by Deborah Savran, United States
When I was a very young child my father owned a bookstore. Being in a literature-focussed family I was used to having and reading many picture books on my shelves. Of all the stories, none compared to that of Pinocchio. I wanted to read this book every day and night, and over years I drew and painted a plethora of Pinocchio-themed art, and even named my two favorite dolls Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket! I never lost my connection to this story. One of the lessons in it – that our body’s messages are never in truth ‘curse’, but instead can be blessings that help us return to truth – is something that I have finally come to understand.
Earlier this year I heard Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine, mention the story of Pinocchio and I started to feel that for me it was a story full of whole truths, and this brought me to tears. Of course! How much sense it made that as a young child I had so strongly aligned to this story – a story that talked about returning and choosing to be who we truly are; a story about taking responsibility and about how our choices transform our lives and those around us; about a person whose body would give him a big message via his nose growing when he was not being honest…
The truth held in this story and its significance in my early life is just one more amazing insight that I have come to understand since becoming connected with Universal Medicine and its healing modalities based on the Ancient Wisdom. In this I can feel my own life coming full circle.
Let me share how this all came about. Twelve years ago I was diagnosed with fibroids – big ones that were stopping me from becoming pregnant. This was quite an issue for me since at the time I held the notion and belief that “if I don’t have children, what is my life worth?”. I was at University studying naturopathic medicine, and so from that paradigm I set out to get rid of these ‘horrible’ growths – trying everything from acupuncture, herbs and homeopathy to clairvoyant energy healing, psychotherapy and a macrobiotic diet. My overall health declined significantly and I was left every day feeling nauseous, anaemic, exhausted and terrified that I had cancer. All the natural therapies just focussed on ‘shrinking the fibroids’ and ‘fixing’ me. While I would sometimes get some momentary relief from feeling unwell, nothing I tried resulted in shrinking the fibroids. More importantly, my practice did nothing to help me connect to:
- Why I had them,
- Why I was so scared,
- Why I was so exhausted,
- Who I truly was, or
- How to truly heal myself.
After about 18 months of this, I decided to have surgery to remove the fibroids in the hope that afterwards I would have a better chance of becoming pregnant. The surgery went well and I subsequently became pregnant easily, and today have two beautiful children. After my children were born I stopped thinking about the fibroids (although I knew I still had some very small ones), and since I only associated them with infertility, I felt that I had left ‘all of that’ behind me.
Later when I came across the healing work with Universal Medicine, I began to understand my body and healing differently. For years before coming into contact with Universal Medicine I had been practicing a form of abdominal massage and regularly massaged my own abdomen. Not long after, I began to read some of the notes on the subject of women’s health as presented by Universal Medicine, and as I read and digested these notes that made so much sense – and were transforming my understanding of women’s health – I could feel (and for the first time in ten years) a large fibroid on my uterus. At first I was so angry and afraid that this problem had ‘reared its ugly head again’, so to speak. Right away I made an appointment with my doctor. She examined me, ordered blood tests for estrogens and an ultrasound to evaluate the fibroids – another thing I hadn’t done in a decade. My doctor confirmed that they had grown but she felt that, based on my estrogen levels, my age, and the fact that I did not have any physically debilitating symptoms from the fibroids, that I did not need any treatment. She recommended a plan of ongoing, yearly follow-ups. As I left her office I felt this old response of anger, resentment and fear at having fibroids again. But then I stopped and had the feeling of ‘stillness’ or calm within and I felt my body ‘giving’ me a message – I reflected on my fibroid situation, feeling it truly as being a blessing (not a curse) allowing me a chance and opportunity to truly heal my fibroids this time and not just shrink them, or fix them. No longer was I willing to ignore my body’s messages, but instead I was going to truly listen and respond to what I felt I had to take important note of…
This was a painful process.
I began to get a sense of, and feel actually within my body, all the unloving ways I had lived my life as a woman. With some honest reflection I could see clearly that my life had many events and experiences which I had just accepted as being ‘normal’, ‘no big deal’ as ‘part of growing up’, or ‘what you do in relationships’ – but were actually very abusive. Like when I was 12 and a strange man on a bus sat next to me and rubbed my leg, or when I was in high school and boys pressured me into going further sexually than I wanted to, or even simply how I had tolerated disrespectful language and advances from men in bars and on the streets innumerable times. Even more painful was the self-realisation that I had consented to this abuse upon my own body through compromising myself as a woman in accepting or complying with certain behaviours or demands that were in truth causing a massive imbalance in my body, and its wellbeing. I had allowed this pattern of disregard to continue on countless occasions throughout my life.
To understand why this was and how it had arisen in my life, I sought support by participating in the Esoteric Women’s Presentations, and also through sessions with a Universal Medicine practitioner, Mary-Louise Myers. She introduced me to the possibility that, in addition to the obvious physical issue (of a fibroid), that there may be other and perhaps related (and deeper) issues regarding the attitudes I held myself in, such as self-loathing and / or lack of self-worth to also consider. At first this was very challenging for me to accept, though I wanted to see if this could indeed be the case and so began observing my thoughts and how it felt to be (me) in my body, every day. Some of what I noticed was that I carried a lot of ‘guarding’ or ‘self-protection’, nervous energy and also a hardening in my body, and that my thoughts were often self-deprecating and / or self-doubting. As I continued to have more healing sessions and more fully and consistently integrate what I was learning about being gentle and loving towards myself, as opposed to always being self-critical and sabotaging, I began to feel this ‘stillness’ and amazing loveliness within me. I also noticed that I rarely felt nervous or the need to guard or harden myself up, but instead was able to choose to actually be gentle in my body. I noted that the thoughts which arose when I was gentle with myself were self-loving and not self-abusive ones as in the past. And it is through my daily choices to have a love for myself (self-love) that this experience continues to deepen today.
My choices today honour and are guided by what I feel within me, to have self-regard and love – and to allow that exquisite beauty of the natural and true woman that I am.
While I am no longer a little girl, that quality of ‘me-ness’ which I can remember from when I was the Pinocchio-loving child has now returned for me.
For me, having fibroids has actually helped me to return to this quality of connection with myself. Their message was and is to be lovingly truthful to myself, to take full responsibility for whatever arises in my life, and to keep listening and responding to my body’s ever-truthful messages.
Today the healing continues. I care for myself by not ignoring the fact that I have fibroids, but instead by following my doctor’s recommendations for on-going check-ups and monitoring. In addition to that, whenever the fibroids ‘make their presence known’ through the pressure I feel in my abdomen, I now choose to feel this as the greatest blessing and reminder, not as a curse like before. I see this message from my body just like a ‘Pinocchio nose’ – reminding me to return to myself, to my stillness, to my expression as a true woman – to be love. Yes, I used to have those strings just like Pinocchio, but now they no longer hold me down or make me fret or frown… and instead I feel free without them!
347 thoughts on “Lessons on Healing and Truth from Pinocchio”
Natural Medicine and conventional medicine often are simply seeking to give relief from symptoms or to manage a condition or ‘fix’ it. The reality is that they offer us tools to support us in our healing (and are not meant to ‘fix us’) , but sadly we put huge pressures on them to do all the work for us…This means we avoid taking full responsibility for the true healing on offer and the change that is required in the way that we are living. But as you have shared in this blog Deborah, there is a way to be that embraces and works with the responsibility and uses medicine as a tool to support true healing.
Thank you Deborah – this has been really lovely to read about – in particular to feel how you have embraced the body messages and worked through the various stages and the emotions that have come up with and around the fibroids. These kinds of experiences shared as women, support us all to look at any of our health challenges in different ways and allows us to explore what truly has been the cause.
A powerful message indeed – and one that should really be taught in all schools: “One of the lessons in it – that our body’s messages are never in truth ‘curse’, but instead can be blessings that help us return to truth – is something that I have finally come to understand.”
“reminding me to return to myself, to my stillness, to my expression as a true woman – to be love.” Our body is our best friend, always calling us to return to love.
‘The truth of who we are’ is a term that I use a lot but without the experience of what they mean in our bodies then the words are just that, words.
Appreciating fibroids, that is a new one to me and most likely many more people. But I understand that any disease or illness can be a blessing when we take the steps to understand what is the message being delivered to us by said condition. I have certainly learnt a lot through my own illnesses.
Honesty takes me to an unavoidable surrender to my body, that holds me in the truth-love I need-choose to live in
There is a lesson in every story, the story broadcasted to millions and the story of the person next door – both have an experience and wisdom to learn from – only if we choose to see it.
To take responsibility for whatever arises is a commitment to self that only self can choose. What gets in the way of this commitment is simply a resistance or refusal to be more of the woman or man that we truly are.
“My choices today honour and are guided by what I feel within me, to have self-regard and love – and to allow that exquisite beauty of the natural and true woman that I am.” this is awesome Deborah, everything in life makes sense and flows when we are in appreciation of our own divinity and beauty.
“My choices today honour and are guided by what I feel within me, to have self-regard and love”
And here in lies the foundation for any fiery life.
Such simple truths that can turn our lives around…
Getting to know our female body when something like an illness or surgery happens as i have experienced a few years back really does help connect us to knowing who we are in our quality as a woman. It’s a shame that surgery has to ‘take us there’ but at the same time, it really truly is such a blessing for the wisdom we gain from it through our bodies.
If you start reading body language, we can all tell when some-body is lying.
Our bodies show us truth and this is a great example of how we can be with that truth, to take it and understand ourselves, our behaviours, our attitudes and how this impacts on us and our bodies, a real blessing in other words in deepening the quality of us in how we are and express in life.
Whilst reading this I can really feel how much abuse I have also allowed in my body by not honoring myself as a beautiful woman. Letting self-doubt and self-loathing run in our bodies as women feels actually very abusive. There is a lot of abuse that can come from the outside but there equally if not worse is the abuse and unrealistic high expectations we allow ourselves to put on ourselves.
What a great point of feedback this is. I’ve heard so many times how an illness is a curse, but what if it is our bodies way of speaking to us and asking us to be more aware of how we are living? In this case, our body is a gift.
The honesty of our body can cclearly expose how we have been living, whether it is in disregard or whether we have been lying to people around us. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking that my nose has actually gone bigger after I had told a few lies – oh how well we know.
I have heard and read the fact that ‘our bodies can’t lie’ many, many times but when you actually consider this fact it’s pretty mind blowing! So there we all are, living lies upon lies upon lies as part of our every day and the life that we, humanity, have orchestrated and then there are our bodies, right there, saying and expressing the truth of how we’ve lived. And not only that but holding the truth of who we all are. Incredible, absolutely incredible when you actually think about it.
When we are willing to accept the bodies messages as blessings rather than curses, a whole, new and different approach to healing is sought, the difference being we empower ourselves and embrace illness and disease as opposed to playing victim and seeing illness and disease as a nuisance, disrupting our lives.
Our quality of connection with self is super important, and what a beautiful message to receive, ‘ to be lovingly truthful to myself, to take full responsibility for whatever arises in my life, and to keep listening and responding to my body’s ever-truthful messages.’
What a great story this was, and sure could be useful in many people today, ‘a story that talked about returning and choosing to be who we truly are; a story about taking responsibility and about how our choices transform our lives and those around us; about a person whose body would give him a big message via his nose growing when he was not being honest… ‘
I can imagine the belief alone that you or your life as a woman are worthless unless you have children is enough to cause fibroids. It is a lot of pressure on your body to perform rather than responding to whether it is right for you to be a mum or not. I am looking forward to the day when it is accepted that illness is a sign that we are pushing our body and not allowing it to work in a harmonious, natural way. When this is the norm, we can turn the time we spend complaining about our body not doing what we want into time reflecting on the illness and what needs to be healed.
The level of disrespect we have for ourselves can be so obvious, I remember noticing my friends asking boys to stop being “mean” but absolutely loving the attention they got. This need for attention welcomed abuse in all of it’s varieties because in our lack of respect for ourselves, in our seeking to be recognised we accept everything and anything that is going to give us even the slightest sense of recognition.
We negate so much of our loveliness and stillness as women it makes sense that the body shows us this in all different kinds of way, it’s great how you see it as a reminder of who you are, rather than a problem or a part of you that needs to be fixed.
Really we should not ‘negotiate’ any part of our sacredness – so I appreciate what you are highlighting here, Meg, as a problem and the reality is that we often don’t stand strong enough in our sense of sacredness or stillness to not negotiate it. So how important is it to open up this as a conversation so that we can begin to make true change and drop the negotiating.
It is a great choice we can make to consistently bring love into our lives, as you did, and it changes so much, ‘I noted that the thoughts which arose when I was gentle with myself were self-loving and not self-abusive ones as in the past. ‘
I loved reading this again today and feel that when we are honest we all have something like a ‘Pinnochio nose’, the body will never leave us alone but will constantly give us messages to build and surrender to live more love, to return to who we are in truth.
Thank you for sharing your journey with embracing the learning that is on offer to you through paying attention to the messages your body is conveying through your fibroids. When we are willing to be honest about what our body is communicating then we have an enormous opportunity to heal disregarding patterns of life times and deepen our relationship with ourselves.
“No longer was I willing to ignore my body’s messages, but instead I was going to truly listen and respond to what I felt I had to take important note of.” It is important not to override what our body is telling us because there is always a good reason why our body sends us messages and we are able to be much more supportive to our own body when we listen.
Yes our body offers us so much wisdom and support to return to truth, ‘that our body’s messages are never in truth ‘curse’, but instead can be blessings that help us return to truth’.
Thank you Deborah, I really enjoyed reading this again. Our return to the true woman within, to our essence, is intricately connected to honouring the body and listening to the wisdom it is sharing with us. I also noted the power of stillness as you left the doctors room and initially felt reactive about the return of the fibroid, but the reconnection to your stillness supported you to feel the wisdom of why it was happening and how to be with it in a true way to support your healing.
I find it amazing how much our thoughts can influence how we are and how much they affect our body and our whole way of being. When we are honest it can be quite exposing but it is how we start to heal. If we ignore and override the truth it becomes very easy to lie to ourselves. Imagine if our nose did grow like Pinocchio’s, we wouldn’t be quite so blinkered in thinking we can get away with the lies because we would be wearing them on our face for everyone to see.