My Haircut – My masterpiece!

by Sally Scott, Perth, Australia

Getting a haircut is something that we all do – whether it be in a professional salon, visiting someone who works from home, having it done by a family member or friend, or maybe even doing it yourself. We all experience it.

For me, hairdressing salons have always been confronting I have been to small ones, large ones, cheaper ones, very expensive ones, trendy ones and those set up from home. In the past I have found them so intimidating: walking into a space with what I perceived to be lots of beautiful people walking around wearing amazing clothes and parading some very funky hair-dos. There is, of course, generally some sort of music being played, and then to top it all off, you take a seat in front of a mirror where you get to look at yourself and wait until the hairdresser is ready for you.

So what’s confronting about that?

Having to talk with a number of people who seem to be very happy, shiny and beautiful, and feeling like they can’t really be interested in my answers to their questions? Listening to music that you generally do not like? Having to sit in a very uncomfortable position while someone washes your hair with water running down the back of your neck and into your ears? Looking at yourself in the mirror with your towel-dried hair, while a voice in your head is telling you all about the imperfections that you have? You then pick up a magazine… only to be faced with even more beautiful people in amazing outfits and with wonderful hair-dos. Now the voice inside your head is very loud as it tells you your eyes look puffy and that the towel-dried hair does nothing for you, and didn’t you notice that pimple this morning and what were you thinking wearing that colour today? At times the voice inside your head can be very loud, persistent, and have a lot to say.

Your hairdresser comes to you and asks, “What are we doing today?” Are you in any fit state to be deciding on a haircut? My classic response was, “What do you think?” Or, “Do you have any suggestions?”. I may have seen a photo of a stunning model with an amazing cut, colour and blow-dry and say, “I want that”. So my hairdresser either has permission to do what they want, or try out one of the latest cuts that celebrities are wearing and is the latest in hair fashion.

The haircut progresses and you still have to look into the mirror and deal with all sorts of things that go on inside your head. That doesn’t look like the picture, did I have those wrinkles last time I was here, oh my god! is that a grey hair?… or you just shut your eyes and wait for the end result, which is never going to look like the picture because you have different hair, a different shaped face, different skin colour and you do not have people making it look perfect – and you are not being airbrushed for a magazine. The other option is to talk. Talk about anything and everything. It is like a nervous chatter that continues for the entire haircut.

What an exhausting experience! I can feel so tired at the end of my haircut as I deal with people, the reflection of myself in the mirror and the voice inside my head.

How has my experience changed?

Thanks to the presentations of Universal Medicine I have learnt to connect to myself and to express what I feel and know. I have taken this into all aspects of my life – the hairdressing salon is one of them.

I now walk into a hairdressing salon and can be myself, not at all intimidated by what I see, hear or feel there. I am learning to sit in front of the mirror and see the beautiful woman that I am. If I get anxious about this or have self-doubt, then I am honest about this. I simply allow myself to feel it and continue to connect with who I truly am.

I can express what I feel is right for me, and thus choose a haircut that is just right for me and not based on pictures of other people in magazines. This process is not perfect and can be challenging. I may not always be very clear in my communication, and so the hairdresser may not understand or hear what I am saying, but I am learning to be more honest about the whole process. I can let her know if she gets water in my ears when washing my hair, or she may ask me what is going on as she notices when my self-doubt sets in midway through the haircut. But the main thing I have learnt is that it is really important to have fun and be playful when getting your hair cut.

At the end of my last haircut, my hairdresser said to me that my haircut was a masterpiece – my masterpiece! There was nothing technical about it; it was just one of a kind.

217 thoughts on “My Haircut – My masterpiece!

  1. I have started to do stuff with my hair rather than day in day out functional low ponytail. The connection I have with myself determines if the end result is a complete mess or absolutely amazing. It’s never the style I like or dislike but the energy I can feel that made it.

  2. We can have our hair cut professionally done and cut in a way that looks fantastic but if it is done not in a quality that supports us then is it worth paying for and having because of the way it looks? This is my choice and it is my choosing to have my hair cut in a way that I am content and at ease with because of the loving way I hold myself in.

  3. Not always being clear in our communication, but learning to be honest about it: this is a great learning – i.e. that we don’t have to expect ourselves to be perfect, to have to ‘get it right’ but just to honestly express what we can feel and go from there. If there’s a standard of perfection we’ve put on ourselves, a need to get it right, then there’s a pressure that comes with that, that we inflict on our relationships with others – squashing the potential instead of allowing the natural expansion and deepening.

  4. There is nothing more liberating in this world than us living the true expression of who we are. And what a blessing it is for all when it is this expression that we bring to any situation.

  5. What a changes you have made in your life or better said in the relationship with yourself and I can relate to this. Time to appreciate how far we have come and looking at this past experiences I feel how complicated we can make our lives with all these pictures we have about how we should look like based on what is thrown to us from the outside world. Life becomes simple when we start to live from our innerheart….a masterpiece.

  6. This shows how much goes on within our heads going to the hairdressers, and the experiences described here are very relatable for everyone at times. But we have an opportunity to build an honest relationship with a hairdresser, where we get to know them and they get to know us quite intimately on a one to one basis and we can share about our lives, how we live, what we eat, (if we decline the coffee or sweets) and then we can be open about our choice of hair cut too.

  7. When we feel completely at ease with how we already are and feel, any experience, from expressing how we’d like our hair to be cut, to doing a presentation, is so much easier, because there’s no trying involved: just a simple acceptance and a solid sense of clarity.

  8. As in every situatioin in life, going for a haircut is an opportunity of being present, allowing ourselves to express what we feel and honour ourselves with whatever happens. There is a great difference in feel ourselves like that and this is sure reflected in our body and hair expression.

  9. When I used to allow the hairdressers to do what they wanted often, I found that I didn’t like the style, or something was wrong with it, but since I have been saying what I want the haircuts have improved to the point of me actually liking my hair. Who would have thought that giving our power away could be reflected back to us in the mirror everytime we washed and dried our hair in the mornings, only to dread having to go back and repeat it six weeks later.

  10. A great blog Sally making me realise that my hair needs much more attention and loving care than I give it, I remember when young going to the hairdressers and coming out feeling very dissatisfied with my hair do. I realise i need to accept and appreciate my hair and not want it to be something else.

  11. Sally, I loved reading this article. I can relate to the beginning and feeling uncomfortable and looking at the mirror picking myself to pieces being critical. I always dreaded going to the hairdressers and could never understand that it was meant to be a relaxed, pampering and enjoyable experience. This has changed over the years as I am more open and honest and find that I have more meaningful conversations with the hairdressers. I wash my hair before hand because I find the hairdresser sinks too uncomfortable and ask the hairdresser to be gentle and if it hurts during the brushing or cutting at all then I say. And so now I am starting to enjoy going to the hairdressers and am finding what haircuts suit me.

  12. This sounds like a great plan, ‘the main thing I have learnt is that it is really important to have fun and be playful when getting your hair cut,’ then allow this to spread to more of our day.

  13. My last hair cut was with a new hairdresser and was not what I asked for, so I have to ask myself was I clear in my communication, did the hairdresser really hear what I said, or what was going on? ‘I may not always be very clear in my communication, and so the hairdresser may not understand or hear what I am saying, but I am learning to be more honest about the whole process.’

  14. We are enough, simply enough — accepting our grandness therefore is our key focus as women. To come to that base of self-love and understanding, bringing ourselves greater love (by caring for who we are and the body we have). And the way we walk.

  15. For years I hated going to hair salons to have my hair cut, on account of all the conditions you describe Sally. . When I found a hairdresser that would come to my home, this was heaven I moved a few years ago and have now found a beautiful hairdresser with whom I feel comfortable. I even travel to London (UK) to see her – a two hour journey – but so worth it. Because I feel more at ease with myself this experience is no longer excruciating and is now even enjoyable!

  16. Communicating clearly and playing your part are key elements to getting a great haircut as is having fun! How often are we offered the opportunity to explore our relationships and how they change when we start to be more honest with ourselves and others? Thank you for sharing your experiences which are so relatable.

  17. Sally, thank you for such a delightful and very real account of a visit to the hairdressers. You had me laughing out loud as I recognised everything single that you wrote about. During all my very uncomfortable visits I became very adept at not looking at myself in the mirror, but of course that really didn’t change anything. Fast forward to today and at 68 I am not phased in any way how I look in the hairdresser’s mirror, in fact I welcome the opportunity to have the space to take a long loving look at my reflection and am able to look past any perceived imperfections to the beautiful woman looking back at me. And even my wrinkles don’t bother me anymore, they are simply a part of the “masterpiece” that is me.

  18. I used to find hairdressers intimidating and used to avoid them at all costs, often cutting my own hair sometimes into some right dodgy looking styles, now however I am confident when I go in, I make it clear what I want and I clock if I feel uncomfortable and instead of running I deal with it. Going to the hair dressers for me used to be borderline traumatic now I love going.

  19. Hi Sally that was a great description of past trips to the hairdressers. I had to laugh for that was exactly to a tee my experience also. So much so in fact I used to avoid the hairdressers altogether and cut and colour my own hair. Nowadays I love going as I have established a great relationship with myself and with my hairdresser and bring my own ear plugs so water doesn’t get in my ears and have a lot of fun as we always connect and talk honestly and openly.

  20. Thank you Sally for sharing this beautiful example of how our life’s experiences, or the way we experience life, is led by the quality of relationship we hold with ourselves. For when we are in connection to our essence, we can appreciate how gorgeous it feel to be who we naturally are, regardless of wherever we are and whatever we are doing.

  21. It’s true that hairdressing salon experiences can be quite negative and self bashing, they are filled with images and ideals of outer beauty, and the level of care can be low also – as you mentioned in the wash basin experience! But your blog shows Sally we can turn that around, by being connected to and honouring of our inner beauty, and being honest with the hairdresser also, and be open to having some fun too

  22. The last few times I have got my hair cut, I go with an idea of how I want it and how short and I tell the hairdresser and then I just stay with myself and enjoy my own company. This way the end result has to look amazing because it is reflecting the yumminess that you felt the whole way through the cut.

  23. I loved reading your blog Sally especially since I am contemplating getting my hair cut, I feel I need to be more clear with how I would like my hair cut and not be so influenced by the hairdresser.

  24. Even though I work in the image industry I have never enjoyed going to salons and have for many years avoided cutting my hair except after a job in a studio. Part of this is because I do not want to give myself the nurturing and space of being really taken care of, but part of it is because I do not enjoy what is felt in a salon such as the superficiality that is made to be all important and the control that happens between hair stylist and client, but all of those reflections are for me to deepen in my expression of what is felt and to communicate it. But I also agree with you that looking in the mirror and coming in acceptance of ourselves is a super experience and learning, to just allow ourselves to feel where we feel vulnerable or go into comparison, and to just sit with that. When I do that I know there is a deeper part of myself that is unseen and that is what supports me to stay steady with every changing thing on the outside. So now I enjoy going to the salon very much, to do my hair but also sometimes I go there just to talk to people, customers and staff, and it is a very enjoyable experience.

    1. There is a lot of information around the fact of going to the haircut that affects us just by stepping into to the hair salon. Being aware of that is the first step to not get affected for it. The second one is giving ourselves the space to be and respect ourselves no matter the pressures that may come to us in that surrounds. The third one (maybe shoud be the first one?) is enjoy!

  25. Even though I work in the image industry I have never enjoyed going to salons and have for many years avoided cutting my hair except after a job in a studio. Part of this is because I do not want to give myself the nurturing and space of being really taken care of, but part of it is because I do not enjoy what is felt in a salon such as the superficiality that is made to be all important and the control that happens between hair stylist and client, but all of those reflections are for me to deepen in my expression of what is felt and to communicate it. But I also agree with you that looking in the mirror and coming in acceptance of ourselves is a super experience and learning, to just allow ourselves to feel where we feel vulnerable or go into comparison, and to just sit with that. When I do that I know there is a deeper part of myself that is unseen and that is what supports me to stay steady with every changing thing on the outside.

  26. This is an awesome blog, I can so relate to everything that you have shared- that feeling of comparison, self judgement, thinking the person isn’t interested in your answers etc. I used to hate going in to get my hair cut for all these reasons, now I have changed within myself but I also go to a hair dresser where there aren’t any images on the walls or books and I notice that I am more at ease within myself because of this.

  27. Love this blog, so many, many women will be able to relate to this self-bashing that goes on inside our heads at the hairdressers…. I have also found that when I claim my space and am very clear in expressing the cut I want that feels right to me, it is always a winner – a masterpiece of the day.

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