by Rebecca Poole, Health Practitioner, BHsc, Brisbane
When we think of gifts that we might give ourselves we don’t usually think about giving ourselves the gift of Inspiration. I know until recently I hadn’t! For clarification, I am not talking about the bodily function of breathing air into our lungs. I am talking about the Ah hah! moments that can change our lives, and the little tug we get in our heart to tell us there is a more true way to live in our lives. This is what I call the start of inspiration.
Most of us would have experienced feeling inspired by someone and how uplifting this can be, but I had always assumed this had more to do with how inspiring a person was rather than an interaction that I was actively and crucially part of i.e., a gift I could choose to give myself. I am continuously inspired by many, including Mary-Louise Myers and Jenny Ellis, the presenters at last month’s Esoteric Developers Women’s Group in Brisbane. I am inspired by how preciously and delicately Mary-Louise holds herself, and how beautiful she is when she humorously shares how she has lived her life, warts and all. Jenny has such an art for sharing her awareness about life in a way that makes it simple and easy for others to grasp and make their own. During the last women’s presentation I was admiring how light and joyful Jenny felt while talking about her own experiences of menopause. I am forever grateful to these two women, whose reflection of grace, strength and beauty in their 40’s and 50’s allows me to embrace aging (something most women struggle with) joyfully and fearlessly.
So what happens when we feel inspired by someone? Inspired by the way they feel and inspired by how they go about their day/life. First, we feel how we want something that they have, like there is a pull inside us to feel or live our life in a similar way. We can at this point go one of two ways:
- Feel the inspiration and the pull that this person is reflecting and embrace it. Know by way of feeling that there is something equally amazing, loving or beautiful inside us waiting for us to express in our own way. However, it is not always that easy! Often after the initial Ah hah! moment we feel an Uh Oh! This Uh Oh feeling is a feeling that tells us we haven’t made the same loving, amazing or beautiful choices that led this person to be and live in the way that has inspired us (even though we could have).By allowing ourselves to feel the Uh Oh feeling without judgment and reflect on our choices, we take full responsibility for where our life is in reflection to the inspiring person and their life. Sometimes this can be excruciating or a very bitter pill to swallow, but it is increasingly easy through deepening the quality of nurturing and love we feel within ourselves in our daily lives, allowing us to be tender and understanding with ourselves as opposed to judging ourselves. Our own built up self-loving and nurturing ways are then like a very warm cuddle on the inside when these uncomfortable Uh Oh moments come about. The Uh Oh reduces and then disappears if we take responsibility for the fact that there have been different or more loving choices we could have made; through this we start to receive the ‘gifts of Inspiration’.When I break it down, this is what I have felt in these moments. Through feeling our Uh Oh we develop an understanding and gentleness towards ourselves and the way we have lived life thus far. During this time there is usually some sadness, allowing us to feel that we are sensitive to hardness – resulting in a greater tenderness towards ourselves and an awareness that the choices we made were not made from love and we are worth more loving choices.
By realising that we made some unloving decisions and that indeed we are worth more, we take responsibility for where our life is – and the Uh Oh feeling. By owning the fact that we always have a choice (even if it is only the choice of how something will affect the way we feel about ourselves), we are empowered to feel the magnitude, power and importance of each and every one of our choices in our life. From this empowerment comes a strength and clarity (we feel uplifted), the way forward becomes clear and we feel ready to start afresh and make more loving, amazing and beautiful choices for our-selves: in another word, Inspiration.
- Feel the inspiration and the pull that another is reflecting but get caught in the Uh Oh’s of our own choices or lack of honouring ourselves. We can judge ourselves, make ourselves feel awful or possibly even try to find fault with the other person to bring them down so we don’t have to feel the Uh Oh while we are in their presence – this is Jealousy. This is quite an ugly feeling inside of ourselves (and for others to feel), and it will cap us and hold us back in our life, unless or until we choose to let go of it.
What I have found is, that wanting to be a good friend/person isn’t enough to ensure we will be inspired by others rather than jealous. Even in the very best of friendships (if people are very honest) there is still a lot of comparison, even jealousy. What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us? What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?
A Small NOTE: In my experience self-love is not something you either ‘luck of the draw’, have or haven’t got. It is something that comes about through a dedication, commitment and consistency towards healing the ugliness or judgment inside us that gets in the way of our natural ability to love ourselves, the love that nearly all young children know (what we all so naturally knew).
People commonly say, “As women we are our own worst enemies”. How crazy that we are our own worst enemies and for the most we just accept this as the way we are. We have ALL experienced Jealousy, and therefore there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of. How lovely if we as women can start to openly talk about our own jealousy, exposing it and committing to interact differently with one another. Realise that it is common, nothing to be ashamed of, but a reflection that we haven’t been willing or ready to face some of our own unloving choices. Facing our own unloving choices becomes easier through the warmth and tenderness we can feel from within for ourselves. Warmth and tenderness for ourselves throughout our day is what ensures we can embrace inspiration instead of becoming stuck in the Uh Oh. How Amazing would our life be if we disposed of jealousy and gave ourselves the gifts of inspiration.
Women in Livingness Blog 
No excuses for not developing self love: “A Small NOTE: In my experience self-love is not something you either ‘luck of the draw’, have or haven’t got. It is something that comes about through a dedication, commitment and consistency towards healing the ugliness or judgment inside us that gets in the way of our natural ability to love ourselves, the love that nearly all young children know (what we all so naturally knew).”
It is the foundational relationship that we have with ourselves that is then there to support us when we feel those uh oh moments as a result of clocking another’s advance and what is being reflected back to us: “What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us? What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?”
Awesome article Rebecca – and very inspiring the read! 😉
Inspiration is a call from your Soul to be all that you are.
Choosing inspiration is such an awesome gift for anyone to give to themselves and we have many opportunities to make such a choice when we open our eyes to what others are presenting.
As we have the choice to respond to another’s reflection, so we have the choice to respond to our own learnings and reflections: when we come to the next layer or level of awareness of the choices we’ve made that haven’t had such a great impact on our body, we can either be inspired by that realisation, to love ourselves even more greatly and deeply, or react against it and beat ourselves up.
Actually making the choice to love and appreciate ourselves helps us to shift us out of the energy we chose in the first place to not do that. Whereas reacting against ourselves only further cements the choice to disconnect from our own essence to begin with.
Appreciation of ourselves supports us to embrace the offer of inspiration when it is presented and then move from this deeper knowing.
With inspiration there is an abundance of appreciation, joy and deep acceptance of our own, and others’ choices. Life feels easy and light and there is space for it to move towards us. If we’re stuck in the heaviness of the regret of our own choices, there can be no moving forwards, until we move ourselves out of it.
Being honest about the Jealousy that we may feel at some point, is a sel-loving choice and the open door to many more to come. It’s when we hide or deny what we feel that those harming feelings can run our life.
This is so true, we always have a choice, ‘By owning the fact that we always have a choice (even if it is only the choice of how something will affect the way we feel about ourselves), we are empowered to feel the magnitude, power and importance of each and every one of our choices in our life.’
When we look up the meaning of inspiration, we are told that it originally comes from the Latin, ‘inspirare – to breathe or blow into’. And this is actually how I feel when I am inspired by another. It is if I am offered the opportunity to stop, to take a big breath and to take in the reflection before me. But of course, I have the choice to take that breath, or not; when I do the gift I am giving myself is priceless.
‘What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us?’ Which brings it back to the importance of building a strong foundation of love for ourselves.
It is our choice to receive the pull and inspiration another offers us, to embrace this and ourselves, ‘Warmth and tenderness for ourselves throughout our day is what ensures we can embrace inspiration’.
Inspiration is such an awesome gift to choose for ourselves as there is always something or someone to be inspired by if we open our eyes and our hearts.
I am so glad I read this again today as I am able to understand so much more of the message now. Its an important part of our growth as human beings to have others around us that are living more love than we are, they are very powerful reflections and unsettle us out of the comfort so we can consider living that way for ourselves also. As you say, such reflections can give us an “awareness that the choices we made were not made from love and we are worth more loving choices.” Two of the key words used were responsibility and empowerment – we can take responsibility for where we are and now choose to be, we are never victims, instead we have immense power to make change particularly when we are loving with ourselves as we make those new steps.
It takes courage and honesty to admitt jealousy but it can be even a funny experience to share with friends, family or colleagues. Something to laugh when we realize how equally amazing we all are from within.
It does seem silly Inma when we are jealous with a mentality of wanting what another has, when we couldn’t be more equal in our amazingness. It’s just a matter of choosing to let it out and live it.
When we connect with our natural ability of loving ourselves we can embrace, appreciate and celebrate the beauty from others, that is the same in us.
Always our choice: to be inspired by the reflections of others, and to accept and own what and how we feel. Being honest about how and what we feel doesn’t mean wallowing in it, but instead we can express it (even if only to ourselves), know that anything other than feeling absolute steadiness and deep love is just other stuff, layers on top of who we are, and choose to let it go.
What a relief it would be to talk about jealousy openly as women. i mean it is everywhere and it creeps up on me in the craziest situations, and i swallow it but I don’t express it. What if we did this though? What if we were able to just say what we feel when we know we can sense everything anyway.
Expressing how we really feel is very freeing indeed. Such a blessing when we can open an honest conversation with others with no protection or judgment but with a holding energy that allows us to connect deeper with ourselves and to each other.
Thank you for this gift Rebecca. Especially “Facing our own unloving choices becomes easier through the warmth and tenderness we can feel from within for ourselves.” – What I loved while reading this blog was the detail you went into of the first option of saying yes to inspiration, and how the second option is mentioned but not embellished. Something that I know I have done in the past which is counterproductive to building the warmth and love within me.
A sign of comparison and jealousy is a marker that there is more to you. As Rebecca has beautifully provided – warmly hold yourself and feel all that is to feel i.e. continue to feel and not judge or be hard on yourself. If that judgement is aimed at another you have left your holding of you . .
It’s a great line Rik “A sign of comparison and jealousy is a marker that there is more to you.” That is another supportive way to look at it.
Ah hah moment for me is the small note to self, learning to heal the judgement inside of us and allowing that self loving relationship to flourish.
Inspiration is indeed a beautiful gift in how it pulls us from inside to connect to and live the potential of who we are, embracing the fact that we are more and then choosing to live that more through our every movement.
Inspiration is a reflection of the joy lived and learned by another and this just permeates from them. Their reflection is the inspiration and that gently opens up a moment for others to make a choice to learn and explore for themselves what this inspiration means for them too. Inspiration is a movement and a movement we can all enjoy.
We all have the choice to be our own worst enemy or our own best friend.
Beautifully said Mary. It is as simple as you expres it.
It is true that our own level of self-love does determine if we see things as inspiring or as someone being better than us thus to be jealous of. The more tender I am with myself the more I am able to be inspired by others and their self-loving choices. If I am hard on myself the difference can be too much and make me react with jealousy instead of inspiration like I would love to respond with.
I love your description of the Uh Oh and how to work with it. I found too that even if it is uncomfortable to feel it is very healing to do so and to not go into jealousy.
Spot on Lieke, and this is where we get to realise that life offers us opportunities, plenty of opportunities daily to grab and use to heal or to ignore and bury the offering and what comes up with it.
The beauty of inspiration is that it gives us the space to ponder and observe our own lives and how we too can inspire another from our own movements and expression. Everyone of us has a wealth of wisdom and experiences to share and when we share this wisdom with others, the most amazing things can unfold and helps us grow. When we are ready to move from the inspiration on offer.
These are great questions . . . ” What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us?” . . . and . . . “What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?” . . . I love them both for they not only point us in the most healing way we could possible consider they also fully inspire us to go for it and really build the love from inside out
Whenever someone offers us a reflection of how they are living we have a choice to be inspired or to go into comparison and I love how your title sums this up so succinctly that being inspired is a gift that we choose for ourselves and that we can go on choosing every time we are with someone who is living from Love and demonstrating how it is always possible to go deeper with this.
Inspiration is a gift well worth choosing, and self-love as you say, ‘is something that comes about through a dedication, commitment and consistency towards healing the ugliness or judgment inside us that gets in the way of our natural ability to love ourselves’.
Inspiration is a by product of our choice to live in a harmonious and loving way and to reflect the joy and love held within. For that is a truly beauty-full bomb of inspiration for all.
“What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us?” It’s such a great line and a reminder to be gentle with myself, I’m not here to have it all “right”, but to allow myself the space to gently learn and in that be open and appreciative to inspiration.
When choosing to be inspired by life becomes a lived momentum, our whole lives become inspiration.
I would have to agree Rebecca that “Inspiration is a gift we chose for ourselves”. A beautiful reminder that it is always our choice therefore taking us back to responsibility for the choices we make in our lives.
Ah Roslyn, this is indeed a powerful realisation – and as Rebecca has shared, it is our approach in life that allows us to see things as a gift, where the reflection of another reminds us of how we too can be and gift ourselves the choice to embrace this again in our lives.
Just to add to my last comment another great line from this great blog, “What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us?”
Thank you Rebecca, this blog is priceless as it is addressing all that comes between women from a very self loving perspective. I am really inspired by your writing. Particularly lines like “What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?” . . . and “Uh Oh. How Amazing would our life be if we disposed of jealousy and gave ourselves the gifts of inspiration”. Yes and Yes! Loved every word.
Choosing inspiration over comparison, in my experience, is definitely connected to one’s personal feelings of self-worth, which is a reflection of the relationships we have with ourselves each day and the love that we give both to ourselves and express out to others.
To see and clock another woman living in her grace, power, delicateness, authority, stillness and knowing is a recognition that she herself has within, these qualities too. To see this lived in another woman is a signpost showing the way, and that it is very possible return back to this quality. It is this inspiration that restores balance to our everyday, instead of jealousy that destroys the potential of unity between women. Yes, drop the jealousy, its got women no-where …”How Amazing would our life be if we disposed of jealousy and gave ourselves the gifts of inspiration…”
Great points Rebecca and to think if we fast tracked the decision to always choose choice 1 how different our daily interactions would be. I’m not discounting how challenging it is to avoid being in comparison especially if this has been the choice for so very long. It actually takes a lot of courage to not go into comparison or any form of reaction. A investment well worth investing. 😉
I have felt the impact of being jealous of another on my body and it is absolutely awful and undermining of my relationships. It is easy to see that I can address this by simply appreciating how lovely I am exactly as I am, I can then feel more clearly precisely why I am jealous and allow myself the gift of inspiration instead.
“we feel how we want something that they have, like there is a pull inside us to feel or live our life in a similar way.” I feel the inspiration of very young children who live just who they are and freely and openly express what they feel. It is an inspiration to just be who I am and letting go of all the constraints that I have taken on.
I love how you suggest that inspiration is a gift we give ourselves, and not not just something offered by another, that it is a reciprocal process. This is an ah huh! moment for me, one that is very empowering and beautiful. I realise I choose which inspirations I will engage with and at times I feel particularly resistant and stubborn I even wait for inspiration to come along and get right up in my face before initiating any changes in the way I am and live. I also realise I am reading people and situations constantly and by a small flick of attitude can receive the gift of inspiration from absolutely everyone and every situation I encounter. Inspiration magically surrounds us in everything and it lives within us innately as well. What a lovely inspiring blog Lee, I am now going to open my arms wide and give myself the gift of inspiration that is so freely and abundantly on offer and in so doing build more self-love. It’s a win win choice.
I know these two ways of feeling another’s loving choices well. Before Esoteric Women’s Health I was stuck in the ‘uh oh’ and felt awful, and was in jealousy. I remember feeling so bad for feeling is way but didn’t know how to change it. Once I understood more about what jealousy was, I didn’t judge myself the same way and could look at it more honestly. Now I’m constantly inspired by many amazing women and see how I too have a choice.
‘What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?’ Thank you Rachel for the inspiration to invest in self-love not just for the health and well-being benefits but also as a protection against jealousy and comparison.
Thank you Rebecca for this really simply explanation of how you can be inspired by another instead of jealous. I loved that you explained it is about feeling our choices and how they have been leading to not having what we would like to have. Observing it in this simple way makes it easier to not react and instead make a loving choice to change.
I am so glad you spoke about jealousy is this insightful blog. it’s so true and is as you describe- it’s a yuck feeling in the body that does hold us back and keeps us stuck, unless we chose to deal with it. I have experienced jealousy, but recognised after years of indulging it, how harming it is for me, let alone other people.
I now recognise very quickly when I have gone into jealousy, and I take steps to clear it. I love how much I have grown in responsibility, this is abundantly clear.
When someone is inspiring we know. We may not know what it is, but we know that it is. We may either try to capture, segmenting it from the person, or we can choose to relate that which is inspiring to how this person lives -no segmentation. Feeling inspired is surrendering to a place of appreciation of the other and feeling the offer that comes with it.
I’ve found appreciating others and myself is an important step in allowing myself to be inspired.
I have found this comment to be very true in life
“What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us?”
When we are looking out without comparing we see the beauty and offering everyone brings to us no matter how small or grand it may be. Loving yourself deeply removes the need to be filled by another and or looking outside for more.
Beautifully said Gail ‘Loving yourself deeply removes the need to be filled by another and or looking outside for more’. Then reflections that have the potential to bring an Ah Hah! or an Uh Oh! moment, can be seen as the gift for expansion that they truly are.
This is a great sharing Rebecca and what you are offering is profound to consider for if jealousy exposes that we have been unwilling or ready to face some of our unloving choices and is dependant on the amount of love we have for ourselves, then the path to being inspired by another instead is simple and self-love and appreciation is the key.
Inspiration is glorious, for me being open to it has opened doors of awareness, it is has shown it is possible for there to be another way to live and it is possible for me to learn how to live it myself. Jealousy degrades relationships and ourselves, it is a lose, lose preoccupation. I have felt it within me and I have felt it pointed at me.”What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?” I agree self love is the foundation that does not sway, so if we are inspired we do not fall into the habit of jealousy, and if we feel an attack of jealousy from another we are able to share who we are with love and not go into defence or become less expressive. A foundation of self love is so supportive to relationships.
Great to re-read this article and feel the different ways we can approach inspiration and the ah-ha’s and the uh-oh’s. With what you present Rebecca it feels going deeper and truly looking at the choices we make in life, rather than deflect and blame, leads to a much greater awareness of self and the opportunity to heal, grow and evolve from what you have felt.
Another fabulously supportive line in relation to jealousy Rebecca – “Realise that it is common, nothing to be ashamed of, but a reflection that we haven’t been willing or ready to face some of our own unloving choices.” To feel the weight of criticism lift off to be replaced with a warm embrace of acceptance is divine. Thank you.
Totally Lucy, I remember feeling the same weight of criticism lift off when I started to understand what jealousy was and that we can allow ourselves to be inspired instead.
Amazing blog Rebecca and so incredibly inspiring to boot! This particular line has for me healed many lifetimes of choosing to not truly understand inspiration, “What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us?”. Build the love within ourselves and the inspirations keep on coming.
Rebecca a really inspirational article, thank you. When we embrace the gifts of inspiration, we are much closer to who we truly are.
Thank you for your blog and continuing the conversation on how we can use our Ah ha moments and deal with the Uh oh moments. What really stood out for me was when you mentioned that in the past when you were inspired by someone, you didn’t realise that you were actually part of the process. This felt really key for me. Often when we are inspired we look up to the person and see them as more, therefore the inspiration they have achieved is unattainable. Knowing we are all equal and only differ in our choices is a great leveller. When I am inspired, I feel more space and lightness in my body, and the ability to feel the road map I have been given to develop this quality by the person offering inspiration.
Great comment Fiona – you’re so right when you say we can often look up to the person we’re being inspired by which means we have placed ourselves as lesser in comparison to them. It’s hard to continue to embrace inspiration when we have already shrunk in comparison. Comparison and jealousy go hand in hand.
Well said Rebecca Poole, it is the amount of love we live in our live that allows us to be inspired. Thank you.
oh, I just so love this blog Rebecca. An inspiration indeed.
Beautiful to read your blog again today, Rebecca and to deepen my sense of appreciation and self love. When we begin to open up and become more willing to let go of our shame and realise that jealousy is just another feeling. When we are willing to see it in ourselves we are beginning a deeper and more honest relationship with ourselves. When we can express these deep feelings to others it offers us a way of deepening the friendship and as we become more honest an equality is more apparent and comparison flies out the door.
I love what you shared here Rebecca about jealousy and self love – that being that the more we love ourselves the more we are able to be inspired by another rather than jealous or in reaction to the choices they have made that we have not.
It is actually very simple to develop the areas we haven’t yet given attention to mastering, if we create a foundation for ourselves that allows us to be inspired by the people around us who have said yes to that which we are yet to say yes to. This process is simply opening ourselves up to receive the teachings of the natural teachers who are all around us.
How lovely to read your blog Rebecca and to feel inspired by your words. ‘Facing our own unloving choices becomes easier through the warmth and tenderness we can feel from within for ourselves’ – it is an amazing moment when we feel within this confirmation of ourselves as we let go of the judgement and begin to accept and appreciate ourselves.
Inspiration is a beautiful thing, but I can feel as you share it is not always easy to allow this, and feel where I am coming from and what I see in this other person, I can feel that jealousy picks up so easily to not feel where I have something to work on. And on the other hand when I allow myself to be inspired there is also a possibility for an open relationship with the other person.
“What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us? ” This line really stuck with me. I have found that this is very true. The more love and care we have for ourselves the less room there is for jealously and comparison to reside. It also leaves a lovely space for inspiration to gleam and shimmer and uplift us to see so much more.
What a wonderful blog Rebecca! You have given me a deeper insight into how important it is that I continue my commitment to deepening my understanding self love and how to appreciate the people and things around me that I find inspiring. Thank you.
Rebecca inspiration complete in relation to absolute wisdom and gold presented in this blog. The take away line for me was the dedication, commitment and consistency that is needed to heal the things that are not true about us and also the appreciate our innate amaziness!
This is a great blog. I totally understand the feeling of inspiration and jealousy and how different they really are! and many time’s i’ve felt that uh-oh feeling after the a-hah! I can feel how important it is to not loose appreciation for yourself when you do feel that there are choices you haven’t made.
Rebecca, thank you for this blog. With your words I can feel how very important it is to express and explain things how we experience/see them, because even though I sometimes might know something writing it down or telling it to another brings a clarity to it that I might not have had before and it is there for all to receive.
Jealousy is so insidious and what you have shared Rebecca really breaks it down into simple language and makes the understanding of it accessible to everyone, women and men. It is like we have a gatekeeper inside, seemingly protecting us from hurts, when really it is protecting the hurts already there within us, keeping a deepening relationship with others at bay, by remaining in judgment of others, rather than appreciation of what they can offer us. I relate to how if we do allow ourselves to feel the Uh-Oh’s, in a tender, self embracing way, we feel a warmth and expansion in our bodies that does not hold us as being less or more than another and that is the wonderful awareness of how true inspiration begins within us that you have shared.
So beautifully and clearly expressed is this blog. That is an inspiration in itself. Thank you.
As you Bianca I feel the truth that self love allows us to be full of ourselves and thus no jealousy can enter.
Thank you Toni for the reminder of reading what is going on, it is really liberating. No more guilt.
Thank you Rebecca.
What an amazing insight into our behaviours this blog gives. I have found Jealousy is rampant in those I have close relationships with, whether this be with my husband or other family members. I can be both at the receiving end of Jealousy and the giving end of Jealousy. Either end stings. It feels crushing when someone you love is Jealous of you.But I have recently come to feel the jealousy coming through others is simply their reaction to seeing me choose something for myself they have not done for themselves, when they see this a big rush of walloping energy comes THROUGH them and hits me. I can protect myself from this force by simply reading what is truly going on. I can also stop the force of Jealousy coming THROUGH me, by like you say Rebecca, noting the person in front of me is simply making a choice I have not yet chose to make for myself, this way the walloping energy does not come THROUGH me to hit both myself and the other person, at this moment I choose to accept the blessing of inspiration that is being offered to me.
I can very much relate to this – ‘We have ALL experienced jealousy, and therefore there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of.’ I have been so ashamed when I have felt jealousy for another so much so that I would pretend it wasn’t there and ignore it. I have held this belief that jealousy was not good instead of being totally honest with myself and feeling and observing it within me. I am inspired to just be confirmed that it is ok to feel jealous towards another and from that place not to be judgemental on myself but to take responsibility in acknowledging the fact, that I haven’t made the same loving choices as them. I appreciate your sharing Rebecca – thank you.
Toni, your honest comment stopped me in my tracks!. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to feel and become more aware of jealousy in all areas of my life and the reminder to read what is truly going on. I am finding that it always come down to me in how present and loving I am with myself. I know when I am present with myself it is so much easier to read another when they are in an emotion like jealousy.
Rebecca, thank you dearly for this blog on choosing inspiration over jealousy. I loved this part in particular “What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us? What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?” I feel the truth that self love allows us to be full of ourselves and thus no jealousy can enter.
Thank you Rebecca I feel inspired by reading your beautifully expressed article this morning. As you shared “feel the inspiration and the pull that this person is reflecting and embrace it”. Since attending the amazing women’s presentations, having sessions with the esoteric practitioners and listening to the presentations that are offered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I feel truly inspired time and time again and that ‘warm cuddle’ is very much present. The ‘Uh Oh’ moments certainly make themselves known of which I’m currently (without beating myself up) working with. I shall return to this blog many times I feel.
Rebecca, I love this: “Our own built up self-loving and nurturing ways are then like a very warm cuddle on the inside when these uncomfortable Uh Oh moments come about.” That is so very true and you have expressed it so beautifully. I also find my store of cuddles very helpful when dealing with the onslaught of the world. Finding inspiration in words with such beauty as yours offer is easy! Thank you.
‘I also find my store of cuddles very helpful when dealing with the onslaught of the world.’ Love the inspiration of this thanks Coleen.
Awesome blog. Thank you, Rebecca. This is a blog that I will keep coming back to. Knowing that it is our choice after all is such an empowering thing to move forward from uncomfortable realisation.
Thank you Rebecca. This line “What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?” is priceless. The more we love ourselves, the less jealousy can come in and take us down, and we can then be inspired by another.
Life would be amazing and transform humanity if we disposed of jealousy and gave ourselves the gifts of inspiration. To be humble and inspired by others instead of falling into the trap of comparison or beating oneself up can lead to enormous healing and greater awareness.
I smiled as i read this because it is simply inspiring – i felt such a quality of tender delicateness and grace it was beautiful and contagious….inspiration is a quality we can live every day….when we are open to our own love…
Beautifully expressed Karoline, it’s so true. When we are open to our own love, knowing that we are far from perfect and that everyone around us can reflect something more for us perhaps, we don’t see others as separate with things/qualities we don’t have.
“Embrace inspiration”. This could be a great slogan. It has become common place to ‘tear’ people down from ‘their perch’, when in fact perhaps we only feel to do this, because as you say they are showing us a way of living that we envy. Instead of celebrating this in another we ‘knock it’ to make ourselves feel better. How incredible to be able to see this happening and understand what is at play, for then the change can be made to support ourselves in our own choices and celebrate those that others make.
You have expressed this so clearly!
I love and feel the truth of the fact that it is my own committment to myself (in every-day choices) that is the pre-requisite to how I feel. No one to point the finger at here but self!
Yet, also, as you beautifully expressed…No-one can take that away from me either! I always have that power within me even if it is only ‘how something will affect the way we feel about ourselves’
Agreed Pernilla. I find it supportive to know that due to the fact that I have choice, I am constantly seeing a reflection of my choices. I like the fact that I only need to look at myself when I am in reaction to something that has happened or how I am feeling. At least where I’m looking for answers is contained rather than needing to search externally which would mean there is an infinite amount of possibilities. Looking at the result of my choices can be challenging and sometimes I get myself caught in going around in circles but what is inspirational is that I have people I trust that I can go to for support who will assist me to rebalance myself. Also, I am learning to constantly remind myself that ‘I’m not that’ and that love is right there inside of me ready to flow once I let it.
An Inspiring read – it made me understand more of how I sometimes react when I see someone live in a way I would love to live too. Not wanting to feel my own choices and Uh Oh’s! Feeling more free to choose the gift of inspiration now!
A very clear distinction between the choices we can make that lead into jealousy of another or those that leave us inspired and ever evolving.
Yes Kristy…. and it’s amazing to clock this difference. When we feel jealous towards another, if we let ourselves be honest, in the moment we can turn it around. we can bringabout a humility and eventually an understanding towards ourselves, as to why we felt jealous, what is another person, another woman reflecting back to us something we have chosen for ourselves. That honesty is so important, and with the understanding and tenderness towards ourselves that can only come from a dedication to self-love, we can then turn around a horrible bout of jealousy to being inspired by another, to look at them and go wow, awesome, thank you — this choice is there for me too.
If we don’t love ourselves though, jealousy has its horrific way and impacts so many with its horrific, damaging force.
Very powerful indeed to see our Uh Oh moments as another opportunity to take further responsibility in evolution. Thank you Rebecca.
Very much appreciating this reflection. A wise person once shared her tip of saying ‘I am not that’ when she feels jealousy or similar emotions. It has really supported me and underscores what you say that self-love, disposing of jealousy and becoming truly able to embrace inspiration takes work, not luck. Also a deep level honesty in the first place.
Yeah Jen the more we are able to see it as a choice to be not loving to ourselves and see it for what it is which is not us, to let it go and just be much more loving to ourselves.
This is true Jen. In order to not live these harmful emotions (such as jealousy) we need to firstly become aware that we are having them and be honest when we feel them come up, not judge ourselves for them, and then embrace loving discipline with them when they occur. Simply saying ‘I am not that’ is beautiful as it declines to allow something that is not of our essence – Divine love – to play out in our relationships.
This is very well summarized. Thank You Dear Ones for expressing it so clearly. It feels really like building to read all These comments and so supportive – I chose Inspiration and giving it to myself as a gift is a beauty-full way to live it more and more.
“I had always assumed this had more to do with how inspiring a person was rather than an interaction that I was actively and crucially part of i.e., a gift I could choose to give myself.” I love this sentence – it says it all, how it is an active choice we make to be inspired by another and not something that is happening to us whilst we are passively waiting for it.
I agree Judith, seeing it in this way revolutionises inspiration. When we can see that it is a choice to allow ourselves to be inspired and not go into comparison (and further into jealousy) then there is really no excuse for the dynamics that we see outplaying in so many (especially) female to female relationships or friendships. And what Rebecca points out here that supports us to go for the inspiration and not the jealousy makes so much sense. When we have a foundation of love for ourselves, we cannot but see this more easily and embrace it in another. Love allows more love, as it is who we truly are after all.
It also exposes how poisonous competitiveness and comparison are. Building self-love helps irradiate these toxins from our lives and our bodies. Now that’s inspiring!
Rebecca i can relate to what you share here, and absolutely love the uh oh’s — and the way that we can either be perturbed by them and enter into comparison or jealousy, or acknowledge them and be inspired by the woman who, through her own choices and in her great being, has opened up ‘our wound’ — in order for us to heal, inspiring us to make similar choices to become ah hah’s. Wonderful antidote to the common issue of comparison and jealousy that so many of us are plagued by.
There is so much to take in here but I deeply appreciate how you have broken down the process of getting from ‘Uh oh’ to ‘Ah ha”. I can recognise times when I’ve gotten stuck in the Uh oh and it doesn’t feel good at all nor does it allow me to move forward. I am learning that when I let myself feel the Uh oh and any sadness that is with it, then I am honouring how precious I really am and can accept that my past choices have not come from a recognition of that. I have found this to be very healing and it builds a foundation of truth from which to make every next choice.
Inspiring Rebecca what you have shared I can completely relate to. I have had times of both feeling Uh-Oh that leads to true inspiration or comparison and jealously. One leads me down a rabbit hole of making myself less and the other activates a sense of there is more for me to embrace that feels possible. It’s so lovely to be able to admit to myself I have fallen in comparison and jealously as then I have the opportunity to look it the face and choose inspiration which as shared is a gift of gold!
What a beautiful blog, Rebecca. I love your question: “What if the amount of love we have for ourselves actually determines how much we allow other people to inspire and uplift us?” It presented me with an Ah hah & then a Uh Oh moment, as you share. I choose to be inspired, thank you.
This blog makes a lot of sense. The more we love ourselves the more we can see that we are equal to loving ourselves and others just as much as the person inspiring us loves themselves and others. If we get stuck in the Uh Oh feelings then we don’t get to feel that all that person is doing, by being themselves, is showing us that we are their equal.
Thankyou Rebecca. A truly inspiring article in which every word is absolutely true. I just loved it.
Just reading your blog is an inspiration in itself and such deepening how to truly be inspired and embrace it.
I love how you have so clearly separated how we can get pulled in 2 ways when we feel inspired by someone.
‘Feel the inspiration and the pull that this person is reflecting and embrace it.’
This way feels so liberating and really living the truth that we feel in ourselves but choose not to and learn to live our truth.
vs.
‘Feel the inspiration and the pull that another is reflecting but get caught in the Uh Oh’s of our own choices or lack of honouring ourselves.’
This way just feels like we are dragging ourself and others along with us.
Yes pinkylight alway refining .
What an absolutely beautiful piece of writing, an inspiration in itself Rebecca with your understanding of what true inspiration is about and how it can reflect to us, offering us the opportunity to deepen into a more loving way of being with ourselves and others – if we choose it. Your words cover every angle, leaving no space for argument or distraction, and they do so from such a loving place that I felt so held in my own past choices that have resisted the pull to deepening love. A great blog to come back to if ever we are finding it difficult to swallow those bitter pills.
Beautiful inspiring article Rebecca. The choice to allow myself to be inspired or to contract with comparison is mine. Lots to ponder on, thank you.
Thank you Rebecca for offering this inspiration. There is so much and so often comparison amongst women. Great to start being (more) honest about that and what it can bring us both as the gift of inspiration or the harm of jealousy. We/I do it in a split second. See what another woman is wearing, how she holds her body, is with herself, how she looks ect. And yes I agree the amount of love I have for myself actually determines how much I allow other people to inspire and uplift me.
Feeling the pull of inspiration Rebecca. Thank you for your powerful and clear expression on the choice that we all hold.
So lovely to read this blog Rebecca, as you’ve uncovered the thing that can hold us from truly being inspired by another. I got to feel from reading your words how I have allowed those “uh-oh” moments to hold myself back from truly embracing the love that is offered by others. I loved your explanation that it is our own self-love or lack of, that can keep us from truly connecting to those around us. It feels by really allowing yourself to feel the ugliness and discomfort that an “uh-oh” can bring, we have an amazing opportunity to truly heal.
It is always so humbling to hear another speak openly about their choices and to show you that they are not perfect in every way, and not afraid to admit where they could have done things differently. These women pave the way for us all to openly share where we have let ourselves down knowing that from the experience we now can make truer choices and be more loving and gentle with ourselves.
Thank you Rebecca, you have captured the way of women so beautifully. We are either at war with ourselves and each other…or we allow another’s light to bring us up, to support us to be equally as bright. Rebecca, YOU are a true inspiration.
Life is all about choice, and what you choose today will affect what you choose tomorrow; I am choosing to be jealous therefore making myself less or am I choosing to inspire and appreciate myself and all others I meet, its a choice in every moment.
Yes Jacqueline, I agree: life is all about choices and we have the freedom to choose to put ourselves down if another woman presents herself amazingly or allow it to be a wake-up call for us to make different choices.
I love this Rebecca, and can relate to the ah ha moments. It is these moments that support me to continue going deeper with my conection to myself as a woman. With role models like Mary Louise, Jenny and yourself how can we not have these ah ha moments. Thank you for sharing.
I never thought of inspiration as something I was allowing myself to be. It feels very true that to appreciate another, I have to also be able to appreciate myself, and to not feel jealous of another, I have to allow myself to feel that I am not less than them and not be hard on myself because I haven’t made those choices at that particular time and that I can make them anytime I choose. A totally different way to look at inspiration with appreciation for self as well as another.
Yes it is crazy that women accept they can be their own worst enemies. Something I have heard and used a lot. But if you look at what role models the world has – it is quiet astonishing to see. There are the ‘career driven power women, the image and beauty goddess, the feminist activist, the super-mum. All of these roles – women could see in a positive light -but they are all roles and not about the true essence of a woman. And it feels like these roles feed jealousy. What we should be doing is appreciating each others true feminine quality – as I have seen in Mary-Louise and Jenny.
The gift of inspiration – so beautiful and so attainable if we allow it. Thank you Rebecca for setting it out in such a clear and relatable way.
Great observations Rebecca. I can totally relate to that moment of reflection from another person who I can feel is more confident, calm, vital, expressive, playful or just has that deep sparkle in their eyes. Then immediately after there is a choice as you say – I can beat myself up or put myself down for not feeling that in my own body – this is not inspiration, it is deflation, rejection, dejection, or… I can understand that what they are showing to me I have the potential to be as well easily and that it is just a matter or altering some very basic and simple choices – nothing fancy or complicated. Then I am truly inspired.
‘How Amazing would our life be if we disposed of jealousy and gave ourselves the gifts of inspiration.’ – An excellent point Rebecca. I love how you suggested us women talk openly about our jealousy and then commit to living differently with each other; exposing the thoughts we have about one another is a brilliant idea! If we were to express these things and learn/observe from others how to overcome and see through them then maybe we could start to change one of the deadliest epidemics that has been globally hushed.
Hi Susie, I love how you call Jealousy one of the deadliest epidemics that has been globally hushed.
If we break it down to a simple Uh Oh, time for different choices then we can easily deal with the discomfort in the realisation that we have not made choices that honour or support ourselves as another has. If we then react to the Uh Oh and make ourselves wrong or make the other wrong to try and shut off the reflection we just create a whole other lot of trouble for ourselves.
No need to be ashamed of jealousy, everyone has delved into it at some stage – let’s just be honest and deal with it and move on.
Such an inspiring piece. From building love for myself, inspired by Universal Medicine, I am now able to look at my unloving choices with the warmth and tenderness I have within.
This is an amazing inspirational article thank you Rebecca all so true and loving.
The inspiration I feel from from the all the Benhayon Family , Sara Williams and others in Universal Medicine is beautiful, awesome and such a true joy for the world and the love is enormous for us all. What great loving choices we can all make and build in our lives too.
“1.Feel the inspiration and the pull that this person is reflecting and embrace it. Know by way of feeling that there is something equally amazing, loving or beautiful inside us waiting for us to express in our own way.” I am choosing this way to be inspired, rather than the comparing and putting myself down and feeling jealous because I feel I haven’t made similar choices. There are some amazing female role models in the UK too – Simone Benhayon and Sara Williams being two such inspirational women. Their commitment to truth and love is awe-inspiring.
The word inspiration makes me feel open and ready to expand and explore choices I can make whereas the word jealousy makes me feel hard and shrink with a stubbornness and denial of choices I have made. Your article shows so clearly how self-love is the foundation to choosing inspiration and letting go of jealousy.
I often feel challenged by true reflections from Universal Medicine practitioners.
When I accept, take responsibility and embrace their inspirational comments, I know I have received a priceless gift.
What a great blog Rebecca equally inspiring for men as well. I like how you say self love is not a given but something that needs dedication and development, commitment etc. so true and such a good place to start. Comparison and jealousy are killers and you are right the more we can bring these evils out in the open the smaller and more insignificant they will become. As someone else said, a lot to ponder on. Thank you.
A very inspirational article
There is a lot within this blog that rings true for me. Especially the part where without the self-love we cannot see or feel that fact of ‘Yes, I am equal to this amazing woman before me’ I may not dress or speak or move the way she does but it is not what she does that I am equal to but that quality within her is equal to what is in me. And because I am equal I can express that quality just as they can and do. Without the self-love within ourselves to accept that we are more than our mistakes we will only see or believe that our mistakes are us and nothing more.
Thank you leighoflight for these eleven words “…that quality within her is equal to what is in me.” So simple and so beautiful and it’s up to me to hold that tenderly within me and express it so.
This is a lovely blog Rebecca. You present a very different (and very true) way of thinking about people who inspire us – as amazing as they may be (and some of the women you used as examples really are incredible), it comes down to us to choose whether we compare and go into jealousy with them, or if we ‘feel the inspiration and the pull that this person is reflecting and embrace it’.
Rebecca, this is so true and important. I have noticed that as children we can have a natural appreciation for each other, with no need to compare. And sometimes I see this happening with adults too. But like you say, even in the closest of friendships, jealousy can been hidden somewhere. how amazing would it be if during our development from girls to women we were encouraged to maintain more self nurturing ways, so that when the potential for inspiration is presented, we are able to embrace it rather than freak out about it and want to tear it down.
A truly inspiring article
“Self-love is something that comes about through a dedication, commitment and consistency towards healing the ugliness or judgment inside us that gets in the way of our natural ability to love ourselves”
This is such an important point and is key to our evolution. Without that commitment to ourselves we can not truly commit to another or anything that we do.
‘Uh oh’ or as a friend shared with me while staying with me, ‘whoops’, it’s just a ‘whoops’ when we get something ‘wrong’ or make a mistake. The pressure we put on ourselves and the ugly spiral downwards when we don’t allow ourselves the grace of inspiration to learn and evolve is a great way to keep ourselves locked in a pattern to stay much smaller in expression than we really are. Developing the love, tender, self-caring, nurturing way is so supportive and as I have developed this for myself over the recent years I can be with the ‘uh oh’ and stay loving and open with myself rather than react and spiral down. It is an awesome way to live.
I also love the comment about jealousy, that we have all felt it and let’s just open up about it. Bring it all into the daylight to be seen and embraced by the warmth of the sun instead of wallowing in the cold damp shadows!
Great blog very inspiring!
The idea of turning the ‘uh oh’ moment into a ‘whoops’ I got something wrong moment is lovely Vanessa, it’s what we allow our children when they make mistakes, but yet we don’t allow that same amount of gentle forgiveness and learning for ourselves. I still have a tendency to react and spiral down, this is a lovely opportunity to try a different approach. Thank you.
Thank you Rebecca. True inspiration. An amazing article.
Thank you Rebecca Poole for writing this amazing piece for us all to be inspired.
Like you, I too am inspired by others especially when they share with humour about their own life and saying it as it is. Sara Williams a presenter of a womens health forum in London comes to mind as she really has so much wisdom to offer and delivers it in a way that reaches us and does not make us feel less. This is what I call inspiring.
I Love your bit – that self love comes about through a dedication, commitment and consistency..I so agree as I have lived this and continue to develop and deepen my self love and it comes from those 3 words.
It was lovely to read and feel the beauty of your blog, Rebecca, thank you. This sentence I felt was particularly lovely – “What if it is our own self-love that protects our relationships from the eroding force of Jealousy and ensures we embrace the gifts of inspiration?”.
Rebecca, this most certainly is an inspirational read. Thank you for writing. I love the paragraph “A Small NOTE: In my experience self-love is not something you either ‘luck of the draw’, have or haven’t got. It is something that comes about through a dedication, commitment and consistency towards healing the ugliness or judgment inside us that gets in the way of our natural ability to love ourselves, the love that nearly all young children know (what we all so naturally knew).” Awesomely put and truly lovely.
Most inspiring Rebecca and definitely something to aspire to. Thank you.
I love your clear and power-full explanation of INSPIRATION, Rebecca, sharing how developing awareness of how we have choice empowers us to feel the magnitude, power and importance of each and every choice we make; how this creates a strength and clarity about the way forward – to make more loving, amazing and beautiful choices for ourselves.
When we allow ourselves the gift of inspiration we are graced naturally with joy, it is very joy-full to watch another in their fullness. Thanks Rebecca for your awesome insight.
To allow ourselves to be inspired without jealousy or judgement is an absolute gift that I am learning on a daily basis. To embrace the beauty of another feels so much more loving. In those true moments of inspiration I can feel the expansion in myself and I can see and feel their amazingness. We mustn’t be afraid of the warts and all admissions because it is that level of honesty that allows another to be inspired. Thank you Rebecca for your timely blog – I also love the ah ha and the uh oh moments… I recognised them so well!
Thank you Rebecca. My eyes didn’t want to leave the page as I read your article. It is filled with truth and so relevant to All women and even men. It has given me an ok feeling knowing that we all experience similar, and also the permission to feel and talk about the warts as well as the amazing moments. I loved your ‘ah ha’ and ‘uh oh’ references- very comical. Even though it is long, I didn’t want it to end. Just like a good book.
Awesome observation Rebecca. I love the clarity of the break-down of each step in the process of feeling inspired and what that may consist of. I feel the solidity of your understanding. Thanks for sharing it!
Thank you Rebecca, this is a very insightful and inspiring piece.
Rebecca, this post has really helped to clarify some things for me. I love how you spoke of sadness relating to becoming more tender and feeling the choices we have made that are not in line with our true selves. Also, the breakdown of the Uh-Oh process once we’ve felt inspired gave me a great reflection of how judgemental I have been towards myself during the initial Uh-Oh. So, thank you so much for this super piece!
Thank you Rebecca, you have given me much to ponder here and I can feel the depth of reflection and self love growing in you which is truly inspirational for all women. You are beautiful.