by Sharon Gavioli, Registered Nurse, Birth Educator, Counsellor, Brisbane, Australia
All my life I have had a knowing that life was about people and loving people. Despite this, as a young girl I learned that love meant that I should be good and put others’ needs before my own. This meant working hard to please my parents and friends. Throughout this, I felt a frustration at how I felt I had to be and at times would step out of line, which left me feeling bad that I had let another down. Then I would brush myself off and get back in the game in the pursuit of this love.
In my teenage years, I directed my quest for love in pursuing boys, hoping that a relationship would bring me the elusive love that I hadn’t quite found as a girl. After a few false starts, I found the man whom I was sure was going to bring me the love. Within a year of marriage, I started to feel disappointed and again frustrated that the love wasn’t pouring forth in our relationship. I tried to express this, but in the end decided that maybe having a baby would definitely be a sure winner to finally find that true love that I so longed for.
Having my first baby was an amazing experience and I enjoyed being a mother, but still there was a place in my heart where I felt something was missing. A few babies later and being more entrenched in working harder to feel that I deserved any love, I embarked in my quest to find true love in the New Age movement.
Over the next 15 years I invested in a number of different courses and books that promised I would find the love. Initially I would get on board and think that I had found the missing link. There was talk of something amazing within us, but no matter how hard I tried I could not connect to it. During the courses, at times I would have feelings of something more than my everyday boredom and numbness. Unfortunately, these feelings were often short lived and I would return to seeking out the next healing or revelation. At this time, my relationship was reaching a crisis point, as I was now just plain angry that my husband had not delivered me the love I had expected him to bring me.
At the age of 48, overweight, unwell and disillusioned about love – and even given up on the seeking for love, as I felt I had failed in my quest – love found me.
No, I didn’t meet a new man! I simply connected to a beautiful feeling within me during the first Esoteric Chakra-puncture session I had with a practitioner from Universal Medicine. This feeling was a sense of steadiness, love and joy, which filled my body and was different from anything I had felt before, yet at the same time felt strangely familiar. It lasted for a number of hours before I got caught up in the usual patterns of my life.
Unlike previous sensations or highs I had experienced in the new age movement that left me feeling deflated after, this feeling left me knowing this is what I had been missing. I made the simple connection to this love that had always been inside of me. My relentless pursuit of finding it outside of me in relationships, babies and new age workshops was what had prevented me from stopping and just allowing myself the space to connect to it.
So I am now committed to developing a connection to this joyful love and steadiness as my everyday experience. For nearly four years this has been my highest priority. Through my devotion to myself I chose to attend Esoteric Healing sessions and workshops with Universal Medicine. This commitment has enabled me to develop a much greater presence of love for myself and from this, more love for others. This love continues to deepen and has completely transformed how I live my life and how I am with people. Although I am not yet able to consistently hold this love, I know it is always there waiting for me to choose to connect to it.
I feel so humbled by this love that was already within me. I am grateful for Universal Medicine and its teachings and Esoteric Healing modalities, which in fact did not bring me love, but just reminded me that Love is my true nature.