by Shannon Everest, Australia
While sitting eating my lunch at work, and fanning through the latest Vogue mag. in the patient waiting room, I read bits and pieces of an article about a new and upcoming young actress called Alice Englert. The article was titled ‘Alice in Wonderland’.
The article itself is not what is important here – what is important is the ponderings that occurred after reading the article.
This young woman of only 18 years was being celebrated with such expressions as ‘Englert heads into the light’… She was being placed on a pedestal for all the world to see, described with such beauty and awe, but for all of the things she can ‘do’, the way she looks, the way she ticks boxes – and not for who she actually is. Lauded for how she has managed to carve her way into the industry, descriptions of her physical beauty and the uniqueness of her old-world ‘look’.
I found myself wondering, how does she really feel? What does she do to care for herself working in the film industry? What did she have to go through to get there?It is an interesting phenomenon and set of words to describe the rise of a ‘star’, someone stepping into the ‘limelight’. There is a sneaky-ness in the appeal of someone rising into stardom and fame, because words are used that are actually close to our hearts. There is a truth to each and every one of us being a ‘star’ and a radiant light. Yet when these words are used in regards to fame, we feel it in a very different way. The person is not honoured as the true light they are. Not for shining in the radiance of their own inner beauty. Not for allowing the glorious light from the essence within to shine out and touch the world.
We are so easily given these false examples, using similar words that tantalise our inner knowings, yet don’t give us the full taste or bite we are looking for. We are not reflected the true light that shines from within, where you don’t have to ‘do’ anything but be exactly who you are.
It is not the fault of this young actress or even the journalist who wrote the article or the magazine itself – all of these things are merely caught in the same system and cycle we have all been mischievously fooled to believe is all there is in life to look to. From that system, we are sold the lie that what this young actress has is ‘It’.
Yet there is so much more.
Recently I attended a presentation by Real Media Real Change. As part of this presentation, a beautiful older or elder woman presented on topics close to her heart; self-care and personal experiences with breast cancer.
Then a most beautiful short film was shown, titled ‘Truly, Deeply, Beautiful’ and truly – it was. Women of various ages, talking about the way they have lived in the past and how they have made changes that have begun to truly honour themselves. These women – not famous, just everyday women: mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends. Yet there was a quality that came through from each and every woman that was to be in awe of, but in the true sense of the word awe. The awe of the divinity we each have within, where we can appreciate those true qualities in another. I was touched deeply by this very simple film.
Then the final part of the presentation was by a young woman, Natalie Benhayon. I wonder what it would be like if this woman was featured in Vogue magazine? Photographed in her beautifully selected outfits, but reflecting the depths of connection from a woman who knows who she is and is not afraid to show that, be that, and shine that out to the world.
Here was a presentation about the development of an amazing app to support, not only women of all ages, but men too – and this all at the ripe age of 23. This app, Our Cycles – Period & Moon Diary, both physically beautiful and smooth to touch and glide through, has given women and men one of the most powerful tools of self healing and self care, encouraging us to develop a relationship with ourselves, with our bodies, and with how we feel in the world. I don’t know if we have yet fully realized the incredible power and gift in one simple app worth $4.49 in the iTunes store.
I wonder what the world would be like with more true role models: where role models from all walks of life can be applauded for their grace in such avenues that reach wide audiences. I wonder what it would be like if each one of us recognized and appreciated the qualities within ourselves that are worthy of true role model status.
It is not the true intention to have that type of ‘attention’, but I myself would love to see these true qualities we each hold within be brought to the fore, in our modern world for all to see.
The two different forms of media were great examples of two very different approaches to looking at a woman. The first looked at the woman from the outside in – praising and applauding the woman for what she can do and how she is ‘making it’ in the world, and the second looked at the woman from the inside out – who she always has been, that has never changed and does not require any improving, bettering or doing, but a deep honouring of those qualitites that are already there within.
Women in Livingness Blog 
Which woman would you like to be, the one celebrated for the things one has accomplished and ‘done’ or the one who ‘always has been, that has never changed and does not require any improving, bettering or doing, but a deep honouring of those qualitites that are already there within.’? For me it is a no brainer – I would choose the latter despite all that society prefers to celebrate in the former.
If we were but to realise how we actually all are role models, we would perhaps then begin to understand the importance of this role and the responsibility as well as the power we potentially hold with this (in terms of how many around us can be inspired deeply by what we bring) – this might prompt us to be more aware and more responsible with our choices which all end up being ‘on show’ for others to see and then act similarly or not.
“I wonder what it would be like if each one of us recognized and appreciated the qualities within ourselves that are worthy of true role model status.” – what we may not realise is that like it or not, on some level we are all role models, for there is always someone watching and observing and clocking and noticing things about us all of the time and this is no different to how we do the same with others.
Natalie Benhayon is a shining example of a role model of living the natural beauty and wisdom of living the love that is in the inner-heart of each and everyone of us.
Fame is like a complete reversal of our true way to shine from within by connecting to our essence, and for each person to equally hold the place of a beautiful shining ‘star’. We have instead made it about outer achievements and appearance, position in the world, and the concept that only a select few can make it. It’s interesting how we can reverse a truth completely and then establish it in the world as the way life is,
How differently would our children grow up if all we did was continually confirm who they already are? And how different would our world be once those children grew up and continued the process with their own children?
I would love to see true role models in the media, we first have to live what we want to see, be what we want in the world. This is so important to the way forward.
I agree Vanessa, we are the role models in life and as you say ‘be what you want to see in the world’
Our quality emanates out for all to see and feel, so how important is this, ‘Yet there was a quality that came through from each and every woman that was to be in awe of, but in the true sense of the word awe. The awe of the divinity we each have within, where we can appreciate those true qualities in another’.
Its great to share the difference here between true and false celebration. When it comes to celebrity stardom, they are positioned by the media as what people want – a dream person – someone superior – someone to aspire too – but it is completely superficial and not a true representation of that persons qualities. Whereas the opposite of that is a woman who lives who she is and encourages the unique expression of other women in all they are – no comparison – just no holding back.
‘I don’t know if we have yet fully realized the incredible power and gift in one simple app worth $4.49 in the iTunes store.’ The quality in which this app is made makes it unique but I agree Shannon we don’t appreciate this app for what it brings to women and men, day in day out when we connect by using this amazing app.
In the media we are often only showed a part of the picture. In that the woman you shared about had made it into the better movies and was recognized as an actress but nothing is shared about her for the rest. How she feels about herself, how she thinks about herself a basic realness is missing and makes it look like perfection even though it probably is not. The perfection we then strive for thereafter but will never reach because it was not real to start with. It is like wanting to be a beautiful as the women on the Vogue even though the picture has been photoshopped extensively.
Thank you for exposing the bastardisation of language and how young women in the media are put on a pedestal where the only way is down.
In contrast another your woman Natalie Benhayon is supporting and inspiring many other women of all ages to shine their light and claim themselves as the amazing women that they are.
Appreciating our own light and beauty within is the way forward. For then we have the stars and heaven lighting the way in everyday life.
We are already amazing and glorious, we have to start allowing that out to shine instead of keeping that hidden and pretending there is something wrong with ourselves and that we need to improve ourselves.
I am connecting more with my inner qualities, allowing myself to be the true me, ‘ the second looked at the woman from the inside out – who she always has been, that has never changed and does not require any improving, bettering or doing, but a deep honouring of those qualitites that are already there within.’
Outer beauty can fade but when a woman reflects who she truly is from her innermost then that beauty can go on forever.
Well said Shannon. In our society today, women are generally represented and valued through images and pictures of how we look and what we do. Yet this is exactly what ostracises and excludes anyone who does not fit this picture, and devalues the true qualities in all, including those that do fit the picture. Our great power and inspiration as women naturally emanates when we live in connection to who we already are within, and it is this quality of living that represents who we all are.
When people are put on pedestals and believe they are something special they have a long way to fall, when the pedestal no longer exists, yet when a person shines from the inside out, there is nowhere to drop from, because their whole life and light is their foundation.
Absolutely Sally. When I worked in the theatre as a bodyworker the depth of insecurity in some of the famous stars was immense. It is so true what you say here . A continued connection to and building of a foundation from the core, the essence of who we are, is essential for a true steadiness and confidence in ourselves.
One day, we will have media that will be celebrating and looking at women and men from the inside out, and no longer from the outside in. That time is inevitable – how long it takes is up to each and everyone of us. The media merely feeds on the demand we all put out.
I cannot go past this one liner “There is a truth to each and every one of us being a ‘star’ and a radiant light.” If we each cherished this in ourselves and each other this would reduce the competition, jealousy and any way that is not decent and respectful to ourselves and each other. We all have a light that radiates absolute beauty brighter than what we currently perceive.
I’m going to a panel discussion tonight about empowering girls in the world. I’m interested to see what is being talked about. Are we considering the fact that we are already amazing, already sublime, gorgeous, sweet and precious…. or are we in the thinking that we need to be fixed or bettered in some way?
There is a lot that shines false light that catches our eye, like a mirage in the desert, it pays to be discerning when we see things that glitter, they do not allows have a true sparkle, like magpies we are drawn to things that promise something but we need to look deeper to feel whether they serve us or not.
I love that you highlight that we are all stars and that the way we select our stars is not in line with who we are. Imagine the stars would compete with each other of being a star – that would not make sense because all the while they are all being stars.
The reporting that looks from the outside often likes to put people on pedestals and then knock them off again – neither are true or honouring. When we subscribe to this we are responsible (or rather irresponsible) of condoning this unloving and harmful behaviour.
When asked people who their role models are and often they choose people who do stuff or have stuff, we as people in everyday life who live with a consistency of love and truth is what really matters. These are the role models that inspire me as a woman, a way of living that does not topple in turbulent seas. A shining light, a star, a light house.
“allowing the glorious light from the essence within to shine out and touch the world” there is no call to be an actress in the ‘limelight’ for this to be true but just to be and live all you are.
There is a huge consciousness around the world that dictates that women are less and to be treated less. Women have bought in to this and justified all sorts of ways that they put others first and feel proud of being selfless even to the point of martyrdom. Others have rebelled and fought back. There are very few true role models for women. Mostly we see in magazines women being objectified but because this has crept up on us we accept it as normal, or inevitable. It’s as if we have had our insides taken out and we are just living from our shells. Time to rebuild and re establish our core and reconnect to, honour and live our true qualities from the inside out.
Whilst the world has been tainted through taking on the ideals and beliefs that people are to be applauded and adored for what they do and eye pleasing outer aesthetics, there is little demand for true journalism that appreciate and honour qualities people possess within. However without true models that live and reflect the power and beauty of living who they are reminding us of what is truly important we will continue to be inundated with false messages of the importance of the former… laced with the lie that we are not enough as we are.
There is such a difference between only being championed for what we can do and for who we are. I think this is where a lot of wanting to be perfect comes from for us women in life. We see someone being recognised and appraised and say ok, that is what I am going for and this sets us up for a lifelong purchase of something that will never be possible because we all have a different expression and recognition will never be enough. Self-appreciation and love is what we truly look for.
Thank you Shannon for highlighting the contrast between the way the media build people up as being ‘It’ and the true role model that we are blessed with in Natalie Benhayon. However for me what I have connected with on this reading is the importance of us all recognising and appreciating ‘the qualities within ourselves that are worthy of true role model status.’ It is only when we start to do this that the scales will be tipped towards appreciating what we bring by just being us rather than the outward appearances that are lauded by the media and foster so much comparison and jealousy.
When we look at women from the outside in we don’t get to see their true qualities and what they are truly able to bring to the world
The first description of awe you mentioned I have felt comes with a comparison and a feeling that they have ‘it’ and I don’t. The second example I have felt doesn’t come with a better/lesser comparison (unless I choose to make myself less) instead this inspiration has a feeling of knowing where the presenter is coming from, that their ‘it’ is fully tangible, practical and very possible to be lived by anyone. And this latter one has doing to do with how it looks on the outside, as that’s different for everyone, but in how what we are doing feels which can be the same awe.
Thanks Shannon for your insightful sharing. Yes it is interesting the words that are used such as stars and lighting the screen etc. We are of light and yet it is obvious that the world loves the false light and most want to turn away from the true light of the essence as their is no adoration, fans or fame there but instead an eternal responsibility to be all that we are in full to the best of our ability.
When the quality of ‘being’ is left behind to be identified for what we do, everyone misses out.
it is incredible that we still have so much in magazines that ‘only’ really foster looking at and judging ourselves on what we look like on the outside. There is a huge amount of talk about feeling and valuing ourselves, but it always feels laced with having to ‘be better’, or ‘we are plagued to change ourselves’ when really we have all we ever need want already inside of us.
Yes the constant search outside of ourselves will always leave us feeling less than whereas if we connect with our true essence we have no need of outside confirmation.
I grew up flicking through fashion mags in supermarkets and doctors waiting rooms, sometimes we had a few old ones around the house. When I moved out of home at 17 I moved in with my older sister, I remember she would send me to the shop to buy a few things and most weeks that would include a trashy mag, she would always say that I was not allowed to read it until she had. Which was fare enough because she had paid for it. Sometimes she was out and it became that much more appealing to read it but she could always tell if I sneaked a look though as she described it as “not fresh” anymore. Anyway, long story short, these types of mags all idolised woman for their deeds and looks, or criticised them for their weight and outfits.
The perfect girls were what stuck with me though, I never felt that I could live up to these role models unless I changed dramatically. I had moments of posing in the mirror and thinking that maybe I was as beautiful as these women but then a different angle or a comment from someone would bring me back down to realising that they were special and that I was just ordinary. This became the reason that I felt men didn’t love me or treat me the way I felt I desereved to be treated. I saw girls that were more attractive than me, as having it all. Until I came to the teachings and Philosophy of Universal Medicine my self loathing ran very deep, everything that is offered from Esoteric Women’s Health is supporting me back to feel the natural and deep beauty I have always held inside. Now we are blessed to have Woman in Livingness Magazine, which has “normal” woman that are shining like stars, not for what they do or how they look but from how they live the love they natural are.
The more we shine in the radiance of our own inner beauty, the more we allow our glorious light from the essence to shine out the more blessed and touched the world is.
It is gorgeous to read about how we can honour who we are and our qualities – we do not have this reflection enough as a society and boy is it needed. If we look at the state of women and where we are at in the world, then it is clear we have a deep opportunity to change the status quo and start to explore what a true role model is for us.
Gorgeous celebration of the depth of quality that we all have within us which is always there just waiting to be connected with and reflected out. Awesome that we now have true role models of how it is to live life being true to ourselves.
We are really at the stage in the world today where we can make our own media, be our own news and really show where women and men are at, but also show that we can make new choices. And it is happening everywhere not only with the onset of new technology, but with a current media who is not moving with where the people are at and what they are looking for.
“….all of these (things) are merely caught in the same system and cycle we have all been mischievously fooled to believe is all there is in life to look to.”
Unless we question this cycle as you did in your blog Shannon we all keep feeding it constantly what it then feeds us back and so it keeps going. Until the day we stop and say, wait a minute, isn’t there something else? And you have offered this stop with your blog.
The app does really support you as a woman to learn to recognise how you are feeling and from there start to honour and appreciate yourself more.
It is sad to think that most of those who are interested in the young woman in the Media Report you mention Shannon, are only interested in the outer cover and the doingness of her life. How different would we feel if we read about her inner life and the connection to her innermost and what she may see as her future and that of the Brotherhood of Man.
Shannon,
The difference of living from the outside in with its constant barrage of pressures, to living from the inside out and the simple activity to responding moment by moment as we go about our life is so vast. Yet the tiniest hurt or something that ruffles our feathers can find us stuck again in the assult from the outside. Learning that this is the truth of a human being and that it takes deep discernment to detect this phenomenon as it happens is the greatest learning we can all open our hearts to receive, understand and live.