by Sarah C, London UK
While I was showering this morning, I was gently washing myself and started to feel myself from the inside out – a concept I find extremely challenging because for so long I have always felt myself from the outside, in.
I remembered that in March 2012, after hearing and reading the concept that pads (sanitary napkins) allowed the natural flow of a woman’s period, and my being a tampon user since teenage years, I found this concept weird, to say the least. But I thought, hey, why not try napkins and see what happens?
Reflecting on this today, the change has been profound and I really only fully appreciated that in my bathroom this morning. I have had eleven periods since that time and can honestly say that I have truly felt my flow and the joy of that cleanse. I love having my period now and actually look forward to it each month. What a turnaround! Well, there’s a first time for everything, even as a 44-year-old woman.
I have been telling people that in 2012 I felt like I’d ‘grown up’: I felt that I had become an adult, a woman. But I had made this comment to friends and family in reference to the year contract I worked in Melbourne and from everything that I discovered about myself – old momentums and revelations about my patterns and family history that I have healed during the time I spent in Australia. The bathroom scene also revealed that I had known how profound this was, but hadn’t put two and two together. Not until now.
Once I made the decision to feel my flow as a woman, to commit to feeling my womanly body, then the consequences of living that truth were that I began to heal my patterns, momentums, family hurts and work / career issues NATURALLY – because in truth, I am more connected to my true expression – as a woman.
Could it be that the decision to allow my period to flow naturally (not be stemmed by a tampon) could symbolically affect all the flow of energy around me all of the time? Now there’s a concept!
So the simple decision to commit to feeling my period became a physical connection to my true self and every other issue that came into that new structure – and that continues now with every period. Could it be that simple? So – YES is the answer… and as a result, my focus has shifted immensely from where I was only a couple of years ago.
It’s lovely to observe in myself how the small changes in how tenderly I speak to myself and how I treat my body, have graciously closed a door on a way of being that is no longer a reflection of the woman I am today. And the woman I was denying existed was there all along, waiting in stillness for me to breathe new life into myself.
I will explore this more over the month and revel in my womanliness with RELISH!