowing and I was feeling stressed I can find myself being quite hard and driving to get everything done.

Or I may use another activity, such as eating, to cope.

It feels like I can go into an autopilot mode that I have trained or conditioned myself to go into, to not feel what has happened throughout the day and instead use the activity or emotion to override all of my other feelings.

However, over the past few months, I have been working on nurturing. Instead of continuing in the reaction or numbing away from myself, I have begun to introduce moments to allow myself to stop, feel and reflect on what has happened and how I am feeling.

With this knowing I can then choose what I need to do for myself in that very moment: such as taking myself for a walk, drinking a cup of tea and having a bath. Another great tool that I have found to create and make myself a time to stop, reflect and celebrate myself is the use of the Our Cycles Period and Full Moon Diary App.

I use this application to write notes on how I am feeling – my symptoms, moods and feelings – by using its daily journal.

These activities can be to stop the stressful or ‘bad’ situation from continuing on with me. These activities aren’t based on a set list that I refer to from time to time.

Instead they are based on a knowing of what I need to do in the very moment to bring myself back to me. It isn’t about “setting a time” to check in, but allowing myself to live in a rhythm that creates nurturing spaces as needed throughout my day or week.

What if I have had an amazing day and was feeling great?

I still make time to reflect on how my day was and how I feel.

I use nurturing activities to confirm and celebrate me!

And therefore deepen my nurturing of myself.

208 thoughts on “Deepening Self Nurturing – Developing Connection with Me

  1. By taking care of and nurturing ourselves we are able to observe the chaos around us while staying steady within ourselves.

  2. The more we hone our focus on honouring our connection to our essence and with what feels true through the details of our daily living, when we are met with a potentially challenging situation as life presents, we are simply guided by our inner-knowing as to what is needed next and our response is no different than the honouring of what is true from the truth that we feel in our body as we normally do.

  3. Appreciating ourselves is deeply nurturing, and easily missed in a busy day unless we appreciate ourselves enough to make the space.

  4. It is so worth moving within our natural rhythm as it makes what we do flow with a simplicity, steadiness and ease the more we stay in connection with our body and how we are feeling, honouring our body by stopping and resting when needed maintains our connection to our rhythm and is deeply nurturing for our whole being.

  5. That simple act of stopping for a moment, just to feel what’s going on, can be so supportive in avoiding those old momentums of just carrying on, numbing ourselves to what we can feel, playing out. We try to avoid uncomfortable feelings by covering them up, but then they just still end up somewhere in the body, buried to deal with on another day. Staying with ourselves, paying close attention to how we feel, is actually a gift we can offer ourselves and our bodies: without all that extra baggage and effort of trying not to feel what we don’t want to feel, we are clearer and lighter and better equipped and prepared to deal with life.

  6. It is lovely to read that even when you have amazing days and feel great that you still choose to deepen your nurturing of self, ‘I still make time to reflect on how my day was and how I feel.
    I use nurturing activities to confirm and celebrate me!
    And therefore deepen my nurturing of myself.’

    1. Great point Lorraine as nurturing and honoring ourselves is not something we just do when we feel ‘off’ or need to ‘bring ourselves back’ but a constant opportunity to confirm the depth of who we are and the sacredness we are in essence.

  7. We use many things to numb ourselves, and so not have to feel what is truly going on, ‘It feels like I can go into an autopilot mode that I have trained or conditioned myself to go into, to not feel what has happened throughout the day and instead use the activity or emotion to override all of my other feelings.’

  8. The organic nature of this feels super supportive ‘allowing myself to live in a rhythm that creates nurturing spaces as needed throughout my day or week.’ Allowing yourself the space to feel what is needed and acting on it.

  9. I’ve been using this app for years now and I love it. At first it was at a set time and very rigid but now I do it as part of my everyday support. I know things have gone super wobbly if I haven’t checked in with myself that day. And using it to appreciate myself every day is also a super supportive tool.

  10. It is allowing ourselves the space to be and move freely between our thoughts that nurtures us and allows us to connect more deeply to who we truly are.

  11. Thank you Emily, I found this so supportive to read again today. I definitely need more stop moments to check in with how I feel and then choose whatever nurturing activities are needed throughout my day. Very inspiring to read.

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