by Adrienne Ryan, Brisbane, Australia
I went to a presentation for women today hosted by Jenny Ellis and Mary Louise Myers from Universal Medicine. What was shared there about ‘True Nurturing’ inspired me deeply…
Nurturing is something I had begun to invest in by taking time to be attentive to what was needed to support me throughout my day. Before this, I can see how my way of life was designed to waste no time: a 2 minute shower, 5 minute dressed and ready to go, multi-task my way through many things at once, not wasting time painting my nails or spending too much time on my hair or paying too much attention to what to wear on an ‘ordinary’ day, and so on. In all this speedy efficiency there was no quality time, no space for just enjoying being with me – it was all about ‘moving on’, ‘getting things done’, ‘not holding other people up’, or ‘not taking up too much of their time or space’ and certainly not indulging in any perceived self-absorbed frivolous-ness or girlie-ness – these were just big unnecessary, indulgent, time wasters.
But today things are different. I have come to love making time to take my time getting ready for the day, tenderly and lovingly looking after myself, enjoying putting on makeup and clothes that highlight (not hide) my beauty and womanliness. I make time to take my time now, and because I do I get to enjoy the feeling of me – the loveliness that is within me – and I notice that I don’t want to brush this off, dismiss, diminish, play it down, reject or deny my innate preciousness anymore. Instead I want to honour it, embrace it and confirm the truth of it: I am worth TIME.
Today at the Brisbane Women’s Presentation I discovered yet a deeper level to nurturing that begins accepting nothing less than a full connection to the complete beauty and loveliness I am. Feeling ‘ok’ or even ‘better’ are steps in the right direction but there is more, there is a place much deeper and clearer and fuller within if I choose to make it my normal.
I realised I’d come to accept that I could indeed feel amazing, but did not (for one minute) expect this feeling to last, or entertain the possibility that it could be my experience every-single-day. To me ‘this amazingfullness’, where everything within me flowed effortlessly and in perfect time, was something very special that came and went – a pinnacle I could reach but not sustain or live at…. struggling to reach it, only to tumble and slide down and begin the climb back once more. But, from what was presented by Mary-Louise and Jenny, I realised that it doesn’t have to be this way… there is more, and I’ve been inspired to ponder deeper and consider some previously unthinkable questions:
- What if our natural, everyday state of being is this ‘amazing’ or deep sense of joyful contentment?
- What if it is not only possible, but actually NORMAL to feel this connection to the bone every moment of every day?
- What if settling for anything less than the deeply amazing ‘delicate-full-ness’ we naturally are, actually rejects it and keeps it at bay?
- What if this deep connection is not a pinnacle to be reached-for, but a daily foundation upon which to live, express and develop from?
- And what if this is just ordinary, but because we have travelled so far away from it, it now seems unreal, impossible and even unnatural?
I am learning that True Nurturing opens the way to the possible reality of living connected to the warm and flowing ‘sunshine’ I can feel within me – not just on special occasions – but always.
I’ve noticed that what gets in the way of this flow, what stops it, what sabotages its natural vitality, are the self-doubting thoughts about my worthiness which come in, and when I follow them they leave me less than this amazing fullness; they diminish and darken the great light I am whenever I slip and let them in. Thoughts such as:
- You’re not really that great
- You’re ahead of your self’
- You’re not good enough yet
- You’ve still got issues
- It can’t be that simple – you have to work hard to get there, let alone stay there
- You’re kidding yourself, who do you think you are?
- There are others around you who are there, but they’re better than you, they’ve got ‘it’
- You are still working through your stuff’ etc. etc.!
Yet what I’ve noted today is that these doubtful, way-laying thoughts no longer hold strong as I can easily see that the quality of energy they come from is clearly not love. This act in itself is true self-nurturing for it accepts nothing less than the energy of love I know myself to truly be. Sure I have issues, but I am not my issues, and it is this understanding that allows me to accept imperfection and awesomeness all at once. How amazing is that? It no longer becomes an either/ or situation, but a completeness that comes from knowing ALL of me – the warts and the roses – and accepting ALL of me in full. The focus shifts from what’s lacking to the abundance of ALL that is there and the simple loveliness of it.
From this knowing of myself, anything less stands out and the familiar thoughts of “I’ll just…..’:
- have that extra bit of food (even though I can feel I’ve had enough to eat)
- stay up a little longer to finish this movie (even though my body is ready for sleep)
- stay on at the shops (when really I’ve had enough)
- squeeze something in (even though my day is already full)
- say yes to something (when I feel to say no); brush off an amazing moment (instead of allowing myself to acknowledge it)
- not stopping (when something doesn’t feel right)
- leaving something nearly finished (instead of completing it when I have the opportunity to)
- comparing myself to another (instead of being inspired by their amazingness AND knowing it is a reflection of my own equally)….
These and a million other ways are what I have come to know through experience as being ‘connection cutters’ – things I used to disconnect me from the amazingfullness that is present within me. Because I couldn’t accept it, I found ways to reject it.
True Nurturing for me is about honouring the beauty within IN FULL, not just in part but ALL of it (actually, I AM Amazing). Once connected to, it has its own way of being that flows along, automatically impulsing choices that sustain and deepen the loveliness and its powerfulness as long as I continue to accept that I am this grand, and it is this simple to be so. When I doubt myself it is easy to wobble into old habits that diminish, lessen, reduce, dismiss, dilute or let this amazingness go, like a dream I had but now can’t re-call.
There is no accident to the set up that has made it easy for me to live short of the fullness of me. There are forces at work in the world that encourage a way of living that is small, nice and disconnected (I’m always needing some reward or relief when living this way – like chips, chocolate, ice-cream, a movie… or some version of all of them!). But there is another way that says always:
“You are more, you are Amazing, You are Everything Already”
And all I have to do is love myself enough to claim it, to say YES without reservation, doubt or delay, to re-connect with the deep Love I am and let this way of being be my way, no more, no less. True Nurturing is saying YES to ALL, not just a little or a lot, but all of it.
Beyond the yumminess of feeling this way, it is easy to see that the world is thirsty for women in their fullness and the ways of living life that this fullness brings – ways innately known that nurture truly, deeply and consistently; inviting, inspiring, and allowing others to also connect to the simple beauty within and live from this most natural place.