A Woman Versus a True Woman

by Priscila, UK

“What does it mean to be a woman? And what does it mean to be a true woman?”

When I first attended an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) talk, I couldn’t understand why the women were talking about being a ‘woman’. I couldn’t understand – how could a woman find it difficult to be a woman?

Up until that moment I considered myself a ‘super woman’, in all senses. Having grown up in Brazil where appearances count a lot, I got used to doing all the girlie things: I would have my nails done regularly, take good care of my skin and hair (dermatologist consultations three times a year!), wear make-up, do exercise to show a toned and fit body, dress in a very feminine way, wearing skirts, dresses, accessories, high heels…

I was also a ‘super woman’ in all other aspects of my life: very efficient, a great housewife, intelligent, well educated, successful, friendly, very dedicated to my family and friends… but interestingly, even ticking all the boxes of the ‘super woman’, I was still trying to better myself (physically, emotionally, professionally) – it was never enough. So I was there at the EBM talk, listening to women talking about nurturing yourself, taking care of yourself, taking notice when you are doing things too hard… and there was a part of me that was saying “I am a woman already, I know it all…”

However, the other part of me couldn’t deny what I was feeling. There was something different in the women presenting the talk. The way they were speaking, the way they were moving… there was something different which later became evident during the sessions I had with these women, and by working with one of them in particular, Sara Williams.

I remember going for a session with Sara and I was dressed in a very feminine way. I was wearing a skirt, make-up and high heels, and I was surprised to see that, even though she was not wearing any make-up, nor a skirt or a dress, I found her the most beautiful woman – and she didn’t have any ‘apparatus’. I remember being so impressed with the way she placed her hands on her legs while we were talking – there was a ‘lightness’ in that, a delicateness. I came home after the session (and you are allowed to laugh!), and I sat and placed my hands on my legs and I simply couldn’t do that – my arms felt so heavy, and so did my hands, and all I could feel was how heavy my chest and upper body were. It was a bit of a shock as that seemed like a ‘natural’ position, but it was very revealing for me to feel how hardened I was.

The more I observed Sara, the more she inspired me. Little nuances, details, like the way she opened the doors, her posture, the tone of her voice. And it was equally amazing to see how active and efficient she was in the workplace. She did work with deadlines to meet and there were busy days, some days working extra hours, but her quality remained the same, she had this steadiness, the same delicateness and ‘lightness’.

Things then started making sense for me. I started discerning that it was not just about appearances – how things look. There was more, there was this ‘quality’ I was sensing, this essence, this natural beauty which had nothing to do with my ideal of what a woman was. Then later, when I saw Sara wearing make up or wearing a dress and high heels, this same quality remained. For me, it seemed like she didn’t want to impress anyone or look a certain way, it was just that beauty of hers being expressed out, like the cherry at the top of the cake!

Yes, I am a very beautiful woman on the outside; I tick all the boxes of what it means to be a woman in the physical sense. However, I was not living from this quality inside, this essence, this natural beauty.

When I felt this, my sessions with Esoteric practitioners from Universal Medicine, the Esoteric Presentations for Women, and the Esoteric Developers Women’s Group started making more sense. It’s very inspiring to listen to both the women presenting as well as the women from the audience – there is a similarity within both, something you can relate to yourself so you do not feel alone, you feel supported.

Slowly I came to feel my body more. On my first Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) I didn’t feel my breasts; they were numb as I was numb. I came to understand that my life was lived in a raciness, life was an urgent thing to deal with, and when there was no urgency, I would create tonnes of activities and distractions. I was always busy, work-wise or pleasure-wise, non-stop.

Looking back I can honestly say that trying to be the super woman took me away from the true woman I am naturally. The life I had created for myself, a life of doings, pursuits, achievements – always trying to improve myself in any way I could – left me hard, driven, and disconnected to myself.

My body had been shouting at me long ago, from my teenage years. My period symptoms included pain, mood, appetite and sleep irregularities, and I would refuse to take any medication (I was strong!), as that for me was a sign of what it meant to be a woman. I stopped having my period in my 20’s when I was also diagnosed with hormonal irregularities and haven’t had a period since then except when using hormonal medication and contraceptive pills.

Being a true woman is something I am just starting to understand and allow myself to feel. There was a point when I did want to get rid of all I’ve done to look like a woman: no more make-up, no more housewife role, no more high heels… But that didn’t work either, that also felt hard in my body.

Today, I feel my body is becoming more natural, less hard and my movements are more delicate. And I am learning that I am beautiful already and I don’t need to become anything or do something to achieve it, that I can be efficient and dedicated to work without compromising myself and that self-criticism makes me feel even harder.

Today I love a lot of girlie things: make up, having my nails done, dressing, skirts, high heels, facials, warming up the Esoteric Breast Massage cream I apply on my breasts (by the way, I use one of those oil diffusers) – I love taking care of myself. These activities that once were done to impress the world are now things that I do for myself and I enjoy doing. I love taking care of the house as well and leaving a touch of beauty in what I do. I don’t try to be the perfect 24/7 housewife, and I have learned to ask for help when it’s needed.

It’s been a loving learning process. Sometimes I find myself going into auto-pilot in the way I do my make-up to go to work, or dressing for a specific place, without feeling what it is that I really want to wear on that day. But that’s ok also – it just shows me the way I’ve done things for so long.

I love all modalities of treatments presented by Serge Benhayon through Universal Medicine. However, I must say there is something special about the modalities brought specifically for women under the banner of Esoteric Women’s Health. You feel the dedication, something that was created for you, it’s very honouring. These modalities are here to confirm that the true woman is inside us, hence why I feel these sessions are so powerful and special. It’s not about going somewhere, becoming, doing or achieving something – it’s about confirming the true women we are within.

336 thoughts on “A Woman Versus a True Woman

  1. Priscila this has been beautiful to read again, thank you. I enjoyed everything you shared and noted this line “The more I observed Sara, the more she inspired me.” Inspiration is a beautiful experience because through the way someone is we can reconnect to those qualities in ourselves. Your words about Sara’s consistency also were touching, I feel this deepens and consolidates what we are inspired by because without a need for perfection the solidness of someone shows us how real and practical those qualities are.

  2. It feels so gorgeous how you have dropped your pictures of what a true woman is, you ticked all those boxes and found that wasn’t it. Returning to you, feeling all of yourself on the inside is reflected wherever you go, and that light beams out to everyone as a true woman.

  3. Thank you Priscila for sharing your journey from the woman you were to the true woman you now are. It is very revelatory, as you was ticking all the boxes of what in our sociaty is meant to be a woman, but it wasn’t until you honestly and lovingly embraced yourself (instead of relying on outide arrangements), that you got your true femininity back to you. Very inspiring..

  4. To feel how our quality with us impacts on everything is key and shows us how much we impact our own bodies, for instance reading today ‘self-criticism makes me feel even harder.’ rang very true for me and brought home the value of deeply appreciating myself and how criticism is not supportive … we can look amazing, but how are we as we relate to us? And the more we allow ourselves to deeply care for and nurture ourselves not as a doing but as an understanding that how we are with us confirms or denies the inner beauty that is us.

  5. The beautiful true woman is inside of us all just waiting to be acknowledged, and with loving tenderness brought into all our day to day livingness.

  6. It is amazing to be inspired by a quality of reflection that asks us to reflect on ourselves and feel more deeply how we are truly feeling in our body. Bringing an honesty to the way in which we are living and holding ourselves opens up our awareness to realise how hardening our body in protection keeps us isolated and pushing ourselves beyond our natural limit and out of sync with the true rhythm of our body.

  7. Being a true woman felt so foreign in my body for so many years. This website and sharings by so many women has allowed me to stop and take stock of what I’ve allowed to run the course of life and surprisingly it has never been about honour the woman. Thank you for giving so many women the permission to feel this through the many expressions.

  8. When we let go of our ideal in how a woman should look and start connecting to our inner quality of being and natural delicateness within we are able to realise that it is only in our disconnection from ourselves that we harden our body in reaction otherwise we are naturally tender by nature.

  9. I love the way you describe how you’ve been living as a loving learning process, keeping observing how you’re doing things and not judging if it feels off but simply allowing yourself to see it and then do things differently.

  10. Beautiful we all can find our own way to be a woman – a woman that expresses so much more deeply, sincerely and tenderly and does not require the ideas and pictures of what it looks like to be a woman. No pictures, but a deep connection with our stillness and natural nurturing ways.

  11. Hear! Hear! Society can only prosper from women living from their inner most, that natural delicate yet most powerful beauty within. Our society is lacking many things but this is one where the lack has more of an impact than most realise.

    1. I agree, I have run away form what it means to be a woman who feels, is open, vulnerable, powerful…I am returning to that in in doing so I can feel the lack and that this Love and care and reflection in society is sorely needed.

  12. That says it all. There are so many women, especially young women who have hormone problems and they look outside as a woman.
    If we disconnect with our natural rhythms how much of a women are we still living?

  13. Yes, this is not being true to ourselves as a woman, yet so many of us get caught in it, ‘The life I had created for myself, a life of doings, pursuits, achievements – always trying to improve myself in any way I could – left me hard, driven, and disconnected to myself.’ Lovely how you are connecting back to the true woman you innately are.

  14. It’s very precious how you let yourself get inspired by Sara Williams and the other presenters. The opportunity that you gave it to ponder how you actually felt as a woman shows me that we always have the space to be more honest with ourselves, to reconnect back with true women we are within.

  15. It’s very delightful to see the grace and natural beauty from a woman who doesn’t need to impress the world. The reflection of these women makes me realize that we already are complete in our inner heart. Connecting with it is a very wise choice to make that brings us back to the preciousness that we come from.

  16. Reading your experience touched me so much Prisicila. Every word speaks about myself and how I never felt enough before start my work with Universal Medicine. I’ve enjoyed reading you and deeply greatful for the inspiration and infinite support from the amazing practicioners of Esoteric Women’s Health.

  17. I loved reading this piece, it makes me appreciate the journey of discovery in to what being a woman actually is. Like when we were young and the whole of life was laid out before us, with any potential and possibility.

  18. Inspiring to read, of your observations of being true to yourself as woman, as you say we can not find it on the outside, it is all within.

  19. This is so true, we are all naturally beautiful from the inside, ‘I am learning that I am beautiful already and I don’t need to become anything or do something to achieve it, that I can be efficient and dedicated to work without compromising myself and that self-criticism makes me feel even harder.’

  20. “Looking back I can honestly say that trying to be the super woman took me away from the true woman I am naturally. The life I had created for myself, a life of doings, pursuits, achievements – always trying to improve myself in any way I could – left me hard, driven, and disconnected to myself.” So many of us have lived the ‘trying’ to be a super woman. Finding the natural beauty we all have within and letting that out surpasses all the fixes that come from trying to change the outer.

  21. Pricilla thank you for sharing so clearly the difference between what outer beauty is and what inner beauty is in relationship to being a woman. When we connect with our innermost qualities of being a woman, we emanate a natural beauty.

  22. Thank you for this beautiful sharing. I love reading about the way you attempted to emulate the movement you had observed Sara make. This alone shows how you absolutely knew that the truth of expressing as a woman lies in our movements.

    1. True Leonne. I also love the infinite honesty of Priscila in showing her experience in such a naked way. This makes me realize how wonderful life can be if we observe our movements, thoughts and actions with no judgment but simply in a very open and innocent way to ponder how it feels like for us.

  23. A great awareness to come to Priscilla – when movement comes from a lived quality the innermost beauty is apparent in everything we do.
    “Things then started making sense for me. I started discerning that it was not just about appearances – how things look. There was more, there was this ‘quality’ I was sensing, this essence, this natural beauty which had nothing to do with my ideal of what a woman was”.

  24. By the appearance of Sara Williams and Natalie Benhayon I start to see for the first time in this life women who are true to themselves. In the way they move, talk, walk everything is natural with themselves. They don’t make any talk to please you or move in a way to impress. They emanate a holding of love from within. Those two women showed me the way to live as a woman in a woman body. I never had this true rolemodel in my life. All women around me where in less or more degree giving themselves away so did I.
    I am evolving now in this and I see many women studying with Universal Medicine making those changes too. This is a big gift for not just ourselves but also our future generations young women.

  25. Being a woman is about the being-ness and not the doing-ness. Otherwise we would not ‘be a woman’, we would ‘do a woman’.

    1. … and yes, being a woman is not thinking-imagining-creating-performing any ideal at all, but living-exploring-allowing-enjoying the woman we truly are

  26. Priscila you are an inspiration to us all, you are so naturally beautiful, sweet and kind you reflect to me, the true strength and power felt in delicateness.

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