A True Inspiration

by Amina Tumi, Hair Salon Owner, London, England

I have been inspired to really start to listen to what I feel and this has made a profound difference to my life. Natalie Benhayon has brought my attention to deeply cherishing ME, something that I had not given myself permission to do before, even though I knew it was something that I was missing. I have always relied on other people to make me feel good and tell me how amazing I am, as opposed to feeling this way for myself. It has been remarkable to feel how this is changing my life, the difference it is making in my day, and in turn in my relationships with others.

It really has been simple changes that have made huge differences, such as giving myself more time in the mornings so I can feel what I need. I sometimes now have a bath in the mornings if my body needs it (I would never have given myself time for that before) – or really feeling into what I would like to wear and being playful with myself with what I choose. Then there is resting when my body needs it, and I have to say I’ve really had to learn how to rest as I have always been such a ‘doing kind of person‘ – even when I am exhausted I would still find myself doing things. I am finding that the key has been to do these self-nurturing things regularly and not just now-and-then… and so making them a way of life. Who would have thought that to simply start to cherish you and your body and adore yourself in a way that can only be considered as something very beautiful, would have such an impact.

Why is it that no-one is teaching this in the world? Why are we not reading articles on this? Who are we calling true inspirations? From what I have seen and felt from people who we call inspirational, we need to be attractive / sexy (get lots of male attention), have a good body (even if you are unhealthy or your body is fake), have an important or famous job that pays well, and make life all about you, your issues and what you have done in the world. The difference that has been presented by Natalie Benhayon is that we need to start with a true relationship with ourselves, one that is about a real and strong connection with yourself, your body and the way you do everything – allowing yourself time to truly listen to what your body needs in a way that gives it (the body) an opportunity to be honest. What I found very interesting when I first started to listen to how my body felt was that in fact, I did not want to look at how my body was feeling! Shortly after, I realised why this was the case; it was because my body felt so very exhausted because of the way I had been living, that I did not want to feel how awful I was in fact feeling. When I finally did allow myself to listen, I felt like I could not move for two whole days just due to how exhausted my body was from the way I had been choosing to live. So from there I started to build a relationship with my body that is far more attentive and responsive, which I have to say, has been profound for me in so many ways…

I run a busy hair salon in London and the way in which I work now is completely different to how I worked before. Don’t get me wrong! I still work hard and in some ways harder, but now I work in a way where I honour my body – letting it tell me what it wants and needs and then I listen and respond. This new relationship with myself has also reshaped the way in which I deal with staff, and as a result my relationships with them are now amazing on so many levels. This had always been an area in which I had struggled before, and I would often find myself complaining about not being able to find the right person. However, what has become clear to me is that the way I was towards myself was also the way I was with my staff – I would not give myself time to see how I was feeling and what I needed, and so too I did not give them time to see how they were and what they needed. In addition, I had such high expectations of myself that if I did not exceed them then I had failed, and so with the same measure, this is how I was with my staff too – and who wants to work for someone who puts that much pressure on you!? I could also be hard on myself when I made mistakes and likewise, of course, I was hard on my staff when they too made mistakes. By being gentle and loving towards myself I am continuing to expose such unnecessary behaviours, which I now know not only exhaust me, but can also create obstacles and problems that would take time and energy to sort out.

Instead I have found that there is a lovely way to do everything that in fact does not exhaust me at all. For example, being gentle with my body when I get dressed and not rushing in the morning to get to work, and starting my day at work by being very gentle and present with everything I touch and do. I continue to work on coming back to that gentle way every time I catch myself going back into old habits of doing things in a rough, tough way that I can feel really hardens my body and makes me very exhausted.

As simple as it sounds, I continue to keep adoring and truly taking care of myself, which has been a complete revelation and amazing learning, both for me and for others around me.

194 thoughts on “A True Inspiration

  1. “I am finding that the key has been to do these self-nurturing things regularly and not just now-and-then… and so making them a way of life” There is so much I have taken from this blog, thanks Amina love it.

  2. Many talk of feeling the body, but not many acknowledge that when we first feel the body (after say not having done so for a while), we will not always like what we feel, and so acceptance, care, patience and love is vital as we feel how we are in our bodies and feel what is truly needed by our bodies. And just committing to this can bring amazing and often surprising results. Give it a try.

  3. When we choose to consistently take loving care of ourselves this is reflected in all our relationships and they become more loving and less stressful.

  4. I attended an event presented by Natalie Benhayon last weekend. What a glorious young woman she is and such a wonderful role model for other young women…and perhaps more mature ones too I suspect. In fact, I found her deeply inspiring…so perhaps the truth is she is an awesome reflection for all of us, no matter what our age or gender.

    1. Yes she is an amazing role model for all and her inspiration is widely felt not just by those who meet her but by the ripples of their reflections too.

  5. ‘I am finding that the key has been to do these self-nurturing things regularly and not just now-and-then… and so making them a way of life.’ This is vital in my experience. Living a self-loving life is not just something that can be done in 5 minutes in the morning, it is a way of life. When I was a young man I went through a period of stress and depression and this led me into a search for answers. When I began that search I thought I was looking for something that could ‘fix me’ and get me back to my life as it was. But today I know that the way my life was, was the problem and what was needed was to change how I was living. It took time but once I reconnected to the truth of a self-loving and self-nurturing life that was the key. So, I fully agree, to self-nurture is a way of life – and what is more, it is a joy-full way of living too.

  6. What really stands out when reading this is that how we are with ourselves then plays out in our interactions with others. It puts the spotlight on how we are at work with each other and our responsibility.

  7. It is so amazing how the body responds to love, our love, in the respect, tenderness and deeply honouring way you are expressing in how you now treat your body Amina.

  8. ‘I would not give myself time to see how I was feeling and what I needed, and so too I did not give them time to see how they were and what they needed.’ I am also finding that the more I allow myself to feel the more honest I become and this honesty is felt by others. It makes for much more real and transparent relationships where we are no longer hiding or trying to live up to an ideal or belief as to how we think things ought to look or be.

  9. Life becomes super simple when we start to take take care and adore ourselves, things like stress and overwhelm are things of the past when we bring back a true sense of self worth

  10. It is incredibly inspiring to feel how in honoring and nurturing ourselves, our body and being, our days are lived with greater vitality and true enjoyment that is sustained throughout the day. And what’s more is that I have found that I can work even longer hours with me arriving at the end of my working day without feeling exhausted.

  11. I can feel that my body is asking for more love and nurturing from me and I am gradually answering the call although it is interesting to observe how rebellious I can also be at times. It seems that the body has its own intelligence and is very clear when it is asking for us to change. It waits patiently for us to obey and as we do we feel the vitality and quality returning to our body and our life.

  12. Thank you Amina, I agree that body awareness is vital to building a loving and gentle life for ourselves, as we know exactly what is needed by listening to the body and responding accordingly.

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