Nurturing According to My Body’s Rhythm

by Dr Danielle Pirera, 32, Goonellabah

I have always understood ‘nurturing’ to be something very lovely and honouring that I do with myself – like having a bath with my favorite essential oils… or a bubble bath and maybe some candles and plenty of space and time to be with myself in a lovely and relaxed way, enjoying the warmth of the water around me.

Recently I went to an Esoteric Women’s Health (EWH) event presented by Natalie Benhayon: it was an inspiring presentation about Nurturing and being aware of the cycles and rhythms in one’s body. Natalie introduced something that I have never before truly heard or understood, even though it may have in the past been mentioned many times: that sometimes a bath with your favourite oils, bubbles or settings etc., may not actually be nurturing.

When I heard this my ears pricked up! A part of me said “what, why not?” and “how could something so lovely you do with yourself not be nurturing?”. As I listened intently Natalie went on to further discuss how that to be truly nurturing means to honour exactly what we feel our body actually needs at a specific point in time.

For example, maybe one day we come home and feel heavy or stressed from our day, and we immediately go to have a bath to ‘nurture oneself’ or to try and relax and feel better. But if we don’t stop first and feel if this is exactly what our body needs, then the bath is no longer truly nurturing. Maybe in this example if we stopped first and felt what our body truly needed, perhaps a very gentle walk, some body stretching or a tender hand and foot massage may be more appropriate, and therefore the more nurturing response. But because we didn’t stop and feel this and instead assumed the bath would ‘help’, then the bath can no longer be truly nurturing for us – because we haven’t honoured our true feelings first, or the exact needs of our body.

The penny dropped and I now felt a deeper understanding of what Nurturing truly is: “to feel my body in any moment, and make choices that are in line with exactly what I feel my body needs in that moment”…

Another penny dropped – I now understood what a rhythm in my body actually felt like. I realised that there have been times when I do stop and feel my body and exactly what is needed, and I can feel a ‘rhythm’ in my body. It’s like a ‘plan’ or ‘story’ that is being played out in my body in silent or coded text – communicating a natural way that my body follows automatically as the only way to be.

I saw that if we didn’t stop and feel the plan or the story then it was likely that any choice we make may not follow that plan or way. So instead, the choices we make begin to go against this innate way that is constantly playing out within us, and so become unnatural.

After pondering on all of this I began to feel that for me there were a few steps of honouring needed in this new process of truly nurturing in line with my rhythm and my way:

  1. Make time to stop in stillness and deeply connect with my body and listen to what is going on.
  2. Be honest about what I feel in my body, and what my body is truly needing or asking for in that moment, in order to support it.
  3. Honour the above and make the space and time to do this, immediately if necessary, and with the exact precision and timing to what my body felt is needed, with no compromise to myself.

Thank you Esoteric Women’s Health for sharing something that is so natural and true in every woman’s and man’s body. It’s a warm and joyful feeling to have re-recognised this in my body and I look forward to test driving it!

And thank you Natalie Benhayon for living it so we can all feel this natural fact.

154 thoughts on “Nurturing According to My Body’s Rhythm

  1. When you described what our rhythm is and how we can honour it, I had a flash thought of ‘oh, that is a level of detail that would need a lot of time’. It was only a flash thought but it was there and I clocked it. How often do we dishonour our rhythm because we don’t have enough ‘time’? Yet here you were offered another way of approaching the day and seeing it as creating space, not being tied to time and in that we have space to honour our rhythm.

  2. Being willing to stop and feel what our body is truly communicating is key to honouring whatever will nurture it in that moment and for me recently has been about the way I move e.g. going for a gentle walk when I realise I am feeling agitated to come back to myself.

  3. This is exactly what I needed to read today, thank you for sharing your experiences Danielle. I could feel as I read that I haven’t always been turning into what’s nurturing for me, and that this creates a stress for the body because it doesn’t get what’s needed, even if the activity I do seems nurturing, it’s actually not nurturing at that time.

  4. Deepening our awareness of the cycles and rhythms of our body allows us to honour and appreciate our natural sensitivity and nurturing way of being and through committing to listening to what our body is communicating we are able to live and express from a true flow and harmony with our body.

  5. I agree these are important steps to bring into our lives to help deepen our nurturing, ‘Make time to stop in stillness and deeply connect with my body and listen to what is going on,’ and then ‘Be honest about what I feel in my body, and what my body is truly needing or asking for in that moment, in order to support it.’ And then making space to honour and do what the body is asking for.

    1. Yes, a very practical list of where to start. I would included working on dedication to ourselves in order to build the consistency of that level of honouring so it can become ‘normal’ and our foundation.

  6. This is gorgeous Danielle as you highlight the truth of our bodies, which knows the sacredness that we innately are and that there is a precise rhythm that offers us how we can live this quality through our living day. When we honor this quality we know what is needed to nurture ourselves and this can change every day depending on what is needed to support us with what we are call to lived. Super powerful and never can this depth of connection and inner-knowing come from anything outside of us.

    1. Beautifully expressed and in honouring our inner knowing we are reflecting to all how simple it is to nurture ourselves as we move through life.

  7. I agree it is paramount to bring this nurturing into our everyday lives, ‘Make time to stop in stillness and deeply connect with my body and listen to what is going on.
    Be honest about what I feel in my body, and what my body is truly needing or asking for in that moment, in order to support it.’ And then, to honour what our body is communicating in every moment.

  8. Choosing to trust my body to communicate what would support it in any moment has transformed my relationship with myself but also allowed me to recognise how often I still choose to override it during my daily activities and am then playing catch up when I get home in the evening.

  9. Yes, feeling our body in every moment, listening to what it is saying and asking for in that moment is key. Maybe taking a moment to stop, and see what our body would like, rather than thinking we know best from our head, or ‘this’ worked last time.

  10. It is easy to fool ourselves when we think we are nurturing ourselves because we repeat something that was originally a nurturing moment for instance a beautiful walk with nature, however if it is not what the body is calling for next then we miss the opportunity to deepen our relationship with ourselves, I have been surprised at how simple nurturing can be, because it may be something small that the body needs.

  11. “…. nurturing means to honour exactly what we feel our body actually needs at a specific point in time.” When we truly listen to and honour our body it feels very different from the usual ‘go to’ remedy which may have become a habitual way of de=stressing.

  12. I like the ‘test-driving’ it approach that you mentioned, this allows you to learn and experiment and try what is needed and allows the space for you to develop this relationship with your body.

  13. A beautiful blog Danielle highlighting how important it is that we honour our true feelings first and provide exactly what our body is calling for to truly nourish and nurture ourselves.

  14. I love what you have shared and expressed Danielle and how tangible and real you make it. For not making it something that can be felt in the body it cannot be made into something that will work personally for you because, it just becomes another thought (ideal / belief) without including the body – “to feel my body in any moment, and make choices that are in line with exactly what I feel my body needs in that moment”…

  15. I love the title of your blog Danielle, being aligned with our body’s natural rhythm and feeling exactly what our body needs allows us to develop a true way of nurturing ourselves.

  16. Thank you Danielle I have also realised that there is an on going relationship that is needed with my body as I cannot afford to override the messages it is so clearly sending me and this relationship is the core to true health and well-being.

  17. It is great what you have shared Danielle, as I am looking into developing ways of nurturing my body, it is so simple to stop and in my stillness feel what my body is sharing about what will nurture it in a given moment, I often don’t stop but get caught up in the pushing through which does not feel good in my body.

    1. No, pushing through always hurts, yet we are encouraged to champion that and therefore have a sense of achievement and a little thrill at being in control. Yet we have, at times, overridden our bodies need to rest, or indeed the complete opposite, we may have rested when our body wanted gentle movement. Letting go of the picture of what we think we need and honouring how our body is feeling and what it is sharing is far more sustaining and nurturing.

  18. Yesterday afternoon I felt tired and immediately I took myself to bed. I slept and allowed myself to deeply rest. Upon waking I could feel a shift in my body. I woke up this morning after regaining a sense of purpose and commitment to life. It would have been very different if I had chosen to ignore how I was feeling and pushed myself through the day.

  19. Feeling what our body needs at each specific time has been the key to deepening my relationship with myself and cherishing my body and how it truly supports me when I listen and respond to what it is communicating to me.

  20. “Nurturing truly is: “to feel my body in any moment, and make choices that are in line with exactly what I feel my body needs in that moment”…

    Any ideas we may have about how to nourish ourselves are obsolete compared to the results we get when connecting and listening to the body.

  21. Thank you for sharing your dropped pennies. If we allow our warm bath to become a ‘fix it’ habit this can keep us away from feeling something else that would nurture and restore the harmony in our body more deeply.

  22. What your blog shows very clearly is that we cannot truly nurture from an idea or concept but only when we connect with our body, listen to it and feel what it really needs.

  23. Reading this again after some time I am reminded of the wisdom that we are offered through Esoteric Women’s Health and the power of applying this to our lives. There is always another level of love to offer our bodies and the key is indeed committing to stopping and deeply connecting to the stillness and listening to what it truly needs rather than applying what we think.

  24. It is through the choices we make that go against our natural rhythm when we do not honour how we are feeling what is truly needed to nurture and stay in connection with our body.

  25. Thank you for spelling out the 3 steps that support us in this process and for me what underpins all of them is my commitment to myself and if that wavers at any stage my true impulse is lost and anything I then chose can just become a doing/tick box exercise rather than the precise activity that my body is requesting.

  26. I can see that what we may call nurturing may actually be indulgence and therefore not what we truly need. It becomes our own interpretation instead.

  27. So true Danielle, self nurturing is no a checking off on a ‘to do list’ but rather a tuning in to what our body needs in each given moment.

  28. A beautiful reminder that the key to true nurturing is to feel and honour our true feelings first and what our body needs and then we will always support ourselves from what our body is communicating to us.

  29. By nurturing our body how it truly wants to be nurtured, could we be ensuring we are then able to respond to the rest of our day/week and what is brought to us with a clarity and understanding? I know this to be true for me. The more I allow the simplicity of living with this honour and respect, the more I am ready to respond to others with the same level of nurturing, a way of living that brings fullness and honesty to my life and that of others that leaves me with the sense of being prepared like nothing I have ever before experienced.

  30. Great to be reminded to stop first, and then to feel exactly what our body need at this point in time, then to honour that is true nurturing, ‘to be truly nurturing means to honour exactly what we feel our body actually needs at a specific point in time.’

  31. In being aware of the cycles and rhythms in our own body, we are able to build a deep awareness to our sensitivity and a quality of connection so that we are able to feel what our body is calling for in the way to truly nurture and cherish ourselves in every moment.

  32. Stopping and becoming aware first of how we are really feeling enables us to make nurturing choices that truly nourish our body rather than thinking how to nurture ourselves from our head that only bring relief and mask what our body is actually needing.

  33. ‘nurturing means to honour exactly what we feel our body actually needs at a specific point in time.’ This means getting a lot more honest through allowing a deeper relationship with ourselves, allowing our sensitivity and clairsentience to guide us and not to chide ourselves if we make what we judge as a mistake.

  34. Thankyou Danielle, I have really appreciated all the new understandings I have about nurturing. I feel more aware now of the plan my body has everyday to support what’s truly needed.

  35. I would often think from my mind what would ‘help’ me in supporting myself in building a quality to my rhythm but without truly feeling from my body exactly what my body needed. This was the real key to developing a true nurturing rhythm which my body naturally responded to.

  36. I love how you bring nurturing and rhythm together. So nurturing has very much to do with rhythm but not so much a rhythm that we impose upon ourselves but the rhythm that our body feels to move in and be in. And this natural way of being is something we need to rediscover and reconnect to step by step as that what feels natural to our bodies is not necessarily what we think it is. So your three step approach is a great tool to explore what feels truly natural to us.

  37. Recently I’ve felt how strong our inner-rhythm actually is, it seems funny now reading back over this blog to consider that this can be something we can’t feel or have lost, but in saying this I understand with the pace of life now how we can get lost. But it’s like a radiating full bright beacon always signalling to us what is true and not true in that very moment, where we need to be, how we need to walk, what we need to wear and what is next on the agenda. When deeply connected to this pulse or beacon there is such a strong pull or desire to not pull away from it, not deny it and not ignore it, there is nothing that can get in the way and it’s a must to honour what is true in each moment. This is a truly lovely feeling.

  38. So true Danielle, When we choose to listen to our body and not over-ride what we feel in order to ‘do’ what we ‘think’ is nurturing we develop a way of being that builds a rhythm of natural nurturing.

  39. Coming back to this blog after three years I can see how brilliant the formula I felt to support nurturing was – 1. Stop & feel 2. Be honest about what is felt and 3. Honour in every detail what is needed. I also see how I have strayed from this at various times in my life, at various stages of the process. This can be done as a complete disregard of living in rhythm or it can more insidiously be done where I convince myself that I am truly stopping, being honest and honouring when in fact I’m not completely stopping or not being honest about what is felt so the choices or actions from there are not truly honoring. This is worse to think we are nurturing but actually not be doing it, and is an ill or anti-evolutionary pattern we can be caught in.

  40. Choosing from our body what is truly nurturing for us is the key to living from the quality of our body’s natural rhythm.

    1. Living in rhythm with our body is so natural and actually extremely simple. We just need to let stop making choices from our head about what we think is right or what will get us a certain picture or ideal.

  41. Creating the space to build self-loving and nurturing rituals every day even in the smallest detail expands the love and self-worth we hold of ourselves allowing us to build a quality in our rhythm and flow that truly nurtures us.

    1. Very true Linda Green, something as simple as no longer saying ‘I’m just to busy to do that for me’ and instead making the changes to make time for what we need to do to honour ourselves can totally change the rest of our life!

  42. Danielle thank you for the reminder, I know I have fallen in the past for something that I thought was nurturing, to realise afterwards that it wasn’t nurturing at all, and it just provided me with relief. I am now listening to my body more, especially while I am sat behind my desk, as my body will ask for a rest, a walk, a stretch, or simply remind me to change my sitting position.

    1. And thank you Sally for the reminder that nurturing must always come from a deep connection with our body. In fact the greatest form of nurturing feels to be a surrendering of our body, in any situation. I have often found it easy to surrender when I am home alone resting, but not so easy when I am out and about around people, which is where it seems to really count. It’s a never ending work in progress as we realise we can continue to surrender deeper and deeper.

  43. Danielle, you have beautifully expressed how true nurturing always comes from feeling our body’s natural true rhythm and what our body is truly calling out for in each moment.

    1. Absolutely it’s so simple to feel that nurturing is just about listening to and taking care of our body with precision, detail, deep care and absolute Joy. It’s something that all children should learn from the moment they are born, and it should be fostered, cherished and encouraged in them in every part of their lives.

  44. This is a great reminder Danielle for it is so easily forgotten that nurturing can become box ticking if not honouring what is truly needed. I love what you shared about feeling the rhythm in your body and the coded text that communicates what is needed that we can then choose to follow or deny. The ultimate Da Vinci code to connection and honouring what the body wants.

    1. Yes it’s great to feel there is a simple code constantly talking to us about what we need. More recently I’ve realised how important it is to create space to feel the code, otherwise it’s easy to got so busy or be nonstop and not be aware of what we are feeling. Being busy and in motion is the ultimate game to avoid nurturing and living in our natural rhythm.

  45. “to be truly nurturing means to honour exactly what we feel our body actually needs at a specific point in time.”
    Therefore, there cannot be anything automatic about it. Nurturing is the natural consequence of our living in connection with our bodies and ourselves. It is about living spaciously

    1. Yes I’ve recently felt that the living spaciously means that we are ‘fresh’ in every moment. Willing to feel exactly what is going on on all levels and feeling exactly how to respond in that moment, from our inner-most and not from old behaviours to not deal with each situation. I now see this feeling life from a freshness must come from our body, and our deep innermost feelings, not from a calculation in our mind of what has worked in the past, or what may work based on observations.

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