True Nurturing – The Way I Return to Me

by Adrienne Ryan, Brisbane, Australia

I went to a presentation for women today hosted by Jenny Ellis and Mary Louise Myers from Universal Medicine. What was shared there about ‘True Nurturing’ inspired me deeply…

Nurturing is something I had begun to invest in by taking time to be attentive to what was needed to support me throughout my day. Before this, I can see how my way of life was designed to waste no time: a 2 minute shower, 5 minute dressed and ready to go, multi-task my way through many things at once, not wasting time painting my nails or spending too much time on my hair or paying too much attention to what to wear on an ‘ordinary’ day, and so on. In all this speedy efficiency there was no quality time, no space for just enjoying being with me – it was all about ‘moving on’, ‘getting things done’, ‘not holding other people up’, or ‘not taking up too much of their time or space’ and certainly not indulging in any perceived self-absorbed frivolous-ness or girlie-ness – these were just big unnecessary, indulgent, time wasters.

But today things are different. I have come to love making time to take my time getting ready for the day, tenderly and lovingly looking after myself, enjoying putting on makeup and clothes that highlight (not hide) my beauty and womanliness. I make time to take my time now, and because I do I get to enjoy the feeling of me – the loveliness that is within me – and I notice that I don’t want to brush this off, dismiss, diminish, play it down, reject or deny my innate preciousness anymore. Instead I want to honour it, embrace it and confirm the truth of it: I am worth TIME.

Today at the Brisbane Women’s Presentation I discovered yet a deeper level to nurturing that begins accepting nothing less than a full connection to the complete beauty and loveliness I am. Feeling ‘ok’ or even ‘better’ are steps in the right direction but there is more, there is a place much deeper and clearer and fuller within if I choose to make it my normal.

I realised I’d come to accept that I could indeed feel amazing, but did not (for one minute) expect this feeling to last, or entertain the possibility that it could be my experience every-single-day. To me ‘this amazingfullness’,  where everything within  me flowed effortlessly and in perfect time, was something very special that came and went – a pinnacle I could reach but not sustain or live at…. struggling to reach it, only to tumble and slide down and begin the climb back once more. But, from what was presented by Mary-Louise and Jenny, I realised that it doesn’t have to be this way… there is more, and I’ve been inspired to ponder deeper and consider some previously unthinkable questions:

  • What if our natural, everyday state of being is this ‘amazing’ or deep sense of joyful contentment?
  • What if it is not only possible, but actually NORMAL to feel this connection to the bone every moment of every day?
  • What if settling for anything less than the deeply amazing ‘delicate-full-ness’ we naturally are, actually rejects it and keeps it at bay?
  • What if this deep connection is not a pinnacle to be reached-for, but a daily foundation upon which to live, express and develop from?
  • And what if this is just ordinary, but because we have travelled so far away from it, it now seems unreal, impossible and even unnatural?

I am learning that True Nurturing opens the way to the possible reality of living connected to the warm and flowing ‘sunshine’ I can feel within me ­– not just on special occasions – but always.

I’ve noticed that what gets in the way of this flow, what stops it, what sabotages its natural vitality, are the self-doubting thoughts about my worthiness which come in, and when I follow them they leave me less than this amazing fullness; they diminish and darken the great light I am whenever I slip and let them in. Thoughts such as:

  • You’re not really that great
  • You’re ahead of your self’
  • You’re not good enough yet
  • You’ve still got issues
  • It can’t be that simple – you have to work hard to get there, let alone stay there
  • You’re kidding yourself, who do you think you are?
  • There are others around you who are there, but they’re better than you, they’ve got ‘it’
  • You are still working through your stuff’ etc. etc.!

Yet what I’ve noted today is that these doubtful, way-laying thoughts no longer hold strong as I can easily see that the quality of energy they come from is clearly not love. This act in itself is true self-nurturing for it accepts nothing less than the energy of love I know myself to truly be. Sure I have issues, but I am not my issues, and it is this understanding that allows me to accept imperfection and awesomeness all at once. How amazing is that? It no longer becomes an either/ or situation, but a completeness that comes from knowing ALL of me – the warts and the roses – and accepting ALL of me in full. The focus shifts from what’s lacking to the abundance of ALL that is there and the simple loveliness of it.

From this knowing of myself, anything less stands out and the familiar thoughts of  “I’ll just…..’:

  • have that extra bit of food (even though I can feel I’ve had enough to eat)
  • stay up a little longer to finish this movie (even though my body is ready for sleep)
  • stay on at the shops (when really I’ve had enough)
  • squeeze something in (even though my day is already full)
  • say yes to something (when I feel to say no); brush off an amazing moment (instead of allowing myself to acknowledge it)
  • not stopping (when something doesn’t feel right)
  • leaving something nearly finished (instead of completing it when I have the opportunity to)
  • comparing myself to another (instead of being inspired by their amazingness AND knowing it is a reflection of my own equally)….

These and a million other ways are what I have come to know through experience as being ‘connection cutters’ – things I used to disconnect me from the amazingfullness that is present within me. Because I couldn’t accept it, I found ways to reject it.

True Nurturing for me is about honouring the beauty within IN FULL, not just in part but ALL of it (actually, I AM Amazing).  Once connected to, it has its own way of being that flows along, automatically impulsing choices that sustain and deepen the loveliness and its powerfulness as long as I continue to accept that I am this grand, and it is this simple to be so. When I doubt myself it is easy to wobble into old habits that diminish, lessen, reduce, dismiss, dilute or let this amazingness go, like a dream I had but now can’t re-call.

There is no accident to the set up that has made it easy for me to live short of the fullness of me. There are forces at work in the world that encourage a way of living that is small, nice and disconnected  (I’m always needing some reward or relief when living this way – like chips, chocolate, ice-cream, a movie… or some version of all of them!). But there is another way that says always:

“You are more, you are Amazing, You are Everything Already”

And all I have to do is love myself enough to claim it, to say YES without reservation, doubt or delay, to re-connect with the deep Love I am and let this way of being be my way, no more, no less.  True Nurturing is saying YES to ALL, not just a little or a lot, but all of it.

Beyond the yumminess of feeling this way, it is easy to see that the world is thirsty for women in their fullness and the ways of living life that this fullness brings – ways innately known that nurture truly, deeply and consistently; inviting, inspiring, and allowing others to  also connect to the simple beauty within and live from this most natural place.

 

296 thoughts on “True Nurturing – The Way I Return to Me

  1. I used to pride myself in being a ‘low maintenance’ woman – similar to what Adrienne has shared in the blog – dressed and ready for the day in 5 minutes. I used to think it was frivolous and a waste of time to do my nails or to put on make up or to spend more than a few minutes thinking about what to wear. My cupboard was only full of practical and useful clothes such as shorts, overalls and t shirts and runners (as shoes). Thankfully over the years this has changed and I now enjoy picking out what I will wear and will also take the time to put on some makeup when I feel like it (which really is most days!)… this is thanks to the inspiration of other women who look after themselves because they know they are worth it and that there is so much more to like than just being functional.

  2. Taking time for oneself and making the space to be with oneself to do all the little nurturing and self caring touches really are a way to re-fuel for the day – having chosen the dress or the specific colour that we wanted to wear for the day, having taken a moment to do the little touches that we love (make up or body cream or a favorite perfume etc) all support us to feel so much more loved and cared that it gives us more energy in our day…we are well worth the investment.

  3. Thank you Adrienne for this great article that highlights the way we can have thoughts that keep us from feeling our magnificence and living it fully, to the point where it no longer feels normal to live who we are… and yet there is a way to reverse this and return to our natural and true way of living and being.

  4. True nurturing as it’s here presented is a choice that embraces all aspects of our life. It’s not a ‘me time’ where we can do whatever we want to fill ourselves or to relief the tensions and anxiousness from the day, but a consistent routine that allows and confirms the natural flow of connection with the beauty within ourselves. No perfection is recquired, just a simple choice.

  5. The Women in Livingness presentations like this are gold. Women sharing from their experience about the depth and beauty they have embodied in their daily life. They inspire me greatly, not because are more special, but what they present feels so true and accessible for all.

  6. ” I have come to love making time to take my time getting ready for the day, tenderly and lovingly looking after myself” I too used to do things supposedly to nurture myself but was just going through the motions…… To appreciate myself and enjoy nurturing myself brought a new quality to my ‘doingness’ – and felt completely different – of course!

  7. To be aware and have understanding for the forces that want to bring me down or create separation between another and myself is a godsend; observation is a forever deepening and unfolding of the love to be lived from within me.

  8. I remember getting frustrated over the constant barrage of thoughts and how I believed I was a victim of them and couldn’t stop them. Reading this today I smile as I know that they aren’t more powerful than me and it’s how I live that lets them be experienced or not.

  9. The truth of what nurturing is, came to me quite late in my life, and when it did, I quickly realised how little nurturing I had give myself over the years. But as the saying goes, ‘better late than never’ and today it has become a natural part of my life, with no perfection, simply a commitment to care for myself as deeply as I possibly can.

    1. Beautifully said Ingrid – nothing wrong with applying this late in life, as it is simply about applying it when we realise that we have not embraced something that supports us as women to the bone. I too feel like it was very late in life that I cottoned on to this lack of deep care and nurturing which really has stemmed from the lack of self worth I was in (and still am finding pockets of). But turning it around has been the greatest give to myself as well as the whole family and my circle of friends and all.

  10. “What if our natural, everyday state of being is this ‘amazing’ or deep sense of joyful contentment?” Hang on there, this is not what they tell you in the TV programs, news stories, Films. Could it be there are so many distractions around us encouraging us to not connect to the deep well of contentment and amazingness?

  11. Nurturing is the icing on the cake that makes everything I do feel like more than a task. I discovered practical self-care which made a huge difference in my life. But it was adding the quality of movement and the way I treat myself that made another big change. For instance, brushing my teeth became an opportunity to be delicate with myself (instead of scrubbing!). The more I do it with openness, the more there is to re-discover.

  12. I am learning to understand and accept that there are forces at work in the world doing their best to keep everything and everyone small and contracted and it is for me to learn to see this energy at play so that I am not fooled or taken in by it, to live in a way that is being true to who I am in essence.

  13. As it stands at the moment the women who are in the high flying power jobs tend to have got there though a drive that somewhat exhausts them and leaves their body compromised. True power will always come from within and will never abuse self or any other to get there.

  14. Rather than be bolstered up a for a short time by a weekend workshop, what is expressed here is development of your own self worth and care which supports lasting wellbeing.

  15. We all have a body that is Divine as we all innately are and up holding that and honouring that in all you do with no compromise is what true nurturing is all about.

  16. As I read your words it occurs to me how precious quality in movement is. And how this does not need to be given huge amounts of time, but rather, simply appreciated for the moments where true nurturing has taken place, even if just for a moment, this is still a droplet of pure gold in the constantly moving ocean of life.

  17. What I found about nurturing — it is a deeply loving quality that is consistently called for when you responding to the call for yourself and also, to go deeper with the quality is also nurturing and not repeating the same nurturing act over and over again in the same motions.

  18. Very inspiring Adrienne I feel more aware of the space around me and how I can allow for more space within, keeping things light and moving in a quality that honours the preciousness yet still holds the authority of my body.

  19. What if how we have been living is not it, what if it is about our quality and what we bring to what we do, ‘In all this speedy efficiency there was no quality time, no space for just enjoying being with me – it was all about ‘moving on’, ‘getting things done’, ‘not holding other people up’, or ‘not taking up too much of their time’.

  20. ‘When I doubt myself it is easy to wobble into old habits that diminish, lessen, reduce, dismiss, dilute or let this amazingness go, like a dream I had but now can’t re-call.’ Reading your blog I wonder why do I let this happen and not go for this ‘sunshine’ flow inside us? On the other had in an instant we can make another choice and connect back to the simplicitiy of the love we are.

  21. I love this connection you have made between not accepting and rejecting. And this is important because the rejection seems to take things much deeper and make them more personal, which also seems to have a far more damaging affect.

  22. Here’s to being amazingly imperfect and committing to truly nurturing ourselves at all times. Thanks for the inspiration Adrienne.

    1. Gorgeous Elizabeth, absolutely true and that amazing feeling of loveliness makes us realise the importance of getting back to ourselves when we feel disconnected; a beautiful marker in which to live our lives by.

  23. Through building a deeper and more nurturing relationship with ourselves, the more committed we are in not pushing our body out of its natural harmony and rhythm.

    1. It is all about learning to listen to the body and heed its needs – for the body may appear to be just a simple vehicle, but it is the vehicle of expression for our Soul.

  24. This is a great realisation to have, that when these self doubting thoughts come in, recognising the thoughts as an energy that I’ve let in, being responsible for them, as we are naturally joyful and amazing, ‘Yet what I’ve noted today is that these doubtful, way-laying thoughts no longer hold strong as I can easily see that the quality of energy they come from is clearly not love. This act in itself is true self-nurturing for it accepts nothing less than the energy of love I know myself to truly be.’

  25. What a gorgeous realisation and confirmation you came to, ‘I make time to take my time now, and because I do I get to enjoy the feeling of me – the loveliness that is within me – and I notice that I don’t want to brush this off, dismiss, diminish, play it down, reject or deny my innate preciousness anymore. Instead I want to honour it, embrace it and confirm the truth of it: I am worth TIME.’

  26. A nurturing way with ourselves, supports us to to feel more of who we are and let go of who we are not. What I have realised is that there is no where to get to, nothing to achieve and I don’t need to become more of anything, for everything is already there and nurturing is a continuously deepening step to connect to this even more. Its also more and more enjoyable for our bodies relish being nurtured.

    1. Yes letting go of their being a goal to reach is key and enjoying a continuously deepening connection with ourselves is a beautiful way to approach life.

  27. When we look at the world today we realise just how far we have moved away from our truly nurturing nature and how incredibly important it is to make this foundational in our lives.

  28. When reading this ‘accepting nothing less than a full connection to the complete beauty and loveliness I am.’ I could feel an ‘oh’ moment … in that I do not do this. Which is fine .. it is not to beat myself up but instead an opportunity to see that I can work towards this (or allow myself to truly live this and in truth there is nothing to work ‘towards’ rather only return back to who we innately are). But I can appreciate how I am starting to bring more and more things in to support and nurture me; one being buying a bubble jet foot spa that keeps the water heated, filling this up with magnesium flakes and letting my feet have a beautifull soak 💕

  29. I find that I step out of this quality when I don’t honour what I feel in each moment and react to situations. This then drains me and leaves me less due to the lack of expression.

  30. ” I discovered yet a deeper level to nurturing that begins accepting nothing less than a full connection to the complete beauty and loveliness I am. Feeling ‘ok’ or even ‘better’ are steps in the right direction but there is more,” beautiful. Learning that we already have everything we need inside us and can connect to the stars makes me wonder why so much money is spent on travelling to other planets in search of life when so few of us have deeply explored the life within and the riches that offers us.

  31. Oh I can so relate to the staying at the shops longer than you need too comment. When I go shopping something kicks in and I find I spend the whole day there. I dont just look at the one or two items of clothing I went in for but want to look at all of my favourite shops and see what is there. I can feel that I use this as a reward if I have been working a lot but not doing it in a way that supports me or sometimes I use it as a way to avoid work.

  32. Allowing ourselves the space to enjoy being present with ourselves and to deeply nurture our body ensures we bring a true quality to our whole way of being and to everything we need to do.

  33. Gosh, when I read articles like this I am connected back to a quality that I deeply know, I don’t always live it, but I deeply know it.

  34. Thank you for this Adrienne . . . “True Nurturing is saying YES to ALL, not just a little or a lot, but all of it.” . . . yes, yes and yes, not just a little but all of it. This is true commitment without judgement!

  35. Those self-negating thoughts can really stops us from connecting to our truth of who we are and make us seem like our whole life is an issue. Something really important that you said Adrienne is that “we are not our issues”. Sure we have things that arise in life to work through but there is no need to judge ourselves based on this. It could be said that this is easier said than done. But the more we nurture and tend to ourselves with great care and attention to detail and know that we do deserve to care for ourselves in this way, then the more likely we will find this easier and easier.

  36. It makes sense that accepting the all that I am is more joyfull than ignoring the parts I don’t want to see. Because I feel like no matter what part I am good at or that I like theres a sense of something missing. But that something missing is often underneath the warts I’ve chosen to ignore!

  37. Our thoughts can destroy us, which is kind of incredible to consider that something inside us can attack us, but it makes sense when we consider thoughts are just energy that we can choose to allow or not.

  38. Adrienne, this is very beautiful and a great reminder to take into my day; “You are more, you are Amazing, You are Everything Already”.

  39. Expression is also a form of nurturing: how we talk to ourselves, how we hold ourselves, and therefore what we express about what we’re feeling: do we judge ourselves, hold ourselves as less than another, or see ourselves as absolutely equal to, and as amazing as, all others?

  40. Nurturing is truly caring for our bodies in a deeply loving way and it is an honouring of the knowing that our body is a vehicle for the expression of the soul on earth.

  41. Nurturing for myself has begun with the simplicity of moving myself in the appreciation of all I am while I move. It is something so simple but while your present with your body you feel what is next in the same movement –> life becomes a flow.

  42. A beautiful realisation Adrienne, in being attentive to what is needed by our body and honouring how we are feeling enables us to reconnect to and deepen our natural nurturing expression and way of being.

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.